LMI 57

“Hey, hey.”

“You need to chill. And you, stop watching so many dramas. Ugh.”

The remaining guys, caught between the guy who was grinning and the guy who was trying to throw a punch, hurriedly intervened. In the end, the one who didn’t get his way was still breathing hard with an angry face, his fist still clenched tight.

“Dumbass, it’s because he likes him. It’s jealousy. Like, I’m the only one who knows the good things about the person I like, or something….”

“Are you saying Ash likes Koi, then?”

At the sudden words, surprised screams erupted from here and there.

“What?”

“What are you talking about!”

“No, they’re both Beta and guys.”

“Right, and Ash was dating Al until recently, the school queen!”

There was no clearer counterargument than that. Everyone agreed with those words.

“Yeah, no matter what, that’s not it. Koi is cute, but not to the point where Ash would break up with Al to date him, and he’s a guy too.”

“Then what the heck is it?”

They looked at each other, but no answer came. An answer to the question had been given, but they couldn’t agree with it, so they immediately objected, and when the question returned to square one, they raised objections again without giving up, and when the same answer was given to the question that had returned again, they strongly denied it this time. After repeating that several times, they finally got tired and gave up.

“Let’s get dinner. I feel like I’m gonna die.”

The others agreed with someone’s words.

“Who cares whether Ash likes Koi or not.”

“No, still, that’s a bit…”

“Let’s just eat first.”

“Yeah. Let them do what they want. I want a cheeseburger.”

“Hey, let’s go decide. Let’s meet at Green Bell.”

They eventually agreed to go to Green Bell and headed to their respective cars. It was a conclusion that had nothing to do with the initial topic.

*

While heading to the parking lot, the events of just now had already been completely erased from Ashley’s mind. Only Koi came to mind.

Did Koi understand the meaning of what I said yesterday?

He must have been agonizing over it all night, but on the other hand, that means he was thinking about Ashley all night. The thought of Koi spending the night worrying about him filled his mouth with a sweetness born of affection.

Koi, Koi, Koi.

Ashley leaned against his car, checking the watch on his wrist as he waited for Koi to come. It felt like he should have been here already. Could the test be taking a long time?

It didn’t matter. He could wait as long as it took. Ashley looked in one direction. It was the direction of the auditorium where the cheerleading team practiced.

Soon Koi would come running from that way with a flushed face.

The fantasy continued.

He’ll tell me he passed the test first. I should congratulate him and hug him. How small and adorable would Koi be, fitting perfectly in my arms.

A smile naturally appeared on his face, and his heart began to flutter.

Then I should tell him to get in the car first. I shouldn’t forget to lock the car doors, just in case. Of course, Koi won’t notice. All the way home, Koi will excitedly talk about the test. How nervous he was, what mistakes he made, but also how he made up for them, chattering like a sparrow. Then I’ll nod along, sometimes surprised and sometimes impressed. All the while, all I’ll be able to think about is how much I want to devour you.

Just thinking about Koi made the smile never leave his face. He immediately revised the plan he had to confess at the homecoming party. He absolutely couldn’t wait until then. Ashley continued to imagine with a constant smile on his face.

By the time you finish talking, my patience will be running out. By then, the car should have arrived home, right? Then I’ll take you to the gazebo. I’ll reassure you by saying we’re going to have a meal together, take out the food I’ve prepared, and when it gets dark, the garden lights will turn on. Then I’ll ask you under the lights. Whether you’ve thought about the answer to the question I asked.

Your face will turn red. You might not know what to do and avoid my gaze. But even then, your ears will be moving busily. You won’t even try to hide it. I’ll give you plenty of time. No, I might not be able to resist and grab your hand. And I’ll say.

I like you.

Not as a friend, but as someone I’m attracted to, and I’m completely infatuated with you. I can’t think about anything but you all day long.

How flustered will you be then.

But I won’t back down this time. Ashley will whisper that he likes him until he gets an answer, and then eventually Koi will have no choice but to confess as well.

I like you too, he’ll say.

“Haa.”

A trembling sigh involuntarily burst out from deep within his chest. Ashley, who had closed his eyes for a moment and tilted his head back, tried to calm his heart by taking a deep breath. But his heart showed no signs of calming down, and he eventually gave up.

Come quickly, Koi.

It was when he turned his gaze back in the direction he had been looking. Suddenly, the notification sound of his cell phone rang. Ashley checked the message with a smiling face, then stopped dead in his tracks.

[Ash, sorry. I can’t practice today.]

He straightened up from leaning against the car and slowly read the message again, one word at a time. The content remained the same.

[Go on ahead, sorry. -Koi.]

Ashley, who had been lost in a sweet fantasy, felt like he had been doused with cold water. It was the same no matter how many times he reread it. Gradually, the smile disappeared from his face, and instead, bewilderment took its place.

“What is this……?”

*

After sending the message, Koi stared at the words he had written for a while. But no matter how much he tried to read it, his vision was blurred by the tears that kept falling, and he couldn’t read it properly. Unable to even reread the content he had sent as simply as possible, he turned off his cell phone. He didn’t know if Ashley would call again or not. His head was already too full of other things to even think about that.

It was out of pity.

Tears welled up again, and Koi folded his legs and hugged them, burying his face in his knees and sobbing, “Hic, hic.” He had ridden his bike out of school in a daze, but he had made a mistake and ended up on a side road. He braked urgently, but in the end, the bike rolled down the slope and crashed into the ground. Koi, who had fallen with the bike, barely managed to get up, his body aching, and checked the condition of the bike. But in the midst of looking around, tears burst out, and he ended up sitting down on the ground and crying.

〈Think carefully. What did I do for you today, and why did I do it?〉

Ashley’s words came back to his mind.

〈Do you know what that means?〉

Koi sobbed and repeated those words.

〈If you think about it carefully, you’ll know. You already know the answer.〉

Yeah, that’s what it was.

Hic, another sob rose up, and he bit his lip to barely suppress the rough sobbing.

It was pity.

Now I know for sure. That I was under a huge delusion. There’s no way Ashley would like me, how could I dare to have such a delusion.

〈The answer is already inside you.〉

Yeah, I know. I know everything.

That was the right answer, but why did I imagine something so ridiculous?

“I like you…….”

Koi murmured blankly. His own voice scattered faintly in his ears. Only then did he barely accept the truth that he had been ignoring until now.

I like him. Ashley Miller. Not Corner Niles or anyone like that.

How could someone like me.

Ash was just being nice to me because he felt sorry for me.

“Ugh, heee…….”

The tears didn’t stop and continued to pour out. How could there be so many tears inside me, it was almost amazing. No matter how much I cried, the tears didn’t stop. Eventually, he convulsed with violent sobbing, gasping for breath as if he were about to pass out. Koi barely managed to catch his breath and tilted his head back.

I’m glad I didn’t say it.

He was grateful that he had overheard the group’s conversation. He almost made an irreversible mistake.

Do you, by any chance, like me?

Like that.

If I had said that, how dumbfounded would Ashley have been?

Again, tears came out, and Koi covered his eyes with both arms, but tears flowed uncontrollably from his pressed eyelids.

He was just pitying me, and I dared to not know my place.

In Koi’s mind, it was easy to picture Ashley’s face looking down on him. Wouldn’t he have said, “What the heck are you talking about?” He would have said that this is why you shouldn’t be nice to kids like you, and he would have looked down on him.

“Heee…….”

Again, tears welled up, and he cried and cried again.

At that moment, Ashley, frustrated by Koi’s phone being turned off, was driving down the road in search of him. He had already confirmed that the place where Koi always parked his bike was empty. Judging that he couldn’t have gone far no matter how hard he tried on that old bike, he hurriedly drove his Cayenne onto the road, but he couldn’t even find a back view that resembled Koi. Cursing in frustration, he searched the surrounding area for Koi.

While Koi was sobbing and crying, Ashley in his car passed by the bottom of the slope where he was crouching without even checking. And Ashley quickly disappeared, and by the time Koi, with his disheveled appearance, staggered up with his bike, he was already gone.