By Zephyria “I can’t just keep standing.”
Yu-jin was even more dumbfounded by the answer that came back as if it were obvious.
“A… Aren’t you leaving?”
When he finally blurted out what was on his mind, Winston said nonchalantly.
“I have the freedom to be in the place I want to be.”
Of course, he does. But what about my freedom to be alone?
He had so much to say that he was speechless. Yu-jin opened his mouth, unable to make a sound, and closed it again. The negative feeling that he couldn’t beat this man no matter what he said crushed all his motivation.
“…Do whatever you want, then.”
He muttered in a weak voice and turned over and lay down as a final expression of his will. The throbbing pain with every movement felt like it was cutting his body in half, but he bit his lip and endured it. He thought it was better to endure the pain than to be defenselessly thrown in front of that gaze.
After that, silence continued. How much time had passed in the silence where not even a breath could be heard, when a nurse came in and gave him an injection, and as he fell asleep, Yu-jin finally relaxed his body and closed his eyes in relief.
* * *
Thanks to the medicine, his head was only hazy when he opened his eyes. But his sense of touch was also dulled, so the pain felt weaker than the day before. He couldn’t stop the groans from flowing to his lips even with the slightest movement.
“Ugh…….”
Yu-jin, who had frowned and made a small noise, turned his body without thinking and was startled and opened his eyes wide. Dark purple eyes were looking at him. Yu-jin was flustered by the gaze that was watching him without moving, like a statue, and stopped moving.
Belatedly, the last memory of the previous day was revived. He had escaped into sleep so he didn’t know, but could it be that he had been like that all night? Sitting in that spot the whole time?
Why?
Questions filled his head. Ha, Winston suddenly sighed. And Yu-jin saw it. The tightly hardened shoulders momentarily lowered slightly. As much as that, his lips had relaxed and his expression had crumbled. It was a sight that anyone could see was relief spreading throughout his body.Yu-jin could only stare, bewildered. It felt like the first time he was seeing Winston’s bare face since their reunion. If his emotions were laid so bare, he couldn’t pretend not to notice. It was as if he had been guarding this place, unable to sleep a wink, constantly worried about Yu-jin.
It must be something else.
He ignored the obvious truth before his eyes. Winston staying up all night, sleepless with worry for Yu-jin—the old him might have been moved to tears. But that was, quite literally, ‘the old him.’ Winston, too, was not the man he used to be. Therefore, the reality before him must mean something entirely different. When circumstances change, so do the results.
Only a few seconds passed in silence. Stillness hung between them, but it was completely different from the day before. Amidst the tangled mess of confusion, relief, and other emotions, Yu-jin spoke first.
“…Why are you like that?”
His voice was so hoarse it was embarrassing even to himself. He felt a sudden wave of weakness and it made him feel awful. He absolutely didn’t want to appear weak in front of this man.
In contrast to Yu-jin’s dismayed expression, the man instantly put his mask back on. As Yu-jin watched, he moved for the first time. As if stretching out a body that had been stiff all night, Winston shifted his legs, crossing them with a movement that was much slower than usual, and spoke.
“How’s your body?”
It was a simple question, but in this situation, it was also a special one. Yu-jin paused before answering honestly.
“It still hurts. But it’s better than yesterday.”
He deliberately didn’t say thank you. He felt no gratitude towards him. Those who have much can afford to be honest, and those who have little can afford to be open.
Of course, the opposite could also be true.
Suppressing the bitter counterargument that rose in his mind, Yu-jin continued.
“What were you doing? Don’t tell me you spent the whole night here like that?”
If that were the case, it would be an enormous burden. Someone watching his sleeping face all night, and that someone being Winston of all people. It felt like a wound that was healing might reopen. The answer was practically visible, but Yu-jin had to ask. To tell him to leave now if that was the case. He watched with nervous anticipation as Winston slowly replied.
“I hardly sleep anyway.”
Caught off guard by the unexpected answer, Yu-jin momentarily lost his words. He blinked, his mouth agape, as Winston continued casually.
“You know that, don’t you? That I don’t sleep.”
“Ah, I know, but…”
Stammering involuntarily, Yu-jin shut his mouth again. Countless thoughts flooded his mind all at once, making it impossible to sort them out. In truth, what he said wasn’t wrong. During the time they shared a bedroom, Yu-jin had learned that Winston practically never slept. He would wake up at the slightest rustle from Yu-jin, and he would go to work long after Yu-jin had fallen asleep and before he had woken up. It seemed like he got less than three hours of sleep a day, and even that was fragmented. Can extreme alphas really go without sleep like this?
“Even if you don’t sleep, you should at least lie down and rest…”
He belatedly realized that he had unintentionally uttered words tinged with pity.
“It’s not like my condition will change just because you keep watching me… It’s a waste of time.”
Yu-jin tried desperately to brush it off. He deliberately used a harsh tone to scold him, but a corner of his heart felt heavy. Was he doing this on purpose to make him feel guilty? Either way, knowing that he was worrying about him like this wouldn’t make him feel comfortable. The thought that had inadvertently crossed his mind was quickly dismissed by Yu-jin.
Surely, this man isn’t worried about me? That’s impossible. It must be something else.
Maybe he was watching to make sure he didn’t run away again. That was probably it. That was a much more believable reason.
“There’s no need to go this far. It’s not like I’m some kind of important person who would escape from the hospital with these injuries, am I? I’m not the CIA.”
He tried to be as sarcastic as possible, but Winston’s face still showed no particular emotion.
“Yes, you don’t have the skills of a government agent. If you did, you wouldn’t have ended up like this.”
He agreed in his usual slow tone, adding nonchalantly. ‘Just as I thought,’ Yu-jin mused. He was furious at the fact that he had momentarily felt sympathy for this man.
“Staying up all night on a cot just to criticize me, that’s an incredible effort.”
Yu-jin wanted to applaud, but he didn’t have the energy. Realizing that even fighting required an enormous amount of stamina, he gave up.
“Okay, that’s enough. Just go. I can be alone.”
Before Winston could say anything, Yu-jin quickly added.
“I can’t rest because you’re making me uncomfortable. Don’t you have to go to work? Please leave.”
He said what he wanted to say and closed his eyes. He had simply chosen to ignore reality, but a few seconds later, he heard the sound of a chair being dragged.
…Huh?
Yu-jin couldn’t help but react to the sound. Was he actually listening to him? Reluctantly, he opened his eyes again, only to see Winston looking down at him from a height that was incomparable to when he was sitting. He felt an overwhelming sense of intimidation for a moment, and then he spoke.
“I’ll go change and come back, so rest.”
“What…”
Yu-jin stammered in confusion.
“Y-you don’t have to come back.”
He shouted desperately at Winston’s retreating back, but he left without a word. Yu-jin was left alone, finally having the space he had been looking for. But he continued to stare at the closed door, lying there for a long time.
As promised, Winston returned in just over two hours. He scoffed, asking what was going to happen to the company, but after seeing the men who followed behind him, piling documents and office supplies in the hospital room, he had no choice but to shut his mouth. And unbelievably, Winston sat down in the hospital room and started working.