2 – Chapter 2 Part 2

Hae-won got out of the taxi, slung his violin over his shoulder, and walked onto the school grounds. The campus, in the full bloom of spring, was awash with lush green foliage, and the laughter and chatter of students sitting on the lawn drifted over from afar, carried by a gentle breeze.

Upon reaching the music college practice room, Hae-won paused as he passed a mirror on the corridor wall. He looked at his reflection again. Dark circles hung under his eyes, reaching almost to his jawline. He looked a mess.

He smoothed his disheveled hair and vigorously splashed cold water on his face with both hands until his cheeks felt squished, but his complexion remained unchanged.

Even he, who exercised regularly and wasn’t in bad shape physically, felt this drained; it was almost miraculous how Woo-jin could work through the night, sleep for an hour or two, and still go to work.

He didn’t seem to belong to the category of ordinary humans. It was simply astonishing that he could live like that.

Moving his body, which felt too heavy to even lift a finger, he barely managed to knock on the practice room door. If it were an orchestra day, he might have called in sick again, but he couldn’t skip a lesson.

“Come in.”

At Professor Jung’s voice, Hae-won opened the door. He stepped inside, bowed his head slightly, and greeted him.

“Hello.”

He stopped as he was about to put down his violin.

Inside the practice room, besides Professor Jung, another person was sitting. When Hae-won’s eyes met his, he instinctively bowed his head in a silent greeting.

Professor Jung, who had been drinking tea with the unfamiliar man by the wide-open window, set his teacup on the table and spoke.

“Come on in. Hae-won, do you know Professor Park Jong-hoon?”

“Huh? Well, I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

“Hae-won… Moon Hae-won? Could it be Mr. Moon Hae-won?”

A man dressed in a crisp suit, looking too young and sophisticated to be a professor, awkwardly rose from his seat. His face lit up with a friendly expression as he looked at Hae-won, as if he had unexpectedly run into a pleasant acquaintance in a completely unforeseen place.

“Do you know me?”

Hae-won asked him.

“I’m Park Jong-hoon, the one who called you a few days ago. I’m preparing a crossover performance this time.”

“…Ah.”

Hae-won recalled the phone conversation from a few days ago.

Are you better than Beethoven? Are you better than Bach? Is your musicality superior to theirs? He probably asked something like that. Hae-won rolled his eyes, pretending not to remember the call.

“Do you two know each other?”

“There’s a project I’m planning, and I happened to hear Mr. Moon Hae-won’s performance and contacted him. Got thoroughly rejected, though.”

Even though Park Jong-hoon had hung up abruptly, his tone turning curt after Hae-won’s sarcastic remark questioning what made him better than them, he now smiled as if sharing a private joke with Hae-won, acting as if that incident were already forgotten and they had some special connection.

“He may look like that, but he’s a classicist. Doesn’t really care for modern classical.”

“Is that so? I didn’t know and was quite upset. Nice to meet you.”

Park Jong-hoon, having already relegated the rudely rejected matter to the past, extended his hand. His gaze, fixed intently on Hae-won, didn’t waver.

Hae-won possessed looks that easily won people’s favor, and he was well aware of it himself. Hae-won took his hand.

“Pleased to meet you. I’m Moon Hae-won.”

“Yes. First time… nice to meet you. I’m Park Jong-hoon.”

He gripped Hae-won’s hand tightly and didn’t let go. Only when Hae-won squirmed his trapped hand did he release his grip.

“But what brings you here… I heard you’re with the Han-gyeong Symphony.”

Park Jong-hoon asked, looking alternately at Professor Jung and Hae-won.

“The professor coaches my practice. If you have an appointment today, I can leave.”

“No, it’s fine. I just asked Professor Park to wait a bit, that’s all.”

“He coaches a professional’s practice?”

Park Jong-hoon asked with curiosity.

“If I hadn’t forced him like this, he would have gotten bored and quit music long ago. His whims are that severe.”

He had never practiced as if his life depended on it, but he didn’t dislike it.

Having witnessed Hae-won’s unreliable patience, his tendency to quickly lose interest and give up easily since his student days at the arts school, Professor Jung, fearing Hae-won might quit the violin, had forcibly kept him in lessons since their school days, and that had naturally continued until today.

“Then, may I watch for a bit? I’ll be quiet.”

Park Jong-hoon cautiously asked for permission.

Before Hae-won could say no, Professor Jung gestured for him to sit, telling him to make himself comfortable.

“It seems you two aren’t finished talking. I’ll come back another time when you’re free, Professor.”

As Hae-won picked up his violin case to leave, Park Jong-hoon stood up.

“If it’s because of me, I’ll go. I didn’t think it might be uncomfortable.”

“No, stay.”

Professor Jung told Park Jong-hoon and shot a firm look at Hae-won.

“You’re a performer. What kind of performer dislikes showing their performance? For a performer, showing is also an important part of the performance. You must always be conscious of the audience.”

“……”

Well aware of Hae-won’s personality, which particularly disliked being the center of attention, Professor Jung deliberately gestured for Park Jong-hoon to sit back down. Park Jong-hoon sat on the empty chair with an awkward expression.

Hae-won sighed, opened the case, and took out his violin. He attached the shoulder rest and tightened the bow. Applying rosin to the bow hair a couple of times, he placed the violin between his shoulder and chin and tuned it.

As usual, he started with the scale by Carl Flesch. If he didn’t begin practice with scales, no matter how sensitive one’s pitch perception was, the violin—an instrument that relied solely on human ears and fingers to find the notes—would gradually cause the intonation to creep up without one realizing it, preventing accurate fingering. After about five minutes of warming up, he moved on to seriously interpreting the piece.

Park Jong-hoon watched with interested eyes, quietly sitting and observing Hae-won receiving a rather serious lesson from Professor Jung.

“Have you heard this before?”

“A long time ago. I hardly remember.”

“Then let’s start sight-reading from the score.”

Hae-won unfolded the score Professor Jung had prepared on the stand and traced through it at a slower pace than usual. While Hae-won interpreted the piece, Professor Jung didn’t interfere much. As Hae-won completed his own rendition, adjusting between full bows and half bows, tempo, and more, he focused on the sight-reading without being conscious of Park Jong-hoon.

Without stumbling much, Hae-won delivered a near-perfect performance.

“Here, with more delicate phrasing.”

At Professor Jung’s words, Hae-won shifted the position of his fingers on the fingerboard and drew the bow down on the E string.

Leaving the practice room, Hae-won looked back at Park Jong-hoon, who was following him.

Hae-won was the type to have almost no interest in anyone except for a few violinists he particularly liked, so he didn’t know who Park Jong-hoon was—a professor at an arts university known for gathering only the talented at a young age.

“I understand why Professor Jung invests so much effort. I enjoyed your performance.”

“I don’t.”

“Huh?”

“I said I don’t.”

Speaking as if fending off a pushy street vendor, Hae-won passed by Park Jong-hoon, who stood there dumbfounded, and went down the stairs.

Leaving the campus, he hailed a taxi at the main gate. Although he had to come out because it was a lesson day, his whole body felt sore as if beaten, and he didn’t want to take a single step. He felt like he needed a massage.

As he was about to tell the taxi driver his destination, the car door suddenly opened. Park Jong-hoon gestured for Hae-won to scoot over and sit inside. Hae-won vacated the seat without thinking. Park Jong-hoon, climbing in beside him, wore a kindly smile.

“…What are you doing?”

Since he was Professor Jung’s acquaintance, he couldn’t be rude. Hae-won asked with utmost politeness.

“There’s a rehearsal today. Just listen once. If your mind doesn’t change after hearing it, I won’t bring it up again.”

“……”

“It’s not to boast, but it shouldn’t be unpleasant to listen to.”

“The genres are different.”

“This might sound sudden, but the classical world needs someone like you, Mr. Hae-won. Someone who can provide fresh stimulation.”

“……”

“Classical music has become a festival only for majors, so the general public finds it boring.”

He didn’t seem like a fool hitting on him because of his looks. Park Jong-hoon had contacted him after listening only to Kim Jae-min’s album. It meant he was impressed by his performance.

After experiencing a situation where he might not be able to play the violin—something he had taken for granted as naturally as breathing—Hae-won’s attitude as a violinist had also become more serious. His performances grew more mature and gained depth. Perhaps it was due to turning thirty, but beyond that, there was the existence of Hyun Woo-jin.

As he genuinely came to like and love someone, Hae-won matured as a person and, without realizing it, began to reveal that in his performances. He was in the process of rediscovering his identity as a performer.

“If you’re busy today, there’s also rehearsal tomorrow, so you could listen then.”

He took a notebook from his pocket. If he wanted to give information, he could have sent it via phone, but he opened the old notebook, wrote down his phone number, the performance venue address, time, and handed it over. Hae-won refused the offered slip of paper and said,

“I have time today.”

The small theater at the National Theater was bustling with people preparing for rehearsal.

Janggu, haegeum, piri, gayageum, the lead kkwaenggwari player of the durepae troupe, piano, electronic keyboard, cello, and violin. His students and the recruited performers, dressed comfortably, were arranging their movements on stage.

“Professor, you’re here?”

As what appeared to be a staff member greeted Park Jong-hoon, the performers on stage noticed him and rushed over—some greeting him, some thrusting scores with questions, some playing their parts amidst the commotion, asking him to listen…

It was like a marketplace. Watching Park Jong-hoon’s back surrounded by people, Hae-won’s brow faintly furrowed.

Should I just leave?

Hae-won looked back at the entrance he came from. No one was stopping people from entering or monitoring those leaving. Just as he glanced at Park Jong-hoon and was about to turn away, Park Jong-hoon turned his head toward Hae-won and gestured for him to come over.

Hae-won had no choice but to walk over. He sat in the empty seat Park Jong-hoon pointed to.

“Ah, mic test. Mic test. Can you all hear me clearly?”

A youthful voice flowed from the speakers, and people answered, “Yes.”

This kind of noisy, lively atmosphere was a first since graduating from school. The orchestra also practiced regularly on weekdays, but the atmosphere wasn’t like this. Usually, rehearsals ended after going through the piece once or twice, and occasions requiring special passion happened only once or twice a year.

Hae-won sat alone in the middle of the audience seats and watched them.

“Everyone, please return to your positions. The professor is here, so bring him his violin. Yeon-du, give the professor his violin. We’ll start rehearsal in five minutes.”

Was she a violin major?

A short-haired student brought a violin case to Park Jong-hoon.

The classical music crossover with Korean traditional music was similar to gypsy music.

The cadenza, like in jazz, was a harmony that could only emerge when there was perfect trust among the players, continuing passionately and intensely for over five minutes.

It was a performance showcasing complex tempos, ever-changing dynamics, and dazzling technique.

Even for the cadenza parts, for Hae-won, who had always referred to scores composed by someone from a later era, their improvisational skill and concentration were unbelievable. The dazzling yet poignant, melodramatic gypsy music, meeting Korean traditional music, became exhilarating. Without realizing it, Hae-won became immersed in the performance, focusing on their music.

Hae-won, turning around with headphones on, startled.

Woo-jin, who had returned at some point, was taking off his jacket.

Hae-won, who had been listening to the album of the Korean traditional music group preparing a performance with Park Jong-hoon, took off his headphones and turned off the rather loudly spreading sound.

“You’re back now? You said you’d be late.”

“Thanks to everyone cooperating without complaint, we finished early.”

Woo-jin, having taken off and put away his outerwear, went into the bathroom to wash his hands and came out. His cold hands, having just been in cold water, grabbed the back of Hae-won’s neck as he was choosing music.

“Did your lesson go well? Today was your lesson day, right?”

“Practiced a new piece. Ah, and today, I…”

Hae-won had encountered a new world today.

The reason he had neglected music of other genres besides classical was that he hadn’t heard anything better. But today, he encountered a different world on another level, incomparable through simple comparison. His heart raced, his breath grew short—it was excitement he hadn’t felt in a long time.

Hae-won honestly told Park Jong-hoon he wanted to participate in the performance. With a confident smile that said he knew it would happen, Park Jong-hoon suggested making a contract.

It was an experience of his narrow world expanding.

To put it grandly, it felt like hatching from an egg. The overwhelming thrill, a new challenge as a musician, and things like fear—the thought of standing before the public and performing such music made it impossible to contain his excitement.

Hae-won was so anxious to tell Woo-jin about today’s overwhelming events that he was getting fidgety. Just as he was about to speak, excitedly, Woo-jin asked first.

“When should we go?”

“What do you mean, when?”

“You said you wanted to go on a trip. I took leave. The vacation you’ve been longing for.”

“…Vacation?”

“Yeah. The vacation our Hae-won was singing about. You can’t imagine how hard it was to get it approved.”

“Ah…”

Come to think of it, not long ago, he had pestered and urged Woo-jin to go on a trip, to go somewhere just for the two of them. Woo-jin had reluctantly agreed to his whining. As always, he had suddenly taken leave to fulfill that promise.

Woo-jin’s eyebrows shot up.

“What, you don’t want to?”

“Huh?”

The performance with Park Jong-hoon was coming up soon, and he had said if Hae-won was available, he would use him starting with this performance. He recalled Park Jong-hoon suggesting they meet tomorrow or the day after to formally draw up a contract.

“You said let’s go on a trip. Was that just something you said on a whim?”

Woo-jin asked, rather puzzled.

“No, it’s not that. It’s not like that, but…”

“Then why? I thought you’d be happy. You were singing about it. Telling me to take leave.”

Why are you like this? He asks Hae-won, who reacted awkwardly after being the one to suggest the trip first, in a soft and generous tone.

“From when are you off?”

“From the day after tomorrow through the weekend.”

“That long? Did you get fired from being a prosecutor?”

It was only four days, but for Woo-jin, it was an enormous amount of time.

It wasn’t a vacation period he could afford without quitting his job—the job where he pulled all-nighters at the Office and only stopped by his officetel briefly to change clothes. Both Woo-jin and Hae-won knew it was impossible unless he quit.

“Well, killing two birds with one stone. Since I barely got the leave, let’s go somewhere far. Okay? Seems like you don’t have orchestra performance schedules either.”

“……”

He would soon have to start practicing for the crossover performance, and if he went somewhere with Woo-jin, he wouldn’t be able to do any practice or performance.

“Should I have asked before taking leave? Do you have some schedule?”

Embracing Hae-won’s pondering shoulders, Woo-jin asked softly, showing the tolerance of an elder six years his senior, saying it’s okay whether they go or not, not to worry, and to speak comfortably.

Hae-won quietly looked at his face. Woo-jin asks with his eyes, Why again? If you have something to say, don’t worry, say it.

If Hae-won said he couldn’t go, Woo-jin would say okay and work during that time. If he said he couldn’t go, the one who would regret it was Hae-won, not Woo-jin.

As if erasing the music he had been listening to with headphones from his mind, Hae-won shook his head.

“No, no. I want to go on the trip.”

“If you have something to do, do that first. We can always go on a trip another time.”

“No. Who knows when we’ll have time again? I want to be with you, Hyung.”

“Alright, do as you please. But tell me if you change your mind. I’m fine either way.”

“Don’t you change your mind either. Don’t say something different later. Like you can’t go, or something urgent came up.”

“It’s officially approved leave, so that won’t happen. I had a light dinner, so I’m a bit hungry. Want me to make something simple?”

Woo-jin asked in an affectionate voice, heading toward the kitchen. Hae-won hugged Woo-jin’s back as he put on an apron and started cooking, pressing his cheek against his broad back.

While Woo-jin went into the bathroom to wash up, Hae-won took out his phone.

He called Park Jong-hoon. He planned to say thank you for the offer but he probably couldn’t do it, though he really liked the music.

It was very late to call someone he had just met today, practically a stranger, but since Park Jong-hoon had texted asking to meet tomorrow to make a contract, he couldn’t delay contacting him.

“Hello?”

—Yes, Mr. Hae-won. Did you get my text?

“Actually, the reason I called is that I don’t think I can do the proposal you made today.”

—Why all of a sudden? You seemed to like it, Hae-won. Playing in sync with a band will be easier than a symphony. Don’t worry. Just do it as you usually do.

He spoke, bewildered by Hae-won’s refusal. The sound of him moving, perhaps standing up from sitting, came through busily.

“Today’s rehearsal was really good. It was a fresh stimulus. It’s not that I’m worried, something just came up.”

—What is it? If it’s because of the orchestra, I’ll talk to Myung-joon.

The Myung-joon he mentioned was the concertmaster of Han-gyeong Symphony.

“A personal matter came up suddenly. I’m sorry for turning down your kind offer. I’ll hang up now.”

Hae-won hung up before he could say anything else.

He had already made up his mind. Woo-jin had taken a vacation thinking of him, wanting to be with him—what was a mere performance compared to that?

If there’s another chance, if fate allows, then maybe.

Just because it’s good music doesn’t mean I have to participate and play it to have no regrets, and Hae-won wasn’t the type to cling tightly to things that slipped through his fingers.

“Who was it?”

It was just after he ended the call with Park Jong-hoon, looking down at his phone with eyes tinged with some regret despite saying he had no lingering attachment. Woo-jin, who had just finished showering, asked.

“No one.”

“No one, and you’re on a call at this hour?”

He gestured with his eyes toward the clock pointing to eleven at night.

“Hyung, you take calls at two, three in the morning. Who was that? Who was the one calling nonstop from morning last time?”

“You know why you’re asking.”

“That’s why I’m letting it slide. If it was someone I didn’t know, I would’ve beaten Hyung up.”

“So who was it?”

“Really, no one. I got a performance offer today and turned it down.”

“What performance?”

Woo-jin asked, shaking his wet hair with a towel. Hae-won sat on Woo-jin’s thigh as if it were his own chair, naturally taking the towel from Woo-jin’s hand and drying his hair for him.

Woo-jin sat back leisurely, letting Hae-won do as he pleased, staring at Hae-won’s busy movements between the towel blocking his view and the black hair.

“A crossover between a traditional Korean band and classical. It was better than I thought. The composer from an album I worked on before proposed performing together.”

“When?”

“I ran into him by chance today after my lesson with the professor.”

“Why not give it a try? Sounds fun.”

“I thought so too and was going to, but I want to go on a trip with Hyung.”

“Is going on a trip with me more important? Your career is more important.”

Woo-jin wrapped both arms around Hae-won’s waist. He pulled Hae-won’s lower body closer, widening the area of contact. At the clearly intentional movement, Hae-won chuckled and finished drying his hair with the towel.

“I don’t like being in the spotlight. I prefer sitting at the very end of the second violins.”

“Don’t say that.”

“The performance is soon, so I’d have to start practicing right away tomorrow. Then when would we travel? Unless Hyung is someone with nothing to do.”

“So you’re saying going on a trip with me is more important than work?”

Woo-jin looked at Hae-won, who was busy drying his hair, as if he couldn’t understand at all. Hae-won put the towel aside and gazed at him intently.

“You’re good. Even to my tone-deaf ears, your playing is special somewhere.”

“…….”

“Don’t say that. Call back. Say you’ll do it.”

“……No.”

“Listen to me. Do you think opportunities like that come easily? You never know what the future holds. Call quickly.”

“I’ll handle my own affairs. Don’t interfere.”

“Hae-won.”

“Who says you’re not an old man, always nagging. My teeth are going to fall out from all the nagging.”

Hae-won ignored Woo-jin’s exasperated sigh, pretending not to notice, and rubbed his hair with the towel again.

He hadn’t realized Woo-jin was so concerned about his career, that he recognized him this much.

He felt grateful, and an emotion he’d never felt before welled up in his chest.

Somehow, it felt like receiving tender comfort, and his eyes grew moist. Afraid Woo-jin might notice, he avoided eye contact and focused only on drying his hair. That Woo-jin had deliberately made time thinking of him—he didn’t want to ruin it.

Hae-won valued Woo-jin more. He liked him too much. That was the problem.

“Ah.”

As Hae-won pulled his hair hard, Woo-jin’s head was dragged sideways. Woo-jin frowned.

“Sorry.”

“You’re something else. If you don’t want to, say so. Don’t take it out on my hair.”

He covered Woo-jin’s head with the towel, pulling the ends down to hide his forehead and eyes. Hae-won, who had been carefully observing the high bridge of his nose, philtrum, Woo-jin’s lips, stubborn jawline, and the sight of him supporting his weight, lowered his head and whispered against Woo-jin’s lips.

“……I love you.”

He kissed the face half-hidden by the towel like a mask. Woo-jin didn’t answer. He parted Hae-won’s lips and pushed his hot tongue inside.

—He’s a professor in the instrumental music department at the music college and performs modern classical music. His name is Park Jong-hoon, age thirty-seven, famous as a crossover composer.

“Are you sure you two met for the first time today?”

—Yes, that’s correct.

“Do you usually make such proposals to someone you just met?”

Woo-jin’s question wasn’t multiple-choice but open-ended, a question he asked himself, not the magnet.

He asked if it was possible to entrust an important part of a performance prepared for years to someone you just met, but the magnet didn’t respond to Woo-jin’s words.

“Thank you for your efforts.”

Woo-jin hung up.

The rooftop where he had burned Tae-shin’s diary was blowing a desolate wind.

It would be troublesome if Hae-won stubbornly insisted on doing the performance, but he was about to move to the next step; fortunately, Hae-won showed the reaction Woo-jin hoped and wanted.

The lips holding the cigarette curved into a smile.

“…….”

Hae-won was a creature determinedly made for him.

He must be a being prepared for him.

Otherwise, he couldn’t act like that.

This stubborn one who wouldn’t listen to words moved as he wished with minimal effort, carefully nurtured and coaxed, and surprisingly said only what he wanted to hear and made only the expressions he wanted to see.

No matter how hard he tried, situations rarely moved perfectly as he desired, and having personally experienced the limits of control colliding with reality since childhood, Woo-jin had lowered his expectations when it came to people.

But the existence called Moon Hae-won, perfectly controlled, was astonishing.

It was rare for the outcome to turn out so well compared to the effort invested. He knew from experience that such spoils were hard to come by before and would be afterward.

Woo-jin hurriedly crushed the half-smoked cigarette on the ground and went down to the officetel.

Hae-won was asleep, lying face down on the bed.

His bare back looked smooth.

Woo-jin sat beside him, running his hand down Hae-won’s spine. Hae-won, in a light sleep, flinched. Woo-jin lay down next to him, covering Hae-won’s back with his own chest, holding him preciously.

Hae-won twisted only his face to look back at him. After staring for a while, he pinched Woo-jin’s cheek and pressed his lips with a ticklish sound.

∞ ∞ ∞

“Where should we go?”

“Wherever you want.”

“Hmm.”

Hae-won, rolling around on the bed, lay with his head on Woo-jin’s thigh, scrolling through his phone. He searched hard for flights and hotels. When it came to actually going, there was no particular place he wanted to go. Anywhere he could be alone with Woo-jin, monopolize him, was fine.

While searching for flights, Hae-won stopped. If something came up requiring a sudden return from abroad, it would be a disaster. He didn’t want Woo-jin’s attention, like in Bangkok, to be entirely on his phone and laptop even while traveling.

“It’s fine to go far.”

“What if something comes up and we have to return suddenly? If Hyung’s phone catches fire.”

“Are you worried about me? You told me to quit before.”

“Hyung is sexiest when going to crush someone. A ruthless prosecutor who shows no mercy.”

Hae-won sat up, climbing onto his thigh, and pushed Woo-jin down onto the bed.

He undid the loosely fastened buttons, spread Woo-jin’s shirt open, and placed both hands on the man’s chest. He traced the firm, packed muscles of the chest and slid his intense touch down the abs to the pubic bone.

“What are you doing?”

“Because you’re good. You did a good thing, so I’m going to pamper you.”

“……I’m looking forward to it.”

Propping himself up halfway on his elbows, Woo-jin watched Hae-won settle between his legs.

Hae-won, who had hurt the corner of his mouth from being forced before, had been extremely averse to oral sex, so Woo-jin had to suppress his surging impulses.

But today, for some reason, Hae-won said he’d do it first, sitting between his legs, undoing his pants buckle and lowering the zipper.

Hae-won lowered the zipper, looking up only to gaze at Woo-jin.

Their eyes met. In his pupils, excitement anticipating lewd acts clouded hazily.

“You really like it. More than my hand?”

“……No. Your hand is better.”

“Then should I do it with my hand?”

“Yeah.”

If he had to compare, Woo-jin preferred Hae-won touching him with his hand over sucking him off. The actual, searing stimulation from a wet mouth was incomparable, and compared to the mouth, the hand was bland, but still, he liked Hae-won’s hand more.

When those long, neat fingers grabbed his hair, mussing it, and swept down his cheek, Woo-jin’s breath caught and trembled each time. Hae-won’s hand touching him excited him.

“Liar.”

“Then do it with your mouth. You said I did a good thing.”

“You did a good thing. The workaholic took a vacation because of me. Even though you work so hard, they don’t raise your salary.”

“I know, so hurry up and pamper me.”

Shut up and start quickly, if you made someone expectant, give due reward—Woo-jin seemed a bit more urging than usual. Hae-won found such Woo-jin cute and smiled faintly.

He finished lowering the zipper and pulled the pants down. Black briefs were revealed. Grabbing the waistband and pulling it down, the already erect genitals sprang up as if jumping out.

A sour, wild body odor mixed with lotion wafted strongly. He stroked the thickly grown pubic hair around the genitals.

“……Ugh.”

Grabbing the testicles nestled below, filling his palm, and rubbing hard, a pained moan escaped Woo-jin’s mouth.

The genitals with bulging blood vessels and tendons had a ferocious momentum, unbelievable that they were the same kind attached to him.

Hae-won wrapped his hand around his genitals and shook them up and down. Due to the weight, the penis wobbled, and sticky fluid seeped from the tip, wetting the glans.

“It’s like a rock but so elastic. Amazing, isn’t it?”

“Stop talking.”

“It’s hard.”

“Just hurry up and do it.”

He was really testing his patience. As Hae-won kept playing around, just touching, Woo-jin made a displeased face. Only then did Hae-won lower his head. His hair flowed down with it. Slightly parting his lips, sticking out his tongue, he licked the upper part where the sticky mucous substance had spread.

Woo-jin, half-lying and looking down at Hae-won, stroked the back of his head, then pressed down toward his own lower body. Hae-won closed his eyes. It tasted strange. Then and now, oral sex was detestable.

Usually, Woo-jin, who held him as if knowing everything from above his head, never losing composure, couldn’t hide his ragged breathing when Hae-won did it with his mouth.

As if wearing a cold mask of indifference, he pressed the back of Hae-won’s head with a heavy hand, applying silent pressure to go deeper, harder.

Hae-won opened his mouth wide. As wide as it could go, he took him into his mouth. Wrapping his tongue around the genitals and sucking hard, Woo-jin’s waist jerked and stiffened.

Before he knew it, the air inside the officetel grew hot.

The wet, slurping sounds of sucking genitals and Woo-jin’s ragged breathing mixed hazily. Because he pressed the back of his head, Hae-won had to swallow him deep enough to touch his throat. The genitals wrapped in mucous membrane hardened even more. They were too big, stretching the corners of his mouth wide.

Unable to suppress his excitement, Woo-jin grabbed the back of Hae-won’s head with both hands and pressed down recklessly. Hae-won, squirming with the large thing in his mouth, thumped Woo-jin’s thigh.

The heavily pressing hands left the back of his head. Spitting out the pillar buried deep enough to bend into his esophagus, Hae-won coughed violently as if he’d choke. Finally catching his breath, his face flushed red, he spoke.

“Hah, hah, if it tears again, I’m never doing it again.”

“Got it. I won’t touch you, so do it again.”

“No. I suddenly don’t want to.”

Coughing as if his throat was injured, Hae-won rubbed his fishy-wet lips roughly with the back of his hand. He also threw aside the genitals he’d been holding.

When he grabbed his hair and forced it in, it felt exactly like being raped, and it made him feel dirty. It was all a relationship he’d entered willingly—Hae-won had never experienced such a thing. Woo-jin had held him painfully before, but never pressed him down with force when he really disliked it.

When forced strength pressed down on him, it felt unfamiliar and scary. No matter how much he liked and loved Woo-jin, dislike was dislike.

The penis standing erect at the center of his legs, dripping fluid, glistened with moisture. Woo-jin sighed and, instead of coaxing or urging Hae-won, stroked his own genitals with his hand.

Hae-won, with a displeased face deliberately turned away, glanced at him. He was stroking his genitals, which had angered Hae-won, as if masturbating. The eyes staring at the lower body turned toward Woo-jin’s face.

“…….”

Their eyes met.

The eyes looking at him, as if waiting, held a metallic sharpness that seemed to pierce through him, gazing at Hae-won.

The raw gesture of stroking his own most sensitive area with sharp, forceful movements bewildered Hae-won. The eyes desiring him were eerie.

Staring at Hae-won sitting motionless as if restrained, Woo-jin rubbed his genitals with his wet hand. His breathing grew ragged, and his lower body twitched.

He wasn’t imagining any specific scene, nor was he recalling the sensation of Hae-won sucking his genitals just now.

Woo-jin masturbated while gazing at Hae-won sitting still with a terrifying magnetic pull. His hand gradually accelerated.

“Hng, ugh…….”

He jerked, frowned, and his body stiffened. Semen spurted from his genitals. Woo-jin groaned like an animal and slumped his body. The hand stroking the hardened pillar gradually slowed.

“Hoo…….”

He let out a long breath. Stroking the penis soaked in thin fluid a few times, trembling finely, he pulled a tissue from the side table and wiped the wet genitals and pubic hair stained with semen.

He pulled up the briefs and pants Hae-won had pulled down to his thighs together. Fastening the pants buckle, he picked up the documents he’d been looking at before Hae-won provoked him.

And without another word, he started working as if nothing had just happened.

Hae-won, feeling somehow sorry and awkward, fumbled and approached, placing his hand on Woo-jin’s lower body.

Without taking his eyes off the documents he was reading, Woo-jin spoke.

“Take your hand off.”

“……Hyung suddenly pressed the back of my head hard, so it hurt.”

“If you don’t want to do it, don’t. No one’s forcing you.”

“I hate being forced like that.”

“Right. It was my mistake, so don’t worry about it and take your hand off.”

Hae-won still gently grabbed and tapped the angrily erect flesh.

“But where does anyone masturbate in front of someone? It’s embarrassing.”

“Embarrassing? Who was the one who refused first in front of someone with a hard-on?”

Woo-jin put down the documents he was reading as if throwing them and sat up. Hae-won’s fingers drew helpless patterns on his thigh.

“That’s because Hyung did that……, you pressed the back of my head and forced me to swallow, so I got angry.”

“Can’t you handle that much?”

“I don’t like even that much.”

“Sorry, but you…….”

“…….”

Woo-jin, who had been about to say something, withdrew his gaze as if giving up and lay back down on the bed, fumbling for the documents he had tossed aside.

“What are you sorry for? What did you want to say?”

“Forget it.”

“What did you want to say? What are you sorry for?”

Hae-won asked why he stopped mid-sentence and snatched the documents Woo-jin was trying to look at. With no other choice, Woo-jin sat up again and glared at Hae-won with displeasure.

“What are you sorry for? What did you want to say?”

“You said you’ve met so many people you couldn’t count them even if you used all your fingers and toes. That you have over a hundred techniques.”

“What are you trying to say?”

“Sorry, but you’re not really attractive in that area.”

“……”

“And you have no technique.”

“……What?”

“I mean you’re not good.”

Woo-jin spoke dismissively and got off the bed. His half-naked back, clad only in pants, walked toward the kitchen. He chugged the beer he had just taken from the fridge. His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the beer.

Hae-won stared at him with a dumbfounded expression.

He wanted to fire back with words, to refute him, but countless words and sentences swirled only in his throat, unable to spill out.

Woo-jin also made demands, but Hae-won was usually the one clinging to him. Nine times out of ten, it was Hae-won who begged for it and stimulated him by touching his genitals.

It wasn’t as if Woo-jin forced himself on Hae-won when he didn’t want it, but Hae-won suddenly found himself speechless. His chest grew hot, and a bitter ache surged within him.

He had met so many people he couldn’t count them even with all his fingers and toes, but this was the first time he had received such a cold, harsh evaluation.

He was bewildered. They had all liked him first, clung to him, and pestered him to meet. Hae-won had never reached out first or demanded to sleep with anyone.

Woo-jin was a first for Hae-won in every way. He was an untouched field of snow, an uncharted territory Hae-won was clumsily treading.

He was the first man Hae-won had ever liked.

He felt like a scrap of tissue paper rolling on the street. He had never lived with a conscious awareness of his pride, but it felt as if that part of him had been completely crumpled and shattered.

He clenched his lips tightly. He bit the tender flesh inside his mouth. The teeth biting his lower lip trembled. Huddled on the bed, Hae-won clenched his fists.

After chugging the beer, Woo-jin went to the bathroom as if to refresh himself, washed his face, and came out. Ignoring Hae-won sitting like a stone statue on the bed, he only gathered the documents left beside him and sat at the table.

“Go to sleep first.”

He turned on the laptop he had taken out of his bag, ready to work seriously.

Hae-won glared at Woo-jin with murderous intensity.

He had grown up without major hardships or struggles. The only times he had been so heartbroken and painfully difficult were when his mother passed away and when he broke up with Woo-jin. Hae-won had no resistance to negative emotions.

He had never lived worrying about his self-esteem, so this moment, as it twisted and distorted, was bewildering. Hae-won’s hand tightly gripped the pillowcase he had been lying on, trembling uncontrollably.

It meant all the times they had slept together so far were just “not good.” It meant Woo-jin had only gone along with it because Hae-won clung to him, begged for it, and insisted he wanted it, not because he was particularly interested. Even the moments that sometimes seemed enthusiastic were likely just reactions to Hae-won’s excitement, something he couldn’t help.

It wasn’t just his pride being hurt—it felt completely crushed.

Hae-won got off the bed.

Tae-shin had said Woo-jin was affectionate. That when he slept with him, it was so good he felt like he could die right then, that he was so happy his chest felt like it would burst, that Woo-jin had held him so preciously.

“……Get out.”

“What?”

“I said get out. Get lost.”

“……”

His voice was distorted. It trembled as if he would burst into tears at any moment.

“Don’t ever come here again.”

“You’re the one who got me excited and then rejected me. Who do you think should be angry right now?”

“I didn’t even enjoy sleeping with you that much either. Do you really need to compare? You wouldn’t even make it into my top five.”

“……”

Woo-jin stood up. The chair scraped backward. Hae-won grabbed whatever he could get his hands on and threw them wildly. He threw pillows, cups, and Woo-jin’s books.

The things Hae-won threw, each with their own weight, struck Woo-jin’s chest and shoulders before clattering to the floor.

“I said get out! Get out……!”

“Moon Hae-won.”

“Didn’t you hear me?! Get lost! Get lost, you son of a bitch. Just how great do you think you are? Who do you think you are! Who do you think you are!”

“I told you not to say ‘you.’”

He grabbed Hae-won’s wrist as he threw whatever he could get his hands on. Hae-won panted and struggled. As he felt Woo-jin’s body heat and caught his scent, a sudden surge of bitterness and anger overwhelmed him.

He had liked Woo-jin so much that he even gave up his performances, which felt like opening a door to another world, the first time his heart had ever stirred like that.

He just liked being with Woo-jin. He was so grateful that Woo-jin, busy as he was, made time for him. Hae-won was so happy about it that he didn’t think about anything else, put his pride aside, and prioritized Woo-jin above all else. In front of Woo-jin, he didn’t calculate his career or future. Woo-jin was everything.

The Woo-jin who, drunk, whispered sweet words and said he liked him, loved him, was nowhere to be found now.

“Let go! Just because I said I like you, you think you can do whatever you want? How long do you think I’ll keep liking you? A year? Two years? Don’t make me laugh! Even toys I begged and pleaded with Father to buy, I never played with for more than a week. You’re no different!”

“What?”

“I’m not even sure I’ll like you till the end either. I get bored of everything quickly. Hyun Woo-jin, what’s so great about you? You’re nothing to me! Get lost! I said get out!”

“Moon Hae-won.”

Woo-jin firmly grabbed Hae-won, who was struggling violently. His grip tightened. The two bodies, stumbling backward, fell together onto the bed.

In pressing down Hae-won, who was resisting with his whole body, Woo-jin unknowingly used force.

Woo-jin climbed on top of Hae-won, pinning down his flailing legs. His hands, unusually warm, forcefully grabbed Hae-won’s wrists, which were struggling fiercely to break free, and pressed them down onto the bed.

“Let go! Let go! Don’t touch me! Don’t lay a hand on me!”

“Moon Hae-won. Hae-won!”

“Let go! Don’t touch me!”

“Hae-won. Listen to me.”

“I said let go!”

The violent thrashing gradually subsided, as if his energy had drained away at some point. Only rough breaths eerily echoed in his ears.

Hae-won, almost out of his mind, spoke tearfully, as if muttering to himself.

“You were so good to Tae-shin. Who do you think you are, who do you think you are to treat me like an idiot like this. Why are you like this with me? Was it because he was innocent and nice? Because he was kind, so you treated him well?”

His resentful, upward gaze wavered with tears.

“Do you know what Lee Tae-shin said? He said sleeping with Hyung was insanely ecstatic. That you were so affectionate, so ecstatic, it was so good he wouldn’t mind dying right then. Why were you so good to him? Did you enjoy sleeping with him? Was it better than with me?”

“……”

At the mention of Tae-shin’s name, Woo-jin’s gaze hardened. Tears Hae-won had been holding back streamed down his cheeks. He didn’t want to be seen crying. Especially not tears forced out in such a miserable situation.

Held by Woo-jin, Hae-won turned his head and buried his face in his own arm. He shook his arm with his last ounce of strength, telling him to let go, but it was futile.

“……Am I worse than him?”

His voice, as if completely exhausted, drained of all energy, asked wetly.

It was a voice filled with such bitterness it seemed to pierce one’s very organs.

Hae-won bit his lip.

Now he was even jealous of a dead friend. Because of this man before him. Even though he had so stubbornly denied it, saying he wouldn’t like Woo-jin because he was the one Tae-shin had a crush on, the inferiority he felt toward the dead Tae-shin weighed painfully on him. This was the first time he had felt such a disgusting emotion.

“Let me go. Just go. Please……, please disappear from my sight. Just leave me alone.”

“Hae-won.”

“Don’t make people miserable. It’s a request. Please, I’m begging you. Just go.”

The humiliation he felt for the first time in his life, the jealousy toward a dead friend, the minimal pride he wanted to maintain in front of Woo-jin—all of it came crashing down at once.

Woo-jin had said he liked that Hae-won wasn’t clingy. That he liked that Hae-won didn’t cling to him with annoying eyes, didn’t unreasonably demand his heart, didn’t act disgustingly. That he felt comfortable by Hae-won’s side.

Now, Hae-won had poured out everything Woo-jin hated, everything he detested, like an explosion. His hunched back trembled weakly.

When Woo-jin let go of his hand, Hae-won curled up, turned over, and buried his face in the bedding. He wanted to become a soap bubble and just pop. He wanted to turn to dust and disappear.

Hae-won still vividly remembered Tae-shin’s phone call after he confessed to Woo-jin and spent the night with him.

Tae-shin’s voice on the phone, delivering the news, was excited and elated. Woo-jin hadn’t coldly rejected Tae-shin’s sudden confession. He had treated him really affectionately, Tae-shin said.

「What kind of certainty?」

—Certainty that he liked him, whether he could take off his clothes in front of him.

「Take off your clothes in front of you?」

Tae-shin’s love-struck, excited voice said Woo-jin had asked if he was sure he liked him, if he could take off his clothes in front of him.

……What?

For a moment, Hae-won shuddered all over and opened his wet eyes.

Lifting his face from the bedding, Hae-won turned his head toward Woo-jin, who was looking down at him.

“Have you calmed down a bit?”

“……”

What kind of certainty?

Certainty that he liked him, whether he could take off his clothes in front of him.

Take off your clothes in front of you?

The question of whether he could only take off his clothes in front of him—that was what Woo-jin had said to Tae-shin.

“What’s wrong?”

“……”

He had said the same thing to me. He said the exact same thing to me.

He had told Hae-won too to only take off his clothes in front of him, that that was what mattered.

“Hae-won?”

Hae-won’s eyes, which had been holding back tears, stared blankly at Woo-jin, still wet and clear.

—I don’t know. I ended up confessing without even realizing I liked him……. He looked at me like I was crazy. I really wanted to die at that moment, but he said he’d think about it.

「So?」

—Hae-won, that person is really affectionate. I met him a few times after that. Then he asked me if I was certain.

「What kind of certainty?」

—Certainty that I liked him, whether I could take off my clothes in front of him.

「Take off your clothes in front of you?」

“Moon Hae-won?”

Woo-jin’s hand gently caressed Hae-won’s cheek, which had gone blank. Hae-won snapped back to reality at his touch and, though he had been staring for a while, looked at Woo-jin anew.

「Not just anyone, but I want to take off my clothes in front of Hyun Woo-jin. And I want to take off Hyun Woo-jin’s clothes.」

「Make the premise clear. Only in front of me?」

「I want to take them off. In front of Hyun Woo-jin……, only.」

Woo-jin slightly furrowed his brow. The hand that had been caressing Hae-won’s cheek grabbed the nape of his neck. He swept down Hae-won’s trembling back as if shivering with chills. Every time his hand touched, Hae-won’s body flinched.

Woo-jin had only wanted to correct Hae-won’s bad habit of doing whatever he pleased on a whim. There was no other reason. He couldn’t understand why Hae-won was reacting so violently. Hae-won was trembling in an emotional realm Woo-jin couldn’t comprehend or interpret.

He didn’t know what to do. This was an emotional undercurrent that couldn’t be dealt with through calculation or speculation. Woo-jin was inwardly flustered by the unfamiliar, surging flood of emotions before him.

He pulled Hae-won’s trembling back into an embrace. He wrapped his arms around that body. Hae-won stiffened even more.

“You’re not ‘not good.’”

A soft, low voice, like the gentle melody of a Guarneri, flowed from lips close to Hae-won’s ear.

“I lied because I wanted to do as I pleased.”

“……”

Woo-jin didn’t really know the feeling of being sorry. He was bewildered. There was still something in the world he was experiencing for the first time.

“I thought if I said that, you’d do it. Whatever I asked, however I wanted.”

“……”

“It was a remark to provoke you. You’re not ‘not good.’ To be honest, when I’m with you, it’s hard to hold back my sexual desire.”

“……”

“I’m holding back like crazy because I want to so much. It’s not because you’re ‘not good.’ It’s because if I did as I pleased, you’d hate it.”

Speaking honestly felt extremely unfamiliar. Woo-jin incoherently talked about his feelings. He had always strategically, calculatedly said what they wanted to hear, but now he couldn’t do that arithmetic.

“Seeing you cry makes me feel bad. It’s unpleasant.”

“……”

“So don’t cry.”

“……”

“Don’t cry.”

His chest tightened. A faint pain arose. Woo-jin pressed his hand firmly against his heart, where he felt the ache. The unfamiliar emotion was making him uncomfortable.

As he hugged Hae-won and tried to pat and soothe his back, Hae-won pushed his arms away.

Hae-won muttered with a dazed look.

“……I want to wash up.”

“Okay. Shower and come out. I have something to say.”

“……”

With a pale face, Hae-won got off the bed and went into the bathroom. He locked the door with a click and slowly took off his clothes. Entering the shower stall, he turned on the faucet. Warm water poured over his head.

Hae-won hadn’t paid close attention to Tae-shin’s phone call.

Most of the content of their conversation hadn’t stayed in his mind. Like the sound of TV playing on a quiet night, it went in one ear and out the other.

That day was different.

Because the content was about Tae-shin finally spending the night with the one he had a crush on, Hae-won couldn’t help but listen carefully.

“……”

His heart began to beat rapidly.

As if someone had pushed him off a cliff and he was staggering at the edge, his startled heart beat so fast he could hear it.

Hae-won wrapped his arms around his shoulders and stood motionless under the falling stream of the shower. Chills like goosebumps kept rising up his back.

He had said the same thing to Tae-shin and to me.

He said if you’re certain you like me, if you feel like you only want to take off your clothes in front of me, then tell me then.

Standing stupidly in the shower stall under the water stream, he heard a knock. Hae-won turned his head, startled. Woo-jin had opened the bathroom door and was looking inside.

“Why is it taking so long?”

“I-I’m coming out now.”

As he replied, sweeping back his wet hair as if he had finished washing, the door soon closed.

Hae-won hurriedly dried his body with a towel and put on a bathrobe.

He went out to the living room. Woo-jin, who had been pacing by the window as if waiting for him, approached Hae-won.

“Have you calmed down now?”

“……”

He asked. Hae-won shook his head slightly. He grabbed Hae-won’s wrist and pulled him. Sitting on the sofa, he made Hae-won sit on his thigh. Hae-won hesitated, sitting on his leg, and met Woo-jin’s eyes.

“Why were you crying over something like that.”

“……I’m sorry.”

“It’s my fault. I made you cry for no reason with a lie.”

He’s so affectionate, endlessly affectionate—just as he had boasted there was no one as affectionate as him, the current Woo-jin was caressing Hae-won with a gaze and gestures of unparalleled tenderness in the world. It seemed capable of melting anything frozen without leaving a trace.

Hae-won just stared at him with vacant eyes.

He said the same thing.

To me and to Tae-shin…….

He couldn’t tell where the lies ended and the truth began.

Hae-won knew that look.

It was a gaze and tone that one couldn’t dare refuse or deny, something only those in love could understand. It was clear Woo-jin loved him.

That’s why it was even more incomprehensible.

Woo-jin’s hand caressed Hae-won’s cheek, the nape of his neck, and his shoulders. He grabbed the bathrobe and pulled it down over his shoulders, meeting his eyes clearly. His gaze swept over Hae-won’s bare chest like a burning glass.

His back, stiff with tension, flinched. The two hands that had been stroking Hae-won’s waist rose and circled the protrusions of his chest with thumbs. At the intense sensation sweeping over him, Hae-won unconsciously grabbed both of Woo-jin’s wrists to stop him. The thumbs pressed and rubbed the protruding nipples.

“I want to touch you like this, I want to sit you on my lap and suck and bite you so much I can’t get any work done.”

“……”

Why did you do it? Why did you say the same thing?

Why?

Why……?

He was confused. Hae-won trembled and clenched his thighs. Under the hands touching him, desire proving Woo-jin’s words oozed out effortlessly.

“Move into my apartment.”

“……What?”

“You heard me. I want to live with you.”

Woo-jin pressed his lips to Hae-won’s chest. The damp, hot flesh felt against his lips as he took the nipple into his mouth and sucked it up with a gentle force. Each time he swallowed hard, constricting his throat, Hae-won’s lower body lightly jolted and twitched.

Hae-won gripped Woo-jin’s shoulders and moaned.

His crown, nose, the lips sucking his chest, the hollowing cheeks, and the slick red tongue were slowly chewing and swallowing Hae-won whole.

Trapped in the arms tightening around his lower back, Hae-won lifted his chin and trembled faintly.

∞ ∞ ∞

Hae-won said he didn’t want to go anywhere. Woo-jin chose the location. A hotel invested in by the members of the bunker group was about to open soon.

Some of it belonged to Woo-jin, and while the purpose of building the hotel was tax evasion, its use would likely become another bunker as they had anticipated.

In the car speeding up after passing the highway toll gate, Woo-jin glanced sideways at Hae-won sitting quietly.

Hae-won hadn’t spoken much since last night. He gave no answer even when told to come to his apartment, that they should live together.

According to the original plan, Hae-won should have clung to him, saying he wanted to live together, but Woo-jin had acted impulsively last night. He ruined the plan and blurted out whatever came to mind.

Lost in thought, Woo-jin tapped Hae-won’s cheek as he stared out the window. Hae-won looked at Woo-jin.

“What are you thinking so hard about? Don’t you like it? It’s a trip to a place you like.”

“I like it.”

“Aren’t you going to ask where we’re going?”

“Where are we going?”

“There’s a hotel I invested in. It’s under construction now, almost finished. No one will be there until it opens.”

“Ah.”

Hae-won let out a cold exclamation devoid of any interest or curiosity and turned his head back to the car window. Woo-jin reached out, grabbed Hae-won’s chin, and made him look at him. Hae-won frowned at the forceful action.

“Are you still angry about yesterday?”

“…….”

“I said I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s not that.”

Hae-won looked down at the phone in his hand and replied indifferently. Park Jong-hoon kept calling. He had rejected his calls.

“Who is it?”

“Don’t know.”

Replying as if annoyed, Hae-won put the phone in the dashboard.

Since it was a weekday morning, the highway was wide open. The car accelerated and sped along.

“Did you think about what I said?”

“What?”

Hae-won asked back at Woo-jin’s question. His eyebrows slightly twisted. Woo-jin looked ahead, adjusting the steering wheel, and spoke.

“Moving into my apartment.”

“What apartment? You’re not talking about your officetel, are you?”

“It’s under interior construction right now. I wanted to live a bit more stably, so I’m renovating the house.”

“What’s the difference?”

Woo-jin, who had been looking ahead, glanced at Hae-won. Hae-won was looking at his profile. Woo-jin’s pupils faced forward. They were driving at over 180 km/h.

“You commute from my officetel every day. What’s the difference?”

“It’s clearly different.”

“Doesn’t seem that different to me?”

“It’s different from just sleeping over and coming and going. I meant I want to live with you. Cohabitation, don’t you know?”

“…….”

“Don’t you want to?”

“I’m not sure.”

It was an ambiguous answer. Woo-jin disliked ambiguous language. It left too much room for interpretation and was unnecessary.

“Be clear. If you don’t want to, say no. If you want to, say yes. I’m not forcing you.”

“I said I don’t know if I want to or not.”

Don’t talk to me like you’re lecturing, Hae-won reacted somewhat irritably.

Something had been off since last night.

It was outside Woo-jin’s expectations, outside his hopes. Hae-won wasn’t showing only the reactions he wanted, the appearance he desired.

Since packing Hae-won’s reluctant luggage and putting him in the car, the vague irritation that had been subtly boiling and grating on his nerves was gradually taking concrete shape.

Woo-jin, who had been driving fast without lifting his foot from the accelerator, pulled the car over to the shoulder. The car stopped abruptly, roughly, causing Hae-won’s upper body to lurch once.

“What’s wrong with you?”

Woo-jin asked Hae-won.

“What’s bothering you? If it’s about yesterday, I already apologized.”

“I didn’t say anything.”

“…….”

His brow twitched. His chest rose and fell as if holding back anger, taking a deep breath. The knuckles on his tightly clenched fingers turned white. On his face, excellent in external and technical aspects but lacking something important, a faintly scratched wound was visible. A crack, splitting and widening.

“If it’s going to be like this, let’s not waste time and go back.”

Woo-jin checked the road signs. A nearby interchange was a few kilometers ahead.

Everything had gone as he wished, and he had gained as much as he worked for and desired. Hae-won was also one of the trophies he had obtained. He had only tried to weave the net spread around Hae-won a bit tighter. Fatigue washed over him. Woo-jin didn’t know where this fatigue was coming from.

As he was about to shift gears and step on the accelerator, Hae-won asked.

“Why did you do that?”

Woo-jin’s gaze as he looked back at Hae-won was combative.

“Why did I do what?”

“What are you talking about out of nowhere? If it’s about last night, I already said I didn’t mean it.”

“Why did you say the same thing to me that you said to Tae-shin?”

“…….”

Woo-jin shifted the gear from drive to park.

The heavy engine sound filled the car densely, where even breathing seemed suppressed. Each time a car speeding on the highway passed them, it roared with dust and instantly disappeared into a dot.

“You asked if I was sure I liked you, if I could take my clothes off in front of you. You said that was integrity. You said to tell you when I felt like I only wanted to undress in front of you.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You asked Tae-shin that too, didn’t you? If he could take his clothes off in front of you.”

“…….”

Staring intently into the eyes piercing him, Hae-won persistently asked.

Was this the reason he had been acting strange since last night?

He probably hadn’t seen Tae-shin’s diary; it seemed he had suddenly remembered the conversation he had with Tae-shin long ago during their argument.

Lee Tae-shin often called Hae-won, and they were on long calls. Hae-won said he disliked Tae-shin because he would ramble on without knowing Hae-won didn’t want to hear such things.

“Why did you do that?”

Woo-jin himself only learned he had said such things after reading Tae-shin’s diary. He didn’t say the same thing to everyone, but of all people, he had said it to those two, his friends.

At this rare mistake, his eyebrows twisted microscopically.

Woo-jin wasn’t flustered. He answered indifferently.

“I don’t remember.”

“You don’t remember?”

“I don’t remember.”

“Do you do that to anyone? If you want to sleep with someone, do you say that to anyone? Is it some kind of pickup line?”

“Yes.”

It was a trivial reaction, enough to make Hae-won, who hadn’t slept all night, seem foolish. Hae-won let out an exasperated sigh.

“So I took the bait you throw at anyone, like Tae-shin did.”

“Yes.”

“That lousy thing was your pickup line for older men?”

“It worked well. I’m good-looking, you know.”

“…….”

“And back then, I was out of my mind wanting to get you into bed somehow. I’d have said anything. Probably tried every line that works.”

“…….”

Woo-jin would never know, not being the one involved, what kind of muddy turmoil Hae-won felt after remembering the conversation he had with Tae-shin last night. It even felt like a pain as if someone had grabbed his heart and deliberately squeezed to burst it.

Somehow, it was creepy, depressing, and miserable.

Hae-won had thought he was special to Woo-jin, who didn’t easily let others close. That was all a vain delusion. He was just one of the many people who had passed by him. Last night, he couldn’t sleep a wink and had to toss and turn in that anguish.

“Anyway, it worked, didn’t it?”

“Are you joking now?”

At Woo-jin’s words, Hae-won’s eyes widened sharply. Unfazed by the glaring eyes, he replied.

“I’m not joking. It means those words have no special meaning.”

The nonchalant attitude completely disarmed Hae-won. He looked at him in dismay, then turned his gaze forward. Sitting with his lips tightly shut, Woo-jin spoke.

“Talking about fingers and toes, saying you’re not even the fourth or fifth, scratching people—isn’t that your pickup line?”

“Why were you so nice to Tae-shin?”

“What?”

“Tae-shin said so. That you were too affectionate. That you treated him so well it brought tears. Why don’t you do that for me?”

“He didn’t get on my nerves like you do.”

“You treated Kim Ha-young better than me too, right?”

“Is that something to say? Do you think everyone drove me crazy like you? Lee Tae-shin would jump up even if asleep if I called. What about Ha-young? She’s the one who changed her major just to look good to me. A piano student suddenly decided in high school to go to medical school and studied until her nose bled. What did you do?”

“…….”

Compared to those who were so devoted, Hae-won had done nothing for Woo-jin, to win his heart.

Liking Woo-jin was all. He didn’t try to make Woo-jin like him, didn’t strive to look good.

Rather, he only did things that annoyed and displeased him. He didn’t allow the positions or methods Woo-jin liked. He couldn’t deny that Woo-jin had put up with him like that and accommodated him.

“So because I don’t make any effort for you, it’s okay to treat me carelessly sometimes? You treated those two well because they listened to you?”

“Why don’t you stop. How long are you going to keep bringing them up? And they’re dead.”

“So it’s okay to treat me carelessly because I don’t listen, is that it?”

“I don’t get it. Who was it that answered ‘I don’t know’ to someone asking to live together? Was it me?”

Woo-jin genuinely couldn’t fathom what was in Hae-won’s head and asked back.

“You’re the one who suddenly said you didn’t like it and threw me away after sucking someone else’s dick. Not me.”

“…….”

“Come to think of it, you were also the one who said there’s a limit to liking, that you get bored and tired quickly. To me, who wants to live with you so much I even took out a loan to fix up the house.”

“…….”

“I forgot because I was flustered seeing you cry yesterday. That I’d heard such harsh words.”

The unfamiliar discomfort he felt seeing Hae-won curled up and crying last night revived. Each time Hae-won’s back trembled finely, suppressing the bursting tears, something sharp like a needle stabbed somewhere in his chest. It was a pain as if pierced by something.

Woo-jin rubbed the area where he had felt an unprecedented pain with an displeased expression. A dull ache like an aftereffect still remained.

“Back then, I was into you……, I couldn’t see anything. So I just blabbered whatever, did whatever.”

“So it’s something you say to anyone you want to sleep with?”

“Not to just anyone.”

“You said it was a pickup line.”

“I don’t do it to just anyone.”

“At least you did it to Tae-shin.”

“Yes. I did it to Mr. Tae-shin and to you.”

“……If he hadn’t died, if Tae-shin hadn’t died, you would have kept seeing him, right? He’s nice. Because he’d even pretend to drop dead at your word.”

It was an uncharacteristic thing for Moon Hae-won to say. An unfitting self-deprecation.

Woo-jin looked at Hae-won, who had sunk down.

“We would have broken up.”

“……Why?”

“Because I saw you.”

“…….”

“I’m that kind of person. I focus only on what I want. I don’t care if other things ruin or break because of me. Even if he died in front of me, I wouldn’t have cared.”

It wasn’t a lie just to get through this moment. Woo-jin meant it.

The words that he wouldn’t have cared even if he died in front of him were too much for even Hae-won to handle. Yet he couldn’t press him, asking why he spoke so harshly. Ultimately, the words Hae-won wanted, the words he wanted to hear from Woo-jin, were his cruelty of not caring even about Tae-shin’s death, excluding himself.

Hae-won felt disgust at his own excessively honest underside, thinking it was rather fortunate Tae-shin ended up that way.

Even if Tae-shin had been his lover, he would have refused no matter how Woo-jin approached, but Hyun Woo-jin was a man who would only be more drawn the more he was rejected, and Hae-won readily admitted that fact.

The fortunate thing was that Tae-shin died before he met Woo-jin. Hae-won bore no responsibility for Tae-shin’s death.

It was fortunate he died.

Hae-won trembled as if touching something horrifying.

“Crying again? I said I’m sorry.”

“I’m not crying. Just……, cold.”

Thinking Hae-won was crying, Woo-jin turned his cheek toward him. There was no sign of tears.

Woo-jin turned up the heater temperature. He took the jacket placed in the back seat and draped it over Hae-won’s shoulders. Hae-won pulled his jacket up to his nose, covering himself like a blanket, and smelled Woo-jin’s scent.

Woo-jin rubbed his chest as if he had indigestion. Since last night, since Hae-won curled up and cried, the area where he had felt a slight pain kept hurting.

“Does it hurt somewhere?”

Stealthily placing his hand on Woo-jin’s chest, Hae-won ignored his staring gaze and rubbed his chest with a soothing touch. Woo-jin stayed still as Hae-won touched him.

“It hurts.”

“Does it hurt a lot? How does it hurt?”

“It hurts more since the moment I found out you’re hesitating about living with me.”

He said softly.

It was a gentle tone, not questioning who was at fault for yesterday’s outburst or the argument where he dragged in the dead Tae-shin to cause a mess.

Woo-jin unbuckled his seatbelt. He unbuckled Hae-won’s too.

Hae-won lifted his gaze toward Woo-jin leaning his upper body toward his seat.

“Don’t say no. I want to live with you.”

Hae-won was an only child. He was used to being alone. Since his biological mother left him in middle school, he had spent much time alone.

He had grown so accustomed to being alone that having someone nearby felt bothersome and made him sensitive and uneasy. There were times he didn’t speak for over a week, but he never felt lonely.

Hae-won was someone who needed time alone and had such a profession. It was important for him to contemplate and rest alone.

“Where’s the apartment? Far from the officetel?”

“No, nearby. Close to the Central District Prosecutors’ Office.”

“I don’t like small spaces. It has to be spacious.”

“It’s spacious. I’m installing soundproofing to make a practice room too.”

“Is there a piano?”

“Yes.”

“What about the sofa? I don’t like leather sofas. They make weird noises.”

“There’s a sofa that doesn’t make weird noises.”

“Is it a high floor? I get dizzy and don’t like places too high up.”

“It’s not that high.”

Blinking his flickering eyes, Hae-won brought his lips to Woo-jin’s lips that had drawn near. A damp tongue parted his lips and entered. As he wrapped both arms around Woo-jin’s shoulders, Woo-jin’s firm arms encircled his back. Chests collided. His body sank deeply into the seatback as if trapped by him.

Each time their lips parted, a faint moan flowed out. He twisted against Woo-jin’s tongue, which was thoroughly exploring and licking every sensitive, heated corner of his mouth.

As if his consciousness was melting away, his mouth and lips grew sweet. It felt as if he had filled his mouth with honey. Tae-shin’s face kept surfacing in his mind, so Hae-won tightly closed his eyes.

Swallowing the sticky, sucking breaths, Woo-jin’s large hand fumbled over Hae-won’s cheek, hair, and earlobe. The languidly exhaled breaths gradually grew rapid. When the joined lips parted, a moist sound was heard.

“Mmm…, uh……, haa, Woo-jin hyung.”

“Open your mouth. More, open it more.”

He whispered right in front of his lips. Hae-won opened his mouth. When he opened it with an ‘ah,’ he was told to open it more. He opened it a bit more. Woo-jin’s tongue slid wetly into the small, parted red mouth.

The tongue that plunged in as if to lick deep into his throat rubbed the mucous membrane over a wide area. He sharply angled his head to deepen the union.

It was a kiss he wanted to continue all night, just rubbing lips, if time allowed.

Hae-won suddenly felt like he might cry.

He tightly hugged Woo-jin’s neck as if he would die. At the desperate clinging struggle, Woo-jin tightened his arms around his back.

Exchanging lewdly scattered breaths, Woo-jin pulled his mouth away. Hae-won hung onto his neck, half out of his mind. He stared at Woo-jin with dazed eyes. A dizziness as if his mind was turning white along with a slight fever rose.

“……What about the bed? I can’t sleep just anywhere.”

“I ordered the same one. A bigger one.”

“Thorough, aren’t you.”

“That’s just how I am.”

“That one’s handmade, so it takes a long time.”

“I’ll make sure I arrive before you come in.”

Woo-jin spoke while licking Hae-won’s wet lips. Whenever a gap opened, he would lick as if searching for an opportunity to pry his way inside.

Hae-won grabbed his hair. He gripped it tightly, then gently released it, repeating the motion as he enjoyed the texture winding around his hand.

“Is that true?”

“What?”

“What you said about it being hard to hold back your lust when you’re with me.”

“It’s true. I’m barely holding back from sticking to you anywhere. I’m confident in my restraint.”

“……Is that another one of your pickup lines?”

“Yeah.”

“Lame. Terrible.”

“Want to hear something else?”

His hand slowly pushed back the seat Hae-won was leaning against. Hae-won nodded, kissing his chin and cheek.

“But promise me. That you won’t cry again.”

“……No. I’ll make Hyung suffer.”

“Don’t cry because it hurts my heart.”

“……No. I’ll make it hurt.”

Woo-jin’s lips and tongue plunged deep into Hae-won.

They drove for two hours straight and stopped at a rest area once. Then, after another hour of driving, they arrived at the hotel built atop a coastal cliff.

Only a few scattered vehicles, likely belonging to construction workers, were parked in the lot. Both the parking area and the hotel lobby were quiet. Around the hotel, a coastal road ran alongside a bicycle path above it.

The sharp noise of metal cutting echoed from a distance. Temporary structures and barriers were set up here and there, indicating the final stages of construction.

They got out of the car, passed through the already open glass door, and entered the lobby.

Woo-jin walked straight over to the unmanned reception desk without hesitation, rummaged around, and pulled out a card key.

“No one’s here?”

“The completion is close, so everyone’s probably busy with the finishing work.”

“Is it okay to just take it out like that?”

“I called yesterday and told them to leave it there.”

Hae-won walked with Woo-jin toward the elevator.

Only the sound of their footsteps on the marble floor and the rolling of the suitcase wheels echoed softly. It felt strangely desolate. As if wary of their surroundings, Hae-won stuck close to him.

“The owner investing in something like this takes out a loan for apartment interior work?”

“If it’s necessary, you have to.”

They boarded the arriving elevator. Woo-jin pressed the top-floor button.

“It feels weird with no one here. Like the world has ended and only the two of us are left.”

A floor mat stained with dirt was laid on the elevator floor. The opposite side was made of full-length glass, offering a clear view of the distant sea. It was a place with a beautiful vista.

Hae-won grabbed Woo-jin’s sleeve and looked outside. Just as the doors were about to close, hurried footsteps were heard. Someone stepped into the elevator.

“Huh? Hyun-geom, what brings you here?”

The voice carried surprise and fluster from an entirely unexpected encounter. Woo-jin also seemed a bit startled upon seeing him, stiffening momentarily before returning to an expressionless state.

The tall man was dressed in a neat suit and wore a hard hat.

It was Lee Seok-joong, the second son of the K-One Group. A member of the bunker and another investor in this hotel.

“What about you?”

“Friends selected our company as the contractor, so I can’t just wipe my mouth and pretend not to know. I came down to look around since it’s nearing completion. I heard you’ve been busy lately, so what brings you here? To check on the construction?”

He took off the hard hat, which didn’t match his suit, and asked. As he did, his eyes landed on Hae-won, who was standing there holding Woo-jin’s sleeve like a child afraid of getting lost.

His eyes sparkled with interest upon seeing Hae-won’s face. He looked back and forth between Hae-won and Woo-jin.

“What’s this, who is this?”

“He’s my cousin.”

Woo-jin answered without hesitation. As if, in such situations, this scripted response and action were prearranged.

Hae-won glanced at Woo-jin, who had introduced him as his cousin.

“Ahh…, cousin. Ah, right. Cousin.”

Seok-joong gave a hearty laugh. His eyes were persistently and blatantly fixed on Hae-won.

“Which floor are you heading to?”

“Fifteenth. The lighting work for the restaurant area still isn’t finished.”

Seok-joong answered Woo-jin’s question without taking his eyes off Hae-won’s face.

Woo-jin, who had been glaring at him with displeasure, pressed the button for him instead.

As if set to a slow speed, the elevator moved sluggishly.

Hae-won, facing Seok-joong’s piercing gaze, turned his head to look outside at the sea.

Seok-joong’s eyebrow twitched.

Hae-won’s neck, glimpsed briefly, was covered with marks made by lips. His lips, sucked on for a long time in the car, were swollen and red. He looked tired and pale in an indefinable way. Seok-joong was someone well-acquainted with such aftermath.

Seok-joong turned his eyes to Woo-jin.

“Your cousin is quite pretty.”

“Is that so?”

As if to check, Woo-jin looked back at Hae-won. His eyes met Hae-won’s, who looked bewildered.

“You’re right. He is pretty.”

Scanning Hae-won’s face slowly, he added to Seok-joong’s assessment. Seeing Woo-jin like that, Seok-joong suddenly burst into loud laughter.

“Hahahaha. Ah, our Woo-jin is really cute. Pretending otherwise while cracking all the pumpkin seeds behind the scenes. You said you were too busy to even catch up on things, yet you’re even coming to the hotel for fun. Have all your ailments healed?”

It was the first time Hae-won had seen someone openly mock Woo-jin to his face. Hae-won glanced at Woo-jin’s expression.

“I’m still on medication.”

“You probably thought no one was here, but I was. Of all people. How sorry should I be?”

“Exactly, I thought no one was here, but someone was.”

Woo-jin chuckled. It was a laugh that dismissed everything as trivial and insignificant. Seok-joong’s brow furrowed at the laugh that didn’t even pretend to listen.

“You’re next. You know that, right? It’s already been postponed several times. If you want to renew your membership, you have to pay the fee. Isn’t that right?”

“Of course I have to pay. With something better than someone who brings cheap stuff without sincerity.”

The elevator arrived at the fifteenth floor and stopped. Woo-jin stepped back to let him out. Seok-joong gave Woo-jin a sly smile and looked at Hae-won.

“See you again soon.”

“…….”

Seok-joong smiled warmly even at Hae-won, who didn’t respond, and stepped out of the elevator. The busy noise of construction faded as the doors closed.

Hae-won asked Woo-jin, who was standing silently.

“Who is that? A friend from a group you meet regularly?”

“……Did I say something like that?”

He had no memory of mentioning the bunker in front of Hae-won. Then Woo-jin remembered, ah, he had. He had nearly broken up with Hae-won over a small lie. To prevent future headaches, he decided to tell the truth but abstractly, in a way Hae-won could never possibly figure out. Because he never imagined Hae-won would meet a bunker member alongside him.

“Are you short on money because of the apartment repairs?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You said you couldn’t pay the fee.”

“…….”

“How much is it? Should I pay for you? Is it very expensive? How expensive? Like a golf club membership? And where are you sick? What medication are you on? What’s hurting?”

“…….”

The elevator, moving slowly to the top floor with the suite, finally stopped. The doors opened, and Woo-jin stepped out first without answering.

“Don’t fall behind on that stuff. It’s not good to owe friends.”

Hae-won said, recalling Seok-joong mocking Woo-jin.

It felt odd to call them friends. Their accidental encounter here didn’t seem welcome. They rather seemed to dislike each other.

Inserting the card key to open the door, Woo-jin stared intently at Hae-won.

“What?”

Instead of answering why he was staring, he just kept looking piercingly, then as soon as the door opened, he grabbed Hae-won’s arm and pulled him inside without hesitation. Hae-won’s back hit the closed door.

Before Hae-won, pushed and colliding, could protest, Woo-jin grabbed both his cheeks and kissed him fiercely, as if to bite his lips. Hae-won swallowed the hot, invading tongue along with saliva. His throat gulped.

After a long while of rubbing lips, Woo-jin pulled away and stared piercingly at Hae-won’s face again.

“Hah, hah… You said you’re good at holding back.”

“Wait a moment. I’ll make a call and come back.”

Leaning against the wall as pushed, Hae-won watched in dismay as the man opened the living room terrace and went outside.

He knew something like this would happen.

Even though he said he’d taken official leave, Woo-jin was engaged in a serious, lengthy call with someone beyond the glass wall. As if worried Hae-won might run away, he occasionally turned and looked at Hae-won, who was sitting blankly on the bed, with a checking gaze.

The suite, with separate living room, bedroom, bathroom with a Jacuzzi tub, guest room, and dressing room, had a distinctly different layout from the hotel suites Hae-won knew.

Especially in the area that looked twice as large compared to the living rooms of other hotel suites, a thick pole connected the ceiling to the floor.

As if placed for pole dancing.

Its purpose was unclear. He fiddled with the pole standing awkwardly in the middle of the living room.

He liked the hotel’s location and rooms.

Since Woo-jin was the owner, it seemed he would come often, and he intended to. To come with Woo-jin, who always said he was busy and canceled, he’d probably need to finally get the driver’s license he’d been putting off. He couldn’t let Woo-jin drive alone for over two to three hours.

Woo-jin already lacked sleep. If Hae-won knew how to drive, Woo-jin could use the travel time to work or sleep, but that was only possible if Hae-won could drive.

Woo-jin had nagged him to get a license, emphasizing the dangers of taxis. Despite being a civil servant, he even offered to buy him a car.

It wasn’t that Hae-won didn’t get a license because he couldn’t afford a car. Not driving didn’t hinder his life. With drivers everywhere, he wondered why he should do such labor.

But Hae-won thought he should get the driver’s license he’d neglected, not for himself but for Woo-jin.

“Sorry. Did it take long?”

Hae-won, fiddling with the pole, turned his head at the voice from behind.

“Did something come up? Do you have to go?”

“No, I don’t have to go.”

“Then it’s fine. It’s okay.”

“Want to bathe? The view here is amazing.”

Woo-jin roughly grabbed Hae-won’s hand, which was fiddling with the pole, as if pulling it away. Hae-won followed him, crossing the living room to the bathroom.

They spent time in the Jacuzzi tub overlooking the sea, whether bathing or rubbing against each other, and emerged from the bathroom warm and heated.

Tying the bathrobe’s waistband, Hae-won approached Woo-jin, who had come out first.

He was standing by the bedroom window, staring down as if checking something.

Unlike the living room window on the opposite side with a sea view, all that was visible from where Woo-jin stood was the hotel parking lot.

Hae-won, scanning his backside covered only by a towel around his lower body, suddenly wrapped his arms around Woo-jin’s waist. He pressed his lips against the protruding shoulder blades and rubbed.

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing, nothing. Want some wine?”

“It’s not even open yet, and there’s wine?”

“I asked the manager yesterday.”

“Bold for a civil servant.”

“Civil servants also want to bathe together in a tub with their lover and drink wine.”

Rubbing his cheek against Woo-jin’s back as he turned to get the wine, Hae-won held him back, telling him not to go. They could drink wine later. He just wanted to stand like this.

The firm, broad back rose and fell gently with each breath he took, and Hae-won exhaled at the same pace and depth.

Droplets formed on the ends of Woo-jin’s wet hair, wetting the nape of his neck, his shoulders, and streaming down Hae-won’s cheek.

It felt strange to set the mood while looking down at a parking lot instead of the sea, but the location didn’t matter.

Hae-won recalled last night’s rampage.

He had blathered about not being confident in liking him for long, at most a year or two, and about returning the wounds he received. But Woo-jin didn’t seem bothered by his words.

If Woo-jin confronted him, Hae-won planned to protest that it wasn’t his true feelings, that he just blurted out whatever came to mind, and that Woo-jin had also spoken harshly to him. He had mentally prepared for some level of argument.

Woo-jin was quite a strange character too. Not ordinary at all.

If he liked something, he should just say he liked it; if he wanted something, say he wanted it. But sometimes, to wield Hae-won as he pleased—in short, to fix Hae-won’s bad habits—he would act cold deliberately.

Burying his face in Woo-jin’s back and hugging his waist, Hae-won recalled when Woo-jin had been cold.

He had been extremely cold when he suggested breaking up.

He remained cold after the breakup. And when Hae-won clung to him, he accepted him, saying thank you for coming, as if he had been waiting.

Was that deliberate too?

To fix Hae-won’s habit of acting willfully and not listening, did he suggest breaking up despite not meaning it, taking a risk?

“……When you said you wanted to end things with me back then, were you serious?”

“What?”

Lost in other thoughts, Woo-jin didn’t hear and asked back. He looked down at Hae-won clinging to his back.

“When you said you wanted to end it, when you said we should break up, were those words sincere?”

“Why bring that up suddenly?”

“You said yesterday wasn’t sincere either. That you acted mean on purpose to scold me because I wasn’t listening.”

“You only listen when treated that way. By nature, you don’t know how to listen to others, you’d stick to anyone who offers you bread, you drive people crazy.”

“So was that deliberate too back then? To scold me?”

“That time, I was sincere.”

Woo-jin answered without a second thought. If such a thing happened again, he would be sincere then too—his tone as resolute as his gaze.

“I didn’t want to be in a relationship that required enduring such fatigue.”

“Then why did you take me back?”

“Not seeing you was more fatiguing. That was harder.”

“…….”

“And I missed you.”

He missed him.

Entirely on his own.

That’s why he wanted to keep Hae-won under his influence.

Stealing the opportunity to work with a famous composer was for the same reason.

He didn’t want to show him to anyone.

Especially the sight of Hae-won playing the violin—he didn’t want to share that with anyone. It was fine if it was the last seat of the second violins in a dimly lit orchestra, but nothing else.

He disliked anyone noticing Hae-won and trying to give him opportunities.

Hae-won should only look at him, only listen to him, belong solely to Woo-jin.

Hae-won was someone he had to monopolize and enjoy alone, and he had put in countless efforts to make it so.

Since being diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder as a child and being ignored by his father, Woo-jin had been desperate in everything. Only by having results could he prove he wasn’t wrong.

His academic achievements, the broad friendships he deliberately cultivated—every aspect was far superior to his brothers, but Woo-jin’s father only favored his older brother and younger brother. He never praised Woo-jin, who had stronger desires for achievement and recognition than anyone.

From then on, Woo-jin developed a habit of using any means necessary to achieve his goals, and if the desired results didn’t come, he would suffer, believing himself inferior to his brothers.

He sometimes acknowledged that his obsession was too strong, crossing lines. He also knew well that Hae-won was increasingly occupying that space.

It was an important period. But Woo-jin canceled appointments. He postponed schedules. It wasn’t Hae-won but Woo-jin who abandoned his career, afraid Hae-won would catch someone’s eye.

Woo-jin recalled Lee Seok-joong’s eyes staring intently at Hae-won.

Lee Seok-joong was also a person with equally strong possessiveness. He grew up in an environment where obtaining what he wanted was utterly natural. Instead of giving up when he couldn’t have something, he questioned why.

“Why are you smiling?”

Hae-won asked, facing Woo-jin, who turned with a subtle smile.

Woo-jin untied the towel covering his lower body. The wet towel fell with a thud at his feet. His naked back was starkly reflected in the window overlooking the distant parking lot.

Hae-won unconsciously stepped back. As Woo-jin took a step forward, he retreated hesitantly.

“A sixth item was just added to my list.”

“Take Six?”

Hae-won took another step back. Woo-jin took a step forward, closing the dizzying distance. Something soft brushed against Hae-won’s calf as he hesitated and retreated.

It was the pristine white bedding no one had ever lain on.

“Yeah, take six.”

“Did something more important than me come up? I was number five. You said you always number important things.”

“No, not like that. It’s a list of people I want to catch and crush. If I don’t, I can’t sleep at night.”

Woo-jin shortened his stride. With each step he took, his erect genitals, untouched by any hand, bobbed and swayed at a distinct angle.

Watching this, Hae-won’s Adam’s apple bobbed. Light seemed to shatter and cascade over his bare shoulders. Even standing naked, he hadn’t lost his composure. He was intelligent and handsome.

He closed the gap tightly. There was no more room to retreat. Flustered, Hae-won plopped down onto the bed.

He looked up at him. Woo-jin swept his own hair back to reveal his face clearly and gazed down softly. The matte darkness of the black forest-like gaze gently warmed Hae-won’s cheeks without coercion or pressure. It soothed Hae-won, who had stiffened with tension.

“Will you put me to sleep?”

Hae-won, who had been looking at him with dazed, moist eyes, slowly lowered his gaze. What filled his vision was the space between the public servant’s legs.

“A person who says they want to sleep…, carrying something so menacing between their legs, a public servant not even maintaining dignity…, the country’s in a fine state.”

Hae-won placed his hand on Woo-jin’s thigh. Woo-jin gripped his erect genitals. He brought the glans, oozing a mucous substance, to Hae-won’s lips.

He pressed the tip firmly against Hae-won’s plump, feverish lips and rubbed intensely. The fluid Woo-jin had smeared there felt sticky and clammy with every movement of Hae-won’s lips.

Hae-won grabbed his legs. He buried his face in Woo-jin’s groin, which smelled of the same soap, and opened his mouth.

He didn’t force it in or press the back of his head.

Woo-jin obediently received Hae-won’s ministrations. When Hae-won pursed his lips and sucked and released the distinctly protruding tip of the penis, Woo-jin came, wetting Hae-won’s face. Warm, thick liquid moistened the corners of his eyes and streamed down his cheeks.

Woo-jin laid Hae-won down on the bed. With excited hands, he stripped off Hae-won’s bathrobe. The naked body sprawled on the pristine white bedding was a more breathtaking sight than the vast ocean.

Hae-won grabbed Woo-jin’s wrist, who was only watching from a proper distance. Woo-jin lay down beside him. Hae-won pressed close to him. Four bare legs intertwined. The sensation of bare legs rubbing softly made the spent penis hard again.

Woo-jin hooked Hae-won’s legs over his own and pulled him close. Their heated lower bodies bumped lightly.

“Still not sleepy?”

“Not yet.”

At Hae-won’s blatant question, Woo-jin smiled and shook his head.

He deliberately wriggled his lower body, rubbing slowly. Hae-won pretended not to notice his movements. Sensitive skin touched, distinctly overlapping. The volume was such that one could feel the shape, how and in which direction it was erect.

Hae-won raised his moist eyes toward Woo-jin, who was writhing below the waist, rubbing like a faint, tender current. His cheeks flushed, and his breath grew short.

“……Why is a public servant so lewd?”

“Thanks to whom. I used to be a saint.”

“Liar.”

“It’s true. I had no interest in this sort of thing. Sex was the most boring and stupid thing in the world.”

It was true. Sexual desire was among the lowest of his desires, and he tended to despise this savage urge that numbed reason and provoked impulsive actions.

It didn’t matter if he didn’t relieve sexual desire. Because of the limitation of having a physical body, he dealt with it as needed, but he had no particular interest or preference. He secretly looked down on those obsessed and swayed by it.

But with Hae-won, these acts were enjoyable. The process itself—being acutely aware of each other, breathing shallowly with tension, cautiously holding their breath, and exploring climax and pleasure from the depths—excited Woo-jin.

Moist, shimmering eyes looked at Woo-jin, rippling.

He tightened his arm around Hae-won’s waist and pulled his weight closer. Hae-won urgently grabbed and pushed Woo-jin’s shoulder, which abruptly reduced the physical distance.

His body jolted. Skin touched. They overlapped completely, squishing and colliding.

Lying on his back on the bed, Woo-jin gently pulled Hae-won up and sat him on his lower body.

“Ah…….”

With their lower bodies joined, Hae-won tried to sit up. A firm arm tightened around his back, making it impossible to escape.

Since they had time, there was no need to rush urgently toward climax. This wasn’t why he’d taken leave, but with his purpose overturned, Woo-jin focused sincerely.

Hae-won braced one hand against Woo-jin’s chest to avoid being pulled and gripped the bedding with the other.

“It feels weird…….”

The coarse pubic hair rubbing against his sensitive skin felt particularly painful. As Hae-won stretched, the arm pressing his waist grew stronger. He couldn’t move an inch. His vision blurred from the pleasure that boiled up like a fever, scorching his body. It was ticklish, painful, shameful, a contact that made his stomach feel strange.

Hae-won slowly rolled his hips on top of him. Pressing his groin tightly as if clenching his glutes, he rubbed up and down, pressing from above. The arm around his waist loosened, and Woo-jin lowered both hands to grip Hae-won’s pelvis.

Hae-won, who had been gazing down at him dazedly, drew closer to him. Hot breath scattered through his parted lips. Woo-jin lifted his chin. He pressed his lips to Hae-won’s and panted slowly. Pulling Hae-won’s pelvis down tightly and then lifting it again, he asked.

“Haa……, you’ve done this a lot, right?”

“……What nonsense.”

“You took off your clothes a lot in front of other guys.”

“Now that’s…, is that something to say, ah……!”

“Or, haa, what did you do playing with other guys?”

He bit his lip, suppressing a snort that threatened to burst out. It wasn’t just talk; Woo-jin was asking sincerely. As if urging an answer, he thrust his hips upward.

“What did you do playing?”

“Nothing…, just, just…, ahh!”

The intensity and speed of the friction gradually increased. Skin that had been dry and parched grew damp with heat. The rubbing sensation also became sticky, creating an even more vivid stimulation.

“Did you excite other guys like this too?”

“I, I don’t like…, this sort of thing.”

“Don’t like?”

“Don’t like, don’t like……!”

Whether it was this contact he disliked or that question, Hae-won tried to avoid eye contact and escape. Woo-jin moved his lower body. He collided strongly.

“Haa, tell me. Really, not even within five fingers? Me?”

“Ngh, no, no, ahh……!”

Lips that seemed to choke with moans trembled and thrashed.

He rubbed their tightly pressed lower abdomens recklessly, without order or sequence. It was torment and interrogation.

“Haven’t played with someone for over a week? Haah, haa, Hae-won-ah. Am I worse than a toy?”

“Ah, Woo-jin Hyung, no, no, no. Ahh……, ahhng…….”

He tilted his resisting head toward him. Hae-won pulled Woo-jin by the nape and kissed him. He opened his lips and sucked him in. As if pleading for him to stop this interrogation, he tangled their tongues and swallowed their breath.

Flipping Hae-won, who was on top of him, onto the bed, Woo-jin quickly climbed on top. A face fully immersed in unfamiliar intensity pressed down with a strong impact. A stifled scream burst from the lips buried in his own.

“Hng, ngh!”

Grabbing the flinching buttocks and pressing them together, he rubbed with rough strength, making Hae-won’s skin quiver.

He pulled his lips away. Thick saliva trailed down.

“Haa, was I wrong?”

“I was wrong. I was wrong. Hyung, Woo-jin Hyung, wrong, ahhng, I was wrong…….”

The corners of Hae-won’s eyes, begging for forgiveness, instantly grew moist. Tears streamed down following his gaze. Woo-jin licked up those tears and thrust his hips down. The bed creaked.

“Ahng, ngh, ahh……, ah!”

His limbs trembled as he came. Woo-jin, who had been moving rapidly, also stopped all movement in an instant.

“Ngg……, ngh.”

He spilled semen onto Hae-won’s sticky-wet pubic bone. Thick veins bulged on Woo-jin’s hardened forehead, and the muscles of his lower abdomen deepened as if forming a groove.

“Haa, haa…….”

Hot breath poured out.

He deeply inserted his spent genitals into Hae-won’s crotch. Blocking the moaning mouth with his own lips, matching its elasticity, he thrust his hips fiercely. Hae-won’s legs spread wide.

The inner thighs, weakened in strength, trembled as they received Woo-jin.

Hae-won, held by him, apologized, shaking along with his movements as he said he was wrong. He confirmed each thing Woo-jin persistently revisited and asked—that he wouldn’t say such things again, that saying he wasn’t within five fingers was a lie, that he’d retract calling him a toy to play with and discard—but Woo-jin showed no intention of stopping. Hae-won had to go limp and sway along with his movements.

Now with nothing more to come out or feel, Hae-won’s spine bent as if constricted and stiffened. Digging his nails into Woo-jin’s shoulder flesh as if to pierce it, Hae-won trembled violently. Pleasure that felt like propping up his spine arose. Moans of pain scattered through his parted lips.

Only after making Hae-won come twice did he fall asleep.

Hae-won, who had been blankly staring at the ceiling, turned his eyes to Woo-jin, who was lying with half their chests overlapping, breathing evenly.

Black hair was disheveled over that weary, fatigued forehead that seemed somehow unfulfilled even after devouring him to his heart’s content.

The heatedly tangled breaths subsided, and the hotel room grew quiet as well.

Outside the window, the sun was setting. What had been burning red turned into the crimson of dusk. Clouds were dyed the same color. The red sunset had already turned grayish, and soon outside grew dark. Wavering scales of waves shimmered faintly in the distant view.

The sensation of being held by someone softly enveloped his surroundings, with Woo-jin’s chest, breathing steadily, touching him. It wasn’t affectionate; he was just sprawled arbitrarily, relaxing his strength, but it wasn’t bad.

Hae-won turned his head and kissed the cheek of the man who knew no affection.

In the late night sky, clusters of stars scattered pale light like grains of sand, sparkling. Listening to his even breathing, Hae-won somehow couldn’t fall asleep.

On the bed, four legs were tangled. With trembling hands, he pushed off the weight of Woo-jin’s upper body overlapping his and extracted his own legs from the tangle.

It felt like escaping from a spider’s web binding limbs he could never handle on his own. Freeing himself from him, he placed his trembling legs on the floor beside the bed and picked up his clothes to put on.

The hotel manager seemed to have prepared nothing but wine. The minibar had neither chocolate bars nor snacks like peanuts.

He was hungry. After staring for a while at the bare back deeply asleep with no sign of waking, Hae-won took the card key and left the suite.

The hotel, still under construction, had nothing else moving besides him. Fortunately, the hallway lights were on, and the elevator worked normally.

The feeling of being left alone in an unfamiliar place.

He had felt this bizarre sensation before. As he got on the elevator and went down to the lobby, Hae-won remembered that this was President Kim Jeong-geun’s villa in Yangpyeong.

The deep, dark forest resembling Woo-jin, a desolate, dark forest where it seemed no one could find you if you got lost.

The stump with black burn marks left grotesquely in the middle of the garden. The eerie, gloomy feeling of that place was restored exactly upon seeing the black sea beyond the elevator’s full-length glass as it descended.

Perhaps it was because there was no one in a place that should be bustling with people.

He felt like the second victim in a horror movie. Hae-won rubbed his goosebump-covered arms with his palms.

He seemed to have passed a convenience store on the way to the hotel. If he walked a bit, he’d probably see it.

Thinking of the distance carelessly, Hae-won moved his steps but then abruptly stopped.

His gaze fixed on a corner of the lobby where construction was underway with partitions here and there. He walked slowly toward it.

He’d seen it somewhere.

“Ah.”

The sculpture placed before his eyes was one of the works in the photos Tae-shin had sent.

That day, Tae-shin called Hae-won ten times.

He called even before jumping. As always, Hae-won didn’t answer his calls. He didn’t even know the calls were coming.

Someone who couldn’t even be called a friend ended his life by jumping, sending his last record. That action of his felt grubby and somehow unsettling, so he didn’t even look at it, roughly threw it somewhere, and disposed of it as trash.

Tae-shin in the photo he saw that day was now standing beside the objet in front of Hae-won, wearing an awkward smile.

That someone seemed to have used Tae-shin’s work for slush fund laundering, that he seemed to have made bad friends, so Tae-shin was dragged into terrifying things he couldn’t take responsibility for and likely committed suicide out of fear……

Prosecutor Hyun Woo-jin, who said he would investigate Tae-shin’s death, had said that.

The objet he saw then was now placed before Hae-won’s eyes.

In the corner of the hotel lobby that Woo-jin was investing in and building.

Just as he was looking at Tae-shin’s sculpture with a somewhat dazed expression.

Even though someone approached and stood beside him, Hae-won only noticed In-young standing there after a while and turned his head. She was Woo-jin’s friend who wasn’t very favorable toward him and even mocked him.

“Cool, right? I bought it for quite a high price, and I like it. I originally planned to place it beside the entrance but moved it here. It’ll look even cooler with backfill lighting.”

She tilted her head as if viewing Tae-shin’s work and some painting on the hotel wall together.

That he seemed to have made bad friends, that some Chaebol third generation bought two of Tae-shin’s works at high prices, that they might have used the objets for slush fund laundering, so Tae-shin might have been swayed by them and, fearing the matter escalating, committed suicide…… At that time, Woo-jin said he established and checked all possible hypotheses and investigated but couldn’t find any reason why Tae-shin killed himself.

That bad friend he mentioned, the man who said he bought Tae-shin’s work for quite a high price, was standing beside Hae-won, looking at Tae-shin’s objet as if appreciating it.

That bad friend’s friend was now in the suite, deep in sleep after sex, in post-coital blankness. Even though they spent every day together, Hae-won didn’t know, but this man knew where Woo-jin hurt and had such closeness that they invested together to build a hotel requiring enormous costs.

“Do you know Tae-shin?”

Hae-won asked the man.

The man looking at the objet turned his gaze. When his eyes met Hae-won’s, they didn’t move elsewhere from then on.

Lee Seok-joong was staring intently at Hae-won.

With the same eyes that had been appreciating the artwork.

“Tae-shin? Who’s Tae-shin?”

“The sculptor. The person who made this.”

“Ah, his name was Tae-shin. The one who committed suicide, right?”

“……How do you know he committed suicide?”

“Heard from Woo-jin. That friend was cute.”

“Have you met him? Tae-shin?”

“I’ve met him. When buying something like this that’s not cheap, you usually meet the artist too. I don’t just buy anything carelessly.”

He said with a light laugh. It was an unpleasant smile. Hae-won faintly furrowed his brow and turned away from him.

“But where’s Woo-jin? What’s your cousin doing, leaving you here alone?”

“He’s on a phone call.”

“Quite busy for a prosecutor nobody.”

Lee Seok-joong shook his head side to side. It wasn’t an illusion that he felt sarcasm mixed into his words and actions toward Woo-jin in the elevator. He didn’t seem to hold goodwill toward Woo-jin.

“What’s your cousin’s name?”

He asked in a friendly tone.

Without responding, Hae-won withdrew his gaze from Tae-shin’s objet and turned away.

As he walked across the lobby toward the exit, the man followed Hae-won.

“Where are you going?”

“Convenience store. Call me a taxi, please.”

Hae-won spoke as if requesting service from a hotel staff member. The man burst out laughing with an absurd expression.

“It’ll take at least thirty minutes to call a taxi. I doubt they’d come all the way out here just for a convenience store run. Didn’t you bring your car keys? Or can’t you drive? I guess some people these days don’t know how to drive.”

“Why should I drive when there are drivers everywhere? If I just sit still, they take me wherever I need to go.”

“Ah, finally someone who gets it. That’s exactly what I mean. I hate driving too. But whenever I say that, no one understands. It’s so much more convenient with a driver. You just sit there and they take you where you need to go.”

He replied as if he fully understood Hae-won’s point. As Hae-won continued walking without stopping, he adjusted his stride to keep up.

“But those drivers have loose lips. They chatter away, saying things they shouldn’t. So I have no choice but to drive myself.”

As if to illustrate a flapping mouth, he opened and closed his hand near his mouth and made a displeased face.

Hae-won pushed through the glass door and stopped where the dark, wave-tossed sea was visible in the distance.

The dark sea… the dark forest.

They were lonely and frightening, but they resembled Woo-jin and seemed captivating.

“Or, since the convenience store is close, should I be your driver?”

“……”

“Walking would take about an hour. By car, it’s ten minutes.”

“Where’s the car?”

“Wait. I’ll be right back.”

With a smile that said he’d expected this, Lee Seok-joong disappeared a short distance away. Within minutes, a black sports car that would draw stares if left parked on the street came to an intimidating stop right in front of Hae-won. It was the same type of car Kim Jae-min drove when he was in Korea.

Hae-won disliked that car. To get in, you had to sink deep into the seat, and to get out, you had to struggle and grunt your way free. It was designed solely for speed, leaving little space. Sitting in it made him feel trapped, which he disliked even more.

Hae-won let out a small sigh and got into his car. When he stepped on the accelerator, Hae-won’s upper body was thrown back. If he was friends with Woo-jin, he must be of a similar age, but his disposition was so different from Woo-jin’s that Hae-won frowned in dissatisfaction.

It was only after sitting in the car for a while that Hae-won realized he hadn’t brought his wallet or phone. They arrived at the convenience store in less than five minutes, even though he’d said it would take about ten by car. The car stopped in front of a single-story building standing alone, shining its light by the roadside.

“Get what you need and come back. I’ll take you to the hotel.”

“……”

“Aren’t you getting out? Ah, I should go buy it for you. Right? Can’t have your esteemed self moving a muscle.”

“That’s not it. Can you lend me ten thousand won, no, twenty thousand won? I didn’t bring my wallet.”

Hae-won held out his hand, asking for money. The man looked at Hae-won’s outstretched palm with an incredulous expression before pulling out his wallet from inside his jacket.

“I don’t carry cash.”

“Then give me a card. I’ll just swipe twenty thousand won.”

He pulled a card from his wallet, which was packed with cards, and handed it over. It was a black card that Father had given Hae-won. Hae-won took the card and got out of the car.

He went into the convenience store and bought snacks, drinks, bread, ramen, hot bars, sausages, and the like. Woo-jin would be hungry when he woke up too. Hae-won walked around the store, picking out what he needed, and finally bought a large tub of ice cream.

He had intended to spend only twenty thousand won, and twenty thousand was more than enough for a decent shopping trip at a convenience store, but Hae-won ended up paying over thirty thousand won before leaving the store. He got back into the man’s car, holding the bag, and returned the card to him.

“I meant to spend only twenty thousand, but it came to over thirty. I’ll pay you back at the hotel.”

“You don’t have to. You’re Woo-jin’s cousin, so I should treat you to at least this much.”

“Suit yourself, then.”

Lee Seok-joong, who had put the card back in his wallet, held out a square piece of paper. It was a business card. Hae-won looked back and forth between the card being offered and the man. He extended his hand again. Hae-won took the card. It read: Lee Seok-joong, President of K-One Construction.

“Well, if you feel sorry, I’ll give you my contact info so you can pay me back later.”

“I don’t feel sorry.”

“That card has my direct line. I don’t give it to just anyone.”

“……”

Hae-won glanced at the card out of courtesy and put it into the bag containing the snacks and ice cream.

“I gave you my card, but you won’t even tell me your name? That gold leaf is real gold.”

He seemed to be referring to the embossed gold emblem of the K-One Group on the card. Hae-won opened the bag, peeled off the card that had stuck to the damp ice cream tub, and held it out.

“Just kidding.”

Woo-jin was now lying asleep on the bed. It hadn’t been long since Hae-won had shared an intimacy beyond mere physical connection with him, baring his most secret flaws, and now another man was pestering him, bringing Woo-jin to mind and upsetting Hae-won’s sensibilities.

Since he didn’t take it, Hae-won tossed the card back into the bag.

“Please take me to the hotel.”

“Of course I’ll take you.”

Lee Seok-joong turned the car around. The car, which would seem even more outlandish in the countryside, headed back the way it had come.

“Ah, if I’d known Woo-jin had such a cute cousin, I would’ve been nicer. I’ve always been pretty good to the friends Woo-jin brings around, though.”

“……”

“What was his name again? Tae-shin? I was really good to that friend too. Bought his artwork. For a very high price.”

“Hyung took Tae-shin with him? Where to… a regular gathering with friends?”

“Regular gathering? Is that what Hyun-gem said?”

His pupils glittered with a sharp light. His eyes, which had glanced at Hae-won, turned forward. The car was speeding past the surroundings. In the distance, the hotel, with lights on only on some floors, came into view.

“Hyung took Tae-shin there?”

“Brought him along. Sometimes non-members come too. Why, do you want to go? Should I take you?”

“……”

He had heard it was a place where friends gathered regularly. Hae-won had said it was a place he couldn’t join. And Woo-jin had taken Tae-shin to that place.

During their time together, it was sincere, he was really good to him and affectionate—Tae-shin’s assessment of Woo-jin hadn’t been false.

From the start, Tae-shin had no reason to lie to Hae-won about Woo-jin. Hae-won hadn’t known who he was at all. He hadn’t even considered him a real person.

While treating Hae-won harshly enough to break all his bad habits, he had been so good to Tae-shin. To the point of introducing him to his friends… Had they been that close back then?

Hae-won felt a fierce jealousy toward Tae-shin, who was no longer in this world. His chest burned. He bit his lip hard. The dead Tae-shin had once evoked pity in a corner of his heart, but not anymore. Hae-won envied Tae-shin and, at the same time, hated him.

“If you want to go, I’ll take you. Our Woo-jin really has no manners. His own cousin wants to go, and he won’t even take him. I don’t know why he lives so coldly.”

“Is that gathering something you pay to join?”

“No, not exactly… You need recommendations from two members and unanimous agreement from all the rest to join.”

“All of them?”

Even if he managed to persuade two people for recommendations, if everyone had to agree, Woo-jin would never consent, making it impossible.

“Do you want to join our gathering?”

“…Not really.”

“You need to have a lot of money.”

He rubbed his nose and spoke as if it were troublesome.

“How much?”

“Hmm… you’d need to be at least at my level.”

“What level is that?”

“Don’t you know K-One? The group’s Chairman is my paternal grandfather.”

“So what level is that?”

“You’d need to be among the top-ranked in the business world.”

The Gyeongwon Group, run by Tae-shin’s father, was also a chaebol counted among the top.

Was that why Tae-shin could go to that gathering?

“…Woo-jin hyung isn’t a chaebol.”

“Woo-jin has a lot of money. Didn’t you know? But not all our members are chaebols. I can’t go into details.”

“……”

“That bastard hides a lot. He deliberately uses cheap cars and watches. Right?”

Lee Seok-joong smiled meaningfully. On his left wrist was an invaluable, high-end watch.

He stopped the car in front of the hotel lobby.

“When should we meet to badmouth Woo-jin? I know Woo-jin pretty well. Seems like his cousin knows less than I do.”

“……”

Hae-won didn’t reply, gave a slight nod to the man staring intently at him, and got out of the car. Lee Seok-joong’s car sped away.

Passing through the lobby, Hae-won looked at Tae-shin’s objet d’art placed in one corner. He had heard Tae-shin hung out with bad friends. Then he got caught up in something illegal. The friends he mentioned were Woo-jin’s friends. And Woo-jin was the one who took Tae-shin there. Woo-jin had said the same thing to both Hae-won and Tae-shin. He said the same thing, and afterward, their relationship developed as promised. And Tae-shin died that winter.

The day after heavy snow fell.

It was suicide.

Woo-jin was still lying face down on the bed, asleep. Hae-won sat by the bedside. He lightly touched Woo-jin’s bare shoulder. Woo-jin flinched and opened his eyes. Frowning with dark shadows under his eyes, Woo-jin sat up. The bed was a mess, scattered with traces of the intimacy they had shared.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“…What time is it?”

Having unexpectedly run into Lee Seok-joong in such an unlikely place, Woo-jin had considered changing hotels, but after confirming his car had disappeared from the parking lot, he unconsciously let his guard down completely.

It was a hotel with no one around except a few workers. The sense of isolation, being left alone with Hae-won in a remote place, was familiar to Woo-jin, who lived overcoming anxiety and a sense of lack that set him apart from others. That isolation and seclusion were as comfortable to him as unchanging possessions.

“Nine o’clock.”

It was dark outside. Woo-jin, looking out the black window and exhaling a deep breath like a sigh, swept back his disheveled hair, then pulled Hae-won by the waist and tumbled him onto the bed. A soft scent flowed into Woo-jin with his breath, sweeping through his internal organs.

“Should we go out for something good to eat?”

“I bought ramen and some things. Let’s eat that.”

“Did you go out alone?”

Woo-jin, who had been rubbing his sleepy eyes buried in Hae-won’s shoulder, lifted his head.

“I went to the convenience store.”

“Where is there a convenience store?”

“Took a taxi.”

“……”

“Get up. I’m hungry.”

Hae-won pushed Woo-jin’s shoulder, removing the weight leaning on him, and got up.

They ate the ramen that Woo-jin called trash and refused to eat. Being hungry, the ramen he usually didn’t eat much tasted incredibly good.

After roughly filling their stomachs, they left the suite. They walked along the coastal road surrounding the hotel, feeling the night sea breeze. The wind blowing from the pine forest was cool.

Hae-won had no memory of walking anywhere with Woo-jin.

Busy with work, Woo-jin would come to his officetel at night and leave in the morning. When he said he’d buy something delicious, the places he took Hae-won were only room service from the hotel or private spaces in restaurants with separate areas.

If they met outside, it was in the car; even when traveling, it was to empty pool villas. When Hae-won was with Woo-jin, he never felt anyone’s interference or anyone’s gaze. He didn’t even have a memory of walking together in such an open place like this.

While Hae-won was kept hidden, shown to no one, Woo-jin had taken Tae-shin even to gatherings of friends he considered important.

“……”

Hae-won looked back at Woo-jin, who was walking with his hair down, in comfortable clothes, and with a relaxed expression, unlike usual.

“Are you cold?”

“No.”

Woo-jin asked at the glance. Hae-won shook his head.

They were walking a little apart when Woo-jin’s hand grabbed Hae-won’s. Fingers with prominent knuckles interlaced. It was an action possible only because no one was around. While Tae-shin had been taken to friends’ gatherings, Woo-jin had passed Hae-won off as his cousin in front of friends.

“Actually, earlier…”

“Hmm?”

The words wouldn’t come easily as he looked back. He didn’t want to ruin this comfortable atmosphere. If he spoke, the inferiority he felt toward the friend who had chosen to die because of weakness would spill out messily. Hae-won shook his head, saying it was nothing.

“Actually, earlier what?”

“I was a bit upset that you told your friend I was your cousin. Why am I a cousin?”

“What else am I supposed to say when I bring a guy who looks much younger than me into a hotel?”

“Are you embarrassed to introduce me to your friends?”

“…What?”

“Am I embarrassing?”

“Embarrassing? What kind of talk is that?”

“Are you ashamed to introduce me to your friends?”

“That bastard isn’t my friend.”

“Am I embarrassing?”

“That’s not it. I just don’t want to show you.”

“That means you’re embarrassed. You don’t want to show me because you’re embarrassed.”

Hae-won knew he was being petulant. He pointlessly shook the hand that was firmly holding his, trying to break free. The more he did, the stronger the grip tightened around Hae-won’s hand like a vise. Thick fingers squeezed his hand so hard it left red marks on the back.

“My hand hurts.”

“It’s because you’re trying to pull away. Stay still.”

When Hae-won stopped fidgeting, his grip also weakened. A warm, enveloping temperature held Hae-won’s hand preciously.

“Am I embarrassing?”

“Are you going to keep talking nonsense?”

“You didn’t even properly introduce me to your friend.”

“I said that bastard isn’t a friend, didn’t I?”

“If he’s a gathering friend, he’s a friend. What do you mean he’s not a friend?”

“Would I be crazy enough to introduce you to such trash? Don’t even get close. You might catch something dirty.”

He spoke as if spitting, revealing his disgust, not even wanting to recall.

He seemed to really dislike that person. It meant he didn’t want to introduce Hae-won to or show Hae-won to someone he considered trash.

His words and actions always confused Hae-won.

Making him feel hurt, then making him the happiest in the world, making him angry, making him cry…

Woo-jin was an utterly incomprehensible person. Hae-won had now given up on worrying about him. Worrying wouldn’t stop the feelings of affection.

“What is he, then? To your friend.”

“I said he’s not a friend.”

“…So you won’t introduce me to your friends? I have to just be your cousin?”

“In front of others, you’re my cousin. No one can lay a hand on you.”

“……”

“Didn’t I tell you? If anyone lays a hand on you, whoever it is, that bastard is dead. And I’ll wipe out his entire clan. I’ll do my absolute best.”

“Like wiping out a family, that kind of thing?”

“Yeah, that kind of thing.”

He frowned as if recalling something extremely unpleasant, and it seemed he was serious.

Hearing that Woo-jin had taken Tae-shin to the gathering, Hae-won felt insulted.

It was a toppled sense of inferiority toward someone he had looked down on as beneath him, and jealousy that Woo-jin had given Tae-shin sincerity.

He didn’t want to know where Woo-jin’s heart lay. Why did he evoke such messy, petty emotions in Hae-won? Hae-won disliked Woo-jin, disliked the dead Tae-shin, and even disliked himself for having such thoughts.

Just as he was sinking endlessly into such feelings, his words—that he didn’t want to show Hae-won to such bastards, worried something dirty might stick, so he hid him—melted away the hurt and disappointment like spring snow.

Only look at me, only want me…

He even dislikes anyone else laying eyes on me…

A petty sense of relief washed over him.

“In that sense, I wish you’d quit the tennis lessons too. Do something else instead.”

“Tennis? Why suddenly?”

“I don’t like the instructor.”

“You don’t even know who it is, and you say you don’t like them unconditionally.”

“You talked about it. Something about a former national team member, this and that.”

“Ah, did I? That person teaches well. Thanks to him, my serve has gotten really sharp.”

Hae-won mimicked swinging a tennis racket in the air. His body shook, and the arm holding Woo-jin’s hand swayed once.

“I don’t want to see the two of you panting on the court for an hour.”

“You talk as if you’ve seen it. Are you telling me to stay cooped up at home? Why don’t you tell me to quit violin lessons too? And quit the orchestra.”

“Would you?”

Woo-jin asked, brightening as if he’d finally said something he liked. Hae-won let out a hollow laugh.

“You wish I’d only perform for you?”

“You’re understanding well today for once. I thought your ears were blocked.”

Hae-won stopped walking and stared at him blankly. Woo-jin stopped too.

Hae-won looked at the hand tucked into one of Woo-jin’s pants pockets. On his wrist was a watch from a famously durable mid-range brand.

The Chaebol third-generation heir said Woo-jin was incredibly wealthy. In the eyes of a Chaebol heir, if someone was considered to have a lot of money, I couldn’t even begin to grasp just how much that meant.

As a member of a long-established medical family, he certainly wouldn’t be without means, but if Lee Seok-joong said it to that extent, it meant it was far more colossal than I had imagined.

Was he deliberately hiding it? Or perhaps there was simply no need to reveal it.

He didn’t wear a watch worth the price of several apartments, nor did he drive a car that drew everyone’s attention, yet he exuded an overwhelming presence just by standing there. In my eyes, it was Lee Seok-joong who seemed like a pretentious upstart, not Woo-jin.

Woo-jin had no need to adorn himself with flashy accessories to fill some inner void. Rather, even if he stood completely naked before me, unraveling everything, he wouldn’t lose his composure. Though swayed by desire, his eyes shone with a clarity untouched by regret, gleaming like a sharp light.

I found myself staring intently at Woo-jin anew.

The eyes that sometimes felt as cold as ice and as chilling as glass beads seemed endearing today.

At first, his tall, handsome appearance was so intensely sharp, as if his intellect could pierce right through people, that it felt overwhelming. But now, I could see a certain endearing and cute charm hidden in every corner, known only to me. Each part of it was specific, and all of it was lovable.

Under Hae-won’s fixed gaze, Woo-jin made an annoyed expression, as if to say, “What now?”

Though he also made that infuriating expression again.

Hae-won grabbed him by the collar. He pulled him close abruptly. Their lips collided as Woo-jin stumbled forward.

A breeze carrying the damp moisture of the sea swept over the nape of their necks, now merged into a single shadow.