By Zephyria 
The murmuring voices fade away, and the air changes to a more subdued atmosphere. Eun-ha, holding the pamphlet, slowly dragged his feet along the designated route. He leisurely appreciated the artworks. Some were so magnificent that exclamations naturally flowed, while others were difficult to understand.
It was while standing in front of a difficult piece that Gu Hae-bin, leaning in, spoke in a low voice.
“Is it too harsh to say I feel like I could draw something like this too?”
“…It is a rude remark.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it? Maybe it’s because I don’t have an eye for art.”
Eun-ha raised his head. He looked up at the large canvas hanging on the wall. It was a painting where no object or shape was clearly visible.
Since childhood, he had been frequently dragged to exhibitions and various galleries by Mom, but with these profound and abstruse works, he was always at a loss as to what he should be impressed by. Perhaps that was why they were so valuable.
“It just looks like a kindergartener scribbled on it, but they say one of these paintings costs tens of millions of won.”
“Mm.”
“Are you backing down? You’re pretending to be nice all by yourself, empathizing with me.”
“It’s true that it’s rude. It’s also true that I don’t have an eye for it.”
“At this size, it must be worth well over 50 million.”
“……”
“If they gave a huge discount and said 30 million, would you buy it or not?”
“I wouldn’t buy it.”
Gu Hae-bin chuckled at the immediate answer. Eun-ha also smiled faintly. It was while they were having such trivial conversations that the sound of heels rapidly approaching from behind suddenly broke the silence.
“You.”
Soon, a familiar, elegant fragrance lingered. Eun-ha’s lips momentarily hardened with displeasure, but he quickly composed his expression.
Standing behind him was Eun-ha’s mother, Kang Yeo-jin. She glared sharply at Eun-ha.
“Lee Eun-ha, you…”
“Hello, Mother.”
Then, in an instant, she changed her face. Very affectionately and gently. Yeo-jin smiled and lightly grasped Gu Hae-bin’s arm.
“Yes. Hello, Hae-bin. How is it that you look more handsome every time I see you? Hmm? You look so handsome today.”
“Ahahaha, thank you. So, I guess this is where I excuse myself for a bit?”
“I like how quick you are on the uptake even more. Thank you, Hae-bin. Thank you today. This auntie is always grateful.”
“It’s nothing. Then, please talk with Eun-ha.”
Ah. Don’t go. Eun-ha regretfully watched Gu Hae-bin, who had politely greeted them, walk away. He stared intently at the back of his head before turning his attention back. He resumed his interrupted appreciation of the artworks.
Pretending not to notice, he tried to keep his gaze fixed on the canvas, but Yeo-jin, clicking her tongue behind him, came closer and dug her fingers into Eun-ha’s side as if pinching him.
“You, when you come, you should contact your mom and let her know.”
“But you always said it was enough just to come.”
“Even so. You should at least say hello and show your face politely next to your mom. Hmm? How many times have you been to events like this? Being my only son…”
“I have a Noona too, you know.”
“Is that even something to say? Eunseo is in Canada right now! I miss her the most.”
Raising her voice slightly, Yeo-jin momentarily revealed her longing for her daughter living abroad. Eun-ha sighed lightly and turned around. His throat felt tight.
As he started walking towards the exit of the exhibition hall, Yeo-jin immediately followed behind him.
“Where are you going?”
“To smoke.”
“…I wish you’d quit that smoking.”
Nagging. Nagging… It’s not like I’m one or two years old. Eun-ha was soon immersed in a feeling as if his head was covered in scribbles. He knew it was all out of concern, but as someone who easily gets stressed by interference, dealing with Mom was still a difficult task.
He went outside. While heading to the smoking area as directed, Yeo-jin followed alongside him as if she was going with him. Before he knew it, she had affectionately linked arms with him.
After briefly asking about his recent activities, she said as if she had suddenly remembered something.
“By the way, did you see?”
“See what?”
“Those guys around your age. The ones who attended with their virtuous and kind girlfriends.”
“…So what about them?”
“Oh, it’s nothing, just… It looked nice to see young people holding hands and linking arms affectionately. To Mom, it did.”
Eun-ha entered the smoking area without saying anything. Perhaps because attention was paid to aesthetics, he had to come quite far into a secluded spot. As he took out his cigarette case and lighter, Yeo-jin clapped her hands as if she had remembered something else.
“Oh, right, Seung-jae, you know? One year older than you. The eldest grandson of Songhwa Corporation. They say he’s going to marry the young lady he came with today. They’ve already booked the wedding hall.”
“……”
“That’s right! Sujin. Your friend Sujin is getting married soon too, isn’t she?”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Do you really not know?”
The hand that struck his arm was stinging.
“Don’t you have anyone? You son of a bitch.”
Her voice was strained through clenched teeth. Eun-ha ignored her and lit his cigarette. As he deeply inhaled the filter and exhaled the smoke, Yeo-jin turned her head away and waved her hand elegantly.
“Ugh, Eun-ha! The smell of cigarettes.”
“Then why did you follow me all the way here? Go back inside.”
“I can only say these things in a place like this.”
“What’s so special about these words…”
“You.”
Yeo-jin, who had only been throwing roundabout topics, suddenly looked straight at Eun-ha.
With a face full of unspoken words. She glared at him with intensity, then bit her lip tightly.
“…Are you still living like that, Eun-ha…”
“Living like what?”
“Are you still doing that… gay… thing…!”
When he didn’t answer, Yeo-jin, her eyes instantly turning daggers, slapped Eun-ha’s arm repeatedly.
“What are you going to do, really? Really!”
“Ah, Mom, stop it. It hurts.”
“That’s what I want to say. Me! It hurts me more. Just thinking about you makes my heart feel like it’s tearing apart. Do you understand?”
She pounded her chest as if she was about to burst. Eun-ha’s pupils emptied emptily, as if he was fed up. Seeing that she showed no signs of backing down despite how much she hated the smell, he put out his cigarette. He wished he could plug his ears with earplugs.
“What are you really going to do?”
“What am I going to do? Aren’t you tired of this? Nothing changes, but you say the same things every time.”
“I am tired. I’m so tired I’m going crazy! But does that mean I let go? Do I give up? As a mother?”
“Why can’t you?”
Father had long given up. He was a son who had already been abandoned by the family long ago. He had heard the words “disgrace to the family,” had been subjected to contempt that genuinely wished to disown him, and had been beaten to the point of near death.
Only Mom couldn’t let go of her attachment and kept nagging Eun-ha. She looked for blind dates, and when a plausible event was scheduled, she would force him to attend, and if he didn’t listen, she would use his friends as leverage to make things difficult for him…
When he forcibly attended, she would take Eun-ha around, busily showing their faces here and there. She made sure that her son, who was doing well after graduating from university in Korea and had been quiet without any particular news, was seen by people as living a decent life without any problems. As if to widely publicize that Lee Seung-hak and Kang Yeo-jin’s son was actually doing well.
“How can I do that? How can I give up! He’s not just anyone, he’s my son. My child that I gave birth to in pain.”
“……”
“How can I abandon you…”
Her voice, gradually becoming tearful, made him uncomfortable. Eun-ha turned his gaze to the distance. When Father, with a face flushed red with blood, beat and trampled on him like he was catching a rat, Yeo-jin would hit his back, bite his arms, and throw her whole body to protect Eun-ha, as if he was not her husband but her mortal enemy. She would scream that she didn’t want to have to bury her own child, and cry as if she was going out of her mind…
The intense moments were etched in his mind like scars. Eun-ha looked down at Mom, reflecting on the events of that time.
Does it still upset her that much?
Can’t she let go of me…?
He felt a brief moment of pity, but soon he was indifferent again.