3 – Chapter 3

The party didn’t end until one in the morning. The piano was exhausted, and the quartet was beyond words. They had practiced for over five hours. Anyway, Hae-won had made up for all the missed practice time to his heart’s content and gotten paid too.

He stuffed the cash from the envelope into his jacket’s inner pocket. The banquet hall, now emptied of guests, felt desolate and chillingly empty, perhaps because the music had vanished, or perhaps because the warmth had dissipated.

Hae-won stood near the hotel entrance, waiting for his seonbae who had gone to get the car. He wrapped the scarf given by the nameless man around his neck. The air was even colder in the dead of night. Winter was ripening.

The staff, who had been visible here and there, had also disappeared, and there was no one around the entrance. Staring at the driveway where cars exited, he lowered his head and waited for his seonbae’s car to come out from the parking area behind the hotel. He wished he would come out quickly. As the cold seeped in, he pulled the scarf up over his nose.

A sleek gray car, resembling the city’s ashen hue, stopped in front of Hae-won. It wasn’t his seonbae’s car. Hae-won stood still, staring blankly. The car window rolled down.

“Need a ride? I’m heading to Seoul.”

“…….”

Unexpectedly, the person sitting in the driver’s seat was Prosecutor Hyun Woo-jin. The man whose fiancée had committed suicide—if he were like his seonbae, he would have cut ties with anything that reminded him of his dead fiancée, yet he still acted like Kim Jeong-geun’s son-in-law.

The man born into a family of doctors who rejected the family business and chose a different path. The man Tae-shin had a crush on. The man Tae-shin had called twenty times before he died.

It was a sudden offer. The thought crossed his mind that Woo-jin might have overheard his seonbae’s backbiting, gossiping about how he must be pleased that his marriage fell apart after his fiancée’s suicide, leaving him looking like a dog chasing a chicken only to end up staring at the roof. He didn’t know Hae-won, but Hae-won knew more about Hyun Woo-jin than he’d expected.

He had been with a woman at the hotel. Tae-shin had a crush on him. And he had slept with him. Even though he had a woman, he had slept with Tae-shin. Whether it was a one-night fling, or whether he slept with Tae-shin once or twice out of pity for Tae-shin confessing his feelings, Hae-won didn’t know the details, but he had a rough idea. Even down to the fact that his fiancée, pessimistic about life after an accident, had committed suicide. Hae-won unintentionally knew the significant life narrative of a stranger who knew nothing about him.

Hae-won averted his gaze from him, looked toward the parking lot, and said, “I’m waiting for a car.”

“Who, that other violinist? His car doesn’t seem like it can get out right now. Someone parked like a dog, I heard.”

“…….”

Hae-won craned his neck, looking for his seonbae who wasn’t coming. The number of cars exiting from behind the hotel had significantly decreased. Not a single car, nor even a glimpse of a person, was visible, and the cold grew nastier as the night deepened.

“Get in. If you’re going to Seoul, I’ll give you a ride. Or go inside and wait since it’s cold. It might take a while.”

“It’s fine.”

As he politely declined the offer, Hae-won’s phone rang. It was his seonbae. Woo-jin’s words weren’t false. It seemed the valet had lost the key to the car parked in front of his seonbae’s car. The call was to say he couldn’t move the car and to wait a bit longer. Hearing the conversation, Woo-jin raised an eyebrow as if to say ‘I told you so’ after Hae-won hung up.

Hae-won let out a small sigh and opened the door of the gray car. Carrying his violin case, he got into the passenger seat.

“Put it in the back. It’ll be uncomfortable.”

As Hae-won placed the case between his legs, Woo-jin pointed to the back seat. When Hae-won twisted his torso to move the case to the back, Woo-jin took it and placed it on the rear seat. The distance between them momentarily shrank. A scent wafted over. It was a fresh, soft body fragrance.

“Aren’t you going to call?”

He asked. Hae-won looked at him, asking what he meant.

“Shouldn’t you tell him you’re leaving first?”

“Ah.”

Hae-won called his seonbae. He said he got a ride to Seoul and was leaving first. His seonbae said it was a shame and to look forward to next time. Hae-won didn’t know what was so shameful, but he said okay and hung up.

Leaving the hotel behind, the car sped down the darkened road.

After driving silently for a while, passing through a quiet forest path and entering the main road, he asked where Hae-won lived. His voice, breaking the over ten minutes of silence in the car since he told him to put the violin in the back, was a serious, low tone. Hae-won told him the subway station near the nameless man’s apartment.

“I asked earlier if I’d seen you somewhere before.”

“…….”

“I remembered.”

It seemed he remembered while his seonbae was chattering about him. For a moment, Hae-won’s heart twinged slightly, as if caught red-handed while badmouthing Woo-jin when he turned and looked at him.

“You don’t remember, do you?”

“I’m not sure. Where did you see me?”

Hae-won asked with a face showing no recollection at all. Hae-won had seen Woo-jin at the hotel and at the funeral. At the hotel, he was with a woman, and at the funeral of the man who ultimately chose suicide after confessing his feelings, Woo-jin had kindly come to pay his respects.

“We saw each other at the police station. Don’t you remember?”

“Ah.”

“Do you remember now?”

Hae-won nodded.

“You had your violin with you then too, right?”

“I carry it everywhere.”

“You’re Tae-shin’s friend, right? I’m currently investigating that case. Moon Hae-won.”

“…….”

He even knew his name. When Hae-won said nothing, he continued.

“I heard you and Tae-shin were high school classmates.”

“Yes.”

“I think Tae-shin mentioned you too. Said he had a friend who does music.”

“Did he?”

“He said if he were reborn, he’d want to be born as that friend.”

“…….”

Hae-won’s face turned automatically. His eyes, with one hand on the steering wheel, lingered on Hae-won for a dangerously long time while driving.

This was the first he’d heard of it. He hadn’t known Tae-shin thought that way.

What about him seemed so appealing? He had no plans, no ambitious dreams, just living today to live tomorrow. Hae-won didn’t engage in any deep thought. He didn’t work hard either. He was old enough but hated working.

He threatened his father to use his credit card and ended up falling out of favor with his stepmother. He had a father who prioritized his mistress over his own child, and he lost both his card and his home. That was the state of the person Tae-shin said he wanted to be reborn as.

Committing suicide meant he thought too much. Thinking, deep contemplation, consumed a person and sank them like a swamp. Tae-shin thought too much.

“I don’t know why he said that.”

“Well. People always envy what they don’t have.”

The conversation soon ended. They drove on in silence. He glanced sideways at Hae-won, who was staring straight ahead.

“You must have been close friends with Tae-shin.”

“We just knew each other. We weren’t close.”

“That day, Tae-shin called his mother. They talked for about five minutes. Then he called me. It was when his younger sister was in a slump and making things hard for Tae-shin. When I didn’t answer, he called you, Moon Hae-won. You didn’t answer either. He kept calling on his phone for over an hour. He was barefoot. The coroner said the frostbite on his feet occurred before he died. He stood barefoot on the snow-covered rooftop of a building for hours.”

Hae-won didn’t want to imagine Tae-shin’s death. He didn’t want to know what state he was in, what he was feeling. He didn’t want to know, didn’t want to hear, but Woo-jin chattered on in an even lower tone.

“His father probably couldn’t accept his son’s death. Tae-shin’s father requested a police investigation. He seemed to think he was hanging out with bad friends. The police forwarded the case to me. According to statements from those around him, Tae-shin kept a diary. It didn’t turn up at home or at his studio. There’s no reason for him to commit suicide. The only way to know why he made that choice is through the deceased’s records, but those are missing too.”

He turned the steering wheel. The car smoothly made a right turn. The veins on the back of his hand gripping the wheel bulged. Whether he slept with Tae-shin once or twice out of pity, his attitude, bringing women to the hotel while sleeping with Tae-shin, must have played a part in Tae-shin’s death too.

From his perspective, it might have just been like petting a pitiful cat he met on the street. Tae-shin might have gained some strength to live because of Woo-jin, or he might have lost some strength to live because of Woo-jin.

That said, Tae-shin wasn’t so susceptible to unrequited love that he would choose death because of someone. He was already half giving up from the moment he started liking Woo-jin. Hae-won had told him a few times to just give up, tired of hearing his complaints. Woo-jin probably wasn’t such an absolute existence to Tae-shin that he’d want to give up life because of him.

To Hae-won, who was just listening silently, he asked, “Have you seen it by any chance?”

“Huh?”

Hae-won was lost in other thoughts. When Hae-won asked what he meant, he repeated the question.

“Have you ever seen Tae-shin’s diary or any records?”

“No.”

“As I mentioned earlier, I’m investigating the case.”

A prosecutor investigating the suicide of a man who had a crush on him.

Since he knew him well, he’d investigate well, Hae-won thought. Then, he suddenly remembered what his seonbae had said earlier about Woo-jin’s family.

He said he came from a family of doctors. Both his paternal and maternal sides, his parents were both doctors, his older brother was a doctor, and his younger sister was a doctor. His younger sister was in cardiology or thoracic surgery, something like that. He said Woo-jin’s rebellious act of choosing law from a family of doctors was ambition, and that ambition gave off a foul, inky smell. And he said Woo-jin became close to Tae-shin because of his younger sister’s art school entrance exams. At the police station, he had clearly stated that he often talked to Tae-shin because of his sister’s tutoring. Hae-won remembered his statement.

“You said Tae-shin tutored your younger sister?”

“That’s why we talked often.”

“Do you only have one younger sister preparing for art school?”

“Yes.”

He looked at Hae-won as if he was asking something strange. Hae-won looked at him, then turned his gaze forward.

He didn’t know who was lying, but one of the two was lying. His seonbae had no reason to lie, so Woo-jin must be lying.

Tae-shin had liked him. Slept with him. A man with a crush on a male prosecutor coincidentally committed suicide. For him, the person involved, it was a very burdensome premise. Hae-won would have lied too if he were in his place. He was the perfect suspect.

The car stopped at a four-way intersection. They were already near Seoul. It was almost two in the morning, in an entertainment district, yet the roads were crowded with cars, and the streets were teeming with people. The quiet forest path of the hotel they had passed through seemed like a lie compared to the overflowing movement all around.

“Even if you weren’t close friends, aren’t you curious?”

He asked. He was talking about Tae-shin’s death. His face showed surprise at Hae-won’s indifferent response, not asking anything back.

“It wasn’t murder, right?”

“It wasn’t murder.”

“Then what more should I be curious about?”

“Well. I’m curious.”

“…….”

The person who perhaps knew best why Tae-shin committed suicide said this. As the light turned green, he moved his foot from the brake to the accelerator. The car smoothly moved forward.

“Personally, I’m curious why Tae-shin made such an extreme choice. That I couldn’t answer his call that day……. I feel sorry too. You didn’t answer his call that day either, Moon Hae-won. I thought you’d feel sorry too.”

Hae-won was the same. He felt sorry for not answering the call that day. No, more than sorry, he hated Tae-shin for making him feel guilty by calling him, of all people, right before making that choice and not getting an answer. If he was going to die, he should have just died quietly; it was more accurate to say Hae-won was angry at Tae-shin for calling before dying.

Hae-won bore no responsibility for his death. Yet, Tae-shin had burdened him with it. The first emotion Tae-shin, as a friend, had given him was an ugly sense of debt.

Woo-jin, too, apart from the investigation, probably wanted to know. Evidence that he wasn’t the reason for such an extreme choice, other reasons why Tae-shin had to let go of life. Only by knowing that could he escape this unpleasant feeling. He and Hae-won were both caught in the trap named Lee Tae-shin.

“Tae-shin’s father suspects that someone might have used Tae-shin’s artworks for slush fund laundering. Actually, a few pieces from the exhibition were sold at absurd prices.”

“Is that what the police asked about? They asked if Tae-shin had ever met some celebrity.”

Hae-won remembered the police asking him too, with questions hinting that his suicide might be linked to some celebrity, and they had asked Woo-jin too.

“A third-generation chaebol bought two of Tae-shin’s artworks. It’s not clear yet if it was for slush fund laundering or for collection. He claims it was an investment, and he still has them.”

“I don’t know the details. I haven’t heard about that.”

“I made you uncomfortable. Forget what you just heard.”

The car stopped at the subway station near the apartment complex. Hae-won unbuckled his seatbelt and twisted his body to get his violin from the back seat. Woo-jin handed him the case instead. Their hands brushed. Contrary to his meticulous appearance that seemed like not a single needle could find a gap, Woo-jin seemed to have a personality that carefully looked after others.

Was his consideration for Tae-shin’s death also due to this kindness?

Hae-won wanted to ask if he slept with Tae-shin because of that personality, even though he had a woman. Sympathy and mockery were always separated by a thin line.

“Thank you for the ride.”

As Hae-won said goodbye and tried to get out of the car, Woo-jin took out a card holder from his jacket’s inner pocket. He took out his business card and handed it to Hae-won.

“Let’s meet again if we get the chance.”

“…….”

It didn’t seem likely, but Hae-won took the card out of courtesy. As his seonbae had said, Woo-jin was from the Central District Prosecutors’ Office, Special Division 3.

Hae-won got out of the car and closed the door. The car, resembling dark storm clouds, drove away without hesitation. The business card in his hand had no suitable place to discard nearby. He shoved Woo-jin’s card into the pouch attached to the front of his violin case.

Hae-won trudged his way to the nameless man’s apartment.

If he found out why Tae-shin died, would this unpleasant feeling also disappear? Like Woo-jin wanted to know.

Woo-jin’s attempt to uncover the reason for Tae-shin’s suicide was an expression of an extremely personal and selfish desire to free himself from guilt.

When Woo-jin brought up the diary in the car, Hae-won recalled the notebook and two photos that had arrived by courier from Tae-shin.

Just as he hadn’t answered Tae-shin’s call, Hae-won had simply thrown away the notebook and photos. He tossed them into a box he had piled up to discard when moving. It was a meaningless act. Understanding the context of that death wouldn’t bring Tae-shin back to life, nor had Hae-won pushed him to die; in the end, this was Tae-shin’s own complete choice, something entirely unrelated to him.

∞ ∞ ∞

Looking at the mail on the living room table, Hae-won learned that the name of the man who had given him the empty room was Lee Jin-young. Lee Jin-young was a corporate employee at a large company. He worked in the overseas sales team of Samjeong Trading.

He couldn’t practice at his apartment. Having no money to rent a practice room, Hae-won squeezed into the cramped practice room his schoolmates had pooled funds to rent. The professor who oversaw his lessons was abroad for a seminar. Without him, Hae-won couldn’t reserve a practice room at school.

His schoolmates, who disliked Hae-won, not very close to them, occupying the practice room, blatantly ignored his messages. Hae-won searched for places where loud noise would be acceptable. He played his violin in a karaoke room. Through the reflective glass, he saw people passing by, chattering something. From their lip movements, it seemed they were calling him a lunatic.

Faced with a situation where he couldn’t practice, Hae-won unexpectedly discovered his own obsession with the violin.

Lee Jin-young treated Hae-won well. In proportion to his kindness, he made high-level demands. Sleeping with a man was no big deal to Hae-won, but sleeping with this man was a big deal to this man. It couldn’t become an easy, comfortable relationship.

He considered meeting Hae-won in front of the hotel that day to be fate. To Hae-won, it was neither fate nor something he wished to be so grand. He seemed to think Hae-won was naive for being hesitant about acts beyond kissing. Hae-won didn’t care how Lee Jin-young perceived him.

He gifted Hae-won expensive clothes. Already burdened with two suitcases full of luggage, the clothes he brought over threatened to make it three.

That day, he offered a watch as a gift, so expensive it would make one’s eyes pop out even on his salary. No matter how high the salary of a lower-level manager in a major corporation’s overseas sales team might be, to Hae-won, who had long enjoyed his father’s wealth, it was pitiful. The watch, as far as Hae-won knew, exceeded Lee Jin-young’s annual salary.

A sense of crisis surged as he looked at the watch being offered—the feeling that he should leave this place even if it meant sleeping on subway stairs while clutching his violin. Hae-won refused the gift.

“I can’t accept this.”

“Huh? Why? It suits you so well. Matches your fair skin and eye color.”

Lee Jin-young, who had been happily fastening the watch on Hae-won’s wrist, looked flustered as if he had heard something entirely unexpected.

“It’s too expensive. Go return it.”

“No, it’s not that expensive. I’m giving it because I want to. Don’t feel burdened.”

“I don’t need it. It’s not like I don’t have a watch.”

Hae-won removed the watch from his wrist, placed it in the heavy crystal case, and handed it back to Lee Jin-young. Holding the crystal case, he frowned gloomily.

“Sorry. I made you feel burdened. I just thought it would suit you so well, no other meaning.”

“You don’t give such expensive gifts to others. It’s not even an engagement present.”

“…….”

As if it had been an engagement present, he fell silent.

Placing the case on the table, Lee Jin-young approached Hae-won. He wrapped his arms around Hae-won’s waist as he sat on the sofa. Hae-won sighed softly and leaned into him. Lee Jin-young’s lips touched the nape of his neck. He gently nuzzled and inhaled Hae-won’s scent.

“It’s almost Christmas.”

So it was already that time. Surely that watch wasn’t meant as a Christmas gift.

Hae-won looked down ominously at Lee Jin-young’s hand touching him. Lee Jin-young, who let a stranger stay in his home for the first time and gave a watch more expensive than his annual salary under the guise of a Christmas gift, was out of his mind. And Hae-won, who was freeloading in a stranger’s home for the first time, was also out of his mind.

“I’m sorry. I don’t have much, but I’ll pay for living expenses.”

“What?”

“I should pay for living expenses. It’s too rude to keep eating and sleeping for free at your place.”

“Where did you get that idea?”

He tightened his arms around Hae-won, genuinely hurt. Hae-won’s waist was squeezed tightly. The arm strength from practicing Brazilian jiu-jitsu was so powerful it could snap a log in half.

“Ah……! It hurts.”

“Sorry. Did I go too far?”

He loosened his grip and gave a mischievous smile. Lee Jin-young took Hae-won’s hand. He placed Hae-won’s hand on his own and gazed at it as if admiring it. Compared to his rough, thick fingers, like those of a laborer, Hae-won’s hands, as a violinist, differed in color, texture, and length as if they belonged to a different race.

“Your fingers are incredibly long. Is it from playing the violin?”

“That might be part of it. I’ve been playing since I was young.”

“I’ve never heard you play.”

“I can’t play it here. The security office would complain.”

“I want to hear it.”

It was irritating—him saying things that sounded nice without truly wanting to listen, without knowing how to listen, without providing an environment for proper music, without solving anything. He was irritating, being kicked out of his classmates’ rehearsal room was irritating, his father who wouldn’t give him money was irritating, and the mistress poking his father’s side to stop giving money to his son was so irritating it felt maddening. Hae-won freed himself from his arms. He pushed him aside and stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go to my part-time job.”

“I told you I’d give you allowance. Why bother with something so hard?”

“…….”

Rather than Lee Jin-young, who boasted about giving a few hundred thousand won in allowance without knowing about Hae-won’s spending habits of swiping ten million won at hotels or the value of his instrument, it seemed better to call Kim Jae-min in the U.S.

He hadn’t thought of it before. Kim Jae-min would come to Korea immediately if Hae-won asked. He would reserve one of the only two suites on the fortieth floor of a hotel.

Thinking that far, Hae-won entered the room Lee Jin-young had given him. He packed his things. Lee Jin-young, who had followed him in, watched quietly before asking a question as dull as his appearance.

“Where are you going? Why are you packing?”

“I think I’m causing you too much trouble. I should leave now.”

“Where to? Do you have somewhere to go? You said you left home.”

“Well, anywhere will do. Thank you for everything.”

Hae-won opened his suitcase and swept his belongings inside. He gathered things from the desk and bed. There was too much luggage now. Especially many things he hadn’t wanted but had been given. Hae-won didn’t touch the gifts he had given.

“Hae-won. Is it because of that watch earlier? Did I make you feel burdened?”

“It’s not that. I don’t have a proper space to rehearse… and I feel like I’m imposing too much on you. That’s why.”

“Hae-won. Wait a moment. Okay? Don’t do this. Are you angry because of me?”

He wasn’t angry. It was just how things had turned out. The thought of Kim Jae-min, who had left his officetel in a mess and gone to the U.S., suddenly crossed Hae-won’s mind.

Lee Jin-young grabbed Hae-won’s arm as he hurriedly packed. He turned him around roughly. It was sudden force. Hae-won turned, one wrist held captive.

“It hurts.”

He didn’t let go of the wrist. It was a hand for playing. It mustn’t be injured. In winter, he always wore gloves when going out. Because his hands mustn’t be hurt. Hae-won didn’t drive a car. He only took taxis. Because if he got into an accident while driving, it would be bad. He didn’t drive for fear of injuring his hands.

As Lee Jin-young tightened his grip on the wrist, Hae-won realized how carefully he had treated his hands all this time. Something he hadn’t even been conscious of made his heart sink before the crisis of possibly injuring his hands.

“Why are you suddenly doing this?”

“I said it hurts. My hand, it hurts.”

“Calm down for a moment and listen to me. That watch I gave you… it’s because Christmas is coming, and I wanted to give you something nice to commemorate us meeting. I put thought into choosing it. I didn’t mean to make you feel burdened.”

Lee Jin-young rambled confusedly, thoughts tumbling out incoherently. No matter what he said, Hae-won wasn’t interested. He was only concerned about his hand being held.

“Let go.”

“Hae-won.”

“Let go. If you grip it so ignorantly, it’ll break.”

It was genuinely ignorant strength. His wrist felt like it would break. Lee Jin-young was exerting that strength. As if Hae-won would run away immediately, disappear, vanish suddenly, he was forcibly holding him back with brute force.

“Hae-won, what I mean is—”

“Let go and talk.”

“If I let go, you’ll run away.”

“I won’t run. If even a single hair on my hand is harmed, I won’t let it slide.”

He let go. The wrist he had gripped with force was red. Looking down at the reddened wrist, Hae-won turned and resumed packing. As he closed the suitcase and zipped it up, Lee Jin-young grabbed his wrist again. He yanked him up roughly and threw him to the floor. Hae-won looked up at him from where he fell. His pupils shook dazedly as he looked at Hae-won, whom he had flung down.

“This can’t happen. No. I can’t let you go.”

“Who are you to decide? Whether I go or stay is my decision.”

He grabbed Hae-won by the collar and lifted him. His body floated. Lee Jin-young threw Hae-won onto the bed. Without a moment to stagger from the fall, Hae-won quickly got up. He fled the room as if escaping from him.

He only grabbed the violin standing in a corner of the living room. As Hae-won ran toward the entrance, Lee Jin-young caught him by the waist and held him.

Hae-won fell to the floor with the violin. He fell on his back, and intense pain surged. Coughs burst out violently. It was pain he had never experienced in his life.

Panting heavily, Lee Jin-young approached Hae-won, who was coughing as if vomiting. He grabbed Hae-won’s wrist as if to break it. He was doing it on purpose. He kept touching his hands and wrists.

Grabbing the legs of Hae-won, who was crouching and retreating, Lee Jin-young quickly climbed on top. It was a heavy weight. The man’s hand tore Hae-won’s clothes. Buttons popped off. He kept trying to grip his hands. He was trying to break them. He knew that if his hands broke, Hae-won would be unable to do anything. If his hands were ruined, he would be nothing.

“Stop! Don’t touch!”

Hae-won screamed. He firmly gripped Hae-won’s right wrist, immobilizing it, then singled out the middle finger with his other hand. He was trying to bend the joint backward.

“Stop!”

Hae-won thrashed. No matter how much he struggled, he couldn’t break free. He grabbed whatever was within reach and threw it at him. Remotes, mail, bundles of newspapers struck his face and fell to the floor, but it wasn’t enough to stop him.

He tried to break Hae-won’s middle finger. Hae-won tightly grabbed the heavy square crystal case on the table. It was the watch case more expensive than his annual salary. He stabbed it into his eye.

Blood gushed from Lee Jin-young’s eye. The man screamed and collapsed. Hae-won’s long fingers, clutching the gleaming crystal, trembled violently. Red blood dripped from the case.

∞ ∞ ∞

He didn’t know who to contact. He couldn’t contact anyone. Not his father, and certainly not his stepmother. Not Senior Choi, who wanted to find a weakness and use it to target Hae-won. Moreover, as someone utterly ordinary within the system, he couldn’t handle the situation Hae-won was in now.

If he contacted Kim Jae-min, he would come, but it would take a full day just to get here from the U.S., and Hae-won couldn’t be sure he would come even if he called. Hae-won remembered how he had discarded him.

Fortunately, he had his violin. Hae-won was locked in a detention cell, and the violin was outside. Staring blankly at the violin case, Hae-won suddenly remembered Hyun Woo-jin’s business card he had stuffed into the case’s front pocket, having nowhere else to put it. He asked the officer on duty to retrieve the business card from the violin case’s front pocket. Luckily, Hyun Woo-jin’s card was inside.

He contacted him. It took as much time for him to remember who Hae-won was upon hearing his voice as it had taken to recognize him when they met again.

His voice sounded puzzled by the late-night call. It was past midnight. As Hae-won haltingly explained his situation, he said he understood and hung up.

How much longer did he sit there?

The officer opened the detention cell door and told him to come out. Outside, Hyun Woo-jin was standing. He was dressed in a shirt without a tie. When wearing a dress suit, his hairstyle exposed his forehead, but now his hair covered it. Yet, the image Hae-won had of him remained unchanged.

He looked tall and impressive, but perhaps because Hae-won knew his hidden affairs, he could keenly feel the unsettling aura lurking beneath the polished exterior.

His clothes were torn, buttons misaligned, unsure if worn or removed. His eyes slowly scanned Hae-won, stained with blood in places.

“Are you okay?”

He took off his jacket and draped it over Hae-won’s shoulders. A fresh body scent wafted strongly. Hae-won fastened the jacket’s front and nodded. As if calling him had been a very wise choice, he patted Hae-won’s shoulder approvingly.

Guided by the officer, they entered an investigation room. Sitting in the bleak room with only a table and two chairs, Hae-won stared blankly at the clock on the wall.

It was 2 a.m. The door opened, and Hyun Woo-jin entered, not the officer. He held coffee in his hand. He placed a steaming cup of brewed coffee in front of Hae-won. In his other hand, he held a document file.

“Drink the coffee. It’s a bit cold in here.”

“…….”

He sat in the chair opposite Hae-won and opened the file. Flipping through it as if skimming casually, he asked nonchalantly.

“He tried to rape you, right?”

“…….”

He was asking if a man was almost raped by another man, if a man was almost raped by a man who was almost raped. Being of the same sex, it felt humiliating. When Hae-won didn’t answer, he asked with an expression showing no emotion.

“That person tried to rape Moon Hae-won, correct?”

Instead of empathizing with the victim, he maintained an extremely businesslike and objective gaze, as if observing an object from a distance. Hae-won answered with a small nod.

“So, were you assaulted?”

“No.”

“You stabbed his eye with a square piece of glass before being assaulted, correct? It says here it was a watch case?”

He checked the document again.

“Yes.”

“Aren’t you going to ask what happened to him?”

He asked as if wondering how someone could stab another’s eye with such a grotesque object and not be curious about the outcome. Lee Jin-young had tried to ruin his hands. Such a person deserved to die. If that wasn’t appropriate, losing his eyes was a fitting punishment.

He had bled profusely from the eye, and it had stained Hae-won too. His eye had to be blinded. Anyone who saw the situation would have guessed what happened to Lee Jin-young’s eye, even a fool.

Hae-won had gripped the watch case so tightly his knuckles turned white and stabbed his eye. To Hae-won, who didn’t want to know the outcome, he kindly explained Lee Jin-young’s condition.

“It narrowly missed the eyeball. It’s an orbital fracture requiring four weeks of recovery. They said the flesh is torn badly, so he’ll likely need plastic surgery. There shouldn’t be any issues with vision.”

“…….”

“Are you disappointed?”

He asked. Hae-won had naturally assumed blindness and wished for it, but ironically, relief washed over him at the words that there would be no vision issues. Hae-won shook his head.

“The impact area is near the eye. This is attempted murder.”

Hyun Woo-jin used his finger to circle his own face. It seemed that injuring the head area, whether eye or nose, was viewed that way. As if determined to kill.

“…….”

He bowed his head silently.

“Why didn’t you just take it moderately instead of doing that?”

Hae-won looked up from the coffee, its steam rising in wisps, his expression subtly shifting. Their eyes met. Regardless of what position Hyun Woo-jin was taking toward him now, the question of why he didn’t just take it moderately was uncomfortable to hear, whether as a perpetrator or a victim. It sounded like he was being told to just spread his legs and not make a fuss. Such a thing was not something anyone could just take moderately and move on from.

As Hae-won silently stared, his eyes quietly gazed back at Hae-won’s face. It was a look of appreciation, as if admiring a painting of a blood-stained face.

“You look like someone who’d enjoy spreading their legs for a man.”

“…….”

“Right?”

Hae-won didn’t say no. He just stared without a word. He chuckled softly.

“Ah, was I too harsh?”

“My hand.”

“…….”

“He tried to break my finger.”

“There are people for whom a finger is more important than preserving their life.”

He nodded as if understanding and stood up. The steam from the coffee gradually faded.

“Drink the coffee.”

Hae-won picked up the takeout coffee cup. His hands were stained with blood. He slowly sipped the slightly cooled coffee.

He was released from the police station at 5 a.m. Hyun Woo-jin supported Hae-won’s shoulder, draped in his jacket, as if holding him up. As the large hand enveloped his shoulder, warmth spread through that area. It was a different temperature from his cool appearance.

The gray car of Hyun Woo-jin, which I had hitched a ride in last time, was parked in the police station parking lot. He opened the car door for me. Hae-won got into the passenger seat. As Hyun Woo-jin was about to close the door, Hae-won looked up and spoke.

“Ah, the violin.”

He looked down at Hae-won with a puzzled expression.

“I left without my violin.”

“……”

Without a word, he turned and went back into the police station. A few minutes later, he walked out with Hae-won’s violin in his hand. It was a Guadanini, with an annual insurance premium of several million won and a price exceeding a billion won. It was something the professor had specially requested from a European music foundation dealer to acquire.

Crafted from wood from the time when the Ice Age covered Europe, this violin was a masterpiece by a master artisan, its density and depth of sound not inferior to a Stradivarius or a Guarneri.

Hae-won, who had been intently watching Hyun Woo-jin place the violin in the back seat of the car, finally let out a sigh of relief. Hyun Woo-jin got into the driver’s seat. Starting the car, he spoke.

“I didn’t do anything to the violin, so don’t worry.”

“……Is it really okay to leave like this?”

He wondered if it was okay to leave like this, to leave the police station in his car. Hyun Woo-jin had pointed at his own face and called what Hae-won did attempted murder. No matter how much he had dodged, he had seriously injured someone. He had thought he would be sent back to the detention cell, but here he was, sitting in his car.

“Mutual fault, we settled on self-defense on this side. It took a while because the other side resisted settling.”

He stepped on the accelerator. The car smoothly left the police station parking lot and followed the tail of another car on the road.

“Is that possible?”

“It’s not possible. It’s only because it’s me that it worked out this way.”

“……”

“No need to worry. As long as he’s alive, he won’t dare show his face around Moon Hae-won again.”

Perhaps thinking Hae-won’s silence was due to the fear of someone who had almost been raped, he added. His voice was persuasive. He didn’t know exactly what was said, but because it was Hyun Woo-jin’s words, he believed them.

He also recalled the persuasive voice that had spewed those words at him. Hyun Woo-jin had insulted Hae-won without a second thought. He probably did the same to Tae-shin. So, he must have thought it was okay to do the same to his friend.

Hae-won was included in the category of people he could treat so carelessly, just as he had treated Tae-shin. Calling him for something like this was not a good idea. Just as he knew his secret inner workings, he now knew Hae-won’s secret private life.

“Where did you say you live?”

“……”

Since he had made Lee Jin-young like that, he had nowhere to go again. He should have just accepted that watch. As Hyun Woo-jin said, he should have just spread his legs once and given it to him. Then he would have been happy, and he would have had a place to stay.

“That guy was saying strange things earlier.”

At Hyun Woo-jin’s words, Hae-won turned his head. With his right hand on the steering wheel and his left hand leaning against the car window, he was fiddling with his forehead and hair. Looking ahead, he glanced sideways at Hae-won.

“He said Moon Hae-won played with him.”

“……”

“He said he took in a runaway college student and let him live with him, but he didn’t even give him a turn and acted all high and mighty.”

“……”

“Aren’t you twenty-nine? If you’re Tae-shin’s friend.”

“I’m twenty-eight. Tae-shin is a year my senior, but we just called each other casually.”

“What’s the difference between twenty-eight and twenty-nine? Someone almost thirty insisting he’s a college student, do you think you look that young?”

He stared intently at Hae-won’s face, measuring it, then shifted his gaze forward.

“You do look young.”

He muttered to himself. The point of the question was heading in an odd direction.

“You have nowhere to go?”

“No.”

“Then why were you at that bastard’s place? Did you want to play with someone?”

“I was there because I had nowhere to go.”

“You said you have a place to go.”

“I have a place to go. I just don’t want to go there.”

“If you have a place to go, why were you there? Don’t you know people who don’t think ahead or calculate are even more dangerous?”

He wanted to ask, And you, who thinks ahead and calculates so well, ended up with your fiancée dead and are now playing the son-in-law in that house? It wasn’t his business to interfere, nor was it his own. Whether because he was the friend of Tae-shin, whom he had treated carelessly, or because he now knew the shameful secret of almost being assaulted by a man, his choice of words when dealing with Hae-won kept testing the boundaries, teetering precariously, irritating his own uncomfortable feelings.

“I didn’t have anyone appropriate to contact. Thank you for helping me.”

Hae-won politely told him not to cross the line. And he gave him the address of the officetel, which might now be under the name of his six-year-old half-brother. His car turned left at the intersection.

“For a request to someone you’ve barely met, isn’t this too sudden? You should have contacted me in advance or something.”

“I suddenly remembered the business card you gave me that day.”

“It’s been quite a while since I gave you my card. Did you only remember it in the detention cell just now?”

“Is one supposed to call the next day, humbly, after receiving a prosecutor’s card? Like Tae-shin did?”

“……”

Hae-won knew about Tae-shin’s relationship with him. He didn’t want to hear it, but Tae-shin had blabbered about it. Hyun Woo-jin closed his mouth as if he had been hit with an unexpected attack. He drove quietly. That’s what Hae-won wanted. Having shut him up, Hae-won stared ahead.

His car stopped in front of the officetel. Hae-won hurriedly took off his jacket and handed it to him. He took his own jacket and put his arms through the sleeves.

“I was harsh with my words earlier. I’m sorry. I misunderstood.”

“What misunderstanding? The misunderstanding that people who like spreading their legs for men stick together as friends?”

“……”

He saw Hae-won as no different from Tae-shin. Pretending to be a runaway college student, living off some stranger’s house, not giving him a turn and almost getting into serious trouble, having no one to ask for help and having to contact a stranger who gave him a business card a month ago out of courtesy—Hyun Woo-jin looked down on his own pitiful situation.

He wet his lower lip with his tongue. A seductive red color flashed briefly. It was past five in the morning, now five-thirty. The sun hadn’t risen yet. The early dawn was shrouded in an especially deep darkness. It was even more so because it was the time when sleeping people toss and turn for the last time before waking up. Not even a shadow of a passing person was visible on the streets. It was a dawn when everything was quietly asleep.

A look of awkwardness appeared as he turned to look at Hae-won and asked.

“Did Tae-shin say something?”

“Do you know why I disliked Lee Tae-shin?”

“……”

“That bastard would call me and recite all sorts of personal details I didn’t want to know. I hated hearing it. But it seems there was a reward for patiently listening. Seeing the prosecutor apologize.”

“How much do you know?”

“Why are you curious about how much I know?”

“I think you’re misunderstanding me right now.”

“What misunderstanding? You’re the one who told someone who almost got raped to just spread his legs. I didn’t have any misunderstanding.”

Hae-won spoke as he heard, and spoke as he saw.

“So, how much do you know?”

“So why are you curious about how much I know?”

“How much do you know?”

“Why should I tell you that? Are you requesting a report from a subordinate right now?”

“This is why I want to break your finger.”

“……”

“When someone speaks, at least pretend to listen.”

His hand lightly tapped Hae-won’s cheek. Just as the hand that had gripped his shoulder was warm, the hand that touched and left his face was also warm. And soft.

But this kind of threat was a first. An action that felt this threatening was also a first. He had just lightly tapped his cheek, but Hae-won’s heart dropped. It was a shock he hadn’t felt even when Lee Jin-young tried to break his finger.

He also realized simultaneously that he wouldn’t allow Hae-won to get out of the car and go up to the officetel like this. It was as if Hyun Woo-jin was reading his entire mind. As he shifted the gear to park, the automatically unlocked doors made a thud sound as they locked again.

His hand, which had pressed the lock button on the door trim and blocked the escape route, gripped the steering wheel. A gentle-looking smile appeared on his handsome face. It was a gentleness that felt like it could cut with a touch. He asked in a polite tone.

As if this was the last chance.

“How much do you know?”

“More than you think, prosecutor.”

“Can you tell me specifically?”

“Aren’t you asking something rude for people who’ve barely met? You should have asked in advance.”

“You’re misunderstanding me right now.”

“What is there to misunderstand?”

He only sees what he sees and hears what he hears. There was nothing between him and him that could cause a misunderstanding. Those words sounded like they meant there had been something between Tae-shin and him that could cause a misunderstanding. Hyun Woo-jin seemed to think Hae-won knew about the misunderstanding that existed between him and Tae-shin.

“You think I played with Tae-shin right now, don’t you?”

“……”

“I didn’t play with Tae-shin. I said it earlier. People who don’t think ahead or calculate are dangerous. Tae-shin was that kind of person. Naively and honestly, to a burdensome degree.”

“So you felt sorry for him and gave him a turn?”

“……”

His eyebrows twitched, not knowing how much Hae-won knew. He soon tightly closed his lips. His face, realizing that Hae-won knew everything, even the parts he shouldn’t know, turned cold. His chest slowly swelled as he took a deep breath and slowly deflated.

Hyun Woo-jin was objectively and subjectively handsome. His voice matched his appearance, and his appearance suited his status. The silently closed lips and the face that didn’t easily show emotion gave off a tense dignity that suggested if you dealt with him clumsily, he might bite your neck. He was the type who, while being completely unfazed himself, made others anxious and exhausted.

If he hadn’t known about his relationship with Tae-shin, he would have admitted that he, too, had a face and aura he wouldn’t mind getting tangled up with naked at least once. Those who evoke desire are always the ones who remain composed. But not now. He looked uncomfortable. Hae-won, who wasn’t saying how much he knew, was aware that he was making him uncomfortable.

“Did Tae-shin say that?”

“Why is what Tae-shin said important? What’s important is how you thought of Tae-shin.”

“I said I don’t think that way, but since Moon Hae-won doesn’t believe me now, I’m asking.”

“Why is whether I believe you or not important?”

A fool who almost got assaulted by a man—why is it so important what such a fool thinks of someone like me? He was persistently asking.

Hyun Woo-jin turned his head completely toward Hae-won and stared at him with sharp eyes.

“A twenty-eight-year-old who lied about his age, pretending to be a college student, played with an idiot and almost got charged with attempted murder—I barely rescued him, brought him all the way to his doorstep nicely, and instead of thanking me, he’s treating me like a villain and misunderstanding me. And from the crack of dawn, waking up sleeping people.”

“……”

“Whether you gave him a turn once out of pity, or twice. Anyway, it means you were sincere at the time. People as affectionate as me aren’t common.”

“……”

At the funeral home, his attitude toward Tae-shin’s death was serious. He wanted to know why he killed himself. He said he could only lessen the guilt of not answering the phone that day if he knew, that he was sorry. Hae-won didn’t think Hyun Woo-jin had played with Tae-shin. Because he said he liked him, it might have been that he hugged him once out of pity and compassion.

“Do you understand what I mean?”

“……”

True to his claim of being affectionate, Hyun Woo-jin didn’t ignore the strange call ringing at dawn; he answered Hae-won’s call and came running immediately. Not even close acquaintances, taking time to remember who he was upon hearing the name, strangers to each other—he answered his call.

And he got Hae-won out. He listened to the circumstances and threatened Lee Jin-young to settle. For him, who had been kicked out of the house, had no money, nowhere to go, and would eventually return to the officetel that would be transferred to his six-year-old half-brother. He had nothing to expect from him. Hae-won quietly opened his mouth to him, who was demanding an answer.

“……We can’t call the dead and ask, so if you say so, then it must be so.”

At Tae-shin’s funeral, his face had been filled with calm sorrow. The back view of him bowing respectfully before the portrait was not false.

The hand that had gripped his shoulder was warm. There were no bad men with warm hands. If the hand was warm, the heart was warm too. That was the established theory, the logic, the fact.

Since he claimed to have an affectionate personality, it seemed he was still playing the son-in-law in the dead fiancée’s family due to guilt and a sense of responsibility. Seonbae called it ambition, but with his fiancée dead, there was no ambition for him to achieve in the Han-gyeong Group. It seemed he lived as things came: taking women to hotels whenever he felt like it and sleeping with them, giving a turn to pitiful men too, living like that.

Because he was affectionate, because his personality was too affectionate.

“Being affectionate twice would be a disaster.”

“Is this really where you live? You said you had nowhere to go, so you were at that bastard’s place.”

He suddenly leaned over to look past the car window of the seat Hae-won was sitting in, toward the officetel. Hae-won flinched. Whether mocking him or not, a smile briefly appeared at the corner of his mouth and disappeared.

He placed his hand on the back of the passenger seat and leaned in so close that his cheek almost touched Hae-won’s, looking up at the officetel standing in the darkness beyond the car window. His body temperature was faintly felt. Hae-won slowly moved away from him. So he could see better beyond the window.

“This is it.”

“Let’s go up together. I need to see it with my own eyes.”

“It’s fine. It’s enough that you brought me this far. Thank you for helping me today.”

“I can’t let you go until I see it with my own eyes. How can I trust someone who’s eaten enough years to lie about being a college student? The police didn’t just let you go. I guaranteed your identity.”

“……”

It seemed that lying about his age and deceiving Lee Jin-young into thinking he was a college student had left a strong impression on him. Or he was determined to deliberately embarrass him. That topic came up at the end of every sentence.

Hae-won had no choice but to get out of the car with him.

It had been over a few weeks since he left the officetel. The officetel belonged to his six-year-old half-brother. His father, who wouldn’t leave real estate vacant, wouldn’t have left it alone, whether he rented it out or sold it to someone. Moreover, it was in the center of Seoul. There were many people looking, so the price was high.

Since he was guaranteeing his identity, he couldn’t find any more words of refusal. With the violin slung over his shoulder, Hae-won got into the elevator with Hyun Woo-jin.

He pressed the button for the 22nd floor. Given the time, the elevator moved at high speed without stopping. It arrived at the 22nd floor in an instant.

They got off the elevator. He let Hae-won go first and followed behind. The sound of his dress shoes echoed eerily in the hallway, as if crushing a person’s spirit. In front of unit 2205, Hae-won stopped.

“This is it. You can go now.”

“Open the door. I’ll leave after seeing you go in.”

“I don’t want to show you the password.”

“I’m not interested in that, so just open it.”

He laughed as if it was absurd. It was six in the morning. Just like him, who had been locked up in the police station after being punched in the eye, he had also stayed up all night. His eyes looked tired.

“It’s really okay. You should go now. You must be tired.”

“If you say one more word, I think I’ll really get tired, so open the door.”

“……”

It seemed like if he were affectionate two more times, he would break down the door of the officetel that wasn’t even Hae-won’s. Hae-won had no choice but to press the password. It was the previous password. If someone was living there, they would have changed the password, and if he entered it wrong three times, an alarm would sound. Despite being released because a prosecutor guaranteed his identity, here he was, in front of that prosecutor, about to illegally intrude into someone else’s residence.

Checking the direction of Hyun Woo-jin’s pupils, who was deliberately looking elsewhere as if he wouldn’t look at the door lock, Hae-won calmly pressed the numbers.

86522…….

After pressing the number and the asterisk button, the lock disengaged and the door opened.

Hae-won quietly let out a long sigh of relief. He felt a chill down his back, wondering if he had been so tense that he had broken into a cold sweat. It seemed his stepmother and father still hadn’t laid a hand on his officetel. Hae-won opened the door and spoke.

“Now, please go.”

“Let’s go in.”

“I’ll go in after you leave.”

“You go in first.”

He was the suspect for whom Hae-won had provided personal surety. It was only natural for him to be concerned. Hae-won opened the door and entered. As soon as he let go of the doorknob, the door closed automatically. The man grabbed the door just as it was about to shut, yanked it open, and followed Hae-won inside without any warning.

The officetel remained exactly as Hae-won had left it that day. It seemed no one had come. Dust had settled thickly on the shelves. Hyun Woo-jin pushed past Hae-won and went in first. He was still wearing his shoes.

Woo-jin moved inside without hesitation, like a police officer searching for an intruder, rummaging through the place. His shoe soles left marks on the living room floor. After checking the bathroom, utility room, and all possible hiding spaces, Woo-jin even pulled back the curtains draped over the living room window. Having meticulously inspected the interior, Woo-jin returned to Hae-won, who was standing by the entrance with a bewildered expression.

“There’s no one here.”

“Of course there’s no one.”

“My expectations were off.”

“What were you expecting?”

“Someone who carries around an instrument worth hundreds of millions—it didn’t seem like you were mooching off someone else’s place because you had no money. I thought you were hiding from someone. You were standing stubbornly in front of the door, refusing to go in, so I wondered if that bastard was inside.”

“…That bastard?”

“Isn’t it more strange for someone like Moon Hae-won to not have a lover?”

“Someone like me?”

He wanted to ask what kind of person ‘someone like me’ was. It seemed like Woo-jin wanted to say he looked like the type who would spread his legs for anyone.

“Yes. Someone like Moon Hae-won. You even tried to break the fingers of a guy you’d only been mooching off for a few days. Who would just leave you alone?”

“……”

Originally, Hae-won had left because Kim Jae-min had barged into his officetel. Woo-jin’s words were valid. He had left to avoid an unwanted person in his own space. And that had become the pretext for the officetel to be transferred to his half-brother’s name.

“Only an idiot would leave you alone.”

“Thank you for helping me today.”

“You keep deflecting.”

He was trying to cross a boundary. And Hae-won was pushing him back from the other side. He was trying something with him.

Woo-jin was looking at Hae-won with an impassive gaze. But it was different from before. A fierce animalistic glint was deeply shadowed within, concealing a violence that made him want to break Hae-won’s neck right then and there. His eyes had changed from the moment Hae-won revealed that he and Tae-shin had been involved.

“Are you doing this because you want to know what Tae-shin said? Or.”

“Or.”

“Or……”

“Or do you have the nerve to come on to someone who almost got raped today?”

Hae-won had almost experienced such a thing. Lee Jin-young had tried to break Hae-won’s fingers. Hae-won had stabbed Jin-young’s eyes with the sharp tip of a crystal. He had aimed for the eyes. He thought he had stabbed them precisely. He hadn’t expected to miss.

“I’m not really curious about what Tae-shin said. He probably only said good things. Because he only saw me in a good light.”

“……”

He was right. Tae-shin had said nothing but good things about him, to the point it was sickening to hear. A splendid voice, a splendid face, a tall stature and a body with superior balance. Remembering that, a thought occurred to him as he looked at the man’s chest before him: maybe Tae-shin, who majored in sculpture, was drawn to the three-dimensional quality of that body.

“If it were me, I would have done it today.”

“……”

“Not something stupid like trying to break the fingers of a performer. I would have done it today.”

Hae-won looked at him, not understanding what he meant by ‘done it today,’ what he was talking about. Woo-jin was looking at Hae-won’s shirt, its buttons almost torn off, forced into mismatched positions. Hae-won was neither covered nor undressed.

“I don’t like that kind of thing.”

Hae-won muttered to him. ‘What don’t you like? I can’t hear you well,’ Woo-jin tilted his head, leaning closer to Hae-won, who was whispering softly.

“That kind of thing, what kind? Breaking fingers?”

Woo-jin’s voice had also softened. Bringing his face close, he asked a question as if whispering some secret. Hae-won shook his head.

“No.”

His lips curled as if amused.

“Then, what don’t you like?”

“Taking a friend’s man.”

“……”

His pupils were close. It was a merciless gaze. Something stirred within the man’s pupils. It stirred, yet was calm.

Hae-won opened the door and stepped aside, telling him to leave now. After silently standing and looking down at Hae-won, he left the officetel.

∞ ∞ ∞

Hae-won took off the clothes Jin-young had torn and threw them in the trash. He discarded everything—pants, underwear. He showered and changed into pajamas. He drew the curtains Woo-jin had pulled back over the living room window where the sun was rising whitely, and collapsed onto the bed.

Exhaustion washed over him like a flood. Hae-won slept the whole time. It was a deep sleep, uninterrupted until around three in the afternoon when the sound of his phone ringing woke him.

He truly disliked his father and stepmother, but he was grateful, truly grateful, that they had left his officetel alone. Hae-won lifted his body, buried under the goose-down duvet on the bed.

The bed was a high-end item in this house, not inferior to his violin. It was a bed made solely from natural materials and the handiwork of artisans. The mattress, said to be supplied to the Swedish royal family, was as soft as lying on clouds.

He couldn’t remember the last time he had stretched out his whole body comfortably and slept so deeply. Having slept soundly, forgetting what he had done the previous night, Hae-won lazily stretched and got up, picking up his phone from the side table.

“……”

It was an unknown number, yet also a familiar one.

It was the number Hae-won had called last night while sitting on the cold detention center floor, looking at a business card. When no one answered, a missed call notification appeared. He just stared blankly at the screen, about to lie back down when the bell rang again. It wasn’t something he could avoid by avoiding it, nor was it a person he could ignore by ignoring. Hae-won gave up and answered the call.

“Yes.”

—Are you up now?

“…Yes.”

It sounded like a sarcastic remark, asking if he had slept well after half-killing someone and leaving them sprawled.

—You need to come out.

“Me?”

—You have to write a statement, there’s a lot to do.

“Should I go to the police station?”

—Since it’s been transferred to the prosecution, you can come here.

“Now?”

—It’s a little past three in the afternoon now, so come around five. Do you know where the Central District Prosecutors’ Office is?

“The taxi driver will know.”

—Come to Main Building, Room 1014.

He ended the call with him. Hae-won flopped face down on the bed.

He recalled Hyun Woo-jin, whom he had met last night—no, early this morning—in the detention center. His suit without a tie was slightly disheveled in an indefinable way, and his body, having rushed over, carried the chill of winter.

He didn’t know. Thinking was bothersome, and he didn’t want to think. He was someone Tae-shin had liked. He hated agonizing over such a person. He wanted to spend his time lazily on the bed, but time wasn’t plentiful.

Hae-won groaned and lifted his body. As he swept back his disheveled hair, he paused. A distinct mark remained on his wrist. It was a bruised, purple mark from someone gripping him tightly and then letting go, inflicted by rough force. He lightly rotated his wrist. A dull pain was felt. Last night’s events were not a dream. Only now did Hae-won’s hand, which had injured someone, tremble faintly.

He hurried out of the officetel. Hailed a taxi. After driving for about thirty minutes, the taxi stopped in front of Jin-young’s apartment.

“Please wait. I’ll be right back down. I’ll pay extra for the waiting fare.”

After asking the taxi driver to wait, Hae-won got out of the car.

The apartment was in the same mess as when they had left last night. Dried bloodstains remained here and there. Police shoe prints had trampled over the not-yet-dried blood, leaving loud, brown, dried shoe marks on the living room floor. It was a ghastly scene, like a crime scene where a violent crime had occurred.

Hae-won retrieved the half-packed suitcase from last night. The taxi driver waiting in the car saw Hae-won dragging out the suitcase and came out to help load it into the trunk. Hae-won took his suitcase and returned to the officetel. While organizing his belongings, he called his father.

—You lasted a bit longer this time?

“Please leave the officetel alone. I’ll be staying here.”

—Don’t be like that.

He firmly cut off his father, who was about to nag again.

“You know it’s nonsense to tell me to come home, Dad. Hae-jeong isn’t your only child. I’m your child too. Telling me to live with my stepmother is too cruel, and I could never do that even if beaten to death. If you say no, I’ll sell my violin. I’ll quit music too.”

He took pride in Hae-won, the violinist. He still believed in the words of the green music college student and thought he had talent. And he knew well that his mother, who loved music, had loved Hae-won especially because he was like that.

Supporting Hae-won was the only way for his father, who felt he had failed in his responsibility to Hae-won’s biological mother, to lessen his guilt and atone. After a long silence, his father, having been scolded by his child, asked in a gloomily subdued tone.

—Stop by the company for a bit. I’ll give you a card.

“…That’s okay. Stepmom isn’t wrong. I want to stop relying on you financially now. I’ll try to live on my own.”

—I’ll watch my tongue around Hae-jeong’s mother. Don’t worry about that and take the card. It’s not like you’ve been spending just a few pennies; if you want to live as you have been, no matter what you do to earn money, you won’t be able to manage. And people in the arts should just focus on their art. If you worry about making a living, you’ll miss this and that.

His father was right. If it became too hard to make a living solely from music, he would have to do practical work. Then he would gradually let go and become preoccupied only with sustaining his livelihood.

Making a living was extremely important. For Hae-won, who could do nothing but play the violin, the things he could do were limited. It would be good to join an orchestra or work as a soloist, but compared to the number of music college students pouring out every year, vacancies were almost nonexistent, making competition extremely fierce. He had had an opportunity, but at the time he didn’t need it, so he threw away that precious chance.

Having lost his biological mother, given up studying abroad, and neglected competitions, Hae-won didn’t even have a decent portfolio. There was nothing for him to do but teach someone. With this kind of record, Hae-won becoming a professor at any university was a distant prospect, even if his father threw money at it. While symphony members get many private lessons, Hae-won, as a freelancer, struggled to even make contacts.

There were seonbaes who taught children in front of elementary schools and ran academies, and there were fellow students who gave private lessons to entrance exam students. Even if he were to teach at middle or high schools, there would be no end to the things he’d have to handle, from application forms to all sorts of documents, and even if he endured such hassles, Hae-won had neither the talent nor the patience for teaching anyone.

If he started worrying about making a living, he would gradually drift away from the world he pursued. He knew it well, but Hae-won shook his head.

“I’m tired of hearing Stepmom criticize me to you all the time. I hate being treated like a child. Don’t worry about me anymore. But don’t touch the officetel. I really have nowhere else to go.”

He ended the call with his father, who told him to contact him without hesitation if things got tough. He couldn’t rely on his father’s money forever. He didn’t want to experience again the embarrassment and helplessness he felt when, after living thoughtlessly, his father suddenly cut off support. If he had any ability, he wouldn’t have moved into Jin-young’s place, and he wouldn’t have hurt him.

Time flew by as he organized his suitcase and cleaned. Woo-jin had told him to come by five, but the clock already showed five. He showered and changed clothes. Time was piling up, but he didn’t hurry.

Hae-won put on his coat and gloves. He thought he hadn’t brought anything Jin-young had given him, but a scarf had ended up in his luggage. Jin-young had said it suited Hae-won’s skin tone. Wearing the scarf Jin-young had given him, Hae-won left the officetel.

Time had already become six-thirty. The taxi stopped in front of the Central District Prosecutors’ Office. He left his ID and received a visitor pass. He went to find Main Building, Room 1014. He knocked and opened the door. A woman who appeared to be a practical officer looked at Hae-won and asked.

“How may I help you?”

“Is Prosecutor Hyun Woo-jin at his desk? I have an appointment to see him today.”

“He’s stepped away for a moment. Please have a seat here and wait.”

The office had a smaller office attached within. The workspaces for investigators and practical officers were separate from the prosecutor’s workspace. Through the small window in the prosecutor’s office door, he could glimpse traces of intense work on the desk whose owner had just left.

Hae-won sat in the empty chair she indicated. The two practical officers and the investigator, despite it being past quitting time, were absorbed in their own work, leaving him be.

He sat quietly and waited for him. After a while, the door opened and Woo-jin entered. Hae-won rose from his seat. Seeing Hae-won, he checked the watch on his wrist. Then he looked at Hae-won. Though he said nothing, it was clear Woo-jin was pointing out that Hae-won was late.

Woo-jin wordlessly passed him and opened his office door.

“Prosecutor, your guest is here.”

The office manager gestured toward Hae-won with a nod and spoke.

“Come in here.”

Hae-won followed him inside. A large desk with its back to the window and a conference table in front of it were placed. Documents explaining how busy a prosecutor’s job is were piled mountain-high on the desk. It was such a vast amount that one might doubt if he actually read them all.

He brought the laptop he had pushed to one side in front of himself. He gestured with his chin for Hae-won to sit in the chair in front of the desk. Hae-won sat in the chair and looked at him.

“I’ll write the statement, and I’ve asked a lawyer I know to handle the settlement agreement. It’ll take some time.”

“How long?”

“Why, do you have an appointment?”

“I was just curious how long it would take.”

“If the case is complex, it takes over ten hours; for a simple one like this, one or two hours. If you had come at five, we could have written the statement in two hours and gone to dinner at seven, but since someone didn’t keep the time appointment, let’s do our best.”

He placed his hands on the laptop keyboard and asked without giving him time to breathe.

“Name.”

“……”

“What’s your name.”

“Moon Hae-won.”

“Yes, Mr. Moon Hae-won. Age: twenty-eight, pretending to be a college student.”

“……”

“Occupation: freelance violinist?”

“Yes.”

The intermittent sound of keyboard tapping broke the silence. He asked in a businesslike tone.

“When and how did you meet Mr. Lee Jin-young?”

“We met in front of Hotel S a few weeks ago.”

“Why did you go to Hotel S?”

“I had a problem with my officetel, so I stayed there.”

“If there’s a problem at home, you stay at a hotel?”

“Yes.”

This question seemed like a private curiosity not meant for the record, but he answered immediately. He wanted to finish as quickly as possible. It seemed cooperating with him as much as possible would make it end faster.

“But why did you move from the hotel to Mr. Lee Jin-young’s house? Don’t you have anywhere else to stay besides the officetel? Like your parents’ house.”

“I had a fight with my father, so I couldn’t go to my family home.”

“So you ran away to the house of someone you met for the first time that day?”

His tone, devoid of emotion, was polite and without frills. So it was unclear whether the question was related to the statement or was a personal curiosity.

“I needed a place to stay, and that person said it was okay, so I went in.”

“You told Mr. Lee Jin-young you were a music college student who ran away from home, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“What was your relationship. Were you dating? Or.”

“……”

“Were you just in a sexual relationship?”

“We weren’t in any relationship.”

“Do you mean you never had sex?”

“Is that important?”

“In cases like this, sexual relations are very important. Whether it’s premeditated assault resulting in death due to a love affair or simple negligence—the most important factor in determining that is the presence or absence of sexual intercourse.”

It was the season when the sun set early. Beyond the window already draped in darkness, the city lights twinkled. The back of his figure in a dress shirt and my own face floating over his shoulder were reflected in the window. Hae-won gazed at his own reflection in the glass, then shifted his gaze to him. Every time his eyes met Hyun Woo-jin’s, he felt a clattering sound somewhere in his chest.

“I don’t think I’ve ever had sexual intercourse.”

“Please avoid saying ‘I think so.’ Just say you don’t remember clearly.”

“I don’t know what exactly counts as sexual intercourse.”

“So, can I understand it as you did everything except spreading your legs?”

“…….”

Every conclusion was laced with vulgar, violent vocabulary—about spreading things, things being spread, liking to spread—words unrelated to the statement, but he asked in a businesslike manner. With a serious face, he was clearly mocking me, pretending to speak in a way easy for a layperson like me, unfamiliar with legal terms.

“So, there was no direct penetration, and everything else was done, I take it.”

“Yes.”

Each time Hae-won finished answering, he typed something, tapping the keyboard. Tap-tap-tap—the sound of fingers rapidly striking the keys lingered longer than the short answers.

It was horrifying to think that words like sexual intercourse, illicit affair, penetration were being recorded in documents. He flipped through the file lying beside his laptop, turned a page, and asked.

“Have you ever received money or valuables from Lee Jin-young?”

Hae-won, who had been avoiding looking at Hyun Woo-jin’s face and staring only at the back of the laptop, raised his eyes to him.

“Lee Jin-young stated that Moon Hae-won extorted valuables from him.”

“I never extorted anything. I only accepted things he gave as gifts.”

If, as Lee Jin-young claimed, it was indeed extortion, then Hae-won was holding the scarf he had extorted from him on his lap. Hae-won’s hands tightly gripped the scarf.

“So, you’re saying everything was given by Lee Jin-young of his own will?”

“I never asked for anything.”

“The watch used in the crime that day—was it also given by Lee Jin-young to Moon Hae-won as a gift of his own will, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Lee Jin-young stated that when Moon Hae-won tried to run away with only that, he grabbed him, leading to a physical struggle.”

“What?”

Hae-won’s eyes widened. Hyun Woo-jin was focused on his face as if it were an interesting case, though it wasn’t.

“That’s what’s written in Lee Jin-young’s statement.”

“No. I said I was uncomfortable and refused. I told him to return it, that such things aren’t given to others.”

It was a statement completely different from yesterday’s events. Hyun Woo-jin’s confident promise—that they would reach an agreement, that Lee Jin-young would never dare approach him again—came to mind, but Hae-won didn’t ask why things had changed overnight. He shook his head, denying Lee Jin-young’s statement.

“But why did you suddenly try to pack and leave that day? Of all days, the day he gave you the watch as a gift.”

“…….”

He hadn’t expected the statement to be framed that way. To those unaware of the parties’ circumstances, it could certainly appear that way. He received a watch as a gift and packed his bags that day. To leave that house. Hae-won recoiled. Lee Jin-young’s words differed from the truth.

“Like the watch, he was being overly burdensome, so I tried to leave. I didn’t take the watch.”

“According to the materials submitted by Lee Jin-young, you received a great many gifts. Weren’t the expensive gifts before burdensome?”

“…….”

He had given Hae-won many gifts before. Some were valuable. None were as expensive as the watch received that day, but they were still pricey items.

Hae-won tended to receive many gifts from people he met. They tried to win his unresponsive heart with material things. So, Hae-won felt little emotion toward such gift offensives. If given, he simply accepted; if he liked it, he kept it; if not, he discarded it.

“So, the previous ones weren’t burdensome, so you just accepted them, but the watch was burdensome?”

“Not exactly that.”

“……Not exactly that.”

Hae-won hesitated, struggling to find the words. It wasn’t that he felt wronged by the inaccurate account; it was difficult to put the feelings of that day into words. It wasn’t the expensive gift that was burdensome—it was Lee Jin-young himself.

Hyun Woo-jin didn’t rush him, just stared intently. Hae-won felt a gentle pressure to speak his mind without filtering.

“I was just irritated by the situation.”

“You were irritated by the situation even after receiving such an expensive watch as a gift?”

“Yes.”

It was a story no one would believe. Lee Jin-young’s statement was consistent and plausible. His own statement before Hyun Woo-jin sounded like a child’s babble. Hae-won vaguely realized that even he found it unconvincing.

He had hidden his identity, entered a stranger’s house, and lived with him for nearly a month, engaging in pre-sexual contact. He hadn’t refused the gifts the man gave. He had accepted his gifts without hesitation until now. The scarf he gave was still on his lap. There was no reason for the watch to suddenly feel burdensome. Lee Jin-young was painting Hae-won as a gold-digger or a scammer. That was the role Hae-won played in Lee Jin-young’s statement.

“How exactly were you irritated? Be specific.”

“I couldn’t even rehearse in his house, and being in that environment was irritating. He kept giving me unwanted things as gifts and demanding emotional responses, which was burdensome.”

“You were irritated because you couldn’t rehearse in that environment, and because he demanded emotions you didn’t have. Hmm. You no longer had the will to maintain the relationship.”

Hyun Woo-jin seemed not to understand. He didn’t believe him. He seemed to be pondering how to write a coherent, logical statement with words he didn’t believe. After a moment of thought, his hands moved swiftly.

“So, Moon Hae-won tried to leave the house, and that led to a dispute.”

“He wouldn’t let me go.”

“Yes. Of course he wouldn’t let you go.”

“…….”

Only the sound of typing punctuated the office’s silence. Knock, knock—a knock sounded, and an office worker opened the door, saying he was leaving for the day and greeting him. Hyun Woo-jin, without taking his eyes off the laptop, busily moving his hands, simply nodded in response.

“So, during that process, a physical struggle occurred, and Lee Jin-young tried to sexually assault Moon Hae-won by tearing his clothes, but when Moon Hae-won didn’t stop resisting, he tried to break his fingers, right?”

“Yes.”

“Because Moon Hae-won’s fingers are very important. So, fearing injury to your hands, you stabbed Lee Jin-young’s eye with the watch case?”

“……Yes.”

“Of course, being a violinist.”

At Hae-won’s unconfident, soft answer, his lips curved into an arc. A clear sneer, as if to say it was more than deserved.

“The clothes Lee Jin-young tore yesterday—you have them, right?”

Hae-won nodded. He had thrown them in the trash, so they should still be there.

“We need to preserve the wound on your wrist as evidence of force used, so I’ll take a photo. It’s not severe enough for a medical certificate.”

Hyun Woo-jin stood up and gestured for Hae-won to do the same. Hae-won clumsily rose from the chair and removed the scarf Lee Jin-young had given. Hyun Woo-jin swiftly took his hand, rolled up the sleeve to reveal his wrist. The red marks were vivid. Gathering Hae-won’s hands so the right and left wrists touched, Hyun Woo-jin took out his phone and photographed Hae-won’s wrists.

“Your hands are quite pretty. Do all violinists have hands like this?”

“…….”

“Turn them over.”

This time, Hae-won turned his hands over, bringing both wrists close together. He pushed up Hae-won’s fallen sleeve and took several photos.

“Can something like this serve as counter-evidence?”

“I’m taking these to look at when I’m bored.”

“…….”

“It has evidentiary value. He bruised such pretty hands.”

Having made a frivolous remark, Hyun Woo-jin sat back down expressionlessly, without any sign of embarrassment, and continued writing the statement.

As if he had no further questions, he asked Hae-won nothing more. The office workers assisting him had also left, and the office was literally silent.

Only the sound of his steady breathing and the rustling of documents as he wrote could be heard. Hae-won sat vacantly before him. After a while, Hyun Woo-jin printed what he had written and handed it over.

“Read it, and if there’s nothing to correct, I’ll need a few seals.”

Though not much had been said, time had flown by. It was past seven, nearing eight. Hae-won read the printout. It logically and systematically refuted and denied Lee Jin-young’s statement from his perspective. Nothing seemed to need correction.

He stamped the statement as instructed. Hyun Woo-jin handed him a tissue. Hae-won wiped the red ink stain from his right thumb onto the tissue. As he organized the documents, Hyun Woo-jin spoke.

“Lee Jin-young is refusing to settle.”

“That’s different from yesterday. I heard you reached an agreement, that there’d be no need to see him again.”

You, who claimed to be competent and skilled, said that, Hae-won thought, handing him the tissue he had wiped his thumb with. Hyun Woo-jin stared at the piece of tissue Hae-won held. A trash bin was visible nearby, but he handed it to him. Hyun Woo-jin took the crumpled tissue and threw it into the bin, visible to both.

“Lee Jin-young says he wants to see Moon Hae-won.”

“…….”

“If you go and sweet-talk him a bit, he might listen. What do you think? Will you apologize for making him blind in one eye and sweet-talk him?”

“…….”

“If he files a complaint, it’ll be a headache. There are many unseen aspects, as per Moon Hae-won’s statement.”

He hid his identity, stayed at his house for nearly a month, accepted and kept expensive gifts, and tried to leave his house the day he received a high-end watch. The man demanding more was burdensome, and Hae-won lacked the patience to simply endure his lifestyle. Like Hyun Woo-jin’s deceased fiancée, Hae-won had grown up without hardship, so he had little tolerance for qualitative changes in his environment.

“Anyway, if a complaint is filed, an investigation must be conducted, and it won’t come to me. Whoever handles it, Lee Jin-young’s claims are more persuasive. Moon Hae-won could be at a significant disadvantage.”

“So, what should I do then?”

“If you can’t do it, stop whining and just suck it up once.”

“…….”

“Then it’s over.”

1] Guadagnini: Classified as one of the world’s three greatest violins alongside Guarneri and Stradivarius, it is the name of a prestigious instrument crafted by the Italian Guadagnini family.

2] Phrasing: A technique of separating a continuous melody into musical phrases for performance.

3] Miking: A recording method that places a microphone in front of an amplifier.

4] Legato: A technique of playing smoothly without breaks between notes.

5] Reverb: The reverberation of sound.

6] Itzhak Perlman: An Israeli-American violinist, regarded as one of the most outstanding performers of the 20th century.

7] Trill: An ornamental note used to extend a sound.

8] Vibrato: A technique of finely oscillating a note up and down to produce a beautiful resonance.

9] Lorin Varencove Maazel: A French-born American conductor and composer, also a violinist.

10] Zubin Mehta: An Indian-born conductor, considered one of Asia’s finest conductors.

11] Spiccato: A bowing technique that produces short, detached notes by bouncing the bow.