By Zephyria 
“L-Lee A-gon.”
I was so bewildered that my mouth froze shut. Hae-jun stood there dumbfounded, covering his mouth in shock. Seeing Hae-jun like that, Lee A-gon began to cry out loud. Clutching the sheets tightly with his bone-dry hands, he wept bitterly.
It took a long while for Hae-jun to regain his senses. He carefully examined Lee A-gon’s shocking appearance.
Once the initial shock subsided, he could look at things a bit more objectively. Lee A-gon looked extremely thin, extremely pale, and extremely unwell, but fortunately, his condition wasn’t as severe as when they first met. At the very least, he didn’t look like a skeleton.
“What happened?”
Lee A-gon didn’t answer and just kept crying.
“Are you sick somewhere? Did you… take something?”
For his appearance to change this much in a short period, the idea of him taking something was more plausible than him being sick. Thinking that, Hae-jun felt anger rising despite his disbelief.
“No. I didn’t take anything.”
“Then why are you in this state?”
“Because you… hyung…”
“Me? What did I do?”
Lee A-gon, who had turned to look at Hae-jun with a choked-up face, flopped back down weakly. The pillow and sheets were soaked with tears, as if he had been crying all this time.
“You… hyung… you…”
“Yeah, me what? What did I do?”
Frustrated, Hae-jun strode closer. But Lee A-gon, as if he no longer wanted to speak, clamped his mouth shut like a clam and only shed tears.
Hae-jun was now getting annoyed. He, too, was like dry tinder ready to ignite due to the emotional turmoil of the past few days.
“Are you really not going to talk? Then I’ll just leave?”
“……”
“Fine. Okay. Do as you please.”
Hae-jun really was about to leave. Then, he felt a weak tug on the back of his clothes from behind. Letting the tension drain from his shoulders and calming his anger, Hae-jun slowly turned back toward Lee A-gon.
“You… hyung… you.”
Biting his pale lips hard and then releasing them, he cried out.
“You said you preferred someone your own age!”
“……Huh?”
At the sudden mention of age, Hae-jun was momentarily stupefied. Lee A-gon looked at that face and burst into loud sobs.
“Lee A-gon, what did I do?”
“I saw everything you wrote. That when looking at a man, the most important thing is appearance over academic background, that the ideal man’s height is 175 cm, that the most important thing for a man is his face, and… a big penis.”
“What? When did I…”
Hae-jun was flabbergasted. He truly had never said such things. But Lee A-gon seemed to think Hae-jun was lying and was deeply hurt.
“You said among older, younger, or same-age partners, you prefer same-age, sniff, that the ideal man’s height is 175 cm, and that you prefer hair… hair pretty much everywhere. Why, why are you lying? Why.”
“Hey, I didn’t say that.”
“You did. You filled out the questionnaire that way.”
At the mention of a questionnaire, Hae-jun suddenly recalled a memory. It was the test form he had filled out when undergoing the conscription examination for military enlistment. The conditions for a man that Lee A-gon was reciting were exactly the results of Hae-jun’s test.
“Hey! You saw that?”
“I did! What about it? You lied to me too, hyung!”
Lee A-gon shouted with venom. Damn it, Hae-jun rubbed his face dry.
“And also, hyung…”
The venom he had briefly harbored dissipated in an instant, and Lee A-gon, filled with sorrow again, burst into tears.
“You… you said you prefer someone from Chungcheong Province.”
Lee A-gon buried his face in his knees and wailed. It was a full-blown, loud lament. He mumbled something. I can’t help where I was born. Why do you like men from Chungcheong Province, hyung? Does it absolutely have to be Chungcheong Province? I was born in Seoul. This is one problem I can’t overcome no matter what I do.
To summarize, it was this: Hae-jun had a preference for a man born in Chungcheong Province, 175 centimeters tall, of the same age, with a handsome face. These were conditions Lee A-gon could never meet, even if he died and came back to life. That was precisely why Lee A-gon had stopped eating and drinking, locked himself in his room, and done nothing but cry for days.
“Moreover, hyung, you checked ‘tanned’ for preferred skin tone, and your preferred MBTI is ESFP. I’m an INTJ. So I’m objective, logical, and analytical. But you said you like someone completely opposite to me.”
Did I even check that? There were so many questions that I didn’t even read the later ones and just marked them in a 3-2-1, 3-2-1 pattern. The result was a tanned, ESFP man from Chungcheong Province, 175 cm tall.
“You want an outgoing, sociable, unprejudiced man from Chungcheong Province with a harmonious personality who gets along well with people and has a good academic background. But I don’t have any friends and I didn’t even finish middle school. How on earth am I supposed to compete with a man like that?”
That was what he meant—he had locked himself in his room and cried because it was so heartbreaking. Because he wasn’t from Chungcheong Province. Because he wasn’t the same age as hyung. Because he was over 190 cm tall. Because his MBTI wasn’t ESFP.
Hae-jun, who had been repeatedly rubbing his face dry, slowly slid his hand to cover his mouth. His lips were twitching.
‘Cute.’
Lee A-gon was cute.
‘So cute. So adorable.’
He cried all this time just because of that stupid questionnaire? Because he didn’t match my ideal type?
‘Why are you so cute like this?’
I can’t stand it. No, I couldn’t stand it. Before he knew it, Hae-jun was pulling Lee A-gon into a forceful embrace. Without even realizing he was doing it, he held Lee A-gon, cupped his face, and kissed him.
Lee A-gon, pulled into the embrace, flinched in surprise, then quickly hugged Hae-jun back and kissed him. Salty tears smeared between their lips. Lee A-gon’s face, nestled in his loved one’s arms, bloomed brightly like a prince freed from a curse.
Hae-jun opened his eyes, pulled his face back, and was startled. In the brief moment their eyes were closed and they were kissing, Lee A-gon’s face had transformed from a pitiful, starved state into a human face.
“Hyung.”
With pearl-like tears clinging to the tips of his long eyelashes, Lee A-gon smiled brightly. Hae-jun was flustered, mouth agape, at a loss for words. What the… Now it wasn’t just a human face, but a handsome human face. Was it because it had been so long since he had seen Lee A-gon’s face this close? His heart pounded.
“Hyung. Hae-jun hyung.”
While Hae-jun remained still, Lee A-gon kissed him once more. Finally coming to his senses, Hae-jun sprang up. He grabbed his own face and let out a short groan. He thought he was in trouble.
“So… it’s okay if I’m not from Chungcheong Province?”
Lee A-gon approached, his eyes shining.
“Hyung. Answer me. Is it really okay if I’m not from Chungcheong Province?”
“First, Lee A-gon.”
Pushing away Lee A-gon who was trying to hug him, Hae-jun carefully opened his mouth.
“Let me correct something. Clicking Chungcheong Province was a mistake. Same age too. I don’t really care about it that much. But that doesn’t mean I want to get back together with you.”
At the words that Chungcheong Province and same age weren’t important, Lee A-gon’s face, which had brightened considerably, darkened again.
“You just kissed me.”
“Yeah. That was my mistake.”
Hae-jun chose his words slowly. At the word ‘mistake,’ Lee A-gon’s eyes grew sad. He was hurt.
“I shouldn’t have done that. I absolutely shouldn’t have kissed you so easily after hurting you like this.”
Haa, a sigh escaped him.
“Do you dislike me that much?”
“It’s not that I dislike you. I’m… scared of you.”
Lee A-gon’s eyes widened in surprise.
“You’re scared of me? Why? I could even die if you told me to.”
“That’s exactly what’s scary, Lee A-gon.”
The fact that if they dated and he tried to break up, Lee A-gon would confine him; that he would try to make him pregnant without consent; that he actually had the ability to induce a phantom pregnancy—that ability was terrifying.
Hae-jun recalled the time milk came from his own chest. It still gave him the creeps. He didn’t want to keep dating a man who could manipulate another person’s body at will.
“I don’t want to get pregnant.”
“I swear I’ll absolutely never do it…”
“Sorry, but I can’t believe that oath either.”
Hae-jun cut off Lee A-gon’s words decisively.
“You made me have a phantom pregnancy regardless of my will. If you want it, my body will produce fluid for you. No matter how much you promise, if you strongly desire it, my body might change to make pregnancy possible. I’m scared of that, Lee A-gon.”
“……”
“So please understand. I can’t date you.”
“……What if?”
Lee A-gon, who had been listening quietly with his head bowed, mumbled something.
“What did you say? I didn’t hear it.”
“What if… hyung couldn’t get pregnant?”
Hae-jun tilted his head quizzically.
“Well, that’s probably the case for now. The changes aren’t finished yet, right?”
“No. That’s not it.”
Lee A-gon looked up at Hae-jun with only his pupils, a sense of anguish evident, as if he had to confess an unpleasant truth.
“What if… from the very beginning, there was no possibility of hyung getting pregnant? Then what would you do?”