LMI 38

Episode 38

“All done.”

“…Yeah.”

Koi quickly cleared his throat, afraid that his voice would tremble.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

Ashley, who responded simply, then put on his own skates. Watching him finish the job quickly, unlike when he had carefully tied Koi’s laces, Koi asked,

“How long have you been skating, Ash?”

Ashley answered as he went out onto the rink first.

“Hmm, 4 years old?”

“What?”

The surprised voice escaped when Ashley had already gone that far. Koi sat on the bench and watched Ashley freely skate on the ice. After taking a lap around the wide rink as a test, he soon returned to his original position and stood in front of Koi again.

“Okay, let’s get you skating too.”

Ashley held out his hand. Koi took a deep breath and mustered up the courage to stand up. At that moment, Ashley quickly grabbed his flailing arm.

“Th, thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

Ashley lightly brushed off his words and took Koi’s hands, stepping back. Following his lead, Koi slowly took one step at a time. And finally, it was when he stood on the ice with both feet.

“Aaaah!”

“Koi!”

With a scream, Koi collapsed. His whole body was stuck to the ice, but fortunately, his hands were safe. It was thanks to Ashley holding on tight.

“Koi, it’s okay. Okay, I’ll hold you, so slowly…”

Ashley bent down and helped him up little by little. Koi tried to stand up on his own, but his body wouldn’t cooperate as he wanted. Every time he tried to put his foot on the rink, the blade slipped and his leg went down, and the skate blade that he barely managed to stand on would often fall to the side.

After repeating that a couple of times, Koi completely lost his confidence.

How am I supposed to dance wearing these things?

Will I even be able to join the cheerleading team like this? What about my extracurricular activity points then? If I don’t get enough points, I won’t be able to get into college. No matter how much I don’t have money or whatever, being frustrated because I’m poor and struggling is on a different level than not being able to do it because I don’t have the ability. Am I going to be frustrated without even stepping through the gates of college like this?

Seeing himself unable to even stand properly on the ice and constantly falling, even with Ashley’s help, it all seemed like a distant dream. His expression gradually hardened as his vision became clouded. It was then.

“Koi, Koi, Koi.”

Ashley called his name in succession. As if telling him to come to his senses. Looking into Koi’s face, who had fallen into a panic in an instant, he said calmly.

“It’s okay, don’t worry. I’ll help you, you can do it.”

Ashley spoke softly to comfort him, but Koi soon made a crying face and shook his head.

“I can’t…”

He felt frustrated with his foolish self and tears came out on their own. Perhaps because he was in front of the kind Ashley, his emotions seemed to rise even faster. For no reason, he even thought of things from the past, and words full of injustice flowed from his mouth.

“I’m really bad at sports. Why do they have to put this in my grades and give me points? Just like there are people who are good at sports, there are people who are bad at it. I’m not good at making friends, and I’m even worse at moving my body. This is too cruel. Are you telling people like me not to go to college either? It’s really too much…”

He was upset, embarrassed, and frustrated, so he just burst into tears.

Is it not enough to just live hard? Even in a difficult family environment, I’m really doing my best in my own way, enduring to the point of death, but everyone says that’s not enough. They say I have to do what I can’t do until the end, but even if I try my best, there are things I can’t do. Look, I can’t even stand up on skates that everyone else can ride. What is this, it’s over. I’m completely ruined.

Everything was a mess. Ashley didn’t say anything while Koi was sobbing. He just silently waited for Koi’s crying to subside.

Only after some time had passed, when he was finally tired of crying and was just sniffling, did Ashley slowly open his mouth.

“Do you feel a little better?”

“…Yeah.”Koi nodded. Once the emotions that had suddenly surged up subsided, he gradually became more objective and felt a sense of guilt washing over him. Ashley had taken the time to see him despite being busy and tired, and he had acted out and cried. It was absurd. He couldn’t bring himself to look him in the face.

“I’m sorry, Ash…”

Ashley shook his head at the quiet apology.

“It’s okay, everyone gets frustrated sometimes.”

“Everyone?”

Koi looked up. Ashley chuckled at the sight of his red-tipped nose.

“Yeah, everyone.”

Koi knew very well that Ashley Miller wasn’t included in that “everyone,” but he didn’t bother to complain further. It wasn’t the time to be hysterical and cry anymore.

“I’m sorry, Ash. I’m okay now.”

Koi took a deep breath and said, “I’ll try again.”

“Good, but before that…”

Ashley put his hands under Koi’s armpits and lifted him straight up. Koi, suddenly standing upright, blinked in bewilderment. What just happened?

It didn’t end there. Ashley suddenly picked Koi up in his arms.

“W-What?”

“Just a moment. Don’t struggle, it’s dangerous.”

Koi, who had been flailing without realizing it, quickly shrank back at Ashley’s warning. Ashley skillfully glided across the ice, returning to the starting point.

“Here.”

Ashley sat Koi down on the bench and brought him a bottle of water. Koi thanked him again, took the water, and put it to his lips. His throat was parched from crying so much. After drinking his fill and putting the bottle down, Ashley said,

“Let’s start again when you’ve calmed down a bit.”

“…Yeah, thank you.”

“Yeah, I know you’re grateful enough, so you can stop saying that now. Got it?”

Ashley added the last words and looked at him. As if it was time to answer this time. Koi nodded hastily.

Different music was playing from Ashley’s phone than before. Ashley turned off the music and tossed the phone aside. The surroundings became quiet again. Koi struggled to calm his still-sobbing breaths and opened his mouth.

“How did you learn to skate? So young.”

“Just a silly reason,” Ashley said. “Father made me.”

“Ah…”

Koi tried to imagine his Father, an able but devilish lawyer from the East Coast, burning with educational zeal. Ashley added, as if to himself, “I started with figure skating at first.”

“What? Figure skating? You?”

It was an unexpected remark. Koi shouted in surprise, and Ashley laughed.

“Yeah. Why? Doesn’t it suit me?”

“Ah, no.”

Koi asked, bewildered, “Then why did you quit?”

“Well,” Ashley replied casually again, “My body kept getting bigger.”

It was a plausible reason. Feeling somewhat convinced, Koi changed the subject.

“When did you start playing ice hockey?”

“Fourth grade. A little late.”

“You already knew how to skate, so it was a little easier, right?”

Unexpectedly, Ashley shook his head at Koi’s question.

“No, the blades are different depending on the sport, so I had to learn again. So I had a bit of a hard time.”

“R-Really?”

As Koi looked down at the skates he was wearing in embarrassment, Ashley gave an answer before the question came.

“What you’re wearing is for figure skating. What I wear is this.”

Ashley held up his skate as if to show off. He hadn’t noticed it before, but the blade of the skate that came into view was clearly different. Seeing Koi looking at the blade with wonder, Ashley said, “Feeling a little better now?”

“Huh? Oh.”

Coming to his senses at those words, he realized that his sobs had stopped.

“I’m okay now.”

“Good, then stand up.”

Ashley smiled.

“You’ve cried your fill, so now you have to make up for it.”

Wow.

Koi felt the color drain from his face as he looked at him.

That’s why not just anyone can join a sports team.