By Zephyria A sudden silence fell. Koi briefly regretted the suffocating stillness, but he soon changed his mind.
I have to say it now.
There won’t be another chance. He wanted to stop flinching and looking at Bernice, wondering what she thought. She was the same as before, but he was the only one feeling small, hurt, and anxious, which felt unfair. Now was the time for him to face her without hesitation and with confidence.
Thinking that, Koi tried to suppress the urge to get up and run away. His heart was pounding like crazy, not knowing what Bernice would say, but he was determined to come to a conclusion. He clenched and unclenched his sweaty hands a couple more times, and finally, Bernice opened her mouth.
“…Someday.”
Koi held his breath and listened intently to her low voice. He was worried that his heartbeat was too loud and he wouldn’t be able to hear her, but of course, that didn’t happen.
“I thought the day would come when I’d have to talk about it. I was going to tell you when that time came… and the opportunity has come.”
Koi tensed up and tightened his shoulders without realizing it. What on earth was she going to say? Slowly, she opened her lips and the sound came out.
“I was wrong. I’m sorry.”
…Huh?
Koi blinked, dumbfounded by the unexpected reaction. She was apologizing so easily? As if it was nothing?
He was dumbfounded and felt a sense of futility. What was he, who had been so hurt by her words and had been so concerned about it until now? It was nothing to her.
But that didn’t mean Koi had anything more to say. She said she was sorry, so what else could he say? That it wasn’t an apology? To beg for forgiveness more sincerely?
He felt even more wronged because it felt like he was just being stubborn no matter what he said. The tip of his nose tingled, and he quickly inhaled, and Bernice began to speak.
“I said harsh things. I know I crossed the line.”
Koi was confused by her usual businesslike tone. Was she really sorry? Why did it feel so unsettling? She paused for a moment, noticing Koi’s unconsciously frowning face, and then confessed.
“I’m not married. I have a cat and a dog. They’re my whole family.”
Koi’s eyes widened at the sudden declaration. What was this all about? Seeing his expression, which revealed his thoughts, Bernice continued without smiling at all.
“It’s not that I’ve never been. Of course, not legally… but yes, I believed I was married. I did.”
Koi listened silently to the last word, which she added as if to emphasize. He didn’t understand it right away, but he thought there must be a reason why she started talking about this. Seeing him waiting silently, Bernice continued her confession.
“I fell in love when I was fifteen. We were classmates, and I thought I would never love someone so passionately and desperately in my life. Of course, that wasn’t wrong. That was the only time I had such a passionate love.”
It was about the same age that Koi first fell in love with Ashley. He felt strange to learn that she also had a similar past. And it wasn’t just a common teenage romance, but a unique love that she would never forget.
“We decided to get married as soon as we graduated. We made detailed plans about how many children we would have and how we would decorate the house. That was really the happiest time of my life. Unfortunately, it was very short.”
She continued her story calmly and matter-of-factly. Koi listened silently without saying anything.
“My father was a very strict man. He was a devout believer and, of course, a believer in premarital chastity. But we couldn’t resist. We loved each other so much and wanted each other so much. Of course, my father found out.”
He somehow knew what would happen next. Koi was somewhat prepared for the all-too-obvious ending, but the story that followed was even more cruel.
“My father sued him for rape, and we ran away together. I couldn’t put him in jail. I was more afraid of having to break up than of becoming a criminal. That’s how much we loved each other. And we were so happy.”
“Then why…”
If she had such a past, wouldn’t she have been able to support Ashley and Koi even more? Koi couldn’t help but interrupt. Bernice still looked at him with a blank face and continued to tell her past.
“And then reality hit. Like a disaster.”
She continued calmly.
“We ran out of money quickly. We had to do anything to make a living, but there was no place that would hire a teenager who hadn’t even graduated from high school. We begged and stole food from stores. Love faded and we fought more and more. We were getting tired of each other.”
Bernice smiled at Koi for the first time. But all she did was raise the corners of her mouth a little.
“I missed home so much.”
After saying self-deprecating words, she paused for a moment, leaving a silence, and Bernice continued the story.
“But we couldn’t let go of each other. Because if I gave up there, I felt like I had lost, I couldn’t accept that my choice was wrong. I thought, I’m never wrong. My love is not wrong…”
At Koi’s surprised expression, she twisted the corners of her mouth and laughed for the first time.
“And one day I found out I was pregnant. I told him, and the next day I woke up and I was alone.”
Koi’s eyes widened at the unimaginable result, and he couldn’t speak. A look of emptiness flashed across Bernice’s face.
“He left me, pregnant. At first, I couldn’t believe it. He left? Abandoned me?”
“…”
“My love, my choice was wrong?”
Bernice laughed briefly again, but it sounded somewhat hollow.
She concluded in a dry voice.
“The rest is as you can imagine. I came home alone, and that’s how the commotion ended. I never saw him again. And until now, I haven’t been able to love anyone again, and I’m living like this.”
Bernice, who seemed to be telling him to look at her, lightly spread out her hands and stared at Koi quietly. Koi felt burdened by her meaningful gaze, but waited for the next words.
“I could see my younger self in you.”
She looked at Koi with an indifferent gaze.
“I thought it was pathetic to cling to a love that was bound to break, a love with a set ending. As an elder, I thought I should let you know the reality. It was really foolish. You weren’t us.”
Koi didn’t answer. It wasn’t because he had nothing to say. There were things he wanted to say, but he didn’t have the courage. Until now, he hadn’t really said what was on his mind. He didn’t want to hurt the other person, and he was afraid of being hated.
But this time he had to be brave. To prove that Ashley and he really loved each other in the past.
“Isn’t it that you really wanted us to break up?”
Koi opened his mouth. He saw Bernice pause, but he continued to speak. His voice trembled slightly, but he didn’t stop.
“You probably wanted it even more because if we did well, it would make your failure even more miserable. So when it went as you wanted, you were relieved. You looked back at your past self and thought the same thing as then.”
Koi paused for a moment and added in an emotional voice.
“See, I wasn’t wrong.”
Bernice didn’t make a sound. But Koi could tell that she was flustered. As proof, she opened her mouth, but she couldn’t speak easily and repeated closing it a couple of times before finally spitting it out with difficulty.
“…Okay. I lost.”
Bernice’s voice flowed out painfully, as if squeezed out.
“I’m really sorry. I was arrogant.”
This time, her apology sounded sincere. The remaining unsettling feeling disappeared, and Koi finally felt relieved.
“No one won or lost. Your love and our love were just different. Neither you nor we did anything wrong, and I think we each made the best choice at the time.”
He said calmly. His voice no longer trembled. Koi said to Bernice, who was silently looking at him.
“I’ll accept your apology. Because there’s nothing we can do about the past.”
Bernice awkwardly raised the corners of her mouth and tried to smile.
“Thank you.”
He felt much better after getting rid of his cowardly past, but conversely, he felt guilty for feeling that way.
“If I had known you were an extreme omega, Mr. Miller wouldn’t have been so harsh.”
The words popped out of Bernice’s mouth. He didn’t know if he was trying to comfort him, but he swore he had no malice. Koi, who confirmed that in Bernice’s tone and face, answered obediently.
“It’s strange to judge a child’s partner by their level in the first place.”
Bernice was inwardly surprised by Koi’s unusually firm tone, but soon a smile appeared.
“You’re right.”
With a much softer attitude, she opened the catalog and began to explain.
*
When Ashley was just leaving the office to go home, he received an unexpected call. He checked the caller ID and widened his eyes in surprise, then answered the phone.
“Koi?”
Koi, who had been pacing near the elevator connected to the parking lot, turned around at the sound of the door opening and ran over with a delighted expression.
“Ash!”
“Koi.”
Ash put the briefcase he was holding on the floor and spread his arms wide. He hugged the body that was immediately embraced in his arms, and Koi comfortably released his Pheromone as he took a deep breath. Soon, a comfortable sigh was heard.
“What’s going on? You came all the way to the company.”
He readily answered the question while still holding Koi.
“I met with Bernice to find out about things, but I missed you.”
“Really?”
Ashley’s voice was full of laughter, as if he was very happy with Koi’s answer. Koi, who was also happy, raised his head, and Ashley kissed him as if he had been waiting for it. Koi closed his eyes and willingly accepted the kiss, and remembered.
It’s different from Bernice.
Of course. They met again and had only each other for the rest of their lives. They will love each other like this now and in the future. And their child.
Will it be a daughter or a son?
Koi thought with excitement. He didn’t know what kind of child would be born, but he could definitely promise one thing.
Whatever choice you make, we will support you.
He smiled automatically as he imagined them with their child. We can do it, we can. Koi was sure. They would definitely be different from their parents.
Because they will show the child unconditional love and trust.