By Zephyria 
“What are you saying…”
I was utterly dumbfounded. Being struck by a bolt of lightning from a clear sky wouldn’t have been as sudden or as surprising as this. However, Andrew, who was silently standing beside me, didn’t seem to know or care about my surprise, and simply continued to state his piece in a blunt manner.
“I said, I was wrong.”
“Brother.”
“Now that I’ve already conceded, what’s the point of hiding anything more? Yes, I found you, who remained in the position of my younger brother, maddeningly beautiful. I wanted to possess you so badly. I wanted to mar you in any way I could.”
I wanted to keep throwing stones at you until you fell into my arms. Even if it was from an unconscious, childish heart. He continued to speak at a slow pace, as if he were a lowly sinner making a confession. His voice was so small that it was barely audible, but the ember burning within those words was clear. The unquenchable flame wasn’t a fire that burned the soul, but it was as warm as a burning candle.
“I never imagined that the child who had truly disappeared, Allen… would reappear by borrowing a destiny called coincidence. That’s why I so easily compared you to a child who didn’t even exist. Because I knew early on that that was the simplest and most effective way to hurt you.”
“……”
“I shouldn’t have done that. If I had known that that child would really return. If I had known that the day would come when you would truly… have to place that child and yourself side by side for comparison.”
Was he someone who could say such things? With such an expression, with such a voice… Was he someone who could soothe a person’s heart like this?
The determination to become Allen’s most ardent supporter and critic without being noticed by anyone melted away like snow in the sun. I couldn’t even guess what kind of expression I was wearing right now. Did I want to cry? Or did I want to laugh? I didn’t know. Not one thing, I really couldn’t know anything.
“You don’t know how terribly your eyes scream every time you try to protect Allen.”
Andrew stopped walking, met my gaze, and whispered softly.
“Even if you’re smiling kindly as if you mean it, I can see it all. I can see how much you’re pushing yourself, how much you’re worrying about the reputation around you, you who feared Allen’s return more than anyone else.”
I wanted to say something, anything. But even if I moved my lips, not even a single word, not even calling him ‘brother,’ could pass beyond the tip of my tongue. All I could do was try to suppress the overwhelming, unidentifiable emotions that were welling up inside me.
Andrew was the one who had most enthusiastically tormented and criticized me, even among those who claimed to be Allen’s staunchest allies. I couldn’t even count the pieces of my heart that had been torn away like whips by his harsh words. And so, I had decided that from now on… I would return everything to him, just as I had been hurt by him… I would humiliate and trample on him, who had come to love me so much, who had actually been loving me… That was what I had resolved to do.
“If that is the way you have chosen to survive, I will not condemn you. Instead, be comfortable, at least in front of me. Even if you want to tear Allen apart and kill him alive… I will pretend not to hear it. I will not reveal your true feelings to anyone. Whatever you confide in me, I will simply be by your side.”
“Do you… know what you’re saying right now? Do you properly understand what you’re saying?”
“Yes.”
“Hahahaha. Now… you’re going to act as my emotional garbage can? Now?”
My tone became sharp out of habit. Tears that had been subsiding tend to become more abundant when someone tries to comfort you, don’t they? I deliberately tensed my jaw. Giving it as much strength as possible to keep it from trembling was the best I could do to appear nonchalant.
“Didn’t you ask me yourself?”
Andrew Hamilton supported me with an unwavering and silent demeanor. With prudent blue eyes that perfectly resembled Allen’s, and with a deep voice that held the atmosphere of an ancient tree.
“What… and how far I could go for you.”
“……”
“So, since I dared to blurt out that I love you, I have to struggle like this, even if it’s just this much. So that the day may come when you are moved by my utmost sincerity and are satisfied with being merely a Countess.”
He, who had been looking down at me, slowly reached out his hand. I couldn’t even think of avoiding it and waited for his touch. The long fingers that had been floating slowly in the air barely touched my cheek. The fingers, which had an ambiguous temperature that seemed both hot and cold, wiped away my already damp cheek and then retreated. I didn’t even know if tears had been flowing.
“It’s a simple story, Noah Hamilton.”
“……”
“I love you, and I sincerely hope that you will remain a member of the Hamilton family forever.”
“……”
“You become my wife, and Allen is married off elsewhere. If that happens, nothing will change. Only you and I will remain in the rose-filled mansion.”
Countless rebuttals came to mind. Is it all over if Allen just gets married off? Allen will continue to be the priority in my parents’ hearts, so how will that be resolved? Even if that were the case, someone like you, who has no power, can’t overcome the world’s coercion. What if the System gets bored again and forcibly turns back time? Then you wouldn’t be able to preserve any of these memories of loving me…
“How is it? Is this a fairly… satisfactory answer?”
“……”
“Noah.”
“You’re very good at talking.”
Just uttering a single word scraped my insides raw. The subdued voice tore through my lungs and throat as it was barely released into the air. On the other hand, I wanted to nod my head. I wanted to eagerly respond to the question of whether I was satisfied, pretending not to know anything, like that.
Perhaps it was because the crude blueprint that Andrew Hamilton had drawn was too close to reality to simply dismiss with such words, and also unbelievably tempting.
“You don’t know anything, but you’re really good at talking.”
I was indescribably disappointed in myself for being shaken by just this one blueprint, after all I had suffered. I mustn’t believe it. No matter how tempting the fruit may seem, I still can’t, I still can’t believe it.
“…It’s a pity. You can’t even be honest in front of me. Even though it’s obvious that you’re terribly shaken.”
“Shut up.”
“Anyway, I understand. I, too, will have to work quite hard from now on. As you said, to be on par with the position of Grand Duchess or Duchess Grachio, even if it’s not the position of Crown Princess.”
Andrew, who wiped my tear-stained cheeks with the back of his hand, offered me his arm with a relaxed smile on his face.
“Now, let’s head back to the lodgings. Rest first. It seems that my parents and I have to stay until the banquet is completely over.”
I silently nodded and placed my hand on the arm that was extended towards me as if to escort me. And then, I took one step, two steps…
“……”
“……”
Favorability: 99.3%
My face kept getting hot, and the side of my face, where I could feel his gaze, was itchy, which was a big problem.
I didn’t know what kind of change of heart it was, but Andrew didn’t seem to be hurt by my sharp, prickly words. I was the only one who was tense and on edge like a hedgehog.
Had there ever been such a peaceful atmosphere between Andrew and me? We had always ignored each other, ridiculed each other, or otherwise hated each other, but it was hard to adapt to the sudden change in atmosphere.
Andrew Hamilton, who was no different from the person who had brought about the change, was just smiling, as if he was so satisfied.
“We’re here now.”
“……”
“Go inside first.”
“……”
The temporary lodgings in the Imperial Palace, prepared for the nobles to stay in, were just clean enough, neither too extravagant nor too shabby. It seemed that we were the first to arrive at the lodgings, as the banquet was still in full swing.
But both Andrew, who told me to go in first, and I, who only nodded, were stuck to the floor as if we had nails hammered into it. The arm that was escorting me and the palm resting on it were also the same.
Damn it, why is this so ticklish and nerve-wracking? Andrew, Andrew is really not…!
“You left a long time ago, so where have you been?”
Before my thoughts about Andrew could even continue, a low voice filled with anger struck between him and me like a thunderbolt.
“Ah…”
I exclaimed and unknowingly let go of Andrew’s arm and stepped back. Andrew, who gritted his teeth so hard that they made a cracking sound, hurriedly lowered his eyes and slowly bowed his head.
“Andrew of Hamilton greets His Highness the Crown Prince.”
“Your Highness, what brings you here…”
“What brings me here? Of course, I came to see you.”
The Crown Prince strode straight towards me, as if he couldn’t even see Andrew, who was politely bowing his head, and wrapped his arm around my shoulder.
“By the way, without me knowing… it seems that you and the Little Count have become remarkably close? From afar, you looked like a pair of lovebirds who were so caught up in their puppy love that they couldn’t even see what was around them.”
“……”
“Of course, that’s just my imagination. Isn’t it?”