(10) Alpha

Every memorable moment was filled with Lee Yoon-woo. Even after I developed as an Alpha, no, even before I developed, he was the only existence for me. More than my mom, more than my dad. Even the simple calculation I used to do when I was young didn’t fully express my feelings for Lee Yoon-woo.

Lee Yoon-woo was an unusually eye-catching kid. His composure, uncharacteristic of a child, and the occasional glimpses of kindness often won him the favor of others. He was indifferent in personality but kind in his actions, so it would have been strange if he weren’t popular.

Gradually, I seeped into Lee Yoon-woo’s life. At first, I just thought of him, then he made me smile, and finally, I started to feel jealous. Every time I saw his handsome face, every time he was with someone other than me, an unknown emotion welled up inside me.

Fortunately, the person he showed interest in was mostly me. Maybe it was because my birthday was earlier than his, or maybe it was because I matured faster, but he often treated me as someone he had to protect. The evidence was how carefully he handled me, like a fragile object, or how he put me on the same level as a chick.

I didn’t dislike Lee Yoon-woo’s attention. In fact, I was closer to liking it. The fact that he thought of me as special, the fact that his gaze followed me wherever I was, brought me a certain kind of joy. The increasingly heavy emotion eventually grew too large to be contained by the name ‘friendship.’

Around that time, I couldn’t properly name my feelings either. Like most young children, I simply thought it was a desire to monopolize my ‘friend.’ I went to Lee Yoon-woo’s house every morning and subtly separated him from other friends, but I didn’t realize that I was acting strangely.

But Lee Yoon-woo was also partly to blame. No matter what I did, Lee Yoon-woo accepted it all under the name of ‘protector.’

I knew why he was so protective of me. My unusually small physique for my age must have caught his eye. Or maybe my appearance, which people occasionally mentioned, stimulated his protective instincts. Things I thought were of no help in life became factors in Lee Yoon-woo looking at me.

Anyway, he was protective of me, and I just let him be. I liked the way he tried to be with me every move I made, so even though I complained, I couldn’t sincerely push him away. And sometimes, I would reach out to him first.

That day, too, I went to Lee Yoon-woo’s house early in the morning. He was a heavy sleeper, especially in the morning, so he couldn’t wake up even after his parents left for work. To go to school with him, I had to go and wake him up myself at the time when his house was empty.

“Lee Yoon-woo, wake up.”

As expected, Lee Yoon-woo was sound asleep. He was lying on his side, sleeping so peacefully that someone could have carried him away without him knowing. His neatly closed eyes and the occasional twitching of his lips told me that he was still in dreamland.

“Lee Yoon-woo.”

I sat on the bed and called Lee Yoon-woo in a low voice. It was too weak a call to wake him up from his deep sleep. As expected, he didn’t wake up, but instead tossed and turned with a light grumble.

“Ugh…”

His neat brow furrowed slightly. The hands he had gathered beside him also fidgeted a little. I lowered my head and brought my face closer, and Lee Yoon-woo’s scent brushed against the tip of my nose. I carefully reached out to his shoulder and murmured in a small voice.

“Are you going to keep sleeping?”

I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. I should have been shaking him, not patting him, waking him up, not putting him back to sleep. But the face that was pleasantly raising the corners of his lips erased all those thoughts without a trace.

It was one of my favorite times. A space where only Lee Yoon-woo and I existed, a sense of floating as if time had stopped, and a gentle, warm warmth. Whether it was fabric softener or something else, Lee Yoon-woo’s unique scent sometimes had the ability to calm my mind.

At times like that, I would reach out as if possessed. I would brush back his disheveled hair and gently stroke his pale cheeks. Then, when I was intoxicated by an unknown feeling and pressed down on his lips, my heart would beat fiercely for a long time afterward.

It was a peaceful moment. Although we were about to be late, I didn’t want to give up this cozy feeling. The soft breathing gradually seeped into my chest. I wished this daily life would never be broken.

Of course, we were both late. Lee Yoon-woo, who woke up late, looked at me with an absurd expression but didn’t blame me. He just sweetly took the blame for being late, as usual.

I liked the consideration he showed only to me. I liked the kindness he showed me, and I liked everything he did in front of me. I just liked Lee Yoon-woo, so I didn’t look for a reason for my actions. But soon after, I realized that I liked him as something other than a friend.

The day Lee Yoon-woo appeared in my dream, the day I woke up with my lower body wet for the first time, I manifested as an Alpha.

The hospital told me that I was an unprecedented dominant Alpha. They added that a guardian’s attention was needed until the pheromones stabilized, and that it would be better to take a break from school during the rut cycle. Fortunately, since both of my parents were dominant Alphas, learning to control pheromones wasn’t difficult.

But unexpected difficulties always came suddenly.

The day I suffered from a rut cycle for a full week and succeeded in controlling my pheromones for the first time, Lee Yoon-woo came to see me with a worried look on his face.

“Are you feeling better?”

He carefully closed the door and stepped inside. His neatly dressed school uniform and the bag on his shoulder told me that he had been to school. I blinked blankly and got up from the bed.

“How… did you get here?”

I had been sleeping restlessly for a week because of my wildly raging pheromones. The hospital had prescribed suppressants, but more pheromones were flowing out than were being suppressed. It was only today that I barely regained my sanity, and I suppressed my pheromones for the first time in a week.

“What do you mean, how did I get here?”

Lee Yoon-woo put down his bag and sat on the bed. He answered casually and gently brushed my bangs aside. Soon, his hand softly covered my forehead.

“I came every day, but I came in today because they said you were okay.”

My heart sank. His straight eyes, his lips as delicate as a painting, were all no different from what I had seen in my dreams. Rather, his affectionate gaze was more exciting than in my dreams.

“You still have a fever, Choi Tae-gyeom.”

The pheromones that I had been suppressing so hard also began to show their presence. I wondered if he knew that he was the reason I had a fever. He quickly withdrew his hand and collapsed on my legs.

“Does it hurt when you manifest?”

I felt a sweet sensation. His voice, full of worry, made me feel so good that my pheromones were about to burst out. His slightly raised eyes and his unusually dark pupils were so lovely that I couldn’t express it in words.

“When you manifest as an Alpha… is it much different?”

It was my first love. A first love where my heart fluttered when I saw his face, and my emotions soared when our eyes met. And now, a first love where pheromones would pop out all the time.

“…Yeah.”

I like Lee Yoon-woo. The feeling I realized with my manifestation became an inexplicable sorrow. An overwhelming emotion that felt like tears were about to fall pushed out my pheromones. Lee Yoon-woo was right in front of me, but I still missed him.

“It hurts.”

“…”

“It hurt so much.”

Lee Yoon-woo didn’t ask anything and came up to the bed. Then, he hugged me tightly and patted my back. Back then, he was bigger than me, so he had no hesitation in holding me in his arms.

“You’ve been through a lot.”

My lower abdomen tickled. Lee Yoon-woo’s warmth made me feel similar to when I had a rut cycle. My whole body was hot, and pheromones were pouring out endlessly. Once the pheromones were out of control, they soaked him and filled the room.

I don’t know how long I was in Lee Yoon-woo’s arms. At some point, I fell asleep as if I had fainted, and when I opened my eyes, I saw my mom with a serious expression.

“Tae-gyeom, you and I need to talk.”

My mom scolded me while emitting scary pheromones. From saying that it was impolite to put pheromones on the other person, to saying that it would have been a big problem if Lee Yoon-woo was an Omega. The funny thing was, as soon as I heard that, my instinct was to assume, ‘I wish he was an Omega.’

After that, I consciously avoided Lee Yoon-woo. At first, I secretly went to school, but later I openly avoided him. He looked hurt several times when he saw me like that, but I couldn’t help it. Every time I thought of Lee Yoon-woo, the pheromones that came out affected other Omegas.

It was a tragedy created by the dominant trait and slow growth rate. My pheromones were strong, but I had no means to defend my body, so I was harassed by Omegas almost every other day. They would put their pheromones on me, rub their bodies against me, and do things I couldn’t even put into words.

Even now, I get chills when I think about it. My limp body couldn’t even resist, and it felt like bugs were crawling all over my body, covered in filth. The dazed Omegas, and my body reacting to their pheromones, I wanted to kill them all if I could.

Fortunately, their actions never went all the way. Just when I was about to lose consciousness, Lee Yoon-woo always came to mind, and that was enough to hold on to the last bit of reason.

“Choi Tae-gyeom?”

I can’t forget Lee Yoon-woo opening the last stall in the bathroom that day. The way he looked at me, the expression that gradually turned to worry, and the warmth of his embrace.

“…Lee Yoon-woo.”

I was glad that Lee Yoon-woo couldn’t feel the pheromones. Otherwise, he would have felt not only my pheromones but also the dirty Omega pheromones. There would have been nothing more upsetting than being caught with such a messy mix of pheromones.

“It’s okay.”

I never knew that the words ‘it’s okay’ could be so comforting. I never knew that it could wash away the damp and dirty feelings so cleanly. Who knew that one word from him could be so like salvation?

“I hate Omegas.”

Tears came out. Selfishly, I was still pouring out pheromones even in this situation. Because I liked Lee Yoon-woo, because I wanted to leave my mark on him. I couldn’t help it because my instincts wanted Lee Yoon-woo.

“…I really hate them so much.”

The pheromones that burst out messily didn’t know their place and stained Lee Yoon-woo. He comforted me without knowing anything and gradually became soaked in my pheromones.

“I’m glad you’re a Beta.”

It was the day I was relieved that he was a Beta.

* * *

“I shouldn’t have said that.”

A voice like a breath flowed out. Even though it was a small voice that was barely audible, I could feel Lee Yoon-woo, who was in my arms, fidgeting. I carefully patted his dry back and pulled him closer into my arms.

“Sleep…”

Fortunately, Lee Yoon-woo soon had a peaceful expression. His softly lowered eyelashes were so neat that I wanted to touch them. His eyebrows, his eyes, even his nose and lips. There was nothing imperfect on his small face.

“…I missed you.”

“I called you because I missed you.”

“I miss you, Tae-gyeom.”

I was so surprised when I received Lee Yoon-woo’s call last night. I was more worried than excited about the alcohol I could feel over the phone. How drunk was he to call me, how out of it was he to even say he missed me? Even as I grabbed my wallet and phone and took a taxi, I couldn’t believe that he was being serious.

Fortunately, Lee Yoon-woo was waiting for me right there. He was outside the bar, but even that was just a small hiccup. It was a stroke of luck that Park Seong-jae, who was kind, had told me the location of the gathering, saying, ‘Come if you have time, sunbae.’

As expected, Lee Yoon-woo smelled of unfamiliar alcohol. A pungent alcohol scent, a slight pheromone, and a faint Alpha scent mixed with the smell of cigarettes.

He was with Kim Do-hyun.

As soon as I had that thought, I felt jealous. I was so angry that I was blinded by the fact that he had another person’s pheromones on him. It was a very brazen feeling, considering that I was the one who said I would give up.

But what I had learned from liking him for over 10 years was how to hide those feelings without a trace. Once I had said it, I had to at least pretend to give up. If I said I would give up my feelings, I had to at least try to give up. Showing expectations or expressing my feelings was only possible with the other person’s permission.

So I was going to take Lee Yoon-woo home as if nothing was wrong. I was going to lay him down in his studio apartment, make sure he was asleep, and then go home. I shouldn’t have rushed over in the first place, but I didn’t think that far.

“…”

But in the end, he made me foolish. The moment I thought his face, illuminated by the moonlight, was so lovely, our lips brushed against each other.

“Close your eyes.”

The second time, the memory of kissing was still hazy. When I barely regained my senses, I was sitting him on the stairs and passionately mixing my tongue with his. I kept telling myself that I shouldn’t be doing this, that I should push him away, but my body was already out of control.

“…Yoon-woo.”

I felt miserable. During the five years that Lee Yoon-woo was gone, I learned not to expect anything. While I was being ignored for no reason, my expectations gradually diminished. But even his drunken actions felt like a sign of something.

“If you do this, I’ll get my hopes up.”

The feelings that had continued for a long time eventually grabbed my ankle. Even though I knew I would be disappointed, I gave meaning to all this time.

“…Then get your hopes up.”

I couldn’t forget the words that came out of his mouth. His unwavering gaze tied me up from head to toe. Lee Yoon-woo’s black eyes were more fixed on me than ever before.

“I’m doing this so you’ll get your hopes up.”

It took me quite a long time to understand what those words meant. The words that he hated being an Omega, that he was afraid that I would hate him, that he didn’t hate me, and that it wasn’t out of a sense of duty.

“When I was a senior in high school.”

The tension he had infected me with had already hardened my expression. The pheromones that had been flowing out little by little also stopped as if frozen.

“I liked you even before I manifested as an Omega.”

I’ve liked you for a long time. It was a familiar phrase. It wasn’t the first confession I had heard, and it wasn’t the first situation I had experienced. But just the fact that the other person was Lee Yoon-woo made my heart pound as if it would burst.

“I like you.”

I thought I was dreaming. Or maybe I was so fond of Lee Yoon-woo that I had finally gone crazy.

“I like you, Choi Tae-gyeom.”

I had never wanted Lee Yoon-woo’s heart. The feelings he showed me were all out of a sense of duty, or friendship, or affection similar to what he had for his family. I was sure that if he had any sexual feelings for me, it would only be possible in a dream.

“I like you a lot.”

It was unbelievable. Lee Yoon-woo likes me. He’s looking into my eyes, with a nervous expression, and telling me that he’s liked me.

“So…”

“…”

“Can’t you not give up on me?”

It was different from what I had heard in my room. The weight of the sentence was different, and the trembling at the end of the sentence was different. My pheromones, my emotions that I hadn’t yet calmed down, intermittently popped out towards Lee Yoon-woo.

“I want to stop being friends, now.”

I wanted to have hope. Even if it was the last time, I wanted to indulge in a sweet feeling. If he suggested it, I was going to pretend I couldn’t win and give in.

“What about you?”

If there was a god, I think he was on my side at that moment. He cleanly erased the line I had created and kindly pushed me on the back.

“…Me too.”

Lee Yoon-woo gently smiled and stroked my cheek. The pheromones he emitted lingered subtly around me.

“Then it’s settled.”

After that, everything was full of unbelievable things. Even after kissing him several times, Lee Yoon-woo doesn’t disappear. He doesn’t reject me, and he doesn’t wake up from the dream. The dizzy feeling, as if I was drunk, didn’t disappear until we came back to the studio apartment together and he went to wash up.

“Was I too much…”

Lee Yoon-woo’s neck was still full of red marks. The sense of reality that I had barely regained after a long time disappeared again the moment I mingled with him. I think I was trying to restrain myself at first, but at some point, I was mindlessly biting and sucking. Well, it’s a miracle that I didn’t lose my mind at the end, like when I first slept with him.

It was inevitable. Lee Yoon-woo, whom I had desired for so long. The Lee Yoon-woo I had wished for, yearned for, and even fantasized about.

Even last time, I had overcome my instincts countless times. Knowing he was out of his mind due to his heat cycle, I was still busy leaving my mark all over him. I knew I would be consumed by self-loathing after this act, but at that moment, I felt like I possessed Lee Yoon-woo.

After having an excessively sweet dream, I couldn’t bear the misery of waking up. Realizing that everything was a mirage made it hard to endure the present that lay ahead.

“Hngh, scary, it’s scary… Hngh…”

Lee Yoon-woo’s tears were enough to shatter the happiness that enveloped me. The harsh reality made me realize that I didn’t even deserve to like him.

In a way, it was no different from the Omegas who had tormented me when I was young. Placing a defenseless person in front of me and wielding my pheromones to my heart’s content. Ignoring his repeated refusals as if I didn’t hear them. Knowing he couldn’t push me away, I used that as a weapon to justify my actions.

Unbearable self-loathing washed over me. Once while extracting my traces from inside him, once while changing the sheets soaked with all kinds of bodily fluids, and once again while picking up the rumpled clothes. It couldn’t even compare to the times I had masturbated thinking of Lee Yoon-woo when I was younger.

I fled from my studio apartment as if running away, and then avoided him as if running away again. Knowing how cowardly it was, I forcibly declared that I would give up on you. With only the thought of not getting hurt, I didn’t listen to a single word Lee Yoon-woo was trying to say.

He said he was sorry for telling me late, but I wouldn’t have believed him even if he had told me earlier. There’s nothing more likely to get hurt than trusting unnecessary expectations. The conclusions, accumulated through experience, blocked my eyes and ears and closed the door to my heart.

“…Yoon-woo.”

I gently stroked his soft hair. Unlike me, who would wake up with the slightest touch, he usually didn’t wake up easily. And yet, he tells me I sleep too much, and he doesn’t know how embarrassed I get when he thinks I’m asleep and pokes my face all over.

“Yoon-woo.”

“Umm…”

Lee Yoon-woo tossed and turned, snuggling closer to me. The warmth wriggling in my arms tickled the corners of my lips.

“…What am I going to do?”

I felt a rush of adrenaline. So this is what it feels like to like someone so much. To have my whole body tingle like this. Before closing my eyes, while closing my eyes, and even after opening my eyes, I was so happy to have Lee Yoon-woo.

I caressed Lee Yoon-woo for a long time. I rubbed his round forehead and tickled his long eyelashes. I held his slender chin in one hand and kissed him, and traced the heat rash on his neck with my fingertips.

Lee Yoon-woo woke up just as I couldn’t resist giving him a deep kiss. The moment I felt his scent on my skin, craving the tantalizing pheromones, he slowly lifted his eyelids.

“Uhh…”

“Did you sleep well?”

Lee Yoon-woo’s eyes were full of sleepiness. He had drunk alcohol and exhausted himself before falling asleep, so it was still time for him to be sleeping. But I had woken him up by touching him all over.

“…Ah.”

I loved the moment when the focus returned to his dark eyes. The short sequence of recognizing me, accepting me, and then being happy to see me. It used to be so one-sided, but now I felt like I could read the deep emotions underlying it.

“You woke up early.”

Lee Yoon-woo always greeted me in the morning with an awkward feeling. I didn’t know if he was embarrassed that he woke up later than me, or if he was ashamed of how he looked when he woke up. I wondered if he knew that I found both cute.

“Sleep more, you’re off today.”

“…Who woke me up so I couldn’t sleep?”

Lee Yoon-woo grumbled and raised his head slightly. Then, he rolled his sleepy eyes and looked at me cautiously.

“Is your arm not numb?”

“It’s not numb.”

I answered, pulling Lee Yoon-woo, who had awkwardly fallen away, back to me. Even if my arm was numb, I didn’t really care. With Lee Yoon-woo in front of me, I had to put up with that much. Besides, my posture wasn’t actually that uncomfortable.

“…Ah, right.”

Lee Yoon-woo, who was about to obediently snuggle into my arms, suddenly exclaimed. Then, he abruptly raised his head and looked at me. His usual neat eyes curved into a pleasant arc.

“I like you.”

“…”

“I wanted to tell you as soon as I woke up.”

My molars tingled. Even though I chewed on the inside of my cheek, the sensation that had bloomed once wouldn’t go away. As I blankly stared at him, Lee Yoon-woo gave me a light kiss.

“So don’t be anxious.”

How could I not like him when he did this? One word I had casually uttered, a hint of anxiety I had inadvertently revealed. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t miss a single one and comforted me. It was a habit of comforting my trauma from childhood, and it was a kindness that was limited only to me.

I didn’t answer and pulled Lee Yoon-woo into my arms. Lee Yoon-woo, who silently leaned his head against my chest, wrapped his arms around my waist. I felt faint pheromones emanating from everywhere he touched me. Feeling a little petulant at the tantalizing sensation, I spoke to Lee Yoon-woo.

“Release your pheromones.”

“From the morning?”

Lee Yoon-woo asked, wiggling his lower body. As our legs intertwined, our lower bodies naturally came into close contact. As if he wasn’t someone who had just woken up, his lower body was slightly swollen. Feeling the pressure, he made excuses in an awkward voice.

“It’s because it’s morning.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle. I wondered if he knew that I was similar to him. No, judging by the way he was subtly pulling his butt away, I think he knew. I rubbed my face against his soft hair and pulled Lee Yoon-woo closer.

“Where are you going?”

“No… our lower bodies are touching.”

“So what? It’s not bare skin.”

Lee Yoon-woo sighed and relaxed his body. He seemed to realize that continuing to move would only stimulate him more. I could feel his even breaths on my chest.

“What about your pheromones?”

As soon as I urged him, he released his pheromones. Because he was recessive, their presence wasn’t strong, but it was okay because it cut off my pheromones. The faintly flowing pheromones were full of Lee Yoon-woo’s unique scent.

I always think this, but I didn’t feel even a little bit of aversion to his pheromones. Whether it was because he had no intention of being sexually appealing, or because they were so faint that it was difficult to recognize them as ‘pheromones’. For whatever reason, they were more likely to calm my mind than arouse my desire.

So at first, it was hard to believe that this was pheromones. The pheromones I imagined weren’t this refreshing. The Omegas I had seen so far usually released denser, more viscous pheromones.

“Do you like my pheromones?”

Lee Yoon-woo seemed not to understand me. He sniffed his collar as if he was puzzled, then buried his nose in my arms and inhaled. Haa, his scattered breaths were a little hot.

“You’re more than me…”

As soon as I heard those words, I climbed on top of Lee Yoon-woo. Even I couldn’t tell which part of me felt the impulse. I just wanted to touch him and kiss him. I wanted to directly confirm the warmth, having learned that the inside of his mouth was hot, unlike his slightly cool body temperature.

The moment our lips touched, he obediently opened his mouth. He naturally wrapped his arms around my neck and gently closed his eyes. His intertwined tongues and trembling eyelids were all clumsy.

When we first kissed, Lee Yoon-woo showed his raw self. He flinched as if he had never been touched by anyone, and his reaction was slow despite being in heat cycle. But I remember getting angry because he kept asking for sex.

‘You.’

‘Have you slept with an Alpha before?’

It wasn’t important whether he was a virgin or not. What was important was that there was a time I didn’t know about during the years we were apart. Lee Yoon-woo meeting someone else, giving his heart, and even mixing bodies. Just imagining it made my head spin.

“…Haa.”

Lee Yoon-woo gasped for breath with slightly parted lips. The pheromones emanating from him were already sticky with heat. The fact that I still didn’t feel any aversion despite the blatant arousal was probably because the other person was Lee Yoon-woo anyway. But the reason for finding the reason was meaningless.

“Why are you so excited?”

He playfully said, caressing my head. My lips tingled every time his straight fingers brushed against the back of my head. His eyes were languidly unfocused and his cheeks were flushed, but his voice was calm. That subtle gap was so lovable.

“It’s because you said you like me.”

I kissed Lee Yoon-woo a couple of times and moved my lips to his ear. He flinched and curled his legs when I nibbled on his ear and earlobe. He seemed to be trying to cover his half-swollen lower body, but I had already grabbed his thigh tightly.

“This is the real ‘from the morning’.”

I could feel his fully erect penis through his clothes. When I rubbed that part with my palm, Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromones burst out. I was so sorry that he was recessive at times like this. It would be nice if his pheromones flowed like they did during his heat cycle.

“It’s because you’re touching me.”

Lee Yoon-woo, who retorted in an aggrieved voice, touched my legs between his knees.

“You’re hard too.”

As he said, I had also been hard for a while. He didn’t know, but ever since puberty, I had been like this whenever I touched Lee Yoon-woo even a little. Especially when we were lying together, I couldn’t control my overflowing imagination, so I often had to pinch my thighs.

“Yeah, I’m hard too.”

I should buy condoms, it’s too hard to keep holding back like this.

“Should I release my pheromones?”

I kissed his ear and put my hand into his pants. I passed his sparse pubic hair and touched his warm, heated penis. Lee Yoon-woo, who seemed to be pushing me away at first, didn’t resist much when his penis was grabbed.

“Hngh… no.”

He shook his head and slowly reached out his hand. Then, he put his hand into my pants like I did. His slightly cool hand gently wrapped around my penis.

“Then I think I’ll go first again.”

His dry flesh rubbed against me. He was just touching me without any particular skill, but my senses became so sensitive that my hair stood on end. The pheromones that faintly filled the air also played a part.

“You’re so… hot.”

Lee Yoon-woo muttered in an astonished voice, rubbing the glans with his thumb. The liquid that came out of the tip of the glans made it slippery and heightened the sensation. He rolled his hand around and rubbed it up and down, then glanced at my face.

“Do you like it when I do this?”

Ah, I almost got into trouble. I almost came just by making eye contact. I never knew that neat face could feel so lewd.

“…Lift your waist.”

He obediently wiggled his butt as I took off his pants. What did he think I was going to do, being so docile since last night? What if I turned him over and forced myself on him? Because he gave me room to stretch my legs like this, I kept wanting to ask for more.

“Grab both together…”

I heard a gulp. It was the sound of Lee Yoon-woo moving his Adam’s apple as he grabbed my penis and his at the same time. He grabbed his penis with both hands and moved his hands as I told him to.

“Haa…”

His hard penis rubbed against my hand. It was clumsy, but that made it even more stimulating. He had a face that looked like he didn’t know anything about lust, but he was holding my penis. His tightly bitten lower lip, his slightly wrinkled eyes, were all lewd.

I looked at Lee Yoon-woo’s face as if I was obsessed. I’m seeing the expression I used to see in my dreams every time I open my eyes these days. I should have bitten those red lips just once. The conclusion I came to because I didn’t want to burden him belatedly rushed in as regret.

“Hngh.”

He trembled slightly and tilted his head back. Judging by the amount of pheromones, he seemed to be reaching his climax. His exposed neck was so pale that the blood vessels seemed to be visible.

Should I leave more marks?

Now that I knew he was an Omega, he needed some kind of protection. It wasn’t enough to just smear pheromones on him like before, I needed a mark that would make me more sure that he was mine. Those pheromones don’t have any effect on Betas anyway.

“Ugh…”

The pheromones I had suppressed came out because I was in a good mood. Even if I tried to collect them again, I couldn’t help what had already come out. Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromones would be erased if I did this, and I was so sorry that my stomach hurt.

He thinks I’m holding back my pheromones because I’m considerate of him, but that’s half right and half wrong. Lee Yoon-woo is too recessive and I’m too dominant, so even if I release a little pheromones, his pheromones are eaten up. I can’t bury what’s not enough to inhale directly with my pheromones.

“Ah…!”

Lee Yoon-woo clenched his penis and ejaculated with a low moan. The pressure made my vision go white for a moment. My lower abdomen tightened and a tingling pleasure struck the back of my head. When I bent down, I had messed up his upper body with my cum.

“…Haa.”

This time too, Lee Yoon-woo discharged thin, watery semen. His T-shirt was a mess with mine and Lee Yoon-woo’s.

“I have to wash the clothes.”

“Yeah… I guess so.”

I kissed his forehead. Lee Yoon-woo, who had folded his eyes happily, rubbed his cheek against my face. Whenever he shows such cute behavior, I want to bite him from head to toe. But he probably doesn’t intend to do it.

“Do it like this.”

Lee Yoon-woo obediently cooperated in taking off his T-shirt. As soon as I took off his clothes, I could see the marks I had left last night. His nipples seemed a little swollen from being sucked and kissed so much.

“…What are you looking at?”

Lee Yoon-woo, who had pushed my face away, raised his upper body slightly. The timing was bad, I was just about to reach out to the bulging spot.

“You saw it all yesterday anyway.”

“That’s different from this.”

“What’s different?”

“Anyway, it’s different.”

He firmly said and snatched the T-shirt I was holding. His back as he got off the bed was also full of reddish marks.

More than that, he’s going to fall if he gets up like that… As soon as I thought that, Lee Yoon-woo fell over.

“Are you okay?”

Fortunately, I caught him before he fell. Lee Yoon-woo, who was staggering and sitting on my lap, frowned and bent over.

“…My whole body hurts.”

“It’s bound to hurt.”

He moved his body so much yesterday, there was no way it wouldn’t hurt. It was less than the first time, but the muscle pain was probably no joke. While I was kissing the heat rash on the back of his neck, he patted his waist.

“Should I wash you?”

Lee Yoon-woo stopped moving his hand and glanced back at me. His frowning eyes were softly relaxed, wondering what he was thinking. Soon, he smiled and raised the corners of his lips.

“You kissed me then, right?”

I knew when he was talking about. It must have been the day I drank a bomb shot at a drinking party just a month ago. The reason why that memory came to mind again was probably because the words he had just said reminded me of when he had said ‘Should I wash you?’ to me.

“When?”

But I wrapped my arms around Lee Yoon-woo’s waist, pretending not to know. His body temperature, which had been hot a little while ago, had already cooled down. His cool, dry skin seemed to cling to my fingertips.

“The day I drank with the club members and slept at your house.”

As expected, he mentioned that day and leaned back on me. I gently rubbed my lips against his cold shoulder, meaning to tell him to keep talking.

“I had a dream that you were kissing me.”

I still have the memory of lying in the same bed with him that day and staying up all night. Lee Yoon-woo fell asleep without knowing my feelings, and I faced him and poured out words I couldn’t say. At the end, I lightly kissed him as usual.

“But no matter how much I think about it, I don’t think it was a dream.”

He had an unusually sharp sense. I thought he would never know because he was dull in strange places.

“Well… I was too drunk that day, so I don’t remember.”

I subtly probed him, composing my expression. I needed to clearly distinguish whether he only suspected the kiss wasn’t real, or if he thought I wasn’t drunk.

“Well…”

He nodded without much argument. He said I was very drunk, and why did I drink so much, his nagging tone not betraying even a hint of suspicion.

It seemed Lee Yoon-woo really thought I was completely drunk. Well, he’d always believed me first and foremost. I guessed he’d agree even if I said I was making meju from red beans.

“I’m going to shower, so think about what you want to eat. Let’s have breakfast.”

He kissed the back of my hand and carefully got up. This time, there was no collapsing. He was just a little unsteady on his feet.

As soon as the bathroom door clicked shut, the memories of that day flooded back into my mind.

‘I’ll just go out for a quick smoke… Get ready to go home. Okay?’

Drunk my ass, I even remembered how many minutes it took Lee Yoon-woo to come back. And I vividly remembered Kim Do-hyun getting up to follow him.

‘I’ll go have a smoke too.’

It was obvious to anyone that his goal wasn’t a cigarette, but Lee Yoon-woo. He was probably going to follow him around and try to strike up a conversation. He’d been glancing at Lee Yoon-woo all night, as if waiting for an opportunity.

‘Where are you going? Sit down.’

So I grabbed him before he could turn away. As soon as I spoke clearly, Kim Do-hyun looked at me as if I were ridiculous. He hadn’t believed I was drunk in the first place. It was an audacious reaction.

‘You should keep pretending to be drunk.’

Of course, he couldn’t follow Kim Do-hyun. Lee Yoon-woo really thought I couldn’t handle myself. Time passed as I swallowed my annoyance and drank water, and Lee Yoon-woo was the first to return to the table.

Actually, I hadn’t planned on staying overnight at Lee Yoon-woo’s house. Even pretending to be drunk was just to mess with Kim Do-hyun, wasn’t it? He was young, but he’d learned all the sly tricks. It was laughable how he wore a smiling mask in front of Lee Yoon-woo.

But,

‘I’m saying this seriously, so think about it carefully.’

I never expected him to stab me in the back like that.

‘Kim Do-hyun likes me.’

I never thought he’d have the courage to confess. I thought he’d just watch from afar like all the others who had liked Lee Yoon-woo until now. Even if his feelings deepened, I thought he’d give up quickly after seeing me and Lee Yoon-woo.

There had been many people who had liked Lee Yoon-woo. Because he was handsome, because he was kind, because he wasn’t easy to get close to, and because if you did get close, you felt like you’d become someone special. There were countless reasons, and countless people. And they all gave up in the face of Lee Yoon-woo’s indifference.

It was the result of the difficult atmosphere he created. Black hair, pale skin, and even rare changes in expression, his entry barrier was nearly the highest possible. If those who liked me confessed whether they had a chance or not, those who liked Lee Yoon-woo gave up before they even dreamed of confessing.

Well, there were still some guys who liked Lee Yoon-woo even after that half-hearted filtering. Either they continued their unrequited love from afar, or they were the type to constantly strike up conversations.

In the former case, there was no need to worry much. Lee Yoon-woo, who didn’t even know I liked him, had no interest in how others saw him. I didn’t like them looking at Lee Yoon-woo either, but if they were just looking, I didn’t intend to interfere.

But in the latter case, there were quite a few tricky guys. They occasionally talked to him or gave him gifts, expressing their feelings, even though I was standing next to Lee Yoon-woo. Sometimes they even asked me to deliver them, but in those cases, they went straight into the trash without hesitation. It was ridiculous that they were trying to receive the same treatment as me in the first place.

‘What does it feel like to be confessed to?’

I don’t know how much I thought to myself the day Lee Yoon-woo asked that. Had someone confessed to him, or had he developed a crush on someone? Or did he perhaps want to be confessed to?

‘Annoying.’

Even though I answered insincerely, I was very complicated inside. Maybe it was because I had just thrown away the letter in his locker. If he wanted to be confessed to, I had prevented it.

‘…Not happy?’

‘What’s happy about being confessed to by someone I don’t know?’

I was the one with mixed feelings, but Lee Yoon-woo looked rather troubled. Even so, the hand that smoothed my bangs was as gentle as if it would melt.

‘I mean, I want to be confessed to by someone I like.’

Lee Yoon-woo had probably completely forgotten about that conversation. He probably didn’t know that I meant I wanted him to confess to me. He probably didn’t know that for a moment, the Lee Yoon-woo in my imagination had uttered words like ‘I like you’.

“It feels like a dream…”

The fact that I was lying in Lee Yoon-woo’s bed, waiting for Lee Yoon-woo, felt like a dream. The fact that Lee Yoon-woo was beyond that door didn’t feel real either. I had been holding him in my arms just a moment ago, but as soon as he disappeared from sight, I had these thoughts.

Should I act a little more anxious when he comes out? Then wouldn’t he smile prettily like before and tell me he liked me again? He was always kind to me, so he might even hold me until I wasn’t anxious anymore.

I liked the worry he showed only to me. I liked that specialness so much that I even pretended to be weak and cowered on purpose. It had been quite a while since I had stopped being afraid of Omegas, though. Lee Yoon-woo still thought I was afraid of them.

Cute, who’s going to protect who.

I chuckled like a madman and got out of bed. I was going to at least pick out a breakfast menu while he showered. If there were side dishes, I’d make a simple stew, but as far as I could tell from the last time I looked, the refrigerator only had water and kimchi. Ordering in or eating out would be the best option.

“…Huh.”

With that thought, I approached the kitchen and found it full of unfamiliar pills. From those in containers to those divided into boxes. The neatly stacked pills were all ‘Omega-only suppressants’.

“What are you looking at?”

Lee Yoon-woo, who had come out of the bathroom in the meantime, approached me from behind. It took him a while, but he had apparently finished showering, as the scent of shampoo wafted strongly. Lee Yoon-woo took the pill container I was looking at and neatly placed it back on top of the stacked pills.

“I’m collecting them to throw them away.”

Whether he was throwing them away or taking them. It was natural for an Omega to have suppressants. I also carried them around like emergency medicine in preparation for my rut. However, why were there so many different kinds of pills?

“Why do you have so many different kinds of suppressants?”

Lee Yoon-woo avoided my gaze with a slightly embarrassed expression. Whenever he made this face, similar words always came out. He had this expression when he confessed that he was living alone, and when he said he was an Omega.

“…If you take them long-term, you develop a tolerance, so I took different kinds alternately. There’s no other reason.”

“You’re recessive, so there’s no reason to take them to the point of developing a tolerance…”

I stopped speaking and clamped my mouth shut. It was because I suddenly remembered the day he had his heat cycle. The medicine packet Lee Yoon-woo had received from the hospital clearly stated:

Promotes hormone stabilization and pheromone secretion in Omegas. Do not take concurrently with suppressants.

Promotes pheromone secretion.

I thought it was a little strange. That a very recessive Omega, whose pheromones couldn’t usually be felt, would go so wild when he had his heat cycle. And a medicine that couldn’t be taken with suppressants. No sane person would prescribe that to an Omega in heat.

Come to think of it, I had taken a similar medicine when I had overdosed on suppressants because I hated having too many pheromones. My parents had nagged me endlessly, explaining the side effects of suppressants, and they matched Lee Yoon-woo’s symptoms exactly. Namely, pheromone surges and irregular cycles.

“Lee Yoon-woo.”

I called out to him softly. He winced, furrowing his brow, and looked at me. A drop of water falling from his hair trickled down his fair neck.

“Did you quit smoking?”

I didn’t intend to push him. I softened my expression a little and stroked his cold neck. As soon as my hand touched him, Lee Yoon-woo’s expression melted.

“Why the sudden question about cigarettes?”

“Just, you don’t smoke when you’re with me.”

Yesterday, Lee Yoon-woo definitely smelled like cigarettes. But the scent was subtly stronger than what he usually smoked. Could it have been the smell of Kim Do-hyun’s cigarette, not Lee Yoon-woo’s?

“I quit. I was smoking because of the pheromones anyway.”

It wasn’t difficult to grasp the situation. Lee Yoon-woo had been taking suppressants and even smoking to hide that he was an Omega. And now he was throwing away the collected suppressants and had also quit smoking.

“…Is that so?”

It’s because of me.

Knowing it vaguely was different from realizing it directly. I knew he was taking suppressants, but I didn’t know it was to the point of developing a tolerance, and I knew he was smoking, but I didn’t know it was only because of the pheromones.

I knew the reason he was hiding that he was an Omega was because of me, but I didn’t know it was to the point of harming his health.

‘It’s not like I wanted to hide it.’

I remembered Lee Yoon-woo saying that with a frustrated expression. An emotion he had never shown before, and anger. All of those things intertwined in one sentence.

‘It was hard for me too.’

A cold sensation brushed against the back of my neck. My head cooled down and my mood sank endlessly. The parts I had missed because I was so focused on my own feelings were now betraying me.

When I heard that Lee Yoon-woo was an Omega, all sorts of emotions crossed my mind. He must have felt all the pheromones I had released. The words I had said, the actions I had taken out of ignorance, what kind of sorrow must they have been for him? I felt regret and self-loathing, and embarrassment and betrayal. I was ashamed of myself, and excessive emotions hurt my pride.

Honestly, I was more embarrassed than sorry. I had been arrogant, thinking I knew everything about Lee Yoon-woo, but in the end, I didn’t even know he was an Omega. I was upset that he didn’t trust me, and I was angry that he had chosen Kim Do-hyun over me, whom he had known all his life. I had made assumptions, concluded that he would hate it, and in the end, he hadn’t even noticed my feelings, which was frustrating.

‘You only care that I lied, and you don’t care why I hid it?’

But in fact, I knew. If we were to consider the cause and effect, I was the one who came first. The reason he compulsively hid it, the reason we were at odds, all of it was caused by my trauma. Knowing that, I ultimately drove a wedge between us.

‘You’re just blaming everything on my trauma.’

As soon as he heard those words, his expression softened, and his dazed face contained only guilt, not anger. His apologetic and regretful appearance was still etched in my mind.

I shouldn’t have said that… A belated realization struck me heavily.

“Choi Tae-gyeom.”

The train of thought that had been continuing was cut off. Through my sharpened vision, I saw eyes that were steadily directed at me. Lee Yoon-woo, who had taken the hand that was resting on his neck and intertwined our fingers, asked softly.

“What are you thinking so hard about?”

He sometimes saw exactly what I was thinking like this. He noticed the emotions I was feeling and sent that calm gaze. He was clearly the same age as me, a friend, but the way he comforted me was skillful.

“You’re thinking bad thoughts again, aren’t you?”

It was surprisingly amazing. Whether it was consideration learned over a long period of time or an instinct that arose naturally, Lee Yoon-woo reacted very sensitively whenever my mood worsened even a little, whenever I became even a little depressed.

“It’s all on your face.”

Every time this happened, I kept getting the illusion that I had become someone special. He was insensitive to other people’s emotions, but he was endlessly delicate with me. Even though I knew it wasn’t right, I wanted to act like a child.

“How do you know what I’m thinking…”

I pulled the hand with intertwined fingers and kissed the back of his hand. As I rested my forehead on his hand, he laughed ticklishly.

“Kim Do-hyun said that you and I think too much.”

Did he say that? I wanted to ask, but Lee Yoon-woo didn’t give me time. He just casually continued his words and pulled me closer.

“Don’t come to conclusions by thinking alone. Then nothing will be resolved.”

The hand stroking my hair was gentle. Lee Yoon-woo’s unique scent erased various distractions. I rubbed my nose against his cool neck and said whiningly.

“It’s because you’re like this… that I keep acting spoiled.”

I had only heard a few kind words, but my head cleared up. Just facing each other made my chest feel warm and fuzzy.

“Isn’t it because you’re acting spoiled that I’m like this?”

“I don’t think so.”

There was no end to arguing about which came first. Like which came first, the chicken or the egg, it was ambiguous whether his kindness came first or my spoiled behavior. The only thing I didn’t understand was why he didn’t know my feelings.

“How can you know these things like a ghost but not know that I like you?”

“…You didn’t know either.”

His muttering voice was cute. I must have been seriously ill, because even in this situation, my body was burning. Well, I had never not been seriously ill since I started liking him.

Lee Yoon-woo pulled away from me slightly and made a serious expression.

“At least I knew before you said it.”

It seemed that him asking ‘Do you like me?’ first was a kind of excuse. I couldn’t understand that feeling, but I also had something to say in my defense.

“I might have known in a few years.”

Lee Yoon-woo and I basically had a difference in the amount of time we had liked each other. The weight of the feelings we had built up was different, and the way we had become accustomed to unrequited love was different. It had taken him about 10 years to realize my feelings, so it was okay for me to take that long to realize his feelings as well.

“Everyone knew I liked you except for you, Lee Yoon-woo.”

“…”

He closed his mouth tightly, wondering what he was thinking. Judging from the way he was subtly avoiding my gaze, it seemed he didn’t have anything to say in response to my words. Of course, he must have seen, heard, and felt something too.

“Conversely, no one knows you like me.”

There was a valid reason why I didn’t know his feelings. As soon as Lee Yoon-woo realized his feelings, he distanced himself from me and avoided me for five years. I couldn’t even see his face, let alone notice, so there was no way I could have thought he liked me unless I was crazy.

“There is someone who noticed.”

“Who?”

Lee Yoon-woo couldn’t answer right away and avoided my gaze. The moment I saw that, someone’s face flashed through my mind.

“Don’t tell me it’s Kim Do-hyun?”

He didn’t deny it, so that was definitely the answer. I don’t know how he knew, but that bastard knew Lee Yoon-woo’s feelings.

To think that he still hit on Lee Yoon-woo even knowing that.

“What kind of guy is he…”

In some ways, I was even envious. That he could go straight ahead as he pleased without being afraid of being rejected. Either he was fearless, incredibly brazen, or both. It was clear that it was something that neither I nor Lee Yoon-woo could imagine.

“Doesn’t he have anything to be afraid of?”

“He’s twenty.”

Lee Yoon-woo replied casually and smoothed his hair. Perhaps because it was damp, his hair was particularly black. It was smooth and shiny, and even fragrant.

“Ah, twenty…”

He’ll be going to the army soon. I muttered with relief and reached out with my wet hand. As I swept my bangs back, the hair that had been calm was messed up. The pheromones mixed with the scent of shampoo lingered faintly at the tip of my nose.

“The shampoo smells good.”

I fixed Lee Yoon-woo’s head with both hands and sniffed. Lee Yoon-woo, who had obediently given me his head, chuckled softly. ‘Are you a puppy…’ I heard him mutter clearly in my ear.

“If it smells good, you should wash up too. Let’s go out to eat.”

“Okay, in a little while.”

I hugged him tightly with both arms so he couldn’t escape. Lee Yoon-woo, who was trapped in my arms without being able to resist, urged me, saying, ‘Hurry up.’ But the fact that he didn’t even think of pushing me away was very Lee Yoon-woo-like.

“Aren’t you going to get a call?”

The small vibration of my cell phone interrupted my fervent groping. There was nowhere for a call to come from anyway, and I was about to go in for a kiss, pretending not to notice, when Lee Yoon-woo grabbed my face.

“It could be your parents.”

“Ah…….”

With my face still in his hands, I nodded lightly. He stroked my cheek, saying I was a good boy, and lightly pressed his lips against mine. It was a terribly tantalizing sensation, but the vibrations showed no sign of stopping, so I couldn’t hold on any longer.

“Who could it be at this hour…….”

He said it might be my parents, but there was no way they would call me at this hour. They never even texted me when I drank all night, so there was no way they would call me on a day when I even told them I was staying out.

As expected, the caller was not my parents. I frowned irritably at the caller ID on the screen. The three letters ‘Jeon Rae-hyun’ were tauntingly clear.

“Aren’t you going to answer it?”

Lee Yoon-woo, who had sidled up to me, peeked over. He must have fixed his hair in the meantime, because the parts I had messed up were neatly smoothed down. Like a chestnut. He would be dumbfounded if he heard my thoughts.

“I don’t have to answer it.”

Anyone else would be different, but about 80% of the calls from Jeon Rae-hyun were useless. He was either bored, wanted to drink, or wanted to go to a PC bang. None of those reasons were worth breaking up my time with Lee Yoon-woo.

“Another call?”

But before I could put my phone down, it rang again. This time, the name ‘Lee Ji-hoon’ appeared on the screen. Lee Yoon-woo touched the phone with his fingertip.

“Not him either?”

“He’s okay.”

They must be together. I didn’t hesitate to press the end call button. When I turned the phone over and placed it on the bedside table, he gave me a look that said I was being too much. I wouldn’t take that look from anyone else. Lee Yoon-woo clicked his tongue and picked up the phone I had put down.

“That’s why you don’t have any friends.”

Look who’s talking. I looked at him with that thought in mind. He’s one to talk, worrying about missed calls when he’s the first to ignore people when they bother him.

“Oh, another call.”

Lee Yoon-woo reacted calmly and showed me the screen. A different name was flashing on the screen than the previous two.

“It says Kang Min-seo.”

“……Give it here.”

I wouldn’t expect Jeon Rae-hyun and Lee Ji-hoon to call me for anything important, but Kang Min-seo wasn’t the type to call me for useless things. He wouldn’t call without a reason, even if it was a hassle. Very rarely, he would call because he couldn’t stand the nagging of the other two, but that was extremely rare.

“Yeah, what is it.”

―The nerve of you to answer the phone like that.

A surly voice came over the phone. It was such a testy tone that I couldn’t help but frown. If we’re just going to annoy each other, we shouldn’t even call. I suppressed a rising sigh and replied insincerely.

“I’m busy, so get to the point.”

―Busy, always so busy.

“I’m hanging up.”

―Hey, hey!

Kang Min-seo must have thought I had really hung up because I didn’t answer, and he spewed out all sorts of curses. The voice coming through the phone didn’t get any quieter even when I held the phone an inch away from my ear. Lee Yoon-woo muttered in amazement at the scathing tone.

“He could be a rapper.”

I agreed. If he’s so full of anger, he might as well do hip-hop. His hair is already light, so it would suit him.

―……What, shit. You didn’t hang up. Hey!

Kang Min-seo, who had been rapping for a while, shouted irritably. His shrill voice pierced my ears sharply. I put the phone to my ear and turned my back on Lee Yoon-woo.

“Hurry up and tell me. I’m not at home.”

―What, at this hour? Where are you if you’re not at home?

“With a friend…….”

I started off casually, then stopped abruptly. Friend, we’re not that anymore. It was such a familiar word that it almost slipped out naturally. I glanced at Lee Yoon-woo, who was thankfully sitting on the bed looking at his phone.

―Friend? Who else do you have for friends besides us?

Kang Min-seo scoffed at me as if he couldn’t believe it. He even let out a snort, then paused for a moment before spitting out reluctantly.

―……Wait, hold on.

“…….”

―You……, that, him……, no. That person?

That person. It was a title that showed signs of deliberation. Kang Min-seo was being quite polite for once.

“Hang up if you know. Don’t bother me.”

―…….

Kang Min-seo didn’t hang up and remained silent. It was about time for him to hang up, but the fact that he was still holding on meant that he must have had something important to say today. I mean, that’s why he was still holding on to the phone even while cursing.

“What’s wrong?”

In the end, I couldn’t stand the silence and asked first. As if he had been waiting for it, a sharp answer came back.

―Jeon Rae-hyun broke up.

It was a topic I was tired of hearing. He said it was for real this time. I could see exactly what he was doing. He can drink a lot, so he must be mixing all sorts of drinks and crying, saying he’s not drunk.

Sure enough, a tired voice came over the phone.

―He’s already downed six bottles of soju. He’s crying and screaming.

He really was a crazy bastard in many ways. Six bottles in the middle of the day. I feel sorry for the other guys who had to stay by his side while he was drinking. I should have just not answered the phone.

―You know he’s got this weird stubborn streak, right? He keeps asking me to drink with him, but you’re the only one who can handle his drinking.

“…….”

―Besides, he’s really sulking because you broke your promise last time.

The day I broke my promise was the day I drank with Lee Yoon-woo’s club members. I was supposed to be comforting Jeon Rae-hyun, who had just broken up, but I was swayed by Park Seong-jae’s coaxing. No, to be exact, I was hooked by the words, ‘Yoon-woo sunbae is here too, let’s go drinking together.’

―Please, just leave him with us today.

I turned to look at Lee Yoon-woo without a word. Lee Yoon-woo, who had been tapping his toes, raised his head. His dark eyes stared at me silently.

“Why?”

Leave him with them? That was ridiculous. It was obvious which one was the priority without me having to say it.

“I can’t today. You guys take care of him.”

―Ah, Choi Tae-gyeom!

“Sorry, I’ll call you later.”

―Hey, you piece of trash……!

I hung up without hesitation and put the phone down. Lee Yoon-woo, who had been watching me until then, narrowed his eyes slightly. Judging by his awkward expression, he must have heard Kang Min-seo’s last words a little too well.

“……What’s wrong?”

As expected, he couldn’t hide his worried expression. It was no wonder he was concerned, since he had heard so many harsh words. Of course, it wasn’t something Lee Yoon-woo needed to worry about.

“One of my friends broke up with his girlfriend and is drinking. He called me to ask me to drink with him.”

“Then shouldn’t you go?”

“He does this all the time, so it’s okay.”

Jeon Rae-hyun’s breakups were so frequent that they could be considered a monthly event. So Kang Min-seo must have fully expected me not to come. Still, the reason he bothered to call was simply out of ‘maybe’.

“See, no calls.”

“……I guess so.”

Lee Yoon-woo was still looking at his phone with a troubled expression. I thought I heard him muttering something about Park Seong-jae. Come to think of it, they did have a similar vibe. They’re not malicious, but they’re loud. Lee Yoon-woo and I, all the guys around us are a bunch of loudmouths.

“Your friends are really funny. They even gave you a condom.”

I was speechless at the playful tone. When I looked at him, Lee Yoon-woo gestured to the wallet on the bedside table.

“How did that get in there?”

“Oh, well…….”

It wasn’t exactly a secret. It wasn’t like there was some huge reason or meaning behind it. It was just that the three of them had heard a rumor somewhere, bought a pack, and insisted on dividing it up.

“There’s this saying that if you put a condom in your wallet, you’ll get money. They put it in there while they were talking about it, but I forgot about it and carried it around.”

“Is that so?”

Lee Yoon-woo nodded without any particular reaction. I snorted and shrugged, asking if he was getting any money. I don’t know if I’m getting any money, but I’m glad I didn’t throw it away.

“I was going to throw it away.”

I didn’t think I would ever need it. Even when they were bragging about buying a large size, I didn’t feel anything and let it go in one ear and out the other. In the first place, when they were talking about condoms, I had already declared that I would forget about Lee Yoon-woo.

“I’m glad you didn’t throw it away.”

Lee Yoon-woo smiled faintly and reached out to me. When I took a step closer, his arm wrapped around my waist.

“I thought they gave it to you to use with me.”

“……They’re not that crazy.”

To be exact, they were crazy, but they weren’t rude. If they were, I wouldn’t have gotten along with them in the first place.

“Your friends thought we were dating.”

“When?”

I gently stroked his small head. His half-dry hair was now quite calm. He leaned his head against my chest and spoke calmly.

“The day after we slept together, they took me to your classroom.”

“…….”

I don’t know why I keep losing my words. Lee Yoon-woo was being indirect, but the reason he came to find me that day was because I was ignoring his calls. I wondered how he found my classroom, but it turned out those guys were the culprits.

“He said you were treating him well, and that he’s never seen you date anyone before.”

“They said that?”

“Yeah, what about that guy from the Japanese Literature Department who confessed to you?”

“……They said that too?”

It wasn’t important that I didn’t remember the ‘guy from the Japanese Literature Department’ that Lee Yoon-woo was talking about. What was important was what kind of conversation led to that kind of talk. I knew the three of them were always talking nonsense, but I didn’t think they would do that in front of Lee Yoon-woo, whom they were meeting for the first time.

“They were really crazy.”

Lee Yoon-woo chuckled and looked up at me. His eyes, which he had raised slightly, were cute in a way that didn’t fit the situation. When I pressed my lips against his thin eyelids, a deep smile spread across his face.

“I don’t know how you became friends…….”

“We’re not that close.”

“Your friends are crying.”

“Let them cry.”

Well, one of them was already crying from the pain of a breakup.

“Let’s shower and stop by my place before we go out.”

“Why your place?”

“I need to change my clothes.”

I had come out in such a hurry yesterday that I had come out in the same clothes I had been wearing at home. It wasn’t a particularly strange outfit, but I couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable in my workout clothes. I couldn’t dress up too much, but I wanted to at least change my pants.

“Still, it’s a date, so you should dress properly.”

Lee Yoon-woo drooped his eyelashes at the word ‘date’. Judging by his softly relaxed eyes, he seemed to be excited as well. Even though his facial expressions didn’t change much, his mood was revealed in his gaze and gestures.

I gently stroked Lee Yoon-woo’s face and narrowed my eyes.

“Should we eat and watch a movie?”

Whenever I smiled like this, he would look at me with eyes that sparkled more than ever. I don’t know for sure, but my face must have been exactly to his liking. My pretty face had never been helpful, but if Lee Yoon-woo liked it, I liked it too.

“Is there anything good to watch?”

“Well, the sequel to the movie we saw in high school came out.”

What to eat, what to do after that. I was excited about the prospect of a fun time. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t seem to be thinking about his friends anymore, so all that was left was to spend time alone together.

“Then take a shower and come out. I’ll look it up.”

I’ll feed him something delicious and then feed him popcorn at the movie theater. He’s not very good at multitasking, so if I feed him, he’ll eat it like a baby bird. And then, if I put my finger in his mouth as a joke, I wanted to see his surprised face.

“Okay, I’ll be waiting.”

My heart was pounding for no reason. I hadn’t felt this way since I gave Lee Yoon-woo a stolen kiss when I was a kid. Like someone experiencing the feeling of love for the first time, my mouth felt full of sweetness.

Back then, I had no doubt that today would be a time for just the two of us. The first morning I was spending with Lee Yoon-woo, not as a friend. I thought it wouldn’t be romantic, but it would be cozy. Little did I know that the day would be so noisy.

* * *

“You really don’t know, Yoon-woo, huh?”

“That’s right, you don’t know how rude this bastard is.”

A sigh rose to the tip of my chin. I looked around Lee Ji-hoon’s apartment and frowned. The neatly arranged soju bottles, the chicken with only the legs eaten, and the carelessly torn snack bags were all a mess.

“Even today! He wasn’t going to come until the end!”

In the meantime, the clueless guys raised their bottles again. Amid the back-and-forth of the glasses, Lee Yoon-woo raised a paper cup with both hands. I can say with certainty that the liquid inside was definitely soju.

“Choi Tae-gyeom’s rudeness is famous…….”

How did this happen?

Just a few hours ago, I was excited about going out with Lee Yoon-woo. Although we couldn’t reserve a movie because there were no seats available, and we ordered delivery food because the time was awkward, it was still fun because I was with Lee Yoon-woo. We could watch a movie next time, and the meal was delicious enough.

‘It’s Friday, so there will be a lot of people, do you want to stay home?’

Then, suddenly, he suggested in a light voice. I was just about to hug Lee Yoon-woo and shower him with kisses. He gently grabbed my arm and added.

‘If we have fun, it would be nice if you stayed another night.’

It was an incredibly attractive offer. Yeah, there’s no need to go out on a date. There are many advantages to being at home. I nodded, thinking that, but this time, an even more tempting offer came back.

‘Should we go to the convenience store?’

“……Haa.”

I shouldn’t have gone to the convenience store then. I had no idea that going to digest would lead to this kind of ending. I never imagined that these guys would be at that convenience store of all the convenience stores.

‘Isn’t that Choi Tae-gyeom?’

It was my unlucky day. The three of them were picking out alcohol at the convenience store that Lee Yoon-woo and I arrived at. No wonder there was no bar open at this hour, and it was strange that they were drinking in the middle of the day. Why did I forget that Lee Ji-hoon’s apartment was also in the one-room village near the school?

‘Choi Tae-gyeom!’

Cluelessly, Jeon Rae-hyun spoke to me as soon as he saw me. The guy, who was a head shorter than me, had swollen eyes like someone who had just broken up. He had a face that a goldfish would want to be friends with.

‘Oh? Hello.’

Jeon Rae-hyun greeted Lee Yoon-woo politely, even though he was reeking of alcohol. The other guys, who had been standing at a distance and watching, slowly approached us.

I started to feel uneasy then. Lee Ji-hoon and Kang Min-seo were talking to Lee Yoon-woo, and Lee Yoon-woo was accepting it without a word. And the three of them were openly avoiding my gaze.

‘We’re going to our apartment to drink, would you like to join us?’

Lee Ji-hoon, who was usually quick-witted, ignored me more than anyone else today. He must have been having a very hard time dealing with Jeon Rae-hyun all morning. Since he was a relatively smart guy, he must have thought it was better to persuade Lee Yoon-woo than to persuade me.

‘Good! Let’s drink together. If Tae-gyeom is your friend, then you’re our friend too.’

‘That’s right, we can hang out together.’

Jeon Rae-hyun and Kang Min-seo didn’t miss this opportunity and added a word each. They shut their mouths as soon as I glared at them, but they were more brazen than usual because they had had a drink or two.

Of course, I was going to push them away before Lee Yoon-woo got into trouble. There was no way he, who was so shy, would want to drink with strangers. And more than anything, I didn’t want our time alone to be interrupted.

‘We’re…….’

‘I’m in.’

But before I could say anything, Lee Yoon-woo opened his mouth. He put down the snacks he was holding and looked at the three of them in turn.

‘I heard his boyfriend broke up with him, so I should listen to him.’

After that, everything went smoothly. Lee Ji-hoon said that since I was joining, they needed a case of alcohol, so he brought soju, and Kang Min-seo brought beer. Jeon Rae-hyun, with his unique friendliness, was asking Lee Yoon-woo if there were any snacks he wanted to eat.

“Here, Yoon-woo, have another drink!”

And now. Everyone except me was flushed and drunk. Kang Min-seo was half sprawled on the floor, picking up snacks to eat, and Jeon Rae-hyun was constantly urging others to drink. Lee Ji-hoon, the host, was at least trying to tidy up, but he was also staggering around with his glasses on upside down.

“Stop giving him drinks.”

I snatched the paper cup from Lee Yoon-woo’s hand and warned Jeon Rae-hyun. Lee Yoon-woo, who had suddenly lost his drink, grabbed my sleeve, pleading.

“I’m okay.”

Okay my ass, just looking at his unfocused eyes, he was twice as drunk as he was in the alleyway yesterday.

“Look at me.”

Lee Yoon-woo obediently turned to look at me. His usually sharp eyes were now half-covered by his eyelids.

“Open your eyes properly.”

“I did.”

“Are you sure you opened them properly?”

“Yeah.”

His usually faint inner double eyelid had become thick on his left eye only. His eyelashes fluttered, as if he was trying to put strength into his eyelids. His cheeks were flushed, and his eyes blinked slowly; he looked every bit like a drunk person.

“You’re completely wasted.”

I should have stopped him when he was sipping soju one or two glasses at a time. I was just fascinated by the sight of Lee Yoon-woo drinking, and he was a little cute. I let him be, not even realizing when his honorific speech turned informal. Actually, even his tipsy appearance was cute, but I didn’t like the idea of everyone seeing it.

“Wow, that bastard’s eyes are dripping honey.”

Kang Min-seo, who was lying flat on his back, waved his hand. He was holding a snack in his hand that was a similar color to his hair.

“You could dip it in and eat it, you could dip it in and eat it.”

Crumbs of the snack fell. I shouldn’t invite these guys over even if I live on my own later. It was a thought that Lee Ji-hoon would feel wronged if he heard it.

“So, when we’re drunk, we’re a mess, but when Yoon-woo’s drunk, he’s cute enough to die for?”

“Hey, hey. You’ll make a mistake like last time.”

“What did I dooo.”

Kang Min-seo pushed Lee Ji-hoon away as he abruptly raised his upper body. As expected of the guy with the lowest alcohol tolerance, he was the first to get drunk. To make matters worse, his out-of-control Alpha pheromone was starting to creep out.

“Clean up your pheromones before you talk.”

The other guys were Betas, so it was okay, but Kang Min-seo was an Alpha, even if he was recessive. In such a confined space, this close, Lee Yoon-woo would also be exposed to the pheromones.

“Pheromones? Who would know besides you… Ah.”

Kang Min-seo, who had been muttering, exclaimed and contorted his face. Then, he put a snack in his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut before opening them.

“Right… Omega, you said. Sorry.”

He grudgingly suppressed his pheromones. Just in case, I checked on Lee Yoon-woo, but thankfully, he seemed fine. It seemed that since they were both recessive, the effect on each other was minimal.

The problem was that Jeon Rae-hyun had approached and was talking nonsense to Lee Yoon-woo.

“Yoon-woo, do you know Choi Tae-gyeom’s nickname?”

“Hey, don’t talk nonsense.”

I felt like I knew what he was going to say next without even having to hear it. It was that nickname that Jeon Rae-hyun spread around whenever he drank. The one the seniors used to call him when he was a freshman, that bastard was stubbornly carrying on.

“Whyyy, Yoon-woo has a right to know.”

What right to know? I didn’t want to tell Lee Yoon-woo that embarrassing nickname. I was so embarrassed when I got a similar nickname in high school.

“Oh, I know that.”

But Lee Yoon-woo raised the corners of his mouth pleasantly and placed his hand on my head. The guy rummaged through the back of my head with clumsy movements and met my eyes squarely. The four letters I didn’t want him to know popped out of his mouth.

“Business Administration God?”

“……”

Just who the hell spread the rumors to the English Department? And where did Lee Yoon-woo hear only those kinds of things and remember them so well? I wanted to ask who told him, but his expression was so proud that I couldn’t open my mouth.

“Puhaha! Look at Choi Tae-gyeom’s face! He would have cursed if we had said it.”

“Wow, even the English major knows about it. It was worth spreading the rumors so diligently.”

Kang Min-seo and Jeon Rae-hyun exchanged proud glances. Only Lee Ji-hoon, who was still relatively sober, whispered to me, loud enough for me to hear, ‘Yoon-woo, he hates that nickname.’ Lee Yoon-woo leaned his head on my shoulder as if he didn’t know what was going on.

“You don’t like Business Administration God?”

His awkwardly touching gaze was blurry but affectionate. Lee Yoon-woo’s hand came to rest neatly on my thigh.

“It’s because you’re handsome, why don’t you like it?”

“……Yeah, I don’t dislike it.”

I let out a faint chuckle and stroked Lee Yoon-woo’s cheek. His warm skin felt good in my palm. What could I do when this guy said that? I just had to let it go.

“Hmm……”

Lee Yoon-woo rubbed his face against my palm with a languid expression. Occasionally, his soft lips brushed against it. If there weren’t so many eyes watching, I would want to squeeze him as much as I wanted and kiss him, but having to hold back like this was torture.

“But… why aren’t you getting drunk?”

“I didn’t drink much.”

“No, you did……”

Lee Yoon-woo shook his head, whining in response. Seriously, he was so cute. Should I just pick him up and take him home? They’re all drunk anyway, so they probably wouldn’t even notice if I left now…….

As if mocking my worries, Jeon Rae-hyun opened his mouth brightly.

“I’ve never seen him get drunk!”

Starting with Jeon Rae-hyun’s words, the three guys complained. They said they almost died trying to see him get drunk, and that 80% of his body must be made of alcohol. Amid the usual nonsense, Lee Yoon-woo tilted his head slightly.

“I’ve seen him drunk.”

I flinched and stiffened my mouth. Lee Yoon-woo, who let out a soft laugh, looked at me with hazy eyes.

“He was so drunk he couldn’t even stand.”

I felt a stinging gaze. It was the gaze of the three guys, excluding Lee Yoon-woo. I looked at them in turn, conveying the meaning of ‘What are you looking at,’ but the drunk guys were more courageous than ever.

“……How much did he drink?”

Lee Ji-hoon, who asked calmly, openly avoided my gaze. Lee Yoon-woo estimated the height with his thumb and middle finger, then slightly frowned one eye.

“500cc… in a glass, soju and beer… about this much?”

“That’s one glass?”

Jeon Rae-hyun asked back in an absurd tone. Unlike Lee Ji-hoon, he didn’t avoid my gaze and instead made a dumbfounded expression. Lee Yoon-woo straightened his posture and shook his head.

“No, not just one glass, he drank a little more.”

“That bastard could drink ten glasses of that and not get drunk?”

“Ten glasses?”

Lee Yoon-woo’s gaze shifted to me. I relaxed my eyes and lowered them slightly. His flushed cheeks were so tempting that I wanted to bite them.

“You can drink ten glasses of that and not get drunk?”

Ten glasses, ten glasses. I’ve never had it with beer, but I’ve had it with soju. With that much, I could even take a major exam afterward.

“What are you talking about.”

I carefully touched Lee Yoon-woo’s cheek and raised the corners of my mouth. As I looked around in that state, the three guys contorted their faces every time our eyes met.

“Of course, a normal person would get drunk.”

I didn’t bother to lie. Even if Lee Yoon-woo found out I was lying, he wouldn’t scold me. He would just laugh as if he was dumbfounded and say, ‘I knew it.’ It wasn’t like I was embarrassed about pretending to be drunk now.

“Really?”

“Yeah, don’t listen to them.”

But still, the way he believed my words so readily was cute. The way he looked up at me innocently, the way he blinked his eyes slowly, and even the way he nodded his head filled my heart.

“Right, a normal person would get drunk……”

Lee Yoon-woo trailed off and rubbed his face against my hand. Then, he met my eyes and smiled faintly. At the same time his eyes curved softly, a soft sensation touched my palm.

“……”

“I’m sleepy, Tae-gyeom.”

Chu, an embarrassing sound spread. Even without turning my head, I knew that the other guys’ mouths were wide open. Without a word, I reached out my arms, and Lee Yoon-woo obediently snuggled into my embrace.

“……Take a nap, I’ll take you home.”

“Yeah……”

I heard even, soft breaths. Every time I stroked his back once, twice, the body in my arms gradually lost strength. I thought he was drinking a lot, and it turned out that the end of his drinking habit was a good night’s sleep. It was a very docile drunken habit.

“……What is it.”

The owner of the sullen voice was Kang Min-seo. Kang Min-seo looked back and forth between Lee Yoon-woo and me, unable to hide his embarrassment. It wasn’t just Kang Min-seo; Jeon Rae-hyun and Lee Ji-hoon were the same.

“Did you kiss……?”

“……It must be a drinking habit.”

What should I do? I was wondering whether to talk about it or not. If I left it as it was, it would pass naturally, but there was no need to hide this relationship. But if I said, ‘That’s not a drinking habit,’ I would be too burdened by the attention that would follow.

But while I was choosing an answer, Kang Min-seo blurted out directly.

“Are you dating?”

The sharp question cut through the silence and flew at me. As expected of the guy with the best intuition among the three, his face was full of conviction. I held Lee Yoon-woo up straight and looked at his sleeping face. The area around his cheeks was still flushed reddish.

“……Yeah.”

We didn’t say ‘Let’s date,’ but we stopped being friends. We exchanged words of liking, and I even confessed my love once. We slept together, exchanged morning greetings, and planned dates together. If this wasn’t dating, then what was?

“We decided to date.”

A smile hung on my lips. I knew it was foolish, but I couldn’t stop my expression from softening. Holding Lee Yoon-woo in my arms and being able to be sure of our relationship was so overwhelming that I couldn’t help but feel moved.

Jeon Rae-hyun swallowed hard and looked at me carefully. Then, with an expression that showed the alcohol had worn off, he opened his mouth.

“Since when?”

“Yesterday.”

A sense of dismay crossed Jeon Rae-hyun’s face. He was a good-natured guy, so I could see what he was thinking. He called me out because I broke up, but I must have felt sorry that I had just started dating.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have bothered you on your date……”

As expected, he rolled his eyes around and apologized. I reassured Lee Yoon-woo and replied casually.

“What are you sorry for, Yoon-woo was the one who wanted to come.”

To be honest, it would be a lie if I said I didn’t think it was a nuisance. But it was okay because Lee Yoon-woo seemed to have had fun. Rather, I should be the one who’s sorry for being like this in front of a guy who just broke up.

“Don’t apologize. Since when have we cared about that kind of thing?”

“Still, you……”

Jeon Rae-hyun hesitated and swallowed the rest of his words, frowning. The rest of the unspoken words flowed from Lee Ji-hoon’s mouth.

“You liked her a lot.”

“……”

I looked down at Lee Yoon-woo without a word. His round head wriggled and burrowed into my arms. I fixed my gaze on Lee Yoon-woo and murmured calmly.

“Was it that obvious?”

“What are you talking about, you didn’t even try to hide it.”

Kang Min-seo, who replied curtly, threw a snack.

“How could it not be obvious when you treat him so differently? You charge forward without looking back whenever he’s around.”

“That’s right, it would be weird if we didn’t know.”

“……You didn’t think we knew, did you?”

“No, well……”

I didn’t particularly remember trying to hide my feelings. I restrained myself in front of Lee Yoon-woo, but I didn’t feel the need to hide it in front of other people. However, I just wondered if I had shown the magnitude of my emotions to the point that this kind of reaction would come back.

“You usually don’t even go to drinking parties, but it was strange that you went whenever the location overlapped with the English Department.”

Kang Min-seo started talking as if he was muttering. He rubbed his eyes, which were still drunk, with the back of his hand.

“Well, I thought it was because you had a childhood friend.”

I occasionally talked about Lee Yoon-woo after I became friends with them. I have a childhood friend. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him. We went to elementary, middle, and high school together, and although he’s a re-taker, he came to the same university. Whenever I felt like it would rot if I left it like this, I would open it up like a breath of fresh air a few times.

“It’s not like you don’t know his number, it’s not like you don’t know where he lives, it’s not like you don’t know his major, so I wondered why you were doing that?”

“……”

“But lo and behold, you went crazy as soon as you met him.”

I could only describe it as going crazy. The day I reunited with Lee Yoon-woo after five years, it was as if my reason had flown away the moment I saw him. If the words ‘Let’s go out and talk’ had come out just one second later, I don’t know what I would have done on the spot.

“Why didn’t you contact him first when you liked him so much?”

The three people had an expression that they didn’t understand. In fact, I had heard the same question several times in the past. Why don’t you contact him first, why don’t you go to see him, what is the reason for hoping for a meeting only by chance?

Come to think of it, Lee Yoon-woo, who I reunited with after five years, said something similar. He said he was sorry for avoiding me, but what was I doing not contacting him either. He seemed a little wronged, and a little sad. It was a cruel act, not knowing what kind of five years I had spent.

“Just……”

I started quietly and rummaged through my memories. I didn’t have to think for long; the events of that time were as clear as yesterday.

“Because I was scared.”

The last winter of my nineteen years. Lee Yoon-woo didn’t come to school after the day of the college entrance exam. I heard that he had a bad fever, and he was so sick that he couldn’t even go out for a light outing, let alone take the exam. I went to visit him out of concern, but his parents only repeated the words, ‘Go back, you might catch it.’

“I was scared, so I did that.”

At first, I was just worried. I couldn’t concentrate on anything, and I dreamed of losing Lee Yoon-woo every other day. I would rather see his face, but even that wasn’t possible, so I dried up instead of him.

Then, I started to think it was strange. His parents went to work too casually for their son to be sick. Usually, they would ask for a favor from our house, but at that time, there was no word from them. They even subtly avoided talking about Lee Yoon-woo to me, who was standing in front of the gate.

So, I kept feeling uneasy. What if he wasn’t sick? What if he wasn’t worried about catching it, but he told me he didn’t want to see me? Then, what should I do?

One day, two days, three days. Christmas passed, winter vacation started, and winter vacation ended after the New Year. Lee Yoon-woo, who hadn’t shown a single strand of hair, finally came to school on graduation day.

‘Hey, I heard Lee Yoon-woo came to school?’

‘Really? Is he not sick anymore?’

‘I don’t know, his face is completely gaunt…….’

As soon as I heard the name Lee Yoon-woo, I went to find him in his class. As soon as I ran across the hallway and opened the front door, I saw Lee Yoon-woo’s haggard face.

‘Lee Yoon-woo!’

He had lost so much weight that his well-fitting uniform was loose. The nape of his neck and wrists, which were exposed outside his uniform, were thinner than they had been a few months ago. Various thoughts were mixed up in my mind at the sight.

‘……’

The thought that he might have really been sick, the thought that I was upset that he came to school without saying anything, the thought that this might be a dream, and the thought that I missed him like crazy. Emotions that flooded like a flood burst out along with my pheromones.

‘……You.’

It wasn’t easy to continue speaking because my emotions were so intense. The pheromones that burst out, ulk, ulk, poured out directly towards Lee Yoon-woo. The Omegas in the classroom inhaled and looked at me.

‘What the hell have you been doing all this time……’

Thump! I heard a loud noise. It was the sound of a chair falling backward in a mess. Lee Yoon-woo, who had been sitting there until just now, stood up from his seat with a stiff expression.

‘……I’m sorry, but.’

Bad premonitions are rarely wrong. Most of the thoughts I didn’t want to be true were also conclusions based on facts. Lee Yoon-woo’s gaze, his gestures, and his atmosphere, all of them cruelly notified me.

‘I’m not feeling well…….’

It was right to avoid me.

‘I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right back.’

He was really avoiding me.

‘See you later.’

I instinctively reached out my hand and reflexively grabbed him. It was because of a ridiculous premonition that if I didn’t grab him now, I might lose him forever. Then, when I flinched in surprise at the wrist that was caught in one hand, he roughly shook off my hand.

‘……Ah, sorry.’

It was a clear rejection. He staggered back, and before I could grab him again, he ran out of the classroom. My hand fell helplessly at the sight of his back disappearing as if he was running away.

‘……’

It felt like the sky was falling. Not just a cliché, but the world that was Lee Yoon-woo collapsed in a corner of my heart. Thud, thud, the heart that fell to the floor scattered like dust and returned as breath.

“…Ha.”

The gaze that was always directed at me doesn’t even reach my chin. Lee Yoon-woo, who always smiled kindly, pushes me away with a pale face. The guy who used to fall while looking back at me, this time, only showed his black back as he walked away.

The feeling of being rejected was chilling to the bone. Countless guesses and assumptions sharply tore through my stomach. And soon, my coldly cooled head left only one conclusion.

“I thought you found out I liked you.”

You knew my feelings. You noticed that this feeling was different from yours. The terrifyingly grown affection was finally caught.

“So I thought you were uncomfortable with me.”

It felt like I was dumped.

He didn’t say anything, but at that moment, I glimpsed the end of this relationship. Even if not now, a similar situation might happen someday. If that time comes, will I really be able to let Lee Yoon-woo go? There was nothing I could be sure of.

I returned to our classroom in a daze and went through the graduation ceremony in a daze. While comforting myself that all of this was just a misunderstanding, I couldn’t shake the thought that it was all over. There were too many actions that made me realize my feelings to say, ‘There’s no way you know I like you.’

So it just, ended there. That graduation ceremony was the first day we didn’t take a picture together, and Lee Yoon-woo soon entered a cram school for repeaters. After even the only means of communication, the cell phone, disappeared, I could only wait.

“But I thought you’d contact me as soon as the college entrance exam was over.”

Lee Yoon-woo, held in my arms, tossed and turned with a faint groan. It seemed uncomfortable to be leaning while sitting. I should take him home soon. I thought so and let out a hollow laugh.

“Who knew it would take five years?”

The time without Lee Yoon-woo flowed slowly but quickly. Let’s wait until the end of the re-sit, let’s wait until the announcement of acceptance, the year changed, let’s wait until the day exactly one year from graduation. Even at the end of the forced blank, I didn’t get a call, and I slowly gave up waiting.

So the last choice I made was the military. If Lee Yoon-woo was avoiding me, I had to find a way to stay by his side somehow. I was going to give up my feelings for two years and go back to being friends. I also had the hope that if he heard I went to the military, he would show his face at least once.

But he didn’t show his face even once until I was discharged. When I came out on vacation from time to time to find him, I returned home with the lights on in his window.

“Honestly, I was a little sad.”

I just like you, but was even that heart heavy for you? Or is there something else I don’t know? I wanted to know at least what I did wrong.

“How can you go to the military as soon as I get discharged?”

The moment I heard the news of Lee Yoon-woo’s enlistment, I felt a sense of betrayal that couldn’t be compared to anything before. His blatant act of running away felt like a determination to put an end to our relationship. My stomach was a mess, and even my eyes were darkened.

“But I was afraid that if I forced contact, we wouldn’t even be able to stay friends.”

School life without Lee Yoon-woo was more painful than I thought. He wasn’t there even before I went to the military, but this time, the traces left in the school were different. I instinctively wandered around the English department, and I heard news of Lee Yoon-woo without having to ask.

I heard various rumors about him during the year he was gone. He’s quiet like he looks, it’s hard to get close to him, he buys his juniors food well, he’s more kind than I thought, and he’s more friendly than I thought. The words I heard in passing were enough to amplify my longing for Lee Yoon-woo.

So before I became a junior, I took a leave of absence from school without any preparation. It wasn’t to get a certificate or to earn tuition. I just wanted to go to school with Lee Yoon-woo. If our relationship recovers after he’s discharged, I want to graduate together at least this time.

“…Choi Tae-gyeom of all people is saying all sorts of things.”

Kang Min-seo, who spoke in an absurd voice, clicked his tongue. Then, he exchanged glances with the other two guys and waved his hand harshly.

“Hey, take him in first. If you keep drinking and get drunk too, there’s no answer.”

It was very Kang Min-seo-like consideration. Knowing that I don’t get drunk easily, he adds words that don’t need to be said because he feels bad for sending me off empty-handed. Even his crumpled face was clearly a means to endure embarrassment.

“Yeah, it’s better to go first.”

“That’s right, there’s no more alcohol left.”

Lee Ji-hoon and Jeon Rae-hyun didn’t miss the opportunity and added. They even started to get up, as if they really intended to send me away. I looked at the staggering guys and took care of Lee Yoon-woo without refusing.

“Do I need to wake him up?”

“You can carry him on your back.”

While I was putting on Lee Yoon-woo’s shoes and carrying him on my back, the three guys took turns asking questions. Where Lee Yoon-woo’s house is, whether it’s too heavy to carry on my back. After hearing that his place is close from here and not very heavy, they nodded satisfactorily.

“Go carefully.”

Lee Ji-hoon, who opened the front door, stepped aside. I straightened Lee Yoon-woo once more and looked at Jeon Rae-hyun.

“Come to think of it, I didn’t hear about your breakup.”

The purpose of this drinking party was to ‘comfort Jeon Rae-hyun’, but somehow the result turned out like this. I didn’t hear anything properly about why he broke up, or how he broke up.

“Hey, there’s nothing special. Is this the first or second time this guy’s broken up?”

“…I’m suddenly getting angry.”

The giggling was pleasant. Jeon Rae-hyun frowned and replied, ‘It was just one of the common breakups, and I feel better after drinking.’ As if he wasn’t someone who breaks up every time, his recovery was also fast.

“I’m going first.”

I was glad that I became friends with those guys after coming to college. They were a little clueless and noisy, but even that was useful when I needed to change my mood.

Thud, even after the front door closed, I could hear them talking happily.

* * *

It seems I stayed at Lee Ji-hoon’s place longer than I thought. When I came out of the house, the dark sky was welcoming Lee Yoon-woo and me. If the days hadn’t gotten longer recently, it would have been as black as midnight.

Lee Yoon-woo didn’t wake up until I returned to his place and laid him on the bed. His limp body was heavier than I thought, but the warmth from his back was enough to make me forget all that. Of course, the breath touching my neck made it difficult for me in a different sense.

“Umm…”

Lee Yoon-woo, who was lying straight, tossed and turned and turned over. His tightly closed lips moved adorably. I tapped his rosy lips and lowered my head to hold back a laugh.

“…Really, Lee Yoon-woo.”

There are cases in movies or dramas where people use their loved one’s birthday as the password for the door lock. Security aside, I couldn’t imagine how embarrassed the person who found out would be.

But the moment I arrived at Lee Yoon-woo’s place and saw the locked door, my fingers moved without me realizing it. I bent down to support Lee Yoon-woo and pressed the door lock with one hand. Beep, beep, beep, beep. The four digits representing the date were wrong, but the six digits with the year were correct.

How could you have such a cute idea? The moment I heard the sound of the lock being released, my body reacted even though I knew it was perverted. Was this the reason why you were looking around while entering the password on the day Lee Yoon-woo had his heat cycle?

“How can you do this…”

It was amazing that a person could like another person this much. He just fell asleep drunk, but his sleeping face is so precious. I stroked his hair and gently rubbed his eyes and cheeks, and my heart was beating loudly.

I don’t know how I was going to give up on a guy like this. If I stay still, he sends me glances, and if our eyes meet, he smiles kindly. From childhood until now, he’s always been telling me with his whole body that I’m precious.

I lay down next to Lee Yoon-woo, hugged him, and released my pheromones. It was the first time since I developed as an Alpha that I released my pheromones to my heart’s content. I couldn’t even spray it as much as I wanted to Lee Yoon-woo, who couldn’t develop, let alone others. Because he’s not ‘my Lee Yoon-woo’, but ‘Lee Yoon-woo, my friend’. I thought I had to endure it somehow.

But now there was nothing to hold back. Lee Yoon-woo is my Omega, and he’s even deeply asleep from being drunk. It couldn’t be a more perfect time to mark my territory. The only thing I regret is that Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromones are gradually fading.

Since he was with me until the morning, there were very few pheromones left in the house. The pheromones I suppressed were overwhelmingly stronger than the pheromones Lee Yoon-woo usually emits. That’s how much it is just by staying still, but when I started pouring it out in earnest, all traces were devoured.

If I could, I wanted to devour even Lee Yoon-woo himself like this. I wanted to soak him in my pheromones and control him from head to toe as I pleased. Lee Yoon-woo insisted that I couldn’t do it, but I’ve already imagined that scene several times.

“You’re too soft on me.”

His neatly closed eyes frowned slightly. It wasn’t because he heard me, but because of the pheromones that were rushing in.

“Ugh…”

Lee Yoon-woo wriggled and clung to me. His lower body was tightly pressed against me, and his flushed breath touched my neck. Whether he was drinking pheromones or not, his occasionally fluttering lips were also so stimulating that my head went blank.

“Good boy…”

I gently stroked his back. He trembled every time my hand touched him, but it didn’t seem enough to wake him up. Lee Yoon-woo, still drunk and asleep, just kept clinging to me and didn’t lift his eyelids.

I hope you always wear my pheromones. I wanted everyone to know that Lee Yoon-woo is mine even while I’m not there. I didn’t want to show Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromones, which are always fragrant, to anyone other than me.

‘If you can’t handle Lee Yoon-woo’s pheromones, don’t be presumptuous.’

When Lee Yoon-woo had his heat cycle, Kim Do-hyun’s face clearly showed that he was reacting to the pheromones. I heard in passing that he was a Dominant Alpha, so if a Dominant Alpha is like that, it means that his pheromones are objectively pretty good.

I wish all of this was just my rose-colored glasses. I wish that Lee Yoon-woo looking pretty, feeling lovely, and having attractive pheromones were all just for me.

I buried my nose in Lee Yoon-woo’s hair to find even the remaining pheromones. As soon as I took a deep breath, I felt Lee Yoon-woo along with various smells.

“…Yoon-woo, are you asleep?”

The smell of alcohol mixed with pheromones showed how drunk he was. Judging from the fact that pheromones weren’t flowing out, it seemed like he was deeply asleep even in his sleep. The emotions that welled up burst out through the tip of my tongue.

“I love you.”

His lips met slowly. I love you, Yoon-woo. That short confession was conveyed through everything that touched. It was a complete heart, with all the anxiety gone.

Continued in the next volume