By Zephyria 
A description, stained with moisture, followed. He said that he was slumped over and asleep throughout the screening, so he thought he must have been very tired, but he didn’t seem to wake up even after the movie ended. He said that even when he called and grabbed him, he just kept drooping. He said that’s when his mind went blank…
It was a tired, cracked voice. Eun-ha listened blankly to Yeon-jun’s voice as he washed his face dryly, as if to suppress his emotions. He could roughly picture what the situation was like. It seemed that when his fatigue reached its peak and the tension was released, he couldn’t control himself for a moment and fell into a deep sleep.
So that’s why he couldn’t wake up. Eun-ha, who had calmly grasped the situation, spat out a dry self-mockery.
He thought he had shown him all sorts of unsightly behavior.
He didn’t know what kind of disgrace it was to be watching a movie and then suddenly do this. How absurd and embarrassing the unexpected situation must have been. The emergency room, of all places.
However, Yeon-jun seemed only to be taking a breather. His face had a pale light, and the whites of his eyes were bloodshot, making him look more sensitive than usual.
Of course, he must have been surprised. A person who had been fine suddenly couldn’t wake up. He might have even been shocked.
He felt uncomfortable thinking that he had caused a stir over nothing. He had caused unnecessary concern. Eun-ha tried to look as nonchalant as possible.
“Were you surprised?”
“I was so surprised…”
“It’s okay. It’s nothing.”
“What’s okay? How is this nothing?”
Eun-ha, who had paused at the firm denial that came back to his casual remark, looked at Yeon-jun. He was meeting his gaze quietly, his eyes somewhat lukewarm.
His lips stiffened awkwardly at his unexpected reaction, which was different from usual. Soon, as if to hide his embarrassment, he raised the corners of his lips.
“…Why are you like that when I’m the one who’s okay?”
“I’m like this because I’m not okay.”
“……”
“You should have said something if you weren’t feeling well, Hyung. You shouldn’t have come to see a movie.”
It was a neat voice. A clear voice, as if that was the only right answer.
“How can Hyung be okay when I’m not okay? It’s Hyung’s body.”
At those words that seemed to be picking a fight, a chill rose from within for some unknown reason. As if a rejection was occurring.
Eun-ha stared silently at Yeon-jun, who was only saying the right things, and unknowingly chewed on his thoughts. Why do you care when I’m the one who’s okay…?
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
“Because it wasn’t a matter worth mentioning.”
“Hyung’s condition right now…”
“-I was tired, that’s true. So I just slept a little deeply. I know what you mean, Yeon-jun-ah.”
“……”
“It’s not something to take so seriously. It’s nothing…”
“This isn’t serious?”
“Yes.”
Eun-ha, who had replied indifferently, paused to choose his words.
“I’m sorry I surprised you.”
“……Sorry?”
Yeon-jun frowned. As if he had heard something difficult to understand. Eun-ha, who also couldn’t understand why he was reacting like that when he was apologizing, wore an even more subdued expression.
A moment of silence passed. In the silence that seemed unlikely to break easily, Yeon-jun, who had let out a slow sigh, opened his mouth first, as if giving in.
“Hyung didn’t just fall asleep, but his blood sugar dropped due to fatigue, and he lost consciousness. If you want to be precise, he fainted. That’s why he couldn’t wake up.”
“……”
“His condition was so bad that he continued to be like that even after being moved here.”
“……”
“For several hours.”
Eun-ha turned his gaze away without a word at the calmly continuing explanation. Because it was a difficult feeling to endure. He needlessly grabbed and gnawed at the blanket covering his legs with his hands. His nerves kept crawling.
“Hyung.”
“……”
“This can’t be okay.”
“……”
“You haven’t been sleeping well lately, have you?”
He hadn’t been sleeping well, and even the sleep he did get was in a messed-up pattern. Two hours. One hour… He would barely get any sleep in the early morning and then take a nap in the afternoon, or he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep at all.
He didn’t have an appetite, so he often skipped meals. Instead, he had coffee and desserts that were easy to eat. Every single one was an unremarkable daily occurrence. It wasn’t a big deal, and there was nothing wrong with it.
But Eun-ha knew that it hadn’t acted as a problem simply because he himself hadn’t considered it a problem.
That’s why he felt so prickly.
Because he actually knew that it wasn’t normal. Because he was aware in a corner of his mind that he himself, who didn’t feel any sense of crisis even though he knew it wasn’t normal, was somehow twisted.
Because that’s a story that wouldn’t be pleasant for anyone. Because it wouldn’t give them a comfortable feeling. Because it would only plant uncomfortable and dark sentiments.
Eun-ha hated that. He hated becoming heavy. Especially if the topic was himself.
He didn’t want them to look deeply into it, and he didn’t want them to judge him.
Because he felt like a burden.
He didn’t know how the situation had turned out like this when it had only been a short time since he had thought that meeting new people was enjoyable because he didn’t have to do that.
“…It’s none of your business.”
He said, gathering his last bit of patience. Please. That was the sentence he omitted. In the midst of that, something suddenly came into his view clearly.
His sleeves were rolled up, revealing the IV needle inserted into his arm. The inside of his upper arm clearly showed several thin scratches. He had undergone scar removal surgery several times at Gu Hae-bin’s suggestion, but it was the remnants of the past that he hadn’t been able to completely erase. They were only faintly visible, so they were hardly noticeable in dark places, but they immediately stood out in such a bright place. Because of this, Eun-ha didn’t wear short-sleeved clothes when he went out even in the middle of summer.
Self-harm. It wouldn’t look normal to anyone.
…Did he see it? He didn’t know. However, he became unbearably unpleasant and his head became hot. His reason went astray in an instant as if a thread had snapped, and an indescribable shame rose along the skin of his arms. It wasn’t the first time he had shown his scars to someone else.
Why. Why touch someone else’s arm without permission. No, he knew that it couldn’t be helped if they were going to treat him, but…
Eun-ha, who was somewhat flustered, swept down his arm and pulled out the IV needle with a snap. Yeon-jun rose from his seat at the sudden action. Eun-ha got off on the opposite side of him and pulled his sleeves down to his palms. He grabbed the cardigan that was placed in a nearby drawer.
“What’s wrong all of a sudden…”
“Now that I’m awake, I should go. Home.”
“Even so, pulling out the needle like that-”
“How did you come here? I drove my car to the movie theater.”
“Hyung.”
“Yeon-jun-ah.”
“Hyung.”
“……”
Eun-ha, who was pulling the cardigan up to his shoulders, stopped abruptly. Because Yeon-jun, who had circled around the bed, snatched his wrist.
“Calm down. I understand.”
An unknown annoyance surged at his calm tone. Eun-ha, who had raised his head, stared at Yeon-jun with bloodshot eyes. What do you understand? What are you telling me to calm down about? I’m fine, I’m okay. I’m already calm enough. Don’t be so fussy. Who are you? Why do you keep…
“……”
The thoughts that had been shaking his head like a storm stopped all at once. He had cut them off. Eun-ha, who had regained control of his unstable emotions, turned his head to the opposite side. He was acting oversensitive. He was being unnecessarily fussy. There was no need to do this.