#164

The moment he realized that obvious yet unfamiliar fact, the Dragon encountered an unknown sensation. His entire body felt crushed, as if sinking. Nothing was pressing down on him, yet it was a deep, dark emotion so profound that it wouldn’t be strange if he collapsed then and there.

The depths of his being ached. It felt as if someone was squeezing his heart, encased in thick veins distinctly different from a human’s.

The Dragon’s pupils narrowed into slits. The sensation, the first he had ever experienced, made him tense. Bewildered, he looked down at his own upper body. However, there were no visible changes. Only his chest heaved roughly.

Why is this happening?

The Dragon was genuinely engulfed in confusion. His pupils, narrowing and widening with anxiety, scanned his surroundings before stopping at the human in his arms. Unconsciously, he held the human tightly. The lifeless body was visibly losing its vitality.

This is it.

Finally, the Dragon concluded. The cause of the strange emotions that had been churning within him since the Imperial Palace must be the human. He had thought it was the place, but it wasn’t. Ever since the human died, his insides had been shattering and breaking apart. Unable to define this emotion, the Dragon burst out of the cabin.

He stepped onto the snow-covered earth with bare feet. Surveying his surroundings with rough movements, he walked aimlessly somewhere.

Unlike the cabin, which had fortunately maintained its form, the countless trees of the mountain range were bare and black. While pushing through the ruins that resembled ashes, he discovered a place where round mounds were gathered. The Dragon stopped before it.

The cold wind ruffled his hair. The smell of burnt wood stung his nostrils. Amidst his chaotic mind, the Dragon managed to organize his thoughts.

This maddening emotion, it must be because of a past memory. The human had urged him like other Larkans, yet was the only one who had set him free. The first time they kissed and mingled bodies…

He was the only one he had considered giving his name to.

Of course, that time was barely a day in the Dragon’s life, a short span, but during that brief moment, the human had done countless things. Holding him, laughing, pleading, trying in every way to see him happy.

Ultimately failing, but acting that way.

The Dragon’s hands trembled under the overwhelming weight of memories. He kept feeling like he had lost something important. Something very important that he had never possessed. But he couldn’t figure out what it was.

The Dragon, steadying his trembling hands, came to a conclusion. He would show the human at least a modicum of respect.

Regardless of whether the human had abandoned him, he had clearly given the Dragon something. He deserved this much treatment.

The Dragon looked at the land lined with mounds. Gazing at the space that had become a wasteland, with grass and trees burnt away, he recalled human customs. They buried the dead together. The human in his arms had done the same in the Exion Territory.

The Dragon moved to a spot a little distance from the mounds. The human had been tall, so being buried among those small mounds wouldn’t suit him. He needed a larger, more comfortable space. Settling into place, the Dragon slowly began to lower his upper body. He tried to lower it. But he couldn’t. His body froze.

He hesitated for a long time, unable to perform the simple action of just setting him down. He was on the verge of going mad. Now that nothing was restraining him, he was enraged by the feeling of his body not obeying.

He forced his body to move. The thought that he didn’t want to set the human down crossed his mind, but he ignored it. Barely managing to place the body on the ground, the Dragon knelt. Sitting on the cold ground, he placed his hands on the earth.

“It’s cold if you stay like that.”

A hallucination flashed through his mind. It was what the human had said in early spring, when the winter was fading, spreading a blanket for him as he sat on the ground.

“I’ll cover you with a blanket.”

The low voice, imbued with kindness, echoed in his ears. Without giving him time to stop it, memories overwhelmed him. The calm face looking up at him as he made a bed for him, the hands that wiped the sand off his feet, the lowered eyelashes as he put on his shoes—they choked him, filling him up.

The Dragon exhaled ragged breaths. Trembling as if having a seizure, he dug at the dirt with his hands. Following his will, the earth began to move. With a rumbling sound, the earth collapsed. A vast pit, large enough to bury the human’s body deep, slowly formed.

The human lay quietly in the center of the deep hole. The Dragon stepped back, retreating from him. He didn’t want to feel the sensation of his heart’s veins being torn with every memory that surfaced. It was strange and unpleasant. He was angry. It was full of emotions he couldn’t pinpoint.

The Dragon, retreating with his blood- and dirt-stained robe billowing, fixed his gaze forward. If he buried it all, then these chaotic memories would all disappear.

It’s only been a year. No, not even a year. These memories, occupying a tiny fraction of his long life, would be buried with the earth.

The Dragon decided, as if fleeing from something. A single gesture would end it. If he covered it with earth, it would all disappear. The confusion left by the human, the short time, all of it.

With his mind made up, his fingertips twitched. The earth that had receded began to return to its place, scattering dust. As if seeking its original position.

The Dragon had to do the same. His life and fate were already shattered, but he couldn’t die, so he had to live somehow. To lead the race he so desired, he couldn’t be swayed by such things. There was no reason to falter from emotions he didn’t understand.

The earth quickly collapsed, beginning to cover the human. His legs were buried first, then his body. A body that was scarred but had been white and flushed. Then his arms. Strong, firm arms that had held him tightly.

Now, only his face remained. Dirt flowed over the pale lips that wore a smile. The human was disappearing, into the ground.

The body buried in the earth would quickly decay and melt back into nature. Very soon. In just a few months, the human’s smile that he had seen would disappear.

Forever.

Never to be seen again.

The moment he realized that, the Dragon’s eyes widened. His pupils narrowed to their limit. Rage surged. Perhaps it was despair.

But the despair he had felt was not of this kind. Unlike the one overflowing with resentment, this emotion held a certain fear. Facing a despair he had never felt in his life, the Dragon surrendered.

Without conscious thought, he ran. He waved his hands hastily, pushing the earth back. He collapsed before the body. Then, he brushed the dirt off the human’s white face. Touching the face, where blood had dried, with his hands, he bent down.

Thank goodness.

He wasn’t buried.

Thinking this, the Dragon slowly ran his long, white fingers through the human’s black hair. It hadn’t disappeared. It was right before his eyes.

Without even knowing why he was thinking this, he caressed the human’s face for a long time. Without drinking or eating anything, he simply stayed wrapped around the dead for a long time. Until the white night passed once more and the white night completely ended.

He lost track of time. He only realized two days had passed when the human’s complexion began to turn increasingly pale. His face, already paler than before, was now so white that it wouldn’t be strange if it disappeared immediately.

Whether it was because he was a child of destiny, or because of the weather, or something the goddess had done, his decay was slower than others. However, it was not as if he wasn’t preparing to return to nature.

Sensing the change, the Dragon finally rose from his spot. Staring blankly at the human, he meticulously sifted through all his knowledge.

But there was no magic anywhere that could preserve the dead as they were. Without even knowing why he was looking for it, he thought until deep night arrived.

And finally, he thought of one method.

He slowly moved his wings. Rising slightly into the air, he looked down and reached out his hand. Then, the hole gradually widened. The hole, dug neither too deep nor too shallow, took on the size of a small lake.

Soon, ice began to fill it. The ice, extending from the edges, filled the hole like a frozen lake. The ice, filling the interior softly, finally enveloped the human. As the transparent, shining ice trapped the human, the Dragon finally let out a shallow breath.

His form was still visible.

Slowly descending to the ground, the Dragon stepped onto the ice. The human at his feet looked as if he were asleep. Just like the face that had slept in his arms all night. He felt as if he could wake up at any moment, so peaceful and serene. If it weren’t for the brutally mangled chest, it would have been quite convincing.

The Dragon’s gaze hardened at the cracked chest. Looking at the mark that had brought him here, the Dragon blinked slowly. He wanted to cover it. He had an unfounded certainty that he would feel better if he covered it.

Following the Dragon’s thoughts, a miraculous scene unfolded. Flowers began to sprout from the ice. Delicate petals bloomed long, and buds formed. The long stems emitted a beautiful purple hue.

Countless Kiercharus Flowers, like purple fireflies, bloomed and colored the surface of the ice lake. The flowers, filling the lake so that the human’s sleeping face was visible, formed a procession and spread outwards. The scattering purple light was just like the human’s eye color.

The Dragon, standing tall among the flowers, bent his upper body to look at the human now blocked by ice. A not-so-distant past flashed through the Dragon’s mind. For him, who had no forgetfulness, it was a vivid memory, as if it had happened yesterday, or just now.

There was a figure running, holding his hand.

“I really wanted to show you this scene.”

There was a flushed face turning around, looking at his smile.

“My name is Cullen.”

There were earlobes that turned red from his teasing as he touched his cheek.

Recalling that, the Dragon unconsciously pursed his lips. His hand, which had extended without him realizing it, touched the ice. Just like then, like that day, he wanted to touch the human’s cheek.

But what returned was the cold touch of ice. The faint smile that had been drawn on the Dragon’s pink lips slowly faded. With a face devoid of all expression, the Dragon finally admitted one fact he had been denying.

He would never hear the human’s voice again.

He would no longer see his smile, and would never feel his warmth.

The moment he realized that, the Dragon stared blankly at his surroundings. Amidst the beautifully shining flowers, he was alone. Even though he had gained his race, even though he had regained his freedom… for some reason…

He felt no joy, like the day he was with the human in the lake.

None at all.