#192

To the question of whether he was himself, Cullen calmly gazed at Ulli.

It was understandable that she might feel that way due to the Golden Seal placed upon him, but the person Cullen was had not changed much from before. His identity was singular.

He had never been good at making his loved ones happy or protecting them. His usefulness was likely similar to before, and he had never been one to express his emotions richly.

“Is there any reason for someone to impersonate me? I don’t know why you would think that, but I am the person you knew.”

Ulli’s eyes widened at his dry response.

“You’re acting just like when we first met.”

Memories buried in the sand slowly surfaced. Meeting Ulli while wandering alone, confessing his feelings to Kiyen, the past when they were all together flashed by. It was also a time when the heat that always tormented Cullen felt bearable for the first time.

A dull ache pressed heavily on his chest. The longing, as heavy as Kiyen on his back, tried to surface. But Cullen did not want to easily admit that feeling. He wanted to stop stirring up his carefully controlled emotions.

Due to his recent agitation, Cullen had almost failed to protect Kiyen properly. If he had been a little more rational, he would have taken him down and healed him with divine power beforehand, instead of putting him in greater danger.

The fact that he only thought of trying that after Lasano spoke made him acutely aware of how foolish he had been.

Fatigue washed over him. Guilt and self-reproach weighed down his heart. Cullen repeated what he told himself every day, to the point of tedium.

He didn’t want to be hurt by being swayed by emotions anymore. Wasn’t that why he had come this far?

“Even after that, I was this kind of person.”

As Cullen silently denied it, Ulli also shook her head resolutely.

“No. You’re different. You knew how to smile. Even if it wasn’t obvious, you didn’t hide your emotions.”

At the mention of knowing how to smile, the Young Dragons who had been quietly following him all turned to look at Cullen. White tilted his head and asked Cullen.

“Cullen, can you smile?”

Ulli scowled at the surprised tone, as if questioning if that was even possible.

“See, the fact that you’re asking this kind of question now is unlike you!”

As Ulli spoke with conviction, even Cat, who had been watching with wary eyes, looked at her curiously. Ulli then met Cat’s eyes and asked.

“What are your names?”

Cat pursed her lips, still wary of her. Meanwhile, White spoke first.

“This is Black, and I am White. This is Cat.”

Ulli blinked upon hearing the names. She asked again, as if she couldn’t believe what she had heard.

“That’s your name?”

“Yes.”

Black replied silently, as if Ulli’s question was strange. Ulli looked horrified and exclaimed to Lasano.

“You let them name them like this?!”

Lasano shrugged and expressed his regret.

“Unfortunately, by the time I appeared, everything had already happened.”

“What’s wrong with Cat! I like Cat!”

Cat retorted sharply to the surprised Ulli and clung to Cullen’s leg. Then, she declared proudly.

“Cullen gave it to me!”

“Kiyen’s name is nice too,” White said softly. Cat tilted her golden eyes coyly and denied it.

“I don’t like it!”

Ulli, watching the children converse, rubbed her chin and turned her gaze back to Cullen. Her expression held a mixture of relief and worry. Sigh, Ulli let out a deep breath and shook her head.

“I don’t know. It might not be as serious as I thought, but…”

She ran a hand through her hair and turned her body. Then, she gestured forward with her chin.

“Let’s talk after we rest.”

Cullen followed her gaze in the direction she indicated.

Beyond the fully risen sun, a place where people bustled and gathered gradually came into view. Temporary tents had taken shape, and mercenaries with weapons could be seen coming and going.

Steam rose between the tents. The smell of food wafted faintly from afar.

In the peaceful scene, which made the events of just moments ago feel distant, Cullen nodded.

Ulli said the wagons and carriages were here. Following her suggestion to lay Kiyen down in a tent for a while, rest, and then prepare to depart, the group turned.

The Young Dragons, curious about the many humans they were seeing for the first time, looked around with sharp eyes. They stayed close to Cullen’s side.

Conversely, all eyes turned to Cullen and the Dragons who had appeared with Ulli. Especially the Young Dragons, with their rare and beautiful appearances and prominent, membrane-like wings, drew everyone’s gaze. It was a look mixed with wariness and curiosity.

Ulli pushed away people who tried to approach her, saying they would talk later, and led the group to an empty tent. Lasano, looking around as he followed, asked Ulli.

“I didn’t see this place when I passed through before, did you establish it, Ulli?”

“It was Kihelene and Junon more than me. I’m better at fighting than this. Kihelene gathered people, and Junon decided on the locations.”

At the names Kihelene and Junon, Cullen was reminded that he had many questions for Ulli.

“Are you traveling with Zarkas?”

He asked the most important question first. While Kihelene was one thing, Junon’s name coming from Ulli was surprising.

To Cullen’s question, Ulli exchanged glances with Lasano. Her expression still held the resentment from earlier, but she cautiously answered Cullen’s question.

“Yes. Junon saved my life. After Arne… became like that, I almost died too.”

At the mention of Arne’s name, Lasano closed his mouth. A fleeting despair crossed his shadowed face, but it soon vanished.

Cullen also felt his body grow heavy. Facing the past, Arne’s absence felt overwhelming. Memories of him, which he had forcibly suppressed, suddenly surged forth.

“Cullen!”

The comfort given by the large priest, who used to help with difficult tasks with a bright smile and would tear up and be at a loss when he saw someone pitiful, touched his heart. Cullen squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again, his eyes starting to burn.

It’s okay. It’s a feeling that will pass.

Suppressing the pain that threatened to spread like blood, Cullen asked again.

“Even so, there’s no need to travel together. Saving your life is one thing, but Zarkas is the cause of this current situation.”

“But not everyone is bad. I believe I can give a chance to those who truly realize their mistakes and try to change. And indeed, Junon… is doing so.”

Ulli said this while looking at Lasano. It seemed to apply to him as well.

“But that doesn’t erase what they’ve done. The lives of the innocent Junon killed are countless…”

Cullen looked at Lasano calmly and tightened his grip on the arm carrying Kiyen.

“The people you killed by Lasano’s choice are also countless.”

Lasano remained silent throughout. Like a sinner who has no words, he was quiet. Ulli, after hearing Cullen’s words, pointed out with a troubled expression.

“See, this is unlike you. What you’re saying now…”

Ulli’s gaze shifted to Kiyen on Cullen’s back.

“It’s just like what the Dragon used to say. Excessively rational and devoid of emotion.”

At Ulli’s remark, Cullen blinked. Kiyen, who had confessed his love and clung to him, flashed in his mind. It was then that Cullen thought he finally understood Kiyen, and realized his own emotions were not rational.

“Is that a problem?”

To Cullen’s question, Ulli bit her lip. Hesitating, she asked Cullen a question instead of saying more.

“By thinking that way, have you found peace?”

To Ulli’s question, asked with genuine curiosity, Cullen was about to say, of course, yes. But for some inexplicable reason, it was difficult to give such a simple answer.

“If you are at peace, then that’s all that matters. But Cullen, it was Junon who made it possible for you and me to keep our promise. You, you promised me, didn’t you? To meet alive.”

The forgotten promise settled on Cullen’s shoulders like a great weight.

“That promise meant a great deal to me, and Junon helped me with that. Because you are a precious friend and colleague to me, and he made sure I didn’t break that promise with you.”

Ulli looked resentful yet sad, and then lowered her head for a moment. As an uncomfortable silence descended, she changed the subject.

“I just wanted to say that not all situations can be judged in a single dimension. Anyway, rest for now. I’ll prepare bathwater and food.”

Saying that, Ulli gestured to Lasano. Lasano, who had been silent throughout the conversation, followed Ulli and gave a slight bow towards Cullen.

In his fleeting expression, a hint of young pain was visible. Only then did Cullen realize that what he had said might have touched Lasano’s guilt.

Then, he felt uncomfortable.

But at the same time, he thought it wasn’t wrong. As two conflicting thoughts clashed, Lasano and Ulli moved away. Watching their fading figures, Cullen closed his eyes tightly.

He was confused.