S#3

Gossip | I saw Ji Hyeon while working part-time today (Warning: Profanity)

Anonymous https:https://www.todayspring.com/jihyeon/2394305532

Just like the title says

I’m a 3-year part-timer at KB Bookstore

I was originally off, but I was super pissed because they said a variety show was coming to film on the day I was supposed to cover

The reason I’m pissed is because the filming crew doesn’t look at the books cleanly, and they rummage through them like props without buying the books they touched, damn it

Plus, it’s just everyday life for them to drag their equipment in and break something, and when they all come and go like that, it’s twice as hard to clean up later… There are also a lot of damaged books ㅠ

At first, I was amazed to see celebrities, but they come to our bookstore so often for filming ㅠ I’m sick of it now ㅠ

Anyway, so I was thinking, ‘Today’s going to be another shitty day~’ and preparing to open and just selling books normally

ㅋㅋㅋWhat’s funny is that I thought, ‘If anyone’s going to come, I wish it was Ji Hyeon…’ I’m sure Ji Hyeon lives in that neighborhood, but I’ve never seen Ji Hyeon in my life, even though I’ve lived in that neighborhood my whole life…

(I’m not really a Ji Hyeon fan, I just like him because he’s handsome in moviesㅋㅋㅋ)

So, while tidying up the shelves with a friend who works with me, having a conversation like, “I hope Ji Hyeon comes today,” / “Will Ji Hyeon really come?” / “If he does, I can stay here forever,” a crowd of people started bustling and coming down from outside.

At first, I just squinted, seeing people like PD Yoo?? and writers coming in, and setting up cameras and lights.

You guys set up… I’m just gonna work…~

Wow.

But

Shit.

Actor Ji came.

Really….

Actor Ji came…………………

The program filming at our bookstore was My MaeSo………

O0O……

Who the hell said Actor Ji wasn’t good-looking in person? He was radiating light from a hundred meters away…… I thought the Sanctus was playing in our store…

(The coworker said he heard some kind of bell, but later we found out that we forgot to play music in the store and got scolded by the store manager ㅡㅡ)

Anyway, Actor Ji was bigger than I thought. The fit of his knit and slacks was different from those skinny models.

There are a lot of guys who look good on camera because they have a good body, but look weak in person?? But Actor Ji isn’t like that… Actor Ji is just… just God…..

First of all, his face is so small, and his shoulders are broad, but he’s also super tall and his legs are super long. Yes, not just long, but super long. If they started from the floor, his waist would be around where I’d be gasping for air haha

Even from far away… it’s <<<<>>>> kind of feeling……..

His hair is a bit long, and he walks while sweeping it back with one hand ㅋㅋ I realized for the first time that an escalator could look like a runway…

(On a side note, I personally like Actor Ji’s long hair ㅠ Even if it’s long and scruffy, it would still have a fatal charm ㅠㅠ)

Anyway, Actor Ji who came in like that was surprisingly not alone (of course, he’s filming).

No, the reason I said surprisingly is because ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ I didn’t recognize the person behind Actor Ji at first ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

I was too busy looking at Actor Ji’s face ㅠㅠ but the person following behind was wearing all black from head to toe, so I thought it was some kind of… shadow? Something like that T_T

Seriously, watch the broadcast later. I’m not exaggerating, he was just all black. Even his bag was black;;

And he was wearing a black hat, so I was a little startled when I first recognized him.

I thought this person was just a staff member, but he was the Manager, standing in front of the camera with Actor Ji.

(Even until this point, I couldn’t see this person’s face properly because he was wearing his ball cap so low over his eyes;; Actually, I wasn’t even interested)

But the shelf there was a mess ㅠㅠ so the store manager told me to go and tidy it up.

So, with a nervous look, I slowly went over there, and the Manager was talking to Actor Ji, and then he came striding towards me.??

I was honestly so scared inside at this point. I just came to tidy up, but I was worried I’d be treated like someone who came to see a celebrity;

And the closer he got, the taller he was…(Won-ik… is on the shorter side and has only dated short guys) And since he was wearing a hat, he looked like a bodyguard ㅋㅋㅋ

What do I do? What do I do? I was thinking while standing there, and that person came to me and said, ‘Excuse me,’ and called me.

I was surprised the first time because of his nice voice, and the second time because of his face as soon as I looked up.

This person asked me, ‘Where is the book?'”…

Seriously…. I wished he would bother me more….

A face that I really wanted to get entangled with… I wished he would ask for directions to my heart instead of the book’s location… like that…

He was just so damn handsome…. Do they pick managers based on their looks? His features are seriously so defined.

A lot of celebrities live in my neighborhood, so I’ve seen a lot of idols while working part-time, you know?

But even they look blurry and ordinary when they come without makeup, but Actor Ji’s Manager’s eyes were eyes!!!!! His nose was nose!!!!! Asserting themselves bang

I can’t really explain it well, but you know that image that comes to mind when you think of a cold beauty (no double eyelids + defined T-zone + handsome with thick eyebrows)? He was exactly like that.

+But there was a reason why he looked scary when he wore a hat. His expression was a bit stern.

Actually, he was so much my ideal type that if he was a customer, I would have asked for his number like crazy, but he happened to be the Manager who came to film………. And even then, the filming crew was all looking at me…….

Fortunately, I’ve been working part-time for 3 years, you know?

Even when all kinds of difficult customers come ㅋㅋㅋ I can respond with a smile ㅋㅋ

I just acted like it was nothing, kept my cool, told him where the book was, told him to have a good time, and then returned to the shelf like a pro…

But I was so nervous that I don’t even remember what book I found for him ㅋㅋ I don’t even know if I found the right one… I hope he figured it out…?ㅠ I’m sorry, Manager.

Even as I’m writing this, he’s still lingering in my mind…

If Actor Ji was the Sanctus, this person was tinnitus… Maybe it’s the sound of my heart exploding…

He doesn’t seem like a celebrity… He’s more like my boyfriend… (Is it wrong to say this about a non-celebrity ㅠㅠ?)

Well, after that, the filming started right away, and the filming was nothing special.

I heard My MaeSo is all scripted, but they just filmed the two of them looking at books and chatting for three hours without a script.

(While writing this, I was wondering who looks at books for three hours, but when I think about it, I also looked at Actor Ji and the Manager’s faces for three hours haha.)

I won’t talk about the filming conversation. Everyone, watch the broadcast haha

Something a little strange was that I heard Actor Ji has mysophobia.

There was also a picture of him looking disgusted after shaking hands with a director before (although he said he wasn’t feeling well at the time, it was pretty obvious)

But when I saw him today, it seemed like he was all better???

He was sticking really close to the Manager?? He didn’t mind putting his arm around his shoulder or holding his arm.

If anything, the Manager seemed a little annoyed???

(I’m saying this so you don’t misunderstand, it’s not that he hated it, but that they were ‘really close’ so he would casually brush off his shoulder)

At first, I thought he was acting like that because of the broadcast, but he treated him the same way even during breaks. If anything, he seemed even more clingy when they were resting ㅋㅋㅋ

What happened was that there’s a cube puzzle on the shelf at our entrance for customers to try.

While the camera battery was being changed, Actor Ji was looking at it intently.

Actor Ji’s Manager was talking to the writer next to him, but suddenly, Actor Ji went to the Manager and asked him to solve it ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

No, he didn’t just say it, but he put his arm around his shoulder from behind and pointed at it, saying, ‘Solve that for me.’ If I were the Manager, I would have died of a heart attack because it was so exciting. Haaa….The position was like a back hug…

But the Manager nonchalantly said,

Why a cube all of a sudden?

And just took it and solved it. He solved it with one hand and gave it back to Actor Ji, and Actor Ji naturally received it and messed it up again.

ㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

No, if you were going to mess it up in 3 seconds after receiving it, why did you ask him to solve it ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

(On a side note, Actor Ji’s hands are so pretty… They’re big, but even from far away, they’re delicate and beautiful.

The Manager was so dumbfounded by that haha.

He was so dumbfounded that he brushed off Actor Ji’s arm on his shoulder and asked why he asked him to do it, and Actor Ji said, “There’s nothing XXX (Manager’s name) can’t do~” and started solving the cube again himself hahahahaha.

Does anyone know why he asked him to solve it when he could solve it himself? T_T

There were a lot of real back-and-forth moments like that between the two of them. They were like that even when the cameras weren’t rolling.

It doesn’t seem like he has mysophobia, and he seems to have a really good relationship with the Manager. I guess that’s why he’s been his Manager for 7 years.

After that… it got a bit busier with customers, so I was busy working too. I just occasionally looked at their faces.

Actually, I was supposed to control the customers, but it wasn’t working properly, so I was really pissed.

And I was newly impressed: Actor Ji and the Manager put all the books they rummaged through back in their original places, and if they saw any that were a little crumpled, they brought them to the cashier and paid for them right away after filming. This is really basic, but there are a lot of people who can’t even do that…..

This is the first time I’ve seen a team with such good filming manners like My MaeSo…… PD Yoo was also very kind. Not arrogant at all.

ㅋㅋㅋAh, and I was seriously debating when Actor Ji was paying for the books… whether to ask for an autograph or not…

I’m not a fan, but…… Still, it’s hard to see Actor Ji…..

I hesitated a trillion times and then mustered up the courage to ask ㅠㅠㅠ if he could give me an autograph ㅠㅠ

And he gave it to me so readily ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

Where did he sign it? Damn, on the card reader ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

I did the dumbest thing ever and got a signature instead of an autograph ㅠㅠㅠ

My heart is collapsing like a Wawa Mansion, but ㅠㅠㅠ I didn’t have the confidence to ask him to do it again, so I couldn’t control my expression………..

But the Manager, who had been quiet, nudged Actor Ji, probably because he saw my face or noticed something.

When Actor Ji looked at him, he just nodded silently.

As soon as I saw that, Actor Ji smiled and asked me,

Do you have any paper?

Like this ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

I thought only Actor Ji’s face was angelic, but his heart was also angelic ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ I thought only the Manager’s face was handsome, but his intuition was also handsome ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

(But now that I think about it, how did he know just from a nod? Was he sending telepathy?)

Anyway, so…

(A picture of an elegant cursive signature and the words ‘Thank you’.jpg)

I received it like that T_T

I got a signature!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s right, I wrote this post to brag about this…

Haha……

For reference, this happened today, and I’m writing this right after taking a shower after work to record it vividly…

I hope My MaeSo airs soon…….

(I’ll delete it if there’s a problem)

Byeong!

421 comments

1 You wrote a long witness account and then ended it as soon as you bragged about the autograph, hahaha! I’m so jealous! I want to see him in person too!

2 OMG Actor Ji!

3 That’s amazing, you hit the jackpot.

4 I’m so jealous……….

└ 22 I’ve been a fan for 10 years and I’ve never seen him T_T

└ 333 Me too……

└ 4444

└ 55555ㅠ

└ Deokgyemot 666666

5 I understand you’re excited, but ㅠㅠ… Shouldn’t you erase his name?? The Manager is a non-celebrity

└ 222 Even if it’s going to be on TV, it might be a bit much if it’s already up

└ Oh my god, thank you, I erased his name!!!

6 OMG ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠI also work part-time at a bookstore, but we’re just a small store so no celebrities come ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Actor Ji, please come to me ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

7 Won-ik, I thought you weren’t a fan of Actor Ji at first ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋYou seem to have already become a fan by the end

8 Ha, see? Actor Ji is so handsome in person? People who say he’s not are blind

└ Aren’t those people all antis? Or men

└ 222 I think they’re men ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Men hate Actor Ji because he didn’t go to the army ㅋㅋㅋㅋ

└ They’re just jealous because he’s handsome

9 I can relate to being stressed out when a filming crew comes ㅠㅠ I also work part-time and a variety show filmed once and messed up the inside so much that the boss got angry and said he’d never film again

10 This is more like a witness account of the Manager than Actor Ji ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

11 The Manager is handsome…?(opening the kidnapping sack)

└ I wonder what he looks like

└ 2222 Based on Won-ik’s description, he seems really handsome

└ But isn’t he just decent for a non-celebrity? If he was really handsome, he would have become a celebrity.

└ No, Actor Ji’s Manager is famous for being handsome… He always wears a hat so it’s not obvious

└ There were some pictures circulating a while ago

└ OMG… Does he wear a hat to hide his face?

└ Maybe

└ He’s wearing a hat because a non-celebrity is being photographed;;

└ He’s like a hidden gem

·

·

·

377 I saw the My MaeSo trailer today and came back to see this again… Now I know the handsomeness that Won-ik was talking about….

└ 22 I came to see it too

└ 333 Hahaha, me too

└ Haha, I thought it was just me 4444

└ 55555

└ OMG, the trailer is out??? Where can I watch it??

└ ☞☞☞ https:https://www.wetube.com/watch?v=P8lxQ-1oM11

└ Thank you ㅠㅠ I’m going to watch it right away

A spacious living room, a large sofa made of fabric, and a table placed alone in front of it with a mountain of unidentified papers piled on top. All kinds of papers, from the title of the work to the planning intention, were all scripts that came to Ji Hyeon.

Ji Hyeon, who would normally be reading a book or watching TV, had been reviewing scripts without moving for two hours. To choose his next work, with a face more like an actor than anyone else, his serious brow even had wrinkles.

Eun-ho was sitting on the diagonal sofa, calmly waiting for Ji Hyeon’s review. It was a boring and dull moment, but watching Ji Hyeon’s serious face wasn’t too bad. It was also Eun-ho’s role to listen to the impressions that Ji Hyeon would spit out with a tsk after reading a script.

“There’s nothing good.”

Ji Hyeon, who had checked the last page, put the script down as if throwing it. Eun-ho neatly stacked the scripts that Ji Hyeon had rejected on one side of the table. Contrary to the words that there was nothing good, there was no bad work among the scripts here.

“Is there a particular role you want to play?”

“Not really…….”

The question Eun-ho asked ended without much success. It was because Ji Hyeon answered carelessly without even looking at Eun-ho. It was the same indifferent attitude as usual, but it wasn’t just a feeling that he was subtly drawing a line.

“…….”

How long are you going to be like this? Eun-ho thought to himself and swallowed a sigh. Whether Ji Hyeon knew Eun-ho’s feelings or not, he was rummaging through the pile of papers and taking another script. With his lips barely moving, Eun-ho quietly watched his focused face again.

“…….”

“…….”

Should I ask him how long he’s going to be like that? Or should I just leave him alone? Actually, it wasn’t that he didn’t have a guess as to why. However, he wasn’t sure if that guess was correct, and he was a little reluctant to confirm the reality of his childishness.

“Take your time looking through them.”

So Eun-ho calmly said it again today, pretending not to know. As soon as he took his eyes off him, he felt Ji Hyeon glancing at him belatedly. If he was going to be so aware of it, he shouldn’t have been so cold from the beginning. He was being so prickly, but he couldn’t bear to ignore him.

The reason why Ji Hyeon started showing this attitude goes back a long time ago. To that time when he was sitting in front of the camera wearing a funny t-shirt that said ‘Ji Hyeon’s Manager’, to that moment when he felt an unnecessary sense of rebellion after hearing PD Yoo’s question.

‘There is someone I like.’

When he answered that, Eun-ho didn’t see what kind of expression Ji Hyeon made. He couldn’t bring himself to look at him, and he thought he wouldn’t be able to control his expression if he even made eye contact. At the same time, there were sighs among the staff, and PD Yoo also looked at Eun-ho with a surprised face.

‘Wow, you must like them a lot.’

Unlike his gentle nature, PD Yoo, who had been persistent, didn’t ask any further questions this time and finished the question. He even gave him a hopeless blessing that he hoped things would work out with that person after this broadcast aired. It was clear that he had filmed a melodrama in his head as he watched Eun-ho lower his eyes silently.

‘You worked hard!’

After all the filming was over, Eun-ho first took off his makeup with the help of Yeonju. He had only put on a little base, but his skin felt so stuffy. When he had finished removing his makeup, Ji Hyeon was nowhere to be seen, and Eun-ho found him in the van parked in the parking lot.

‘What’s wrong, are you not feeling well?’

Worry seemed to come before the annoyance that he had disappeared without saying anything. The fact that he had suddenly gone to a place where he could be alone might mean that his condition had worsened. Was he having another panic attack? Thinking that, Eun-ho looked back at the back seat, and the words Ji Hyeon said to him were unexpected.

‘A manager always has to be by the actor’s side, so they don’t have time to meet anyone.’

It was what he had said in the interview earlier. Why are you bringing that up? He wanted to ask, but Ji Hyeon was faster than him.

‘You talk a good game.’

‘…….’

It was a gentle tone, but he knew. He knew that Ji Hyeon was mocking him right now. And that what he meant was, ‘But you still have someone you like?’

‘It’s not wrong.’

Eun-ho calmly accepted it, and Ji Hyeon didn’t answer. Crossing his arms and looking out the window was a sign that he didn’t want to talk anymore. Without knowing why he was upset, all Eun-ho could do was start the car.

After that, a subtle silence lingered in the car all the way home. Eun-ho would have preferred Ji Hyeon to confront him directly, but Ji Hyeon didn’t bring up the interview content again. He simply stared at Eun-ho through the rearview mirror with cold, sunken eyes. Eun-ho wondered why he was acting like the one who had been slapped. No matter how he thought about it, the guy was ridiculous.

Anyway, after that awkward ride home, Ji Hyeon’s attitude subtly changed. He not only spoke less than usual, but he also didn’t stop Eun-ho from going home. Nevertheless, a new empty pill bottle appeared every morning. Well, the only difference was that it was on the sink instead of the table.

‘If you have a complaint, say it.’

Of course, Eun-ho said that at first. But all he got in return was a snort, as if to say, why should I tell you everything? At that point, Eun-ho couldn’t help but realize.

‘He’s not a kid…’

He was sulking because Eun-ho hadn’t told him first that he had a crush on someone. It was childish, but it was entirely possible for Ji Hyeon, whom he had known for many years.

‘We’re twenty-nine years old.’

‘……’

‘You know we’re too old for that.’

His sincere words had no impact on Ji Hyeon. Ji Hyeon retorted as if it was none of his business, ‘Who decides what age is appropriate?’ leaving Eun-ho speechless. Of course, he couldn’t even dare to say that he was acting like he was jealous.

So he couldn’t ask. Why was our first meeting in the first grade? I met you in the second-grade classroom. What connection did we have in the first grade when we weren’t even in the same class?

Originally, he would have been able to find out during the filming when they sat around with the panel and watched the edited version. But Ji Hyeon canceled everything with a single sentence: he didn’t want to do that shitty talk and laugh at stupid jokes. Fortunately, or perhaps because CEO Byun’s initial two-day schedule didn’t include studio filming in the first place.

In fact, there were other ways to confirm Ji Hyeon’s answer. As it was Ji Hyeon’s first variety show appearance, the agency had decided to receive an advance copy of the edited version before the broadcast. The review would be done internally by the agency, but they would gladly show it to Eun-ho if he asked. However, he just didn’t feel like going that far.

About a month before the video was edited and aired. Eun-ho wasn’t the only one waiting for the premiere. Several posts a day were uploaded to online communities, praying for the broadcast of “My MaeSo.” As if to prove their wishes, a post by a bookstore employee who witnessed Ji Hyeon during filming was already at the top of the best posts with many recommendations.

CEO Byun didn’t miss this opportunity and subtly called Eun-ho to the agency. Now that he had rested enough, filmed a variety show as a warm-up, he should slowly urge Ji Hyeon to film his next project. Eun-ho expected him to refuse, but surprisingly, Ji Hyeon answered without much thought.

‘Get me the script.’

And he added with a curl of his lips.

‘I’ve had a lot of time lately.’

It was an unsettling answer. He used to say he didn’t like it because he was busy, but now he didn’t like it because he was bored. What a contrary guy. Eun-ho couldn’t possibly know his twisted intentions, but he had a duty to bring him the script if the actor wanted it.

Anyway, for that reason, Eun-ho personally received a half-selected script from CEO Byun and went to Ji Hyeon’s house. Instead of delivering everything, Eun-ho filtered it out once more, and the piles of scripts on the table were the ones that had been reduced to half of half.

Of course, about half of those had already been filtered out by Ji Hyeon.

“……This is good.”

Eun-ho turned his gaze at the slow words. Ji Hyeon, for once, curled up the corners of his mouth with a pleasant expression. Wondering what kind of work it was, Eun-ho stretched out his neck, and Ji Hyeon casually handed over the script.

“I’ll do this one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

It was a clean answer. Eun-ho thought he wouldn’t be able to choose one by the end of the day, but fortunately, there was a good one. Eun-ho, who was relieved, had no choice but to shut his mouth when he saw the title written on the script.

“Tell the President and set up a meeting. Tell them the sooner, the better.”

The six-episode web drama was a work by a famous writer that everyone would know if they heard the name. It was scheduled to be released on an OTT platform, not terrestrial broadcasting, and the filming period was not long as there were few episodes. Eun-ho thought it was a good work, but that wasn’t the important part.

“I have to start before I get even more bored.”

A smile was mixed in with the soft voice. Eun-ho felt a tightness around his chest and swallowed hard without showing it.

The title of the drama was . The genre was legal, and Ji Hyeon’s role was a prosecutor.

CEO Byun said that he still listened to Eun-ho. Eun-ho couldn’t deny it, and in fact, Ji Hyeon tended to be docile only to Eun-ho. Of course, this was possible because Eun-ho’s requests generally didn’t offend Ji Hyeon.

‘You’ve been a lawyer, so try being a prosecutor.’

This time was the same. A casual remark. The recommendation stemmed from the fact that he thought the prosecutor’s uniform would look good on him, and Ji Hyeon would have found it reasonable. Even if the person making the suggestion wasn’t Eun-ho, he would have thought, ‘Should I?’ at least once.

So Eun-ho didn’t presume that Ji Hyeon’s choice was due to his influence. A good script came in at the right time, the writer was famous, and he judged that it was a good time to do a legal drama, so he chose . It was a bit… a bit of an overestimation to say that Eun-ho’s influence was at play.

‘But the problem is that I’m still conscious of it.’

It was the day of the drama meeting. Eun-ho, who had visited Ji Hyeon’s house in the morning, put him in the car and headed to the restaurant where the meeting was to be held. Thanks to Ji Hyeon’s saying that the sooner, the better, the date was set a few days after the casting was confirmed. It was probably because he was worried that Ji Hyeon might change his mind.

‘I guess he didn’t sleep yesterday either…’

Eun-ho glanced at the rearview mirror while holding the steering wheel. Ji Hyeon, reflected in the mirror, was reading the script in his hand with his eyes lowered. He had memorized it enough, but he was obviously looking at it absentmindedly because he had nothing to do.

“Ji Hyeon.”

Ji Hyeon raised his head when Eun-ho called out to him casually. Their eyes met briefly through the rearview mirror. Eun-ho looked ahead again and asked lightly.

“How’s your condition?”

“Just so-so.”

The answer was docile, but that made him even more suspicious. Ji Hyeon was clearly in a bad mood right now, and it didn’t make sense for him to give this kind of answer in that state. He should have said that he felt like crap, or that he wouldn’t cause an accident, so don’t worry.

“It’s going to be a traffic jam, so get some sleep.”

Ji Hyeon didn’t show any particular reaction to the following words either. Not only today, but for the past few days, Ji Hyeon had been maintaining a very docile attitude. The problem was that such a thing felt more like a time bomb about to explode.

“……”

Just in time, the light turned red. The cars that had been moving forward slowly like turtles came to a stop. Thanks to leaving early, there was no need to worry about being late, but just because he wasn’t in a hurry didn’t mean he wasn’t frustrated by the traffic jam.

Eun-ho rested his wrist on the steering wheel and sighed softly. It was a small action that Ji Hyeon in the back seat wouldn’t notice. Eun-ho, who took another breath, clicked his tongue briefly as if he couldn’t stand it.

“Hey.”

When he suddenly blurted it out and turned his head, Ji Hyeon was looking at Eun-ho. Eun-ho paused and closed his mouth because he didn’t expect their eyes to meet. He had no choice but to move his lips because Ji Hyeon narrowed his brows as if telling him to speak.

“What’s wrong with you?”

His neatly trimmed eyebrows went up. When Ji Hyeon tilted his head, his fine hair scattered over his forehead. His blinking eyes contained more frustration than dissatisfaction.

“What?”

“Just overall……”

Perhaps to others, he would look the same as usual. Even CEO Byun, who had known Ji Hyeon longer than Eun-ho, wouldn’t notice any particular difference. Only one person, Eun-ho, knew that he was in a bad mood right now.

“You’re protesting to me, right now.”

“……”

His long eyelashes drooped slightly. Eun-ho thought he would deny it, but Ji Hyeon only wore a faint smile. His lips, tilted diagonally, made a languid voice.

“Anyone would think I’m picking a fight with you or swearing at you.”

It was a tone as soft as cappuccino foam. The same was true of the story that followed.

“I let you go home recently because you said you couldn’t sleep at my house, and I chose a drama because you asked me how about working again. It’s not like I took a role you told me not to, and I even chose the prosecutor role as you told me to, so what’s your problem?”

“……”

“I think that’s the question I should be asking. What’s wrong with you that you keep doing this to someone who’s just staying still?”

It seemed like a protest containing unfairness at first glance, but it was actually a fault he confessed with his own mouth. It was the same as kindly explaining that he was different from usual. Of course, Eun-ho retorted in a sighing voice.

“I know you pretend to listen well when you don’t like something.”

Bbang! A horn sounded from behind the car. Eun-ho frowned and checked the signal, and he saw that the traffic light had turned green. Fortunately, the car in front of Eun-ho was just starting to move as well.

“……If you’re really going to pretend to listen well, don’t call me. What kind of reaction am I supposed to show when you call me and treat me like I’m invisible?”

That was why Ji Hyeon’s actions were nothing more than a tantrum. He was acting like a good, obedient child, but in the end, he was vaguely hovering in front of him. As if he was deliberately showing that he had changed like this.

“I told you to take only one pill if you’re going to take medicine, but you keep leaving empty pill bottles…… How annoying it is to clean that up every time……”

Oops. Eun-ho swallowed the last word and hurriedly closed his mouth. He hoped that Ji Hyeon wouldn’t hear the last word he had mumbled awkwardly, but Ji Hyeon was annoyingly sharp-eared. A voice one tone lower than usual flowed out in the quiet car.

“Annoying?”

“……”

He should have chosen his words more carefully. He knew that there was a reverse scale that he shouldn’t touch.

“Why, are you annoyed to take care of a nasty bastard now that you have a crush on someone?”

His tone, which had become sharp in an instant, pierced his ears. He had been twisting his words as if he wasn’t, but it seemed that his patience had run out at the word annoying. Eun-ho swallowed the rising sigh and turned the steering wheel.

“……Why is that coming up? What does me having a crush on someone have to do with us fighting right now?”

Strictly speaking, it was related, but he couldn’t admit it. First of all, Eun-ho softened his voice in an attempt to soothe him.

“I’m your Manager. I was worried about your condition and I was worried that it would affect your work.”

“I didn’t know.”

The answer was quick, and the next words were even quicker. The one word that flowed out like a breath was enough to shut Eun-ho’s mouth.

“I thought we were friends.”

“……”

What else had offended this guy? Even though Eun-ho didn’t answer, Ji Hyeon didn’t stop talking.

“Then shall we talk about it officially? Manager Kwak, I don’t know where you’re going to meet women when you said you don’t have time to follow me around.”

“Hey.”

At this point, Eun-ho was also annoyed. There was no reason for Ji Hyeon to pick a fight like this just because he said he had a crush on someone.

“Don’t be sarcastic. It’s not like I don’t know how to be sarcastic, and I don’t have a reason to hear those words from you.”

“I know, Kwak Eun-ho is good at talking.”

“……”

“The problem is that you’re so good at talking, but you don’t say the words you need to say.”

He felt like his nerves were stretched taut. He wanted to ask him where he was angry, but he couldn’t spit it out raw. If he hadn’t been holding the steering wheel, he would have cursed in a fit of anger.

“……Okay, let’s talk later. I don’t know why I’m fighting with you.”

Losing his temper and fighting was something he did when he was a hot-blooded young man. The meeting would be arriving soon, so there was no need to create a mess and leave emotional remnants.

But Ji Hyeon didn’t think so, and he opened his mouth as he threw down the script.

“I told you, you make me out to be such a bad person.”

He had heard similar words. He had brushed it off casually at the time, but this time it was not an atmosphere for joking at all. While Eun-ho kept his mouth shut, Ji Hyeon continued with a slightly suppressed voice.

“There’s a limit to how much you can make fun of people, Eun-ho. You asked me to sleep over, bothered me to let you sleep with me, and took up all my time by calling me on my days off, and now you’re saying you have a crush on someone?”

“……”

“If you had a crush on someone, you should have told me sooner. If you had asked me to take a day off because you had to meet that person, I would have just let you go.”

In short, he meant why he had made him take on the role of an obstacle. Did he know that he was saying selfish things because he didn’t want to be a selfish person? Since when was he such a considerate person? It was a ridiculous reason.

“What were you thinking while I was doing that? I’ll just put up with this immature bastard, I’ll just put up with it, I know you were just brushing it off like that, right?”

“I told you not to talk like that.”

Speaking in a subdued voice didn’t pose any threat. There were many things he wanted to say, such as that it was a delusion, that he was acting like this because of that, but he couldn’t spit it out raw.

“If you’re my Manager as you said, you should have told me to guarantee my rest time. If you weren’t, and you were my friend, you should have persuaded me to understand because you had these circumstances.”

“I didn’t feel the need to. It’s a private matter anyway……”

“Ah, I see. I guess so.”

Ji Hyeon answered in a generous tone as if he understood enough. The laughter that flowed out with a snort contained a bit of self-deprecation.

“Because you don’t tell me anything about your private life.”

“……”

It was a more fundamental revulsion. It was a tired tone, and he probably thought so to some extent. The dissatisfaction he had with Eun-ho always caught them in this way.

“So I have to hear your stories that I don’t know in front of others like that again.”

Ah, this is the worst.

Eun-ho forced himself to maintain a blank expression and pressed down on the hat he was wearing. Ji Hyeon, who was visible in front, was talking to the drama PD with an incomparably refreshing smile. On the surface, there seemed to be no problem, but the more his smile deepened, the more his mood plummeted to the bottom.

“So the role that Ji Hyeon will play is……”

Should he be glad that the camera was rolling? No, should he stop filming right now because he didn’t know when he would cause an accident?

They were taking an interview to put in a making video or something. Originally, he was supposed to meet with other actors as well, but thanks to CEO Byun’s urging, a private meeting was held first. In front of an expensive Korean set meal that looked expensive at first glance, Ji Hyeon was just smiling brightly without even touching the food.

‘I won’t cause an accident at the meeting, so just leave me alone. I know I’m being unreasonably mean, but just because I know doesn’t mean I’ll say nice things.’

It seemed that he was really going to keep his word from the car. So he was pretending to be docile without saying a word, even though he was carrying a lot of bad aura. Without even giving a glance at the side where Eun-ho was standing, he reflexively picked up the glass of water and put it down next to him without showing it.

“If you’ve read the script, you’ll know……”

Anyway, it was the worst. What was the worst was that Ji Hyeon wasn’t the only one in a bad mood. And even while standing among the staff, the conversation he had with Ji Hyeon a little while ago didn’t leave his head.

Of course, the worst thing was that he said he was worried as a manager, but he didn’t even take care of the actor’s condition.

‘What Manager.’

He hasn’t eaten a single meal today. His last meal was probably around yesterday afternoon. If he counted the sleeping pills he had swallowed as he picked them up, it was a little after midnight.

‘Eat something.’

The PD was excited and chattering away, even though the actor hadn’t eaten a single bite. Of course, if he told him to eat, it would create a more embarrassing situation, but he couldn’t help but feel resentful. Even considering the fact that Ji Hyeon didn’t usually eat outside food well.

Eun-ho fidgeted with the brim of his hat, unable to hide his frustration. He needed to stay calm, especially in times like these, but today he just wasn’t in the mood. He felt like he was losing control, his emotions running wild, making his stomach churn.

But what could he do? Just a few dozen minutes ago, they had that conversation in the car.

“What, now that you have someone you like, you’re too bothered to clean up after a nasty bastard like me?”

Eun-ho usually didn’t get worked up easily, but this time he couldn’t help but feel wronged. He had never let his personal feelings affect his work, so why should he have to waste his emotions listening to such nonsense? What was even more absurd was that even though he thought he had done nothing wrong, he was still worried about Ji Hyeon, who was hurt.

Ji Hyeon acted like an arrogant jerk, but then he would become overly cautious. He was always on edge around Eun-ho, worrying that he might be annoying him or that he might be acting selfishly and earning his hatred.

But in other words, he also knew how much Eun-ho would put up with. He could whine about wanting hand cream applied, but Eun-ho wouldn’t let him stay over if he insisted. However, he would let him sleep over if he had nowhere else to go. He was walking a tightrope, acting spoiled and demanding attention just within the limits.

That’s why Eun-ho knew the complex betrayal he must be feeling. Ji Hyeon, who had an unusually narrow circle of friends, was strangely blindly devoted to Eun-ho. He would ignore him when he was right next to him, but he would become anxious when he couldn’t see him.

He must have felt hurt. By the fact that there was someone else he didn’t know. Hearing about it through an interview, and even sharing feelings that he didn’t know about.

It wasn’t like he didn’t know he would sulk. No, in fact, he had said it to make him feel bad. Meanwhile, he had been hiding their first meeting all this time. What was so wrong with hiding one unspeakable feeling?

“……”

No… that was a lame excuse. He just couldn’t wait to show his festering feelings. More precisely, he wanted to see Ji Hyeon, who was always smiling so calmly, waver. He admitted it. He had been overly mean to a guy who was already unstable, even though he didn’t need to shake him up.

In fact, Eun-ho felt the same way. If Ji Hyeon had someone he liked, he would be a little, no, actually very upset. The reason would be quite different from what Ji Hyeon was feeling… but their bond, a relationship that could almost be called unique, couldn’t be dismissed with a single word that he didn’t feel the need for it.

It was just a difference in personality. Eun-ho was disappointed but could understand, and because he understood, he didn’t say anything. On the other hand, Ji Hyeon understood but was disappointed, and because he was disappointed, he complained. If you called this difference wrong, that would be a selfish judgment.

‘If you had someone you liked, you should have said so sooner. If you had asked me to take a day off to meet that person, I would have just let you go.’

But in the end, it wasn’t jealousy. The realization was bittersweet. The words asking why he was making him a son of a bitch, why he was volunteering to be an obstacle, lingered in his heart strangely.

‘I told you, you make me look like such a bad person.’

He didn’t expect anything, but he felt disappointed. How could human emotions be so fickle? If that was the case, he shouldn’t have turned things upside down. He didn’t even realize that he would be the one to be turned upside down.

“Haa…”

Eun-ho sighed softly and turned around. He was frustrated, but he couldn’t ignore the state of that sensitive actor. His condition would deteriorate rapidly after the meeting, so it would be good to feed him something.

Eun-ho immediately left the restaurant room and crossed the hallway. It was a bit funny to be looking for food inside a restaurant, but he knew that Ji Hyeon wouldn’t eat anything that wasn’t a finished product from a factory, so he couldn’t help it. When he was in such a bad condition, even the food from the cleanest restaurant was already out of the question because it had been touched by ‘someone else’s hands.’

Fortunately, there was a convenience store not far from the restaurant. Eun-ho picked up bread and coffee, then put the coffee down and grabbed milk and juice next to it. He was planning to eliminate the option altogether, knowing that he would pour coffee into his empty stomach first thing.

As he walked back to the restaurant with the convenience store bag, his frustration had eased a little. Eun-ho wasn’t the type to hold on to negative emotions for long anyway. If he could just endure the moment when he reached his peak, he could get over most things without much trouble. In the first place, if the other person wasn’t Ji Hyeon, he wouldn’t have been so annoyed today.

“……?”

The restaurant he returned to had a strangely chaotic atmosphere. He wondered if it was because a celebrity had arrived and it had become noisy, but the security guard standing at the entrance wasn’t just for show. With a bad feeling, he almost ran across the hallway, and just then, one of the staff members spotted Eun-ho and shouted.

“Manager, where have you been!”

“……What’s wrong?”

A sense of unease washed over him. At the same time as asking the question, Eun-ho pushed his way through the crowd. He thought it would be faster to see for himself than to wait for an answer. As expected, his judgment was correct, and as soon as he entered the room, Eun-ho froze, unable to say a word.

“No, the actor…”

In the crowd of people, a man was sitting on the floor. His shoulders rising and falling sharply, his fingertips trembling, and his eyes blurred without focus were all too familiar.

“Ji Hyeon, Ji Hyeon, snap out of it! Are you okay?”

“……”

It was Ji Hyeon. He must have been trying to get up from his chair and collapsed, because he was kneeling on one knee on the floor. He was holding onto the table with one hand, his head bowed and panting. Before he could even properly process the situation in front of him, Eun-ho shouted without realizing it.

“Don’t touch him!”

“Huh?”

The PD, who was about to grab Ji Hyeon’s shoulder, stopped in surprise. Eun-ho turned the bag he was holding upside down and strode towards him. As the bread and drinks tumbled messily, the PD flinched and stepped back at the sight of his powerful presence.

“How long has he been like this?”

“Yes? Oh, yes, just now… he suddenly collapsed when he was trying to get up…”

His mind went blank, but he knew exactly what to do right now. Eun-ho first grabbed Ji Hyeon’s hand on the table and pulled him towards him. Ji Hyeon, who reflexively tried to shake him off, blankly raised his head at Eun-ho’s soft voice.

“Ji Hyeon-ah.”

“……”

Eun-ho’s face was reflected in his hazy eyes. His tear-stained gaze was dark and gloomy even in the bright daylight. His eyelashes were trembling, and his face was as pale as if he was about to faint.

He’s hyperventilating. Realizing this, Eun-ho brought the empty bag to Ji Hyeon’s mouth. He held it firmly in place to cover his nose and mouth and whispered in a voice small enough for only Ji Hyeon to hear. His usually gruff voice was now as soft as it could be.

“Breathe, slowly.”

“……Heu.”

The soft groan that escaped was more pitiful than a loud scream. Ji Hyeon grabbed Eun-ho’s wrist this time, just like he had been holding onto the table a moment ago. He gripped it tightly as if it were a lifeline, blinking his eyes and breathing roughly.

“……”

He thought his condition wasn’t good. He never thought he would suddenly show symptoms of a panic attack. But he thought he had been getting better lately, so when did his condition suddenly drop like this?

“……Could you turn off the cameras, please.”

Eun-ho asked softly and carefully examined Ji Hyeon’s face. He seemed to be breathing a little easier, but his face was still full of anxiety. After removing the plastic bag and putting the hat on Ji Hyeon’s head, Eun-ho covered Ji Hyeon’s ears with his large hands.

“Ji Hyeon-ah, look at me.”

“……”

Blocking this much wouldn’t make the sound disappear. As expected, Ji Hyeon looked straight at Eun-ho with trembling eyes. Eun-ho met his gaze and nodded, speaking calmly.

“Tell me three things you see.”

“……”

His well-shaped lips twitched. Kwak Eun-ho. It was a call, but also an answer. Nodding to mean he should continue, Ji Hyeon slowly turned his gaze to the other side.

“The floor and… the table.”

“What do you hear?”

“……”

Was it a strange question to ask with his ears covered? Eun-ho was about to take his hand away when Ji Hyeon grabbed his wrist a little harder. He felt a stinging pain, but it wasn’t enough to let go.

“…Your voice and your breathing…”

It wasn’t three things, but two, but Eun-ho was happy to let it go. In the first place, there was no other sound in the interior, which had become as quiet as a mouse. Eun-ho asked Ji Hyeon the last question, who looked more comfortable than before.

“And what do you feel?”

“……”

It took quite a long time to answer this time. Ji Hyeon blinked slowly, and instead of twitching his lips, he gave a faint smile with a tired face. Ji Hyeon, who had collapsed into Eun-ho’s arms, whispered in a voice that could barely be heard.

“…Kwak Eun-ho’s body temperature.”

It was a terrible answer.

What happened at the restaurant was just a small incident. Eun-ho took care of Ji Hyeon, who belatedly came to his senses, and made excuses that he had looked unwell since morning. That’s why he couldn’t eat the food and collapsed because he was showing symptoms of anemia.

Fortunately, no one objected, so the two were able to leave the restaurant without any problems. Ji Hyeon, on the contrary, had a fresher face and apologized for causing trouble, and finished the meeting. He even said that he would see them at the script reading with a good-natured face, so there would be no unnecessary rumors.

“You’re the only one who would leave behind an expensive Korean set meal and eat convenience store bread.”

So now, Ji Hyeon was eating convenience store bread in the car that Eun-ho was driving. He was still wearing the hat that Eun-ho had put on him, and in his other hand he was holding a tasteless (according to Ji Hyeon) fruit and vegetable juice. There was still a pale look on his face, but that was probably because his skin was so fair.

“Even though it fell on the floor.”

“Ah…”

Ji Hyeon sighed irritably. It was as if he was saying, “Why are you saying such things that make me lose my appetite?” But seeing him take another bite of the bread, he must have been hungry.

“I’ll cook for you when we get home, so just fill your stomach.”

That’s a good thing. The fact that his appetite was back meant that he was feeling better. For some reason, his expression had improved since he left the restaurant. He was a guy who held grudges for a long time, but he rarely recovered emotionally so quickly.

“…You said your condition was just so-so.”

Eun-ho openly scolded Ji Hyeon as if he were talking to himself. He felt relieved, but also resentful in many ways. He had shaken him up since morning, and in the end, he had even made him worry. Even though it was a familiar situation, he couldn’t help but feel his heart drop every moment.

“It’s not like I ever gave you a warning before I got sick.”

Ji Hyeon replied in a tone that showed no sign of remorse. Of course, it wasn’t Ji Hyeon’s fault, but it was annoying that he wouldn’t say that he wasn’t even if he was about to die. In Eun-ho’s eyes, he had looked uneasy from the moment he left the house in the morning.

‘……I should have taken care of it.’

Eun-ho suppressed the scolding that had risen to his throat, thinking like a manager. It was also his fault for not taking care of his condition, so there was no point in catching Ji Hyeon any more. He was doing it for him, but in the end, he had even left his seat when it was important.

“How was the meeting.”

So Eun-ho just brought up a safe question. He could tell how the meeting went just by looking at it, but Ji Hyeon’s thoughts might be different.

But the answer that came back was like this.

“Is the youngest coordinator the person you like?”

“……What are you talking about now?”

The topic kept jumping around so much that it was crossing over time. Hadn’t they implicitly ended that topic? Eun-ho frowned, thinking so.

“Why are you bringing that up all of a sudden?”

“Well, it’s obvious. You only contact a few people. Who else would you be interested in?”

He heard the sound of fruit and vegetable juice being sucked up. “It’s really tasteless…” He also heard him muttering that. They say that if you’re too dumbfounded, you can only laugh. Laughter leaked out from between his parted lips.

“Did you only think about that during the meeting?”

“Don’t tell me.”

It sounded like he was saying, “Don’t tell me I did,” but it also sounded like he was saying, “Don’t you think I did?” Eun-ho didn’t try to figure out the truth, but denied it firmly.

“It’s not Yeonju.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah.”

“Then who is it?”

“……”

He didn’t know what kind of change of heart he had, but he seemed to have changed his strategy. From pretending not to know and being quiet to actively finding out who it was. He thought the former was annoying, but now he realized that the latter was much more troublesome.

“Someone you don’t know…”

“Where would that person be.”

“……”

“Who doesn’t know that Kwak Eun-ho’s social circle is tiny.”

The excuse he had barely managed to come up with was rejected with just one word. Even Eun-ho thought it was a very pathetic excuse. Home, study, part-time job. Those three things were all there was to Eun-ho’s life, so Ji Hyeon was the only person he could call a friend.

“Who is it, tell me. Maybe I can help.”

“Help with what…”

This time, it was really nonsense. Ji Hyeon helping him with his love life. Just imagining it gave him goosebumps. They both had virtually no dating experience, so how could he be of any help?

“I guarantee you’ll be no help at all.”

“……”

It was a statement that could hurt his pride, but Ji Hyeon couldn’t deny it either. In fact, even the offer to help was probably just empty words. After hearing the sound of the straw one more time, Ji Hyeon muttered softly.

“If it’s not the youngest coordinator… it must be a celebrity.”

“……”

“Given Kwak Eun-ho’s personality, it’s more likely to be an actor than an idol.”

“……”

“The age… probably not too different.”

Does this guy know something? It was a guess that was so confident that he thought so. The problem was that there was nothing among them that Eun-ho could deny. As if he had accepted the silence as affirmation, Ji Hyeon was now listing the names of all kinds of actresses.

“…Ah, it’s not like that.”

After getting annoyed, he realized that he had reacted like a teenager. Ji Hyeon must have thought so too, because he saw him widening his eyes in the rearview mirror. Eun-ho awkwardly narrowed his brows and sighed.

“What are you going to do if you know? I don’t really plan on things working out.”

“Why.”

“What do you mean why. It’s because that person doesn’t like me.”

He didn’t mean to, but there was a hint of bitterness in his voice. “I gave up a long time ago…” Eun-ho muttered, then lowered his voice calmly.

“The reason I answered that way in the interview was just to get some airtime. I thought I had answered everything too boringly, so I was trying to do something. If it was a serious feeling, I wouldn’t have said it that way there.”

He thought it was a reasonable reason. Eun-ho was the type to work hard to keep the conversation going when the cameras were rolling, so he just hoped that Ji Hyeon would believe the words ‘for the sake of airtime’.

“So stop talking about it. It’s not like I couldn’t meet her because of you, and I wasn’t planning on taking time off work to go meet her. The reason I didn’t tell you was…”

As he made excuses, he became long-winded and pathetic. While he was busy piecing together a suitable excuse, Ji Hyeon cut him off.

“That’s enough.”

“What?”

“That’s enough. I won’t ask you any more, so don’t make excuses that you don’t mean.”

His voice was serious, without a hint of laughter. Eun-ho suppressed the urge to turn around and gripped the steering wheel tightly. Ji Hyeon spoke in a tone that was neither teasing nor sulking.

“I told you. It’s more embarrassing to pretend to be okay in times like this.”

‘It’s more embarrassing to pretend to be okay in times like this.’

How many years ago was that? He thought it was foul to say those words at this timing. Whether he was doing it knowingly or unknowingly. No, there’s no way he could be doing it knowingly.

“That woman must be amazing.”

Not a woman. Eun-ho swallowed the words that had formed on the tip of his tongue and smiled bitterly. Of course, he had already returned to his original expressionless face before Ji Hyeon could see him. In the car, which was so quiet that he could hear his breathing, Eun-ho once again gently suppressed the words that were festering and rotting.

The person I like, the person I’ve been crushing on for a whopping four years, is none other than you, standing right in front of me.

How long had this old emotion been buried? I gave up the moment I realized it, and I covered it up for a full four years. Now, this feeling, as natural as breathing, had faded to the point where no one would notice it unless I deliberately brought it out and checked.

‘I’m not going to college.’

It was the winter of his senior year of high school. Eun-ho, who had given up on going to college, immediately went to a construction site where room and board were provided and started doing manual labor. At first, he wasn’t welcomed because of his young age and taciturn personality, but few people continued to be hostile to Eun-ho, who worked silently.

‘Why is a young kid like you already working at a construction site?’

Half the people were sorry for him, and half looked down on him. Some pitied him without knowing his circumstances, while others tried to lecture him, asking if he was already giving up on life.

‘Why don’t you go to college and tutor or something?’

It wasn’t that he didn’t feel wronged, but he couldn’t be bothered to respond to each person. It was the future he had chosen with his own hands, so it was actually ambiguous to blame anyone.

Eun-ho learned to be appropriately silent, and he realized that the cigarette he smoked during breaks from work was part of his rest. He never bought them with his own money because cigarettes were expensive, but there were many people who would hand him one if he lingered nearby. They were usually just harsh and spicy, but he was satisfied because he could stretch his back for a moment.

That was two years. From January of his twentieth year to October of his twenty-second. For almost three years, Eun-ho worked non-stop. When he opened his eyes, he was carrying cement at the construction site, and when the sun went down, he worked part-time at convenience stores or PC cafes. Sometimes, when he couldn’t sleep because of anxiety, he even took on the late-night shift of loading and unloading packages.

He earned a considerable amount of money, but most of it went to hospital bills. He had never had a proper surgery, but the various life-sustaining treatments and hospital bills alone were tight enough to make ends meet. The only hope was that his Grandmother had opened her eyes, but another despair was that the moments when she was in her right mind were few and far between.

‘Oh, my puppy…….’

Grandmother always just laughed, cried, or fell into a deep sleep. When she laughed, she didn’t recognize Eun-ho, when she cried, she just pitied him endlessly, and when she was asleep, she looked as if she had passed away.

‘I feel so bad for my puppy…….’

He was used to the pity that others gave him, but he couldn’t get used to the pity that Grandmother showed. It was because he knew that it wasn’t concern for Eun-ho, who couldn’t go to college and only worked, but tears of worry about what would happen after she left someday. Eun-ho also knew that she was sad that Eun-ho would be left all alone, so she couldn’t scold him and silently swallowed her tears.

But it was bearable. He wasn’t very afraid of a future that wouldn’t come. Instead of wasting energy on a situation that hadn’t happened yet, it was much more efficient to get another part-time job.

‘……Yes, hello.’

However, the floor he was barely standing on began to collapse with a single phone call. It was a day when the day at the construction site was particularly hard. He had tripped badly and bandaged his arm before heading home. Minor injuries didn’t hurt at all, but at that moment, the small vibration of his cell phone shook his whole body.

‘…….’

It was a cliché story. There was no miracle, and not even a hope that could be called a twist was given. It was a future that would come someday, and it was a notification that only made him feel like, “Oh, it’s finally here.”

They said that if she didn’t have surgery, she could pass away within six months. He tried to comfort himself by saying that doctors only assume the worst, but in the end, all he had to prepare for was his Grandmother’s death. The funny thing was, even if he had surgery on time, there was no guarantee how many years she would live.

While taking the subway, Eun-ho stared blankly at his reflection in the window, as if his soul had left his body. He had cursed poverty countless times, but he had never felt more miserable than this. The moment when he had to put a price on his family’s life was a shame that he could never get used to, no matter how many times he experienced it.

‘A loan…… There’s no way I can get one.’

Then should he take out a private loan? Or should he sell his organs? He used to joke around, saying that his kidneys were pocket money given by God, but maybe he was wrong to call them ‘pocket money’ because even if he had his kidney removed, he wouldn’t be able to raise enough money for the surgery. He remembered picking up business cards that said ‘Same/Day/Loan’ stuck in a corner of the subway, clutching his throbbing arm, and swallowing his vomit.

-This stop is Seongsu, Seongsu Station. The doors will open on…….

It wasn’t the station he had to get off at. He just ran away from the subway as if possessed by the feeling that he was about to throw up. Being mixed in with the crowd, the shaking under his feet, and the feeling that he was about to fall at any moment felt precarious.

Because it was late, there weren’t many people coming and going at the station. Drunk pedestrians, couples on dates, and men who looked like office workers were all cliché scenes.

It would be nice if he could be one of them. He dared to think that without knowing each individual’s circumstances. At least in this station right now, he was the most insignificant. He even secretly wished that the ground under his feet would collapse.

‘……Just a little bit.’

Let’s just bear with it a little bit. Just a little…… Just one more time. If he cut his sleeping time in half and did a side job in the remaining time, it would be okay. Family’s life can never be included in the category that can be given up because there is no money. Although he couldn’t sleep even four hours now, and his whole body, full of muscle pain, was screaming.

But let’s try a little harder just one more time. It was the moment when he unconsciously raised his head while thinking that.

‘…….’

The station wasn’t that dark, but the light pouring from the electronic display board was excessively bright. Was it because of the sparkling effect in the background, or was it because the person in the electronic display board was smiling so brightly?

It was a longing for a brilliant past that he thought he had forgotten. If there was a god of fate, he would have a mischievous personality. It was also a surprising timing that made him think that. The smile in front of him was the same as he remembered, so he momentarily wondered if his memory was wrong.

1004

JI-HYEON

Happy Birthday

to you

It’s his birthday. A dry thought came to mind. The familiar four numbers dragged out memories that had been hidden deep inside. There was a time when he chuckled, saying that it was a number that looked just like his face. He never thought he would encounter it again in this way.

‘It’s been a while.’

Ji Hyeon, wearing an ivory-colored knit, was smiling at the camera. With an angelic face as if it were his own birthday, so radiant that the fatigue that had been piled up disappeared. Who could imagine that this guy, who smiled so beautifully, was so prickly? Memories that only he knew drove away the dreary reality.

‘……I wonder how he’s doing.’

He must be doing well, for sure. He was already sparkling, so he must be even more famous now. Eun-ho, who didn’t even watch the weather forecast on TV, had heard the uncles at the construction site talk about Ji Hyeon several times.

Ji Hyeon-ah.

The name that lingered in his mouth never came out. He wasn’t the type to foolishly look at photos and miss him, and they weren’t in a relationship where they could casually greet each other anymore. If he hadn’t seen the advertisement in this place today, he probably would have continued to live day by day, buried in his memory.

‘…….’

But Eun-ho couldn’t leave the spot for a long time. It wasn’t because he was suddenly immersed in emotion, or because his feet were tied down by some unknown lingering attachment.

It was just that Ji Hyeon in the photo was wearing a familiar necklace around his neck.

‘No way…….’

The necklace with the capital letter ‘H’ was similar to the one Eun-ho had given him as a gift someday. The very necklace he had given him at a fancy store near the school, after emptying out all the money he had left. It was a cheap birthday present that he could have thrown away right away, let alone wear around his neck.

‘…….’

It couldn’t be. It had been three years, so it would have been rusty for a long time. He didn’t know where this photo came from, but there was no reason to wear such a necklace to a public event.

He thought that he was just imagining things. Come to think of it, Ji Hyeon said that there was a luxury brand with a similar design. H was Ji Hyeon’s initial, so just because it was the same design didn’t guarantee that it was that product.

‘……I’m leaving.’

The greeting he gave as if whispering was a farewell to a relationship that would not continue again. After leaving this place, Eun-ho had to return to his miserable life and endure day by day without even thinking about Ji Hyeon. He was only able to leave reality for a very short time, so he just hoped that his gratitude would be conveyed from afar.

‘Kwak Eun-ho?’

So, he thought he was hearing things. He was sure that he had heard something wrong because he had been watching for too long. He must have been caught up in an excessively inflated dream because of just one necklace.

‘You……!’

He remembers the moment that felt unreal, as if he was having a distant dream. If it hadn’t been for his arm being grabbed tightly, he probably would have dismissed it as just one of those dreams. A thrill ran through the gazes that met, and the clear, iridescent eyes ensnared Eun-ho.

‘Ah…….’

A sigh escaped. No, it might have been a breath that he had been holding in without knowing it. It wasn’t someone he could forget just because he had covered half of his face, wore a hat pulled down low, or grown a little taller.

The memories that he hadn’t even been able to take out for the past three years, the person he had only buried under the excuse of being busy, was standing in front of him.

‘……Ji Hyeon-ah.’

It would be a lie if he said he hadn’t imagined countless reunions. Just before falling asleep, or in the fleeting moments when he was using public transportation. There were moments when he took out the memories that had been neatly covered up and immersed himself in lingering feelings. There were definitely moments when he was dyed in memories like the sky dyed in the sunset, so he knew he couldn’t carry them around, but he couldn’t ask again.

‘Hey, where are you going…….’

Of course, none of them included the scene of Ji Hyeon suddenly appearing and dragging his arm. It’s been a while. How have you been? I heard your movie was a hit. Sorry, I’ve been so busy that I couldn’t contact you. Before he could recite the lines he had prepared, he grabbed Eun-ho with a strong force.

‘…….’

Eun-ho, who had asked several times where he was going, closed his mouth at some point, conscious of the people around him. It was because it was Ji Hyeon, not him, who would be in trouble if he attracted attention here. He could have broken free if he had used force, but that was also why he didn’t deliberately make a fuss.

Whether he knew Eun-ho’s consideration or not. Ji Hyeon really, really just walked without saying a word. He crossed the subway station with long strides, with his hand holding Eun-ho tightly. He couldn’t see his expression properly because he was wearing a hat and a mask to cover his face.

How long had he walked like that? Just when his patience was running out and he felt a tingling pain in his arm. Ji Hyeon let go of Eun-ho in front of a car parked in a deserted place. The car with darkly tinted windows was similar to the car that used to come to pick up Ji Hyeon in front of the school from time to time.

‘Get in.’

‘…….’

Should he get in willingly? He felt like he was being kidnapped for some reason. It was even more so because Ji Hyeon opened the door himself and pushed his back. He had thought about selling his kidneys, but he never thought he would be dragged here like this in human trafficking. Reluctantly, he awkwardly got into the car, and someone sitting in the driver’s seat turned around.

‘Hyeon-ah, why are you so lat…….’

He flinched, and their eyes met. Eun-ho greeted him right away without even realizing it.

‘……Hello.’

‘…….’

The man’s face was filled with embarrassment at the appearance of the polite uninvited guest. That’s because the actor he came to pick up was nowhere to be seen, and a grubby man had gotten into the car.

After staring at Eun-ho for a long time, the man suddenly narrowed his eyes with a subtle expression.

‘Oh? You are…….’

‘What are you doing? Get in quickly.’

At that time, Ji Hyeon urged him, pressing down on Eun-ho’s back.

‘I know, don’t push me.’

Eun-ho, who had scolded him softly, finally got completely into the car. Ji Hyeon, who sat next to him, slammed the car door shut and ordered the man in the driver’s seat.

‘Get out for a second.’

‘……Huh?’

Another look of embarrassment crossed the man’s face. Of course, Ji Hyeon didn’t care at all and just gestured with his chin in an arrogant manner.

‘Get out for a second. I have something to talk about with him.’

‘…….’

Ji Hyeon was nonchalant, but Eun-ho had to read the room. It was because the man made a stern face as if he was dumbfounded.

‘Hey, what’s wrong with you all of a sudden…….’

‘If you don’t get out, I’ll get out.’

‘Hey, hey!’

Ji Hyeon grabbed the back seat door as if he was about to get out right away. The man, who immediately locked the car door, sighed deeply and frowned. Eun-ho guessed that the man’s feelings right now were similar to his own when he was being dragged here quietly earlier.

‘……Call me when you’re done talking.’

With those words, the man willingly got out of the driver’s seat. Looking at him briefly, he was taking out a cigarette from his pocket and walking away. Even in the midst of all that, he didn’t forget to lock the driver’s seat door again in case something happened.

‘……Is it okay to treat Manager like that?’

‘He’s not my Manager.’

Ah, I see. If he’s not his Manager, then it’s okay to treat him like that. Eun-ho, who had lost his words, closed his mouth tightly. In the meantime, Ji Hyeon took off his hat and mask at the same time and swept back his disheveled hair.

‘Tell me.’

‘Tell you what…….’

Eun-ho reflexively replied and raised his eyes. He was about to lower his eyes along the hair that had unknowingly fallen down. With his eyes fixed on him, Ji Hyeon spoke in a very generous tone.

‘You must have something to say to me.’

‘…….’

He only thought he was tall, but his appearance had changed a little too. He used to be a little prettier, but he could see that his facial features had become more defined in the past few years. Even though he was only twenty-two years old, he had a masculine air in various parts of his face.

‘It’s been a while.’

That was all he felt. The floating feeling like he was dreaming disappeared the moment the electronic display board that brightly illuminated the surroundings disappeared. Now, all that was left were Ji Hyeon’s two eyes, which were the only things shining in the dark car.

‘How have you been?’

‘…….’

Ji Hyeon frowned. He looked like he had a lot to say, but he didn’t speak right away. He just blinked slowly and chose his words for a long time. Just as Eun-ho was about to lower his gaze again, the lips that had been tightly closed opened again.

‘I’ve been doing well. I’ve filmed movies, dramas, and CFs…… There were so many I couldn’t even count them.’

‘…….’

‘Is that all?’

What kind of answer should he give? In fact, he wanted to run away right away. He didn’t think they would have a tearful reunion, but he didn’t know it would be this awkward. The voice that he always thought was gentle seemed to be scolding Eun-ho today.

‘I didn’t know you’d be curious about my recent whereabouts, which you can find just by searching on the internet.’

‘……But I have to hear it in person.’

‘Don’t lie. You didn’t even look me up.’

He didn’t know why he brought it up if he was going to nitpick anyway. As Eun-ho awkwardly scratched the back of his neck, Ji Hyeon puffed up his chest greatly. Eun-ho asked with a cautious look as he lowered his head for a moment.

‘……Are you okay?’

He asked because he was worried that his condition might have worsened again. He had often seen him having trouble breathing in the past. But Ji Hyeon glared at Eun-ho coldly without changing his expression.

‘If I’m not okay.’

‘…….’

‘What are you going to do, then?’

It was as if a cold wind was blowing, as if he was about to be cut. He was smiling so brightly in the advertisement on the electronic display board. Anyone who saw him would think he was a different person. Um, Eun-ho, who had briefly cleared his throat, replied in an indifferent tone.

‘……Then I’ll have to call Manager.’

‘He’s not my Manage…… Ah.’

Was it just his imagination? He heard a curse. “F*ck, really,” or something similar. Ji Hyeon, who had gritted his teeth for a moment, chewed on his words with his unique soft voice.

‘You’re a real bastard.’

‘…….’

The reason why he wasn’t angry at the sudden criticism was because he had a guilty conscience. He had been pretending not to know since earlier, but he knew what Ji Hyeon wanted to hear. Why he suddenly stopped contacting him, how he had been doing, he probably wanted him to list even excuses that were just excuses.

‘…….’

How should he do it? He had a lot to say, but none of it was what he wanted to say. Among the words that would only become pathetic if uttered, the only word he carefully chose and offered to Ji Hyeon was this:

“Sorry.”

“…….”

Funnily enough, Ji Hyeon’s expression softened with just that one word. There was still a lot of tension in his eyebrows, but the look of anger, as if he had been betrayed, had improved. Instead, he revealed the same prickly attitude as usual.

“What are you sorry for?”

“…….”

“Why do you do things you’ll be sorry for?”

“……You sound like a drama protagonist.”

“Hey.”

His face, crumpled in annoyance, was just like when he was eighteen. Even though he knew it wasn’t the time, Eun-ho couldn’t help but chuckle. Leaning his head against the backrest and closing his eyes, the emptiness he had been struggling to hold back flooded in.

“……Ji Hyeon-ah.”

What was so hard that he acted like he was about to die? What was so desperate, and what was so embarrassing? It wasn’t like he didn’t have a moment to breathe, so why was it so hard to look around?

“Grandmother collapsed the day you went to Hong Kong.”

But Eun-ho was still standing alone on a tightrope. He walked straight ahead, not knowing if the wind would blow, if someone would shake the rope, or where the destination was. On a precarious floor where, if someone chased him and grabbed his wrist, he might fall off while greeting them.

“I didn’t go to college because I was making money…… No, I couldn’t.”

“…….”

“I was too busy to contact you.”

He didn’t want to say sorry again. In fact, he wasn’t even sure if he was that sorry. Eun-ho hadn’t contacted anyone, and none of them would feel as betrayed as this. Only one person, only Ji Hyeon, did.

“……Don’t make that face. She didn’t die.”

When he opened his eyes again, Ji Hyeon had a serious expression on his face. The brief sense of relief would probably have disappeared quickly if he had said the next words. But she looks like she’s about to die soon. After swallowing the words that had risen to his throat, Eun-ho changed the subject.

“Don’t you have anything to say?”

“…….”

A deep gaze slowly lowered. No, to be exact, he began to scan Eun-ho from top to bottom. From his face to his neck, shoulders, forearms exposed under his short-sleeved T-shirt, and the hands placed on his thighs. Just as he was becoming embarrassed by the scars here and there, a subdued voice asked.

“Why is your arm hurt?”

Now that the tension was gone, he could tell. Not only his face but even his voice had changed a little. It had only been three years, but the overall tone had lowered calmly. Or maybe he just felt that way because it had been so long.

“Just from working.”

“What kind of work?”

“This and that…….”

He answered briefly, but Ji Hyeon’s gaze didn’t waver. His light-colored eyes were asking, “This and that what?”

“……I do construction work during the day and a night shift at night.”

He was finally making him say it. He tried to act nonchalant, but he couldn’t help feeling ashamed. It was a feeling he had whenever he saw Ji Hyeon, that he himself became too pathetic in front of him.

“I don’t usually get hurt. I just made a mistake today.”

Even after adding that as if it were nothing, Ji Hyeon didn’t say anything for a long time. He just fixed his gaze on Eun-ho’s arm, occasionally closing and opening his eyes slowly like a scene from a movie. His long eyelashes were so delicate that it felt unreal even though he was right in front of him.

“……I don’t have a Manager right now.”

So when Ji Hyeon said that, Eun-ho didn’t understand him for a moment. Even as his light hazel eyes looked at him steadily. The surroundings were all dark, but Ji Hyeon’s gaze was particularly bright and clear.

“Do you want to do it?”

He thought it was a suggestion. But the following words didn’t sound like a suggestion at all.

“No, you do it.”

“……How can I do that?”

What are you talking about? Instead of the outburst that almost came out, Eun-ho tried to give a sensible answer. A Manager? He knew he couldn’t do that.

“Why can’t you? Even mediocre guys do it well.”

He felt it from time to time, but Ji Hyeon often used excessively harsh expressions towards others. Just like now, when he described the Managers who had been by his side as mediocre guys.

“It’s not difficult. Just carry luggage, manage schedules, and drive when moving schedules.”

It didn’t seem like such a simple task at all, but that wasn’t the problem. Even if carrying luggage and managing schedules were okay, the “driving” part he said last.

“I don’t have a license.”

“Ah, what have you been doing without getting a license…….”

Ji Hyeon, who was speaking annoyedly, quickly swallowed his words. What has he been doing? He had just made him say what he had been doing. He must have known that too, so he clicked his tongue and added.

“……You can get a license quickly.”

“Do I have time to get a license?”

He didn’t even have enough time to sleep, so he couldn’t leisurely get a license. If he could, he would have increased the scope of his work a long time ago. But Ji Hyeon didn’t think so, and he replied without batting an eye.

“The company will pay for the academy. They’ll give you time off because it’s a necessary qualification for work. You’re smart, so you’ll learn quickly.”

“…….”

Usually…… Does the company do all that?

In fact, he knew how to drive. He had driven trucks and even motorcycles while doing all sorts of part-time jobs. Of course, it was illegal, and he didn’t plan to tell Ji Hyeon about it in the future.

“I have some free time these days because one project just ended…….”

“Ji Hyeon-ah.”

Eun-ho first calmly interrupted Ji Hyeon. If he left him alone, he would obviously come to a conclusion on his own. He was a guy with a hidden drive, so it was necessary to stop him at the right time.

“Thanks for the offer…….”

He already knew well enough what he meant by saying this. Looking at his bandaged arm, hearing about his past, and everything becoming unsatisfactory again like sometime in the past. He was weak-hearted in a way that didn’t suit him. It was obvious that he was showing some ridiculous sympathy.

“I need money right now.”

He was worried that it might sound like he was asking to borrow money. Eun-ho added without a pause.

“I don’t have time to adapt to a new place.”

Adapting to change was only possible when he had time. He didn’t know how much a Manager’s salary was, but the money Eun-ho earned by working hard wasn’t small either. The amount would decrease as his body became more comfortable, but that was a luxury for someone who needed to raise surgery costs right away.

“If I leave the construction site right now, I won’t even have a place to live…….”

“Is money the problem?”

The question that suddenly came back was enough to shut Eun-ho up. As Eun-ho, who had lost his words, looked at him, Ji Hyeon nodded and added.

“What else?”

“…….”

If he were to list the problems, it probably wouldn’t be enough even if he stayed up all night. That they had met after three years, that he didn’t want to owe him anything, that his pride was hurt, and that he wasn’t confident in doing the Manager’s job well. Of course, the most fundamental and significant reason among them was money.

“How much do you need?”

“What?”

Eun-ho asked back in a flash. Ji Hyeon spoke calmly without changing his expression.

“How much money do you need?”

Funnily enough, it felt like he could solve everything with just one word. As Eun-ho couldn’t bring himself to answer, Ji Hyeon changed the question without hesitation.

“Kwak Eun-ho, how much do you earn in a month?”

“Hey…….”

It was a question that had no delicacy whatsoever. Even though it was a fairly sensitive topic, he didn’t feel bad because Ji Hyeon seemed too nonchalant when asking. Yeah, he was always like this. It was at that moment that Eun-ho, who thought so, slowly told him the amount.

“……You earn that much?”

Ji Hyeon blinked with a startled look. He wasn’t surprised by the amount of money, but by the fact that he had earned that much with just a ‘part-time job’. It was the result of working day and night, but Eun-ho didn’t tell him that far.

Ji Hyeon closed his mouth for a moment and then spat out in a concise tone.

“I’ll match your annual salary.”

“Hey, why would you…….”

Was it necessary to go that far? He had said with his own mouth that it wasn’t a difficult task, but it was a losing business if he received that money. And even the words he added like a monologue.

“If you’re in a hurry…… I can give you an advance.”

“…….”

“Then there’s no problem now, right?”

Why was everything so easy for him? It was a problem that Eun-ho had been carrying with him all his life, but Ji Hyeon talked about it simply as if it were nothing. Rather than feeling hurt, it was so unreal that Eun-ho just stared blankly at Ji Hyeon’s face.

“Eun-ho-ya.”

“……Yeah.”

His voice lowered. Both Ji Hyeon and Eun-ho had serious expressions without any playfulness.

“You said you needed money.”

“…….”

“I need a Manager.”

How could the weight of those two words be so different? It was obvious which way the scale would tip if they were placed on it. Of course, if Ji Hyeon was going to put the two on the same line, he had no intention of nitpicking.

“All the Managers the company assigns keep running away, so the President has been accompanying me on my schedules for a while now.”

“……Was that person the President earlier?”

Eun-ho asked in shock. If he was the President and not the Manager, he shouldn’t have acted that way even more. He wondered what kind of guts he had, but at the same time, he was amazed that the head of the agency was taking care of someone like him.

“But that’s only for a day or two. Yesterday, the old man got so pissed off that he told me to walk if I was going to be like that…….”

“…….”

Should he praise Ji Hyeon for his temper, which made him confidently tell him to get off even after hearing those words, or should he complain about the President who told the actor to walk no matter what? He was worried that the agency might be mistreating him, but when he thought about the attitude he had shown earlier, it didn’t seem like it.

“So, do it.”

Ji Hyeon, who was speaking annoyedly, let out a small sigh. Judging from his slightly crumpled forehead, it was clear that he had tried to appease him gently but couldn’t control his anger. Nevertheless, when Eun-ho didn’t answer, his long eyes drooped slightly in the end.

“I’m really in a hurry.”

“…….”

Time had passed. The Ji Hyeon of the world, that rude guy, was making excuses for others.

He didn’t believe the words that he was in a hurry. If he was really in a hurry, he could have hired a more capable person for the same money. It wasn’t just anyone, it was the actor Ji Hyeon, so how difficult could it be to find a Manager?

So this was probably that picky guy’s own way of helping.

“……Is that so.”

“…….”

“Then I’ll be in your debt.”

It wasn’t the time to worry about pride or anything like that. Frankly, Eun-ho was in the mood to sit on the subway and beg right now. No matter how much he resolved to cheer up a little more, when he thought about the amount of money he had to raise in the future, it felt like someone was choking him.

That’s how Ji Hyeon called the President and took Eun-ho to the company. He must have been planning to sign a contract right away, but unfortunately, it was rejected because it was too late. Eun-ho also had to hand over his work anyway, but Ji Hyeon showed an unusually anxious attitude.

“Don’t you dare run away again.”

“When did I ever run away…….”

He didn’t go. He just didn’t come back. What that looked like, well, he didn’t know.

A month later, Eun-ho, who had quit all his part-time jobs, left the construction site where he had been living for several years and entered the NB Entertainment headquarters. It was thanks to CEO Byun, who had heard about Eun-ho’s situation and offered him the vacant janitor’s room to stay in for the time being. Ji Hyeon had told him to come to his house several times, but he couldn’t bring himself to owe him that much.

The Manager’s job was more difficult than he thought, and it suited him better than he thought. Appeasing Ji Hyeon’s whims was easier than breathing, but looking after the atmosphere of the filming site was a bit tricky. Fortunately, unlike the Managers of other rookie actors, Eun-ho didn’t have to cater to the staff much.

“You’ll get the same salary for the time being. You need hospital bills even after the surgery.”

His situation quickly improved, surprisingly so. Even after paying for the surgery in advance, he received his salary regularly, so Eun-ho saved that money and was able to prepare a small and precious place to live. It was a house he had chosen with the thought of living with Grandmother when she was discharged from the hospital.

“……That was Actor Ji’s money?”

How surprised he was when he found out that private funds were mixed in about a year later. Yeah, there’s no way a Manager’s salary could be that high. He was stupid for just receiving it without any suspicion.

But Eun-ho at that time was that young. He was so burdened with preparing various documents to be exempted from military service. At a time when others were pretending to be clumsy adults and gathering in groups of three or five, how would he know how much a Manager’s salary was?

Anyway, the surgery was successful, and Grandmother lived for two and a half more years. Although she was in the hospital until the moment she passed away, it was fortunate that he could be there for her death. At the funeral home, which was full of incense, the person who stayed by Eun-ho’s side throughout was none other than Ji Hyeon.

“……What about your schedule?”

What did he say when he finally asked after the funeral? He had frowned at Eun-ho, who was smoking a cigarette he had bought with his own money for the first time in his life, asking where he had learned to smoke. Then he took a cigarette and lit it with clumsy gestures and sucked on the end.

“Just cry.”

Smoke was mixed in with the cough that Ji Hyeon let out. He sucked on the filter once more, and this time he exhaled the hazy smoke a little more stably. The faintly scattered cigarette smoke felt more bitter than the incense he had smelled throughout the three-day funeral.

“It’s more embarrassing to pretend to be okay at times like this.”

“…….”

It wasn’t that he was pretending to be okay, but that he was okay. It was a death he had already prepared for, so there was no need to be sad about it. It was more embarrassing to shed tears than the poverty he was already used to. He was trying to hide the shameful things he didn’t want to show until the end.

“Ah…….”

But the tears that flowed out with the sigh were the sorrows he had endured for a long time. He bit his lip at the resentment that flooded in, and chewed on the belatedly rising emptiness with a shrill curse. Damn it. What did I do so wrong in this dog-like world? He had lived so fiercely, but why did it take away even the remaining hope, let alone a miracle?

“Sniff…….”

He couldn’t forget the hand that awkwardly patted his shoulder. Without comforting him indirectly, nor sympathizing with him. The sight of him putting a cigarette in his mouth, which he must have smoked for the first time in his life. With a tired face after staying up for three nights, gently closing his eyes and saying kind words that didn’t suit him.

“You’ve worked hard.”

Funnily enough, the emotion Eun-ho felt at that moment was realization. Ah, I actually liked him. That’s why I was so embarrassed to show my weak side. Because I wanted to contact him when I thought of him, so I deliberately buried him so that I couldn’t even take him out.

Who wouldn’t fall for him? People become the weakest when they are the most tired. The comfort that the meager word gave him was something he had never felt before.

That’s how unrequited love began. On that day when the ground under his feet, which he had barely maintained, collapsed, at that moment when even the hopes he had woven together flew into the sky. To the guy who nonchalantly grabbed Eun-ho, who was falling to the bottom, and willingly stepped into that sadness with him.

Four years had passed since then, but he couldn’t give up on his feelings for Ji Hyeon. Until he paid off all the money he had received in advance, lowered his ridiculously high annual salary to a reasonable level, and finally quit smoking again.

It wasn’t painful. It was a feeling that he had abandoned his expectations at the same time as he realized it, so it was too grand to attach the word ‘give up’. Aside from the obvious reasons, such as the fact that the other person was a man, or a long-time friend, he just, just didn’t have the conscience to wish for that far.

Didn’t he say earlier? Adapting to change was only possible when he had time. Eun-ho still lived in the villa he had prepared back then, Ji Hyeon still whined for him to stay over, and their relationship hadn’t changed even a little. Eun-ho wasn’t the kind of person who was challenging enough to shake off the stability he had barely regained.

“I don’t even want to date in the first place…….”

Muttering under his breath, Eun-ho cast his gaze far away. At the edge of the rooftop, standing before the railing, was Ji Hyeon, sweeping back his disheveled hair. A cigarette in one hand and a can of coffee in the other. Whoosh, the image of him exhaling smoke was seared into his mind.

What if he had been a lover, not a friend? Then their reunion after three years wouldn’t have been as romanticized as he remembered. He wouldn’t have been able to honestly tell him about his situation, show him his rock bottom, or gratefully accept his kindness. He would have surely disappeared from his sight again, putting on a brave face out of petty pride and a pathetic need to save face.

Liking someone didn’t necessarily have to lead to a relationship. Eun-ho had long since finished contemplating this fact. Not only was he uninterested in dating, but he also had no desire to have a person like Ji Hyeon all to himself. He wasn’t confident he could treat him well, and demanding the same feelings from him would be excessively greedy.

There was nothing more selfish than bestowing unwanted affection and expecting something in return. He wasn’t shameless enough to ask for the heart of the guy who had given him everything, calling him his one and only friend. He would have to be content with staying by his side as a friend, as a manager, maintaining a suitable distance.

“Ji Hyeon-ah.”

Screech, the rooftop door closed with the sound of scraping metal. Eun-ho adjusted his cap once as he walked toward where Ji Hyeon was standing. As if belatedly sensing his presence, Ji Hyeon turned to look at him with a languid expression.

“Took you a while.”

“Yeah, I was talking with CEO Byun for a bit.”

They had stopped by the company for the contract for the drama . If nothing else, the actor himself was essential this time, so Eun-ho had brought Ji Hyeon to see CEO Byun from early in the morning. He had repeatedly begged him to please be quiet today, but Ji Hyeon had ended up raising CEO Byun’s blood pressure before escaping to the rooftop first.

“Is the old man still throwing a fit?”

Ji Hyeon asked in a gentle voice, the corners of his lips curling up. CEO Byun was still fuming, yet the very person who had angered him had a refreshed look on his face. Well, it was just like the guy who, when CEO Byun expressed his concern that Shin Yi-chan was cast in , had recommended a hair loss shampoo, saying, ‘You lose your hair because you worry so much.’

“You should be nicer to the President.”

“Is it not enough that my face is pretty? Do my words have to be pretty too….”

Ji Hyeon blew smoke out toward the edge of the rooftop, barely listening to Eun-ho. It was an incredibly shameless retort, but it was true that there was nothing to refute it. As Eun-ho took a step closer to him, Ji Hyeon frowned and took the cigarette out of his mouth.

“I’m smoking.”

What a blunt way to tell him not to come closer because the smell would stick. If that was the case, he could have just put it out. But he didn’t have that much delicacy and was just waving his hand as if shooing away a fly. When Eun-ho approached without a care, he clicked his tongue and pressed the end of the cigarette against the railing, extinguishing it.

“You could’ve just kept smoking.”

“It’s fine.”

The extinguished butt was tossed into the ashtray next to them. While Ji Hyeon drank the rest of his coffee, Eun-ho leaned against the railing beside him. No, the moment he tried to lean, Ji Hyeon gasped and grabbed Eun-ho’s arm.

“Hey, where are you leaning? It’s filthy.”

“It’s fine, my clothes are black.”

“What are you talking about.”

As if he couldn’t give in this time, Ji Hyeon pulled Eun-ho and stood him in front of him. A faint smell of cigarettes wafted over with the gently blowing wind. Seeing his still-furrowed brow, Eun-ho casually spoke.

“Have you thought about quitting smoking?”

“Suddenly?”

“It’s bad for you.”

Ji Hyeon let out a chuckle as if he’d heard something obvious. Then he crushed the empty can and tossed it into the trash.

“Who do you think I learned this from.”

He wasn’t wrong. After his grandmother passed away, Ji Hyeon had always been by Eun-ho’s side when he started smoking again. He would snatch one of the cigarettes Eun-ho was smoking and dutifully keep him company.

“I quit, though.”

The problem, however, was that even after Eun-ho quit, Ji Hyeon remained a smoker. Thinking he was doing something terrible to an actor, Eun-ho had gritted his teeth and quit, but it was all for naught since Ji Hyeon himself didn’t change. The guy was in poor health and even taking medication, yet he was diligently picking up and doing everything bad for his body.

“See, Kwak Eun-ho, you’re surprisingly tough.”

It was neither an agreement nor a refusal. Instead of nagging him further, Eun-ho just kept his mouth shut. He knew that even though he said this, he would stay away from cigarettes for a while.

“Then again, you’re still my manager because you’re that tough.”

“Why, didn’t you once say any Tom, Dick, or Harry could do it just fine?”

He found out later, but that was complete bullshit. Major agencies meticulously checked resumes even when hiring a single manager. From what he’d heard, it was as difficult as getting into any major corporation. Normally, Eun-ho shouldn’t have even been able to set foot in NB Entertainment.

“You remember that?”

Ji Hyeon’s eyes widened as if asking why he was bringing up something from so long ago. Preposterously, he didn’t seem genuinely surprised. Seeing as he didn’t bother to correct his words, it was clear that no matter what specs they had, that’s how they must have looked in Ji Hyeon’s eyes.

“I remember most things that happened with you.”

“You do?”

Ji Hyeon asked back calmly, the corners of his lips tilting up. The way his eyes curved into thin crescents was utterly inscrutable.

“So when was our first meeting?”

“……”

In an instant, Eun-ho was at a loss for words and averted his gaze. He remembered that he recalled their first meeting being in their second year, while Ji Hyeon had said it was in their first. A sense of embarrassment crept in, and a sharp retort came out before he knew it.

“Stop acting like a lover who keeps track of anniversaries.”

“Says the one who’s never celebrated an anniversary.”

“……”

For the second time, Eun-ho was speechless and rubbed the back of his neck. Damn the passage of time. They knew far too much about each other. He’d received a few confessions, but they never led to a relationship, so there was no way he would have celebrated something like an anniversary.

“……You were in Class 9 in our first year, so where on earth did we run into each other.”

“You even remember I was in Class 9.”

This time, as if genuinely surprised, Ji Hyeon blinked slowly. See? I told you. As their eyes met with that meaning, he let out a light scoff.

“If I tell you, will you tell me who you like?”

“What are you talking about, again.”

Wasn’t this topic already over? But it seemed Ji Hyeon thought differently.

“I mean, come on. You’ll know my answer when you watch the broadcast, but you didn’t say in the interview. I feel like now’s my chance to hear it.”

He’s surprisingly eloquent today. Impressed, Eun-ho fell silent for a moment. As Ji Hyeon said, it was something he would find out in a week anyway, so there was no need to provoke him and create an awkward situation now. Ji Hyeon probably knew that this was a losing deal for Eun-ho to begin with.

“Why are you so curious about that, anyway.”

And yet, was he being this shameless out of mere curiosity, or was he being spiteful because of a lingering grudge? Either way, he was one persistent guy. He had no idea that his stomach twisted every time he got fixated on strange things like this.

“I gave up on it a long time ago anyway….”

At his sigh-laced voice, the smile vanished from Ji Hyeon’s face. It was a subtle change, but since he had been watching him, he saw it clearly. Wondering what was wrong, he studied his expression, and a low voice asked.

“You liked them for that long?”

“……”

Flinch. The corner of his eye twitched. Saying he gave up a long time ago meant he had liked them for a long time. It seemed he had deliberately noticed a fact that could have been overlooked.

“……Mm.”

Eun-ho tried his best to maintain a blank expression, feigning indifference. He thought that if he showed any agitation here, his other feelings might be revealed like a row of dominoes. His conscience pricked him, but there was nothing he could say with the person in question right in front of him.

“That’s enough, let’s go. How long are we going to stay here.”

Eun-ho started walking first, and Ji Hyeon followed him. He was a guy who, despite being insolent and persistent, wouldn’t dig deeper if you showed a truly troubled expression. Relieved by this fact, he pressed down the brim of his cap, but a voice tinged with annoyance came from behind.

“Why is that taking so long to go away.”

“What?”

When he turned around, Ji Hyeon’s gaze was on his wrist. Following his gaze, he saw a faint bruise, barely noticeable unless you looked closely.

“Isn’t it about time it disappeared?”

“Ah, this….”

It was the wrist Ji Hyeon had grabbed when he was having a panic attack. His grip must have been so strong that a dark bruise had formed right where he’d held him. It wasn’t like he had fair skin, and his recovery was usually good, so now only a yellowish outline was visible.

“It’s pretty much healed at this point.”

Come to think of it, a similar bruise had been left a long, long time ago. In front of the brightly lit electronic billboard, when the reunited Ji Hyeon had dragged Eun-ho away with a forceful grip. Ji Hyeon didn’t know, but back then too, he had a dark bruise on his arm for a while.

“Put some medicine on it, at least.”

“Now?”

Eun-ho let out a light laugh and pulled down his sleeve. If it had really hurt, he would have, but he just left it alone because it was bearable. No, actually, even if it had really hurt, he probably wouldn’t have been able to shake off Ji Hyeon, who was clinging to him as if his life depended on it.

“Just be a little gentler next time.”

“……”

He could remember small details like this, so why couldn’t he recall the day they first met? Eun-ho opened the rooftop door, mulling over the past that was absent from his memory.

Next Saturday, when ‘My MaeSo’ aired, all this curiosity would be resolved.