By Zephyria 
“What can I do? What should I start with?”
It wasn’t even before the servant who had brought tea and snacks had closed the door and left. Carlisle, with his eyes shining even brighter than before, asked abruptly. I had said there was something to discuss, not that I had come to ask for something… He was willing to do anything, asking what he should start with. I couldn’t help but worry that he might get scammed somewhere else.
“What is it? Is it okay for the future Grand Duke to act so undignified?”
“Since I’m asking you to become the future Grand Duchess, I suppose so?”
“……”
“Noah.”
I wish this world I was reborn into wasn’t such a childish reverse harem dating simulation game. If it was just a normal world where I could live one life faithfully and close my eyes without any regrets… I probably would have nodded willingly to this bright person. I would have willingly promised a happy future.
“I’m sorry, was it too much?”
Seeing me unable to easily brush off even a light joke and taking it to heart, Carlisle quickly lowered his tail. I was the one who should be sorry, but he was apologizing instead.
I really couldn’t help it. He was already designated as one of the Love interests in this game, so I couldn’t see any way not to use him… It was a late regret, but when I faced Carlisle, who trusted me and showed a naive expression, I just felt sorry. I felt like I would be crushed by the vague fear and guilt that I would never be able to meet this person’s expectations.
“I should be the one saying I’m sorry…”
“Wait a minute, Noah,” Carlisle hurriedly waved his hands and interrupted me. He had said he wasn’t afraid of what I was going to say, but it didn’t seem like that was the case. That cute bluff didn’t feel hateful at all.
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t want to hear that kind of talk.”
“Carlisle.”
“I’ll gladly listen to anything you say, but I still don’t want to hear you say you’re sorry. Is it because I was foolishly deceived for so long? I’m really sorry. For not waking up sooner, for not preparing for such tricks in advance, and for making you lonely.”
He seemed to have expected that I had come to say that I was sorry and that I was going to break up, that I was going to choose the position of Crown Princess instead of Grand Duchess. His voice, uncharacteristically rambling, was anxious and helpless. I grabbed Carlisle’s two hands, which couldn’t even dare to hold mine and were aimlessly wandering in the air, and pulled them closer to me. Despite his large size, Carlisle was pulled along as I pulled, as if he was collapsing.
“Calm down and listen to me first. It’s not the kind of story you’re thinking of, whatever you’re thinking right now.”
That’s right. I didn’t have any plans to choose one of the Crown Prince and the Little Duke and neatly organize the other. If I had, I would have been less sorry.
Because I was planning to take control of and wield both of them, as well as Lennox and Kyle, and even Andrew, who wasn’t a Love interest in the original story. At least until I had complete freedom in my hands.
“…Okay.”
Carlisle nodded with a cautious expression. His large hands, held in mine, were trembling weakly.
“You’ve probably already noticed, but. Allen is not an ordinary human.I had been thinking a lot about where to start if I were to unfold the story to the extent that he could accept it, even though the timing was unintentionally brought forward. I decided to use Allen as the starting point of the long story. Even for Carlisle, he would never be able to accept stories about past lives or that this world was in a game. If it wasn’t something I had experienced myself, I would have dismissed it as a ridiculous delusion or daydream.
“He has a very powerful force of unknown origin. He seems to be able to manipulate people’s minds as he pleases, just like he did with you. And… you weren’t the first.”
“Yes?”
“First it was Andrew. He manipulated Andrew perfectly and approached me closely even before it was revealed that he was the biological son of the Hamilton family. After he secured the position of my exclusive servant, he secretly charmed Sir Kyle, who was guarding me. And then it was you.”
And who knows, after you break free from the brainwashing, who else he’ll try to manipulate… As Carlisle listened to my quietly whispered voice, his expression became serious as well.
“Why on earth, why would he do such a thing…”
“I want to know too. But one thing is certain. This is… a fight where one of us has to completely win and break the other, whether he wins or I win.”
Has there ever been a human who fought against God and won in the end? At best, my struggles would be nothing more than Prometheus having his liver pecked out or Icarus falling into the sea. I hadn’t been able to tell Carlisle everything, but when I learned about the identity of Allen, the System, I just humbly accepted it. There was a high probability that I would lose. It was a fight that I was bound to lose, and a bet that was impossible to challenge.
But. Despite knowing all that.
“I don’t want to lose.”
I didn’t want to become a nihilist who just waited humbly for the predetermined ending. If God’s will was to kill me and bury me in the cold ground, I would desperately reach out and crawl out until the moment I completely stopped breathing. If there was nothing to grab onto, I would scratch the dirt floor with my fingernails, even if those fingernails were turned over and pulled out. Like that. Until the end.
“I’m going to take all the destiny that’s destined for him. The position of Crown Princess is one of them.”
“……”
I couldn’t dare to lift my gaze out of fear. Carlisle didn’t react at all, and I was inwardly guessing that I had hurt him, but I was very afraid to confirm that fact. It was partly because I was cowardly and fearful, but more than anything, it was because Carlisle was such an important person to me.
I still kept my gaze down and opened my mouth self-deprecatingly.
“Perhaps, Carlisle. Maybe the one you were meant to love from the start wasn’t me, but Allen.”
I stole you away. From the destiny of loving Allen…
My whisper was as careful as confessing an early confession. It was then. Carlisle shook off the hand I was holding, then cupped my face with both hands. As if handling some precious treasure, very, very carefully. I mustered courage at that. Barely lifting my gaze, I met his eyes.
An unreadable light flickered in Carlisle’s gray eyes. And then, his gentle eyes soon smiled.
“If that’s true… this is a big problem. It’s like becoming a princess who fell in love with a villain.”
“…Carlisle.”
I thought I was being serious, but the person listening was so cheerful that it was subtly anticlimactic. All the sensitive tension from before had disappeared from Carlisle’s face.
“Anyway, the conclusion is, you love Adrian Pearson so desperately that you can’t possibly stay by my side… it’s not such a ridiculous conclusion, is it?”
“Yes. But… I told you. I can’t be the Grand Duchess you want, the one who loves only you with unwavering devotion.”
“Good heavens, Noah.”
He chuckled as if sighing. The sparkle in his witty eyes was fully restored.
“When did I ever say I wanted a Grand Duchess who loves only me with unwavering devotion? What I really want is just you. Noah Hamilton.”
“……”
“Of course, it would be great if you could also be the Grand Duchess while you’re at it, but even if not. In your heart… I just hope there’s even a small place for me. If so, I’m confident I can eventually take up all of your heart.”
His gentle voice smelled like a soft blanket dried well under the sun. It felt like the resolve firmly set in my heart was melting away. What on earth is this person… How can he always say the words I want to hear most, only the words I need most?
“If you need the position of Crown Princess or Empress, go for a while. I’ll keep the Grand Duchess position open for you.”
“Funny, ‘for a while’… How long do you think it’ll be?”
“Wouldn’t a few years be a short time compared to a lifetime? Still, I’ll try to get rid of Allen and everything else before you turn fifty.”
He gave me a wonderful smile, saying he would love Noah Hamilton in her middle or old age, even with white hair, without change. This unwavering and solid affection, without a hint of crookedness, was what I had always longed for and wished to have.
“…Okay.”
Carlisle had already poured out everything I wanted, without holding back. So I had to return it. Even if it wasn’t as warm and sufficient as what he had given me, I had to return at least a decent affection that wouldn’t make me ashamed of him.
“I will. If you wait for me… later… when it’s all really over, I’ll go to you…”
“Alright then. Future Grand Duchess. You have no more objections to this title now, do you?”
“……Yes.”
The future, stretched out without a promise, was excessively dazzling. It was as if one more reason to somehow win and endure had been added.