By Zephyria It was fortunate for now that the apartment playground was a bit far away. While walking for a while, the cold wind cooled my head sufficiently.
But the moment I saw the large figure on the children’s swing, my heart became hot again as if I had been burned. So, I couldn’t take another step forward.
Cowardly, I just wanted to turn around and run away.
I wanted to keep running away, back to the day Sung Se-han left me.
If I could go back, I would never make you suffer again. I wouldn’t hurt you and would only cherish you.
Even if I have such futile wishes, the situation I’m in doesn’t change at all.
Without any room for excuses, the fact that I made Sung Se-han suffer and die didn’t change.
Even if I didn’t intend to, could that be an excuse?
Squeak. When I didn’t move, Sung Se-han got up from the swing. And he strode towards me.
Hesitantly, I stepped back and moved further away from the playground lights. I didn’t have the confidence to see Sung Se-han’s face in a bright place right now.
“Lee Tae-kyung.”
Sung Se-han didn’t come close like usual. He stopped ten steps away and stared at me silently.
Because it was dark around us, I could look at Sung Se-han without worry.
What was enveloping the perfect body that I admired anew every day was a black tracksuit. Because of the guy wearing a tracksuit that he didn’t usually wear, I was reminded of our trainee days together.
“I’ve been thinking.”
He must have been thinking alone for hours to be this late. Hoo. It was hard to breathe, so I couldn’t breathe quietly.
“No matter how much I think about it, I don’t know why you’re suddenly doing this.”
Sung Se-han’s expression and tone were very calm and composed.
“I didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Se-han.”
I put strength into my throat and looked straight ahead.
“Why are you having such strange thoughts? Is it a bad thing for us to go back to being good friends?”
Pfft. Sung Se-han let out a burst of laughter. That laughter made the back of my head feel cold.
“Lee Tae-kyung, you.”
Sung Se-han, who had cut off his words, tilted his head.
“Even when I betrayed you, you didn’t push me away like this.”
I resented Sung Se-han, who was wearing a black Ball Cap. Originally, his brown eyes would have sparkled especially under the lights, but I couldn’t see them properly because of the shadows.
“You were just angry at me, you didn’t sincerely push me away.”
I held my breath and listened to Sung Se-han’s husky voice. The fact that I might not be able to hear this voice, which was even better to listen to at night, often in the future, pained me.
“But today, you’re completely blocking me off. Do you think I can accept that without question?”
Sung Se-han maintained his composure like someone without emotional fluctuations. That silence felt like it was pressing on my heart and strangling my neck.
“That’s why, Se-han, I told you not to cross the line because this might happen.”
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t hide the fact that my voice was shaking. Still, I had to try my best to convey my exact intentions.
“I’m uncomfortable with you now.”
After spitting out the last words, I just wanted to disappear from this place. Or sink into the ground.
This is really the worst, Lee Tae-kyung. There must be a way to distance yourself without hurting him….
“Tae-kyung.”
Sung Se-han took off his Ball Cap and put it back on, so I could see his ash brown hair fluttering. But unfortunately, the beautiful scene passed by too quickly.
“Do you know what my Grandmother’s last words were?”
Sung Se-han showed me a gentle smile as I blankly stared at his face.
“She told me to never lower my value. To never forget that I deserve to be loved.”
I had never considered the possibility that Sung Se-han’s cold smile could be directed at me. So, even though my heart was collapsing, I couldn’t do anything.
“If you’re someone who denies me, then I don’t need you either.”
What…? My mouth dropped open at the shock of being hit in the head.
Deny you… Se-han, what are you talking about!
You’re the one who ran into the rain for me on that fierce winter night, how could I dare to think such a thing?
The moment I took a step forward without thinking, Sung Se-han turned away from me as if he was done with his business.
Leaving behind a cynical look that I had never seen before.
Wait, Se-han…!
Even though Sung Se-han’s broad back was quickly moving away, no sound came out as if my throat was blocked.
Suddenly, the ground seemed to be shaking and my vision was dizzy.
“Se, Se-han…!”
Sung Se-han is someone who doesn’t look back once he’s decided on a path. He just walks unreservedly to where he wants to go.
I know that well.
But, I had never imagined Sung Se-han leaving me behind. I had never even thought about Sung Se-han not looking back at me.
“Se-han! Wait a minute…!”
Even though I called out belatedly, Sung Se-han’s back was already out of sight. He was probably going down the stairs to the apartment’s back gate parking lot.
“Se-han!”
I have to catch Se-han before he goes to the parking lot. In a hurry, I started running, but my legs wouldn’t move as fast as I wanted.
Still, I ran down the stairs two steps at a time without resting. The sound of my pounding heart echoed loudly in my hot ears.
I’m such an idiot that I made him have ridiculous misunderstandings.
I just couldn’t stand the fact that I was negatively affecting Sung Se-han. I just wanted to protect him from getting hurt because of me from now on…!
“Huk! Huek…!
I was so frustrated that I couldn’t run as fast as I wanted because I was in a hurry.
“Se-han!”
When I just got out of the apartment’s back gate, I saw a sedan leaving the parking lot.
“Se-han! Wait, wait!”
I ran after the sedan’s tail as it moved away, but my legs gradually slowed down.
“Haa! Haa…!”
While I was catching my breath without being able to run anymore, the sedan that had entered the road quickly disappeared from view.
“Phone, where’s my phone?”
Only then did I rummage through my hoodie to take out my phone. The phone came out of my back pocket.
The time it took to press Sung Se-han’s number and for the dial tone to go was so long that I had to stomp my feet.
Beep— Beep— Beep— Click.
The moment the dial tone cut off, my heart sank.
My head went blank and I didn’t understand what was happening now.
“Se-han is….”
Sung Se-han rejected my call.
Honk! I flinched at the sudden honking and hurriedly stepped back. I must have been unknowingly blocking the parking lot entrance.
I looked back several times while hurriedly leaving the parking lot. There was no way I could see the sedan that had already left.
Even while returning to the apartment’s back gate and going up the stairs, I couldn’t sort out my thoughts.
What if… what if Sung Se-han keeps not answering my calls?
If he says he doesn’t even want to be friends, if he doesn’t want to see me at all….
Suddenly, my legs gave out and I collapsed on the stairs.
“Haa… I’m going crazy!”
I still couldn’t believe that Sung Se-han had turned his back on me. Just thinking about it made my heart ache and made the future feel bleak.
[That’s why I told you to cool your head and act calmly!]
“Ah, you startled me!”
[I didn’t want to give you the penalty selection in the first place because I thought you would act so emotionally!]
I clutched my fluttering heart and looked at the Status Window resentfully.
“You’re appearing without a signal now?”
[The signal isn’t in the rules, I put it in arbitrarily.]
“Ah… yes….”
I just thought it would look rude if I just sat down, so I gathered my trembling legs and got up from the stairs.
“Um, but….”
I was worried that having a private conversation would also limit the Status Window’s activities, but I couldn’t bear not to talk.
“You said Se-han deserves to be loved, right? I… I sincerely think so too!”
Even while daring to test Status Window, I was confident.
The feelings I had felt while experiencing many things with the Status Window so far were never one-sided. It was the Status Window that revealed clear and distinct affection to me without hiding it.
The moments when subtle suspicions that were difficult to express turned into a certain conviction were piled up in my heart.
Who else could it be but that person, that tenderness that protects Sung Se-han with precious and loving eyes? If not the person Sung Se-han loves the most.
[…….]
My heart was pounding in a different sense than before. It was something I was already sure of, but confirming it with my eyes was another shock.
“I cursed at Status Window and spoke informally several times, but please forgive me because I didn’t know….”
[Are you testing Status Window right now?]