By Zephyria Kim Ju-won wore a bitter smile, and then dropped his head as if he couldn’t bear it.
“If you come back…… you have to see that memory again.”
How could he make him do that again. The mumbled last words were almost like a sigh. Ki Jae-eon quietly looked at him, who seemed to have a heavy heart. Chirr-irr-irr- the sound of crickets chirping was faintly heard.
“…….”
Ki Jae-eon sipped his beer in a slightly more relaxed posture. He didn’t rush to answer, but the answer was already decided.
He swallowed the barley liquor he had in his mouth. The barley liquor, which had only tasted bitter until just now, somehow felt a little sweet. Knowing that it was quite mischievous, Ki Jae-eon twitched the corners of his lips. Is the liquor sweet because he’s drinking the worries of others as a snack? He has a bad personality.
But even though he knew it wasn’t right, it was also true that he felt good, so Ki Jae-eon had no choice but to accept his mischievousness. He felt like he was developing a bad habit of confirming love with worry. Ki Jae-eon smiled faintly, put the half-empty can of beer on the floor, and said.
“Thank you.”
At the unexpected answer, Kim Ju-won flinched and raised his dropped head. Black eyes under the hair fluttering in the night breeze shook as if he couldn’t understand. That look was somewhat blank and bewildered, as if he was thinking, ‘What did I just hear?’
“Thank you?”
A voice asking back as if he was dumbfounded.
Ki Jae-eon nodded languidly.
“That’s…… one of the ways you protect me, right.”
Kim Ju-won’s expression twisted.
It was a face that seemed to say, ‘How can a person be like this?’
He didn’t even get angry, but rather, his broad heart that embraced him was…… an personality that couldn’t be explained by just saying he had a large capacity.
However, that made him even more ashamed and sorry. You always make me look back at myself. Kim Ju-won felt the tips of his ears getting hot.
His heart was pounding wildly on its own.
It felt like he was hearing the sound of thumping.
Eventually, guilt disappeared and a new emotion sprouted.
Like a match being lit, emotions blazed with just a short touch.
Without realizing it, his fingers fidgeted with the corner of the blanket. Instead of Ki Jae-eon’s cheeks, he gently, but affectionately, stroked it, repeatedly grasping and releasing it. Whee-ee-ee-. The wind brushed against his cheek, and his gaze couldn’t leave the vicinity of Ki Jae-eon’s lips. Am I being too cheesy right now? Thinking such foolish thoughts, Kim Ju-won accurately recalled the word ‘fell in love’ for the first time.
All the roads he had taken, going around and around, stopped in front of that word. No matter what flowery language he attached, that was it in the end. He couldn’t deny it. Ah, that’s right. I like this guy’s integrity, his kindness, his perseverance.
Yes, I like him.
He’s a good person.
‘I like Ki Jae-eon.’
The moment he realized it, his face became hot.
An almost ticklish feeling before sneezing rose between his eyes and nose, and even when he breathed, his chest pounded with a strange rhythm.
Exciting, embarrassing, and a little foolish.
Kim Ju-won covered his face with his palm. I can’t do it, I give up. I can’t help but like you.
It was the first time he had lost so refreshingly.
It was the first time, but it wasn’t bad. No, it was refreshing.
It was a defeat that he was truly grateful for you to win.
“What’s wrong?”
Ki Jae-eon tilted his head with wide eyes.
“Your face is red.”
At the clueless worry, Kim Ju-won blew his breath and swept his bangs back. His hair lifted slightly from his forehead and then fell back down. The heat was still there, but he turned his head as if it wasn’t a big deal.
“I drank alcohol.”
Well, it’s only one bottle.
It was too insincere to use as an excuse. Still, fortunately, the other person was quite ignorant about alcohol. He didn’t know anything about alcohol tolerance, and just nodded indifferently, as if saying, ‘Oh, I see.’ At that one simple expression, Kim Ju-won swallowed a bitter smile inside.
“But, you-.”
After a moment of silence, Kim Ju-won straightened his posture.
Chirr-irr-irr-.
“…….”
He rested his chin on his hand, looked at the sky silently for a while, and then opened his lips hesitantly.
“If you remember everything, do you perhaps remember that too?”
“What thing?”
“The tarot reading we had last time.”
“Tarot?”
“Yeah.”
Ki Jae-eon had a thoughtful look on his face for a moment. His eyes narrowed as if he was rummaging through his memories. Then he trailed off, saying, “Ah, on the street…….” It was a tone that said he vaguely remembered it, although it wasn’t very important.
After recalling the memory, he twisted the corners of his lips very slightly after a moment of silence. Unlike usual, a faint mischievousness seemed to be visible. Perhaps it was because the alcohol was kicking in.
“Why, did you get a crush on someone?”
“Huh?”
When Kim Ju-won asked back with a dazed voice, Ki Jae-eon raised a can of beer with one hand. The metal made a small clinking sound. A night mixed with alcohol, an unusual question. Even a clueless person would have no choice but to notice in this kind of atmosphere.
Relationship advice. Something like that.
The kind of thing that you would call youth.
Ki Jae-eon shrugged his shoulders, giving off a nuance of ‘I’ll listen’. His eyes sparkled under the dim light.
“I don’t know if it will be helpful…… but I’ll worry with you.”
He said that he could listen as a friend, saying that you usually talk about these things at times like this. The corners of Ki Jae-eon’s lips were slightly raised at the word friend. Perhaps because this was the first time he was in this kind of situation, he seemed somehow happy.
But if there are people who can laugh comfortably, there are also people who can’t.
Unfortunately, Kim Ju-won was currently like that.
He stiffened with an awkward smile.
The word friend suddenly felt unfamiliar.
Did it originally have such a stinging resonance?
It felt like he had been dumped as soon as he realized his love.
But he couldn’t blame the innocent Ki Jae-eon.
‘You’re consistent, but I’m the one who’s changed.’
Kim Ju-won took a breath and asked back as if nothing was wrong.
“……What about you?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, well. Do you have a…… girl you like?”
Ki Jae-eon’s eyebrows twitched slightly.
“Girl?”
“It’s not a guy, is it.”
Kim Ju-won spoke as if he was nonchalant.
It was so brazen that he almost felt a pang of conscience even as he said it. He was being cunning even though he knew that Ahn Seo-myeong liked him.
But he stubbornly pretended not to know.
Even if his tongue twisted and his heart ached.
This was like a last-ditch effort, like his friend’s from the past.
Anxiousness, in other words, fear.
Whether he knew Kim Ju-won’s inner thoughts or not, Ki Jae-eon opened his lips slightly at the full-fledged love story, and said with a slightly embarrassed expression.
“I…… I don’t care about gender.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t think I’d care if it was a guy or a girl.”
If I like them-.
A cool breeze slightly lifted the edge of the blanket and passed by. The air between the two changed very slightly. No, to be exact, only Kim Ju-won’s did. The weight on his chest became heavy, and his fingers trembled.
That one sentence, uttered softly, brought a tingling pain.
“…….”
After a strange silence, Kim Ju-won quietly nodded. Yes, that’s right. The sorrow that he couldn’t utter flowed out from his silently moving lips.
Even so, he somehow thought it was like Ki Jae-eon.
“Ah, well, never mind my story……”
Ki Jae-eon pursed his lips, his face slightly flushed. His posture indicated he was ready to listen to the other person’s story.
Kim Ju-won averted his gaze from that kind face and paused, lost in thought.
‘What would happen if I told him now?’
That the person I like is you.
I realized it today, but it feels like an emotion I’ve been nurturing for a long time.
You’d be surprised, but I was surprised too.
If I begged, would he pay me a little attention?
‘But……’
I don’t see a bright future.
To be honest, I’m scared.
I can’t act like Ahn Seo-myeong.
‘I can’t bear to see that look of dislike on your face.’
He slowly inhaled and exhaled.
“Pretty, ……she’s a pretty person.”
“Ah! Oh, uh-huh.”
Ki Jae-eon was listening more intently than ever. He didn’t even realize he was talking about himself, how cute.
Kim Ju-won smacked his lips once, then lightly got up from his seat and dusted off his backside.
“……That’s all there is to it.”
It feels like that’s all it will be. In a self-deprecating smile, the confession scatters without even taking shape.
“You’re not going to tell her?”
At Ki Jae-eon’s question, Kim Ju-won shrugged.
“You’re no good at counseling, so I won’t.”
Love was a beginning, and the beginning resembled an end.