By Zephyria 
I can’t believe it. She was running towards us mindlessly like an angry bull, and she was even barefoot. I stopped thinking about this and that and immediately stood up to block Beatrice from the front. This was to protect her and at the same time, I couldn’t show the mistress of the family in this state to a member of another family. The guards who had been watching us from afar also rushed closer in the blink of an eye. They also couldn’t dare to touch the Countess’s body, but they somehow managed to prevent the Countess from getting closer to me and Beatrice.
“…I heard rumors that the Countess is very ill. I can’t stay long in a house where the mistress is sick.”
“Beatrice.”
I was embarrassed to ask her to leave first, but Beatrice quickly stepped back. Her expression was full of worry as she said goodbye, holding my hand tightly. Instead of saying that I was okay, I just shook the hand I was holding once.
Only after confirming that Beatrice had completely left the garden under the escort of the knights could I turn my attention back to the source of the problem. I heard Nicole’s voice trying to stop me, calling me Young Master…, but I didn’t care and broke through the wall of knights and servants. How many steps had I taken forward?
“Ugh, no… Heo-euk, euk… Nooo…”
“…”
In the center of the sparse concentric circle made up of people, the Countess, exhausted on her own, collapsed without being able to go any further. The clear green eyes, which were shining brilliantly in the dazzling sunlight and contained the light of the vibrant greenery, lost their focus and groped vaguely in the air. The dry, skinny arms that she was trying to reach out to somehow fell down limply as if she couldn’t muster any strength.
It had already been several months since the Countess’s condition, which had become so weakened, had deviated from the norm, but she had never looked this crazy before.
She always loved me, and then repeatedly betrayed me in the end. I thought it would be less hateful if she had never loved me at all, but watching her miserable end was not as pleasant or satisfying as I had expected. I know it’s a ridiculously good-natured child’s disease even when I think about it myself…, but in this case, I think it would be better if she had stood tall next to Allen until the end, looking down on me like in the previous Iterations. A subtle sadness simmered like an old grudge. I wanted to cry unconditionally along with the weeping of the disheveled madwoman.
“…”
I gritted my teeth and endured. This is why first love is so scary. That’s why…, that’s why I didn’t want to face her at all if possible.
‘Noah, my beloved baby.’
Even though I had given up on being loved, whenever I saw her, my heart weakened… Whenever I stood in front of her, I still felt like I was going back to being a runny-nosed child of about six years old, who was so busy eating up the affection I had received from my parents for the first time, not even knowing that I was getting cavities.
If you weren’t going to love me until the end, you shouldn’t have loved me from the beginning. From the beginning…, you shouldn’t have made me love you…
Playing the role of a neglected adopted child who has a crush on their parents was always, far more difficult and miserable than playing the role of a Dominant Omega who had been deprived of the position of Crown Princess. So, after Allen appeared and I gave up on being loved, I consciously stopped calling her mother. I desperately tried to suppress her position within me, calling her Countess, Countess. Otherwise, I felt like I would immediately ask her to love me again… Wasn’t I, not Allen, also your child?
The face that had lost weight in the time I hadn’t seen her was gaunt, like a skeleton. The dark shadows cast under her eye sockets and cheekbones were hopelessly gloomy. I didn’t even know what to do with her. I could only watch blankly. In the midst of all this, a relief pitcher finally appeared, cutting through the servants who looked more than a little troubled.
“Young master…”
It was Mrs. Seymour, who had been a close friend, like a sister, to the Countess long before she was my nanny and Nicole’s mother. Mrs. Seymour, who was panting as if she had run, glanced sadly at the Countess, who was still sitting down, and then came close to me, stroking my cold hands and cheeks.
“You must have been very surprised? I’m sorry, I should have watched her more closely… Oh my… Look how cold your hands are.”
“…What happened?”
My tongue felt heavy. When did the Countess’s condition get this bad? Is it just today, or is it always like this…? There were so many things I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t get the words out.
“Well… There’s nothing to worry about. I’m here, I’ll always be by Madam’s side, so everything will be alright.”
Instead of telling the truth, the nanny chose to reassure me. But her evasion conveyed a more certain fact to me than a direct answer. Perhaps… the Countess’s condition was very, very bad. Even more so than I had roughly grasped.
On the one hand, my heart ached terribly. Even after repeating countless Iterations, she had never lost her mind like this. Was it so painful that I, not Allen, had taken the position of Crown Princess, that her beloved youngest son had no chance of living a peaceful life as an Omega? To the point of completely losing her mind and becoming a madwoman. Even at the moment when I was sentenced to death, she had elegantly twisted her hair up and appeared, turning away quietly as if nothing had happened.
“No, baby… good boy, Noah… oh, my baby…”
Even though I knew painfully that the ‘my baby’ she was calling could no longer be me, my ears perked up habitually. My heart sank. That must be the sound of her calling Allen. Hah, a dry laugh burst out without my knowing. It was a blurry sound that I couldn’t even tell if it was a sigh or a laugh, but let’s just call it a laugh. Otherwise, I felt like I would become too pathetic right now.
“Did you call the doctor?”
“…Yes, of course. He’s been staying in Madam’s side room these days.”
“Okay. Good job. Then I’ll trust you, Nanny.”
It was when I, unable to bear it any longer, entrusted the situation to the nanny and turned back around.
“Noah! No, you can’t go anywhere, you can’t go anywhere!”
Where did that strength come from? The Countess, who had just been listlessly flailing her limbs, crawled on her knees and clung to my knees like a suction cup. Her touch, which was so desperate that she even dug her nails in and scratched, seemed quite desperate, but the problem was that half of the knights who were here to protect me were already sent by the Crown Prince himself, not the Hamilton Family knights.
The Crown Prince’s knights, who had been watching the situation without trying to deal with the Countess’s unknown madness, quickly tore her off my shoulder as soon as her hand touched my body. Madam! The family’s servants gasped, but the Crown Prince’s people were unmoved.
“Your Highness. Are you hurt anywhere?”
The knight, who was strongly restraining the Countess’s shoulder, asked me with a calm look. I was, of course, fine. What wasn’t fine in this situation was the Countess, who was still screaming and shaking her head while her limbs were being held by the knights.
The Countess kept calling my name, Noah, Noah, and screaming. I told them I was fine and to let my mother go, but the knight only expressed his apologies, saying that he couldn’t listen to my orders because the Countess’s condition was not normal.
“Young master, it would be better for you to go inside. It seems that it would be helpful for Madam to calm down if you’re not in her sight…”
“…Yes, it would be better to do that.”
All the while I was slowly turning around and leaving the garden, following Nicole’s advice. The Countess’s chilling screams didn’t stop.
“Hmm, you’re here? Thanks to you, I had an interesting sight.”
In the room I returned to, trying to calm my bewildered heart, there was already a guest. …Carlisle is, I hope he’s hiding well? I unconsciously scanned under the bed where he often hid, but the impudent uninvited guest let out an exclamation as if he was dumbfounded.
“That bad habit of looking for another guy when I’m right in front of you, are you doing it on purpose? Huh? To make me angry?”
“…I don’t have the energy to deal with you today, so please just leave.”
“I can’t do that. I have to punish the bad child who made the advice I gave you with good intentions useless.”
The uninvited guest, with a face that was surprisingly shameless and brazen, straightened his body, which had been leaning casually against the window, and walked towards me with steady steps. With a confident gait that showed no hesitation.
“Ah, I don’t even have to punish you. You’ll be kneeling in front of me and begging anyway.”
“Don’t say nonsense and please just get out.”
“Haha. Your mother is so broken, Noah. How are you going to fix that shattered human mind without my help?”
“She was never my mother. She’s just your mother… no, the mother of the body you’re occupying.”
No matter how much my heart wavered, that was it. Kneeling and begging Allen because of her? Would that ever happen, even if I died a hundred times?
“Oh, my. Didn’t you roughly realize it? How long are you going to pretend you don’t know?”
His hateful lips smirked. I was seized by an ominous premonition. It felt like I was suffocating.
“This is… originally your body, wasn’t it, dear Noah?”
“……!”
“In front of that fountain, while your mother was watching… until you stabbed yourself in the chest and were on the verge of death.”