By Zephyria Yu-jin sat blankly on the sofa, leaning his head against the backrest. He had returned to the familiar place called Delights, but it felt as foreign as if he were visiting it for the first time. The time that had passed since he had run away from this place felt like a dream.
It wasn’t as if nothing had happened between reuniting with Winston and returning to Delights. He had been forced to follow Winston out of the building, and the moment he saw the waiting car, his face turned ashen and he froze.
“N-No… I won’t ride it, I won’t get in!”
“Daddy, Daddy!”
Angela, who was in Winston’s arms, also turned pale and screamed at the sight of him screaming and struggling, having lost his reason. Winston handed Angela over to a bodyguard and quickly embraced Yu-jin.
“It’s okay, I understand. I understand, calm down.”
Repeating those words, he immediately said to the bodyguard, “Find out if there’s a place nearby where a helicopter can land.”
His order was carried out immediately. Fortunately, they were able to use the helicopter landing pad on the roof of the building to return to Delights by helicopter. And during those events, Yu-jin had become completely exhausted.
He heard the sound of the door opening, but Yu-jin remained lying down, not moving. As expected, the person who entered was Winston. He didn’t even feel like pretending to be asleep, so he just remained silent, and Winston, who had walked across the room, looked down at him. After confirming that Yu-jin was awake, he opened his mouth.
“Angie is asleep. She was happy when she saw the teddy bear.”
Yu-jin didn’t answer. He just vaguely wondered in his head what the teddy bear was.
“The teddy bear you left at Grant’s villa.”
Was it just his imagination that there seemed to be a strange emotion in the name ‘Grant’? Suddenly thinking this, Yu-jin subtly moved his gaze towards Winston. As their eyes met, a suddenly awkward atmosphere filled the air.
“…I thought you might kill me.”
As if possessed, Yu-jin opened his mouth. Winston twisted the corner of his lips and smiled weakly.
“I wanted to.”
There seemed to be many meanings hidden in those words. Clearly, until the moment he found Yu-jin, he had been filled with anger. How many times had he repeated ominous and cruel fantasies? He had certainly believed that it would become reality.
When he realized that Yu-jin was actually in front of him, all the anger disappeared at once. Only relief, joy, and pity spread through his heart. He thought it was enough just that Yu-jin was safe and well. He didn’t want anything more. Yu-jin had no idea how much Winston was relieved by the sight of him staying so peacefully in his room even now.
He didn’t know what kind of reaction Winston would show this time, so he remained silent. His face, which was silently looking down at him, was far from angry, but he couldn’t even dare to guess what it meant. Just as he was vaguely renewing his resolve and biting his lip, Winston finally opened his mouth.
“…The car.”
Yu-jin didn’t immediately understand the unexpected beginning. As he only blinked, Winston slowly continued.
“Why did you become unable to ride in cars? Did you have some kind of accident?”
Yu-jin stared at him without saying anything for a while. There was no emotion on Winston’s face. He wasn’t sneering that he was putting on another ridiculous show, nor was he angry that he was bothering him.
“Why are you curious about that?”
Yu-jin asked. Even to himself, it was an extremely dry tone. Winston paused before answering.
“Just.”
He added, leaving an awkward silence between them.
“I want to know.”
It was only that, but for some reason, Yu-jin felt the most honest and pure feeling from him for the first time since they had met again. There was none of the hatred, contempt, or any other negative emotion he had felt until now. Winston just wanted to know.
Why?
“What are you going to slander me with this time?”
Yu-jin asked with a smirk, but Winston didn’t answer. He just kept looking down at Yu-jin.
For some reason, he looked very tired. There were faint wrinkles around his mouth, his cheeks were sunken, and he was much thinner than before. Yu-jin suddenly lost all his fighting spirit. Wouldn’t it be meaningless to raise his thorns against a man in this state?
“…I had an accident.”
Feeling somehow resigned, Yu-jin opened his mouth. Still feeling his gaze looking down at him, he continued slowly in a monotonous tone.
“After I was kicked out of the Campbell family… I had nothing. I wandered the streets, rummaging through trash cans. Then I met Sam… and barely managed to get a job, and one day, a person I worked with offered to take me home.”
Yu-jin continued, pausing intermittently as if recalling his memories.
“He was a kind person. He was very worried when I told him that I was about to have a child soon, but I didn’t have any money or a place to go… I was very vulnerable at that time, so tears came out while I was listening to him. So I cried a lot…”
As he recalled the memories of that day, a chill ran down his spine and he gasped for breath. Yu-jin squeezed his eyes shut.
“That person was comforting me, and then he made a mistake.”
The light of the headlights that had been shining brightly in front of him was still vividly etched in his memory. Yu-jin wrapped his trembling body in his arms and curled up as much as possible, continuing.
“He didn’t see the car coming from the opposite direction. I found out later that he was driving under the influence and had crossed the line. He tried his best to avoid the accident, but… he had no choice but to collide, and he and I were seriously injured.”
The terror of that moment was revived, and tears seemed to well up. Yu-jin barely swallowed his sobs and gasped for breath. Winston reached out his hand to him, but that was all. He hesitated, not knowing what to do with his hand that had stopped in mid-air, and Yu-jin, who had barely suppressed his emotions, opened his mouth.
“I didn’t regain consciousness until two weeks later, and I think I was hospitalized for almost half a year after that. Angie was a little early, but I had to give birth in advance. She was born by cesarean section and was in the incubator for a long time. At that time, I wasn’t in a position to take care of the child, so…”
Yu-jin blamed himself every time, saying that it was all his fault that Angela’s body was weak and smaller than her peers. He hadn’t eaten properly when he was pregnant, and he hadn’t even been able to carry her to full term. If she had been born to someone other than Yu-jin, she would have been able to grow up much happier and healthier.
Thinking of Angela, his throat became choked and he couldn’t speak any more. Winston silently watched him suppress his sobs.
Suddenly, he felt movement. Yu-jin could tell from the sound that Winston was turning away. He thought he was leaving, but after a while, he came back.
“Drink.”
Winston said in a quiet voice, handing him a glass of water. Yu-jin blankly stared at the cup he was holding before moving his hand. As the cold water passed through his esophagus, his emotions gradually subsided. After emptying the cup, Yu-jin sighed and put the cup down on the table. It was when Winston saw the empty cup and was about to open his mouth that Yu-jin spoke first, still averting his gaze from his face.
“There is no child, I wasn’t pregnant.”
Winston stopped moving at the sudden words. Yu-jin then turned his gaze to Winston and asked.
“Don’t tell me you’re surprised? Didn’t you know?”
If he said no, he was going to tell him not to lie. But Winston didn’t bother with such an unnecessary act.
“Yes, I knew.”
Seeing his calm face, he felt a sense of rebellion for some reason. Yu-jin frowned deeply and added.
“Really? Then did you know this too? That I’m infertile.”
Yu-jin continued to speak.
“Because of that accident, I can’t have children anymore. I can’t get pregnant. You won’t even get a miscarriage, serves you right.”
He had been waiting for this moment all along. How exhilarating would it be? No, he had to be filled with joy and happiness. He had told so many lies and endured so much just to see this man frustrated and disappointed in front of his eyes, hadn’t he? Just for this moment.
But the expression on Winston’s face as he looked at Yu-jin didn’t change at all. Yu-jin blinked, bewildered. Slowly, his lips parted, and a low voice flowed out.
“I knew.”
Yu-jin didn’t react immediately to the quiet voice. Winston continued to speak to him, who was just staring blankly.
“The doctor told me at the hospital when Charlotte almost killed you. That you weren’t pregnant and couldn’t get pregnant.”
What was this again? Yu-jin was completely stunned by the words he had never imagined. He knew everything and still did that? He bought baby clothes, held me, and played along with my act like that?
“Then, you knew from then…”
“From the beginning.”
Winston corrected Yu-jin’s words.
“I knew from the beginning that you weren’t pregnant.”
Winston smiled bitterly at Yu-jin, who had lost his mind again.
“I told you, I don’t trust anyone.”
“Th-Then why… knowing that, why?”
Yu-jin couldn’t form a sentence and kept stammering. He was so surprised and embarrassed that he couldn’t speak properly. Winston, who had been staring at him blankly, answered.
“Just.”
“Just?”
It was a series of absurd words. Winston paused before opening his mouth at the words he had uttered like a sigh.
“I.”
His voice cracked, and he stopped speaking. After clearing his throat slightly and taking a breath, Winston continued.
“I was happy just thinking that you were carrying my child.”
Yu-jin’s eyes widened as much as they could. Winston smiled bitterly and muttered as if to himself.
“I wonder if I expected that if I pretended like that, it would actually happen.”
What? A child between you and me?
As if answering the question that couldn’t be voiced, Winston ran a hand over his face. And a faintly trembling voice flowed out.
“I don’t need a miscarriage or anything.”
Winston let out a short breath. Yu-jin unconsciously tensed up and waited for the next words. After a moment of silence, an unbelievable confession finally flowed from him.
“I just wanted you.”
A suffocating silence flowed. Yu-jin’s mind was completely blank. Was he serious? Was it possible to say words of love with such a painful face? Was it that hard for that man to admit that he loved me?
“Don’t lie.”
Yu-jin spat out between rough breaths. Winston, who had paused, took his hand off his face and looked down at him, and Yu-jin continued to ramble without stopping.
“You don’t even try to listen to me, so how can you say you love me? If you loved me, you should have trusted me no matter what, but you didn’t try to listen to me at all back then. Even when we met again, you just kept blaming me. How many times, how many times did I try to tell you…”
‘You slept with my father!’
Winston’s face, screaming at him with hatred, was vividly revived. Yu-jin spat out in a tearful voice.
“You still don’t trust me!”
Haa, haa, his breathing naturally became rough with intense emotion. Winston didn’t answer immediately to the words he had poured out without hesitation. He just kept looking down at Yu-jin’s face. As he glared at him, panting roughly, the man, who had been silent for a while, sighed briefly. Yu-jin watched him move and sit on the single sofa in the upper seat. Winston, who had habitually groped his chest, soon lowered his hand powerlessly and rested his arm on the armrest. Only after dragging out time with a series of meaningless actions did he finally open his mouth.
“Tell me, what happened to you that day.”
A faint hatred dwelled in his voice, which had been listlessly sinking until now.
“I’m curious to know why you had no choice but to sleep with my father in front of my eyes.”
Facing the deep purple eyes directed at him, Yu-jin unconsciously swallowed hard. It seemed as if lightning flashed brightly outside the window, followed by a tremendous thunder. As if it were an ominous sign.