By Zephyria A short silence spread thinly on the ground. Even the wind seemed to hold its breath, and only a cold stillness flowed. With a rustle, the sound of clothes brushing together, long legs folded and knees went down. On the dirty soil floor, stained with the specter’s blood, the one called the strongest Exorcist knelt on both knees.
‘What a fitting sight.’
Shin Yoon mocked him deep in his heart.
As much as that, he couldn’t find any dignity or grace in him. He was just the image of a perfect loser.
But strangely, he was also calm.
He had neither the wretchedness nor the gloom peculiar to a loser.
‘Even though he’s collared, what’s he so confident about.’
That attitude rather grated on Shin Yoon’s nerves.
What he wanted wasn’t just simple obedience.
But greater despair and shame.
‘Break down more.’
Shin Yoon twitched his eyebrows and stared at Ki Jae-eon. Perhaps he noticed that stinging gaze, because he then prostrated himself flat on the floor without hesitation. Like a vassal encountering a king, he lowered himself, pressing his forehead to the ground.
‘……He’s obedient.’
Did he abandon his pride, or did he pretend to abandon it?
No, he knew the answer.
He bent himself over to save others.
Well, that’s right.
[How far can you go for someone precious?]
He knows better than anyone the desperation to save them, even if it means going to hell, let alone saving face. He also knows that it’s impossible with a moderate compromise.
That’s why he wanted to trample on him even more.
‘Can you understand now? How long I’ve been enduring in the place where you’re prostrating yourself.’
Shin Yoon smirked and asked.
“Are you reflecting?”
Even at his question, Ki Jae-eon still didn’t lift his forehead. Instead, he brought his face close to the damp soil floor, smelling of blood, and took slow breaths.
“Do you know how I felt when I lost Yun-i now?”
Shin Yoon got up from his seat and approached him. His steps were light, but his energy was savage. Step by step, the path he had passed was red.
“Can’t you hear me?”
Without a word, he placed the tip of his foot under Ki Jae-eon’s chin.
As he slowly raised his instep like that, his head followed. It was a very submissive attitude, without any resistance.
“Why are you so scared now that you’re in my position?”
It was when the mockery continued for a long time.
Ki Jae-eon’s lips opened very slowly.
“I’ll ask the opposite.”
“……?”
“Does me doing this relieve your anger?”
Shin Yoon’s teeth snapped together.
As if that moment of silence was the answer, Ki Jae-eon straightened up without hesitation. He dusted himself off and faced Shin Yoon directly. His eyes were not clouded, and there was no negative emotion. Instead, a cool pity lingered at the end of his gaze.
“You’re not angry at me.”
“…….”
“You just need someone to blame.”
“What are you saying? You’re just spouting nonsense because you’re in a hurry.”
“Actually, you knew it too. That it wouldn’t work no matter how many experiments we did…. It was wrong from the start. You just didn’t want to admit it.”
“You’re being too presumptuous.”
“The one you really resent isn’t me.”
You know. Who made that young specter suffer the most. At Ki Jae-eon’s muttering, Shin Yoon smirked. There was clear contempt mixed in that smile.
“Wow……. You, your memories have really returned. Wow, I should congratulate you, but what should I do? There’s no one to be happy for you. They’re all dead.”
It was a way of speaking that deliberately stabbed deeper, as if trying to excite the other person.
But all that came back was silence.
‘What? The reaction is shit.’
Shin Yoon narrowed his eyes as if gauging Ki Jae-eon.
‘Is this bastard trying to provoke me?’
Or maybe he judged that there was no answer and was fighting fire with fire.
‘A trick to emotionally shake me and make me careless…….’
But there was no anger in the eyes of the guy he faced. That’s when he realized.
This is genuine.
Not acting, not mockery.
Ki Jae-eon was genuinely pitying him.
‘Is he crazy?’
Knowing what I’m holding hostage right now.
‘How dare he…….’
That fact was even more insulting.
Not only was he being disturbed, but he was also being pitied?
The feeling of his stomach twisting was clear.
The other person’s calm expression and benevolence, rather, gave him a feeling of being looked down upon.
“You’re really annoying.”
Shin Yoon rubbed his teeth with the tip of his tongue.
As his cheeks twitched, his eyes grew colder.
“Yoon-ah.”
“…….”
“I have nothing to lose now.”
“…….”
“Shall I show you? How far I can fall.”
“…….”
“I’m warning you, don’t make fun of people. I’m good at clinging on.”
‘Enough, wake up.’
When I woke up, everything came back to me.
The first life.
That series of processes.
Family, main office, and about me too.
It wasn’t as complicated as I thought. As if files that had been messily placed were put back in their place with a single click, the memories were neatly arranged. There was no shock either. Rather, I was strangely calm. Only a calm feeling of ‘Why did I forget?’ remained in my head.
No, except for one person…… Ahn Seo-myeong.
The moment that name came to mind, something inside me clunked loudly and broke down.
A confession that should not be heard.
A kiss that should not be done.
The sense of stability that I felt because of it.
Only then did I finally understand the confusion of ‘me who lost my memory’. Ah, so this is how it felt.
‘Ki Jae-eon, you crazy bastard.’
Yeah, I’m a crazy bastard.
I’m not in my right mind!
‘Why did you do that.’
I felt like grabbing myself by the collar and shouting.
Knowing who Seo-myeong is…… not knowing what kind of existence he is to me.
How could I do that to a comrade, a younger brother, a friend!
But it’s no use regretting it now.
I’ve already crossed the line with Ahn Seo-myeong.
The responsibility was mine.
‘First, I need to have a serious talk with Seo-myeong.’
I was preparing myself for the aftermath. A chill ran through my body, and my head naturally turned.
‘……This is.’
I instinctively got up.
A humid and sticky energy swirled around and wrapped around my skin. A bad feeling made the back of my head tingle.
Thud!
Soon after, I felt the vibration of the floor echoing loudly in the room. Before I knew it, I was already running.
Please don’t let it be, please let something be wrong.
I begged and begged, but the man was there. He was sitting alone on the dirty floor, resting his chin on his hand, and greeted me happily.
“You’re here now.”
He was staring at me with clear hatred in his faint smile.
‘And that jar…….’
A crude but dangerous vessel.
Ki Jae-eon grasped the whole situation at once.
“Please, Ki Jae-eon.”
At Shin Yoon’s request, his knees easily bent.
While lowering his posture with his forehead on the dirt floor, he thought.
Who is that man’s resentment directed at?
The answer came quickly.
‘It’s the same as me.’
He can’t forgive himself.
So, he needs a place to vent his anger.
‘I…….’
I thought of the people I couldn’t save and collapsed and collapsed, eventually choosing to kill myself. Because I felt that there was no place to be saved, I did that with the accumulated regret and venting. That was the life of the first round.
Maybe Shin Yoon is the same.
He thinks there’s nowhere else to go.
‘That’s why he’s struggling so desperately like this.’
He’s a really pitiful person.
‘Can’t I save this person?’
Ki Jae-eon sincerely hoped that Shin Yoon would no longer walk the path of corruption. Because I know that walking the path of destruction only leaves emptiness.
And above all…….
‘You can still start anew.’
People can change. Just like I did.
Yes, with the warm attention and help of those around me.
“I…….”
I won’t make a second Ki Jae-eon.
One foolish choice is enough for me.
‘I won’t let you ruin the way back.’
Ki Jae-eon looked into the black, dead eyes without shaking.
“I will protect you and everyone else.”
He goes straight ahead in the face of any injustice.
One who purifies negativity and guides the dead.
That is the duty of an Exorcist.