8 – Chapter 8

Hae-won had never maintained a steady relationship with anyone for more than half a year. After sleeping together a few times, the tension in the relationship would fade, and the longer they spent together, the more the fantasies and expectations he harbored would disappear, until he was no longer curious about the other person. The cycle that people usually call getting bored tended to come much faster for Hae-won than average.

That’s why he had only maintained light relationships—like with Kim Jae-min, who stayed briefly before returning to the U.S., or Senior Choi, who never got too close and remained on the other side of that line. He had never consistently seen one person.

Because of this, Hae-won had thought of himself as someone who easily grew tired and lacked patience. Except for the violin, he had never stuck with anything consistently, and even fleeting interests, especially in people, would bore him quickly.

The very idea of sustaining excitement or affection for months was impossible—except with Hyun Woo-jin. Perhaps because he was someone Hae-won couldn’t see often due to his busy schedule, or because he never offered the empty expressions of affection like “I like you” or “I love you” that Hae-won had heard so far, or because he didn’t try to win Hae-won’s favor with expensive gifts—whatever the reason, Hae-won treated Hyun Woo-jin like he was fishing for a fish that, no matter how much he tried to lure it, would only swim around the bait and never bite.

The fish he wanted to catch was beautiful in both shape and color, a mouthwatering prey that made him imagine how deliciously he could eat it—grilled, stir-fried, deep-fried, in every possible way.

Hae-won was aware of his growing impatience toward him. Hyun Woo-jin, who remained completely unshaken once he reached a certain point, was so different from himself that sometimes Hae-won wanted to grab him by the collar and demand he express exactly how much he liked him in precise numbers.

His phone rang, and he rummaged through his jacket pocket. It was Hyun Woo-jin.

“Hello?”

—Turn around.

Hae-won, who had just left the concert hall, turned around. Hyun Woo-jin’s car was there. Hae-won got into his car.

As usual, Hyun Woo-jin placed Hae-won’s violin in the back seat.

Hae-won had only known that the car was repaired after the contact accident with Lee Jin-young, and it wasn’t until recently that he realized Hyun Woo-jin had completely replaced it with a new one. It was the same color and model as before, just a facelift version. Once he knew, he noticed the interface seemed different from the previous one, and the exterior was subtly changed as well.

It was only after seeing the exact same car he used to drive on the street that Hae-won realized how the current car differed from the old one.

It felt strange every time he saw it. If it were Hae-won, he would have bought a completely different color and model. Because the same thing gets boring. If he was going to buy a new one anyway, he’d want to try something different for a new experience.

“If it were me, I would’ve changed to a different car.”

“It’s my car, so I’ll do as I please.”

“Aren’t you bored of the same thing?”

“I prefer comfort over convenience.”

He stepped on the accelerator. The car surged forward. Hae-won looked at him, wondering what he meant. Sensing his gaze while keeping his eyes on the road, Hyun Woo-jin spoke.

“If I change cars, it’ll take time to get used to the buttons and how things work, and I’d rather spend that time on something else. I like things as they were. That’s what’s comfortable.”

“No wonder you’re an ahjussi, an old man? It’s not that time is precious, it’s that you’re lazy.”

“I am an old man. When you were seventeen, fooling around with a piano instructor, I was rolling around in the military.”

“So when I was seventeen, Hyun Woo-jin was a soldier ahjussi.”

Hae-won realistically felt the six-year age gap between them. When he was in middle school second grade, Hyun Woo-jin was in college; when Hae-won was a high school senior, Hyun Woo-jin would have graduated; when Hae-won entered university, Hyun Woo-jin was at the judicial training institute. And when Hyun Woo-jin transferred to the Central District Prosecutors’ Office and got engaged, Hae-won was turning off the lights in the school practice room and having sex behind a grand piano with a teaching assistant whose name he couldn’t even remember. So he couldn’t blame him. At least, he had no right to.

“When did you graduate?”

“When did you enroll?”

After Hae-won told him his enrollment year, Hyun Woo-jin mentioned his graduation year. Because Hyun Woo-jin had served in the military, their timelines overlapped by a year. They had been in the same space without knowing of each other’s existence.

Hyun Woo-jin had walked where Hae-won walked, eaten the same menu where Hae-won ate lunch, been on the same sports field, the same grassy lawn—when Hae-won was in the practice room, Hyun Woo-jin was in the library. They were in the same space without knowing of each other’s existence.

Even though they had never seen each other, he suddenly felt a sense of pride. His time in school felt worthwhile. He wanted to see what Hyun Woo-jin looked like back then. If there had been a Seonbae like him, Hae-won would have attended school diligently. He would have never missed a drinking gathering, participated in clubs, not scoffed at useless things like festivals, taken on his own role, and worked incredibly hard to catch his eye.

“You really were a Seonbae.”

Imagining the fresh-faced him, Hae-won looked at Hyun Woo-jin, who was now far from that freshness. Dignity and sharp intelligence flowed from Hyun Woo-jin’s forehead down the bridge of his nose.

“There’s no way I wouldn’t have known. You didn’t come to school, did you?”

He reached out, touched Hae-won’s cheek, and then took his hand. Hae-won didn’t pull away like before; by now, it had become a habit to hold his hand whenever he got in the car. He smiled at Hyun Woo-jin, who enveloped his hand with a warm temperature.

The present was what mattered. Not every day needed to be a revolution. Hae-won, who once thought such things could never satisfy him, was even surprised at himself. With Hyun Woo-jin, even just holding hands was enough. Just holding hands made his heart flutter sufficiently.

“I skipped everything else, but I never skipped school. And I still go now.”

“Still?”

He asked, sounding puzzled. Hae-won replied casually.

“My professor gives me lessons.”

“A professor gives private lessons? Article 2 of the Elementary and Secondary Education Act, Article 2 of the Higher Education Act—faculty members affiliated with established schools are prohibited from private tutoring.”

He took it seriously. Hae-won let out a hollow laugh, exasperated that he was even citing laws.

“He doesn’t take money? He just looks after me.”

“Just looks after you?”

He turned to look at Hae-won with even more suspicious eyes.

“He’s been looking after me since before I entered Yewon. The violin dealer was also introduced by my professor. You know that’s not something just anyone can buy even if they have money, right?”

A famous instrument isn’t something just anyone can buy even with money. It’s introduced to qualified individuals for indefinite rental or purchase. If the professor hadn’t actively stepped in, Hae-won wouldn’t have been able to own such a fine instrument.

Though he never particularly praised or favored Hae-won, he was most worried that Hae-won might lose interest and quit music. He was a good person who recognized Hae-won’s talent and had looked after him all this time. Hyun Woo-jin didn’t seem to think so. The corner of his mouth twisted.

“It’s not a lesson; he probably just wants to watch you perform.”

“Only people like you would see it that way. He watches kids practice all day—what’s so special about me that he’d want to watch?”

He’s not someone with nothing to do, nor does he have a lot of time. Hyun Woo-jin, who thinks he’s the busiest person in the world, was talking nonsense.

“Whether it’s harassment or a lesson, if he subtly touches you here and there and you feel something’s off, doesn’t he treat you like you’re overly sensitive?”

“What are you talking about?”

“He might be satisfying his small desires while toying with you appropriately.”

“Why are you twisting it like that? Does everyone look like a criminal to you?”

If that were the case, Hae-won would have known. He had never seen the professor that way, nor had he ever felt anything like that.

Since performers typically have chronic pain in specific areas, if someone says they have a headache, he might massage their scalp, or if their shoulder hurts, he might press the sore spot like acupressure—but Hae-won had never received any lewd vibes.

Before he knew it, the streets had grown dark, and the streetlights came on. His car stopped in the parking lot of a Japanese restaurant. They got out of the car and went inside.

They were led to seats separated by walls. Hae-won sat cross-legged on a floor chair with a backrest. He didn’t sit cross-legged often, so it was uncomfortable. This was why he disliked floor-seating restaurants.

Hae-won stretched his legs out. The tips of his feet touched Hyun Woo-jin’s shins. While wiping his hands with a wet towel, Hyun Woo-jin glanced under the table, his eyes meeting Hae-won’s.

“Cross-legged is hard.”

He subtly placed the toes of his raised foot on Hyun Woo-jin’s ankle. As his toes dug under the hem of Hyun Woo-jin’s pants, the door slid open with a drrrr, and a uniformed employee entered.

While Hyun Woo-jin placed the order, Hae-won diligently leaned back, sticking his butt out, and dug under the hem of his pants. He went up to the shin and touched it. Even though Hyun Woo-jin wasn’t ordering anything funny, he smiled unnecessarily, making the employee’s face turn red. Once the employee left, he finally pushed Hae-won’s foot away. Hae-won straightened his posture.

“You can’t stay still for even a moment.”

“You think I don’t know when someone’s toying with me? That’s ridiculous. The professor isn’t like that.”

He brought up the topic from the car. Hyun Woo-jin drank some water. Hae-won met his gaze steadily.

“I know a similar bastard. If a student protests, he labels them as sensitive and weird. He claims the student wore provocative clothes and seduced him first, instantly turning the victim into the perpetrator. The student suffers from strange whispers around them and eventually drops out. In bad cases, they even end up in psychiatric treatment.”

“What a terrible person. So what happened to him?”

Given his profession, dealing only with criminals, his values were quite pessimistic and ruthless. Whether it was his original personality or because he was too immersed in his work, his judgment of people was cynical.

“Fortunately, there were many victims, and their statements were consistent, so he was indicted. It went to trial, but he was acquitted, and orders came from above not to appeal. He was a relative of a high-ranking person. That bastard returned to the school and did the same things even more cunningly.”

As a prosecutor, there’s nothing more disheartening than seeing someone you worked hard to indict get acquitted like that. Fortunately, he seemed accustomed to power interference that went beyond cause and logic. He wasn’t particularly disheartened or outraged.

As he calmly explained, their food arrived. A table neatly laid out with a main platter of assorted sashimi, soba, yukhoe, sushi, and abalone porridge.

He fell silent for a moment. The employee who brought the food bowed and left. He picked a piece of sashimi and placed it on Hae-won’s plate. As if to show him how to eat it best, he dipped it in an appropriate amount of wasabi and soy sauce. Hae-won put it in his mouth as instructed. The chewy texture and clean flavor filled his mouth.

“So you just let him go?”

“Indicting a crime as a crime was useless.”

“What does that mean? Not catching criminals but philosophizing?”

“I made sure no more orders would come down.”

It was a hard-to-understand statement. Staring blankly at him, Hae-won listened as he added.

“Making sure the high-ranking person can never interfere again is the fastest solution. I leaked it to tabloids first, nudged a journalist I knew to raise suspicions, and coincidentally, it was during nomination season, so he couldn’t get nominated. After that, I picked up the case I had set aside, and now that bastard is in prison.”

“What crime did the high-ranking person commit?”

“He interfered with my work.”

“…That’s a crime?”

“Abuse of authority.”

Was it okay to do that? It meant ruining someone else to catch someone he really wanted to catch. No, it meant removing an obstacle because someone was getting in the way of catching his target.

“He probably got seven years with aggravated punishment. It’s been three years since he started serving. He got sick and died. What was it called… Anyway, he caught something bad.”

He tilted his head as if he couldn’t even remember now and spoke indifferently.

“Karma.”

“What karma? That bastard was just unlucky. Of all people, that case was assigned to me.”

He shoved a piece of sashimi into his mouth and chewed. The muscles in his jaw moved as he chewed the flesh. He wasn’t the righteous type who couldn’t stand injustice. Seeing how he handled Hae-won’s father, he was flexible in the face of crime. Probably, he couldn’t tolerate his work being interfered with in that way.

Dealing with extraordinary people, Hae-won couldn’t follow his way of thinking with his own common sense. There had been several moments when he felt Hyun Woo-jin wasn’t ordinary, and this was one of them. Hae-won didn’t add anything more and picked up the sashimi Hyun Woo-jin placed on his plate with chopsticks to eat.

Under the dimly lit Han River bridge, there wasn’t a single ant in sight. Parking the car in the dark, Hyun Woo-jin suddenly reclined Hae-won’s seatback. Hae-won’s heart lurched. Leaning over to his side, he embraced the man’s shoulders as their lips met.

Hae-won closed his eyes, inhaling his breath, the body temperature and scent against his lips as much as possible. As Hyun Woo-jin’s tongue coiled and sucked as if swallowing, Hae-won rubbed his own against it. A soft moan escaped from between their pressed lips.

After kissing for a while, he pulled his lips away. Hae-won’s trembling tongue chased after him, licking his lower lip. Their eyes met in the darkness.

“Should I dig into that professor too?”

“…Stop talking nonsense.”

He spoke in a low tone, as if proposing some kind of deal. Hae-won’s brow furrowed involuntarily. He kissed him again. Their upper bodies tangled, rocking together.

He wrapped his entire hand around Hyun Woo-jin’s back, now jacketless. The curves of his back, wrapped in a dress shirt, were elastic. Hyun Woo-jin’s hand parted Hae-won’s knees, came in, stroked his thighs, and moved toward the center. Hae-won brought the hand that was caressing his back to the front. He touched Hyun Woo-jin’s lower part too.

Their breathing instantly grew heated. He struggled to contain the rapidly pouring breaths. Hyun Woo-jin pulled up Hae-won’s top. He pulled it up to his neck and pressed his lips against the exposed chest.

“Haa…”

Warm, heated lips rubbed against his nipple. Soon, the tip of his tongue toyed with it. Hae-won gripped Hyun Woo-jin’s hair tightly. Stroking the back of his head with one hand, he covered his own mouth with the other.

Even though they were alone in the car and it was a dim place with no sign of anyone, because of the nature of the location, Hae-won felt hesitant to let out moans.

After sucking on his chest for a while, Hyun Woo-jin raised his head. Sharp eyes gleamed beneath disheveled hair. A chill ran down Hae-won’s spine at the sight of his eyes. The eerily dark eyes felt like they were piercing his lungs. For some reason, whenever Hae-won looked into his eyes, he remembered the dark forest surrounding President Kim Jeong-geun’s Yangpyeong villa.

Hae-won brushed the corners of his eyes. As his hand touched them, Hyun Woo-jin’s eyes closed. He stroked the shape of his eyes and brushed his eyebrows. With his fingertips, he confirmed they were human eyes, not those of a beast lustfully eyeing its prey.

Hyun Woo-jin slowly opened his eyes.

“Use your hand.”

Hae-won unbuckled his buckle and lowered his pants zipper. He slid his hand inside. Hyun Woo-jin leaned his forehead against Hae-won’s. His slightly parted, reddened lips showed hot breaths escaping up close.

He stroked up the sticky flesh damp with moisture and heat. Hyun Woo-jin’s shaft hardened stubbornly. He pressed sharply at the sensitive boundary of pleasure. The foreheads that had been touching moved apart. Hae-won looked up at him dazedly, licking his wet lips with his tongue.

“Turn around.”

Hyun Woo-jin, whose endurance was being tested, demanded in a subdued voice. No, commanded. Hae-won turned his body, bracing himself on the seat with his knees and holding onto the seatback. Hyun Woo-jin pulled down his pants. Then, he tugged Hae-won’s underwear to the side.

It wasn’t yet weather for air conditioning, so the heat and moisture they emitted made the car stiflingly hot and humid. He pulled up Hae-won’s clothes, exposing his spine completely. It was an ambiguous state—not fully undressed, but not fully clothed either.

Hyun Woo-jin, who had been touching him from behind, wet him below with saliva and then thrust inside. His hot presence overwhelmed Hae-won.

“Ugh…!”

Hae-won bit his lip. Under the weight pressing down, his body felt like it would collapse. His arms, barely holding on, trembled violently. Hyun Woo-jin thrust inside urgently and forcefully. This seemed to be his preference now. Controlling the situation, even controlling his own sexual desire, he drove in with strong force. The disconnect between the Hyun Woo-jin who tightly held his hand while driving and the Hyun Woo-jin who grabbed his hair, pulled it, and forcefully slammed into him from below made Hae-won’s chest tremble weakly.

“Ah!”

His head was thrown back. His neck felt like it would snap. Hyun Woo-jin turned Hae-won’s head back and kissed him. His tongue entered the parted mouth, probing inside as if thrusting below. Hae-won parted his lips wider, wanting to rub against his tongue as much as possible.

His movements grew hotter and more violent. Pleasure like a blow to the lower body surged through him. His breathing grew ragged. The intense heat pouring over his bare back seemed to scatter his reason. A sharp moan escaped.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts, stop, stop it.

Hae-won pleaded. The sound of wet flesh slapping forcefully against flesh, as if tearing his underwear, was the only thing filling the car. Hyun Woo-jin leaned forward, covering Hae-won’s back. His firm chest and stomach stuck to the sweat-drenched back, undulating together with it. It felt like he was pulling away for a moment below, only to thrust back up.

“Ugh!”

Hae-won’s arms, which had been holding him up, gave way, and his upper body collapsed against the seat back. His heated cheek was pressed against the headrest. Hyun Woo-jin, who had propped up Hae-won’s waist, drove into him with even more violent and relentless force.

Hae-won screamed. Hyun Woo-jin stopped his thrusting, which had reached its peak, with a shudder and pulled out his penis, which was as hot as if seared by fire. Hae-won’s limbs trembled as if convulsing. He ejaculated onto Hae-won’s bare back and buttocks. The breath he had been holding also spilled out in that instant. The hot liquid flowed down his spine, soaking the cleft between his buttocks and trickling down the back of his thighs.

“Haa, haa…….”

Hae-won curled up as if dead. No strength remained in his exhausted arms. Hyun Woo-jin rolled down one of the windows. Unfamiliar air rushed in. Goosebumps rose on his bare skin.

As the cool breeze hit him, his mind gradually cleared. After tidying his own lower half, Hyun Woo-jin returned to the driver’s seat and sat down. Hae-won straightened his curled-up body. The hot liquid trickled slowly down his skin, tickling him.

“Tissue.”

Exhausted and worn out, his lips barely formed the word. Hyun Woo-jin opened the dashboard, took out a tissue, and wiped up the wetness from Hae-won’s back and between his buttocks. Hae-won, feeling strange, stood still on his knees, legs slightly parted.

Hyun Woo-jin deliberately took his time, wiping up between the cleft of his buttocks. Hae-won flinched and trembled. Hyun Woo-jin then swept the tissue up over his buttocks and lower back. Only then did Hae-won pull down his top, which had ridden up to his armpits, and straighten his sagging underwear. He pulled up his pants. After putting his clothes back on, he turned around and sat up, straightening the seatback.

For a fleeting moment, the hot afterglow that had swept through his entire body made his fingers tremble violently. He sat up straight and looked back at him. The breeze coming through the open window lessened Hyun Woo-jin’s sweat and heat. He sat there with an indifferent expression, as if nothing had just happened. Once the air had cleared, he closed the window. The sound of the river flowing and the wind vanished all at once, leaving a lull in the noise.

“I’ll take you home.”

“Are you going into the District Prosecutors’ Office today too?”

“I left in the middle of reviewing a case. I’m on duty there. I have to stay put until midnight.”

“Can I go out and have fun?”

He shifted gears. The car slid backward. After backing up a suitable distance, he braked to a stop, then shifted gears again and pulled forward. The Han River bridge where they had just shared intimacy grew distant in the rearview mirror.

“How far are you going to chase me to interfere? Do you even know how much time I waste because of you?”

It annoyed Hae-won when Hyun Woo-jin occasionally spoke like that. Hae-won glared at the infuriating man.

“Did I ask to meet?”

“Yeah, I asked to meet.”

Although Hae-won sometimes pestered him, today it was Hyun Woo-jin who had called first to suggest dinner, and after eating, it had become a natural sequence for their bodies to mingle, whether in the car or at the officetel.

It wasn’t something that could be finished in ten minutes flat; touching and feeling each other, time would slip away relentlessly, two hours, three hours passing in a flash, and sometimes even that felt insufficient. Seeing him cut it off and just leave didn’t feel great, but his complaints about not being able to do anything because of Hae-won annoyed him even more.

“Want to come hang out?”

“No thanks, Mister.”

To the man making an insincere offer, Hae-won replied coldly.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Don’t lie. Does it make sense to have no summer vacation?”

―Really, I don’t. It’s not a situation where I can take time off right now.

“You come here to sleep? What is my officetel, a hotel? Are you just coming to relieve your sexual urges?”

Hae-won couldn’t hold back and finally forced out the words he had been carefully restraining. That was his pattern. When Hae-won suggested a nice dinner out, he’d say he was too busy. When Hae-won suggested going on a trip since it was summer, he’d say he had no vacation. That busy man would only show up at Hae-won’s officetel after one or two in the morning, like a mouse sneaking in at night, and disappear by morning.

Because of that, Hae-won would deliberately stay awake late into the night just to see Hyun Woo-jin’s face one more time. But it wasn’t like Hyun Woo-jin came every night Hae-won was awake; he only came when he felt like it. Hae-won wasn’t a freelancer with free time anymore. As an orchestra member, he had to go to work, but staying up until dawn because of Hyun Woo-jin had become a habit, making waking up every morning an ordeal.

Even though Hae-won was going to such lengths, Hyun Woo-jin dismissed the words Hae-won had struggled to voice with another work excuse. They said there were about two thousand prosecutors at the Prosecutors’ Office, but he acted as if he was the only one doing all the work, keeping himself frantically busy.

―If you don’t relieve sexual urges or whatever, then just don’t. Why would I bother going all the way there if that was it? If I really just wanted to sleep, I wouldn’t go there. I’d go to my own officetel.

“Then I’ll go by myself.”

―Don’t go.

“…….”

Hyun Woo-jin gently dissuaded Hae-won, who was stubbornly insisting on going on a summer vacation even alone. He was the kind of man who made you want to hit him one moment and hug him the next, push him away and then grab him tight.

―Don’t go anywhere. Stay there.

“So I should wait quietly in bed in case Hyung feels like it? Don’t go anywhere, just stay cooped up at home day after day?”

―I told you it’s not because I want to do that. Isn’t it because I want to see you? Don’t go anywhere.

“…….”

―Once the planned investigation I’m working on now is over, I’ll really make time then.

“When? This coming winter?”

―…….

Seeing that he couldn’t answer meant he couldn’t promise that either. Damn it, Hae-won muttered inwardly and half gave up on going anywhere with him.

It wasn’t a nasty mindset of ‘I can’t go, so you shouldn’t go either,’ and he didn’t want to complain to someone who said he couldn’t bear it if Hae-won went far away because he’d miss him.

Hae-won’s sharply soaring emotions subsided, and before he knew it, his heart softened. Hyun Woo-jin was a thousand-year-old fox in that regard. Hae-won had no way of dealing with him. Even when his feelings were hurt, if Hyun Woo-jin said a few words like this, his mood would inexplicably improve.

It wasn’t like he was trying hard to please people either; he just did whatever he wanted from his own perspective, yet he possessed a negotiating skill that ultimately made Hae-won, who would be miserable being called the second most selfish person in the world, lose.

Hae-won had been determined to snap back no matter what sweet talk came his way, but he melted with just a few words and smiled a smile that wasn’t unpleasant.

“Let’s really go to a ski resort in winter. A person needs to rest while working. Hyung, do you know how to ski?”

―How would someone who’s afraid of hurting their hands and doesn’t even drive know how to ski?

“You can wear gloves.”

Hae-won imagined him skiing. The image of Hyun Woo-jin gliding down a white snowy slope made Hae-won feel proud just by imagining it.

“……Have you eaten dinner?”

―A sandwich.

“Is that enough? You’ll ruin your health like that.”

―I have to go into a meeting. Let’s hang up.

“Okay……, hey.”

Before Hae-won could even open his mouth to say something, the call ended. Now he wanted to hit him again. He made people feel tossed around and chaotic. Hae-won quietly looked down at the heartlessly disconnected phone screen.

He might come today, so should I buy something? Hyun Woo-jin was the one who usually cooked, but he didn’t have time to even stock Hae-won’s refrigerator with ingredients. Hae-won grabbed his wallet and phone and got up.

On his way back from working out, he stopped by a nearby supermarket and bought various things; the bag was quite heavy. Hae-won, holding the noticeably heavy bags in both hands, got off the elevator and was about to start walking when he froze in place.

A scene of tension, where he could almost hear a gulp, was unfolding before his eyes. Standing before Hyun Woo-jin, who held a briefcase in one hand and had the other shoved into his suit pants pocket, was Kim Jae-min, who should have been in the US.

“I believe you’re referring to the previous resident. They moved out quite some time ago.”

“Ah, I see. My apologies. Then.”

It seemed Kim Jae-min had come looking for him, and Hyun Woo-jin was lying, saying he had moved out. Their conversation came through quite clearly. Kim Jae-min, who had nodded a greeting to Hyun Woo-jin with his eyes, turned to leave. Hae-won, still holding the supermarket bags, tried to turn his head to avoid him but flinched.

“Hae-won-ah.”

“…….”

Kim Jae-min’s face brightened, and he approached Hae-won, who was standing with his back to the closed elevator. Hyun Woo-jin also looked back at Hae-won. He just stared silently.

More than any threat or warning, that steady, expressionless gaze was more burdensome to Hae-won.

“They said you moved out? What’s going on?”

“……What? When you left someone’s officetel in such a mess, didn’t that mean you didn’t want to see them again?”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“You don’t know what I’m talking about, so now……, forget it. Go. I have no intention of seeing that side again.”

“I made a mistake back then. I didn’t mean to come find you so forcefully.”

“I’m seeing someone now.”

“…….”

Kim Jae-min, who had been obliviously just happy to see him, went ‘Ah,’ and looked back. His eyes met Hyun Woo-jin’s. Hyun Woo-jin, who had been calmly watching them, unlocked the door lock and went inside.

“That person said you moved out. Did I make a mistake here?”

His expression turned awkward. He pointlessly looked at the spot where Hyun Woo-jin, who had already gone inside the officetel, had been standing, then turned an apologetic gaze toward Hae-won.

Hae-won also looked at the door of his own officetel where Hyun Woo-jin had entered. This was awkward. Hyun Woo-jin had a tendency not to treat men Hae-won had been with in the past as human.

“How many times do I have to tell you that showing up like this without contact is impolite?”

A crude irritation rose toward Kim Jae-min, who had put him in a difficult position.

“I sent several emails, but you didn’t check any of them. No matter how many times I called, you didn’t answer. I came about work. A good piece came up, and I sent a demo, but I need to be able to reach you.”

“I told you I’m not doing work in that field anymore. Just go.”

“At least listen to it. It’s a piece that would suit you well.”

“…….”

“I came about work. Don’t misunderstand.”

When Hae-won just stared without saying anything, Kim Jae-min sighed.

“There’s no other meaning. I had some things to handle with a record company, so while I was briefly back in Korea, I came because I couldn’t reach you at all. What I sent by email is an album to work on this winter. If you’re interested, contact me. You know my number, right?”

“Just go.”

“Stubborn as ever……. But at least give it a listen.”

“I said I’m not doing that work.”

He felt disgusted by Kim Jae-min, who had made his officetel a mess, shamelessly came looking for him, and was now offering work. What kind of person was this?

Kim Jae-min shook his head at Hae-won, who was just staring with hostile, childish eyes, and with a hurt, cold expression, got on the elevator and disappeared.

Even after Kim Jae-min left, Hae-won stood motionless in that spot for a while before trudging forward.

Hyun Woo-jin was sitting at the table, reviewing documents. Hae-won’s heartbeat became irregular. He had to quietly gauge the mood of the man who was just working. He restrained his lips, which were about to spill messy excuses. Hae-won hadn’t done anything wrong. He had never dreamed that Kim Jae-min, who had left his officetel in such a mess, would reappear, and he certainly hadn’t expected him to run into Hyun Woo-jin of all people.

“I went to work out and stopped by the supermarket on the way, so I’m a bit late.”

“…….”

Hyun Woo-jin was the one who had come without saying he was coming, yet Hae-won was explaining why he was late. After roughly putting away the groceries he bought, he looked at Hyun Woo-jin, who was sitting with his back turned.

“……He said he came to offer a piece. Since I wasn’t answering calls or reading emails, he came to talk about that.”

“Can you get me some coffee?”

“Huh? Okay.”

Hae-won quickly made coffee. He poured it into a mug and respectfully brought it to him. Hyun Woo-jin took the coffee Hae-won handed him without taking his eyes off the documents. Hae-won, who had been standing quietly, didn’t understand why he had to feel awkward and gauge his mood, so he relaxed his expression and stood with his weight on one leg.

It wasn’t like Hyun Woo-jin had been chaste until he met Hae-won; he had even been engaged. If anyone had deeper relationships, it was Hyun Woo-jin, not Hae-won. Most of Hae-won’s were one-time things. Hyun Woo-jin was the first person he had been with long enough for seasons to change.

He might just be sitting silently because he wasn’t particularly interested, but Hae-won was bothered by his silence.

“Ah, play something.”

He, who had been sipping coffee and just reading documents, suddenly looked up as if remembering something and spoke to Hae-won.

“Play what?”

“Play the violin for me.”

“……Out of the blue?”

“I suddenly want to hear it. Hae-won playing.”

“What do you want to hear?”

He had never bluntly asked Hae-won to play the violin before, but Hyun Woo-jin liked Hae-won’s playing, liked seeing Hae-won play. When Hae-won was practicing, he would deliberately move quietly and stay silent so as not to disturb him.

This time too, Hae-won didn’t refuse and opened the case, taking out the violin and bow. He tucked the body between his chin and shoulder, tuned it, and asked Hyun Woo-jin again what piece he wanted to hear.

“That thing before, what was it. Paganini’s Cantabile, right?”

Paganini’s Cantabile in D major, Op. 17, MS 109 is a piece that doesn’t require flashy technique but has a calm and beautiful melody. Once before, when Hae-won was playing it lightly to warm up, Hyun Woo-jin had asked for the title. Contrary to his appearance, Hyun Woo-jin liked delicate, static pieces like a warm spring breeze.

Hae-won played the violin for him. Like the title ‘Cantabile’ (song-like), a soft melody, like singing, rippled through the dry air. After finishing Paganini, he moved on to Beethoven this time, and after Beethoven, as if putting a coin in a music box and pressing the button for the song he wanted to hear, he played pieces by Sarasate in succession.

Once he had played enough to satisfy him, his neck was stiff and his shoulders and arms ached as if he had participated in a difficult audition. When Hae-won rubbed his neck, Hyun Woo-jin asked.

“Does something hurt?”

“My neck is stiff from being nervous watching Hyung’s mood.”

“Why are you watching my mood? Did you do something wrong?”

“No……, just. You were being quiet, so it bothered me.”

Because he was acting as if he knew nothing about Kim Jae-min, Hae-won trailed off. Hyun Woo-jin’s fingers approached Hae-won, who was tapping his tense neck with his hand, and without hesitation slipped into his hair and touched his scalp.

Unlike Hae-won’s own long, slender hands, Hyun Woo-jin’s hands were long, elegant, and gave an intellectual feel, with bones protruding at each thick knuckle. They were the hands of an adult man Hae-won had admired since childhood.

His fingers often made Hae-won fall into lewd fantasies, like a pubescent boy who had just opened his eyes to sex. Fantasies of those fingers touching him, of that thick finger being inserted like a penis. He pressed firmly on Hae-won’s scalp and massaged his neck as if giving acupressure.

His hand moved along the line of Hae-won’s shoulder. Compared to his fingers, which felt rough due to the thick knuckles, his palm was as soft as a baby deer’s skin. Hyun Woo-jin’s hand gently gripped Hae-won’s stiffened neck. A languid moan escaped naturally at the strength of his touch.

“Does it feel looser?”

“Feels good.”

The tightly knotted muscles loosened under his touch. After kneading Hae-won’s shoulders and neck for a while, he removed his hands and spoke.

“I’m a bit hungry. Can you make me something?”

“Me?”

Hae-won didn’t know how to cook. He bought side dishes from side dish shops, and if that was too much trouble, he made do with instant food. The only things he knew how to make were ramen, which he didn’t particularly enjoy eating, and rice in an electric rice cooker. Despite having ten years of experience living alone, Hae-won was so bad at cooking that aside from fried eggs, he had never really made anything to eat in the kitchen.

It wasn’t even a demand, but facing Hyun Woo-jin’s unwavering, steady gaze, Hae-won inadvertently nodded.

Standing in front of the kitchen, Hae-won glanced back at him, feeling his gaze on his back.

“Go sit down. Are you watching me because you’re afraid I’ll put poison in or something?”

“I’m just watching. It’s the first time Moon Hae-won is cooking for me. I’m touched.”

“That kind of emotion can be expressed just fine after eating. Because you won’t be moved after eating. You know I can’t cook, right?”

“I eat anything well. Except garbage.”

“……”

Under Hyeon Woo-jin’s silent pressure, Hae-won stared at him intently before searching for simple recipes on his phone. He found an ultra-simple fried rice recipe. It required rice, kimchi, ham, potatoes, garlic, onion, pepper, and gochujang, and he happened to have all the ingredients ready. It wasn’t that cooking was difficult—he just had no interest in it. True to its “ultra-simple” claim, Hae-won whipped up the fried rice in no time.

“Thanks. I’ll enjoy it.”

Hyeon Woo-jin ate his meal quietly, without any comment on whether it was tasty or not. Hae-won had been prepared to rattle off a list of excuses if Hyeon Woo-jin said anything, but since he didn’t mention Kim Jae-min at all, it only made Hae-won more anxious and on edge. He had no idea what Hyeon Woo-jin was scheming. Because Hyeon Woo-jin deliberately said nothing, Hae-won sat restlessly, shaking his leg.

“Why are you shaking your leg like that?”

“Who, me?”

At Hyeon Woo-jin’s pointed remark, Hae-won looked down and saw his own leg unconsciously jiggling away.

“Why is it doing this?”

Still shaking his leg, Hae-won asked Hyeon Woo-jin why it was acting up, ignoring the brain signal telling it to stop.

“Why are you acting like you’ve committed a crime?”

“Who said I committed a crime? I’ve never committed a crime.”

“Suspects under interrogation usually shake their legs like that. Especially the ones with guts the size of beans.”

“……”

Even as Hae-won glared at him with his hackles raised, Hyeon Woo-jin finished his meal unfazed and took a sip of water with a clean motion. He picked up the empty bowl and stood up. Walking to the kitchen, he washed the dishes and set them aside. After tidying up neatly, he returned to the table, picked up the documents he had set aside earlier, and held them in his hand.

“If you’ve done something wrong, tell me. I’ll listen.”

Hyeon Woo-jin spoke without looking up from the documents.

“I haven’t done anything wrong. That person earlier came to request a performance. He came in person because I kept ignoring his calls.”

“Didn’t you say none of them were serious? There was one who even knew where you lived?”

Hyeon Woo-jin asked clearly, pretending to focus solely on the documents. From his odd behavior today and his current demeanor, Hae-won could tell that Hyeon Woo-jin’s attention had been entirely fixated on Kim Jae-min since seeing him, making Hae-won acutely aware of him.

“……I didn’t tell him. He probably found out from the address on the contract when we signed it.”

“So, you’re saying you weren’t sleeping together?”

He asked without even glancing in Hae-won’s direction, reading the documents. Hae-won lowered his eyes, even though Hyeon Woo-jin wasn’t looking.

“It’s not that we weren’t……”

“Double negatives aren’t good language habits. Say it clearly: yes or no.”

“Don’t lecture me. Are you the teacher and I the student?”

Already tense, whenever Hyeon Woo-jin set the atmosphere like a prosecutor in an interrogation room, pressing him with a low, measured tone, Hae-won’s heart would race and his breathing would grow shallow. He hated how stiff he became because of it, so he reacted sharply. Like now.

His quiet intensity was sometimes appealing, but at other times, it was eerily unsettling. Only then did Hyeon Woo-jin look up from the documents and turn to Hae-won.

“Hyung, didn’t you have people you were seeing? You did. Weren’t any of them serious?”

“No one ever came to my place.”

“What am I supposed to do when they keep coming even after I tell them not to, even when I say I don’t want to? Should I go beat them to a pulp? Then I’d go to jail for assault, and you’d have to visit me in prison. You know we can’t have sex during visitation, right?”

“Is he a composer?”

“I don’t know.”

“What does he do?”

“He’s probably a composer.”

“He was good-looking.”

“……”

Kim Jae-min wasn’t the type to be overlooked anywhere, but he was on a different level from Hyeon Woo-jin, making comparison impossible. Stunned, Hae-won stared at him in disbelief, and Hyeon Woo-jin stood up. Walking over to the bed where Hae-won was sitting, he muttered.

“A good-looking man who comes to your place.”

“……Who are you talking about now?”

“Move.”

“……”

“Move to my officetel building.”

“Don’t talk nonsense. I don’t have the money for that, and I can’t just dispose of this place as I please. I need Father’s permission.”

“I’ll take care of that, so you just move your body.”

“I can’t sleep without this bed.”

“You slept just fine.”

“You’re the one who barged in here. I haven’t even contacted him since meeting you.”

Just standing there silently looking down at him made Hae-won feel uncomfortable even breathing. It was as if Hyeon Woo-jin held a tightly coiled whip in his hand, and Hae-won had to face him with bated breath, tense with the uncertainty of when it might strike.

It would be better if he just expressed his emotions as he felt them, but perhaps because he only dealt with criminals, Hyeon Woo-jin wasn’t the type to show displeasure in a typical way. When necessary, he suppressed his dissatisfaction and anger without showing any sign of it. He’d toss it at Hae-won’s feet as if it were up to Hae-won when it would explode, making him uneasy. It was another side of Hyeon Woo-jin that Hae-won didn’t particularly like. Hae-won preferred the Hyeon Woo-jin who seemed indifferent but was affectionate.

“Since I barged in here, move. So we don’t run into each other in the future.”

“He won’t come now. Even if he does, it has nothing to do with me.”

“Give me that man’s name and phone number.”

Hyeon Woo-jin took out his phone from his pocket.

“……What?”

“Name and phone number.”

“Why?”

“So I can have a little chat with him.”

“What are you going to say?”

“None of your business.”

“……Do you realize how irrational you’re being right now?”

“Irrational?”

He, who had been preparing to take notes on his phone, rolled his eyes to look at Hae-won. At that menacing glance, Hae-won’s spine twitched.

“We never had any relationship to begin with, and now you want to call someone I just had a fling with and say what? I told him I was seeing someone. He’s not the type to meddle or act clingy when I say I’m seeing someone.”

Though it was unexpected that he’d made a mess of his officetel, if he were the type to be easily swayed and dragged around by emotions, he wouldn’t have gotten involved with Kim Jae-min in the first place.

“Are you saying I’m being clingy right now?”

“Not clingy, irrational.”

“……”

Closing his mouth and pondering deeply, he seemed to realize his actions were indeed irrational and put his phone back in his pocket. He had been poised to block a perverted sex offender approaching a minor.

“Sigh, fine. Got it.”

Hyeon Woo-jin let out a sigh. He had no intention of doing so, but if he ever cheated and got caught, it felt like he’d be boarding a direct train to the afterlife. His jealousy was so fierce it didn’t even seem like jealousy. It would be better if he threw a tantrum and said he was upset. Dealing with Hyeon Woo-jin, who quietly approached and pressured him as if choking him from behind, made Hae-won feel sorry for the suspects who had to face him.

“Take off your clothes.”

“……What now?”

“I’m the one you’re seeing now, so I have the right to ask that.”

“What right? The right to strip me?”

“No, the right to demand you take off your clothes only in front of me. So, take them off.”

“If you want to order someone around, get a dog. Don’t see anyone.”

As Hae-won tried to get up and avoid him, Hyeon Woo-jin’s hand grabbed his forearm. Hae-won made a displeased face.

“I’m in a really bad mood right now, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“Why are you asking me? You’d know best yourself.”

His eyes said that, as if he’d never felt such an emotion in his life and was just acting on every thought that came to mind. Asking for coffee, asking him to play the violin, asking him to cook, asking for Kim Jae-min’s phone number, and now, still unresolved, demanding he prove he was his by taking off his clothes.

“What do you call this nasty feeling?”

“……Are you an idiot, Hyung? It’s jealousy.”

“Jealousy?”

“Yeah, jealousy. Like how I hated the people you used to see. Of course, you’d hate it too.”

Hae-won was jealous of his deceased fiancée. That was indeed a nasty feeling. Hyeon Woo-jin must be feeling very nasty right now too.

“I didn’t expect to see the fingers and toes with my own eyes.”

“I’m sorry about that. I didn’t know he’d come looking for me here again.”

“……Jealousy?”

This is jealousy……? He examined his emotions and actions with a face that showed little understanding, as if pondering them.

“Anyway, if there’s a possibility of it happening again in the future, I want to block it in advance. Whether you move or give a clearer warning to that side.”

“How am I supposed to block it? Are you going to put a chastity belt on me? Talk sense.”

“Chastity belt?”

His eyes lit up with interest at the thought of a chastity belt. As if saying it was a good idea, Hae-won punched his arm.

“I have a lot to question too. Arguing is pointless, so I’m holding back.”

As if he had any right to talk. Meeting Tae-shin, going in and out of hotels with women, and never once saying the common words “I like you” or “I love you” to me.

Begging for such words felt like begging for affection, so Hae-won never showed it outwardly, but he had already felt hurt by him more than once or twice.

Hyeon Woo-jin wrapped an arm around Hae-won’s waist and pulled him close. Their faces drew near enough for their noses to touch. Hae-won quietly took him in.

“……Saying he’s good-looking, I’d be upset if I heard that from you, Hyung.”

“Isn’t that face usually called good-looking?”

“I guess my standards are high. Or maybe they’ve gotten higher.”

His face felt newly remarkable.

“Is wondering how far that bastard touched you also jealousy?”

“It’s jealousy.”

“Did you kiss? Did he touch your chest? Did he suck your nipples?”

“That’s not jealousy, that’s being gross.”

He was tired of the specific questions. Hae-won frowned.

“Tell me. I won’t get angry.”

He put on an affectionate expression. He forced his stiffened lips into a smile. He didn’t seem to realize that was even scarier. This side of him thrilled Hae-won like a thriller movie, making his chest tingle. It would be a lie to say he didn’t like it. It was good that Hyeon Woo-jin had this kind of personality. He was irresistibly drawn in. To the point of losing control. Hae-won wanted to kiss him quickly.

“I don’t remember.”

“What about below? Did he suck your hole?”

“Down there, never……. That never happened.”

“You said you don’t remember. Don’t lie.”

“……I don’t remember.”

Embracing his shoulders, which trembled with jealousy, Hae-won pressed his lips to his, which were muttering gross words. He turned his head away and kept asking.

“You left that place alone? The first place you’d want to put your tongue, and you just left it?”

“I don’t remember.”

When Hae-won pressed his lips again and licked, Hyeon Woo-jin turned his head the other way, avoiding Hae-won’s lips.

“Move your lips.”

“Stop it.”

“No can do. You lied, so you have to be punished. You have to be disciplined.”

Hae-won stared at him with anticipation. He enjoyed being disciplined by Hyeon Woo-jin.

“……How are you going to punish me?”

“Very scarily. So you won’t even remember that bastard.”

“Looks like I’ll be spending this summer vacation at home. Being disciplined by Hyeon Woo-jin.”

When Hae-won tilted his face to press his lips again, Hyeon Woo-jin pulled his head back this time.

“Don’t try anything. I’m not over my anger yet.”

“Why are you grumbling like an old man? Shut up.”

“How old is that bastard?”

“Probably older than you, Hyung.”

“……How much older?”

“Ugh, stop it already.”

Hae-won grabbed the back of Hyeon Woo-jin’s head and forced their lips together, telling him to really stop now.

∞ ∞ ∞

Their relationship progressed smoothly. They spent the summer together. Hae-won coaxed the busy Hyeon Woo-jin into spending a day tanning and playing in the water at a hotel outdoor pool. Except for the occasional times when Hyeon Woo-jin became absurdly menacing, things were generally smooth.

As late autumn approached, rehearsals for the overseas performance scheduled since last year began. It was a music festival hosted by China’s state-run broadcasting company. Top-tier orchestras from Asia were participating in large numbers, with collaborations planned featuring pop singers, vocalists, and Chinese pianists and violinists.

The conductor, who had been active in his home country all summer and had recently returned, seemed to have caught a cold from the suddenly chilly Seoul weather after the rain. He handed the symphony conducting notes to the concertmaster and left early.

They decided to rehearse by section without a full orchestra run-through. One member of the second violins kept making mistakes alone, causing the rehearsal to be repeatedly interrupted.

“Moon Hae-won, could you teach Se-yeon?”

“Huh? Me?”

Why? Hae-won asked with his eyes. That was a task for the principal or assistant principal, not for him, a member of the second violins no different from an assistant in the first violins. Though he was older, in terms of joining date, she was his seonbae.

“I’m saying this because your playing has improved.”

“Right. Has something happened lately? Like the secret to suddenly playing well or the reason you’re working so hard. You’ve changed.”

The second violin assistant principal, while passing off the bothersome task, praised him and asked. The woman, now in the awkward position of having to be taught by a fellow member, sat with an uncomfortable expression.

“I just want to finish quickly and go home.”

So, he coldly said he couldn’t go easy and gathered his sheet music. Those who wanted to practice individually could stay, and those who were done could leave early.

“You’re gritting your teeth and doing this because you want to go home quickly? That’s a great motto.”

“Can I go now?”

“Don’t be like that, just teach her a little. If you just show her how it’s done, Se-yeon will catch on quickly.”

The assistant principal gave Hae-won the instruction and left. Sighing, Hae-won, now burdened with the annoying task, unfolded his sheet music on the stand again.

“Which part is giving you trouble?”

Hae-won asked her. Hyeon Woo-jin had testified that during regular performances, she glared at him when he stumbled and turned two pages at once. The woman who had glared at him hesitated before turning the pages and pointed to the troublesome measures with her bow tip. Hae-won placed the violin on his shoulder and turned the screw to tighten the bow.

“I have something urgent, so I need to go. I’ll show you just once.”

When he said he’d show her just once, she quickly took out her phone to record a video. Hae-won frowned, and she hurriedly explained.

“I won’t film your face. Just the violin and bowing, right?”

Impressed by her enthusiastic effort to try something, he let her do as she pleased and focused on drawing the bow.

He had intended to show her just once, but somehow ended up watching her practice and listing her lacking techniques. Disregarding the sincerity of someone who took the time to teach her, she coldly picked up her sheet music and left, saying she’d ask the first violin principal to teach her instead.

It was good he had deliberately spoken rudely. Hae-won packed up his violin and left the practice room. Lately, rehearsals ended late every day, so even if he left as soon as possible, it was often past eight by the time he reached his officetel. It was a relief he was busy.

Hyeon Woo-jin seemed busy lately too, as there had been no contact for days. Hae-won resisted the urge to contact him first about ten times. On the eleventh time he felt like it, he didn’t hold back and called, like now. He stared at the phone that didn’t answer, then ended the call that only rang.

He showered and had a simple dinner. He made the fried rice he’d mastered thanks to Hyeon Woo-jin.

After dinner, he watched a movie for the first time in a while. The advantage of his officetel was its powerful audio and the ability to turn the volume up to the limit. While chewing on snacks and watching a war movie, the sounds of artillery and ear-splitting gunfire ceased, and the sound of someone banging on the officetel door came right on cue.

Hae-won paused the movie with the remote and approached the entrance. He looked outside through the peephole on the door. No one should be visiting his officetel. Hyeon Woo-jin, who came and went as he pleased, knew the door lock code. Even when Hae-won changed it on a whim, he’d figure it out like a ghost and unlock it.

Outside stood a man Hae-won didn’t know. He stared at the man’s face, which looked familiar from somewhere, when the man banged on the door again. He picked up the intercom.

“Who is it?”

—Ugh, why did it take so long when you’re inside?

He let out a tired sigh and adjusted the bulky figure hanging on his shoulder. What appeared on the intercom screen was Hyeon Woo-jin, with his arm around the man’s shoulder.

Hae-won quickly opened the door. He realized he’d seen the man before—it was the one who had answered Hyeon Woo-jin’s call when Woo-jin deliberately caused a rear-end collision and had brought over a shirt and car. The man was staggering as he supported the drunken, swaying Woo-jin.

“Sorry for the late hour. Seonbae said to come here. May I come in?”

“Ah, yes. Please come in.”

He stepped inside and set Woo-jin down in the entrance. Completely drunk, Woo-jin slumped onto the floor.

“I’ll be going then. Excuse me. Seonbae, I’ll head out now.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

Woo-jin replied without even lifting his head. The man who had delivered Woo-jin to Hae-won’s officetel turned away, looking relieved. Hae-won stood in the entrance, staring blankly down at him. It was his first time seeing Woo-jin drunk.

“How much did you drink?”

“A few bomb shots.”

“You weren’t answering your calls. Were you drinking?”

“The Head of department offered it—how could I refuse?”

It seemed even drinking bomb shots was part of the job. Hae-won let out a long sigh. He took off Woo-jin’s shoes, grabbed him by the side, and helped him up. Dragging his completely drunk body to the bed was a struggle. He barely managed to pull the staggering man over and lay him down on the bed. Hae-won was sweating from the exertion in that short moment.

“Whew……”

Woo-jin tried to sweep back his disheveled hair and sit up, but gave up and lay back down. Hae-won felt a little proud that Woo-jin had come to him instead of going to his own officetel. Maybe his intoxicated mind had gone numb, and he’d gone to the person he most wanted to see. Did he think of me when he was drunk? Hae-won watched him, fumbling under the influence.

“I’m going to China next week.”

“Huh……? What?”

“I’m going to China for a performance.”

“Ahh.”

Woo-jin frowned as if fighting off drowsiness. Hae-won took off his jacket, then his socks, pants, and shirt. He pulled him up further so his head rested on the pillow, leaving him only in his underwear.

“Want something to drink? Are you thirsty?”

“Anything.”

Hae-won brought an ion drink from the fridge, opened it, and held it out, but Woo-jin was swaying so much he couldn’t even take it. Hae-won wrapped an arm around his shoulders, lifted him, and brought the drink to his lips. As the liquid moistened his dry tongue and went down, he seemed to regain a bit of consciousness and took the bottle himself, gulping it down. Hae-won wiped the drink that had spilled down Woo-jin’s chin and cheek with a tissue.

He laid him back down properly and covered him with the blanket. Hae-won sat by the bedside, looking down at Woo-jin. He brushed back his messy hair and touched his cheek. He rubbed his thumb over Woo-jin’s soft lips, pushing them to the side. Woo-jin opened his eyes slightly and looked up at him.

“Hae-won.”

“……Yeah.”

“Wake me at six.”

“I wake up at eight—how am I supposed to wake you at six? Wake yourself up.”

“Six……, o’clock.”

Hae-won leaned down and pressed his lips to Woo-jin’s forehead. He kept wanting to press his lips against him, to suck on them. He kissed his brow, his cheek, and his lips, which still smelled strongly of alcohol. Woo-jin wasn’t fully asleep but not fully conscious either, breathing heavily as his breath grew ragged. Hae-won asked the not-quite-sober man:

“Who am I?”

“……Moon Hae-won.”

“Do you like me?”

“…….”

“Do you like me? I’m asking if you like me.”

“……Yeah.”

It didn’t seem like he was hesitating or thinking—more like it took a while for the question to register in his brain.

“Was there someone else you liked before me?”

“……No.”

Even with his brain melted from alcohol, he was lying. Hae-won pinched Woo-jin’s cheek like he often did to him and lifted his drooping head. Woo-jin struggled to lift his heavy eyelids and met his gaze. Shadows deepened under his eyes.

“Why are you lying?”

“Don’t know. Haa……”

Letting out a deep sigh, Woo-jin brushed Hae-won’s hand away as if annoyed.

Now, while he was completely drunk, was the chance. If he interrogated him now, he could uncover his hidden feelings—the longing for his dead fiancée. He probably wouldn’t remember what Hae-won said, and even if he did, he wouldn’t be able to question Hae-won about today’s events. Cowardly, Hae-won created an escape route and asked:

“So that’s how you live?”

“…….”

Faced with a simple, specific question, Woo-jin frowned. He looked like he’d heard an unpleasant noise.

“Feeling sorry for someone, sleeping with them once, going to a hotel with some random woman, coming here and sleeping with me. Is that how you live, just satisfying your urges?”

“……What are you talking about.”

“Because it hurts that your fiancée died?”

“…….”

He looked at Hae-won through narrowed eyes as if he were saying something incomprehensible. His focus was off. Hae-won couldn’t find anything in his eyes. No longing, no memories, no hidden feelings. Perhaps tired of looking, Woo-jin soon closed his eyes.

“Thirsty.”

A rough, cracked voice spoke. Hae-won brought water and, like before, wrapped his arms around Woo-jin’s shoulders, lifted him, and tilted the bottle to his lips. His Adam’s apple bobbed slowly as he swallowed. After emptying about half the bottle, he flopped back onto the pillow.

“Do you think I’ll see you as some pitiful man with a tragic backstory because of that?”

“Shut up.”

He muttered as if half-asleep. Twisting his upper body to the side, he fumbled up Hae-won’s thigh where he sat by the bed, found his hand, and took it. Then, pressing his cheek against Hae-won’s palm, he fell asleep.

Since Woo-jin said he had to wake up at six, Hae-won set an alarm for six in the morning. Curled up beside him, Hae-won admired Woo-jin’s face before falling asleep.

In the early morning, he vaguely heard Woo-jin wake to the alarm, shower, and leave. Before going out, Woo-jin pressed his lips to Hae-won’s sleeping cheek and mumbled something—whether it was “thanks for letting me sleep” or “thanks for waking me up” wasn’t clear, but it ended with “thank you” either way.

Half-asleep, Hae-won nodded, and with the pleasant touch of a hand stroking the back of his head, he smiled and let go of consciousness.

∞ ∞ ∞

Holding a handout with his nearly finalized overseas schedule and reminders, Hae-won climbed the concert hall stairs. He took out his ringing phone from his pocket. Seeing Woo-jin’s name, his face brightened automatically without him realizing.

“Yeah, Woo-jin Hyung.”

―Did you have lunch?

“Just ate, heading up to the practice room now. How about you?”

―Had it with the Head of department.

“Must’ve been awful.”

They rarely talked about work, but from fragmented conversations, Hae-won knew Woo-jin didn’t particularly like his superior, the Head of department. He also learned that Woo-jin usually ate lunch around the legal district—ordinary meals like galbitang, kalguksu, or kimchi jjigae—and disliked socializing, so he kept dinners simple.

He’d learned quite a bit more about him. There were case handling statistics that ranked prosecutors by performance, and Woo-jin’s record was quite good, so the Head of department couldn’t treat him carelessly. His office manager and investigators were exceptionally capable.

The man who had brought the drunk Woo-jin to Hae-won’s officetel and had immediately bought a shirt and driven over when called was Woo-jin’s junior prosecutor, and he was fiercely loyal to him. Woo-jin’s parents were doctors.

When he drank, he drank bomb shots. He’d transferred from the Criminal Division to the Special Investigation Division about three years ago. The Special Investigation Division handled only large-scale cases and major figures. His immediate goal was to earn a “star,” and that star meant becoming Prosecutor General.

His goal wasn’t some far-fetched dream but quite specific and realistic.

Since he often pulled all-nighters, he exercised for an hour a day to maintain stamina, usually after work before dinner—something Hae-won had learned just a few days ago.

When Hae-won heard him panting over the phone and sharply said, “Don’t answer when you’re doing that with someone else, you bastard,” Woo-jin burst out laughing and said he was on a treadmill.

The more Hae-won learned about him, the more a foolish sense of superiority grew. Compared to the dead fiancée in Woo-jin’s heart, Hae-won knew more about Woo-jin and was picturing a longer future together.

“Are you coming over tonight?”

―Can’t today.

“I bought a ton of groceries this morning. Thought you were coming, you bastard.”

Unable to hide his disappointment, Hae-won’s complaints slipped out as curses.

―You just bought groceries and expect me to cook? What kind of tantrum is that? I’ll come tomorrow.

If curses sounded like tantrums to him, he wasn’t in his right mind either.

“Why can’t you come? Just come for dinner, then.”

―I’m on duty.

“You said that last time too. Is duty usually that frequent?”

―Covering for someone.

“Are you a pushover?”

He chuckled.

―A hubae is a pushover to a seonbae.

“Then Prosecutor Jung must be a pushover too.”

Prosecutor Jung was his junior prosecutor—someone who would roll if told to roll, stand if told to stand, pretend to die if told to die.

―Right. Prosecutor Jung is my pushover, and I’m someone else’s pushover.

“Can’t you come after duty?”

Hae-won stopped on the stair landing, thumping his forehead against the wall. It had already been days since they’d seen each other. He missed him, wanted to touch him, wanted to feel his scent and warmth.

―Hae-won.

“Yeah……”

―I can’t work because of you. Cut me some slack.

A voice as rough, honest, and unadorned as a Guarneri’s tone. Hae-won felt intoxicated by that voice.

“No. Why should I cut you slack? Quit being a prosecutor. Let’s just play and live off me.”

―Call me before bed. We’ll talk then.

“……Okay.”

Since he really liked Woo-jin’s phone voice, Hae-won pretended to give in and accepted his suggestion. They promised to talk later that evening and hung up.

There were other things he knew. Even when Hae-won frequently said “I like you” during their intimate moments disguised as moans, Woo-jin had never once said anything embarrassing like “I like you” back. Hae-won still didn’t know if he just couldn’t say those words or if he didn’t feel that way.

Sometimes he seemed to understand, other times not. Woo-jin was a strange, fascinating being who constantly piqued Hae-won’s curiosity.

Absentmindedly thumping his head against the wall, Hae-won turned and was startled. He pressed a hand to his racing heart.

“Ah, you scared me.”

Seo Okhwa and the concertmaster were standing on the stair landing, watching him. Hae-won bowed slightly to the concertmaster, then to Seo Okhwa.

“Who is it? Who were you talking to?”

Seo Okhwa, wearing an eye-stingingly white pantsuit, widened her eyes and asked.

“Who do you think?”

“A lover? A girlfriend?”

“What are you doing here, ma’am?”

When Hae-won called her “ma’am,” the concertmaster flinched. Seo Okhwa, unfazed, linked arms with Hae-won and led him down the stairs in the direction they’d been heading.

“I came to discuss the orchestra’s trip to China.”

“Why are you involved, ma’am? What are you meddling for?”

“To arrange a private jet.”

See, this is the kind of person I am, she shrugged. It wasn’t surprising at all.

“But do I really have to go to China?”

Hae-won stopped halfway down the stairs and asked Seo Okhwa, and the concertmaster standing behind her.

“Why?”

Seo Okhwa asked, tugging his arm to keep moving. Hae-won trudged down the stairs with her.

“Would it even be noticeable if one person dropped out? Can’t I just not go? Do I have to go?”

“Why? It’ll be good for a change of pace. We’re taking a private jet.”

“I really don’t want to go.”

“Is it because of the lover you were talking to? Afraid you won’t see them?”

Seo Okhwa asked with a knowing, annoying smile. Since it was true, Hae-won nodded. Seo Okhwa pinched his cheek as if she found him adorable. When he recoiled in disgust, she cleared her throat and glanced at the concertmaster.

“It’s that exciting time. Who is it? What do they do?”

“A prosecutor.”

“What? A prosecutor?”

She stopped walking. Oops, Hae-won thought. Her dead daughter had been seeing a prosecutor too, and in fact, that prosecutor was this prosecutor, and the prosecutor he was seeing was the one who had been engaged to her dead daughter, and both were prosecutors, and awkwardly, the same person. A thoughtful silence passed. Seo Okhwa asked brightly again.

“Did Woo-jin introduce you?”

“No. A friend…… a friend introduced us.”

It was as if Tae-shin had brought him to Hae-won. Tae-shin had introduced Hyeon Woo-jin to him. Hae-won met Woo-jin because of Lee Tae-shin. He fell for the man Tae-shin had a crush on. If Tae-shin had seen how much Hae-won had avoided and tried to prevent this from happening, he would understand his feelings. It really was unavoidable.

“What a shame. I have a daughter, you know, and the age difference isn’t much.”

“A daughter?”

Hae-won recalled Seo Okhwa crying her eyes out over her daughter in heaven because of something he’d said before. As if knowing what he was thinking, she said:

“Ha-young has a younger sister. Our second.”

“Ahh, I see.”

Feeling like he kept touching her painful memories, Hae-won decided to keep quiet, but Seo Okhwa clapped her hands as if she’d just had a great idea.

“Come over for dinner tonight. To our house.”

“I’d rather not.”

“Don’t be like that. Woo-jin said he’s coming too. Wouldn’t it be nice to have dinner together?”

“……Prosecutor Hyeon Woo-jin?”

He’d said he was on duty today. Covering for his seonbae, so he couldn’t come tonight, and they’d see each other tomorrow. Instead, he’d sweetly coaxed Hae-won, who’d whined and pleaded that he missed him, saying they’d talk before bed.

“Yes, Prosecutor Hyeon. Woo-jin said you’re his school seonbae, right? You sometimes have dinner together, and since he’s free today, we scheduled it for tonight.”

If it was just dinner, why not say so? It wasn’t like Hae-won would eat him alive or stop him from going—it was strange that he’d lied. Whatever the reason, Hae-won wanted to mess with him for lying.

“Is it okay for me to join? Are you trying to embarrass me like last time? In front of everyone?”

“Hey, I’m cool. I’ve already forgotten about that. And you embarrassed me too, remember?”

Who are you to talk? she pretended to punch him.

“I’ll send a car, so take that. Practice ends on time today, right?”

Seo Okhwa asked the concertmaster, and he politely confirmed.

“It’d be even better if you played the violin. My husband loves the violin. Dinner, wine, and a performance—that would be truly fantastic.”

A look of genuine happiness appeared on her face.

“I’ll do that if I feel like it when the time comes.”

“Okay. I won’t pressure you. Do as you please. See you tonight?”

Hae-won nodded. Seo Okhwa waved and left the lobby with the assistant he’d seen earlier. Watching her retreating figure, Hae-won turned and met the concertmaster’s eyes. He approached suspiciously.

“Mr. Hae-won, how do you know Director Seo?”

“I wouldn’t say we’re particularly close. But do I really have to go to China?”

“No, Mr. Hae-won, you know Director Seo Okhwa?”

“Know…… yes, I know her, but not well. That’s not the point—do I really have to go to China? I’m not feeling well—can’t I skip it?”

“You know what kind of person Director Seo Okhwa is, right? She’s the chairman’s wife of Han-gyeong Group. My god, did you see honey dripping from the eyes of that haughty chairman’s wife? What, surely it’s not that kind of, you know, relationship?”

Instead of answering his question, the concertmaster got excited, his words tangling, and shook his head, asking:

“……I have a lover, you know. And am I crazy? With a ma’am like that?”

“Then what’s your relationship?”

“Ugh, seriously. We’re just acquaintances.”

Brushing past him as he imagined something gross and dirty, Hae-won turned away first.

He arrived at her house in a car driven by Seo Okhwa’s assistant. The mansion in central Seoul overlooking the Han River had three burly security personnel controlling access at the entrance.

Though the overwhelming scent of wealth filled his vision, Hae-won’s mind was elsewhere, wondering why Woo-jin had lied to him.

Was it because he was afraid Hae-won would pry?

I searched my memory to see if I had ever bothered him. If he said he had plans, I would just think, “Oh, okay,” but I never pried, doubted, or questioned who he was meeting, where, why, or when.

“Please get out.”

Before I knew it, his accompanying secretary had opened the door and was waiting. Hae-won got out of the car and slung his violin over his shoulder. He declined the offer to carry it for him and followed the secretary. After passing through the garden and entering the entrance, a woman in a neat skirt suit greeted him.

“Welcome. I heard from Madam. This way.”

She didn’t look like a housekeeper but more like a manager overseeing household affairs. She gestured to take the violin from Hae-won’s shoulder, but he declined again.

Hae-won walked down the corridor toward the living room. Just walking around this house would probably count as exercise.

The interior, which seemed to reflect Seo Okhwa’s taste, was a flower garden to the point of being overwhelming to the eyes. Amidst the already dizzying floral decorations and patterns, fresh flowers were placed in every available space. It wasn’t a living room but more like a flower shop or a botanical garden.

“There are so many flowers.”

Muttering as he followed the employee, she smiled and blandly agreed.

Yeah, someone in this world has to consume flowers for the floriculture industry to survive. Having such pointless thoughts, Hae-won finally arrived at the living room. Seo Okhwa and President Kim Jeong-geun were sitting there drinking tea.

President Kim Jeong-geun was reading a newspaper with his glasses perched on the tip of his nose, and Seo Okhwa had her eyes closed, swaying her head from side to side while listening to classical music playing in the living room. It was Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto. If their eldest daughter hadn’t turned out that way, they would have been a truly harmonious and beautiful family. And they would have gained a son-in-law named Hyun Woo-jin.

Although he had come with the intention of getting back at Hyun Woo-jin, who had lied to him, Hae-won was suddenly overwhelmed by the regret that he shouldn’t have come.

Wanting to mess with Hyun Woo-jin was a one-dimensional excuse. He missed him and was curious. About the family of the woman he was engaged to, who promised to take responsibility until the end, and about her traces.

“Madam, Moon Hae-won has arrived.”

“Huh? Oh, you’re here? Sit here.”

Seo Okhwa opened her eyes wide and made Hae-won sit next to her. President Kim Jeong-geun looked up and gazed at him.

“Welcome.”

“Hello.”

“I heard you made up with my wife? Good job. Just know that the most troublesome person to have as an enemy on this planet is our Madam Seo.”

“See, you always have to say something like that.”

Seo Okhwa raised her hand as if to hit President Kim Jeong-geun’s arm, who had bowed his head back to the newspaper, revealing her true nature, but then she noticed Hae-won staring blankly and smiled artificially.

“We’ll start dinner when Prosecutor Hyun and our So-young arrive. Please prepare.”

Seo Okhwa said to the employee.

He was incredibly eager to see what expression Hyun Woo-jin would make when he walked through that flower garden and saw him. More than wondering why he had lied, he was more excited about how he would react upon seeing him, to the point of feeling nervous.

Hyun Woo-jin was acting up without even knowing he was in the palm of Hae-won’s hand. He probably never dreamed that a single misspoken word would make Seo Okhwa and Hae-won become close—no, form a bond beyond mere closeness.

Taking him to meet Henry Chang on the day of the performance was Hyun Woo-jin’s mistake. Using this opportunity, he would fix his bad habit of lying so he could never lie again.

“I’m here.”

“So-young is here? So-young, come here. There’s someone I want to introduce.”

It seemed the second daughter, who had become the only child after her older sister passed and the sole heir of Han-gyeong Group, had arrived. Hae-won started to rise from the sofa but froze in place.

“…….”

“Hae-won, hey, Hae-won?”

Seo Okhwa’s sharp hand slapped Hae-won’s arm. Only then did Hae-won snap out of it and shake his head. Then he looked at the woman before him.

Unless he was mistaken, she was the woman sitting next to Hyun Woo-jin at the hotel on the day he first saw him. The smooth calves of the woman sitting with her legs crossed were glossy and shiny, and her toenails sparkled with carefully done pedicure. The short skirt, the smooth legs from hair removal, the slender ankles wrapped in strap sandals, and the Satan Red pedicure at the tips were quite sensual.

Hae-won had made eye contact with her several times, and while she clung to Hyun Woo-jin’s arm and acted coy, she had also given him looks of interest. She kept whispering something to Hyun Woo-jin, though he couldn’t remember what she said, but anyway, they had made eye contact several times while riding the elevator up to the fortieth floor of the hotel together. She was definitely the woman with Hyun Woo-jin that day.

What on earth is going on?

Why is this woman here…….

She didn’t seem to recognize Hae-won. Although she was dressed in innocent clothes and had a hairstyle that couldn’t be associated with the short skirt and sensual pedicure from that time, she—the woman standing before his eyes—was definitely the one who had been next to Hyun Woo-jin that day.

Hae-won barely regained his composure and opened his mouth.

“Ah, hello. I’m Moon Hae-won.”

“Hello. I’m Kim So-young. Who are you?”

Kim So-young greeted him and asked Seo Okhwa.

“Our orchestra’s violinist. He’s Prosecutor Hyun’s junior from school.”

“Ahh, I see. Nice to meet you. I’ll go change my clothes.”

She seemed to remember nothing. It had already been over a year. Hae-won wasn’t particularly good at remembering people, but he could recall intensely memorable events quite vividly, and Hyun Woo-jin and her that day had remained in his memory as impressive figures. She, who didn’t remember, gave him a greeting without much interest and turned away.

Though he couldn’t remember the details clearly, he could distinctly recall the strap sandals she was wearing, the Satan Red on her toenails, and the calves that were hairless and glossy under the lights. And he also remembered what she called Hyun Woo-jin. She called him Woo-jin.

He wanted to believe it was just a resemblance, that he was mistaken, so he looked again, but it was definitely her. His heart pounded violently. Whether it was pounding from sheer astonishment, or because he couldn’t make sense of what was happening, or because his heart, already aware of the absurd situation, was frantically releasing blood to calm his brain—he didn’t know, but his heart rate sped up. Hae-won was out of his mind.

Hyun Woo-jin, are you crazy? Are you out of your mind?

His mind, barely grasping the situation, turned cold.

This crazy bastard…….

Biting his lip hard, he felt the flesh tear and tasted blood. Hae-won kept swallowing the blood and saliva.

The Hyun Woo-jin he believed he knew was not the Hyun Woo-jon Moon Hae-won knew. Hae-won had misunderstood him.

“Isn’t our daughter pretty? She’s in graduate school. Preparing her doctoral dissertation.”

“Yes, she’s pretty. She takes after you, ma’am.”

Hae-won’s lips, forming a smile, twitched slightly. Hae-won waited only for Hyun Woo-jin to appear quickly, for that bastard to walk through that flower path and appear before his eyes right away.

Kim So-young, who had changed into comfortable clothes and come down, misunderstood Hae-won’s intense gaze and awkwardly rolled her eyes. As expected, she didn’t remember meeting him at the hotel.

Hyun Woo-jin, whom Hae-won had been anxiously waiting for, arrived. As he entered, he gave his habitual greeting.

“I’m here.”

“Oh, Prosecutor Hyun, welcome.”

“Oppa is here?”

Back then, she had definitely called him Woo-jin. She naturally greeted Hyun Woo-jin, calling him Oppa. As he turned and walked inward, he spotted Hae-won.

Hae-won made eye contact with him. Hyun Woo-jin seemed to pause his steps briefly but then moved as if nothing was wrong.

He sat next to Kim So-young. Hae-won swallowed the spreading taste of blood along with saliva and bowed his head to him.

“Hello, Seonbae.”

Hae-won slowly raised his head and stared intently into Hyun Woo-jin’s eyes, which were clearly out of his mind.

“……What’s going on?”

“Madam invited me to dinner.”

Hae-won answered his question. Seo Okhwa chimed in.

“I met him at the orchestra today to discuss the charter flight issue. Since he’s Prosecutor Hyun’s junior, I thought it’d be fine to have dinner together, so I invited him. It’s okay, right?”

“Ah, I see. That was good of you.”

He nodded to Seo Okhwa as if approving. His gaze as he looked back at Hae-won was rigidly fixed.

They seemed unaware that Hae-won had seen them at the hotel. Hyun Woo-jin only remembered the hotel pool; he didn’t know that Hae-won had been sitting behind them in the executive lounge that day. He probably didn’t remember riding the elevator up to the fortieth floor together either.

Facing him, the sediment of emotions he had barely suppressed stirred up chaotically. His fingertips turned cold. Hae-won bit hard into the flesh inside his mouth where blood was seeping out. The taste of blood grew stronger.

That fucking bastard…….

A baseless rage surged.

“Dinner is ready. Let’s eat.”

At the employee’s words, they moved to the dining room.

The two, who had done that at the hotel and acted like lovers, treated each other distantly, as if they were just an older brother and younger sister who occasionally contacted each other. It seemed that outside, when meeting secretly, they became so-and-so, but here they were still just Oppa and Dongsaeng.

Of course, that would be the case.

Hyun Woo-jin was Kim So-young’s older sister’s fiancé. They were to become brother-in-law and sister-in-law, and even now, they seemed to have that relationship. Whether Hyun Woo-jin was out of his mind, Kim So-young was out of her mind, or both were crazy, it was clear that it wasn’t a normal relationship.

Hae-won sat in the seat indicated by the employee. Korean food was laid out on the table.

“Korean food is okay, right? When my husband returns from a business trip, he must have Korean food.”

“Yes, I like it.”

“Hae-won, eat a lot, okay?”

“Thank you.”

Seo Okhwa, who seemed to project her deceased daughter onto Hae-won, spoke with genuine affection. Kim So-young sat uncomfortably, as if finding her mother strange. Hae-won ignored Hyun Woo-jin’s consistent gaze fixed on his face and picked up his utensils.

Through the natural conversation during the meal, he learned that Kim So-young was a graduate student majoring in business administration and was in a power struggle with her supervising professor while preparing her doctoral dissertation. Her hair tied up in a single bundle gave a distinctly different image from when he saw her at the hotel, but it was elegant and beautiful.

By this point, Hae-won was confused about what kind of person Hyun Woo-jin even was. He even doubted if he was really a prosecutor. He thought he couldn’t forget his deceased fiancée. He thought that after losing his loved one and closing off his heart, unable to settle with anyone and only satisfying physiological needs, he had met him—a very convenient partner for resolving sexual desires—and Hae-won believed that he liked him beyond just that kind of relationship. And Hae-won liked him too. What was truly maddening was that he liked him.

What enveloped his entire body wasn’t a sense of betrayal but disappointment. At the very least, the Hyun Woo-jin he knew couldn’t do such a thing.

He couldn’t remember when or how the meal ended or what conversations were exchanged; he remembered Seo Okhwa asking if he was feeling unwell somewhere, but the rest was hazy.

When he came to his senses, Hae-won was already sitting in Hyun Woo-jin’s car. He vaguely recalled saying he should get going, that Hyun Woo-jin said he had something to discuss with his junior and would leave first, and Hae-won being dragged out of that house.

“What’s going on?”

“…….”

“Hae-won.”

“……Huh?”

“I’m asking what’s going on.”

Hyun Woo-jin asked. Hae-won turned his head and looked at him driving.

His appearance was the Hyun Woo-jin he knew. The face he had gazed at endlessly, not knowing the night was passing. He was also the man sneaking around hotels with his deceased fiancée’s younger sister. Swallowing dry saliva hurt as if his throat was injured.

Perhaps the dinner he forced himself to eat was heavy on his stomach; his chest felt tight, as if he would go crazy. Lowering the car window to let in the cold wind, Hyun Woo-jin rolled the window back up, quieting the car interior. Suppressing what was rising, Hae-won asked calmly.

“What about you? Didn’t you say you were on duty today?”

“Suddenly, Mother contacted me and asked to have dinner, and I couldn’t refuse, so I stopped by briefly. I need to go to the District Prosecutors’ Office.”

It’s a lie.

When he met Seo Okhwa during the day, their dinner plans were already set, and Hyun Woo-jin was supposed to be there. Hyun Woo-jin’s lies were so smooth that Hae-won was confused, wondering if he was mistaken.

“I also met Madam by chance at the practice room today. She asked me to have dinner together, and since they’re rich, I followed along thinking we’d eat something delicious.”

A mechanical answer flowed out. He glanced at him as if stealing a look. He had no idea what he was thinking, what filled that mind now.

“……Madam?”

Hyun Woo-jin asked back as if the term was quite bothersome. Hae-won tapped his tight chest with his fist.

Seeing Kim So-young, his heart, which had dropped to the floor, now beat vividly.

Was he always this foolish? Or was it because it was Hyun Woo-jin that it was hard to accept, and his subconscious was refusing to think and draw conclusions?

The answer was obvious, but unable to hastily make a judgment about it, Hae-won’s mind was confused, wavering back and forth like a child’s. He wanted to kill Hyun Woo-jin.

“Madam told me to call her comfortably. To call her whatever I want.”

“When did you become so close? Did something happen?”

A bad premonition rose like a shudder.

Even if he witnessed him entering a hotel with someone else right now, he probably wouldn’t be this bewildered. It was just that it wasn’t just anyone else; it was Kim Ha-young’s sister. He thought he missed his departed fiancée and couldn’t forget her. It was completely different from what he had inferred from the surface, an event that completely overturned expectations.

Hae-won, intoxicated by the staggering emotions toward him, saw only what he wanted to see and heard only what he wanted to hear. He thought he was a man with a story, with painful wounds. That’s why he felt more affection and more pain. Knowing that he wouldn’t be in his heart made it even more heartbreaking.

But that wasn’t it. Hyun Woo-jin was mocking his deceased fiancée. His fiancée wasn’t even in his thoughts. Senior Choi said that there was no ambition left for him to achieve at Han-gyeong Group, but he was wrong. Kim So-young remained at Han-gyeong Group.

He felt absurd, then empty, then the barely suppressed anger surged, and the emotional fluctuations of betrayal making his teeth chatter repeated every second.

He said his heart was important. He said to start when he developed the integrity to want to take off his clothes only in front of him—whether it was a relationship or just sex—that treating him like just anyone and dealing with him casually wasn’t allowed. He said he had to give his entire heart, and because he said that, Hae-won truly gave him his heart. In the actions of someone who valued the heart, there was no human decency or common sense.

“That’s just how it turned out. Why, does it bother you? That I call President Kim Jeong-geun’s wife Madam?”

Hae-won asked him. Hyun Woo-jin, who had been watching the road ahead and adjusting the distance to the car in front, turned his eyes to look at Hae-won. Their eyes met. Everything about him was filled with lies. Even this trivial, petty thing was a lie, so anything beyond that, anything after that, didn’t need verification.

He was a liar. His core betrayed his appearance; nothing about him was genuine. His words saying he missed him were also lies. His words that this life is only once, that even if we reincarnate, we can’t meet, that there is no next life—all were lies. Sweet talk. The calm words telling him not to go far because he missed him, even the crude jealousy—all were lies.

“What on earth did you do how to make Mother dote on you like that?”

“Curious?”

“I am. That day, you two were in an uproar. You were looking for a dog or a cow, and Mother was furious, shouting at the top of her lungs.”

He said, recalling the incident at the French restaurant last winter where he took him to meet Henry Chang.

“Hyun Woo-jin.”

“Yeah?”

“You……, from now on, answer truthfully to what I say. Don’t lie.”

“I can tolerate the informal speech as cute, but there’s a limit even to that.”

He hated it immensely when Hae-won, six years younger, called him “you.” His face, no longer taking it as a joke, instantly hardened. A slight frown formed, and a sharp, pressuring gaze appeared.

“You.”

“Hae-won.”

“……Hyun Woo-jin, you.”

Hae-won couldn’t get the words out.

I need to ask if it’s true that you were fooling around in a hotel with your dead fiancée’s younger sister, but the words wouldn’t come out. I needed to vocalize, pull words from my mouth, combine them into a coherent sentence, and ask properly, but I couldn’t bring myself to speak. Hae-won moistened his parched lips with his tongue.

Only then did he, who had finally noticed something was off about Hae-won, stop the car at a signal and turn to look at him intently.

Even if it was before meeting me, I’d rather he be a shameless scumbag who’s currently two-timing Hae-won with someone else. A dead fiancée’s younger sister couldn’t handle someone like me who sleeps with anyone without a care.

Maybe he lost his reason and went mad from not becoming the son-in-law of Han-gyeong Group, or maybe he was blinded by ambition, and any means or methods to achieve that goal, regardless of their form, were irrelevant to him. Things like conscience or guilt were completely paralyzed.

“Why do you call that woman ‘mother’?”

“Hae-won.”

“Why do you call her mother? That woman isn’t Choi Hyun-mi.”

“Did you hear something?”

He asked in a lowered tone, as if he’d caught on. It was a gentle tone, quite different from the cold voice he used when calling Hae-won’s name.

“They say you were going to get married. To a woman… you were going to marry that woman’s older sister, but she died, right?”

“……”

“Is it true?”

“Yes.”

My heart lurched again at his calm admission of a fact I already knew.

“Did you like her?”

“What?”

“Did you like the dead woman?”

“I liked her. I must have liked her to get engaged.”

He spoke as if speculating about someone else’s business, not his own, not even using the past tense. I hated that attitude of his. His attitude and consciousness, frozen inside, doing inhuman things without feeling any wrongdoing, made my skin crawl.

The car started moving forward again. It was heading towards Hae-won’s Officetel.

“Did you love her?”

My clenched fist tightened, knuckles protruding. He didn’t answer. Following the signal, he eased off the accelerator, gently pressed the brake, and Hyun Woo-jin smoothly brought the car to a stop.

“Did you love her?”

“How many years ago are you asking about? What does that have to do with you? No, what’s the point of asking that now anyway?”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to answer and was avoiding it; it literally meant a useless argument. He doesn’t invest time in useless things, doesn’t expend emotions on useless things. That’s how he maintains his career. Focusing only on the essence. Hyun Woo-jin doesn’t even glance at things that are unprofitable and non-essential. Hae-won was also an unprofitable, non-essential existence to him. A trivial existence he could discard whenever he got bored, could cut off.

“It’s important to me.”

“Sure it is. The person I’m seeing now is you. And that kind of question isn’t like you.”

“…What’s ‘like me’? Is it ‘like me’ to not demand any emotions, to just take off my clothes and spread my legs on the bed whenever Hyun Woo-jin feels like barging in?”

“Moon Hae-won.”

“Do you think I enjoy asking this? Just tell me the truth!”

Hae-won shouted at him. He pulled the car over to the roadside shoulder. He put on the side lights and turned his head fully towards Hae-won.

“What do you want to know?”

“Did you love that woman?”

“……”

He was thinking. It seemed he had to think to know. Even though they were engaged, it seemed he had to search his memory to know whether he loved her or not.

“I don’t know exactly what love is, so I don’t know what that is either.”

“You got engaged without even loving her?”

“Why do I have to undergo this interrogation from you? Besides, I’m not engaged now and deceiving you; it’s already over. A long time ago at that. Did I get caught being engaged behind your back now? Should I ask if you loved every single bastard you’ve met, not enough even if I used all my fingers and toes? Did you love them?”

“You didn’t love her, right?”

Staring intently at Hae-won who persistently asked, he swept his hand over his face as if tired. His large hand brushed his facial skin back and forth.

“Why are you like this?”

His crumpled expression seemed to ask where he saw what, what exactly he heard to act this troublesome.

“You must not have loved her. That’s why you were hanging around hotels with her younger sister.”

“……”

The motion of sweeping his face stopped, and his eyes, visible between his fingers, stared piercingly at Hae-won like flashing lights. A sunken gaze, as if being sucked into a black forest, descended upon Hae-won.

“I saw you and Kim So-young in the lounge that day. I also saw the two of you entering the fortieth-floor suite of that hotel.”

He lowered the hand that had been sweeping his face, leaned back deeply into the driver’s seat, and sighed. He seemed to finally understand the reason for Hae-won’s sudden behavior.

“After doing that to her older sister, you wanted to do that stuff with the younger sister?”

“……”

The more I fired questions at him, the more a dizzying sensation, as if being pushed towards a cliff, washed over me. It was clear that one wrong step would send me plummeting into a bottomless abyss, yet I kept asking him. It was a desperate struggle, wanting to hear some explanation that made sense, that was acceptable, even if it was a lie.

He doesn’t answer. To him, this too is nothing but a useless waste of time, a useless argument, an emotional fight. There’s no worth or necessity to answer; even if he doesn’t answer and fails to make Hae-won understand, he has nothing to lose.

“What kind of person you are… I don’t know.”

“……”

“And I don’t want to know.”

“……”

“I don’t want to know anymore.”

He stepped on the accelerator. The car merged onto the road.

My heart felt like it had been smashed down somewhere on the floor. In the suffocatingly quiet silence inside the car, he and Hae-won sat with their mouths firmly shut. Only the faint sounds of the engine and heater operation could be heard. His car entered the Officetel parking lot. He parked the car roughly in an empty spot.

Having seen what shouldn’t be seen, known what shouldn’t be known, asked what shouldn’t be asked, Hae-won was disqualified as an object for him to relieve his sexual desires. As Hae-won tried to get out of the car silently, he handed over the violin.

“……”

The eyes that met were desolate. Only strong contrasts were visible. Hae-won took the violin and got out of the car. He closed the car door and turned away.

He went up the elevator and unconsciously pressed the number. Arriving on the 22nd floor, he got out of the elevator. Standing in front of the Officetel door, he tried to unlock the door lock. He kept pressing the wrong numbers. He pressed wrong three times, triggering a warning beep. He waited for the buttons to reactivate and entered again. Tracing back the numbers, he fumblingly pressed them, unlocked the door lock, and went inside. Closing the door behind him, he leaned his back against it.

The strength left his legs. His body slid down as if slipping, and he collapsed onto the cold entrance floor.

He hadn’t upheld the proper feelings of bewildering guilt and apology one should feel towards the dead Tae-shin, and despite knowing Tae-shin had a crush on him, he met him out of a base desire to see him, suck his saliva, and mix tongues.

He liked him, mistakenly thinking he had possessed him. Perhaps it was only natural that he and I, who were like that, would end in such an ugly state. Hae-won was realizing emptily that he and I were over. In a state too hideous to bear looking at.

∞ ∞ ∞

Time passed without contact. Hae-won boarded a chartered flight to China. He handled the busy schedule. The collaboration with the Chinese pianist who won the Chopin Competition took place at China’s largest classical performance hall and was broadcast live nationwide. Seo Okhwa was also invited as a distinguished guest to China and they ran into each other everywhere, but Hae-won only bowed in greeting and passed her by.

Seo Okhwa, thinking Hae-won was avoiding her out of reluctance to reveal their acquaintance in front of other orchestra members, not knowing she had almost gotten a monster as a son-in-law, not knowing that monster was trying to swallow her house, not knowing she herself liked the monster her daughter had loved so much, smiled with a forgiving understanding smile.

When he returned from the performance tour, perhaps because time had passed, the chaotic turmoil had somewhat subsided.

Hae-won took a taxi from the airport and went straight to the Officetel. He unlocked the door lock and opened the door with a hand so tired he didn’t even want to move.

Hyun Woo-jin was sitting on the Officetel sofa. It was an unexpected meeting. Their eyes met, but Hae-won turned his head away as if he hadn’t seen him. He was the kind of person who could easily find out his return schedule. Putting down the suitcase and violin case, he took off his clothes and went into the bathroom. Even when he came out after showering, he was still sitting there without having left.

“Hae-won.”

“I don’t want to talk long, so just get lost.”

Hae-won shook his hair with a towel and opened the refrigerator. It was packed full with all sorts of ingredients he had bought in bulk, thinking he would pester him to cook when he came. He took out a volume-based waste bag. Leaving the refrigerator open, he put things that came to hand one by one into the bag. Two volume-based waste bags, similar in size to the bag he had brought in, were filled to the brim with trash.

“Moon Hae-won.”

Hae-won went into the bathroom, brought out things like his toothbrush and razor, and put them in the trash bag. As Hae-won was tying the bag opening, Hyun Woo-jin approached him.

“Hae-won.”

“I said just get lost.”

“Let’s talk.”

“Get lost because you’re disgusting. Fuck.”

As he stood up holding the trash bag, he grabbed Hae-won’s arm. Hae-won swung his arm roughly and shook him off.

“Why do I have to go this far for you?”

He asked. It was an absurd question. I wanted to hit him with the trash bag in my hand. Hae-won tightly closed his eyes and suppressed the surging feeling.

“I clearly said I didn’t want to.”

I had pushed him away when he approached, not wanting to get emotionally entangled with someone who had been with Tae-shin. He was turning me into the same trash. It was the lowest. I didn’t want to struggle in a mire I was dragged down to the bottom of, unable to escape. I had to get out when I had the chance.

I didn’t want to like him. If I liked him knowing what kind of human he was, I would become less than human. But I still liked him. I still didn’t want to believe it. Hae-won still liked Hyun Woo-jin insanely.

“What was the reason for dragging me, who said I didn’t want to, into this? Did you think you could play with me like Tae-shin and discard me whenever you felt like it? Then why make a person like this if you’re just going to play with them appropriately and discard them? Why make me know such things? Why did you lie about being on duty to make me go to that house!”

Hae-won shuddered. Intense disgust towards him poured from his eyes and lips. The honest thought that if he hadn’t known that fact, he could have kept meeting him like an idiot who knew nothing, popped out.

If I hadn’t known, I would have kept meeting him, as the me who knew nothing was guiltless. If I hadn’t known, I would have kept liking him. It wasn’t resentment about why he did such things, but why he made me know, making it so I could no longer like him, love him, ruining things like this.

With a stiff voice as if troubled, yet not pressing, he spoke quietly.

“I told you it’s not like that.”

He had a face asking to be believed. Perhaps because it was the appearance of him I used to like, it seemed sincere. Hyun Woo-jin looked extremely pained that he was being terribly misunderstood, that it was me who was misunderstanding him.

“Were you sincere? Were you sincere with Tae-shin too? Were you sincere with me too? How am I supposed to believe a human who fools around with his dead fiancée’s younger sister? You teach me. I’m going crazy too.”

Looking at Hae-won, who stood resolutely and firmly, determined not to believe anything about him no matter what he said or did, he swept back his hair.

“It’s not the kind of relationship you think.”

“Ha.”

An empty laugh burst out because what he said was too absurd.

He sighed, took out his phone from inside his jacket, and while dialing somewhere, snatched the trash bag from Hae-won’s hand and put it down. With strong force, he grabbed Hae-won’s forearm, which he was avoiding as if it were pathetic and not worth dealing with, and made him stand. Hae-won tried to shake it off, but he tightened his grip with a vicious strength, holding on more firmly.

“I need to see you for a moment. Yeah. Come there. Right now. Come right now.”

He commanded the other person as if pressuring them and hung up. Putting the phone back in his jacket pocket, he now spoke to Hae-won.

“You come too.”

Hae-won was semi-forcibly dragged by him. The car, which had sped over roughly, stopped in front of the hotel where he had stayed with Kim Jae-min. It was the hotel where he had first seen him.

He glared at him, but Hyun Woo-jin gave no answer in return. When Hae-won stubbornly refused to get out of the car, he opened the passenger door and pulled Hae-won out with brute force. As he was being dragged by Hyun Woo-jin, Hae-won realized he hadn’t used force on him until now. People glanced at them as he fiercely grabbed Hae-won by the collar as if they were about to start a fistfight.

They arrived at the lounge where Hae-won had first seen him. Looking around, he pulled Hae-won in an unwanted direction while still holding his collar. Hae-won stumbled unsightly, trying not to fall, and followed him.

In the corner of the lounge, Kim So-young was sitting. Hyun Woo-jin dragged him to the chair opposite and roughly made him sit.

How angry Hyun Woo-jin was could be seen from Kim So-young’s expression. Her frightened eyes were trembling blurrily. Brushing off his disheveled jacket and adjusting his tie, he sat down, calming his breathing. Hae-won glared at him sitting beside him. His chest was heaving. The employee who had come to take their order, meeting Hyun Woo-jin’s eyes, gauged the table’s atmosphere and quietly turned away.

Eyes that seemed ferocious and savage, as if they would crush and slice something immediately, were hiding their killing intent beneath a calm surface, holding their breath.

“So-young.”

It was a terrifyingly cold voice. He called Kim So-young’s name.

“…Yes.”

As if knowing why this was happening, Kim So-young clenched both hands, hunched her shoulders tightly, and bowed her head.

“You know my Hubae, right?”

She nodded and glanced at Hae-won.

“This friend knows I was engaged to Ha-young. But he says he saw you and me at the hotel; why do I have to suffer this dirty misunderstanding?”

“…I’m sorry.”

“So-young, you explain.”

She opened her mouth haltingly. Even her slender fingers, which tried to cover her trembling lips, were shaking violently.

“I threatened Oppa. That if he didn’t meet me, if he didn’t stay with me that day, I would kill myself, that I would take pills, I threatened him because I liked Oppa. Sniff…”

“Explain in detail to the end.”

“That day in the hotel room, Oppa left me alone and sent for our parents. Because I wouldn’t listen… because he couldn’t persuade me at all, Oppa did that.”

Kim So-young weakly shook her head as if recalling a shameful memory. With a childish desire to have something, she had threatened him that she would die like her older sister, called him to the hotel, dressed and acted like a mature woman suited to him, and must have been intoxicated by the ecstasy of feeling like his woman.

Before Kim So-young, who had lost her reason and was intoxicated with emotion, not even knowing what she was doing, Hyun Woo-jin had brought in Seo Okhwa and President Kim Jeong-geun.

Imagining how she must have felt when her parents burst in after she opened the door thinking it was Hyun Woo-jin made my face automatically contort. It was a method fitting for him, cruel but desperately awakening one to reality. He didn’t coax or persuade her that she shouldn’t do it. He complied and made her face her parents. He poured ice water on the blazing flames and called Kim So-young, whose reason was paralyzed, back to reality.

“You don’t know how much I got scolded by Mom and Dad that day. That I was doing that to Oppa… our parents now think I’ve come to my senses. I know I did something I should die of shame for towards my older sister. But what can I do if I can’t give up? What can I do if I like someone?”

I don’t remember exactly what conversation they had that day, what the atmosphere was like. It seemed like when Kim So-young tried to link arms with him, he shook her off, and when she sat close, he rebuked her to move away. I thought she was a woman with no self-respect. If it were me, I would have gotten up and left that spot, Hae-won had thought.

Hyun Woo-jin’s eyes twisted as if disgusted by the sight of the immature Kim So-young’s sobbing. Without further ado, he rose from his seat.

Hyun Woo-jin grabbed the wrist of Hae-won, who was sitting in a daze, and pulled him up. Dragged out by sheer force once again, Hae-won didn’t resist but obediently followed. As he walked along silently, Woo-jin released his wrist. Though the gripped wrist had turned red, Hae-won didn’t scold him.

Taking the keys handed by the parking attendant and settling into the driver’s seat, Woo-jin scowled at Hae-won, who stood staring blankly.

“Get in the car.”

“……”

“Hurry up. You must have a lot to say too.”

Hae-won got into his car. Unable to contain his surging anger, Hyun Woo-jin cursed at the car ahead for no reason, even though it had done nothing. Driving in silence, he finally spoke as if exasperated.

“Why do I have to spill all this to you? Going through the humiliation with that childish brat.”

That wasn’t an explanation, nor was it easy to understand him based on that alone.

“You know full well I like you, so why do you keep meeting with those people from that house? Are you their dog? Do you come running when called?”

“……”

He turned to look at Hae-won. Slowly turning, he stopped the car in the middle of the road. In his gaze, an anger Hae-won had never seen before trembled and boiled. Under the piercing blue flames in his eyes, Hae-won felt an instinctive fear, his spine tingling as cold sweat seeped out.

Staring at Hae-won with terrifying intensity, he didn’t react to the blaring horn of the car behind. Hae-won met his gaze.

“Are you their dog?”

“Moon Hae-won.”

“If not a dog, then what? You’re selling yourself to take over Han-gyeong Group, aren’t you?”

“……”

Chewing back something rising within him, he moved his foot to the accelerator at the blaring horn. The car slowly started moving. He spoke in a subdued voice.

“It has nothing to do with you.”

“If it has nothing to do with me, why did you bring me here?”

“Because I plan to end things with you.”

“……”

“Do you know why I liked you?”

His face, now regaining composure, showed no trace of the blue flames Hae-won had seen moments before.

“You don’t look at me with disgust. You don’t force yourself into medical school just to please me, and you don’t get drunk and drive recklessly because I don’t like you back. You don’t disgustingly threaten to take pills and die if I don’t meet you.”

“……”

“That’s why you were comfortable. Being by your side… was comfortable.”

The lips that had always lied were now speaking the truth.

In silence, he looked ahead, while Hae-won fixed his gaze on the streets beyond the car window. His car stopped in front of the officetel. Though he didn’t say to get out, a silence that seemed to demand it continued. The car idled meaninglessly.

He kept looking straight ahead. The streets were bustling with people. Their ceaseless movements felt unreal, like watching a TV screen.

Floating in the car were only the sound of Hae-won’s breathing and the idling engine. Isolated in a glass-like disconnect from the world outside the window, only he and Hae-won were breathing in this moment.

“Get out.”

Hyun Woo-jin spoke to Hae-won, who remained seated without getting out. Hae-won stepped out of the car. As soon as the door closed, his gray car kicked up rough dust and disappeared.