By Zephyria 
He hadn’t shown even a strand of hair for weeks after that.
“……Back then, I thought I should just quit while I was ahead, so I didn’t go looking for Hyung.”
“……”
“Because Hyung kept showing that he didn’t like it. It was so obvious. I didn’t think there was any point in continuing. I thought I looked pathetic. I do like Hyung, but.”
“……”
“……Honestly, it’s not like I was going to die because I liked him or anything like that.”
At the end of the voice that declared that even he didn’t have deep feelings from the start, there was a weak laugh. As if he thought it was a very ridiculous thing.
“But.”
He missed Hyung after not seeing him for a few days. He thought he would forget if he didn’t see him, but instead, he ended up thinking about Hyung all day long… He went to a place he didn’t particularly like or had ever been to, thinking he would see him one last time and then think about it again. But he ended up drinking all the alcohol he could get, and it was so hard, he wanted to go home right away, but he felt better after finding Hyung.
He was gradually accepting Yeon-jun’s image, who was continuing to speak in a slightly choked voice, as it became more and more blurred. In an instant, a feeling of air rushing into his lungs and a clanging sensation washed over him. Ah.
‘……I like Hyung.’
Why did he have to think of that now?
“So, I’m just……”
‘I really like him so much… I don’t know what to do… I don’t know.’
‘Calm down first. Eun-ha.’
‘Hy, Hyung, please… do something… Heu.’
It was an unwelcome auditory hallucination. Something he never wanted at all.
“……I just wanted to talk for a while since it’s been a while, but Hyung is suddenly coaxing and threatening people……”
“……Threatening?”
“You said you’d grab Anyone and have sex if I didn’t sleep with you.”
“……”
“……That sounded so bad. I guess it was a spur-of-the-moment thing… But it’s not like I asked you to do it first… You, Hyung, kissed me first. I was really drunk. I was so drunk. Hyung did that while I didn’t know what was going on……”
His voice became hoarse, as if he was getting more and more upset as he thought about it. In short, it meant that it was really not his fault at all. But how could he be so cold to him again?
Eun-ha, who was staring at Yeon-jun’s reddened eyes as he was complaining, thought that he might cry.
Just like his past self, who liked him so much, didn’t know what to do, and just pushed his feelings without thinking, and ended up crying pathetically because he was overwhelmed.
“But Hyung……, you only say you’re sorry. But your expression says you understand and want me to leave. What’s all that? Really……”
“……”
“And it’s funny that you keep saying you’re sorry. Even if it was because of alcohol, it wasn’t forced. Even if it was because of alcohol, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t Hyung. What do you mean by forced…… I actually liked it a lot.”
“……Yeon-jun-ah?”
“So, I didn’t let Hyung go, and that’s why Hyung’s body is in that condition now, but you’re telling me not to worry…… Why can’t I even worry? Why do you keep talking like you’re a criminal who raped a child who doesn’t know anything?”
“……”
“I know what you’re thinking. But…… if it ends like this, I’m just going to be used and thrown away.”
“……”
“Isn’t that too much?”
At the end, a snorting breath burst out. The incessant voices were like a bombardment. Eun-ha, who felt dazed as if the corners of his soul were being shaken off because he was being poked at all the loopholes, remained silent. Because he couldn’t find anything to refute.
No. Maybe it was just because he couldn’t speak. Because he couldn’t easily utter any words.
Because he happened to overlap with himself.
It was when he was subtly stretching his lips with a subtly subdued expression.
Whew. A cheerful whistle, out of place with the situation, was heard softly. It was a sound that loosened and ventilated the sharply tightened air current.
Eun-ha reflexively turned his head and was immediately able to spot a familiar figure.
Gu Hae-bin was seen approaching from afar, dangling his car keys, as if he had parked his car in the alley. At the same time, he remembered the forgotten promise. He was supposed to come here to return his wallet.
Why now…… Eun-ha, remembering who he was with, looked back at Yeon-jun with embarrassment, but as soon as he did, he had to widen his eyes as he stiffened.
Because Yeon-jun, who had been looking back and forth between Gu Hae-bin, who would be visible behind his shoulder, and himself with moist eyes, quickly clouded his face in an instant.
“Really……”
He mumbled and put strength on his lower lip sadly. As if something had burst and risen from inside, tears quickly welled up in his eyes. Eun-ha had to hold his breath as the rapidly forming water barrier formed. He thought he was going to cry, but he didn’t think he would really make such a crying face.
While he was gaping in confusion, Gu Hae-bin quickly approached.
“Huh?”
Eun-ha watched as his friend, who had approached without much thought, uttered a single word as if he was puzzled, and then put his hands in his pockets and leaned his upper body. That is, towards the front of him, not him. As if he had seen an unexpected person.
“Do you two know each other?”
“……How do you know him?”
“Didn’t you come to the party yesterday? You know me, right? We said hello yesterday.”
It was easy to find the connection. He said he drank whatever they gave him at that mansion yesterday.
Yeon-jun, who only glanced at Gu Hae-bin, who was pretending to know him, turned his eyes back to Eun-ha. It was a very obvious look. Eun-ha was about to push Gu Hae-bin away because the silent, sulky gaze felt like he was protesting, asking what this man was and to get rid of him quickly.
“More than that, what’s wrong with him?”
Gu Hae-bin said that first and acted as if he was going to participate in the conversation in earnest without hesitation. He was a guy who wasn’t shy about joining unfamiliar places in the first place. Furthermore, he was almost always not shy.
Eun-ha knew that his reckless and unrefined personality often made others uncomfortable, so he took a step. He half-intervened between Gu Hae-bin and Yeon-jun. As if to cut off interest early on. It wasn’t very useful, though.
“Go over there for a minute.”
“Why? What did you say to make his eyes like that? Huh?”
“Why are you doing this…… Won’t you go away?”
“Ah, scary. Just by looking at it, Lee Eun-ha bullied him. Right? Huh? What did he say?”
“Come on. Go away, you crazy bastard…… Why are you suddenly butting in?”
“Look at the way you talk to your savior.”
Savior my ass. He roughly estimated and knew that he was trying to play a prank on purpose because it looked like a fun situation. Eun-ha, who had redefined Yeon-jun from a trashy slut to a nice twenty-year-old college student in a day, acted as if he was protecting him from his old friend. Because of that, there was a brief scuffle.
Can’t you see we’re talking? I can see it, so what. Just include me. I came as a guest too. Are you kidding me…? I’m kidding. You crazy bastard.
“Come on! Go away. Don’t bully him.”
“Unbelievable. What do you mean by bullying, me?”
After exerting all his strength and raising his voice, he was barely able to chase him away. Eun-ha, who was annoyedly glaring at Gu Hae-bin’s back as he shrugged and retreated far away, belatedly wore a troubled expression as if to make amends.
Yeon-jun, who he looked at again, had already roughly cleaned up the tears, but the edges of his whites were bright red.
And he had a very sulky expression.
Haa…… A sigh flowed out on its own.