By Zephyria 
“Is that really true?”
“Would I lie to you, of all people?”
When I nodded exaggeratedly, the person sitting across from me burst into a clear laugh as if they had been waiting for it. Frederick was somehow lost in a strange emotion when he heard that laughter. Was it because his younger brother, who had grown so much that he was unrecognizable on the outside, seemed to have the same transparent laughter as when he was a child?
Frederick Hamilton’s younger brother, whom he had believed to be his most precious treasure his entire life, was now laughing heartily in front of him, with an expression that seemed to have no worries at all. His shoulders shook and his eyes curved deeply. He unconsciously smiled along with a dumb expression as he faced that expression, and suddenly felt a sense of novelty.
“Huh? What’s wrong all of a sudden, Frederick?”
“Oh, uh, no, it’s nothing. So, where were we? Oh, and once before…”
The feeling of novelty was excessively novel. When was the last time his younger brother laughed so clearly in front of him? It felt so distant. So distant that he was afraid to look back on the past.
He was completely immersed in his younger brother’s laughter, which he hadn’t heard in a long time, and exaggerated the story he was rattling on about. In the process of speaking, the fact that the story he had already written in a letter before didn’t make sense, or that it didn’t make sense from a common sense perspective, wasn’t a very important issue for Frederick. He was a fairly affectionate older brother who wouldn’t hesitate to act like a clown for his younger brother.
Frederick was afraid. Afraid that the relationship with his younger brother, which had become distant and awkward for no particular reason, as if it were a predetermined fate, would remain in that state forever.
Adundance was always his share, but intelligence was his younger brother’s share. His intelligent younger brother, who liked to read books by his favorite author under the lazy sunlight, was fortunately not as arrogant or dogmatic as Andrew Hamilton, the eldest of the brothers. Now that he was recognized as a fairly skilled knight, the views and evaluations of those around him had changed positively, but in fact, as a boy, he was an impish troublemaker who swallowed scolding like a staple food, saying that he couldn’t even keep up with his brother’s footsteps, but his voice was loud.
Frederick’s brain couldn’t be objectively considered stupid, but because his brother right above him was Andrew Hamilton, he was relatively always evaluated as dull and foolish. Thinking about it as an adult, he wondered if the adults in the family had the intention of stepping on the sprouts in advance so that he would never covet his brother’s things, such as the glorious position of successor.
A mere ten or fifteen years would not be an absolutely long time in a person’s life. However, if that time was ten or fifteen years from the time they were born and cried for the first time, it would not be an exaggeration to say that the things they experienced during that period would have a significant impact on their entire life.
For Frederick, life before he was knighted at eighteen was all a gutter. The only thing that shone brightly in his boyhood was his younger brother.
His father didn’t look at his second son, who didn’t resemble him at all and wasn’t very outstanding, with particularly affectionate eyes, and his mother only paid attention to her reliable eldest son and her lovely youngest son rather than him, who was stuck in the middle.
Occasionally, when he tried to get attention by playing pranks, they would click their tongues with a pathetic look, saying, “That’s just like you, Frederick.”
‘I’m really pathetic. I always disappoint them…’
Frederick, who was in the midst of puberty in his mid-teens, often became sullen for no reason. Whenever that happened, his younger brother, who was just over ten years old, would snort as if he was talking nonsense, saying, “What nonsense are you talking about? What child doesn’t disappoint their parents?” Frederick knew that his younger brother was more desperate than anyone else to read his parents’ faces, but fortunately, he didn’t make the mistake of saying it out loud.
‘You’re a really good guy, Freddy. Have confidence.’
‘Someone like me? Someone like me is stupid compared to Andrew… and I don’t have any patience…’
‘Ugh. Let’s not talk about him. What’s the point of being smart? His personality is rotten, our Little Count. Just you wait. You’re going to be a really cool knight in the future. I guarantee it.’
‘Me?’
‘Of course. You’ll be so cool and strong that you can’t even compare to someone like Andrew?’
His younger brother was kind. Frederick’s foolishness was so excessive that he committed some kind of sin… and as if he was someone who had come to see the future, afraid to reveal the sin and cowardly protecting himself, he affirmed Frederick Hamilton’s shining future, which even he himself couldn’t believe in, every time.
‘I’m not the one who’s worried about the future right now… Who’s comforting who?’
‘Noah?’
‘No, never mind. Anyway, don’t just get discouraged by useless problems! Got it?’
‘…But, but I…’
His younger brother’s comfort, packaged in a rough tone, was a sweet chocolate that soothed the soul. The young Frederick, blinded by the sweetness, almost confessed his mistake, which he had vowed to hide until the day he died, several times.
‘Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something on my face?’
‘No. It’s just… because you’re pretty, my brother.’
‘Funny. Is it only today or yesterday that I’m pretty?’
‘That’s right.’
His mistake, which was always on the tip of his tongue, was fortunately pushed back into his esophagus every time. Because the face of his one and only younger brother, who carefully wrapped his heart… was surprisingly similar to his long-standing sin.
‘My brother was always pretty.’
His young brother was pretty. Just like his grown-up brother in front of him was beautiful. He piled up an affection that was even bigger and more layered than the weight of his sin and sent it down without a gap. Believing that it was the best way to at least lighten the dark energy, even if it couldn’t wash away all the sins he had committed.
“Young Master. It’s cold.”
Nicole was cooling the warm cocoa that she had brought. At the same time as Kyle’s calm voice was heard, a comfortable weight was felt on my shoulders. The cloak with thick, soft fur was something you would wear in the middle of winter.
“It’s okay. It’s not that cold. It’s too much.”
“It’s not too much. Your lips are turning blue.”
Kyle didn’t seem to be willing to back down easily. He came back in front of me and fastened the strings around my neck and the buttons below one by one. Allen, who was sitting next to me and acting like he was monitoring me drinking cocoa, was on Kyle’s side this time. He even nodded his head and agreed that he was right.
“You should talk moderately. How can you talk so long? Anyway, I’ve known that person has no tact since before.”
“Nicole.”
It would be okay if it was just our family members, but there were quite a few of Carlisle’s attendants mixed in with the group. I habitually stopped Nicole, who was trying to criticize Frederick.
“No, I mean… if you were going to hold our Young Master for so long, you should have gone into the carriage or something… Do people think everyone is as ignorantly healthy as they are…”
Nicole seemed to have understood my intention and lowered her voice as much as possible, whispering in a small voice that seemed to reach only my ears. Frederick was in a good mood because I didn’t avoid him for once and listened to what he had to say and showed a proper reaction, so he was soon beaming and chattering about this and that in front of me for two hours. The cold air in the deep mountains, where the snow hadn’t melted yet, froze my cheeks and the back of my hands like ice. I had a feeling that if I didn’t get enough rest and just went to sleep, I would get a cold with a 100% probability, but…
“But sometimes this is good too. We’re going to camp here today anyway, so it’s like getting used to it in advance.”
“Hmph… I don’t know, just try saying you’re sick when you wake up tomorrow morning. I’ll make sure you never talk to Frederick again.”
Unlike my tired body, my heart was light. Was it because I had put a clean end to the uneasy feeling I always had when I faced Frederick?
I always felt complicated when I thought of Frederick.
I like Frederick. He was my close brother, and the person with whom I shared my childhood more closely than anyone else. The option of completely giving up on him was… at least for me, one of the most difficult problems to choose. As if it wasn’t enough to be betrayed so many times, this Iteration was the same.
So, I must have been angry and resentful when I saw him getting closer to Allen. Because there is disappointment only when there is expectation.
But it’s different now. There’s no more childish spite. He’s not my brother or anything, just one of the many loot that can be captured and must be taken from Allen.
I was sipping cocoa and having a trivial chat with Nicole when a lower-ranking knight, looking pale and ghastly, came rushing toward Kyle and shouted like a scream without even saluting.
“C, Commander! Something terrible has happened! Allen cannot be found anywhere!”