#206

Cullen blinked. He had always given to Kiyen, and the act itself always brought Cullen joy. Even if Kiyen didn’t accept it, the very thought that he might be able to make him smile someday brought him pleasure.

But now, seeing Kiyen wanting to do something for him…

A joy different from then, incomparable, flickered. He felt shy and ticklish. It was more so because it was the first time someone was trying to do something for him. He certainly had precious people, and they had given him overflowing love, but it was different from this.

“It is beautiful enough.”

He liked the fact that Kiyen wanted to show this scene only to him. He liked the feeling of being cherished, the feeling that he was prioritized by Kiyen.

Not just today, but every action Kiyen had shown over the past few days had gradually melted his heart. Spreading a blanket for him on the bare ground, gathering leaves with magic to cushion the earth, or making sure he got his share of the rationed food first – all of it felt like looking at his past self.

It meant that he, too, seemed to be sincere now, just as Cullen had been sincere towards him.

“You don’t seem to like flowers that much, do you?”

Kiyen said this while observing Cullen’s quiet words. Despite his words, he seemed pleased that Cullen liked it, his eyes curving slightly more than before.

“Still, this is beautiful.”

“Do you like it?”

“Yes. It’s like a miracle.”

As Kiyen said, Cullen wasn’t particularly interested in flowers or plants. Unless they were for first aid or edible, he didn’t pay much attention. It was only after meeting Kiyen that he had the leisure to appreciate beautiful flowers.

Still, this flower caught his eye. It was a different feeling from when he discovered the Kiercharus Flowers. It was even more so because he thought Kiyen had noticed it for his sake. Looking at the fluttering petals rising from the cracked earth, something overlapped.

Kiyen said it was like him, but Cullen felt it was like their relationship. Although it was uncertain how things would turn out, it felt like their relationship, which seemed dry, cracked, and beyond repair, was gradually improving.

“After I finally made you cry, I regretted not asking you sooner what you liked.”

At the word “miracle,” Kiyen slowly straightened up and looked down at him.

“I wanted to find a way to make you happy, but I hated not knowing how.”

Kiyen’s voice sounded genuinely bitter, so Cullen quickly replied.

“I don’t have many things I like.”

Nothing came to mind immediately. He had lived his life without even having time to cultivate such things.

“Still, you must have at least one.”

“If you’re asking, I do tend to like animals.”

Cullen thought of Roach. Along with Gale, recalling them was always one of his painful memories, but at Kiyen’s question, his dog suddenly came to mind. It was a mixture of pain, bitterness, and longing. It wasn’t pure suffering.

“I didn’t know that. Animals dislike you, so I thought you disliked them too.”

Seeing Kiyen speak seriously, Cullen inwardly smiled faintly, just like before. Kiyen, who spoke so casually, felt like a cat this time.

At that moment, their eyes met. He could see his reflection in Kiyen’s sparkling blue-gold eyes. Seeing him clearly smiling, Kiyen opened his mouth.

“Did I… make you happy?”

With a whisper full of longing, Cullen slowly nodded.

“Yes.”

Then, Kiyen’s face lit up with a smile far more lovely than before. His soft golden-brown eyebrows curved, and the corners of his eyes crinkled. His pink lips formed a beautiful arc.

“What did I do?”

Kiyen asked with genuine joy. To him, who asked with impatience, Cullen replied softly.

“Among the few things I like, the one I liked the most was….”

He raised his head and looked directly at Kiyen.

“Your smile. I even did unnecessary things to see it. Though the results were never good…”

“No, no.”

At Cullen’s words, Kiyen hastily grabbed his arm.

It was the first time he had seen Kiyen flustered, so Cullen looked at him with wide eyes. Then, with an “Ah” sound, he let go of his hand. Again. He tried to touch him, then withdrew.

“I’m sorry if it was unpleasant. I was trying to touch you—”

To Kiyen, who was trying to pull back hastily, Cullen finally blurted out what he had been thinking.

“It’s okay to touch me.”

Cullen’s words echoed across the vast plain. Kiyen’s golden eyelashes blinked. His eyes, looking surprised, stared at Cullen, then slowly moved. His long eyelashes curled.

“……Are you serious?”

Having said that, Kiyen asked again.

“You’re not displeased if I touch you?”

He shook his head. He had never been displeased by Kiyen’s touch before. He had only thought they shouldn’t get too close.

“Because I love you, I asked you not to touch me, as I wanted to touch you. I thought I could no longer love you as I did before, and loving someone like that would only bring you pain.”

Kiyen, who had been listening quietly, twitched his hand as Cullen finished speaking. He bit his beautiful lips as if contemplating something, then hesitantly asked.

“Does that mean it’s not the case now?”

At his question, filled with hope, Cullen paused. Kiyen asked again.

“If you say that, I’m foolish and will misunderstand.”

Hesitantly, he slowly reached out and grasped Cullen’s clothes. With a gentle, weak touch, he whispered. Bending down, he met Cullen’s eyes. Cullen gazed, mesmerized, at the face of the Dragon who was pleading.

“That you want to be by my side.”

The last words echoed gently and spread through Cullen’s heart. Come to think of it, it was true. Allowing him to touch him was ultimately equivalent to speaking of progress in their relationship. It was heading towards the destination they had once approached in different ways.

Kiyen was asking about that.

“I…”

Cullen thought carefully. From smiling at Kiyen to the feelings he felt whenever Kiyen came close and then withdrew, it was something he was clearly familiar with.

He couldn’t embrace him and kiss him as if nothing had happened right away, but he wanted to go further with Kiyen. He couldn’t even imagine a life without him by his side, so it was perhaps a natural progression.

Yet, what made Cullen hesitate now was not the lingering wounds or resentment in his heart, but another reason. A crucial issue he had ignored had surfaced.

Cullen could love Kiyen without reservation because of his immortality. Even if Kiyen had been a mortal, a being who would die, Cullen might have continued to force himself to close his heart.

Hadn’t he sworn?

Never again, never again would he lose someone he loved.

Cullen had already experienced Kiyen being on the brink of death. Even when he thought his feelings hadn’t fully returned, the despair that had clawed at him was terrible. It was like falling into an abyss, making rational judgment impossible. He had simply frozen, like his helpless younger self.

“I am afraid of losing someone precious. The beings I loved always died before their time. There were no exceptions, like a curse that follows me.”

Cullen’s words finished, Kiyen fell into thought for a moment. A silence, broken only by the sound of the gentle wind, lasted for a few seconds before Kiyen spoke.

“I don’t want to admit it, but Ulli said she is someone precious to you. And now she is by your side.”

That was true. But… Ulli and Kiyen were precious to him in different ways. If Ulli were to die, he would surely crumble. Just like the moment Arne died, the last bit of strength that supported him would be depleted.

However, Kiyen’s death was beyond imagination. Even after witnessing the moment he nearly crossed the river of death, Kiyen’s death still felt like something that must not happen.

“And you now possess another power. The goddess’s power, which was merely meaningless immortality to me, has become a power that gives life when it is with you.”

As Kiyen spoke of his divine power, his stiffened body relaxed with a jolt. The power he spoke of, a power he used every day yet still didn’t feel like his own, was being discussed.

“So, as long as you are here, as long as you wish it, I will not leave you first. That remains the same.”

“But neither you nor I know how long we can live.”

Although the High Priest’s lifespan was long, no one knew the years they would live. The same was true for Kiyen’s remaining time. In a situation where things that were once clear had become uncertain, Cullen hesitated.

“That is not something to think about right now. All I am asking is what you are thinking right now, and nothing else.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Though he thought Kiyen was right, Cullen could not cross the line right in front of him. He stopped before the fear of death that had followed him his entire life.

Kiyen said no more. Instead of urging him, he looked at Cullen’s face for a long time and nodded slowly.

“I didn’t mean to rush you, so it’s alright.”

Kiyen smiled faintly.

“I said I would wait for you, so I will continue to wait. Touching you…”

Kiyen took a small step back.

“Later, when you want me. I’ll postpone it until then.”

As the close distance suddenly widened, a fleeting sense of regret brushed past him. His body moved before he knew it.

The moment he tried to step forward as much as Kiyen had retreated, Kiyen’s pupils narrowed into slits. His gaze, fixed on Cullen, shifted sideways, and he clenched his jaw.

“Someone is coming.”

Cullen stopped his advancing step and turned his eyes to where Kiyen was looking. On the gray ground, which had grown dim as the sun began to set, nothing was visible.

“There are several. Judging by how fast they’re running, the situation doesn’t look good.”

“Are there Demonic Beasts?”

At that question, Kiyen fell silent for a moment. His eyes shone fiercely like a beast’s, and then he spoke heavily.

“Not yet, but soon… we will encounter them.”

As soon as Kiyen’s words ended, dust could be seen rising on the gray plain. Cullen, observing Kiyen’s suddenly serious face, soon spotted riders approaching through the dust.

The blurry figures quickly drew nearer, becoming clearer. Cullen, observing the front, slowly widened his eyes.

The person running at the very front was Kihelene, her hair tied up high.