4 – Seeping Spring Rain (2)

What would it feel like if the spot next to you, which shouldn’t be empty, was empty when you opened your eyes?

“…….”

Ki Young-han, with a stiff face, managed to open just one eye. He had definitely slept facing the ceiling, but when he opened his eyes, he was lying on his side. The tired creases on his face slowly smoothed out, and his expression cooled.

Yoon Ye-jun, who should have been sleeping next to him, was not there. His absence clearly meant that Yoon Ye-jun had woken up before him. That wasn’t the problem. However, when Ki Young-han woke up, he had been looking towards the side. Yoon Ye-jun waking up first also meant that Yoon Ye-jun had seen Ki Young-han sleeping, facing him.

Ki Young-han, staring at the empty spot with a stiff expression, pushed himself up using the bed. He was only wearing his underwear. He had stayed up late doing various things and slept later than usual, so he was quite tired. Whatever. Who cares. He could have just slept. His pride was hurt, and he seethed inwardly, but he tried to calm himself.

Ki Young-han covered both his eyes with one hand and got out of bed.

He was about to head straight for the bathroom, but as soon as he opened the door, he stopped dead at the bedroom entrance. The anger that had been simmering inside him instantly subsided.

“Are you eating again?”

“…….”

Yoon Ye-jun was standing in the kitchen. At the same time, steam rose in a straight line from the rice cooker, which was usually just a useless item as it wasn’t used often. Hiss, hiss….

“…Did you think I was just going to let you go?”

Yoon Ye-jun said playfully, maintaining a faint smile on his lips. Faced with that smiling face, Ki Young-han immediately turned his head. He wanted to argue, but he had nothing to say. He wanted to ask if Yoon Ye-jun had seen him sleeping, but he felt Yoon Ye-jun would look at him with a bewildered expression.

“Do you want to eat too?”

Yoon Ye-jun asked, unaware of Ki Young-han’s thoughts. Ki Young-han vaguely nodded and went into the bathroom. He looked at his reflection in the mirror, his face etched with fatigue.

“What is this.”

Ki Young-han rubbed the reddish marks under his collarbone with his fingers. But they wouldn’t disappear. Rubbing the bruise-like marks made his pale skin flush red. Ki Young-han knew what these marks were. His expression crumpled instantly, and he flung the door open. Yoon Ye-jun, who was taking out side dishes from the refrigerator, turned around with a surprised look.

“Why did you make marks on me without permission?”

He murmured in a chilling voice. A wrinkle appeared between Yoon Ye-jun’s usually smooth brows.

“Ha.”

Ki Young-han’s face grew even more somber with the short sigh. Sighing and acting like a jerk. Curses boiled up inside him.

“Ki Young-han.”

“Yes?”

As he answered, Yoon Ye-jun pulled up the t-shirt he was wearing. Ki Young-han’s eyes widened at the sudden action. But he couldn’t say anything. Bite marks and kiss marks, as if he’d been gnawed on, were tangled on Yoon Ye-jun’s chest and sides.

“…….”

Ki Young-han remained silent. It wasn’t possible that Yoon Ye-jun had made them alone, so he was the only culprit. He shifted his gaze. He just stared at the plain white wallpaper.

What was the point of showing it? He could have just said it. But with the evidence presented like this, he couldn’t say anything.

Unlike Ki Young-han, who couldn’t continue speaking as if his lips were locked, the victor added, as if it were no big deal.

“I didn’t say anything even though I was like this.”

“…….”

“Hurry up and wash up. I have to go to class.”

Tsk. Ki Young-han, having nothing to say, only smacked his lips and walked back into the bathroom.

“What time is your first class?”

Yoon Ye-jun asked while they were eating together. Ki Young-han replied perfunctorily.

“Ten thirty.”

“Oh, me too. Are you going to Sagadae?”

“Yes.”

“We can go together then.”

Did anyone ask you to take me? Ki Young-han twitched his nose, but if he said that, Yoon Ye-jun would surely retort, ‘I never asked you to take me,’ so he didn’t add anything.

Still, after spending two months together, he had learned a few things about him.

Yoon Ye-jun, despite only pretending to be nice, was a master at leaving people speechless. He himself had never been one to lose an argument, but Yoon Ye-jun could leave even him speechless. He didn’t seem to have much logic, but he somehow managed to win.

“…….”

Ki Young-han rested his spoon, which had been bringing food to his mouth, on the bowl. He stared intently at Yoon Ye-jun, who was eating silently. Yoon Ye-jun, despite looking like he had a small appetite, ate well. Where does all that food go instead of turning into fat? Ki Young-han couldn’t take his eyes off Yoon Ye-jun, who was eating side dishes with his mouth wide open.

“You’re eating well,” he said, his voice coming out in a different tone than his thoughts.

“Did a starving ghost possess you?”

Ki Young-han thought Yoon Ye-jun looked like a greedy hamster. Yoon Ye-jun’s cheeks were puffed out, yet he reached for side dishes with his chopsticks. Even now, when Ki Young-han spoke, he chewed his food and made eye contact.

They stared at each other in silence for a long time. Yoon Ye-jun had a lot in his mouth. Yoon Ye-jun chewed thoroughly and swallowed. He rinsed his mouth with water and replied.

“It’s been a long time since I’ve had home-cooked meals.”

“…….”

This again left him speechless.

“I usually buy food from convenience stores or at best, eat at restaurants. Did your parents pack it for you?”

“Yes, well…”

Ki Young-han’s mind flashed to his younger brother a few days ago, who had packed food himself, then scooped it onto his own plate and wolfed it down.

“That’s nice. My grandfather sometimes packs side dishes for me, but they’re too salty. Adults are all like that, aren’t they? Salty things are too salty, and bland things are too bland. And I don’t like being bothered about side dishes.”

Yoon Ye-jun spoke casually, as if it were nothing, but Ki Young-han felt a bit awkward. Judging by his mention of his grandfather, Yoon Ye-jun didn’t seem to live with his parents. But he couldn’t ask about his family relationships, nor were they close enough to do so.

Instead.

“…….”

“Do you want to come over and eat sometimes?”

He thought he had made the suggestion casually. But as soon as he finished speaking, Ki Young-han’s face flushed. What did I just say? he wondered. But then he tried his best to think of it as nothing. Lee Yun-hak also came over to eat sometimes, so it was just that level of hospitality. No more, no less.

“Should I?”

Yoon Ye-jun, gazing at Ki Young-han, replied with a smile. Ki Young-han felt annoyed by the matching smile. But he couldn’t say anything like ‘What are you grinning at?’ or ‘Why are you smiling like that?’ as he usually would. He had always thought eating with someone was a bothersome task, but it didn’t seem entirely like that.

Ki Young-han felt a dryness in his mouth. He couldn’t keep his lips still, so he bit them slightly and let go.

Unable to answer, he lowered his head. He plunged his spoon into the rice and took a large mouthful. I should go home on the weekend, he thought, and steal some of the side dishes.

Uneventful days passed. Thursday arrived quickly, and before heading to class, Ki Young-han stopped by a cafe and bought a cold Americano to wake him up. He debated whether to buy one for Yoon Ye-jun, but then he remembered Yoon Ye-jun had only bought his own, and he didn’t feel like it. It wasn’t that he was being petty, but if he had to think about it, Yoon Ye-jun was the petty one.

As Ki Young-han walked towards the liberal arts building with his coffee, he saw Yoon Ye-jun in the smoking area, holding an e-cigarette. He seemed to smoke regular cigarettes too, so it made sense he’d smoke e-cigarettes. Of course. When Ki Young-han first saw Yoon Ye-jun last winter, he was smoking an e-cigarette.

Yoon Ye-jun was on the phone. Ki Young-han, who had intended to ignore him and walk past, naturally moved towards Yoon Ye-jun. Not because of Yoon Ye-jun, but because he planned to smoke before going in.

“Ah, I checked the email. Yes, by the weekend after next, yes… I understand. Yes.”

Who is he talking to? A group project? But group projects were usually done at the last minute. He had never heard of a request being made by the weekend after next.

Next to Yoon Ye-jun, who was taking a puff from his e-cigarette, Ki Young-han took out his own cigarette and lit it. Click. He spun the lighter wheel. A small flame should have appeared, but he had misaligned it, and a large flame erupted.

“Ah, shit… what the.”

Startled, he let out a sound involuntarily. Yoon Ye-jun, who was finishing his call, finally sensed his presence and glanced over. He casually raised a hand. Am I his friend? Seeing him act so familiar, Ki Young-han felt an inexplicable irritation.

“Yes, I’ll hang up. Yes.”

After ending the call, Yoon Ye-jun fiddled with his finished cigarette. Ki Young-han held his cigarette between his index and middle fingers. Yoon Ye-jun, who Ki Young-han thought would just go in alone, stood still.

“What are you doing?”

When he asked, Yoon Ye-jun replied in a voice devoid of emotion.

“Waiting for you?”

“Me… why are you waiting for me?”

“To go in together.”

Ki Young-han closed his mouth.

Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head. Is he thinking, why is he acting so friendly for no reason? Should I just go in first? He was plagued by trivial thoughts. It seemed better to just go in than to bicker and hurt each other’s feelings again.

Yoon Ye-jun slipped the e-cigarette device into his pocket.

“I’m just going to go in first…”

“Wait.”

Ki Young-han said urgently. Yoon Ye-jun looked a little surprised. He hadn’t expected him to say this much. It was unexpected. To say ‘wait’ with a face and voice that seemed indifferent whether he went or not. He looked like he might even grab his sleeve. Yoon Ye-jun slowly nodded.

Ki Young-han stubbed out his cigarette after only a few puffs. Yoon Ye-jun waited for him, standing still. The smell of cigarettes was all the same, but Ki Young-han’s cigarette somehow smelled refreshing. In fact, he hadn’t paid attention to what he smoked before, and they had never spoken up close, so it made sense.

“Who were you talking to on the phone?”

Ki Young-han tried to ask calmly. And he succeeded. Yoon Ye-jun said, “Ah, ah–” and replied without much thought.

“A senior from my department who graduated. For an part-time job.”

“Tutoring?”

“No. It’s something new they’re doing. The professor suggested it first. But it turns out this senior suggested it first.”

“Weird… why are they still at school when they’re old?”

He said it, but since both of them were at school, they weren’t exactly young, so he didn’t add anything else.

“Why did they ask you to do it?”

“I don’t know. Maybe just because I’m meticulous.”

“Meticulous, my ass…”

“What do you know?”

“Why don’t I know? You’re always late for appointments.”

“Hey, you were late once. And it was only two minutes, I think.”

“Still, being late is being late.”

He really holds a grudge. Yoon Ye-jun grumbled inwardly but didn’t say it out loud. The two walked towards the lecture building together. Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head slightly towards Ki Young-han. Aside from the refreshing smell of cigarettes, there was also a faint scent of perfume.

“What perfume do you use?”

“I didn’t put any on today.”

“Really? It smells nice.”

Yoon Ye-jun buried his nose in Ki Young-han’s shoulder. The moment he met Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze, Ki Young-han felt as if all the blood in his body had drained away. He quickly turned his body.

“…What are you doing?”

“Ah, it smelled nice.”

“Are you crazy? Where are you sticking your nose?”

His grip tightened on the takeout cup. Yoon Ye-jun turned his head forward, looking as if he had nothing more to say. Then, a thought suddenly occurred to him, and he blurted it out.

“Ah, right. You begged me so much to eat, why didn’t you contact me?”

Ki Young-han, who had said he couldn’t on Tuesday because it was too late, hadn’t contacted him at all on Tuesday or Wednesday. He thought maybe meeting on Monday was enough, but he had wanted to treat him to a meal, and it felt like he had received breakfast for free, so he decided to think of it separately.

I should treat him to something delicious. It didn’t matter if it was far from school.

“I was busy, I was doing this and that.” Yoon Ye-jun expected a reply in a moderately low voice. Instead, Ki Young-han’s voice was distorted and fierce.

“Who was begging?”

He’s focusing on the wrong thing. Yoon Ye-jun entered the classroom first. Ki Young-han held the door open from behind and followed him in, continuing to speak.

“Let’s meet tonight.”

“Young-han, if you want to cancel your part-time job, you should tell me the day before at the latest.”

Yoon Ye-jun sighed and sat down. Then, he glanced sideways, observing Ki Young-han’s expression next to him. As expected, he was twitching his nose and couldn’t control his expression.

“Let’s meet tomorrow evening.”

“It’s late.”

“Late, what? Let’s meet tomorrow evening.”

Ki Young-han immediately started cursing under his breath. Selfish, self-centered, he muttered, words of self-reproach pouring out. Who is he to say that to whom? Yoon Ye-jun sighed.

“We agreed not to talk like that.”

Then, his grumbling voice disappeared. Whether he was simple or childish, Yoon Ye-jun didn’t know. He added.

“And stop making that face. Why does such a handsome guy always have that expression?”

After speaking, Yoon Ye-jun anticipated Ki Young-han’s retort.

What does it matter to you what expression I make with my face?

Mind your own business. I’ll make whatever face I want.

So what? Is it your concern?

He had a retort ready too, so he turned to look at him with an indifferent expression. But then he flinched, his shoulders trembling.

Why is he acting like this…

Ki Young-han, whom he faced, had an expression that was clearly flustered. His cheeks looked flushed red, making Yoon Ye-jun doubt his eyes. He had tried to put force into his eyes, but it wasn’t his usual fierce gaze.

“…….”

He brought the back of his hand to his cheek.

“Am I handsome?”

Regardless of the people around, Ki Young-han asked, his voice trembling slightly. Two students sitting in front turned to look at them. Meeting their awkward gazes, Yoon Ye-jun shifted his eyes back to Ki Young-han. Is he asking something so obvious? he thought. He slowly nodded. Ki Young-han said, “Ah,” and lowered his head. What he muttered was ridiculous.

“…Then let’s meet on Friday.”

Who knew he would be swayed by being called handsome?

He thought he had heard compliments about his looks so much that his ears would get calluses, but he showed an unexpectedly weak side. Yoon Ye-jun found that behavior a bit strange. Is this the first time he’s been called handsome? It seemed like his name would have been followed by ‘handsome Ki Young-han.’

Yoon Ye-jun was also taken aback by that strange reaction. Not knowing what to do, he couldn’t fix his gaze properly. Just then, the professor entered the lecture hall. With a greeting like, “It feels like it’s been a while,” Yoon Ye-jun slowly turned his head. Summer was still far away, but the air felt a bit humid.

After class, Yoon Ye-jun, who had intended to go straight home, realized belatedly that he had left his assignment materials in his locker. Because of that, he had to turn back even after reaching his apartment. If it were a relaxed assignment, he would have gone to get it before his part-time job in the evening, but he had to upload it by the weekend, so he couldn’t.

Arriving at the Social Sciences building, which he didn’t need to come back to, he approached the row of lockers in front of the lecture hall, with no one else in sight. It was just before class, and late in the afternoon, so there were no people. At most, the murmuring voices of students could be heard from two lecture halls.

Yoon Ye-jun stopped in front of the lockers. The locker was shared by Yoon Ye-jun and Kim Dong-hoon. Kim Dong-hoon was far from organized, and Yoon Ye-jun, being easygoing, wasn’t one to meticulously tidy the locker. Because of this, whenever he opened the door, books and various odds and ends would often spill out.

“…….”

Yoon Ye-jun held the locker handle and caught his breath. It won’t fall today, right? he thought, and with a stiff face, he pulled the door open.

Thump. A soccer ball, which had barely held on, fell out of the locker. The soccer ball belonged to Kim Dong-hoon. He had asked Kim Dong-hoon to wipe the ball after use before putting it away, as it had rolled on the dirty ground. So, fortunately, it wasn’t dirty. He couldn’t understand why he put a soccer ball in such a cramped locker.

“Ah, really…”

Yoon Ye-jun, uncharacteristically annoyed, followed the rolling soccer ball with his eyes. The soccer ball rolled and rolled, then stopped when it hit the toe of someone’s shoe. Yoon Ye-jun’s gaze started from the soccer ball, slowly traveled up his calf and thigh, and met the other person’s eyes.

“Ye-jun, hello.”

It was Kim Jae-ui. They ran into each other strangely often. Kim Jae-ui bent down, picked up the soccer ball, and approached Yoon Ye-jun, handing it over. Yoon Ye-jun slightly bowed his head and took the ball. Kim Jae-ui asked, feigning good nature,

“Is this Dong-hoon’s?”

“Yes.”

“Right. Dong-hoon liked soccer.”

Instead of answering, Yoon Ye-jun put the soccer ball into his locker. Then he took out a spring-bound textbook.

“Ye-jun, is class over?”

Kim Jae-ui, whom he thought would have passed by, stood there blankly. He asked a pointless question. Why was he so interested in others? Yoon Ye-jun clutched the textbook he had taken and closed the locker door. Thud. With the sound, he turned back to Kim Jae-ui.

“Yes.”

He gave a concise answer. I’m uncomfortable talking to you. Even though he was making it obvious, Kim Jae-ui threw another question.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going home, then to my part-time job.”

“You seem to be working hard at your part-time job these days. You always worked hard before, too. When you said you skipped your part-time job every time to meet me, I actually felt uncomfortable.”

So what? He really loves talking about the past. Is he getting old?

Yoon Ye-jun couldn’t control his expression. It was the moment he lifted his face to just nod vaguely.

“……”

Kim Jae-ui reached his hand towards Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun turned his head the moment the short hand was about to touch his hair. Without even meeting his eyes, he scowled. Kim Jae-ui’s hand, which had stopped in mid-air, returned to its original position.

Come to think of it, it was like that before, too. Yoon Ye-jun’s mind drifted back to another past moment. Kim Jae-ui often used to pat his head. He used to like it back then. That’s why he’d intentionally meet his eyes more often. Because he’d pat his head in a way that was clearly different from the usual senior-junior relationship, smiling kindly. But that was in the past.

Now, it made him not just creeped out, but annoyed. He was sick of the act of being a seemingly kind senior. Would he have only done that to him? And thinking about how many people had fallen for that act of being friendly and affectionate, and that he himself was among them, made him feel disgusted.

Kim Jae-ui gave Yoon Ye-jun, who had dodged his touch, a sheepish smile.

“Ah, sorry. Ye-jun, you must be older now too.”

“No. Hyung….”

It’s not just unpleasant, it’s fucking awful. It was the moment Yoon Ye-jun was about to open his mouth. A figure that quickly passed by shoved Kim Jae-ui’s shoulder without hesitation. In crude terms, it was a shoulder-check. Kim Jae-ui stumbled backward, unable to withstand the force. Yoon Ye-jun made eye contact with the man who had passed him and Kim Jae-ui, stopping a couple of steps behind.

“……”

“……”

It was Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han was glaring at Yoon Ye-jun with all his might. Kim Jae-ui, having regained his balance, turned around. His face was mixed with an uncharacteristic irritation.

“Hey. You should apologize.”

“Why should I?”

Ki Young-han asked nonchalantly. Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth hung open, his gaze dropping to the floor before he looked at Ki Young-han askance. Ki Young-han was deliberately opening his eyes like that. A venomous gaze. He was openly showing hostility.

“No, you hit someone….”

“You were blocking the path first. You should be apologizing to me. Why are you blocking the walkway? Is it only for you? Did you rent it out?”

It was the height of audacity. Yoon Ye-jun had forgotten anew. He’s really something else. He was unreasonable and illogical, yet his words somehow made sense, leaving one speechless. The tall guy argued back stubbornly, creating an intimidating presence that Kim Jae-ui couldn’t possibly overcome.

Kim Jae-ui shook his head. After finishing his words, Ki Young-han moved forward without a moment’s hesitation. Yoon Ye-jun readjusted the textbook he was holding.

“I’ll be going. I have to do homework before my part-time job.”

“Ah… right. But Ye-jun, that kid, you know him, right?”

“Yes. But he’s always like that. His personality is a bit….”

Yoon Ye-jun placed his index finger on his head and spun it around. He passed Kim Jae-ui, who still had a bewildered expression, and approached Ki Young-han. Honestly, he seemed like a lunatic, but it was incredibly satisfying.

Ki Young-han was waiting for the elevator. Yoon Ye-jun stood next to Ki Young-han. He fidgeted, but Ki Young-han didn’t even acknowledge him.

“Young-han.”

He finally spoke first. Ki Young-han didn’t reply.

“What do you want to eat tomorrow?”

If it had been someone else, he might have questioned why, but his tone came out soft and pleasant, feeling satisfied. Yoon Ye-jun asked, hiding a faint smile on his lips. Ki Young-han opened his eyes lazily. His face looked as if he were looking at a bug.

“I don’t really want to eat anything. Why don’t you go get more of those petting hands? What are you, a dog, getting your head patted.”

Ki Young-han had a remarkable talent. With just a few words, he had the ability to ruin both their moods. As expected, while Yoon Ye-jun had spoken kindly, Ki Young-han shot back words like a string of sausages.

I was just in a bad mood, and it happened to be about Kim Jae-ui and me…

Yoon Ye-jun stood still, a smile playing on his lips but his face set, when the elevator arrived. Ki Young-han passed Yoon Ye-jun without a second thought and got on the elevator.

Just as Yoon Ye-jun was about to follow, Ki Young-han, already inside, repeatedly pressed the door-close button. Startled by the elevator doors closing faster than usual, Yoon Ye-jun took a step back. He thought Ki Young-han would at least open them just before they closed, but the doors met and closed. Yoon Ye-jun couldn’t get on the elevator. He stared at the closed elevator doors with a dumbfounded expression.

“Ah, that bastard….”

As expected. Where would that person’s personality go? Yoon Ye-jun glared at the closed elevator doors, then finally turned away. It would probably be a little faster to take the stairs down than to wait for the elevator.

Ki Young-han, who had been standing blankly, examined his face in the mirror. His frown was so deep it creased his brow. He pressed his fingers against the wrinkles, trying to smooth them out. He muttered incessantly,

“Making me annoyed. Making me bothered, what the hell.”

He cursed under his breath.

‘You seem to be working hard at your part-time job these days. You always worked hard before, too. When you said you skipped your part-time job every time to meet me, I actually felt uncomfortable.’

The man’s bothersome voice echoed in his mind. Where had he seen that guy before? He was sure he had seen him somewhere, but the fact that he couldn’t remember made him feel even more uneasy. The man’s words were also irritating.

It was incredibly irritating that Yoon Ye-jun, who had told him he couldn’t skip his part-time job, had skipped it because of that guy. And then he patted his head. Yoon Ye-jun was a 26-year-old man. Who would pat each other’s heads like that among people their age?

“……”

Perhaps… perhaps it wasn’t just that man who bothered Yoon Ye-jun alone… perhaps there was a deeper relationship that I don’t know about? Yoon Ye-jun, who said he didn’t like men, was actually not like that… As the suspicions continued to pile up, Ki Young-han’s eyebrows shot up.

The more he thought about it, the more unpleasant and awful it felt. But what was even more displeasing was the fact that he couldn’t stop thinking about those two, even though he wanted to, and had unnecessarily provoked them. He had to see them tomorrow. He wanted to see them.

Looking at his pathetic reflection in the mirror, Ki Young-han bit his lower lip hard. He managed to suppress the sigh that escaped. Instead, he clenched his fist.

The beer house, filled with the latest pop music, was noisy. Even though the first semester was past its midpoint, the students were still engrossed in drinking games. The seemingly fresh freshmen were busy laughing and playing amongst themselves, while the weary continuing students spent their time as they pleased.

Yoon Ye-jun, having finished the dishes, looked around. He peered at the number plate that lit up with a ding when the bell was rung, but it was still quiet. It wasn’t peak hours, so despite the noise, it was quite relaxed.

The owner, who had finished his calculations at the counter, said to Yoon Ye-jun,

“Ye-jun, want to take a break? People will start coming in soon.”

“Ah, yes.”

Yoon Ye-jun went into the storage room in the back. It wasn’t a place to store food, but rather where part-time staff rested or occasionally smoked.

Yoon Ye-jun sat down on the makeshift bed. He took out his mobile phone from his pocket. He expected messages from people in his department or group project members, but a message came from an unexpected person.

Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations

I want to eat meat.

8:29 PM

He was acting all prickly and bitchy alone earlier, and now he was contacting him so calmly. Why were his emotions so extreme? Yoon Ye-jun slightly furrowed his brow. Moreover, the content of the message was abrupt. Usually, someone would say they want to eat meat and suggest meeting tomorrow, but this was just a bottomless declaration of wanting meat.

Still, what could he do? He had to endure it, especially since he was the one with the better personality. Yoon Ye-jun held his mobile phone with both hands and sent a reply.

Me

Tomorrow?

9:09 PM

The number ‘1’ disappeared immediately. Ki Young-han was surprisingly quick to reply, which didn’t suit him. He seemed like the type who would never touch a mobile phone, but…

Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations

Yes.

9:09 PM

Another brief reply came back. Yoon Ye-jun gazed at the one-word message.

He was excessively brief. He probably didn’t want to be contacted, so if Yoon Ye-jun didn’t reply, he’d message again and again. He lacked social skills, Yoon Ye-jun shook his head. Ki Young-han was like a cactus. He had his thorns out, seeming like he didn’t need water, but he was strangely bothersome. As expected, when he delayed his reply for a moment, another message arrived.

Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations

Are you staying over?

9:11 PM

Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head at the question asked so casually. Wasn’t it just dinner? No, why? As soon as he sent a reply, another message came in.

Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations

I brought side dishes.

9:13 PM

‘Come and eat sometimes.’

He remembered the conversation they had a few days ago when he ate at Ki Young-han’s place. It was home-cooked food after a long time, and it was indeed delicious. Although he didn’t seem like the type, he thought Ki Young-han’s words back then were just politeness, but it seemed that wasn’t the case.

Still, they had gotten quite close. Seeing things like this, he wasn’t entirely cold-hearted. Whether others knew this or not, he didn’t know, but…

Me

Can I stay over?

9:15 PM

After sending the reply, he put his mobile phone down on the makeshift bed. He stretched, letting out a small yawn. His gaze drifted back to his phone. It was nothing, but he was inexplicably concerned. However, there was no reply.

“What the….”

Yoon Ye-jun muttered to himself in a low voice. Even after nearly five minutes, no reply came. He ended up lying down, staring at the ceiling. The loud music and voices from beyond the door, the humming of the refrigerator, everything was just raw noise, and in it, he thought of Ki Young-han.

The events of the day were just him maintaining his usual personality, but had he been too sensitive? Ki Young-han, when categorized as good or bad personality-wise, didn’t fall into the bad category. Yet, seeing his childish behavior towards Kim Jae-ui made him feel relieved, which meant he himself couldn’t be considered entirely good-natured.

Adaptation, in a way, was a strange thing. When he first saw Ki Young-han, he thought, What kind of person is this? He had deliberately gone to bother him and asked to be in the same group, and now they were not only in the same group but also resolving their assignments smoothly, and…

The night of ups and downs remained in his memory. Of course, that night was far from calm. Ki Young-han seemed like someone whose eyes had rolled back. He bared his teeth, bit and caressed his skin, and Yoon Ye-jun accepted it. Whether it was due to a difference in stamina, it was overwhelming, but he did it because he liked it.

Is he lonely? Yoon Ye-jun touched his nape, recalling that night. But he was a bit strange. While kissing and touching his body, Ki Young-han kept pulling his butt towards him, making it seem like he was about to do something, which flustered him.

“……”

He’ll probably be good at it. Ki Young-han’s height, hands, and all other body parts were large, and he was diligent. Even if it was behavior that lost all reason.

Yoon Ye-jun bit his lower lip as he recalled that night. He felt strange after having such a lewd thought, which he rarely did. And the other person was Ki Young-han. Of course, now that they had become involved in such a relationship, it was a natural consequence, but he still wasn’t used to being in this kind of relationship with someone he had such a terrible first impression of.

He finally got up. By now, there should be dishes to wash. It was more comforting to clear his mind while working.

“……”

Ki Young-han didn’t have time to pay attention to his mobile phone. His gaze was fixed on the monitor. His eyes were wide open, staring at the screen with a look of horror. Ki Young-han was watching a pornographic video. And both people in the video were men.

The reason he came to watch the video was simple. While messaging Yoon Ye-jun, he had accidentally, very accidentally, searched for how men do it, and somehow ended up playing a video.

The video was different from his imagination. A hairy man, like a gorilla, was thrusting his genitals into another similar man. As the flat buttocks spread apart, he saw sparse hair around a brown hole, and at that moment, Ki Young-han finally turned off the video.

“Ah….”

I feel like I’m going to throw up.

Ki Young-han closed his eyes. Even though he didn’t want to, he couldn’t help but think of Yoon Ye-jun. It was almost like washing his eyes. He even wished he could erase the memory.

The men in the video were the opposite of Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun’s pubic hair was like down, and his butt was much rounder than that unkempt man’s. He was thin, yet his healthy-looking skin had a sheen, and he didn’t look at the color or anything, but… but his nipples were pink… and his rear…

“Am I crazy?”

He felt guilt for having lewd thoughts about someone who wasn’t there, and finally buried his forehead in his desk. His straight nose and the tip of his nose were flattened against the desk surface.

For Ki Young-han, the feeling of sexual desire was unfamiliar. He had never actively searched for pornographic videos. He felt strongly about why he should be masturbating while watching other people have sex. And to have the first porn he actively watched be between men made it even more agonizing. The man had thick hair, a protruding belly, and was even wearing swimming goggles, which made him feel nauseous. His impression of his first porn viewing was unequivocally the worst.

Ki Young-han pressed his chest with his hand and sat up.

Absolutely not. He wouldn’t go as far as this with Yoon Ye-jun. He bit his lip as if making a great resolution.

The library of the College of Social Sciences, frequented more by students filling their free time than by academic pursuits.

Yoon Ye-jun was working on his assignment there. It wasn’t a difficult task, as it involved reading papers and organizing them for a presentation. The problem was that the papers were not translated, but Yoon Ye-jun read them through without much trouble. He lightly underlined them with a mechanical pencil without much thought, and checked unfamiliar words separately.

Friday evening arrived surprisingly quickly. Ki Young-han’s suggestion to substitute dinner for meeting separately for the ‘Sex and Communication’ assignment was a relief, as there was no need to meet first thing in the morning.

After attending his afternoon classes, time flew by even faster as he worked on his assignment in the library. Ki Young-han’s point was valid. Meeting early Friday morning or making time on the weekend would just be a hassle.

He marked only the unfamiliar words and lightly read through the paper, then put down the mechanical pencil he was holding. Then he clasped his hands and extended his palms outward to stretch.

His shoulders were stiff from sitting in one position for too long, so he moved his head back and forth. His head, which had been tilted towards the ceiling, returned to the floor. He closed his eyes deeply, then rolled his pupils.

Just then, the screen of his mobile phone, placed on the corner of the desk, suddenly lit up. Yoon Ye-jun released his clasped hands and picked up his phone. When he lightly pressed the power button, a pop-up window appeared. It was Ki Young-han.

Ki Young-han, Department of Political Science and International Relations

I’ve arrived.

5:57 PM

The appointment was for exactly 6 o’clock. In any case, he kept the time impeccably. This guy probably never has to worry about being late. It was natural, of course, but seeing as most people are late by at least ten minutes for appointments with friends, it seemed impressive in a way. Yoon Ye-jun sent a reply before gathering his things.

Me

I’m leaving now. Wait for me in the lobby. It’s at the College of Agriculture library.

5:58 PM

After sending the brief reply, he packed his bag. He put his textbooks and some simple writing supplies into his bag and headed out. When he went down to the first-floor lobby, Ki Young-han was standing there, just as he had contacted him. As the weather had warmed up, he wasn’t wearing the long coat that reached his calves like before. Today, he was wearing a black hoodie with a brand logo no bigger than a palm on the left chest. He seemed dressed simply, but it looked quite good. He was tall and well-built, making him look like a sports student who worked out diligently.

Ki Young-han stood with a casual stance, standing with one leg. One hand was tucked into his pocket, and he was looking at his Mobile phone with the other. Yoon Ye-jun also approached Ki Young-han, who was standing a distance away, and checked the time on his Mobile phone.

6:01.

Disaster.

“Young-han.”

Yoon Ye-jun called out to Ki Young-han urgently and ran over. Ki Young-han, who had only been looking at his Mobile phone, turned towards the direction of the voice. Yoon Ye-jun paused for a moment. He already knew he was handsome, but today his appearance seemed even more striking. He thought it was probably because his clothes were black.

Ki Young-han maintained a poker face.

“You’re late.”

It was barely a minute.

“You’re so punctual. I came all the way to the College of Agriculture myself.”

His chattering mouth didn’t stop. Yoon Ye-jun’s thought that Ki Young-han looked even more handsome today faded with the voice pouring out of his mouth.

“Didn’t you say last time that you were good at keeping time? Well, you are, aren’t you.”

His sarcasm was top-notch. Yoon Ye-jun dropped the gentle smile he had been wearing. One minute, or thirty seconds, late was still late.

“Sorry.”

As he offered his apology, Ki Young-han sharply turned his head.

The two walked out of the building side by side. Students passed them by, joking and playing amongst themselves. Unlike the scene that resembled a campus drama, Yoon Ye-jun and Ki Young-han didn’t exchange a single word.

Yoon Ye-jun focused on the school scenery unfolding before his eyes. Green, yellow, and pink were embroidered as if they had been painted with color. However, it was too hot to be considered full spring. Nowadays, the boundary between spring and summer seemed blurred.

In just a few weeks, they would shed all the clothes they were wearing now and only wear short sleeves. And soon, final exams would be over, and a semester would end.

This semester had passed unusually quickly. Until last year, he had taken a leave of absence and focused only on work, so he hadn’t noticed time passing, but he hadn’t expected this year to be the same. He generally thought time moved slowly at school, but two months had already passed.

Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han, who was walking beside him, with an indifferent expression. He thought it might be because of him. They met at least twice a week these days. Sometimes they bumped into each other while just wandering around campus because they were in the same building. When people get familiar and their relationships become somewhat stable, their personalities should change a bit, but Ki Young-han showed a new facet of his insolence every time. Every day was new.

Anyway…

“Where do you want to eat?”

Yoon Ye-jun remembered Ki Young-han’s message from the previous day saying he wanted to eat meat and asked. Did he know a good place? On weekday evenings, he usually ate at convenience stores, nearby restaurants, or the beer house where he worked part-time, so he didn’t know where to go. The popular restaurants that had been there since his freshman year had mostly closed down, as is common with university district eateries.

“……”

Ki Young-han, who had been walking with his hands in his pockets, subtly lowered his eyes and looked at Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun also glanced up, seeking a reply, then immediately looked forward again.

“I didn’t bring my car.”

“Did you walk from home?”

“Well, to get some fresh air…”

He wanted to drink. Ki Young-han, who would normally speak directly without hesitation, was beating around the bush. Yoon Ye-jun murmured softly.

“Let’s go somewhere near school.”

If they were going to drink and eat meat, somewhere near school seemed convenient. It was also close to Ki Young-han’s house. It was a casual remark, but Ki Young-han, who had been following obediently, scrunched up his frown.

“You’re saying we should eat around here because I didn’t bring my car? If you had brought your car, where would you have gone? Are you treating me like a chauffeur?”

His immediate retort stunned Yoon Ye-jun, who asked back with a bewildered expression.

“Who said that? Why are you making such a fuss?”

“No, you first…”

Just as ‘first’ was about to be followed by the syllable ‘-st,’ Yoon Ye-jun added to his words with a short breath.

“Young-han, we’re just talking.”

He wondered if he had to explain even this. He’s in Political Science and International Relations, don’t they have discussions and debates? It was an unbearable sight. He seemed a bit more sensitive than usual. Yoon Ye-jun shook his head subtly. Fortunately, there were no further words. Instead, he felt a persistent gaze directed at him.

It was a look of utter displeasure. He’d rather have an argument than be looked at so pathetically. Why is he like this, really? He wanted to retort, but he felt uncomfortable meeting his gaze, so he pretended not to notice.

“……”

Ki Young-han was more sensitive than usual. His mind was a mess. The fear from the video he watched the day before still lingered. He had even had a nightmare about it. In the dream, he stood naked facing a gorilla-like man from the video, gagging, and he wished it had been Yoon Ye-jun instead. At least he had seen Yoon Ye-jun naked, so he had a rough idea. He knew where the fine hairs were, what color they were, and so on.

Even though it was just a dream, when he actually faced Yoon Ye-jun, he felt an unwarranted sense of guilt. That’s why he was more on edge than usual. Ki Young-han withdrew his gaze from Yoon Ye-jun and let out a soft sigh. Ugh. Why did I even watch that kind of video? He had to carry a feeling of guilt, something he never felt normally.

I shouldn’t have met him…

He thought that, but since he was the one who suggested meeting up, he had no room to complain. It also felt too disappointing to cancel and part ways now. Ki Young-han suppressed the rising guilt and looked back at Yoon Ye-jun. Through the thin brown strands of hair densely covering his round crown, a few strands like pigtails stuck out.

That single curly strand of hair sticking out from Yoon Ye-jun, who seemed to have no flaws, looked strangely cute.

I must be crazy.

He wondered what he was thinking, belatedly.

Ki Young-han blinked his eyes slowly a couple of times, then reached out. Without asking for permission, he plucked the strand of hair right in front of him.

“Ah…!”

Yoon Ye-jun glared at Ki Young-han, who had plucked his hair without warning. Ki Young-han looked flustered. It was a look he rarely saw from him. His trembling pupils flickered, unable to focus, then finally found their center. He then threw away the spring-like curly hair he was holding between his thumb and forefinger.

“You can’t talk, so now you pull people’s hair?”

Ki Young-han twisted his lips. Then, as if he had lost interest, he sharply turned his head forward.

“What kind of pig hair is on your head…”

He grumbled to himself like a complaining old man, blaming Yoon Ye-jun.

People were gathered in small groups around round tables with charcoal grills lit. It was a renowned barbecue restaurant near school, rumored to be a great place. Its prices were quite high, so it was known to be frequented more by office workers and professors living nearby than students.

Although there weren’t many students, it was just as noisy. The boisterous voices and the smoke from grilling meat swirled and mingled in the air. Even though it wasn’t that late, there were quite a few drunk patrons, and their loud voices floated through the air.

Sizzle— the meat cooked on the grill. Yoon Ye-jun tapped the tongs in his hand at regular intervals, tak, tak*. Ki Young-han faced Yoon Ye-jun, arms crossed, and watched the kimchi sizzling and cooking in the oil.

“Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

It was samgyeopsal. Thick samgyeopsal. It didn’t quite suit the noble-looking Ki Young-han to be drinking soju with samgyeopsal. He didn’t even salivate at the good smell, nor did he make a fuss. Yoon Ye-jun wondered if he was forcing himself to eat it, pretending to like it, like he did with the intestines last time.

“I don’t think you like it.”

“What do you know?”

Indeed, he didn’t know anything about him. Except that he was rude and only cared about himself.

While the meat was cooking, Yoon Ye-jun, having nothing else to do, placed the garlic from the bowl onto the grill. Just as the garlic was about to hit the grill and absorb the oil, Ki Young-han, holding chopsticks, picked the garlic off the grill and threw it into the oil dish.

“…What are you doing?”

Yoon Ye-jun asked with a bewildered expression at the sudden action. Ki Young-han looked unfazed. What was he thinking? Nothing about him was normal. He was like a chewing candy from when he was little. A chewing candy that, among the sweet ones, was uniquely sour, making your mouth water. Ki Young-han was like that, amidst ordinary people. If you chewed it, it was like “Icy!”

As expected, Ki Young-han gave an answer that deviated from the norm.

“You’re going to kiss, right? Are you going to go around smelling of garlic? That’s really bad manners.”

The moment Yoon Ye-jun heard the word ‘kiss’ from Ki Young-han’s mouth, he looked around. Fortunately, the restaurant was noisy, otherwise, attention might have been focused on them. Yoon Ye-jun pulled his chin in and lowered his voice. It wasn’t a threat, but it sounded that way unintentionally.

“Don’t say things like that outside.”

“Then you shouldn’t let me speak.”

Yoon Ye-jun released his gaze towards Ki Young-han, his expression tense.

Still, he knows you shouldn’t eat garlic before kissing. He probably wouldn’t care about that at all and would just eat it because he likes it.

Yoon Ye-jun poured soju into Ki Young-han’s glass without further conversation. Ki Young-han took his glass and downed the soju by himself without clinking glasses. He was feeling complicated, sensitive, and troubled, even at the restaurant. Once he opened his eyes, everything he saw reminded him of something lewd. Even now, the scene of Yoon Ye-jun gripping his own genitals and shaking them, as he saw from Yoon Ye-jun’s hand holding the soju bottle, flashed in his mind, and it wasn’t the reason he downed the soju.

Unaware of anything, Yoon Ye-jun placed the well-cooked meat onto Ki Young-han’s rice. Like something dangling from a claw machine and then dropped, the well-cooked, glistening meat was placed on the white rice in front of Ki Young-han.

It was a cut with more lean meat than fat. It was cut into a suitable size. Ki Young-han looked at the meat in front of him, then shifted his gaze to Yoon Ye-jun. Yoon Ye-jun moved the fattier cut towards himself, then cut off the fat and ate it.

“Drink slowly. You don’t handle alcohol well.”

Ki Young-han didn’t like that side of Yoon Ye-jun. His unnecessary kindness. His tendency to think of others before himself. Having lived his life the opposite of him, Ki Young-han felt angry at Yoon Ye-jun rather than reflecting on himself. Perhaps it was inevitable that he harbored such lewd thoughts about Yoon Ye-jun.

Putting aside his appearance, he thought Yoon Ye-jun’s kindness was different from that of ordinary people. It was different from his own family, who were naturally gentle and lived harmoniously. He didn’t know. Ki Young-han’s mind became complicated. After drinking soju continuously, he chewed the meat vigorously.

This is annoying…

Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head, watching Ki Young-han. He said he didn’t bring his car, so he must be planning to drink heavily. Why is he drinking so much? He watched him intently and picked up the soju bottle. Then he filled the glass in front of him. The transparent liquid was filled to the brim. He raised the glass full of soju and offered it to Ki Young-han.

“Cheers.”

Ki Young-han just stared at the glass in Yoon Ye-jun’s hand.

“What are you doing? Hurry up and cheers.”

It was to match the tempo, so he wouldn’t drink alone and pass out. He wasn’t the type to brag about his drinking ability, but in moments like this, being able to drink well was better than not.

Or maybe, if he couldn’t drink at all, he wouldn’t have these drinking sessions, so that might have been better. Then he would have maintained a completely cold relationship with Ki Young-han… Either way, it was the same. Ki Young-han twitched his nose and, with no other choice, clinked his glass against Yoon Ye-jun’s.

One glass, then another, the soju went down his throat. Ki Young-han was starting to lose the taste for alcohol. He pouted his lips and looked at the rice he hadn’t even half-finished. The rice bowl contained half rice, half meat. It was because Yoon Ye-jun had piled on a lot of meat, telling him not to just drink.

He poured soju into his confused mind like pouring water on a fire. Eventually, Yoon Ye-jun took Ki Young-han’s glass away. “Eat some meat,” he said, and directly used the tongs to pick up meat and bring it to his mouth. At that moment, Ki Young-han meekly opened his mouth like a baby bird eating food and accepted the meat. Then Yoon Ye-jun laughed. Seeing him say, “You eat well,” Ki Young-han felt like he needed a cigarette, not more alcohol.

For the second round, they came to the beer house where Yoon Ye-jun worked part-time. There were definitely more students here. Voices that seemed lighter than at the barbecue restaurant could be heard. Yoon Ye-jun joked with the part-timer who approached him.

“Hyung, you took the day off from work, yet you come here again?”

The part-timer looked to be in his early twenties at most. His face still had a youthful roundness, and he had baby fat. He had a rustic bowl cut. Ki Young-han pretended not to care and looked at the menu, but the voices of the two were so clear. He felt like he had sobered up instantly.

“I didn’t have anywhere else to go. It’s crowded today, isn’t it?”

“Ah, I know, right? It’s always crowded on days you’re not working.”

“Haha, good for you.”

Ki Young-han’s lips twisted. He knew he was kind. He knew even more that he wasn’t just kind to him. In fact, Yoon Ye-jun tended to issue threats to Ki Young-han. Like, if you do this, I won’t kiss you, behave yourself, don’t talk like that. His parents sent him to Cheonghak-dong when he was in elementary school to learn etiquette, but even the scholars there weren’t like this.

“So, is the person with you a friend?”

Since there wasn’t even a common glance, the voice asking was cautious. It meant, friend in name, but who is this person next to you? Ki Young-han finally looked up from the menu. Just looking at him made the man flinch, and he shifted his gaze back to Yoon Ye-jun.

Ki Young-han’s gaze now turned to Yoon Ye-jun. Even though they were just acquaintances, he felt strangely tense. Still, they had kissed, touched each other, and met a couple of times a week to eat meals diligently… weren’t they more than just acquaintances? If he called him a close junior, he might grumble later, but he could let it slide.

He subtly withdrew his gaze from Yoon Ye-jun. A secret tension gathered within his body.

“Ah, he’s someone I’m doing a group project with.”

It wasn’t soju, water, or beer that doused the fire in his heart. It was Yoon Ye-jun’s calm voice.

Ah, right. Not acquaintances, but someone he’s doing a group project with.

Where the tension had been, only emptiness remained. It was probably because of the alcohol. Ki Young-han pretended not to have heard. But soon, he recognized the emotion welling up. It was disappointment.

“Ahhh…”

The man drew out his voice. Ki Young-han’s eyes met his again. Ki Young-han narrowed his eyes at the gaze that seemed to pity him for no reason.

“Go take care of your business, you’re making me lose my appetite. Why are you making a fuss here?”

The words came out without hesitation. Yoon Ye-jun was horrified, and the man was taken aback.

“Why are you acting like this again?”

Yoon Ye-jun blamed himself, not knowing his own feelings.

“Why do you care so much about what someone you’re doing a group project with says? Just ignore it.”

Yoon Ye-jun soothed his dry mouth. First, he ordered beer and an assorted fried platter from the part-timer. Once they were alone, Yoon Ye-jun glanced at Ki Young-han. He hadn’t expected him to sulk over something like this, but he looked sulky. He took Ki Young-han, who wouldn’t even meet his eyes, outside. He pushed him into an alley between the beer houses.

“Are you sulking?”

He asked directly. Ki Young-han didn’t even meet Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes, peering into the alley. His pouting lips jutted out. Yoon Ye-jun grabbed Ki Young-han’s cheek and fixed his head towards him, as Ki Young-han had no intention of returning to normal. Only then did their eyes meet.

“I’m asking. Are you sulking?”

“I’m not that kind of person.”

“Then why are you suddenly snapping?”

His lips twitched and hesitated. Yoon Ye-jun stared intently at Ki Young-han, who was a good ten centimeters taller than him.

“Tell me.”

He said it sternly. Even if it was understandable for him, or even if he conceded that Ki Young-han was rude to strangers, he couldn’t overlook him being like this to his acquaintances.

But that was a problem for later. Ki Young-han was sulking. It wasn’t his usual snapping, nor was he openly lashing out to hurt someone’s feelings. He wouldn’t even make eye contact. So, it bothered him.

Could it be that he was sulking because of the person he was doing the group project with?

It was impossible to know why he was acting like this, when he seemed like someone who wouldn’t care about defining relationships. If Ki Young-han cared about such trivial things, why would he have spoken to everyone the way he did all this time?

“Rather….”

Ki Young-han’s words made Yoon Ye-jun flinch and freeze. The voice that reached him was filled with deep hurt.

“Just say you know me, why do you talk like that? You really have no manners, I know that. You shouldn’t speak carelessly to someone you work part-time with, but it’s okay to speak to me like that? Do you just say you know someone even to your friends? No, you’re not even someone I know. Where does that kind of talk come from? Do you think it’s okay to talk to me like that because I’m always begging you to kiss me?”

Yoon Ye-jun was a little flustered by the words that poured out like a downpour. To be honest, he was surprised. He hadn’t expected Ki Young-han to show his disappointment. And then came the self-reflection.

He realized belatedly that he had been acting with a hidden rudeness, thinking it was okay to treat Ki Young-han that way without even realizing it. That is, both Ki Young-han and he had shown their true selves and gnashed their teeth at each other, so he had unknowingly displayed rudeness disguised as honesty.

“……”

Ki Young-han’s eyes seemed particularly moist today. He didn’t look like he was about to cry, but seeing him hurt made Yoon Ye-jun feel bad. Ki Young-han made people care.

Yoon Ye-jun lowered the hand holding Ki Young-han’s cheek and slowly took both of his hands. Ki Young-han, who had been looking down at their clasped hands, blushed and met Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

“……”

“You’re right. I guess I took you too much for granted. I have no excuses. I apologize.”

Ki Young-han felt like all his strength had drained away. He thought Yoon Ye-jun was amazing, as apologizing was something he found difficult. Shame followed soon after. He felt awkward about venting his frustration, and embarrassed, he tried to pull his hands away. But Yoon Ye-jun held on tighter.

“I’m sorry, Young-han. Really.”

“No, let go of my hand…”

Honestly, the strength was enough to break free without hesitation. Seeing the veins pop on his wrist, it seemed like he was putting in quite an effort, but he was pathetically weak. However, Ki Young-han didn’t exert any more force on his arm.

“…It’s not like I’m that angry.”

He had to try and soothe his heart, telling himself it wasn’t because he was happy to be standing in a crowded university alley on the first day of May, with the weather finally warming up, holding hands.

Ki Young-han downed the contents of the 500cc beer mug with a tak sound, setting the mug down hard. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. He had only taken a sip of beer, but nearly half the mug was empty. The tangled feelings in his heart had not only untangled but had swollen up as if soaked in water.

Ki Young-han’s lips kept twitching. So, he picked up a couple of greasy french fries and moved his lips.

Yoon Ye-jun was watching Ki Young-han intently. It seemed his mood had quickly improved after receiving the apology. The frown that was always there was now completely gone. How could a person be so simple? He knew that people who were easily angered were often simple, but he hadn’t expected it to be to this extent.

Yoon Ye-jun glanced into the crowded beer house and said,

“It’s nice that I’m off work today.”

“You don’t usually take time off?”

Ki Young-han, who would normally not have responded, seemed unusually cheerful. He even spoke warmly.

“Yeah. There’s nothing much to do, so it’s better to just earn money.”

As soon as he finished speaking, a chasm appeared on Ki Young-han’s seemingly happy face. Ki Young-han, twitching his nose and showing his emotions, was truly unpredictable. His mood swings should have had some limits.

“That….”

Ki Young-han, hesitating uncharacteristically, picked up his beer mug again and drank it down without hesitation. Yoon Ye-jun, looking at him, shifted his gaze from Ki Young-han’s throat to the mug he had set down.

Wow… He looks already drunk. The speed at which he was drinking was vastly different from the barbecue restaurant they went to earlier. Ki Young-han slammed his mug down with a tak sound, his voice piercing through the music that seemed to tear at his eardrums.

“That person I saw the other day.”

“Who?”

“Ah, that. The one who unnecessarily wears a suit at school.”

“Ah…”

Yoon Ye-jun, who hadn’t expected Kim Jae-ui to come out of Ki Young-han’s mouth, stammered in surprise. Ki Young-han must have seen him at the retreat too… Or did he not? It was a crowded place, so even he was confused. Or maybe he was so drunk he blacked out… No, that couldn’t be it. Judging by the talk about kissing the next day, that wasn’t it. Then, a conclusion began to form. Ki Young-han was never very interested in others.

“You said that person said you skipped work because of him. Why did you do that then?”

Ki Young-han, who had hesitated at first, asked the question without hesitation, even though it was a difficult one. When had he heard that story? Yoon Ye-jun tilted his head. Then he recalled the last time the three of them had met. The day Ki Young-han bumped into Kim Jae-ui’s shoulder, it seemed he had heard all he needed to hear.

Why would I have skipped? Because I liked him and wanted to be with him. Ki Young-han had asked him a few times if he liked men, and although he had denied it, they had done everything else, so it was now awkward to deny it. But he felt it was a bit much to say such cheesy things to Ki Young-han. Yoon Ye-jun said it as casually as possible.

“The senior misunderstood. That I skipped work because of him. I rarely did that. I just wanted to drink. I was young then. Now, money is more important.”

Ki Young-han interrogated him.

“Were you very close? You always just reminisce.”

“It’s because we were close. We’re not now, and I don’t have much else to talk about.”

“How impressive.”

Ki Young-han sneered. Just then, the part-time worker who had been scolded by Ki Young-han approached them with a bowl of fruit punch filled with ice and canned fruit.

“The boss asked me to bring this.”

“Ah, thank you.”

“The boss asked if you came here to drink for free.”

“Why would you say that to a customer who’s boosting sales?”

More banter followed. Then, Yoon Ye-jun glanced at Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han glared at the man and then chugged more beer. Right. It must be uncomfortable. Yoon Ye-jun said a perfunctory thank you and sent the man away.

“Young-han.”

Yoon Ye-jun called out to Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han blinked his eyes open slowly, as if drunk. Ah, he shouldn’t get drunk. How was he going to get him home? While Yoon Ye-jun was looking troubled, Ki Young-han took another sip of beer.

Yoon Ye-jun quickly picked up a french fry with his fork and offered it to Ki Young-han. Surely, he wouldn’t just shove his mouth onto it like before. He had been startled at the barbecue restaurant earlier too. He had expected Ki Young-han to take the food with chopsticks, but instead, Ki Young-han had opened his mouth wide and taken it in one bite. Even if he himself didn’t think much of it because he was drunk, it created an awkward situation for those around them and for himself.

“Eat this.”

He said, placing the fork in front of him. Ki Young-han, looking at the french fry on the fork, drew out his words, “Mmm…” and looked up.

“Feed me.”

Ki Young-han acted like a nuisance, which didn’t suit him when he was drunk.

“Just eat it, come on. You said you’d need strength later.”

He had no intention of making a suggestive joke, but he was worried that Ki Young-han would just keep drinking without eating anything if he didn’t say something like this. Ki Young-han, with a slight frown, finally picked up the fork and took a mouthful of french fries.

Chewing the french fry, he cursed, saying he was annoyed. His face was usually sullen, but with his cheeks flushed from drinking, he looked strangely amusing and cute, and Yoon Ye-jun let out a laugh. With a soft chuckle, Ki Young-han lowered his gaze and picked a peach from the hwachae. It was good that he was eating. At least he wouldn’t get as drunk.

Despite Yoon Ye-jun’s efforts, Ki Young-han was completely drunk. His large frame couldn’t stand properly, and he clung to Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulder. He had no intention of abandoning him, but the grip on his shoulder was so strong, it felt like he might.

“Hey, it hurts.”

Yoon Ye-jun twisted his shoulder, which Ki Young-han was leaning on and holding onto. But Ki Young-han showed no sign of letting go. Instead, he gripped even tighter. Eventually, unable to withstand Ki Young-han’s strength, Yoon Ye-jun stumbled out of the bar.

“Ki Young-han.”

Yoon Ye-jun dragged Ki Young-han, who was like a fish on a fishing line, into the alley. It was unusual for him to think of smoking a cigarette while supporting Ki Young-han, but the alcohol was potent.

He didn’t need to support Ki Young-han. Even if he hadn’t been holding onto him, Ki Young-han was holding on so tightly that it didn’t matter.

Ki Young-han moved his body back and forth, following Yoon Ye-jun’s steps. Yoon Ye-jun looked at Ki Young-han with pity. He wondered why this guy drank so much when he couldn’t hold his liquor well. He even thought that maybe he was deliberately drinking with him, intending to cause trouble.

Yoon Ye-jun leaned against the building wall. He took a cigarette out of his pocket and put it in his mouth. He spun the lighter wheel. With a tak sound, a small flame ignited and he brought it to the tip of the cigarette. Smoke quickly filled the air.

“I’m going to die.”

Leaning against the wall, he continuously smoked. Ki Young-han made a… sound. He tilted his head and buried his cheek against Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulder. It was absurd that this guy, who usually had no affection and was the epitome of rudeness, was acting like this.

But what should he do with him?

As he smoked, lost in thought, he slowly began to make rational judgments. It was a difficult situation. How should he get him home? Was it okay to put him in a taxi? Would he be able to get home properly after getting out of the taxi? Would he have the strength to enter his password?

Yoon Ye-jun moved the cigarette from his mouth to his fingers and tilted his head.

“Ki Young-han, can you get home?”

“……”

He had asked, but there was no answer. Swaying, Ki Young-han straightened himself, holding onto Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulder. Yoon Ye-jun’s body tilted along with him. His size couldn’t be ignored. Putting aside the weight, he was also swayed by Ki Young-han’s strength. He should tell him not to drink with other people. If he acted like this towards him, how much worse would he be to his close friends?

Come to think of it, does he even have close friends? The guy he saw at the retreat seemed friendly. Should he try contacting him?

Yoon Ye-jun felt Ki Young-han’s body, searching for his mobile phone, and asked,

“Young-han, tell me your home Password.”

There was still no answer.

Amazing. Yoon Ye-jun gave a wry smile. He moved the cigarette in his hand to his mouth. Holding the cigarette between his teeth, he fumbled in Ki Young-han’s pants pocket. The mobile phone was in his right pocket. He grabbed it with his hand. At the same time, Ki Young-han raised his head. Yoon Ye-jun met Ki Young-han’s eyes, his head tilted.

“……”

“……”

I need to take out my phone. But Ki Young-han reached out first.

Ki Young-han snatched the cigarette from Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth and put it in his own. Hazy smoke was exhaled between his teeth. In the dark alley, Ki Young-han shone uniquely. He looked strangely seductive. Yoon Ye-jun was also feeling the effects of alcohol, though not as much as Ki Young-han.

Yoon Ye-jun gritted his teeth. He had never felt particularly sexually attracted to anyone in his life, so this feeling was entirely new.

“Ki Young-han.”

“…Yes.”

Ki Young-han answered with his eyes half-closed. His pronunciation was a little slurred because he was holding a cigarette, but that was fine in its own way. Since he had answered, he should have asked how he was going to get home, but a different question came out of Yoon Ye-jun’s mouth.

“Want to come to my place?”

Yoon Ye-jun made an excuse. Ki Young-han was very drunk. It was dangerous to send him home alone when he was so intoxicated. What would happen if he sent a guy who couldn’t even say his Password home alone? Even if he contacted a friend, that friend might not know his home Password either.

Yoon Ye-jun gave up on taking out Ki Young-han’s mobile phone. And he waited for Ki Young-han’s answer. Ki Young-han blinked, closing and opening his eyes. He straightened his tilted head and pulled his chin in. The speed at which he blinked was slower than usual.

The noise of the bustling university district scattered like tinnitus in Yoon Ye-jun’s ears.

Beep- Beep- Beep- Beep- Beep-

With the sound of entering a five-digit Password, a mechanical voice chimed. Click, the door opened. Yoon Ye-jun’s residence was in a relatively quiet area with villas, unlike the street filled with bars.

In the silence, Yoon Ye-jun gritted his teeth and supported Ki Young-han. As they staggered inside, Ki Young-han, leaning against the wall, exhaled.

“Haa…”

“Why are you sighing?”

Yoon Ye-jun reached back and pulled the door shut. Beep-ri-rik*. With the sound of the door closing, he squeezed his eyes shut and opened them again. He familiarized himself with the wall by the entrance and pressed the switch. Soon, bright light filled the dark house.

Just dragging Ki Young-han in was a chore. By then, the heat he felt in the alley had completely dissipated. He couldn’t understand how his parents had raised him to be so heavy. His face was pretty, but his body and strength were formidable. Yoon Ye-jun took off his shoes at the entrance and stepped inside.

Unlike his own shoes, which were placed neatly, Ki Young-han’s shoes were thrown aside. Yoon Ye-jun, dragging him inside, unhesitatingly threw Ki Young-han onto the bed. Then, he stood alone in the center of the 4-pyeong studio apartment and looked down at him.

“……”

The bed was full even with just Ki Young-han lying on it. One of them would have to sleep on the floor, and he felt a little resentful. Why did he have to worry about a drunk person in his own home?

“Haa…”

Still, it was ultimately his fault. He felt a sexual heat over something as trivial as having his cigarette stolen. Ki Young-han was Ki Young-han. He was someone who didn’t listen at all, and who ruined people’s moods with every word he uttered.

Yoon Ye-jun let out the deep sighs that escaped him and managed to calm himself. He wiped the back of his neck with the back of his hand. It wasn’t exactly hot weather, but he was sweating from the effort of dragging Ki Young-han.

Let’s take a shower.

After calming himself down, he opened the built-in closet. He took out some underwear and, leaving Ki Young-han sprawled on the bed, went into the bathroom. He needed to quell the heat caused by physical exertion, which was different from sexual heat.

After washing up, he came out to find Ki Young-han sitting on the bed, where he should have been lying down. He seemed to have sobered up. So what? The cold water had calmed the heat that had been swirling inside him. Yoon Ye-jun shook his head with the towel wrapped around his neck and threw the towel into the laundry basket.

Ki Young-han raised his head slightly at the sound of movement. Whether he was drunk or not, he was still handsome. Ki Young-han leaned his body against the wall next to the bed and rested the back of his head on the window frame. Then, he tilted his head back and met Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes.

“I want to drink water.”

Ki Young-han frowned and touched his throat. Yoon Ye-jun opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. He took a sip to wet his own throat and then handed it to Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han grabbed the large plastic bottle with one hand and drank the water. Gulp, gulp, his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down. He must have been thirsty, as he drank the water without pausing.

He drinks water well. Yoon Ye-jun watched him for a moment, then shook his head more vigorously. Ki Young-han placed the empty water bottle on the bedside table.

“Do you want to wash up?”

Still, since I brought Ki Young-han here, I had to take care of him. Yoon Ye-jun thought it would be better to at least have Ki Young-han wash up rather than letting him sleep in his going-out clothes, so he suggested it. He asked simply, without any ulterior motives, and felt Ki Young-han’s gaze land on him.

“I’ve already put out the toothbrush. The yellow one.”

Yoon Ye-jun gave a thumbs-up, pointing to the bathroom behind him. Ki Young-han’s face, which Yoon Ye-jun had expected to rise obediently, contorted with displeasure.

Did it show why I brought him here? But it’s not like that anymore. It’s natural for guilt to follow when impure feelings come first.

Yoon Ye-jun subtly averted his gaze.

“…I’m going to die.”

Ki Young-han’s voice, muffled and low from being steeped in alcohol, escaped his lips. The alcohol was starting to wear off, and he seemed to be getting a hangover. Yoon Ye-jun considered buying him some medicine, but Ki Young-han was faster. He soon took off his top and got up from his seat.

Yoon Ye-jun scanned Ki Young-han once more. He didn’t know about his inner self, but externally, he was perfect. His face was like something drawn with a fine brush, yet his build was large, creating a strange contrast. But it suited him well. In a word, he was handsome.

“……”

If only he didn’t scowl so fiercely.

Yoon Ye-jun furrowed his brow and watched Ki Young-han’s retreating back as he headed for the bathroom, then looked away. He grabbed his Mobile phone and sat on the bed, checking his messages. He replied to his part-time job friend who asked when he left and, having nothing else to do, browsed online news articles.

The sound of dripping water could be heard from beyond the bathroom door, but it didn’t bother him. Sometimes his friends would stay over. Even though they had to sleep practically crammed in, it was so cramped. Yoon Ye-jun, staring at his Mobile phone with an indifferent expression, developed deep lines between his brows.

Kim Jae-ui

Ye-jun.

11:28 PM

Are you doing okay? Contact me if anything is difficult. Anytime.

11:29 PM

Looking at the message that popped up, he sent back a short reply, “Yes,” without any intention of smoothing the frown between his brows. No further reply came.

Was Kim Jae-ui always this pathetic? Well, in the early days of college, there were moments when seniors’ actions seemed cool just because they were seniors, even if they weren’t. The narrow-minded thought that one must date in their twenties also definitely existed.

But now… now he didn’t know. He probably wouldn’t. Would he even find someone he liked? The only person he’d been seeing often recently was Ki Young-han. But thinking about it, Ki Young-han had changed a bit too. He no longer called him dirty or anything else like he did when they first met. He’d figured it out himself. That he and Ki Young-han, who kissed and did other things, were the same in that they had the same genitals.

“……”

What would it be like to date Ki Young-han? His thoughts veered in a strange direction without his conscious effort. He could guarantee it would last at most a day. Maybe two hours. He imagined they’d end up blushing all over, cursing, and even getting into a fistfight. The mere thought was dreadful, and he let out a short laugh at himself for having such thoughts.

It was a truly strange thought. If it appeared in a dream, he wouldn’t even think it was a nightmare; he’d just dismiss it as a weird dream.

Just then, the bathroom door opened, and Ki Young-han emerged. Ki Young-han vigorously towel-dried his hair. His brown hair scattered wildly within the towel. Yoon Ye-jun belatedly looked up. The person who had been immersed in dark, solitary fantasies of dating and breaking up just five seconds ago was standing naked in front of the bathroom.

“Ah.”

I forgot to get his clothes. Yoon Ye-jun reached for his clothes, intending to get them from the bed. But Ki Young-han was faster. He strode over and lay down on the bed. The springs in the mattress creaked under his weight.

With Ki Young-han taking up a large portion of the bed, Yoon Ye-jun was suddenly pushed towards the wall. It was naturally cramped with two people sprawling on the already narrow bed. Yoon Ye-jun looked down at Ki Young-han with a displeased expression. Ki Young-han, who slowly blinked his eyes open, still seemed somewhat intoxicated.

His slow blinking made his eyelashes more noticeable. As his eyelids narrowed, the tips of his long lashes trembled slightly as he opened his eyes lazily.

“You know you’re a real pain when you drink.”

“……”

“And yet you make such a fuss over me accidentally throwing up?”

Yoon Ye-jun had also had some alcohol. Though not as drunk as Ki Young-han, his tone was more scattered than usual. Ki Young-han let out a soft, breathy laugh. Then he slowly closed his eyes. Yoon Ye-jun shut his mouth. Without a reaction, it wasn’t fun to keep prodding.

Yoon Ye-jun decided to take advantage of his tipsiness to admire Ki Young-han’s face. He began to look down at him intently. Where else would he get to see a face like this? This semester had at most two months left, and after that, they wouldn’t have any reason to keep in touch.

Even though he could clearly sense Yoon Ye-jun’s presence, Ki Young-han didn’t react. He closed his eyes, breathing in and out deeply as if asleep.

“Your place smells.”

“Does it smell like an e-cigarette?”

“No. Fabric softener. Don’t use that.”

He’s meddling in the strangest things. What business is it of his what fabric softener I use? Yoon Ye-jun retorted, twisting his lips.

“Why.”

“…Because it smells.”

Ki Young-han spoke more slowly than usual. Whether he was tired or still drunk, his usual sharp tone was absent. Yoon Ye-jun’s eyes, which had casually scanned Ki Young-han, who lay naked in bed without a hint of shame, twinkled. His gaze was fixed precisely between his legs.

“Wow…”

The guy who was talking about smells was hard and erect. Yoon Ye-jun drew out a sound, “Ugh…” He tried to pretend he didn’t notice, but Ki Young-han opened his tightly shut eyes. Their gazes met, as if they were deep in a kiss. Goosebumps rose on Yoon Ye-jun’s arms.

Ki Young-han, who had been lying on his back looking at the ceiling, turned onto his side. He turned towards Yoon Ye-jun and buried his nose in his thigh. Yoon Ye-jun could feel Ki Young-han’s hot breath through his underwear, against his skin. Ki Young-han’s hand, gripping Yoon Ye-jun’s calf, slowly moved down.

“Can I masturbate?”

“Don’t.”

Yoon Ye-jun was a little flustered, not expecting the atmosphere to suddenly shift this way. He thought the alcohol was clearing up, but then Ki Young-han was getting hard for no reason and asking to masturbate. He bit his lip in embarrassment.

Ki Young-han remained still, like a dog waiting for permission to eat. He just buried his nose in Yoon Ye-jun’s thigh, breathing in. His sharp breath touched Yoon Ye-jun’s skin. Sniffing, he tickled Ki Young-han’s groin. Yoon Ye-jun bit his lips together.

Ki Young-han soon brought his hand over Yoon Ye-jun’s. Yoon Ye-jun slowly bent at the waist. Then, following Ki Young-han, he lay down. He lay looking at Ki Young-han. Their faces were close enough to kiss.

“Then do it for me.”

Yoon Ye-jun moved his hand, gazing at Ki Young-han’s face. Ki Young-han’s hand, clasped over his, was hot and large. With every stroke of Yoon Ye-jun’s fingertips on the shaft, it grew larger. He found it strange that Ki Young-han was getting so aroused even while drunk. Yoon Ye-jun slipped his hand inside his underwear and pulled out his genitals. Then they masturbated together.

“Ah…”

Ki Young-han let out a soft sigh. He twisted his head and pressed his mouth against Yoon Ye-jun’s slightly parted lips, then pulled away. He liked the sound of their breaths, so he pressed his lips together again. Yoon Ye-jun’s lips twitched first. Ki Young-han pushed his tongue through the gap between his lips. It tasted strongly of toothpaste.

They carefully brushed their tongues together. He placed one hand on Yoon Ye-jun’s side. He pulled Yoon Ye-jun closer and embraced him. As their kiss deepened, Yoon Ye-jun’s hand also tightened. Ki Young-han’s hand moved down his skin. He fumbled with Yoon Ye-jun’s underwear. Digging into the waistband, he cupped Yoon Ye-jun’s bulging buttocks.

“Ha…”

“…Ah, wait.”

Yoon Ye-jun flinched and twisted his head. Ki Young-han’s large hand squeezed Yoon Ye-jun’s buttocks hard. He applied pressure, holding the soft flesh in his palm.

It’s so soft.

Ki Young-han thought to himself. Suddenly, it seemed like it might be okay. Because Yoon Ye-jun was different from the gorillas he’d seen in videos. Ki Young-han silently pressed his mouth against Yoon Ye-jun’s lips, then climbed on top of him. Yoon Ye-jun was still focused on moving his hand, shaking his genitals.

“You know.”

Instead of answering, Yoon Ye-jun gripped Ki Young-han’s waist. Moving his waist slightly, he rubbed their erect shafts together. Ki Young-han didn’t finish his sentence; instead, he slowly traced his lips from Yoon Ye-jun’s chin up to his cheek, pressing his lips silently.

Yoon Ye-jun wrinkled his brow each time Ki Young-han’s lips touched his skin. But the soft sensation wasn’t entirely unpleasant, so he just accepted it. Until Ki Young-han spoke.

“I watched a porn video with gay guys flocking to it.”

Ki Young-han’s words were not something to be said while naked men were caressing each other. Yoon Ye-jun paused. He grabbed Ki Young-han’s cheek, who was about to kiss him again, and held it steady. Why did you watch that? Why are you telling me? He looked at Ki Young-han with eyes full of questions. He felt he shouldn’t hear any more, but he couldn’t easily stop himself.

“But, fuck… it was disgusting.”

Yoon Ye-jun’s expression clearly hardened. It was ridiculous that he was now calling things disgusting when he was currently rolling around with a man like himself and even sucking his dick. It should have been funny, but he couldn’t control his expression. Biting his lip to steady his ragged breathing, Yoon Ye-jun asked in a low voice,

“Why are you telling me that.”

His voice came out stiffly without his intention.

“Because when I watched it, I kept thinking of you.”

“If it’s disgusting, why do you think of me.”

Having finished speaking, Yoon Ye-jun laughed self-deprecatingly. Ki Young-han knew nothing. Of course, since he had never said he liked men. Since he knew nothing, he was probably just saying whatever he wanted to say.

Or maybe he knew, but he could still act like this. It was Ki Young-han. Ki Young-han, who never considered other people’s feelings. It was natural, and he knew it all, but why was he getting hurt by such words?

Ki Young-han, who knew nothing, soon opened his mouth.

“Because it seemed like it would be okay with you. Even then. Really… Ah.”

Ki Young-han scrunched up his face. He was talking about himself, but his face looked like he was forcing the words out.

“It seemed okay?”

Yoon Ye-jun asked again. Ki Young-han blinked his eyes slowly and nodded. Yoon Ye-jun’s face was reflected in his eyes, which seemed deeper today.

Even if they had been getting along a little recently, Ki Young-han was still Ki Young-han. They were opposites, if anything, and he was the type of person he disliked. He had forgotten. Ki Young-han was the one who had called him dirty from the start.

‘Disgusting, really…’

Suddenly, he remembered what Ki Young-han had said on their first meeting. It had been a while, and the memory was fading, but it resurfaced like this. Truly, the subconscious was amazing.

Yoon Ye-jun took off the underwear he was wearing on his lower body. Then he pushed Ki Young-han’s shoulder and climbed on top of him. Ki Young-han fiddled with Yoon Ye-jun’s genitals as he climbed on top. Crazy bastard, you’re so desperate to touch a man’s dick. Curses rose to the tip of his throat. Yoon Ye-jun placed his hands on Ki Young-han’s chest. Their gazes met.

“You dirty bastard.”

After speaking, Yoon Ye-jun lowered his upper body and rubbed his lips against Ki Young-han’s. Ki Young-han’s hands, which had been stroking his waistline, gripped his buttocks again. Yoon Ye-jun licked Ki Young-han’s lips lingeringly. Then Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s upper body and pushed him down. Rolling around on the narrow bed, they continued with rough kisses.

Yoon Ye-jun had never kissed for this long. Because of Ki Young-han’s intense sucking that made his lips ache, he didn’t even have time to wipe away the semen scattered on his lower abdomen. Whenever their lips threatened to part, Ki Young-han kept pressing them together.

“Ah, it hurts…”

Yoon Ye-jun finally twisted his head. Ki Young-han, who had been holding his cheek, scowled at Yoon Ye-jun’s action of pushing his hand away.

“My lips hurt, I can’t do it.”

“Then.”

“Do it somewhere else.”

“…Did I lend it to you?”

His gruff tone remained. Ki Young-han soon buried his head in Yoon Ye-jun’s neck. He bit his skin gently with his lips. He wondered if another mark would be left, but the caress didn’t last long. Ki Young-han moved down and took Yoon Ye-jun’s nipple into his mouth, rolling it with his tongue. It felt strange when he applied pressure and pulled hard with his lips, but it was easier thinking it was the last time.

Let’s get back at Ki Young-han. He had spoken carelessly without knowing anything, but ultimately, Yoon Ye-jun was the one hit by that thoughtless stone. How dreadful would it be to have sex with someone he found so disgusting and repulsive? They wouldn’t see each other again. They just needed to meet for assignments, like the first time. Whether it was early in the morning, at 6 AM, or after finishing his part-time job at night, he could go.

Despite his complicated thoughts, he liked how Ki Young-han was earnestly, yet with uncontrollable strength, sucking as if to tear his skin. Yoon Ye-jun placed his arms on Ki Young-han’s shoulders. Ki Young-han pulled out his tongue and licked Yoon Ye-jun’s swollen nipple, then looked up.

“Ki Young-han.”

“Yes.”

“Just a moment.”

At Yoon Ye-jun’s words, Ki Young-han lifted his body. Yoon Ye-jun placed his feet on Ki Young-han’s thighs, which were between his legs. He bent his knees like a frog. The semen that had soaked his lower abdomen was bothersome, but he didn’t care. Was he the only one? Ki Young-han’s pinkish white uterus was also thoroughly wet.

“……”

Yoon Ye-jun spread his legs in front of Ki Young-han. His hands trembled. Yoon Ye-jun had experience, but he didn’t enjoy it. He did it if the other person wanted it, but usually, it wasn’t like that. Of course, he had never done it from behind by himself.

Yoon Ye-jun, who had lived his life thinking he would never have to masturbate in front of someone else, let alone from behind, could never have imagined showing such a side to Ki Young-han. Contrary to his thoughts, his fingers slowly dug in. The fluid that dripped from his wet genitals ran down his perineum, wetting him, but it wasn’t enough.

“…Ugh.”

He finally let out broken sounds, “Ugh, ugh…” Ki Young-han just stared at Yoon Ye-jun. Ki Young-han’s gaze, which had been looking at the space between his spread legs, turned to Yoon Ye-jun’s face. His cheeks were flushed red. Biting his lower lip and furrowing his brow, Yoon Ye-jun looked sexy. And then his gaze fell down again.

“……”

Ki Young-han swallowed dryly.

Yoon Ye-jun’s appearance was different from the gorillas Ki Young-han had seen in videos. There was no fur surrounding the opening like a fence. Unlike Yoon Ye-jun’s dark skin, the opening, which he bit his finger and clenched shut, was a light pink, like his nipples. It was the color of strawberry milk. Yoon Ye-jun moved his fingers, groaning. But it wouldn’t open with just one finger.

“Ah…”

Should I just give up? Thinking about it, what great fortune was he gaining, and was it worth going this far just to get back at Ki Young-han? Realizing this belatedly, Yoon Ye-jun withdrew his hand. Pulling it out was even more arduous. He slowly pulled his hand back.

“……”

Ki Young-han grabbed his wrist.

“Why is the color pink?”

Ki Young-han asked a random, strange question. Instead of answering, Yoon Ye-jun scowled.

“I… want to try putting it in too.”

“Hey…”

The hand holding Yoon Ye-jun’s wrist slowly moved down. Squish, squish, it rubbed his wet lower half, and then his fingers dug in. Into the opening that had been full with just one, Yoon Ye-jun and Ki Young-han’s fingers entered together.

“Ugh… Wait, just a moment…”

“Have you ever masturbated from behind?”

“Ah, wait… Don’t bend your fingers, ugh.”

In the meantime, another of Ki Young-han’s fingers entered. Inside, which held Yoon Ye-jun’s one finger and Ki Young-han’s two, Ki Young-han bent his fingers. He pressed against the soft flesh, widening it. Yoon Ye-jun arched his back and pulled his hand out.

“Is it always this soft?”

“Wait…”

“Wow…”

Ki Young-han exclaimed in admiration. His hand, which had blindly pulled back, thrust forward with a thwack*. Yoon Ye-jun curled his back. As Ki Young-han’s fingers withdrew and pushed in again, his breathing grew rougher. Panting, his breaths sounded beastly.

Ki Young-han settled himself between his thighs, lowering his upper body again as he thrust into Yoon Ye-jun’s hole. He buried his lips in Yoon Ye-jun’s nipples, which had swollen from being sucked so hard. He sucked, making wet, slurping sounds. Ki Young-han’s genitals, hard and thoroughly wet at the tip, rubbed against his perineum as they pressed against Yoon Ye-jun’s testicles.

“Wait, hng, ah, ah…”

“Where are you going?”

Ki Young-han asked, his words muffled as he bit down on the nipple. Yoon Ye-jun gasped for air. It was the same with what was being pushed inside him with fingers, but the nipples, bitten as if to tear them off, hurt the most.

“My nipples… it hurts, stop biting.”

Ki Young-han readily pulled back. Instead, he gently licked Yoon Ye-jun’s nipples with his tongue. The fingers that had come out did the same. He soon brought the tip of his own genitals, which had slid down Yoon Ye-jun’s perineum, to his lower half.

“You…”

“That damn gorilla-like…”

It was a sudden tangent about gorillas. Yoon Ye-jun didn’t understand. He just gazed blankly at Ki Young-han, who was rubbing his glans against his lower half.

“This is why porn is so damn bad. It gives you the wrong ideas about sex…”

“Don’t, bullshit…”

Yoon Ye-jun immediately placed his palm over Ki Young-han’s mouth. His lower face was covered, but his furrowed brow remained. Ki Young-han, with his usual sullen expression, put force into his lower body. Yoon Ye-jun, looking up at Ki Young-han with an annoyed face at the pointless talk, closed one eye as if winking.

The glans, which had pushed into his closed lower half, slowly slid inward. With a short gasp, Yoon Ye-jun lowered his hands and tightly gripped the sheets. Because it was a poorly soundproofed studio apartment, they had to be more careful.

“Ah… relax, a little.”

Ki Young-han said, his voice raspy. Yoon Ye-jun, catching his breath, shifted his lower half. He wanted to let go, but the inability to do so was agonizing.

“You, ugh… you do it yourself.”

He finally yielded control to the man on top of him. Ki Young-han winked. Then, he grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s shoulders and lowered his body. Thump, his genitals filled the inside tightly, and his lower abdomen tensed. Yoon Ye-jun quickly wrapped his legs around Ki Young-han’s hips and thighs.

“Ah, shit…”

Ki Young-han let out a low curse. It was too tight, and he couldn’t move properly. He bit his lower lip hard. He moved his lower body while tightly embracing Yoon Ye-jun’s back and shoulders. Thwack, thwack… Yoon Ye-jun writhed as his genitals, parting his flesh, were forcefully pushed deep inside.

“Ah, wait, hng, ah, too…”

It was too fast. He was just thrusting in blindly, but because of its size, it filled him completely. Each thrust and withdrawal tore through his insides. It was hell. Yoon Ye-jun tried to catch his breath, but it was difficult.

“It’s too fast, I’m telling you…!”

He hit Ki Young-han’s back hard enough to make a thwack sound. At the same time, Ki Young-han thrust his genitals deep inside again. He spread his clenched fist and scratched Ki Young-han’s back. His fingernails drew long scratches.

Yoon Ye-jun was tossed around inside while clinging to Ki Young-han. Slap, slap… the sound of splashing liquid. He couldn’t even see Ki Young-han’s face. He didn’t care what expression he had. He was just being tossed around.

Ki Young-han bit Yoon Ye-jun’s neck hard with his teeth. His already swollen nipples were rubbed roughly against some part of Ki Young-han’s upper body. Without needing to masturbate, his genitals moved wildly with his body’s movements.

“Hng, ah, hngh… ah, ah…!”

Yoon Ye-jun bit Ki Young-han’s shoulder hard, not wanting to make a sound, but Ki Young-han didn’t seem to care, just pushing his genitals deeper inside. Ki Young-han moved his lower half as if sowing seeds, and when he thrust deep into one spot, Yoon Ye-jun swallowed hard and held his breath.

He squeezed his eyes shut and twisted his waist. Drip, semen poured from his urethral opening, wetting his lower abdomen once more. But Ki Young-han didn’t stop. His rapidly moving genitals rummaged through every part of Yoon Ye-jun’s insides. Wherever he pressed, Yoon Ye-jun let out a moan.

“Ah, I don’t think I can… ah, hng…”

“Wait, hoook, just a moment, a little more…”

Ki Young-han exhaled roughly.

You dirty bastard. Who has sex like this on their first time from behind?

There was no consideration, just brute force and thrusting. Yoon Ye-jun didn’t even have the strength to wrap his body around Ki Young-han’s; he just moved wherever Ki Young-han pushed or pulled. He wanted to relax his body, but it wasn’t easy. His genitals hit his wet lower abdomen, making a slap, slap wet sound.

After rummaging for a long time, Ki Young-han sat up. He grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s waist and pulled him towards him. A stream of liquid, like urinating, poured out from deep inside.

“Haa…”

With rough breaths, his genitals slowly withdrew. Gush, the semen that had filled him poured out. It was so much that it dripped down every time Yoon Ye-jun caught his breath.

“Ah…”

Ki Young-han wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. He pushed his bangs back. His face looked as if it were boiling.

“…Good.”

Ki Young-han said, touching Yoon Ye-jun’s wet abdomen. Then he rubbed his genitals against Yoon Ye-jun’s thighs. Without time to savor the afterglow, Ki Young-han’s began to grow in size again just from being rubbed against his skin.

On the other hand, Yoon Ye-jun felt the worst. Although Ki Young-han was selfish, he never imagined he would be penetrated like this. He thought he would have the upper hand if he had the choice. After all, it was his first time with a man. But even worse than that was the fact that Ki Young-han’s sex style suited him.

Being pinned down by his large body, being thrust into however he pleased, kissing, and caressing—Yoon Ye-jun, who had only ever had mundane relationships, had never imagined this would suit him.

Yoon Ye-jun stared up at Ki Young-han, who was busily rubbing his lower half against his thigh. He watched Ki Young-han, who was biting his lip and rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, trying to quell his sexual heat. Ki Young-han, looking at his own face, continued to masturbate.

Yoon Ye-jun bit his lip and turned his head. He liked it, his body was honestly screaming that it loved it, but his mind had to remain calm. Because he wouldn’t be involved with this guy anymore.

“Why aren’t you looking at me?”

As if to block out his thoughts, Ki Young-han grabbed Yoon Ye-jun’s cheek and forced him to turn his head. A persistent kiss followed.

[You asked me to do the tutoring early today, so I’m leaving first. You don’t need to clean up, just go. A friend is coming over, so leave before 12.]

Ki Young-han squinted at the yellow sticky note with the message.

“How can a person be like this?”

No one was listening, but his grumbling mouth didn’t stop. He had no intention of setting a mood with Yoon Ye-jun. Still. Even so, he hadn’t expected to wake up the day after they had sex in an empty house, alone, to an empty space beside him. Not to mention the hangover that kept popping up.

When he woke up, washed himself, and came out of the room with the lingering traces of their intimacy, he thought Yoon Ye-jun had just gone to the convenience store or for a cigarette. But after thirty minutes, he hadn’t returned, and he wasn’t answering his phone.

Even after changing and getting ready to go home, Yoon Ye-jun didn’t show up. Ki Young-han wandered around the cramped studio apartment alone and found the note on the desk.

“……”

The contents of the note were cold. He hadn’t expected them to say ‘take a break,’ but he also hadn’t expected a notification telling him to leave before a certain time. So unromantic. How could someone who’d dated act like this?

Ki Young-han placed the note he was holding back on the desk with a tap. He raised his hand to his shoulder, which stung from Yoon Ye-jun’s scratches. The pain intensified as it rubbed against the fabric of his hoodie. He recalled the previous night. It had been good. He wished the night hadn’t ended. He wanted to keep holding Yoon Ye-jun, tangled up together.

But in the end, Yoon Ye-jun had pushed him away. He’d even said in a threatening voice, “Stop it, please.” Ki Young-han had surprisingly backed down. Because they could meet again, because they could do it again. Thinking that, he fell asleep curled up on the floor without a blanket. The floor was cold, but the heat lingered. He had even dreamed of skinship with Yoon Ye-jun after moving so wildly.

Recalling the previous night, Ki Young-han turned his head towards the messy bed.

The blankets were all tangled, and the sheets were stained with semen, bodily fluids, and blood in places. The blood wasn’t his, so it must have been Yoon Ye-jun’s. To see blood and then go to a tutoring job at dawn. Truly, not an ordinary person.

Ki Young-han eventually took out the blankets and sheets and put them in the washing machine. Yoon Ye-jun’s blanket was thin, like a summer blanket. Even though the weather was getting hot, it wasn’t the kind of weather for such a thin, rag-like blanket. Moreover, for someone living alone, changing the bedding required some effort. His friend Lee Yun-hak would sleep under a thick winter blanket even in midsummer with the air conditioner blasting.

Watching the washing machine shake and rumble, Ki Young-han checked his mobile phone. It was past 11:30.

‘Leave by 12.’

Yoon Ye-jun’s note came to mind. He was going to leave anyway, even if Yoon Ye-jun hadn’t told him to. Who did he think he was, treating him like burnt rice stuck to the pot? Looking at the cramped bed, with no sheets or blankets left, Ki Young-han had a displeased expression.

It must have hurt. There was blood, too. He thought Yoon Ye-jun might have cried at the end, saying it hurt. As a human being, he felt concerned. But he soon shook his head. Why worry about someone who went to their part-time job?

Ki Young-han slipped his hand into the pocket of his clothes, which smelled of alcohol. His wallet and mobile phone fit in one hand.

He finally left the house. It wasn’t because of the note telling him to leave by 12, but he was genuinely going to leave. He had no intention of staying here.

He left the old villa, which had no security whatsoever. The villas in the alley were packed together like barnacles. It looked like they had long given up on sunlight. It was an alley he often saw near school, but it felt strangely different today.

Lee Yun-hak lived in a similar villa, and most of his friends who lived alone did too. But it felt different now…

Ki Young-han walked with a calm expression and stopped in front of a pharmacy. He intended to buy something for his hangover. With a jingle*, he entered. The pharmacist, who was finishing his Saturday morning by watching the news with a bored expression, turned towards Ki Young-han.

“A hangover remedy, please.”

“Did you throw up?”

“No. Just…”

Ki Young-han rubbed the area near his protruding eyebrows with his hand. He licked his dry lips. His gaze fell on the ointment on display. Yoon Ye-jun, there was blood. If there was blood, it must have torn or at least been injured. He felt uneasy, so he decided it would be better to buy some ointment while he was here rather than worry alone.

“Give me this too.”

Ki Young-han, trying to appear nonchalant, took out the ointment and pushed it towards the counter. He drank the hangover remedy at the pharmacy and then, despite only having visited Yoon Ye-jun’s house once before, navigated the winding, maze-like streets and arrived relatively easily. However, he couldn’t just leave it inside the house. For one thing, he didn’t know the password. And honestly, he didn’t want to be seen lingering around the house.

But who was coming over?

What kind of friend would know the password and just come and go as they pleased?

He could find fault with anything if he wanted to. But what was the point of that? Worrying about it would only make him annoyed.

Ki Young-han finally put the ointment he bought into Yoon Ye-jun’s mailbox. Then, he stood blankly in front of the building and left a message.

Me

I bought ointment and left it in your mailbox. Apply it.

11:47 AM