6 – Chapter 6

The morning of the performance day. On the day with a rehearsal scheduled, Hae-won had set a morning alarm in advance so he wouldn’t forget.

He opened his eyes to the sound of the alarm. Morning sunlight poured in through the parted curtains. The clear, cloudless sky stabbed painfully into his vision.

Hae-won covered his eyes with his hand and irritably rolled over. A sense of lethargy, not wanting to do anything, made his limbs go limp.

His physical condition was terrible. He wanted to blow off his schedule. Performance or whatever, he didn’t want to do anything today. His limbs felt heavy, as if they were weighted with lead. He felt like even if someone held a knife to his throat threatening to kill him, he wouldn’t want to get up, but the alarm was so annoying he had no choice.

Hae-won was sensitive to sound, and the alarm was a noise he genuinely hated. Picking up his phone from the floor and turning off the alarm, the loud noise vanished instantly. Then, his gaze fell on his own two legs, which had slipped down under the bed. They were completely bare.

“Ahh…….”

Last night’s events flashed through his mind. It had been a long time since he’d gotten that excited. For Hae-won, sex was just a tiring struggle to momentarily appease his sexual urges.

An uncontrollable excitement, as if swept up by something, enveloped his entire body. Reason evaporated and flew away. Even knowing he was watching, he didn’t stop. The gaze fixed on him tickled his skin. It was a tremor he didn’t dislike. Hyun Woo-jin had eyes where tension and pleasure were indistinguishable.

As expected, he picked up the pants that were lying haphazardly on the floor like discarded clothes and put them on.

Hae-won got up and made the bed. As he was patting and smoothing out the sheets, he paused. The toy wasn’t visible. He lifted the sheets and checked under and on top of the mattress, but the toy wasn’t there.

Did I put it in the drawer last night?

He opened each drawer of the three-tier side table one by one, but it wasn’t in there either. Finding a toy he liked that much wasn’t easy.

Hae-won called Hyun Woo-jin. He didn’t answer. A grumble flowed out naturally: Who are you to tell someone to listen well and answer calls properly when you don’t even answer calls well yourself? On the third call, he finally answered.

―I’m in a meeting. Hanging up.

“Wai…!”

Before he could even utter the three syllables of “wait a second,” the call was unilaterally ended by Hyun Woo-jin. Feeling dumbfounded, he looked at the screen. The call duration was 2 seconds.

It was eight in the morning. Having a meeting from eight in the morning was unfair labor. He persistently called him. After about three calls, a voice message played saying the customer had turned off their phone. Hae-won sent him a message.

[Did you take the toy? Put it back. I like that one. I’ll use it often.]

After sending the message to Hyun Woo-jin, he literally threw his phone onto the bed, venting his pointless anger.

He showered, poured milk over cereal, and ate breakfast. The weather was chilly, but since he mainly used taxis, he didn’t dress too thickly. Instead, he made sure to wear gloves. He put on a dark brown coat.

Grabbing his violin, he left the officetel. On the first floor, he picked up the suit he had left at the dry cleaner a few days ago. He planned to wear it for today’s performance. Even by then, Hyun Woo-jin hadn’t responded.

There was no contact from him even as he took a taxi and arrived at the concert hall. It was performance day, and with an early morning rehearsal scheduled, the concert hall was already bustling with orchestra members, equipment team, lighting team, sound team, and production staff.

Hae-won sipped the coffee he’d brought takeout, sat down, and organized his instrument. He checked the condition of the four strings and the bow. The bow hair on the orchestra bow was too broken to be suitable for today’s performance. He took out his solo bow and applied rosin.

While rubbing rosin on the bow hair, Hae-won kept glancing at his phone placed on the music stand. Usually, during rehearsals, he would turn it off or put it on vibrate and forget it in his bag; he had never paid attention to something like a phone before.

Even when the conductor arrived and Henry Chang, who looked disheveled as if not fully awake, appeared last, there was no change on his phone. Hae-won turned off the device and stuffed it into his bag.

There wasn’t a single member who couldn’t understand the conductor’s English, but an interpreter was always on standby.

“Let’s start again from the part we discussed yesterday.”

The interpreter clearly relayed the conductor’s words. The conductor looked displeased at the noisy staff moving busily in the audience seats, and the interpreter loudly requested they quiet down. As the surroundings grew quiet, the entire orchestra began tuning to the oboe’s A note.

Brahms’ Violin Concerto in D Major Op. 77 was a piece Hae-won also liked so much that he wanted to perform it as a soloist someday. It was dramatic and grand.

Reading the sheet music with his eyes and following the conductor’s gestures, Hae-won also drew his bow across the strings. When they reached the solo part, the melody of Henry Chang’s Guarneri violin resonated through the empty concert hall.

It seemed to be Henry Chang’s first performance in Korea, as a broadcasting station had come to film. A reporter fluent in English followed Henry Chang around asking questions, and the cameraman filmed his every move. Hae-won deliberately avoided them, even though they weren’t filming him, for fear of being caught on camera.

After finishing the morning rehearsal, a buffet-style lunch was prepared in the dining area. Only then did Hae-won turn on his phone.

His expectations were spot on. There were no missed calls or messages. Only useless loan advertisements and credit card benefit texts had been received.

Hae-won ate lunch holding his phone as if desperately waiting for a call.

He should have reminded him that today was the performance day. He had definitely told him yesterday, but he might have forgotten, so it seemed good to send a message now to remind him. Even if rarely, when Hae-won called, even if he couldn’t answer, he would always call back when he had a moment.

Hae-won had forgotten that he had called him about the toy, and even though he had never intended to invite him in the first place, he was indignant at his behavior of having no contact on the performance day.

He wanted to hear his voice right now, and though it hadn’t even been a full day—just half a day—since contact was lost, Hae-won stabbed at his salad with a fork as if crushing it, like someone with an anxiety disorder.

It wasn’t that he was trying to play the push-and-pull game he hated, but the assumption that Hyun Woo-jin might be tired of his own stubborn, unyielding attitude suddenly crossed Hae-won’s mind.

Had he made a mistake?

It seemed there was nothing Hyun Woo-jin could possibly lack. With that appearance and that aura, his eyes tightened Hae-won’s chest.

Intelligent and affectionate, yet with a wild gaze that could instantly make people tense, the gap between that and his usual demeanor made Hae-won’s hair stand on end. He had the perfect physical attributes for intimidating criminals. When sharp, he reminded one of a swordsman who could kill with just a graze. He was a man with no gaps to exploit.

Last night, Hae-won had respected him. Seeing him endure like an ascetic bearing hardship, even in that state, made him truly feel that Hyun Woo-jin was six years his senior. It wasn’t something that could be endured, nor was it something that needed to be endured. He couldn’t understand why Hyun Woo-jin was so fixated on such a trivial thing.

It’s not the body that’s important, it’s the heart, he had said, grabbing Hae-won’s hair. That feeling toward Hyun Woo-jin had already been born when Lee Jin-young had shielded him behind his back.

He couldn’t swear with the absurd word “forever,” but for the time being, at least for now, the heart came first, and he didn’t want anyone else. The vague sense of guilt he felt toward Tae-shin, that kind of trivial regret, had become useless after last night. Being conscious of it was rather an act of mocking him. He was dead, and he continuously rationalized that they had met after his death. However Hae-won felt about Hyun Woo-jin had nothing to do with Tae-shin.

Regret washed over him belatedly: it would have been better to just give him the answer he wanted last night. To hear his voice, he would have to call first, and Hae-won had already called him nearly ten times.

Now he didn’t want to call. Hae-won had never called first, begging to hear someone’s voice. He wanted to keep not doing things he never did if possible. He didn’t want to change his attitude because of Hyun Woo-jin.

The one who’s lacking will call, right?

Hae-won glared at his phone. The call didn’t come until lunchtime was over.

“What kind of meeting…, not even eating.”

Even as the performance approached, there was no contact from him.

Hae-won changed into the black suit he had brought. Black pants and a black shirt. Most of the orchestra wore black suits. Some wore white shirts under black jackets, while others, like Hae-won, didn’t wear jackets and wore black shirts. Unifying the color to black was an unspoken rule.

Wearing a jacket under the lights made him sweat from the heat of the lighting. Since he had to keep moving his arms anyway, Hae-won found it uncomfortable and rarely wore a jacket.

Sitting in the waiting room, he stared at the monitor showing the empty audience seats and the solitary piano on stage. It wasn’t yet time for the audience to enter, so only staff checking the sound and stage were busily moving around in the monitor.

“Some announcer came earlier, did you see? Probably came to interview Henry Chang. Her face is this small,” said the cellist who had graduated from Manhattan School of Music.

Hae-won, who had been staring at the monitor with his arms crossed, shook his head and sat down. In the seat next to him, the violist was fixing his hair with wax. Their eyes met in the mirror. The viola, wearing thick horn-rimmed glasses, opened his mouth as if making an excuse, even though no one had asked.

“In case it falls down and gets in the way.”

His hair had never fallen down and gotten in the way, but Hae-won also reached out to him.

“Let me borrow some too. I was actually bothered by my hairstyle.”

“Sure, use it comfortably.”

He applied the sticky wax and styled his hair. Pushing his hair back to reveal his forehead made him look sharp. Just as Hae-won and the viola were sitting side by side grooming their hair, saying they’d make it look like some trendy hairstyle, the cellist subtly squeezed between them saying he wanted to try some too, when knock knock, there was a knock.

No one would knock and enter the men’s string instrument waiting room number 3. When the cellist said, “Yes?”, the door opened. The first thing visible was a flower basket larger than a person.

“Is Moon Hae-won here?”

“Yes?”

Hae-won, who had been looking in the mirror and fiddling with his hair without any interest, turned his head. The delivery person seemed momentarily hesitant, perhaps surprised that he wasn’t a woman, but after reconfirming the name, he came in carrying the flower basket. He got a signature from Hae-won and left.

There was only one person around Hae-won who knew he was performing today.

“Wow, who is it? Hae-won, do you have a lover? That’s amazing. It’s my first time seeing a man receive flowers. But this is really cool too. I should ask my girlfriend to send me a flower basket.”

The viola got excited on Hae-won’s behalf upon seeing the large flower basket. Hae-won, secretly harboring expectation, pulled out the card tucked among the roses and hydrangeas. The emotions that had been fluctuating toward him all morning abruptly deflated.

How could one possibly describe the amplitude of these ever-changing emotions?

[Congratulations on the performance. And I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.]

The sender of the flower basket wasn’t Hyun Woo-jin, but Lee Jin-young. Something beyond disappointment washed over him. And beyond disappointment, realizing he felt hurt and resentful toward Hyun Woo-jin, Hae-won froze.

“Who is it?”

“A stalker.”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

Hae-won crumpled the card and threw it into the trash can. He pushed the flower basket against a corner of the wall.

It meant Lee Jin-young was coming to see today’s performance. That he wasn’t a runaway music college student was already exposed, and who he was had likely been told by his lawyer.

Hae-won was about to send a message to Hyun Woo-jin but stopped. He barely held back from asking, There’s someone else ignoring your threats, what are you going to do about it? He might not be able to do anything, but the fact that he was approaching like this was extremely tiresome. He didn’t want to deal with him.

“Oh, looks like they’re letting people in.”

The monitor, with no sound, showed the audience filling the seats. Time had already reached thirty minutes before the performance.

He checked the condition of his instrument one last time and confirmed the order of the sheet music hadn’t changed. The VIP seats weren’t visible on the monitor, and a glance at the audience seats showed neither Hyun Woo-jin nor Lee Jin-young.

After staring at the flower basket in the corner, he left the waiting room at the staff’s call. The orchestra, lined up waiting at the stage entrance, stepped onto the stairs one by one. As the performers appeared, applause poured from the audience. Hae-won, who sat at the very back even in the second violins, went up last, following behind the flutes and piccolos.

The applause continued until the orchestra was seated. The lighting made it hard to see the audience clearly. If he came, he’d be sitting somewhere. Whether it’s Hyun Woo-jin or Lee Jin-young.

At least Lee Jin-young sent a flower basket. Whether Hae-won played well or not wouldn’t greatly affect today’s performance, but still, shouldn’t he at least send one message wishing him well? There had been no contact from Hyun Woo-jin until he went on stage, and Hae-won, biting his lip tightly, was shaken by some unknown emotion driving him. A violent feeling surged, wanting to grab him by the collar and tell him not to play games with an adult while doing push-and-pull.

When the oboe sounded the A note, everyone began tuning. After the orchestra finished tuning, the conductor walked out. Applause poured forth. The orchestra members also stood up to greet the maestro. The first part was the orchestra’s regular concert, and the second part was Henry Chang’s concerto performance.

No matter how much he looked, he couldn’t see anyway, so Hae-won didn’t pay attention to the audience and focused on the performance. The enchanting orchestra sound grandly filled the concert hall’s main theater. Time passed, unsure if he was actually playing or just mimicking, as his mind was already filled with other thoughts.

The first part ended, and there was a fifteen-minute intermission.

There was still no contact on the phone he’d left in the waiting room, and anger slowly began to simmer. He stared intently at the monitor showing the audience bustling about, but the person he wanted to see wasn’t there. He had to constantly suppress the urge to call him.

He used the fifteen minutes efficiently by stopping by the restroom and drinking water, then went back on stage for the second part. When Henry Chang and the pianist appeared, exclamations and thunderous applause erupted.

The audience who actually saw Henry Chang buzzed with delight at his youthful appearance.

The first piece was Beethoven’s Violin Sonata “Kreutzer.” The spotlight fell only on Henry Chang and the piano. The orchestra was trapped in darkness. Only then did Hae-won look up at the VIP seats. He could only vaguely see In-young; he couldn’t make out people’s faces.

As he lowered his gaze, he made eye contact with someone. That eye contact was his own delusion. From over there, Hae-won wasn’t visible. Lee Jin-young was sitting in the second row of the audience, staring precisely in his direction, even though he couldn’t see him. From such a close seat, he must have seen him performing in the first part. Even if it was the corner and the last row, he would still be visible.

The eye Hae-won had stabbed seemed fine. He seemed to have lost a little weight. He didn’t look slim, but his jawline stood out, giving a sharper impression. He no longer looked like an athlete. Hae-won looked at him, then averted his gaze.

Tolstoy was inspired by Beethoven’s Violin Sonata “Kreutzer” and wrote a novel. The novel’s protagonist murders his wife. The novel proceeds with the unconventional content of the narrator’s recollection of killing his wife. Tolstoy described the scene of the violinist and his wife playing Beethoven’s “Kreutzer” Sonata on the piano as a sexual act between a man and a woman.

He was convinced that the tense exchange between the piano and violin and their musical communion was an affair. That they were spiritually committing adultery through their music. The protagonist cursed music. What is music anyway? Is music originally like this? Music is a terrifying thing, he excused himself, saying that’s why he killed his wife, and resented Beethoven’s sonata.

The content was too somber for the still-young Henry Chang to express and convey. While the precision and technique of his fingers on the fingerboard were impressive, no more complex emotions could be felt.

After the Kreutzer ended, Henry Chang and the pianist left the stage to great applause. A stagehand came out and dragged the piano to the back.

Under the stage-wide lighting, Hae-won let out a small sigh. Lee Jin-young was sitting quite close, so his face was visible even from here. Hae-won deliberately avoided looking in that direction.

The conductor and Henry Chang came out again. It was the highlight of the performance. Brahms’s Violin Concerto began.

∞ ∞ ∞

The performance ended successfully. The orchestra’s playing was good, and Henry Chang, who was breathing with them for the first time, proved he wasn’t called a genius for nothing. His honest, concise expressiveness and precise phrasing, while not deeply dissecting Brahms, managed to convey Brahms’s depth through technique alone.

Apart from Isaac Stern, there weren’t any violinists who greatly appealed to Hae-won, but Henry Chang’s playing was good enough to personally look forward to his performances ten and twenty years from now. Thanks to that, Hae-won, who had mindlessly wasted the first half, focused quite a bit during the second half and didn’t think about Hyun Woo-jin or Lee Jin-young during that time.

In addition to the three prepared encore pieces, Henry Chang, saying he wanted to express gratitude to his homeland, played “Spring in My Hometown” as a finale—a cliché repertoire piece, but one that stings the bridge of the nose every time it’s heard. The audience sang along to Henry Chang’s violin playing, decorating the finale, and the performance ended.

Amidst that moving performance, Hae-won could sense Lee Jin-young’s figure, not listening, mechanically clapping, and staring intently only at Hae-won’s face.

After the performance ended, Hae-won returned to the waiting room. He took photos with the orchestra and shook hands with Henry Chang. A post-performance gathering was prepared in a nearby hotel banquet hall. The cellist, who had finished packing up his instrument first, waited for the sluggishly moving Hae-won and the violist to ride together in his car to the banquet hall. The cellist glanced at the flower basket Hae-won had received.

“Mr. Hae-won, aren’t you taking that?”

“I have a flower allergy.”

“Then can I take it?”

“Do as you please.”

“I’ll put it in the car. Call me when you come down.”

“You two go ahead. I’ll follow in a bit.”

The viola and cello left the waiting room. The cellist couldn’t carry both his cello case and the flower basket at the same time. The violist shouldered the cello case for him. The flower basket was ridiculously large, heavy enough to make one groan if carried alone.

Once they left, the surroundings fell completely silent. The noisy footsteps and bustling chatter from outside gradually faded over time. Hae-won checked his phone, but it was, as expected, quiet.

“…….”

An emotion beyond disappointment welled up like water. He had held Hae-won’s hand the entire time while watching the night view from the car. He had called late at night to say goodnight, and they had kissed all night. When told not to touch, he had locked his upper body with both arms to avoid contact and kissed Hae-won. Perhaps struggling to hold back, he suddenly did push-ups to relieve the tension, and then Hyun Woo-jin, showing no sign of fatigue, pressed his lips softly for a kiss.

He had taken Hae-won to a hotel, fed him, and, though he said they would only kiss while lying on the bed, he was fully erect, creating an indecent atmosphere.

He was the one who said feelings were important, that Hae-won should speak up when he felt like wanting to undress only in front of him, and who had endured last night, when Hae-won wouldn’t have minded anything happening to him.

He had spoken sweet words, saying there’s only this life, there’s no next life.

Staring blankly at the melancholy face in the mirror, Hae-won rose from his seat without hesitation. Waiting no longer had any meaning.

He put on his coat and picked up the shopping bag containing his clothes. The dry-cleaning plastic and hanger stuck out. Shouldering his violin, he left the waiting room. With over a hundred people at the gathering, no one would notice one person missing.

The concert hall, emptied of both audience and performers, was dead silent. A few staff members cleaning up were raising their voices to coordinate positions as they moved expensive speakers.

While descending the stairs, Hae-won ran into the bassoonist.

“Are you heading to the gathering now? Everyone left earlier. I forgot my wallet in the waiting room, you see.”

Without even being asked, she showed Hae-won a small black wallet and smiled.

“I’m not feeling well, so I’m heading in.”

“Not feeling well?”

“I guess I was too nervous.”

“I was incredibly nervous today too. I went to the bathroom twice. During the second half, I was sweating cold sweat, wanting to go to the bathroom so badly in the middle. Henry Chang plays so well, doesn’t he? For a regular performance, this one seemed high-level in both the pieces and the playing.”

“Yes, thank you for your hard work. I’ll be going now.”

Nodding a greeting to the woman who was oversharing unasked-for information, Hae-won walked in the opposite direction. He stopped his steps toward the taxi stand.

Beyond the glass door, he saw Lee Jin-young standing, exhaling a long white breath. Trying to avoid him, Hae-won was caught in his line of sight as Lee Jin-young turned. As Hae-won hesitated and stood still, Lee Jin-young pushed the glass door open and came inside. His footsteps echoed thud-thud in the desolate space.

“I’m sorry.”

“…….”

“I didn’t know back then what my hand meant to you. That’s what I’m most sorry about. I can’t believe I tried to do that to you.”

He started with an abrupt apology. Hae-won looked at him with tightly sealed lips. Though he had lost weight, as if proving his recent mental anguish, his originally robust build kept him from looking haggard; instead, he even seemed to show a maturity born of psychological suffering. And above all, his earnest apologetic attitude softened Hae-won’s aversion toward him.

“Hae-won-ah.”

“I get it. That’s enough, so stop.”

“Haa……. I guess I really wanted to hear those words. My heart feels like it’s clenching.”

As if to say that’s how it was now, he grabbed his left chest tightly. He raised his head while rubbing his own chest.

“Seems like everyone’s going to the gathering, aren’t you going?”

“I’m tired, heading home.”

Hae-won walked past him. Pushing the glass door open, he descended the wide-spaced stairs. Lee Jin-young followed Hae-won.

“Didn’t you eat dinner? You must be hungry.”

“I had a snack.”

“I’ll buy you something delicious. As a way of accepting my apology, have dinner with me.”

“Aren’t we past that kind of relationship?”

Hae-won stopped walking and looked back at him. They had threatened to sue each other, report to the police, and he had nearly gone blind because of Lee Jin-young. Lee Jin-young, with both eyes intact, also stopped walking.

“I’m not trying to do something with you like this. I just want to at least buy you dinner. I really enjoyed today’s performance. It was moving.”

He spoke earnestly. He was careful not to approach, deliberately staying about two steps away, trying not to close the distance between them. Hae-won didn’t reply and turned away. He quickened his pace, heading toward the main road.

“Did you get the flowers?”

“I threw them away.”

“I’m sorry. I should’ve given you something else.”

“I don’t need anything.”

“My thinking was short-sighted. I’m sorry.”

Hae-won sharply turned his head toward him, who was parroting apologies.

“Are you doing this on purpose?”

“Doing what?”

“Why do you keep doing this, making people uncomfortable?”

“Sorry.”

“…….”

His obtuseness was frustrating. As Lee Jin-young slumped as if deflated and let out a sigh, a white breath spread around his chest.

“I’m not in the mood to have dinner with anyone right now. It’s not because of Hyung, so don’t worry about it.”

“Right. I was too……, hasty? Then let me drive you. Wait a moment. I’ll bring the car.”

“It’s fine. I’ll take a taxi.”

Not a single taxi was in sight around this area, which only had the music concert hall. Any passing taxis all had passengers. Despite Hae-won telling him to go, Lee Jin-young didn’t leave and stood beside Hae-won, waiting for a taxi together.

Rather than Hae-won, he was the one making a fuss, craning his neck far out to look for a taxi. Even if a taxi wasn’t marked as vacant, whenever he saw one, he’d frantically wave his hand, and soon he’d step onto the road, desperately reaching out even as taxis with passengers passed by.

“Taxis probably won’t be easy to catch.”

He said worriedly. Lee Jin-young anxiously rubbed his cold hands together and cast his gaze toward the shimmering vehicles stopped at the traffic light.

“You can go. I’ll be fine alone. It’s cold.”

“Aren’t you cold?”

Since Hae-won took taxis in front of the officetel and got off there, the distance traveled was minimal, so even in midwinter, he didn’t wear thick padding or parkas.

Looking back at Hae-won standing in a coat without even a scarf, Lee Jin-young’s ears were red. Inside the wool trench coat he seemed to have worn to look sophisticated, there was only a black turtleneck. The backs of his ungloved hands were also red.

“Just go.”

“Wait. I’ll call a call taxi.”

“I said it’s fine.”

“If I call, one will come quickly.”

“…….”

He took out his phone, called somewhere, and sniffled. Perhaps the call taxi wasn’t answering; with tightly sealed lips, Lee Jin-young’s face hardened seriously. Hae-won sighed.

“Bring the car.”

“Huh?”

“I said bring the car.”

“Got it. Wait a bit. I’ll be right back.”

He smiled brightly and hurriedly turned. Hae-won watched his back as he ran toward the parking lot.

Anyone would do, as long as they were devoted to Hae-won, loved him, and could soothe his emptiness. It wasn’t entirely untrue that Hae-won felt some resentment toward Hyun Woo-jin for not contacting or coming to see him on a day like this. Hae-won didn’t want to use any verbs for any feelings toward Hyun Woo-jin, but in the end, that’s how it turned out.

Hae-won hated him, disliked him, was angry because of him, wanted to see him, hold him, kiss him.

Because of the surging resistance toward Hyun Woo-jin, Hae-won was using Lee Jin-young and clearly realized he kept recalling Hyun Woo-jin with verbs.

Lee Jin-young’s car emerged from the parking lot, made a right turn, and approached. The car stopped in front of Hae-won. He rolled down the window.

“Get in quickly.”

Just as Hae-won was about to move to place the luggage and violin he was carrying in the back seat of the car, the movement of an approaching car with flashing headlights seemed unusual. Before Hae-won could even turn his head, a gray car instantly rammed into the rear of the white SUV.

Crash—!

Hae-won jumped back in fright. His whole body stiffened rigidly.

With a thunderous sound, the back of the SUV crumpled, and the gray car’s bonnet was completely crushed. White smoke rose from the bonnet. The SUV’s rear side windows were all shattered. Lee Jin-young, who had face-planted into the steering wheel, groaned uuh and raised his upper body. Not wearing a seatbelt, he had hit the steering wheel directly, and perhaps his nose bridge was broken, as blood was flowing. He grabbed the back of his neck, got out of the car, and staggered.

A person also got out of the gray car. Hyun Woo-jin, impeccably clean without a single injury, got out of the driver’s seat. In an appearance unbelievable for the driver of a crashed vehicle, Hyun Woo-jin leaned his forehead against the SUV, then approached Lee Jin-young, who was trembling and regaining his senses, and unbuttoned his jacket as if observing some courtesy.

“Are you alright?”

“Fuh……, ah fuck, what kind of bastard, ah, this crazy bastard…….”

“Oh my, you’re quite injured.”

Lee Jin-young, clutching his bleeding nose, turned his head and flinched the moment his eyes met Hyun Woo-jin’s.

“Shall I call your insurance company, or an ambulance?”

“…….”

As if he couldn’t believe it, Lee Jin-young shook his head a few times. No matter how much he shook his head, looked, and turned, what was before his eyes was the real Hyun Woo-jin. The corners of his eyes twitched as he looked at Hyun Woo-jin.

“Or you can just leave.”

“…….”

Blood pooled in his nose, and Lee Jin-young coughed kuh-luk. Droplets of blood splattered onto Hyun Woo-jin’s shirt. Hyun Woo-jin only lowered his eyes, staring at the bloodstains on his shirt. Lee Jin-young took a few steps back, staggering as he retreated.

Hyun Woo-jin took out his phone and made two calls somewhere. Within minutes, an insurance company employee arrived. Entrusting the accident handling to him and leaving the bewildered Lee Jin-young standing there, Hyun Woo-jin approached Hae-won, who stood frozen, pale-faced.

“Did you wait long?”

“…….”

“I had too many meetings today.”

“…….”

Hae-won looked at a face on the verge of explosion. While the insurance employee was attending to Lee Jin-young, a car approached. A black sedan stopped behind the gray car. A man got out, spotted Hyun Woo-jin, and approached.

“Seonbae-nim.”

“Give it here.”

“Yes. Is this the right size?”

The man held out a department store shopping bag. Though unsure what was inside, Hyun Woo-jin took it. The man handed the car keys to Hyun Woo-jin.

“Thank you.”

“Please get in.”

The man bowed deeply in greeting. Hyun Woo-jin silently grabbed Hae-won’s wrist. Hae-won was almost dragged along. Glancing back, Lee Jin-young was leaning against the car, holding something like a handkerchief to his nose.

Hyun Woo-jin loaded all the luggage from Hae-won’s hands and the violin from his shoulder into the back seat of the black car.

When Hae-won didn’t get in and just stood still, Hyun Woo-jin opened the passenger door, firmly pressed Hae-won’s head down, and forced him inside. He circled around the bonnet and got into the driver’s seat. The man who brought the car respectfully clasped his hands and bowed again to Hyun Woo-jin, who didn’t even look at him.

As Hyun Woo-jin stepped on the accelerator, the accident scene receded behind them. Hae-won looked in the side mirror at Lee Jin-young, barely standing while leaning against the car. Once he disappeared from view, Hae-won turned to Hyun Woo-jin.

“Why.”

“…….”

When Hae-won looked at him, he asked without even turning. It was the first time Hae-won had seen vehicles colliding so closely, and above all, until the moment just before Hyun Woo-jin’s car charged, Hae-won had been reaching for the car door handle to open the rear door, completely unaware. If Hyun Woo-jin had collided just a bit later, Hae-won’s right hand could have been injured. He clenched his gloved hand tightly. If he could swing a fist, he would have immediately punched Hyun Woo-jin’s face, but he barely restrained himself.

Hyun Woo-jin, who had been driving in silence, stopped the car in front of a deserted intersection. Turning on the hazard lights and getting out, he opened the shopping bag the man had brought. Inside was an unwrapped dress shirt. After checking the size, he hung his jacket on the open car door, took off his blood-splattered top. It was the first time Hae-won had seen him undress since the hotel pool. His waist, without an ounce of excess fat, was slender, while his chest and shoulders were broad. Whether from the cold, his abdominal muscles kept moving, clearly defining their lines. It was a balanced beauty that could captivate even an aesthetic eye.

He indifferently glanced around as if checking if anyone was watching, then put on the new dress shirt. He tucked the hem into his pants and straightened his necktie. Putting the jacket he had hung on the car door back on, he got into the car.

“What was that about?”

“…….”

“Are you insane? Do you have two lives?”

“…….”

“Hyun Woo-jin……!”

“Shut up.”

In a tone icy cold that Hae-won had never heard before, he sharply opened his mouth. Hae-won looked at him, startled.

“Stop talking and shut your mouth. Just because I’m not showing anger doesn’t mean I’m not angry.”

It was a terrifying tone Hae-won had never heard before. Even Hae-won, who wasn’t easily frightened, felt his heart drop at just the sound of that voice. The low, monotone voice was like a sharply honed blade rushing toward the chin. The texture of Hae-won’s emotions churned.

“……Why are you angry?”

“Shut up.”

“Who should be angry here? Why are you the one getting angry?”

“…….”

He didn’t say to shut up or that it was noisy anymore. With a hardened expression, he stared straight ahead. Hae-won’s two fists, tightly clenched on his knees, trembled uncontrollably.

Today was the performance, and he hadn’t sent a single message wishing him well, hadn’t called once. Whether he watched the performance or not, to Hae-won, who didn’t know he had come, it was as if Hyun Woo-jin hadn’t watched it and hadn’t come.

That attitude of his was disappointing. The weather was so cold it was hard to stand waiting, with no taxis in sight, making it pitiful and upsetting, so Hae-won no longer wanted to hope. That Hyun Woo-jin would come, that his car would appear from somewhere. If you hope, you get disappointed. If you don’t hope, there’s nothing to be disappointed about.

There was also a surge of resentment toward him, but Hae-won had only intended to get a ride, with absolutely no thought of doing anything with Lee Jin-young. Hyun Woo-jin hadn’t even come to watch the performance, had left Hae-won out in the cold, yet he was acting as if Hae-won had done something wrong. On top of that, with only one life, he had rammed his car like someone determined to die, wrecking both the other car and his own.

His car arrived in front of the hotel where they had ordered room service yesterday. He said what mattered was the heart, but in the end, it seemed Hyeon Woo-jin didn’t mean that the heart was important—he had other business to attend to. Hae-won’s eyes, gazing up at the lavishly decorated hotel building outside the car window, turned cold and rigid.

Hyeon Woo-jin got out of the car first. Hae-won didn’t move. Woo-jin, who had opened the opposite door and was waiting for Hae-won to get out, placed a hand on the car body and bent down when Hae-won didn’t budge.

“What are you doing? Get out.”

“I’m not getting out.”

“Get out.”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

He sighed. A faint puff of breath spread around his face.

“Hurry up and get out. We’re late.”

“I said I’m not getting out. Why should I?”

“It’d be better if you just got out.”

“What if I just don’t? Are you going to ram into me again? I almost hurt my hand earlier!”

Hae-won shouted at him. Woo-jin, with one hand on the car body and the other on the door, bent down further and stared straight into Hae-won’s face.

“Just get out. Otherwise, I’ll drag you out and sling you over my shoulder.”

It was a ridiculous threat.

“I’m not embarrassed by that. But you, a public servant, would have a problem. Just the rumor of you carrying a man into a hotel would ruin your prosecutor career.”

Hae-won glared at him defiantly.

“It probably wouldn’t ruin it that much, but well, now that you mention it, I guess that’s true.”

“I said I’m not getting out. Got it?”

“I won’t get angry. Get out.”

“……”

“I won’t get angry.”

His voice was thoroughly softened. He seemed to think Hae-won was scared of his anger. It was infuriating. Hae-won wasn’t afraid of him getting angry or flipping out, nor was he scared of anything.

“I won’t get angry, so get out.”

“Why would you get angry? What did you do right? Smashing someone’s car, smashing someone’s nose. That’s a crime.”

“Don’t provoke me and get out.”

“I told you not to boss me around.”

Hae-won grabbed the door handle Woo-jin was holding and yanked it hard to close the door. Woo-jin’s hand was faster. The door didn’t close, held back by Woo-jin’s grip.

“I really won’t get angry.”

His voice had already softened considerably. Still, it was unbelievable. Hae-won had definitely sensed something akin to a flicker of murderous intent. The sharpness of a blade aimed at his throat.

A hotel employee waiting to park the car, watching their argument, disappeared toward another vehicle.

“How can I believe that? I can’t. I saw you looking at me like you wanted to kill me just now.”

“What will make you believe me?”

“Nothing you do will make me believe you.”

“Nothing I do will make you believe me, and nothing I do will make you get out?”

“That’s right. It’s cold, so close the door.”

Grabbing the car door handle and yanking it, the door closed surprisingly easily. Outside the window, he could see Woo-jin standing there. After a moment of thought, Woo-jin suddenly opened the backseat door and picked up Hae-won’s violin. Hae-won turned around, startled.

“What are you…!”

“Come get it.”

He closed the backseat door and headed into the hotel with the violin case. As if mocking Hae-won’s stubborn refusal to get out, Hae-won jumped out of the car with unusual agility.

“Hey!”

Shouting, Hae-won chased after him. Woo-jin was crossing the lobby, holding the case handle. Hearing Hae-won’s call, he glanced back and stepped into the just-opening elevator, spreading all ten fingers and repeating the number ten twice. His mouth seemed to form the words “twenty.”

“Wait, wait…!”

Ah, no. The violin was being dragged away like a hostage in his hand. Hae-won ran, but couldn’t catch the closing elevator door. He quickly pressed the button and anxiously waited for another elevator. Getting on the one that arrived from behind, he pressed the button for the twentieth floor.

Hae-won frantically pressed the close button as if possessed, preventing anyone else from boarding. Fortunately, the elevator went straight to the twentieth floor. Before the door fully opened, he squeezed through the half-open gap and got out.

The twentieth floor housed a French restaurant. Hyeon Woo-jin was waiting for Hae-won at the restaurant entrance. Hae-won hurriedly caught up and snatched the case from his hand. Woo-jin handed over the violin without resistance.

“Come here.”

He lightly wrapped an arm around Hae-won’s furious shoulders and pushed him into the restaurant first. When Hae-won didn’t move, he gave his back a light shove. Hae-won had no choice but to walk ahead, carrying the violin. Seoul’s finest French restaurant was fully booked.

Heading toward the VIP room, which couldn’t be reserved even a year in advance, he pulled Hae-won by the arm. An employee waiting ahead recognized Woo-jin, knocked on the door, and opened it.

Hae-won followed him inside. In the VIP room sat Han-gyeong Group President Kim Jeong-geun, a middle-aged woman who appeared to be his wife, Henry Chang, and Henry Chang’s mother.

Hae-won’s eyes widened in confusion, and he turned to look at Woo-jin. Woo-jin bowed politely to them.

“I’m sorry. I’m a bit late because I brought my hubae.”

“Ah, right. That’s right. You said your hubae is in our symphony, didn’t you?”

President Kim Jeong-geun, who had already started the meal and was tasting the wine poured by the sommelier, asked. Henry Chang recognized Hae-won and waved in greeting.

Woo-jin took a seat and gestured for Hae-won to sit beside him. Hae-won glared at him, wondering what this was all about with these completely unexpected people, but Woo-jin only gave him a gentle look that said to just sit down and shut up.

“We’ve met before, haven’t we? Haven’t I seen you somewhere?”

President Kim Jeong-geun kindly asked Hae-won, who was hesitating. Hae-won barely suppressed his anger and replied.

“We met at the hotel party last time.”

“Ah, that’s right. Yes. I remember. You were Prosecutor Hyeon’s hubae? What a coincidence.”

Reluctantly, Hae-won greeted President Kim Jeong-geun and sat down. An employee quickly came in to set the table and serve the appetizer. Various types of Western dishes were placed on the table.

“Prosecutor Hyeon’s hubae?”

President Kim Jeong-geun’s wife asked.

“Yes. He graduated from my university.”

“Then we’re alumni too?”

As Woo-jin answered, President Kim Jeong-geun chimed in. Hae-won was learning for the first time now that they had attended the same university. The law school and music school were quite close in location, so they might have passed each other on campus, but Woo-jin was six years his seonbae, and even if they had overlapped, it would have been for a very short period.

President Kim Jeong-geun introduced Woo-jin to Henry Chang as a close friend. Woo-jin politely greeted Henry Chang and his mother.

When the food arrived, Woo-jin glanced subtly at Hae-won. He held up a spoon. With so many utensils laid out, he seemed to be teaching table manners, as if worried Hae-won might make a mistake.

Annoyed that Woo-jin thought he couldn’t handle even these basics, Hae-won made a face and ate on his own.

The conversation focused mainly on Henry Chang and his mother, who had devotedly supported him. As a classical music enthusiast and patron who would call Henry Chang separately to hear him perform, President Kim Jeong-geun and his wife, Henry Chang and his mother, seemed to already know each other. The atmosphere wasn’t awkward or strained.

The conversation continued mostly in English. Having learned it from a young age and prepared for study abroad in the U.S. before his biological mother passed away, Hae-won could participate in the conversation without difficulty. His ears perked up at stories of Henry Chang’s performance tours, collaborations with famous conductors, and behind-the-scenes stories of performances in London or New York.

“But what was your name again?”

President Kim Jeong-geun’s wife suddenly asked Hae-won. She seemed deeply displeased that someone like him was intruding on such an occasion.

“Moon Hae-won, violinist with the Hangyeong Cultural Orchestra.”

As Woo-jin answered for him, she glanced at him briefly before turning her gaze back to Hae-won.

“I’ve never heard of Moon Hae-won. How old are you? Which competition did you win?”

“What does that matter?”

President Kim Jeong-geun frowned at his wife’s rude question.

“I haven’t won any competitions. I was in the symphony but quit, and then fortunately a vacancy opened up because someone was arrested, so I rejoined.”

As Hae-won answered, President Kim Jeong-geun and his wife paused while eating foie gras and looked up simultaneously.

“Someone in the orchestra was arrested?”

President Kim Jeong-geun’s wife asked Woo-jin. The foreigners fell silent during the Korean conversation, calling the sommelier to refill their empty wine glasses.

“There was some embezzlement at the foundation. The arrested member was involved in admissions corruption, not foundation issues. They’re currently detained and undergoing trial.”

“Did you investigate that?”

“That’s how it turned out.”

Woo-jin answered nonchalantly, even to her aggressive questioning.

“How much money do we pour into the orchestra every year? Woo-jin, how could you conduct such an investigation without giving me a heads-up? You’ve tarnished the company’s reputation!”

“You weren’t in Korea at the time, so I couldn’t contact you separately. I apologize.”

“Enough, we have guests. We’ll discuss this later.”

President Kim Jeong-geun scolded her. The woman, undeterred, shifted her gaze from Woo-jin to Hae-won.

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-eight, no, twenty-nine.”

Since his birthday had passed, Hae-won was now twenty-nine. Reflecting that he was already that old, Hae-won replied.

“Don’t you know who I am?”

“You seem to be President Kim’s wife.”

“Seem to be his wife? You really don’t know who I am?”

So even these chaebol wives, when offended, bring up age and ask if you know them, as if the person who knows them best is themselves, demanding self-identification from someone they’ve never met before. Asking about age and whether you know them seems to transcend wealth and status.

Hae-won twisted his face in disdain and said.

“Is this a quiz? I’ll guess if there’s a prize.”

“What?”

“I’m seeing you for the first time today, how would I know who you are?”

As if he would know, Hae-won retorted. The woman’s face flushed.

“What do your parents do? Do you even have parents?”

“I have parents, that’s how I was born. Are there people born without parents?”

Under the table, Woo-jin placed a hand on Hae-won’s thigh as if telling him to stop. He left his hand there. At the bold, sneaky touch, Hae-won raised the fork he was holding. Even with the implied threat to stab him if he didn’t remove his hand, Woo-jin’s hand remained on his thigh.

“Hey, Mr. Moon Hae-won. My wife didn’t mean it like that, she’s upset you didn’t recognize her. Don’t you know Seo Okhwa?”

“Oh my, don’t you know soprano Seo Okhwa?”

Henry Chang’s mother asked, deliberately twisting her Korean pronunciation.

“Madam, she was a famous soprano in her youth. Seo Okhwa… She was a prima donna at the New York Metropolitan. She quit after meeting the president and returning to Korea. That’s why she asked if you knew her. Right, Madam?”

“I don’t know. I guess she wasn’t that famous.”

“How can this be?!”

Hae-won had answered Henry Chang’s mother, but Mrs. Seo Okhwa shouted as if deeply offended. President Kim Jeong-geun, who had been making a bewildered expression, tightly pursed his lips to suppress a laugh about to burst out. Woo-jin’s hand pinched Hae-won’s thigh lightly. Mrs. Seo Okhwa put down her knife and crossed her arms, asking seriously.

“If you’re Woo-jin’s university hubae, you’re not a foreign-educated musician but domestically trained? Music should be studied in its homeland. Are you poor?”

“Oh dear, Madam.”

President Kim Jeong-geun, half-laughing and half-coaxing, grabbed Mrs. Seo Okhwa’s arm as if telling her to stop now. She shook off her husband’s hand and said.

“Then play. Let’s hear how good you are.”

She pointed to the violin Hae-won had placed beside him. Hae-won put down his utensils and stood up. Woo-jin’s hand fell away naturally.

“I’m sorry. I think I’ve been too rude. I shouldn’t have come to such an occasion recklessly. I’ll take my leave now. Enjoy your time.”

Bowing his head, Hae-won picked up his violin.

“Look at him. You have pride for someone like you?”

“Now, now, that’s no way to talk.”

President Kim Jeong-geun sternly scolded the woman. Hae-won slung his violin over his shoulder and said.

“I don’t have pride for someone like me. I do things if I feel like it, and don’t if I don’t. Right now, I don’t feel like it. I don’t like opera, so even though you told me your name, I don’t know who you are. I don’t know every dog and cow in different fields.”

“What, what, what did you say?!”

“Your words are a bit harsh.”

“Were my words harsh? I’m sorry for speaking harshly.”

Glancing at Woo-jin, he was frowning as if troubled. He seemed to be holding back laughter, or perhaps sorrow. Henry Chang and his mother watched Seo Okhwa, whose face was flushed.

“Prosecutor Hyeon, why on earth did you bring someone like that to such an occasion?!”

She shouted displeasedly. Her attitude disregarded Henry Chang and his mother, who were feeling awkward.

“You said you couldn’t come because you had plans with your hubae, and when I heard he was an orchestra member, I insisted you bring him along.”

President Kim Jeong-geun let out a faint sigh.

“I was thoughtless. I’m sorry, but may I excuse myself first?”

Woo-jin also stood up.

“Yes, go ahead. And Mr. Moon Hae-won.”

President Kim Jeong-geun called Hae-won. Hae-won looked at him.

“Not distinguishing between what to say and what not to say isn’t boldness. It’s recklessness. This woman is one of the orchestra foundation’s directors—how are you going to handle the aftermath? What unpleasant thing happened to make you act like that? This isn’t an easy place to be.”

As her husband took Hae-won’s side, Mrs. Seo Okhwa glared sharply at Hae-won as if saying, yeah, what are you going to do about it?

“It’s common for people in high positions to abuse power and swing their influence around. I heard you even replaced the conductor because there was no trace of careful selection in the program. Was that also under Madam’s direction?”

“What? Hey!”

When she shouted, the vocal projection that instantly filled the air was indeed that of a soprano. President Kim Jeong-geun finally became conscious of Henry Chang and his mother. Perhaps feeling a bit embarrassed, he poked Mrs. Seo Okhwa’s side firmly.

“Stop it and apologize quickly. As an adult, you apologize. You were rude.”

“This is really unbelievable. Me? To someone like him? Someone whose name I’ve never even heard?”

“Mr. Moon Hae-won doesn’t know you either. You two are the same. It’s tit for tat.”

“I was a prima donna in New York for over ten years! How can you compare me to someone like that?! If you hadn’t gotten me pregnant, I’d still be active! I’m still this strong!”

Mrs. Seo Okhwa shouted as if truly upset and going mad. A soprano was indeed a soprano. The VIP room echoed, and even when shouting, her voice was beautiful.

“Madam, please calm down. Young people these days are all like that.”

Henry Chang’s mother interjected. Woo-jin grabbed Hae-won’s arm as if he was about to say something more and pulled him out roughly, as if scolding him. With his forearm gripped in Woo-jin’s hand, Hae-won was led out of the French restaurant. After pressing the elevator button, Woo-jin released Hae-won’s arm.

“See? Who told you to take my violin without permission? Do you know how much this is worth? No, do you even know if this can be bought with money?”

“Did you do that to mess with me?”

“I would have done the same no matter who it was.”

“Are you being unreasonable or are you out of your mind? Don’t you know who she is?”

“Why did you bring me to a meal with people I don’t even know?”

“I wanted to have dinner with you today no matter what. I declined the invitation, but when I heard Henry Chang was coming, I thought—you like Henry Chang, right?”

The elevator arrived. Even without being pushed, Hae-won was about to step in when Woo-jin gave his back a light shove. Hae-won entered the elevator and brushed off his hand as if hitting it away, telling him not to touch.

“What?”

“So I wanted to let you meet Henry Chang. That you’re a nutcase was beyond my calculations.”

He meant that he had deliberately brought Hae-won to this occasion to let him meet Henry Chang privately. Although Hae-won liked Henry Chang, he didn’t like him enough to want to meet him personally.

“How do you know whether I like Henry Chang or not? When did I ever say I like him?”

Hae-won had no memory of discussing Henry Chang with him in any detail.

“I didn’t think much of the Beethoven Sonata, but I liked the Brahms.”

“……”

“Of course, it’d be too much for a greenhorn who’s never even held a girl’s hand, wrapped in his mother’s skirt, to handle the Kreutzer.”

He claimed to be a musical layman, yet he spoke as if he knew the hidden story behind the Kreutzer.

“To my untrained ears, you were far better. In many ways.”

I never asked for praise, but he added unnecessary words and stroked my head. Hae-won couldn’t even think of brushing his hand away and just stared blankly.

The fact that he had seen Henry Chang’s performance meant Hyun Woo-jin had come to watch today’s concert. When Hae-won looked at him with wide, surprised eyes, Woo-jin asked.

“Did you think I wasn’t coming?”

“……You didn’t contact me. Earlier, you said you’d be late because of a meeting.”

His lips formed a loose smile.

Getting off the elevator, they followed the parking attendant’s guidance and got into the car. Woo-jin reached out to place Hae-won’s violin in the back seat. Hae-won ignored his gesture, set the case down between his own legs, and hugged it with both arms.

Woo-jin, as if saying do as you please, looked ahead and stepped on the accelerator. Hae-won asked him with a suspicious look.

“Were you really there?”

“Don’t tell me you were sitting there looking so gloomy because you thought I wasn’t coming?”

“Who was gloomy?”

“You were sitting there gloomily. Couldn’t concentrate, turned two pages of the sheet music at once. Didn’t you notice the woman next to you glaring at you? Missed about three measures in the second movement. Luckily, you focused during the Brahms. Making the expression I like.”

“……I thought you weren’t coming.”

Woo-jin had seen everything. In the first part, his sweaty, sticky fingers had turned two pages of the sheet music at once. He hadn’t realized the violinist in the next seat, sharing the music stand, had given him a look and glared. In the second movement, he had pretended to play, missing about three measures, but luckily, he could concentrate during the concerto. He had been watching from the beginning.

“So, you were so pissed at me you were going to get in that bastard’s car? Thinking I wasn’t coming?”

“It was cold, taxis weren’t available, and you didn’t contact me.”

“Because it was cold, because taxis weren’t available, because I bought you bread.”

“……”

“Those bastards accept being pushed around with such things, so why do you never listen to what I say?”

“I thought you weren’t coming. I really thought you weren’t coming.”

“Don’t mess around.”

He glanced at Hae-won and spoke in a cold voice.

“You said you weren’t angry.”

“Thinking about it quietly, I’m too pissed off. I think I should get angry.”

“But are you okay? You were sitting in the car when it collided earlier.”

Hae-won suddenly reached out and touched Woo-jin’s chest. He wondered where it might have been hit. Lee Jin-young’s nose was broken, and the rear of the SUV was completely crumpled. His car’s bonnet was also dented. It was quite a big accident. As Hae-won slid his hand inside Woo-jin’s jacket and fumbled over his chest area, Woo-jin spoke without any change in expression.

“Doing that won’t make my anger go away.”

“Are you really okay? Shouldn’t you go to the hospital? Are you sure you’re not hurt anywhere?”

“Take your hand off.”

“Does it hurt here? It might hurt a bit here.”

“Moon Hae-won.”

“Maybe it hurts lower down? Are you okay around between your legs? The area between the legs is really important. I haven’t even had a chance to see it yet.”

“Hae-won-ah.”

“……”

He called his name. Not angrily, just softly, but Hae-won’s chest tightened. Hae-won subtly withdrew the hand that had been touching his chest and stomach.

“Yesterday, we couldn’t eat facing each other, and today we couldn’t either. I want to sit quietly facing you and have dinner.”

Let’s stop, he said, as if tired.

Hae-won thought Woo-jin hadn’t come. He thought he was ignoring him, not even contacting him. But he had seen everything. Because he thought Hae-won liked Henry Chang, he had forcibly gotten Hae-won into that position to let him meet him.

Because I like it, because he wanted to see the expression I like.

Like riding a rollercoaster multiple times, all day today, Hae-won’s mood had gone up and down because of Woo-jin, suffering from emotional fluctuations that changed by the second. It didn’t matter whether he came or not; he had even said with his own mouth that he didn’t need to come, but when Woo-jin didn’t come, Hae-won felt not just disappointment but even betrayal. Yet, the tantrum he had thrown at him vanished as if it were a lie, and a warm emotion swelled up in his chest.

Dangerous. A warning sounded. Not a siren, but music.

“But earlier, you said ‘hey’ to me, right?”

“You should be grateful I didn’t curse at a thief.”

“I’m really going to get scolded.”

“Are you going to have our Father arrest me again? Go ahead and have me arrested. I can’t stand the sight of him anyway.”

If he told him to call him Hyung, he could call him that now. He wanted to call him by that insignificant title, but remembering the time he had stubbornly refused to call him that as told, Hae-won couldn’t easily open his mouth. He only said nonsensical things.

“Where are you going, old man?”

“To have dinner.”

“What are you going to eat?”

“Whatever you want to eat.”

“Forget the old man’s taste, hamburgers for my taste.”

“I told you not to eat trash.”

“Old folks might not get it, but having chain stores all over the world means the taste is verified. It’s a taste loved by people worldwide.”

“……”

While driving, he turned to look at Hae-won. Hae-won met Woo-jin’s eyes. After staring meaningfully at Hae-won’s face, he looked forward again. He wore an inexplicable smile, one that at a glance seemed like a sneer.

They had dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant. After dinner, they went for a riverside drive. By the time they arrived at the Officetel, it was already close to eleven. Today was a suitable Friday evening for a date, and he had done things worth doing with someone worth meeting on a Friday evening. It was a classic date course.

Before he knew it, Hae-won’s violin was in his hand. Hae-won stopped walking in front of the Officetel door.

“You must be tired, go to bed early. Don’t do anything else.”

“……”

“What. Do you have something to say?”

“Hey.”

Hae-won knew he was crawling on all fours towards Woo-jin. He also knew that Hae-won was crawling on the floor towards him. He didn’t force him to submit; he made him do it himself. Hae-won began to describe his feelings towards him with verbs and adjectives.

He liked him. He came to like the man Tae-shin had liked. It was unbelievable and couldn’t be believed. They already knew each other but didn’t speak it aloud, just stood there looking at each other. Woo-jin’s warm hand stroked Hae-won’s cheek, and he spoke in an affectionate voice.

“Go inside. Sleep well.”

Hae-won asked him, who seemed about to leave.

“Where’s my toy?”

His eyebrows raised.

“I threw it away. I was so disgusted that someone else touched it, I completely destroyed it so no one could touch it.”

He didn’t know how one could destroy metal, but if it was Woo-jin, he seemed capable of doing just that.

“Buy me the same one.”

“I’ll give you something better than that.”

“I don’t need it. Buy me the same one.”

“Stop the noisy talk and go inside.”

He tried to leave again.

“Hyun Woo-jin.”

He grabbed him as he turned. His face turned back towards Hae-won. He wanted to endlessly gaze into those eyes looking down at him silently. If possible, all night long. Throughout the entire night, just like that, endlessly.

“Woo-jin Hyung.”

“Yeah, that sounds so good to hear.”

“Don’t go.”

“……”

“Don’t go.”

Hae-won had never held onto anyone before. He didn’t know how to hold onto someone. He grabbed the hem of his clothes and didn’t let go. There must be a more sophisticated, better expression; there must be words that could move and stimulate his heart, but like an idiot, Hae-won bluntly said, holding tightly to the hem of his clothes, don’t go. Not a plea to stay, but a command burst out. At least Tae-shin probably didn’t cling to him so pitifully.

“I used up my whole day on you. Do you know how much work piled up?”

“Still, don’t go.”

“You must be tired from the performance. Go to bed early.”

“Quit being a prosecutor. Working that much is illegal.”

“What meddling. Go inside. It’s cold.”

He really seemed about to leave just like that. As he turned, seeing Hae-won not letting go of his clothes, he looked at him with an expression telling him to let go, placatingly. Hae-won was clinging to him like a child.

He didn’t want to let go. Hae-won suddenly realized what the feelings of those who had clung to him must have been like. Hae-won hadn’t turned away coldly; he had ignored them. He didn’t want to pay attention to others’ emotions. He thought it was common sense that the person who dropped something should pick it up themselves.

“Why are you like this.”

He finally showed irritation. His expression stabbed Hae-won’s chest. Hae-won was crawling towards him helplessly, exactly as he intended.

“I have something to say.”

“What is it.”

It was something they both knew. Woo-jin now pretended not to know and asked. What on earth did he want to say, making such a fuss?

“I have those feelings.”

“What feelings. What do you want to say.”

“Not just anyone……, the desire to take off my clothes in front of Hyun Woo-jin.”

“……”

“Not just anyone, I want to take off my clothes in front of Hyun Woo-jin. And I want to take off Hyun Woo-jin’s clothes.”

“Be clear about the premise. Only in front of me?”

“I want to take them off. In front of Hyun Woo-jin.”

“……”

“But.”

Hae-won eventually yielded to him. He finally said it. His stubbornness and pride were shattered like the wrecked vehicle, but it didn’t matter. Hae-won was desperately urging him. Crawling on all fours, kissing the top of his feet, pitifully craving his affection. Something was crumbling, but he didn’t dislike it. It seemed okay to crumble in front of Woo-jin.

Woo-jin, facing Hae-won directly without any agitation at the clearly premised statement, stood still. He wasn’t happy, nor did he rejoice as if he had won. He was just calm, wearing an inscrutable expressionless face.

His quiet voice echoed in the hallway. It was a tone that pointed out each matter that needed to be addressed.

“You can’t do it alone. Absolutely no toys. Other people are obviously not allowed. If you do, it won’t end with just a contact accident like today.”

Hae-won nodded carefully, agreeing with his words.

“And you have to perform for me. Even if you hate others watching, you have to do it in front of me.”

Hae-won nodded to that too. Woo-jin reached past Hae-won’s shoulder, quickly entered the door lock password, and pressed his lips against his.

∞ ∞ ∞

He carelessly dropped the billion-won Guadanini on the floor. Hae-won wrapped his arms around his neck, let out a frustrated breath, and fiercely sucked on the man’s lips. In front of the entrance, unable to even take off their shoes, they embraced each other and kissed frantically. The man’s fiercely heated body temperature and scent softly enveloped Hae-won. Grabbing his cheek fully and kissing, hanging onto his neck, he tightly grasped the hem of the clothes on his back.

The moist flesh that entered his mouth tangled fiercely with his own. Their embraced bodies swayed together in the urgent kiss. Hae-won’s back thudded against the entrance door. Before hitting the door, Woo-jin’s hand quickly grabbed the back of Hae-won’s head.

Lifting Hae-won’s waist, who was twisting and sinking to one knee, Woo-jin pressed his lips back against the parted ones.

It was different from previous kisses. It was a contact so strong it blocked breathing. His lips felt bitten. It wouldn’t be strange to lose his mind like this. Hae-won gripped the hem of his clothes as if to tear them.

His kiss, licking the mucous membrane, licking the entire inside of the mouth, wetly sucking and swallowing, was like a wild beast. It was the carnivorous desire he wanted to strip and see even if he was being devoured.

Even when they barely parted lips and exchanged ragged breaths, they still hadn’t taken off their shoes. He gently licked Hae-won’s lower lip, nibbling with his teeth.

Hae-won gave him his lips and took off his shoes. He also took off his shoes. With lips still attached, Hae-won took off his coat and threw it on the entrance floor where shoes were scattered, and with eager hands, grabbed Woo-jin’s necktie and pulled it off. He undid the shirt buttons too. He wanted to quickly remove everything covering his body, every minute and second. As Hae-won pressed close and undid the buttons, Woo-jin stopped his hand, parted lips, and spoke.

“Haah, where are you touching.”

“I want to strip you. I want to strip you.”

Hae-won pushed him onto the bed. Woo-jin, stepping back with lips attached, plopped down onto the bed. Hae-won immediately climbed onto his thighs. He took off his jacket. It caught on his arm and didn’t come off easily. He put his arm back and hurriedly took it off himself. They were frantic, panting as they tried to strip each other’s clothes.

He touched the buttons of his shirt. Each time Woo-jin took a sharp breath, the shirt seemed about to tear, the button gap widening. Woo-jin took off Hae-won’s shirt. Both had too many buttons. Fumbling, their lips collided. As he undid the buttons, he bit Hae-won’s lip, muttered some curse, and tore at the shirt.

When Hae-won’s top came off, Woo-jin threw off his own shirt, which Hae-won hadn’t finished removing. Already heated hands swept over the bare upper body. Hae-won, sitting on his thighs, embraced Woo-jin’s bare back, feeling the texture under his palms. His lower back was elastic and smooth. He rubbed his lips against his shoulder. A faint, ticklish scent of skin was smelled.

His hand caressed Hae-won’s dry spine. The sensation of bare skin being stroked by that earnest touch was indescribable. His mind was becoming completely dizzy.

He pulled Woo-jin’s neck and kissed him again. The tongue that parted his lips and entered ravaged the inside. Their tongues rubbed against each other. Hae-won swirled his tongue as if enveloping his, sucking Woo-jin’s saliva greedily. From in front of the entrance, he subtly pushed and rubbed his erect lower part against him, and suddenly, the man kissing him parted his lips and moved away.

“Haah, what should I do with you?”

His darkened eyes asked. That was what Hae-won wanted to ask. He wanted to do something to him so badly he felt like he was going crazy. He touched Woo-jin’s wet lips. His tongue licked Hae-won’s fingers fumbling over his lips. Hae-won moved his hand down, past Woo-jin’s chin, neck, collarbone, and touched his firm chest.

When he touched his body, circling his nipple and areola with his fingers, Hae-won flinched as if he were the one being touched. It was as if he had applied something all over his body. As if he had draped something over himself. He was smearing all over his body something he kept wanting to touch, rub with his lips, suck with his tongue. He passed over the abdomen with clearly defined abdominal muscles and past the navel.

Hae-won, rising slightly from his thighs on his knees, slid his hand between Woo-jin’s waist. Pushing past the pubic bone deep inside, sinking his body along with his arm, his hand touched his.

The clearly erect genitals amidst the black bush were sticky with hot moisture. As he swept over the distinctly outlined shape, he undid the buckle, lowered the zipper, and exposed the lower body.

“Ah…….”

This was Hae-won’s first time facing his. The tip was already sticky with mucus. The dense pubic hair brushed the back of his hand. It was thick and long enough that even with his long fingers, he couldn’t fully grasp the circumference. His breathing passage tightened.

He undid Hae-won’s pants buckle and lowered the zipper. His own was also standing erect from extreme tension and excitement. Pulling the underwear down to its limit, he grasped Hae-won’s genitals with one hand. Squeezing as if to burst them. Hae-won let out something that was neither a scream nor a gasp.

“Aah……!”

Hae-won wrapped both hands around his, squeezing tightly. He looked down at him. Their lips collided and clung, tongues tangling. His hand and his own moved quickly, stimulating each other. As the stimulation increased, his chest sank deeply. Breath scattered violently through lips that felt about to burst from heat.

His spine tingled, and it hurt as if all blood was rushing downward. Hae-won momentarily stiffened all over. He came in his hand. His uncontrollable body trembled, releasing as if urinating. The lips trembling with pleasure were completely sealed by him. Hae-won could neither exhale nor inhale the roughly bursting breath.

Woo-jin’s genitals, gripped and stroked desperately, only gradually swelled in volume, showing no sign of release. The image of him having an orgasm from just a brief touch yesterday at the hotel flashed through Hae-won’s mind, but he soon forgot it, breathless.

Hae-won pounded his shoulders, begging to be let go. Hyun Woo-jin held the back of his head with a large hand while using his other hand to tightly grip his own genitals, blocking his lips. He needed oxygen. His breathing had reached its limit. His mind grew distant, as if from dizziness. Hyun Woo-jin’s fingers caressed the penis that had just ejaculated. Strength drained from his body. As he went limp, Hyun Woo-jin released the back of Hae-won’s head.

“Hah, hah, hah……!”

He gulped in air all at once. A cough burst out. His throat tickled. Hae-won’s chest heaved violently as he breathed like someone who had just emerged from water.

The genitals that had soaked his lower abdomen in a thin fluid were trembling faintly. The pleasure that had dominated his entire body intermittently struck his lower back and passed through.

The man holding Hae-won’s buttocks pulled him straight onto the bed. Laying Hae-won on the bed, he stripped off the pants and underwear tangled around his legs all at once. Hyun Woo-jin climbed on top of Hae-won. Hae-won looked up at him with vision blurred by trickling tears.

Hyun Woo-jin was watching him intently in this situation. His eyes were not clouded with desire or lust. They held an indescribable gaze, a mix of curiosity, or perhaps hesitation and fear before crossing a line. Those eyes swept down Hae-won’s naked body. Each time his gaze passed, a sharp pain like being struck with a thin whip was felt. From the tip of Hyun Woo-jin’s genitals, tightly pressed against his lower abdomen, sticky precum glistened.

“Getting excited alone, shaking alone, and finishing alone.”

His voice was calm, but his rushing gaze flickered in the darkness. It was the same vicious, matte black he had seen in the dark forest. Hyun Woo-jin firmly lifted Hae-won’s slightly drooping head, fixed his gaze, and pinched Hae-won’s cheek as if telling him to snap out of it. The jaw and cheekbone gripped by him hurt intensely. With slightly furrowed brows, he spoke as if displeased.

“I told you not to do it alone.”

“I didn’t do it alone. Hyung touched me.”

“Finishing alone is doing it alone. Don’t come as you please. From now on, you come when I allow it.”

When Hae-won stared silently, Hyun Woo-jin grabbed his jaw and cheekbone again with a crushing grip, as if asking if he understood, if he properly comprehended his words. Hae-won barely nodded. He scraped the mucus-like substance from his own stomach with his hand and smeared it between Hae-won’s legs. Hae-won’s eyes moved in turn over the arm descending into the secret space, the shoulder and chest connected to that arm, and the face. After wetting his lower part with sticky fluid, he was now subtly touching it with his fingers. His lower body twitched. He looked at Hae-won with only his pupils.

“Childish as it is, I wonder how many people have been in and out of this hole.”

“Even if I used all my fingers and toes……, still, ngh, still not enough.”

“Stop babbling. There are jokes that are pleasant to hear, and jokes that are disgusting to hear.”

“You asked first.”

“No need to remind me. I’m already in a bad mood. When I think of who might have fucked around here, I want to chase them down right now and crush their skull. Don’t provoke me, shut up.”

The affection, the gentleness, the caution—all that tone had vanished without a trace. Hyun Woo-jin felt unfamiliar. The composed face, meticulously woven, showed no trace of the consideration he had shown Hae-won.

This unfamiliar man was bewildering. He was not the person who had only kissed him at the door, let him in, and stroked his head as if finding him cute while subtly stimulating him.

His body trembled finely from instinctive fear. He didn’t dislike this Hyun Woo-jin either. Now, everything about him was good. What was thrusting between his legs looked like a weapon capable of assault.

Hae-won awkwardly looked up at him. He slowly swept over Hae-won’s body. Both hands slid down the inside of his spread thighs from the knees. His hands were large enough to completely cover Hae-won’s thighs. With each pass of his hands, the areas turned white from the pressure of his thumbs, then soon reddened.

Grabbing Hae-won’s legs and lifting them, Hyun Woo-jin pressed his lips to the areas his hands had swept over. He licked and teased with his lips and tongue, even chewing the flesh with his teeth. Hae-won gripped the sheets with both hands. His heart pounded with extreme tension and anticipation. His lips gradually approached the center. The penis that had already ejaculated once twitched and released something. Blood rushed, making the inside of his thighs feel tight and the flesh rise again. As he selectively licked the sensitive inner thighs with his long, extended tongue, he suddenly buried his face in Hae-won’s groin without warning.

“Ah!”

Hae-won realized, while grabbing the hair of the man sucking at his lower part like an animal, that the affection he had shown was all a meticulously calculated pretense, no different from a gentleman’s polite manners. This blatant act was the appetite he had so desperately wanted to uncover.

His scalp was hot with warmth. When Hae-won painfully tightened his thighs, the insides of his flesh touched Hyun Woo-jin’s cheeks. The inside of his mouth, sucking on his tongue, was hot and squishy.

Hae-won moaned as if hallucinating. The man sucking his penis spat it out and licked downward. His wet tongue touched the perineum. His thighs tightened reflexively.

“Ah, ngh! Ah, don’t, don’t…, stop, stop……!”

Unable to bear the unbearable sexual sensation, his legs lifted in the air trembled violently, his toes spreading like a fan and then curling tightly enough to turn white, writhing repeatedly, but the center held by him couldn’t even budge from its place.

“Out, ugh! Out! I’m going to come!”

It wasn’t the feeling of ejaculation. It was different. Something else. Hae-won felt his mind go blank as if in a dizzying bout of anemia and frantically struck his shoulders. The man with a flushed face lifted his head from where it was buried between his thighs.

“Hah, hah…….”

He wiped his wet lips with the back of his hand. The barely suppressed sensation cut through his flesh like a razor blade.

Hyun Woo-jin took Hae-won’s hand and made him touch his genitals. The trembling hand grasped Hyun Woo-jin’s. No strength entered his pale fingertips. His fingers only weakly caressed the skin hot as iron. He grabbed Hae-won’s buttocks with both hands and spread them apart.

“Ngh!”

The hole twitched. The gaze watching the fully exposed area narrowed. Hae-won struggled with his legs to escape his violent stare. He had never been ashamed of such things before, and he had even lifted his buttocks and masturbated with toys in front of him, yet his face grew hot under the blatant gaze. And then, without warning, the man thrust into his lower part.

Without any consideration or preparation, his penis pierced through below, pushing aside his insides and burying itself inside. A tearing pain was felt immediately.

Hae-won grabbed his shoulders tightly. He was not the Hyun Woo-jin from last night, who had been impressively patient and restrained.

“Hah, ngh! Ugh! Ngh!”

He had no moderation. No order, no control of intensity. From the start, he pushed in forcefully and continued to thrust strongly. It felt like being punched in the abdomen.

“It hurts, ah, ngh! It hurts! Ah!”

Hae-won screamed. Hyun Woo-jin looked down at him with a calm face that made it hard to believe he was doing such a thing, as if completely separating his upper and lower body, while brushing back Hae-won’s sweat-dampened, disheveled hair and then tightly grabbing his hair. The flesh pulled as if the hair was being ripped out.

Thud, thud—the sound of flesh colliding was not the lewd noise of intercourse but the noise of someone being assaulted.

“Ugh! Ngh! It hurts, it hurts! Huh, ngh!”

Tears burst forth. Hae-won sobbed and grabbed the forearm of the hand clutching his hair. The arm exerting immeasurable force twitched with taut, stretched muscles. He was breathing shallowly.

Each time he thrust his lower body, heavy force entered his tightly closed lips. The intensity only grew stronger, never weakening.

The genitals pounding inside and pulling out only to thrust back in immediately were incomparable to any toy. No one had ever crushed him with such force before.

This was Hae-won’s first time experiencing sex that felt physically trampling. With each shake of his head, tears splattered. The hand holding his hair grabbed his cheek and fixed his head in place.

“You… when you perform, ngh, you make this face.”

Even as he violently thrust below, Hyun Woo-jin’s breathing remained almost undisturbed. Hot tears flowed past Hae-won’s temples and fell to his ears. Tears wet his hand. He licked up Hae-won’s tears as they flowed over his palm and the back of his hand.

“Why are you crying?”

“It hurts, it hurts, ngh, ugh!”

“Fingers, toes, huh? Even if you used them all, ngh, the bastards who fucked your hole…, hah, Hae-won-ah, you said there were too many to count……!”

“Ah!”

His chin lifted, and his chest suddenly rose. With each broken syllable, the angry man’s genitals buried themselves inside.

“Doing it like that…, as if it’s your first time, hah, why are you crying?”

Hae-won tightly closed his eyes, filled with tears. He couldn’t hear what the man was saying. Hyun Woo-jin bent over and took Hae-won’s nipple into his mouth. He bit the areola and nipple together, chewing forcefully. A sharp pleasure struck his lower back like a whip.

“Ah! Ah, don’t!”

His groin tightened unconsciously. Hae-won’s constricted inner walls clenched around the genitals tearing their way in.

“Ngh…….”

Hyun Woo-jin furrowed his brow and released his lips. Teeth marks remained clearly on the right chest he had bitten. His forehead was damp with sweat. Sweat glistened on his chest too. Staring intently at Hae-won, who looked terrified, he bowed his head again and buried his face fully in Hae-won’s chest.

“Ah! Ah, ngh!”

Each time he chewed and sucked on the nipple, his lower part tightened, and Hyun Woo-jin matched it, winding his tongue around the nipple as he thrust his hips in. The carnivorous act of biting his flesh was filled with clear hostility and malice. It felt like Hyun Woo-jin was punishing him. The aggressive thrusts grew rough and hurried. It felt as if the space between his legs was being torn apart.

“Hah, when I suck here, it trembles.”

“Ugh……, ngh!”

Their perfectly joined lower bodies shook together. Sweat streamed down his bare chest as he thrust his hips repeatedly upward. After pushing in to the root and fully enjoying Hae-won’s wet insides, he pulled out. The thoroughly wet lower part slammed in with a lewd sound, sickening to hear—thud, thud.

He bowed his head and kissed him. Overlapping lips, a squishy tongue pushing in—it ravaged his mouth just like below. Hae-won grabbed Hyun Woo-jin’s sticky, sweaty nape. The boundary between pleasure and pain blurred. Moans mixed with sobs scattered from the lips deeply swallowing his tongue. Teeth clashed, flesh was crushed.

He released his lips and simultaneously thrust his hips upward quickly. Hae-won clung to his neck as if to die. His convulsing body was submerged in rising ecstasy. His genitals rubbed against Hyun Woo-jin’s lower abdomen. When he thrust upward, Hae-won rubbed his trembling genitals against the man’s firm stomach. Instinct groped for pleasure. His breathing quickened. He felt something approaching.

“Ah, ah… touch me, touch me, below, ah, ngh……!”

Their touching cheeks were hot. Hyun Woo-jin lowered his hand and grasped Hae-won’s fully erect genitals. When his palm touched the overly sensitive skin, a sharp pleasure made Hae-won’s lower body twitch.

“You…, when I say come, hah, that’s when you come. Don’t do as you please……!”

“Ah! Hah, ngh!”

The thumb circling the tip tightly blocked the urethra and pressed down on the flesh. His genitals expanded, and pain surged. His limbs went limp.

“Let go, let go! Let go, ah!”

His voice was already hoarse. The husky, cracked voice pleaded with Hyun Woo-jin. Sobs and pained moans, begging for climax while lewdly panting. Even as his rationality evaporated, Hae-won felt unfamiliar with this other side of himself he had never heard or experienced before.

It happened as he said. He said he would punish him. Hae-won was on all fours, begging Hyun Woo-jin with tearful sobs to let something drip from below. As if keeping a promise, he was realizing his own words in this way.

“Let me come, let go! Hah, ngh! Ah, ngh!”

Unable to ejaculate, his entire body convulsed.

“Alright. Don’t cry. Huh? Hah, I’ll let you come.”

He whispered in his ear. Hyun Woo-jin’s penis, which had been thrusting in and out so fast it shook Hae-won’s body, plunged deep between his legs like a harpoon. It pushed into an unreachable place, stiffening his entire body. His hips twitched and froze. The flesh buried in his inner walls, as if splitting him apart, trembled like a vibration, shaking Hae-won. Veins bulged on his forehead as he ejaculated. Both breathing and movement froze into momentary stillness.

“Kgh……!”

At the same time, he released Hae-won’s genitals. What he had been holding back was not semen.

“Hah, ngh! Ugh……!”

A liquid like urine spurted out. He panted violently, trying to hold it back, but it wouldn’t stop. It was uncontrollable. A transparent, warm fluid gushed out for a surprisingly long time. Warm water soaked Hae-won’s stomach and chest abundantly, flowing down his sides.

He stared at Hae-won, trembling as he came, with slightly surprised eyes. Hyun Woo-jin’s pupils sparkled with interest. Having never experienced this before, Hae-won thought he had urinated and covered his face with both hands, gritting his teeth. Tears welled up.

Hyun Woo-jin, with a distorted forehead, pushed his ejaculated genitals in a little further, inserting them until his testicles were pressed down. As he pushed in forcefully, the extra fluid remaining at the tip of Hae-won’s flesh trickled out, wetting the penis and pubic hair.

He teased Hae-won several times, thrusting inside, and each time, Hae-won released a thin, trickling fluid from his genitals. He slowly pulled out the penis buried in his perineum. The thing that had stimulated his abdomen like a blunt object disappeared. A sense of emptiness and inexplicable sorrow washed over him. The man’s semen flowed out, warmly soaking his groin.

“Huh, ngh…….”

Like this, in this way—this was his first time having sex where both body and mind were a mess. There was no minimal connection, no affection felt. Whether he liked or disliked someone, or felt nothing at all, the relationships he had with others were never like this. Even if he didn’t like them, it was never this desolate. It was an act far removed from what Hae-won had expected.

Moans and sobs spilled from his tightly clenched teeth. And above all, the shame of being unable to hold back his urine and wetting himself in front of him was unbearable for Hae-won. Overwhelming self-loathing and humiliation covered his entire body. Hae-won had never felt such emotions toward himself before. What he had just shattered was not Hae-won’s body but the time he had lived as Moon Hae-won, the spirit that had sustained him.

He could feel Hyun Woo-jin staring down at him, unable to move or lower his hands, trembling and crying.

“Go… just go.”

Hae-won spoke with a hoarse voice, swallowing his tears. He grabbed Hae-won’s hands, which were covering and clutching his own face. Hae-won resisted, not wanting to be pulled away, but he couldn’t overcome Hyun Woo-jin’s brute strength. He looked at the pitiful face crying, completely broken.

He lifted Hae-won’s upper body. Hae-won bent his legs and curled his body into a ball. Hyun Woo-jin forcibly lifted Hae-won’s chin. Hae-won looked at him with wet eyes.

“Say I’m just anyone again.”

“…….”

“Am I just anyone?”

He wasn’t just anyone, but he wasn’t the Hyun Woo-jin he knew either. If he didn’t know him well, at the very least, he wasn’t the Hyun Woo-jin that Moon Hae-won knew.

Hae-won shook his head. His sobs deepened, and his diaphragm trembled violently. He looked like a child trying hard to suppress the residual tremors after a fierce cry.

He didn’t want to be seen soaked in urine, wet and messy. Hyun Woo-jin stubbornly held onto Hae-won, who tried to turn away, and swept his hand over Hae-won’s wet chest and stomach.

“Don’t do that!”

“…….”

Even as Hae-won recoiled in shock and tried to stop him, he silently, sloppily smeared the wetness from his own hand onto his cheek without a care. Hae-won’s eyes widened in horror.

He wiped what was on Hae-won’s body several times and rubbed it onto his own cheek and chin, then ran his long, wet tongue up the length of his damp palm.

Only then, seeing him like that, did Hae-won realize that what he had been unable to hold back and had erupted wasn’t urine. He didn’t know what it was, but it was definitely that kind of secretion that comes out when one is excessively sexually stimulated.

It really had been unbearable. The soles of his feet and his toes were hot and itchy, his lower abdomen and thighs were stiff and also tingling, and that skin-burning itch was a sensation impossible to describe in words.

“I’m surprised a kid as clueless as you didn’t know about that.”

He spoke. He wore the same expression as when he had patted Hae-won’s head, as if finding him cute. The gap between him with clothes on and him with clothes off was on the level of hell and heaven.

Hae-won wanted to avoid him. As Hae-won struggled to get up, he grabbed his wrist and sat him back down.

“Where are you going?”

“I want to wash up.”

“We’re just getting started, why already.”

“……”

“If you shower every time, you’ll ruin your pretty skin.”

Hyun Woo-jin met Hae-won’s eyes and lowered his head. Staring at Hae-won until the end, Hyun Woo-jin swallowed Hae-won’s red, swollen nipple.

End of Volume 3

1] Jelly d’Aranyi: Hungarian violinist

2] D minor

3] Fritz Kreisler: Austrian-born American violinist and composer

4] Abbreviation for Stradivarius