By Zephyria He was truly cowardly.
Even after hearing the reason for imprinting from the doctor himself, Ryle had tried to define it with the vague word “emotion.” At times, he even avoided it, saying it couldn’t be. But now, he couldn’t deny it.
Perhaps he wanted to blame it all on pheromones until the end. That the reason every cell in his body was focused on even the blink of the guy’s eyes was solely because of that.
The doctor’s words were the answer. Imprinting was ultimately the result of combined emotions. It also required a heart that deeply loved the other person.
He saw Hae-jin’s brightly smiling face for the first time. Only after looking at it did Ryle realize that he would have fallen for the guy even without imprinting. Here was the reason he had searched for that smile, which he hadn’t even seen properly each time, in his dreams like a mirage.
There were probably several reasons why he had an early imprinting. The biggest reason was probably because his past self was so ignorant and arrogant. If it had stayed that way, he would have lost Hae-jin forever.
Having the guy by his side, he only repeated foolish things.
His instincts had already realized it, but only his uselessly rigid reason didn’t know. So, there was no choice. His body moved first so that he could be by the guy’s side, even if by force.
He didn’t know if all imprinting happened in this strange order. But Ryle could instinctively understand that this imprinting was the result of his own choice to catch Hae-jin.
It couldn’t be anything but a cruel fate.
Clearly, Ryle had grown up thinking that he didn’t need traits. He was born with everything, so he lived believing that there was nothing he couldn’t achieve with his own two hands.
But especially when it came to things related to Hae-jin, he often made excuses with pheromones. He ignored his Alpha self in other areas, but when his body turned to Hae-jin, he attributed it all to being an Alpha. Ryle finally realized this huge contradiction within him.
So, he was cowardly.
Now Ryle could understand why his mother had so desperately wanted to imprint on his father. He had thought since he was young that imprinting was the most cruel evidence that could be expressed with pheromones. But his thoughts didn’t go beyond that.
Only after imprinting does the meaning become clear. This was the most certain proof that he could show that he loved the other person.
Ryle, who had been sitting in the study of the mansion until late at night, reflecting on this shock, clutched his chest because of the pain that started again. But this pain was particularly long and persistent. Eventually, a sensation as if something was tearing from his solar plexus welled up.
Instinctively blocking his mouth, Ryle discovered red blood on his palm.
“……”
It had already been well over a month since he had properly done a pheromone release. Ryle had endured this period even when Hae-jin was away from this mansion for a while. But to cough up blood, something was definitely different than before.
Perhaps it was the price for acting foolishly even after imprinting.
Unlike someone who had just coughed up blood, Ryle wiped away the traces with a handkerchief with a blank face. Of course, it hurt. It hurt so much that he barely managed to straighten his back and sit up. But the thought that he had to hide this from Hae-jin was still there.
He couldn’t become another shackle on Hae-jin’s already unstable legs.
The first snow of the year fell.
Having only seen rain pouring down every time, it was strange to see the outside covered in white. This city had short winters, so snow was very precious. Thanks to that, Hae-jin didn’t get tired of just looking out the window all day.
“Which one do you like better, Mr. Bright?”
“Both are fine.”
Mark held two Christmas ornaments in his hand and asked for his opinion. He said he was going to decorate the tree in the drawing room. In one hand was a large star, and in the other was a strangely yellow duck.
Hae-jin tried to keep his distance as politely as possible, but it wasn’t easy. The more he hardened his face, the more the servants tried to approach him, rather than move away. Thanks to that, a sense of guilt kept building up in one corner of his heart. All he could do was reassure himself that everything would be resolved as soon as he left this mansion.
It was almost Christmas. He knew because he was counting the days every day, but he couldn’t help but feel it as the atmosphere of the mansion became festive.
“Hmm. Following tradition, it would be a star, but I like this cute duck better.”
“……It’s cute.”
The small duck, which was only used for children’s baths, really didn’t seem to fit on a Christmas tree at all. But it was true that it was cute, so Hae-jin inadvertently revealed his impression. In fact, he really liked Christmas.
When he was in the orphanage, it was a day he hated. It was the day when things and people were most abundant in the year, but it was also a day that was just as futile. People who visited the orphanage would soon return to their own families.
Amidst the mountains of empty gifts, Hae-jin asked Santa for his parents as a gift every year. Because it never came true, he was the first child in the orphanage to realize that Santa didn’t exist.
It was his mother who changed that thought. Every year, it was Hae-jin’s job to put the big star on top of the tree. Hyung generously gave that role to his only younger brother.
Was it because he had wished to Santa for so long that he had such angelic family?
“……”
Even though he was in such a warm room, he strangely felt like he was back in the orphanage from time to time.
“Hae-jin.”
But this gloom quickly ran away. As if he couldn’t stand the awkward atmosphere.
Hae-jin faced Ryle, who was approaching with large strides, with a slightly troubled face. He wanted to be expressionless, but it wasn’t easy. Because Ryle had become even stranger recently.
They ate breakfast together every morning. When Hae-jin took a walk late in the afternoon, Ryle, who had returned early, walked with him. Then, in the evening, they sat in this drawing room for about an hour and chatted. Each time, Hae-jin had to reveal his emotions a little for the pheromone shower. In many ways, the distance between them was bound to get closer, like his pace.
Ryle walked so slowly when they walked together.
“You were choosing ornaments.”
“Which one do you like, Master?”
“Hmm. I’m a traditionalist, but the duck isn’t bad either.”
“Then let’s hang both this time.”
He definitely remembered that Ryle was away from the mansion more often during this time, but it was strange. There were even times when he would squeeze in time from his busy schedule at the end of the year, do a pheromone release, and then quickly go back out.
But as if he had never spent such a year-end, he came back early today as well. Hae-jin looked at Ryle’s face, who was seriously looking down at the yellow duck smaller than his palm, with a perplexed expression. Wasn’t there another terribly mismatched combination here?
“What’s wrong, Hae-jin.”
Since when did those blue eyes have such a warm temperature?
“……Nothing.”
Hae-jin slightly avoided his gaze, scratching the back of his neck. Thanks to Mark, who had trimmed it the day before yesterday, the prickly hair touched the back of his hand. He had been putting it off, but when Mark suggested it first, he couldn’t resist and asked him.
His resolution, which was retreating little by little every day, was quite pathetic. But the desire to settle in this warmth sometimes dominated him so suddenly that it was troublesome.
“……I want to give you a gift, is there anything you need?”
Ryle, who had been silent along with him, made an unexpected suggestion. Hae-jin was surprised and met his eyes because he had never asked him anything like this directly before.
Again, two eyes full of unknown warmth were looking straight at Hae-jin.
“It’s okay.”
“It’s Christmas. Even if it’s a small thing, let me give you a gift.”
It was strange and familiar that Ryle was so humble even when giving just one gift. Heat kept rushing to his ears in embarrassment. Hae-jin regretted cutting his hair early for no reason.
“Then give me a scarf.”
The reason he specifically said scarf was, of course, an impulsive decision. The warm scarf that Ryle had once wrapped around him suddenly flashed through his mind.
“Okay. I’ll find one that suits you well, Hae-jin.”
“……”
He bit the inside of his cheek so it wouldn’t show. Because he thought he would nod like a fool if he didn’t.
Ryle’s voice calling Hae-jin felt strangely tangled in his ear.
“There’s not much content.”
“Yes. It’s almost the same as the initial investigation results. More resources need to be invested for more data.”
Reading the file containing Hae-jin’s personal details, Ryle was lost in thought. The guy’s tragedy was summarized in just a few lines in this document.
A collision caused by a drunk truck driver. One of the four passengers died at the scene, two were in critical condition. Hae-jin, the only one who remained conscious, suffered a major injury when his leg was caught between the car doors.
Ryle read those few lines over and over again, which he had previously passed over quickly. At first glance, it was an accident with clear responsibility. Ryle carefully read the date the accident occurred and suddenly found a suspicious part.
Wasn’t it too early for Hae-jin to come to his mansion while being financially strapped?
Clearly, proper accident compensation should have been paid. Especially since Hae-jin had even sold the house where his family lived to pay for hospital bills. No matter how enormous the hospital bills were, he would have had some funds on hand to endure.
Looking closely at the suspicious parts, he saw another unsettling fact. The timing of selling the house was also a little earlier than Ryle had expected. It was as if he needed a large sum of money so quickly. One way or another, he thought that the period until his financial situation was so dire that he took Ryle’s hand was a little short.
Was it really that he didn’t receive any accident compensation as he expected?
“I need the investigation record of the accident Hae-jin suffered. Everything related to the trial at the time.”
“I’ll get it. It’s a legal record, so it will take some time.”
The investigation record of a criminal case was not something that others could freely access. There was also a way to ask Hae-jin directly, but what Ryle really wanted to know was information that was not superficially revealed. For example, if the case was roughly settled, who had put in a word.
Even though he was given an impossible task, the Secretary nodded calmly. Then, he spread out the things he was holding in his arms one by one in front of Ryle.
“And here is the catalog you mentioned.”
The catalog contained pictures of numerous scarves. They were custom-made by all kinds of luxury brands for him.
He didn’t expect it, but fortunately, Hae-jin told him what he needed for the first time. He had been instructing the personal shopper to fill the mansion’s clothes on his own every time, but he didn’t do that this time. He wanted to choose the scarf that would take Hae-jin’s neck with his own eyes.
However, Ryle fell into serious contemplation, looking down at the catalogs that didn’t have prices written on them. It was a big problem because anything would look good on the guy’s black hair.
* * *
Christmas Day was approaching. From the morning, a subtle carol was flowing through the mansion. Thanks to that, the mansion, which originally only had quiet silence, even felt like it was shaking as a whole.
Hae-jin woke up with a bewildered face at the sudden carol sound. Perhaps because of the cold that had deepened as befitting winter, he strangely didn’t want to get out of bed today. The heating would always have been set to the optimum temperature, but the air touching his body felt chilly today.
He was sitting on the bed with a dazed face because he had no motivation when the bell rang. Mark, who had heard his answer and came in, approached with his unique benevolent smile.
“Merry Christmas, Mr. Bright.”
“……Merry Christmas.”
Perhaps because he had just woken up, he strangely felt like his throat was hoarse.
“I have prepared a Christmas dinner. Would you like to wash up and come out?”
“Yes.”
Hae-jin spent a long time choosing what to say to him, who was wearing a ridiculous reindeer headband on his head. It was even more burdensome because Mark, who felt his gaze reaching above his head, was looking at him with expectant eyes.
“……Nice headband.”
“Would you like one?”
“It’s okay.”
Hae-jin was sweating, hoping that his answer wouldn’t sound rude. But Mark seemed to have teased him on purpose and burst into laughter. As he could neither do this nor that and only frowned in embarrassment, Mark left the room, saying he would wait outside.
Looking at his cheerful back, he was reminded of his father, who was always playful. But today, he felt like he couldn’t handle thinking about his family, so Hae-jin deliberately pushed the thoughts away. He honestly didn’t want to go to the dinner either, but it was a big problem because he couldn’t think of a word to refuse.
Barely dawdling, he put on his clothes and returned to the drawing room, where Ryle was waiting. Even though he had taken several times longer than usual, he didn’t leave him and go to eat as if it were natural.
“Merry Christmas, Hae-jin.”
“……Merry Christmas.”
He thought it had gotten better while he was washing, but his throat was a little choked again. Avoiding his gaze for no reason, Hae-jin had to anxiously look around the drawing room in embarrassment.
The drawing room was more splendid than yesterday. The tree, which he had stubbornly refused to decorate together, was completed and stood majestically in one corner. The decorations that wrapped around the room around the tree were sparkling in a regular rhythm. Under the tree, there were piles of gift bundles that looked like decorations with the wrapping paper evenly matched.
And Ryle, who was standing in the middle of it, was holding a gift bundle in his hand. It was the only one wrapped in different wrapping paper. Only then did Hae-jin remember that he had said he needed a scarf.
Why did I do that.
“It’s a gift.”
When he couldn’t move because he was nailed down, Ryle approached instead. Swallowing dry saliva for no reason, Hae-jin looked at the gift presented in front of him. Along with the gift, Ryle’s warm pheromones rushed in.
“……”
Hae-jin, who couldn’t readily accept it, had to remain silent for a long time. Knowing that he would look rude acting like this, his body strangely stiffened. He had a strange feeling that something would be twisted the moment he received this.
However, Ryle waited for him as quietly as a winter night.
His gently flowing pheromones made him feel as if a forest had entered the drawing room. Hae-jin, who was unknowingly drinking in the refreshing scent, was barely able to reach out his hand. The softly wrapped gift touched his palm.
It was difficult to reach out his hand once, but once he had it in his grasp, the next was easy. It was Hae-jin’s long-standing habit to unwrap the gift on the spot.
In fact, he didn’t intend to do this much just by accepting it, but seeing the big ribbon, his hands moved on their own. Every year on Christmas morning, unwrapping gifts before eating was one of Hae-jin’s joys.
Now, a blue scarf resembling Ryle’s eyes appeared in his palm.
“……I didn’t prepare a gift.”
It was a strange feeling. He felt gloomy and also missed it. It was a strange feeling that made him want to cry sadly but also laugh like a fool, so Hae-jin could only freeze.
“It’s okay.”
The word “it’s okay” was strangely comforting.
He didn’t want to be conscious of it. Today was the first Christmas that Hae-jin was properly celebrating since the accident.
“……If you don’t like the color, tell Mark later. You can exchange it.””
“……”
Ryle had to fall into contemplation for more than three days just to choose one scarf color. In fact, he had already found the scarf that suited the guy’s neck in the numerous catalogs. However, he was worried whether he could hand it over.
Hae-jin’s favorite color seemed to be blue, considering the clothes he often chose. If there were several of the same clothes, he would always pick up the blue one.
Thinking about that, this scarf kept catching his eye when he looked at the catalog.
It was a color that looked too cold to wear in winter. Besides, he was afraid of what Hae-jin would think if he knew that Ryle was aware of Hae-jin’s preferences. Above all, he also felt self-conscious that he might hate it because it was the same color as his eyes.
But he brought this scarf anyway. It was an excuse that he wanted to give Hae-jin something that suited his taste since it was the first gift he was allowed to give. The deeper inside was actually the desire to have that wrapped around the guy’s neck.
Of course, he had all the colors in case Hae-jin didn’t want to keep this one nearby.
“……No. I like it.”
After a long while, Hae-jin said in a somewhat subdued voice. His pheromones carried a subtle, hard-to-read nuance, making it impossible to tell if he truly liked it. Especially since he had lowered his head deeply from the moment he received the scarf, all Ryle could see was the crown of his head.
Ryle had to head to the dining room without properly discerning Hae-jin’s expression. He vowed not to care even if that scarf ended up in the trash.
“The target has filed for bankruptcy. Also, he’s been frequenting pubs lately.”
Ryle listlessly tossed the photo of the former Butler, who looked like a textbook example of a drunkard, into the trash. The work of bringing about their ruin was progressing smoothly. Both for them and for Ryle himself.
Ryle habitually swept his hand over his heart once before gesturing to the Secretary again.
“If the trial proceeds in earnest, it seems a prison sentence will be handed down without difficulty.”
“I suppose so.”
It was a fight they couldn’t win from the start. What he wanted wasn’t the outcome of the trial, but their specific suffering. The former Butler, who had been divorced and forced to pay a considerable amount in alimony, had long lost his former plump physique. Yet, Ryle still felt unsatisfied.
He wanted to inform Hae-jin of the progress of this matter, but it was hard to find the right timing. He was bothered by the dry voice that had stated from the beginning that he didn’t want to be involved in anything. He was also worried that it might trigger his trauma again. Still, he had to proceed with the work in advance so that there would be no mistakes when he could tell him someday.
At that moment, the Secretary, who was organizing the documents again, hesitated before speaking.
“And, the accident report and trial records of Mr. Bright are still pending…”
“Is there a problem?”
It was a matter that required using connections in the judiciary. Perhaps there were aspects that were beyond the Secretary’s reach. Ryle urged for an answer, considering useful connections in his head.
“It’s not that, but while investigating, I obtained records other than the trial records.”
“What is it?”
With a somewhat uneasy expression, the Secretary handed Ryle several copies of what appeared to be a contract.
“What’s this…?”
The thin papers in his hand were crudely made sales documents. As he slowly read the wavering handwriting, Hae-jin’s name appeared. Comparing the address written there with the data he was originally looking at, the answer came. It was the house owned by the Bright Family, which Hae-jin had been using as his ID address until now.
“It’s a sales contract for the Bright Family’s house.”
“I see. Why this?”
“It doesn’t seem like a typical sales contract, so I brought it. If you look closely, it’s a contract that comprehensively disposes of the rights to the house, including the items inside.”
Even just hearing the general explanation, he could tell something was strange. Ryle frowned slightly and asked unpleasantly.
“…Is it a scam?”
“It’s not that. Upon closer inspection, it was a company that usually disposes of entire buildings with no relatives on behalf of the bank.”
In other words, it was a company that took care of everything, including the items inside, when selling a house. It wasn’t a scam, and according to the price list that the Secretary had provided, it seemed that they even assessed the value of the items and added it to the sale price.
It was possible that Hae-jin had deliberately chosen this method because he had no way to dispose of the items inside when selling the house. Or, he might have been tricked by the promise of a little more money without knowing it was such a contract company.
Either way, one thing became clear. The reason why he only had one trunk of luggage left was here.
“Something else is bothering you, isn’t it?”
He wanted to investigate this a little more, but it was hard to figure out in which direction to give instructions. Should he investigate under the assumption that Hae-jin was scammed?
“Yes. First of all, the company in question went bankrupt a while ago.”
“…Really?”
If so, it was as good as the guys who should be punished disappearing. Again, due to the unpleasant sensation, Ryle slowly swept his hair back. Was there really nothing more he could do?
“That is…, I wasn’t sure whether to report it because it’s not certain.”
“Speak.”
“The logistics warehouse that the bankrupt company used to use is still abandoned in a state of seizure.”
At the unexpected matter, Ryle narrowed his eyes. Hae-jin had sold the house more than five years ago. Frankly speaking, there was no guarantee that the items that were sorted out at that time would still be there.
“Are there any items from the Bright Family left there?”
“I haven’t been able to ascertain that. To access the list inside the warehouse, we need to sell it first, so I’m reporting it. What should we do?”
The Secretary also seemed to know that it was a slim chance. Perhaps if it were another matter, he would have just dismissed it and not even reported it.
However, the Secretary had seen that Ryle was extremely concerned about Hae-jin’s affairs. The highest priority among his recent tasks was all related to Hae-jin. So, just in case, he reported it.
Hearing that, Ryle gave instructions without hesitation.
“Buy it right away. And look for the things Hae-jin lost.”
There was no reason not to chase even a faint hope. It would require a budget to purchase a building, but if there was even a slight possibility, it wouldn’t be a waste at all.
It felt like Christmas dinner hadn’t even been digested yet, but the new year had already dawned. Hae-jin stared blankly at the calendar, feeling dazed by the deepening winter atmosphere.
Now, there were only about two weeks left until the contract ended.
Neither he nor Ryle had ever discussed the end of the contract. Hae-jin had mentioned the end several times, but Ryle’s reaction had been quite fierce. Besides, it was closer to a notification than a proper discussion.
Thinking about his fierce attitude until just recently, he felt strangely moved. If Hae-jin were to mention the end of the contract now, how would he react this time?
Strangely, he didn’t think he would get angry, which was just bizarre.
Suddenly, his chest felt ticklish, as if a hair was stuck there. He reflexively looked down, but there was nothing there. Hae-jin rubbed the spot hard once before turning his gaze back to the phone he was holding. He was looking for things he would need after leaving this place.
He had carefully put away the tablet that Ryle had given him, intending not to use it anymore. He had found himself using it more often than his phone at some point.
Wasn’t it time to start organizing his surroundings little by little? On the day he went to the lake with Ryle, he had packed the few remaining belongings well and placed them to one side to steel his resolve.
As he searched for accommodations near his destination again, Hae-jin pondered whether it would be better to discuss this matter with Ryle. He also had to settle the compensation issue. In fact, he had no intention of receiving the compensation, so he was planning to make excuses and postpone the date further.
“…”
However, Hae-jin soon postponed this consideration until after he left the mansion. He would also postpone discussing it rashly.
Still, just in case, it couldn’t hurt to be careful.
“I should ask him to book a car.”
He would have to ask Mark to arrange the transportation he needed on the day he left. It would be nice if he could do it alone, but since the private property extended far beyond the mansion anyway, it couldn’t be helped.
Since it was the last time, there was no need to borrow the mansion’s car.
“…What?”
At the sudden message, Ryle reflexively looked at the calendar. Even though he already knew, he couldn’t help but check it again with his own eyes.
“From what you’re saying, it doesn’t seem like a temporary outing, so wasn’t Mr. Bright going to stay here continuously?”
Mark had thought that Hae-jin’s residence would continue to be here. Of course, he also knew about the contract. However, looking at Ryle’s actions so far, he didn’t seem like someone preparing for the end at all. So, he had been thinking that there might have been some progress between the two.
“…For now, for now, later…”
“Yes, Young Master.”
Even though Mark was looking at him with concern, Ryle couldn’t help but slump into the chair in the study.
He had been told that Hae-jin had asked for a car to leave on the day the contract ended. He also said that he wouldn’t use the mansion’s car.
He thought they were getting closer little by little. He didn’t think that Hae-jin would forgive him with just this, but he still believed that there would definitely be a gap to squeeze into his heart.
But Hae-jin was slowly preparing for the end of the contract. Alone, as if he wasn’t even worth discussing it with.
In fact, the biggest problem was that he couldn’t blame Hae-jin’s reaction considering what Ryle had done so far. His hand, sweeping over his face, was trembling. Ryle was lost in thought with a pale face until Mark, unable to bear watching him, excused himself.
There was no way he could let him go like this. Even setting aside the imprinting, he couldn’t bear to see him move away at this moment when he had realized his feelings.
It would have been fine if Hae-jin was simply leaving this mansion. However, seeing him subtly distancing himself from even the staff lately, he could clearly tell. He was looking forward to the end of the contract on the premise of a permanent farewell.
But he no longer had a justification to hold Hae-jin back. He could never do something like forcibly holding him back again, making him wear that resentful face.
Now, what should he do?
In this desperate moment, Ryle suddenly bent over violently. Blood that he hadn’t been able to stop poured out onto the comfortable shirt he had changed into before going to bed.
Even though he vomited blood as if he was retching, his stuffy heart didn’t feel relieved.
“The Young Master said that he has an urgent matter and regrets that he cannot join you for breakfast.”
“…Is that so.”
Mark’s face, as he delivered the message, looked quite serious. Hae-jin, who had become accustomed to his usually gentle expression, almost flinched without realizing it. If it hadn’t been for the warm gaze that looked at him with concern, he might have thought he was angry.
Mark knew that Hae-jin was very stiff, but he couldn’t manage his expression right now. He, who had excused himself for Ryle who was seriously agitated yesterday, realized that he had forgotten a report and hesitated before returning to his bedroom.
When he saw Ryle vomiting blood there, he thought his already old heart was falling out. In a panic, he tried to call an ambulance, but Ryle grabbed him tightly and wouldn’t let go. Then, he only called the Secretary and secretly went to the hospital.
At the same time, he told him never to tell Hae-jin. With that one word, Mark realized that his physical condition was related to Hae-jin.
Of course, even if he knew that, he couldn’t force anything on Hae-jin. He had grown fond of him during the short time he had served him closely.
Hae-jin never expressed any complaints. He was a kind young man who tried not to be rude even while showing that he was uncomfortable with everyone in the mansion and wanted to keep his distance.
So, he had no choice but to just feel sorry.
“…He really, really regretted not being able to join you.”
Hae-jin slowly nodded at Mark, who was emphasizing it again. The area near his chest, which had been feeling ticklish for a while, was stimulating him even more sharply today.
Come to think of it, he had been having breakfast with Ryle every day for almost two months now. When he recalled this fact, he suddenly felt strange.
Something felt off, what was it?
In fact, it was more surprising that Ryle had been with him every day. So, it was inevitable that he had an urgent matter. After all, he would be back in the afternoon or have dinner together.
Thinking this far, Hae-jin rubbed his neck, feeling like he was overly sensitive to Ryle’s absence. He would have to face him even if he didn’t want to as long as he was in this mansion, so he couldn’t help but react sensitively.
“Yes.”
As he forced out an answer with a stiff face, Mark carefully retreated. His actions, which were more cautious than usual, were strange, but Hae-jin didn’t think deeply about it as a habit.
However, Ryle didn’t appear until late that night.
He only left a message that he couldn’t even come to the pheromone shower in the drawing room. Mark and the staff continued to look serious. Hae-jin, who had become unnecessarily intimidated, didn’t know what this strange atmosphere flowing through the mansion was, so he left a little of his dinner.
Only after tossing and turning late into the night did Hae-jin realize that the strange feeling he had felt earlier was a sense of unease.
* * *
The two finally faced each other at the breakfast table. He had thought he would be eating alone again today, but Ryle appeared late.
Since Hae-jin had felt that strange unease, Ryle had seemed incredibly busy for several days. In fact, it was a natural thing to think about his usual appearance.
However, the strange unease continued to cling to the back of Hae-jin’s neck and wouldn’t let go.
The chaotic construction of the mansion had been roughly completed around Christmas. Originally, he was going to return to the guest room he had been using temporarily, but the timing was somewhat ambiguous. He had clearly seen that moving the room involved many people.
It felt like too much trouble to move the room just to use it for a few weeks, so he felt uncomfortable. So, Hae-jin missed the timing to say he would go back.
It was even more so because he noticed the staff walking around with serious faces from time to time. They still showed him a kind face, but he had no choice but to grow up as a child who was good at reading the atmosphere of adults since he was young.
So, he had been using the place closest to Ryle’s bedroom until now, but they hadn’t encountered each other as much as he would have liked. That was why the unease clinging to Hae-jin was so persistent. Was he so busy that he couldn’t even feel his presence for several days?
It would have been understandable if he hadn’t been able to come in at all. However, the faint pheromones of Ryle that remained every time he left the bedroom told him that he had clearly passed through this place.
In fact, it was ambiguous to say that they had naturally encountered each other often. There were far more moments when he was waiting for Hae-jin than when they happened to pass by each other.
Ryle’s complexion, whom he had met after a long time, was very bad. He seemed to be in urgent need of pheromone release, but even at that time, he didn’t return to the mansion.
Just like before, if Ryle didn’t need him, there would be no chance to meet.
Ah, that’s what it was. Hae-jin stopped cutting the bread into small pieces, having realized the identity of the persistent unease.
“…”
Ryle, who had been trying not to look at Hae-jin, also made an unnatural movement to the point that he inadvertently raised his head. He soon moved again as if nothing had happened, but his expression seemed even stiffer than before.
As he soothed his churning stomach, Ryle forced the soup into his mouth. He knew that his complexion was now beyond concealment. After vomiting a lot of blood a while ago, his body wasn’t listening to him properly.
The company had entered an emergency system. They were avoiding visits from outsiders as much as possible and were frantically processing the overdue documents. At the same time, he kept thinking about Hae-jin in one corner of his mind. A way to catch him.
He wanted to appear after finding the answer, but the amount of Hae-jin’s meals that he was receiving reports on was starting to decrease again. He didn’t know if it was because of the meals he was eating alone or if something else was bothering him. But he couldn’t bear to see him wither away again like before. So, Ryle came to see Hae-jin while holding onto his twisting stomach.
In fact, this was all an excuse, and he might have just wanted to see him.
He inadvertently observed the eyelashes of the guy hanging down along his slightly lowered head. The hands holding the soup carefully seemed to be getting smaller every time he saw them. He also secretly took in the sight of his white neck, which was fully exposed because it was indoors.
Even though they were sitting so close, they were so far apart.
“Hae-jin.”
“Yes.”
Like the blood that was surging up, Ryle called out his name as if he was having a seizure. Only after calling him did he realize that he wanted to ask a question that he couldn’t handle, and he awkwardly covered his mouth.
Why did he pack his luggage so early, did he think he would get angry again if he said he was leaving?
Couldn’t he not go?
But he was afraid that Hae-jin would say that he wanted to leave right away if he said these things. In the end, after much deliberation, Ryle decided to stop talking.
Besides, the moment he recalled Hae-jin leaving this mansion, his stomach churned again and he couldn’t bear it. He couldn’t show him an unsightly appearance in front of him. He would notice that something was wrong.
“No, it’s nothing. Sorry, I’ll excuse myself first.”
Ryle finished those words and shot up, heading out of the dining room. Hae-jin, who had been waiting for more, could only stare blankly at his rapidly disappearing back.
The star soup in front of Ryle was almost untouched.
What on earth is it?
Ryle’s strange behavior from this morning lingered in Hae-jin’s mind. It was partly because he had realized the source of his vague unease.
Why does the fact that he and Ryle would never meet if Hae-jin wasn’t needed stick in his mind so much? It was the same as saying he wouldn’t seek out Ryle.
The chest in his heart, bound tightly with chains, clamored again. Watching it thrash so violently that his body shook, Hae-jin tried to scatter the emotions that flowed out blankly. However, his gestures in the air were as futile as his foolish appearance.
There’s not much time left anyway.
With that magical phrase, his trembling heart finally calmed down. Thanks to that, he could pick up his old cell phone and repeat meaningless searches blankly.
Should he book a room? Should he go and see the situation?
He also wanted to check the weather, but the screen of his old phone froze and wouldn’t move. He had plenty of time to wait, but today it was hard to bear.
Naturally, he thought of the tablet he had carefully left in one corner of the dressing room. He could use it for a moment and put it back.
He moved slowly. He went out to the reception room and thankfully didn’t run into anyone. Recently, he had been uncomfortable with the habitual smiles of the people he kept seeing.
He entered the dressing room and fiddled with the tablet for a while when he heard voices from down the hallway. Only then did he notice that the small door leading from the dressing room to the hallway was slightly open. It seemed the staff had forgotten to close it after passing through.
“The Young Master is very worried. After all, the contract date with Mr. Bright is approaching…”
At Mark’s voice, Hae-jin reflexively held his breath.
“That’s right. Should we prepare the guest room?”
“Yes. Let’s get that done first. We need to make sure the new arrival is comfortable.”
“Yes, Mark.”
Fortunately, they only said a few words and passed by the room. Only after hearing the sound of a door opening a little further away did Hae-jin exhale. He almost got into trouble for looking like he was eavesdropping.
It would be better to return to the bedroom than to stand here like this. Hae-jin, who had put the tablet he was holding back down, moved slowly. Instead of the information he had just found on the tablet, something else occupied his mind and wouldn’t leave.
The words “new arrival” and “guest room” that Mark had said kept circling in his head. In fact, focusing on those two words naturally brought something to mind.
Did he find a new Omega?
It was a welcome thing. Ryle had kept his promise to him. He would be able to leave the mansion safely after the contract ended. Hae-jin tapped his stuffy chest as a habit and barely managed to lie down on the bed.
Anyway, it was fortunate if he had found a new contractor. But why was Ryle worried about the contract date approaching?
He shouldn’t make such speculations based on just a few passing words. Knowing that well, Hae-jin couldn’t stop the fragments of thought that ran wild. Then, the moment his speculation reached the reason why Ryle was worried, he unknowingly sat up.
Could it be that he was worried that Hae-jin wouldn’t leave even though the contract period was approaching? Like this splendid room that he had missed the timing to say he would return to the guest room.
It was just speculation patched together. Nevertheless, Hae-jin could only sit blankly in the vast bedroom.
It was a really, really strange feeling.
“The compensation I received is only this much?”
“Yes. That’s right.”
“…I see.”
At first glance, it seemed like a considerable amount, but it was far from enough to support parents in a coma. Ryle, watching Hae-jin’s tragedy counted in numbers, gritted his teeth so hard they made a sound.
“It’s compensation at a level that the perpetrator’s insurance company settled appropriately. To properly claim your rights, you would have had to file a lawsuit, but at the time, Mr. Bright was also hospitalized, so it wouldn’t have been possible.”
The whole family was either dead or in the hospital. Hae-jin didn’t have any relatives who could handle such matters for him. Moreover, he was barely an adult at the time. He had no choice but to nod at the money the insurance company offered.
Even though he wasn’t there, he felt like he could see it clearly. With the feeling of blood running backward, Ryle leaned back deeply in his chair.
“…What is the perpetrator doing now?”
Unlike his worries, the perpetrator received proper legal punishment. He didn’t have any connections to cover up the incident, and there was nothing particularly wrong with the trial process.
The trial was concluded with the perpetrator punished just as much as the law stipulated. In a way, the process was even neatly organized in the documents.
So it’s even more futile. The remaining victim is still suffering, but there is no one to resent.
“He is still serving his sentence. We are also looking into the situation inside the prison.”
“…”
For this investigation, Ryle directly mobilized connections in the legal field. It wasn’t like he had created these connections just for this, but he didn’t hesitate to use them.
As if he thought he could find an answer by learning about Hae-jin, Ryle desperately used every means he could. However, the more he thought about it, the more the answer remained invisible and dark.
That’s why he couldn’t bring himself to ask Hae-jin to stay at the mansion.
“Isn’t it strange after all?”
Inside a room as antique as Vermouth’s main mansion, people who were all blonde were sitting around. However, no one had as clear blonde hair as Ryle. These were the collateral relatives bearing the Vermouth name.
Daniel Vermouth, who occupied the seat of honor, poured wine with a seemingly elegant gesture. This room was the closest imitation he could make of the main mansion he had longed for. Still, he always yearned to get the real thing.
“Huh, did he really contact that side for the sake of a mere inferior gene?”
“And why did he suddenly change the party he sponsors?”
“That has nothing to do with this matter, does it?”
Daniel, who had always been watching Ryle’s vicinity, had recently discovered many strange things. For example, the information that Ryle had recently pulled out the trial records of an accident involving an Omega. He couldn’t directly access Ryle’s connections, but he had many eyes and ears for such matters.
Anyway, that was information beyond superficial personal information. It was unlike Ryle, who hated Omegas and was indifferent even to those he brought into the mansion.
“After all, the fact that he replaced all the staff in the mansion, is it really…”
The people in this room had been paying attention to the only Omega in the Vermouth main mansion for a long time. It was because Ryle, who had neglected the mansion whether or not people were planted inside, had suddenly strengthened security.
“Recently, he suddenly appeared at the lake, and someone was next to him.”
The topic naturally shifted to the Omega who was with Ryle. Every time an Omega contracted to that mansion, they tried to extract information. So everyone already knew that the one there was Hae-jin, an inferior gene Omega.
Until now, they hadn’t thought much of it.
“Hmm, has the head’s Omega phobia gotten a little better?”
However, if Ryle’s phobia had changed, the story was different. Ryle had always shown contempt even if they just pushed an Omega near him. It had become difficult to plant new people in that mansion, but if they could put their people right next to him.
And if he suddenly had an heir.
“Is that important?”
Then, someone who hadn’t participated in the family council for long asked innocently. Looking at his particularly dull blonde hair, Daniel smiled kindly.
The sweet moments of the past began to dominate his mind.
“Of course. If Ryle were to have a young heir and… leave early like our late father.”
The moment those words fell, a heavy silence enveloped the room. Everyone rolled their eyes busily, looking at each other. It was a somewhat dangerous statement, but no one pointed it out.
Because Ryle, whom they thought they could control at will when he was young, had grown up too much.
“Still, an inferior gene wouldn’t do.”
“After all, we need to attach a new Omega.”
“I know a good Omega from a good family…”
Having finished their calculations, they spat out words pretending to be elegant. Even in the midst of this, they didn’t forget to keep each other in check.
“Then how should we get rid of that one?”
At that moment, everyone’s attention was focused on the words someone uttered quietly. Because it had become difficult to plant people in the mansion, they didn’t know the exact relationship between Ryle and Hae-jin. They could only guess that Ryle was unexpectedly cherishing an Omega there.
“I will try to make a move.”
Daniel, who had been listening quietly, tilted his glass and spoke. Everyone looked displeased with the situation where he seemed to be taking the lead. However, they were also worried that directly stepping forward would directly offend Ryle.
Watching them only look at each other and protect themselves, Daniel couldn’t hide his sneer. Unlike them, Daniel had been constantly trying to plant people near Ryle. And recently, he had obtained unexpected information from a gap he had barely created. The fact that the contract with that Omega was not much left.
So after first observing Ryle’s movements, he would go directly and tell the Omega to understand his place. Since he had information one step ahead of others, it wasn’t a difficult task.
“Mark has informed me that the preparation of the guest room is complete. Medical equipment has also been secretly procured and brought in.”
“Okay.”
The vomiting of blood had subsided a bit, but his physical condition was heavy. The symptom of his head feeling blocked continued. So Ryle, as a last resort, tried to bring his personal doctor into the mansion. The new guest Mark was preparing to welcome was actually referring to this doctor.
He was thinking of forcibly administering a drug to relieve the pheromones as a temporary measure. Going in and out of the hospital often would attract too much attention.
“Are you really thinking of emptying the entire building with the penthouse?”
“Yes.”
And Ryle finally couldn’t find a way to keep Hae-jin in the mansion. Instead, the alternative he chose was the penthouse to give to him.
He intended to ask him to stay there at least, and then somehow make excuses to go see Hae-jin. If he struggled to occupy his side steadily like that, he would eventually look back at him, thinking hopefully.
However, he was worried that if Ryle acted like that outside, it would somehow show. He carefully built up the surroundings so that Hae-jin could live as normal a life as possible.
In particular, he intended to evict the residents in the building where he would live. His intention was to empty it all out first and then have the personnel guarding Hae-jin live on the lower floors.
“…I will try to take action as quickly as possible.”
“Please.”
Of course, it wasn’t an easy task. Especially since that building in the city was in a good location and had a lot of demand.
“Anna will be coming up soon.”
“…Get out now.”
In the midst of this, Anna Vermouth, his uncle’s wife, had been persistently contacting him to meet him. He didn’t know why Anna, who knew his Omega phobia and didn’t even come near him, was doing this.
Especially since he had been extremely reluctant to have outside guests recently, rumors of health problems were circulating. The Secretary cautiously expressed the opinion that he should meet Anna Vermouth. It was because the meeting of the relatives was unusual. Recently, Ryle had something to prepare, so he had to hide the attention of the relatives as usual.
Just as he was trying to appear as calm as possible, Anna entered the office.
“It’s been a while, Ryle.”
“I told you not to call me by my name.”
“…Okay, nephew. It’s been a while.”
Anna looked at him very unpleasantly, openly showing his disgust. Although she was following the Vermouth name, she was also an Omega from a prestigious family. So she had hated Ryle’s personality and hadn’t come near him.
He could tell without thinking that his uncle Daniel had sent her here.
“Didn’t you hear from Uncle Daniel that you must have a clear purpose to meet me in the future?”
“Oh, come on. What’s the point of being so stiff when you come to see your nephew?”
They were truly people who couldn’t communicate. If they really wanted to play the nephew game, they could come to his mansion. Of course, he wouldn’t let them in, but to think that they would hinder his work because they were offended by the rejection. Ryle didn’t think he would ever understand their rigid way of thinking until he died.
Still, this was not much left.
Ryle was aggressively digging into the family’s shareholding issues, which he had somewhat tolerated in order to quickly cut off his uncle. In particular, he was willing to take even more action to prevent them from oppressing his subordinates, relying on just one Vermouth name.
Time was of the essence in this matter. So until then, he had to play along with this damn play so that they could be careless.
Thanks to that, Ryle had to endure his aunt’s disgusting behavior of deliberately emitting pheromones for a long time. As if trying to gauge when he would writhe in disgust.
After receiving a pheromone shower from Hae-jin, the symptom of feeling nauseous even when smelling other Omegas’ pheromones had improved a lot. If that wasn’t the case, he would have shown evidence of something wrong with his body in front of his aunt.
Missing the guy’s pheromones like salvation, Ryle moved quickly. He had sprayed pheromone remover, but today the pheromone control was not working well, so he didn’t know if he had erased it properly. It felt like only his pheromones, shaking uneasily, were overflowing around him.
As he entered the reception room, Ryle suddenly froze.
“…Ah.”
“…Were you still awake?”
Hae-jin, who had been spending time blankly in the reception room, suddenly raised his head. He didn’t intend to wait for Ryle, but strangely he didn’t want to go into the bedroom today.
But when Ryle, who had entered the reception room, saw him and his face hardened, he naturally flinched. It was a useless act after all. Without even knowing what he wanted to find out, Hae-jin carefully lowered his gaze. But then, a strange scent brushed past the tip of his nose.
It was the scent of another Omega.
It was an alien pheromone as if a sweet cake had fallen in the middle of the forest. Clearly Ryle’s pheromones were stronger, but it stood out because of its water-and-oil-like distinctiveness. There were no other traits in this mansion other than Ryle and Hae-jin, so the first pheromone he smelled was more touching to his skin.
Hae-jin, who had stiffened without realizing it, stared blankly at Ryle. Before he could come to his senses and say something, Ryle moved first.
“Excuse me, I’m tired.”
As soon as he felt Hae-jin’s pheromones, which were swaying somewhere in a mess, Ryle felt his body collapsing again rapidly. So he had to disappear into his room with steps that were awkwardly resolute.
Only after the door closed with a click did Hae-jin turn his stiff head and look at Ryle’s traces. The chest, which had only been tickling, seemed to be strangely stinging. His expression was naturally frowned as he tried to gauge this strange feeling. Anyway, the tightly closed door showed no sign of opening.
He thought it was just speculation, but it seemed he had found a new Omega after all.
“Oh my, we should be doing things like this.”
The servant, who had carefully approached and snatched the blanket Hae-jin was holding, smiled kindly. Hae-jin, who was trying to tidy up the place roughly because it felt particularly messy after waking up, nodded as if shrinking back.
Even though it would all be collected and washed soon anyway, the servant tidied up the spot where Hae-jin had been as if to show off. Hae-jin watched it for a moment before quietly turning towards the bathroom. He staggered slightly, having just woken up, and immediately felt a gaze following him.
“Are you alright?”
“……Yes.”
Only after closing the bathroom door did a faint sigh escape him. For the past few days, he had been followed by gazes that were almost oppressively attentive.
It wasn’t the uncomfortable gaze he was used to. It was an air of extreme caution, watching Hae-jin’s every move. This made him even more uncomfortable.
The day he smelled a strange scent on Ryle, he had dismissed it casually. He had thought, ‘He must have found a new Omega contractor.’
But thanks to the overly cautious atmosphere of the servants, he couldn’t help but dwell on it. A new person coming, the guest room, and the contract date that Ryle had seemed worried about.
Everything kept rushing at him like rain, confirming the thoughts he had been trying to suppress. They were clearly worried that Hae-jin wouldn’t leave even after the contract period was over. Ryle’s sudden distancing made it even clearer.
He should have gone back to the guest room sooner.
In fact, not long ago, while wandering around the mansion for rehabilitation, he had inadvertently gone to the area where the guest rooms were located. Mark had immediately rushed over and tried to steer him away, in a way that felt unnatural.
It was easy to pretend not to notice. But suspicion clung stubbornly to the back of his mind. What if a new Omega had already arrived? And they were trying to prevent him from running into them.
From his chest, there was a soft, crumbling sound.
Hae-jin looked down at his chest, puzzled, then silently turned on the water and began to prepare to wash. Watching the reactions of the people acting strangely, he was reminded of a familiar situation.
They were definitely good people. Even Ryle had recently become unbelievably gentle. So they must be worried that Hae-jin would continue to rely on their kindness. It was a common occurrence at the orphanage.
Children who hadn’t matured enough were easily drawn to warmth they rarely experienced. For those who came to offer kindness on the premise that it was temporary, it was an inevitably burdensome situation. So, only taking as much warmth as was given was something Hae-jin was used to. The endless warmth his family had shown him had disappeared, and his old habits were returning.
So, Hae-jin began to wash his face. In times like these, it was important to maintain a neat appearance. To look like a child who required as little attention as possible. He wasn’t a child anymore, but if someone asked if he had grown up properly, he honestly couldn’t say yes.
However, no matter how many times he splashed cold water on his face, it didn’t feel refreshing. No matter how much water he poured on his parched face, which had lost its ability to smile, no freshness bloomed.
“……”
He deliberately took a long time to wash, and as expected, all the sheets on the bed had been removed. It seemed as if Hae-jin was also expected to vacate the premises. Silently looking down at it, Hae-jin carefully wiped away the dripping water so that it wouldn’t run onto the floor.
His chest stung again, reminding him of its presence. As if telling him not to forget that there was a box of emotions pressed down there.
This feeling was clearly just a desire for these kind people not to misunderstand. He, who had initially only waited for the day he could leave, had somehow come to cherish this place. Hae-jin realized, as he looked at the empty bed, that he had tried hard to deny it, but it was already too late.
There was no reason to be puzzled by Ryle suddenly avoiding him. To be precise, he, who had only looked forward to the end of the contract, didn’t deserve to be.
“……I need to make things clear.”
He didn’t want to have such an awkward farewell with them. Hae-jin reaffirmed his initial goal. To leave without a trace. A farewell like this would leave behind rough edges.
So, Hae-jin decided that it would be better to clearly express that he wouldn’t cling to this mansion more than necessary.
“He said he was worried about finding temporary accommodation and asked for Mark’s opinion.”
“……”
“……What should we do?”
The moment he heard the Secretary’s words, his breath caught in his throat. It felt as if Hae-jin, who was clearly smaller than him, was squeezing his heart tightly.
Ryle stared blankly at Hae-jin, who had appeared before him like a phantom, looking up at him with dark eyes. It was like a bolt from the blue.
He had definitely asked them to be careful not to make him feel even the slightest discomfort. He knew from Mark’s detailed reports that the servants were doing their best. He didn’t forget to meticulously review the CCTV footage every day.
And yet, for Hae-jin, this was just a space he wanted to leave as soon as possible?
“……How about the penthouse?”
“It’s not going smoothly. Since it involves clearing out the living environment, it’s not progressing quickly……”
The Secretary trailed off as if feeling apologetic, but Ryle couldn’t say anything. How could he not know? It wasn’t impossible, but it was difficult to finish in a short period of time.
“……I have to tell him today.”
Originally, he had planned to tell Hae-jin on the day the contract ended. He wanted to somehow finish preparing the penthouse by then and take him there himself. But he was so anxious that Hae-jin might leave the mansion at any moment that he could barely breathe.
“Contact the mansion. Tell Hae-jin in advance that I’ll be visiting in the evening, no, in the afternoon.”
“Yes.”
He was planning to visit him today and beg for a little more time. Ryle could no longer endure the feeling of his blood slowly drying up.
He could only hope that he wouldn’t end up pathetically vomiting blood.
* * *
Outside, heavy snow was falling. It was as if all the heavy rain that often fell on this city had frozen white. It was a rare sight, and Hae-jin found himself gazing out the window, mesmerized.
He had developed a habit of rubbing near his chest these past few days, and he suddenly turned his gaze towards the wall. The hallway was strangely noisy.
“……”
He was curious about what was going on, but he remembered Mark awkwardly leading him away and deliberately kept his mouth shut. The servants were also strangely absent today. The atmosphere made it feel like he shouldn’t wander around carelessly, so he had even skipped his rehabilitation exercises. Anyway, it would be difficult to go outside on a day with such heavy snow.
He held his breath for a while, as if trying to disappear, and the hallway, which had been filled with the sound of several people running, became quiet. Could something have happened?
Worry occasionally welled up. He wondered if he had said something unnecessary to Mark. But saying that he might want to leave earlier than expected was a bit much. If he said something like that at a time like this, it would be obvious that he was being mindful of them.
However, hearing that Ryle was coming back made him nervous. He hoped he hadn’t been misunderstood. It was probably just a meeting to finalize the contract, since the time was approaching.
Then, there was a knock on the door.
Hae-jin was so startled that he froze in place, still hugging his knees. Just as his lungs, which had inhaled, were about to stiffen, there was another knock.
Barely regaining his senses, Hae-jin took a deep breath and grabbed the doorknob of the bedroom. It could be that as the time to leave approached, the consideration towards him was gradually disappearing. He didn’t want to show that he was too surprised.
However, his hand, which was holding the doorknob, trembled slightly.
“……”
However, an unfamiliar sight that quickly dispelled his fear came into view. In the reception room, there was someone who looked vaguely familiar. Judging by the earpiece they were wearing, they seemed to be part of the security team.
And they were an Alpha.
“Oh……”
Although they were trying to control it, the faint pheromones that were leaking out were unavoidable. In the first place, such meticulous control was only possible for Dominant Alphas like Ryle.
If the Omega pheromones that had clung to Ryle before had been a jarring sense of incongruity, this time it felt different. Hae-jin took a small step back, feeling a sense of unpleasantness, as if something had been violated. He had never felt okay while smelling Alpha pheromones in the first place. Except for Ryle.
“Mr. Vermouth is looking for you.”
At that moment, the security guard’s businesslike voice pierced Hae-jin’s bedroom. In that instant, Hae-jin had a strange premonition. That he would no longer be able to feel that this space had been violated.
It was ridiculous that he had felt that way, since it wasn’t his space in the first place.
Only after hearing the sound of something crumbling from his chest again did Hae-jin nod. It was fortunate that his shrunken body had straightened up indifferently.
Following the security guard who was walking ahead, Hae-jin walked carefully. However, the steps that had never been difficult for him recently felt unusually arduous. Something was wrong, and when he looked ahead, he saw that the security guard was simply walking at his usual pace. It was as if everyone around him had been matching Hae-jin’s slow pace all along.
“……”
Feeling strangely upset, he deliberately moved his legs more diligently. He had never felt his heavy legs so keenly as he did today, but he forced himself to lift his head forward.
Only after going out into the hallway did he realize that the mansion was quite quiet. It was strange, since there had clearly been a commotion earlier.
The security guard headed towards a room he had never been to before. Judging by the structure, it seemed to be a reception room for welcoming outside guests. He had only lived in the mansion as if passing through, so he didn’t know the purpose of every room.
As they approached a certain door, the security guard knocked politely. Hae-jin, who had flinched reflexively, was soon able to put on an indifferent expression.
“Come in.”
However, the voice coming from inside sounded strange. Before he could express his confusion at the bizarre situation, the security guard opened the door and stepped aside. As if telling him to go in.
Feeling bewildered, he stepped inside and saw an Alpha he had never seen before sitting arrogantly in the seat of honor.
“You’ve arrived.”
“……”
Unable to hide his confusion, Hae-jin hurriedly turned around. The security guard who had guided him had returned to his position and was nowhere to be seen.
After the door closed completely, Hae-jin couldn’t hide his awkwardness and looked at the Alpha in front of him. He was very uncomfortable with the way he was blatantly announcing his presence with pheromones, unlike the security guard he had seen earlier.
He had naturally assumed that Ryle had called for him. Looking at the Alpha’s blond hair, Hae-jin asked with a hint of hope.
“Did Mr. Vermouth send you?”
However, at his question, the Alpha frowned as if displeased and said arrogantly.
“I am Vermouth.”
“……”
Sitting in the mansion, Daniel was once again envious of this place. He also didn’t like the sight of an inferior, oriental person standing there stiffly.
However, judging by the Omega’s reaction, it seemed that he had come here willingly, thinking it was Ryle. As if it had been arranged in advance.
Thinking that things might be a little easier, Daniel calmly lied.
“Daniel Vermouth, the Chairman’s uncle. If you ask if your nephew sent me, that’s also correct.”
“Ah……”
It was a little strange that he called Ryle “Chairman” instead of his name, but Hae-jin accepted it. Seeing that he was blond, even if his hair was dull, he understood that he was a relative.
“Sit.”
Daniel gestured arrogantly towards the seat in front of him. He acted as if he were the owner of this mansion. If he was Ryle’s relative, it wouldn’t be entirely wrong.
His pheromones and demeanor all showed that he didn’t like Hae-jin. Hae-jin barely swallowed a bitter smile and sat quietly where he had indicated.
Sitting down with a parched heart, his spirits also sank. The CCTV cameras on the ceiling were still working fine. And even the Alpha relative in front of him. He couldn’t believe that all of this wasn’t Ryle’s intention.
So, only one question remained. Why?
“I heard you’ve done a lot of work.”
“……Work?”
“Yes. Anyway, you must have received a generous reward.”
Why would he send someone else instead of facing Hae-jin himself? The sound of crumbling near his heart was gradually fading.
As if there was nothing left to crumble.
“But now, the contract is coming to an end.”
“……”
To understand the intention of this sudden situation, Hae-jin chose to remain silent for now. However, Daniel was puzzled by how unusually quiet the Omega in front of him was. He already thought that the way he was standing stiffly was displeasing, so it seemed as if he was showing resistance.
Besides, there wasn’t much time. It was a gap that he had barely created by bribing one of the security guards. Daniel glanced at the watch on his thick wrist and decided to get to the point.
“Trying to grasp something beyond your means will only lead to bloodshed. Besides, you’re an orphan, right? There’s a limit to your traits with unknown roots or inferior genes.”
“……”
“I mean, just quietly finish your contract and disappear. Do you understand?”
A strange beeping sound rang in his ears. The disgusting pheromones that Daniel was emitting felt like thorns stabbing Hae-jin.
He wondered why he was going to such trouble, but it seemed that what he had been worried about was right. He should have told Mark more clearly that he was willing to leave this mansion earlier.
Then, there would have been no reason to swallow his sorrow in this mansion again.
“I see.”
With the last sound of crumbling, Hae-jin nodded. His heavy head was forced down with difficulty before rising up again.
It’s okay. It’s really over now.
“You understand well.”
Daniel smiled with satisfaction at the unexpectedly docile response. As expected, those who had nothing only realized their place when they were told directly.
“Don’t waste your energy…… wait, where are you going?”
However, that was only for a moment. Hae-jin, who had spat out a word, suddenly stood up from his seat.
“Hey.”
Unpleasant pheromones wafted from behind, but Hae-jin didn’t care. He continued to walk out of the reception room like a ghost.
He felt as if his legs, which had been so heavy when he came, no longer hurt. Daniel’s voice also faded into the distance.
As he walked as if possessed, he quickly reached the room he had been borrowing. Hae-jin, who had reflexively glanced at Ryle’s bedroom once, went straight into the closet without hesitating.
He took off all the clothes he had given him and changed into his own old clothes that he had prepared in advance. He felt comfortable now that he was wearing something that suited him.
As he was about to leave with his trunk, a blue scarf caught his eye.
“……”
Hae-jin stopped moving for the first time since leaving Daniel. He stared down at it with his endlessly dark eyes, looking like someone who had lost his expression.
In the end, only the scarf that resembled Ryle’s eyes was neatly placed behind Hae-jin, who had turned away.
His steps were light because he had left behind so much. As he left the mansion like the wind, it was strangely as if he didn’t encounter a single servant. The strange silence seemed to be urging him to leave.
“Where are you going?”
The security guard who had guided him earlier spoke to him as he reached the front gate of the mansion, where the car was waiting. His face looked somewhat anxious.
“Outside the mansion.”
Looking at the Omega who was speaking indifferently, the security guard frowned in confusion. He had been worried, so did the conversation go well?
The Alpha had been recently and suddenly demoted to perimeter security, and he was dissatisfied. He had liked the inner mansion or the forest security behind the mansion better because they were more laid-back. He had been recognized for his abilities and had received a fairly high position, which he had liked, but once he became dissatisfied, he couldn’t help but feel annoyed.
The fact that all the people who had been offered transfers were Alphas bothered him. He didn’t understand why everyone was reacting as if they understood. Wasn’t it obvious that the reason they had to leave a place where they had been working perfectly well was because of the mansion’s only Omega?
It was already frustrating enough that he hadn’t been working at this mansion for very long, which only made his irritation spike. He ignored the fact that the contract Vermouth’s headquarters had offered was exceptionally good, above average. He just felt bad that it was all because of one Omega from the East.
Then Daniel approached him. He was tempted by the enormous amount of hush money. He also liked the idea of getting rid of the Omega who had been bothering him anyway. Besides, Daniel was family of this mansion, after all. It seemed like a good excuse to make later.
But seeing Hae-jin leave the mansion so quickly made it seem like things were working out well in many ways. Daniel’s purpose in coming here was accomplished without any particular fuss. If so, there would be no problems later.
“I’ll prepare the car for you.”
He knew that Hae-jin’s leg was not in good condition. It was a little strange that he came out with only one trunk, but he didn’t care, assuming that Daniel would give him more money if he disappeared quickly.
As soon as the black-haired man nodded silently, the bodyguard ordered his subordinate to prepare the car. Daniel had acted as if time was of the essence, so he thought it would be better to get rid of this Omega quickly.
Hae-jin got into the car quietly and disappeared. Even before long after he left, a report came from his subordinate. He said that Hae-jin got out of the car as soon as he reached the city. It seemed that Daniel had treated him like a shameless Omega, but that wasn’t the case.
He was wondering why Daniel wasn’t leaving the mansion now that the matter was settled. Then he saw Mark and the servants running urgently from the back of the mansion.
“What’s going on! Daniel is supposed to be here. And didn’t Mr. Bright go to the forest again!”
The bodyguard had lied roughly because Daniel said he was uncomfortable with Mark. In fact, he thought that only Mark would go to check the back, but he was a little surprised that the servants suddenly rushed there all at once.
But soon he smiled smoothly and made an excuse. He had something to rely on.
“Oh, that’s. I think my subordinate saw it wrong.”
“What?”
“Oh, and that Omega is gone. He said he was leaving.”
But the moment he said this, Mark’s face turned paler than he could have imagined. The faces of the servants gathered in the back also turned pale.
Only after facing those expressions did the bodyguard instinctively feel that something was seriously wrong.
Hae-jin walked down the street.
The dull sound of the old trunk hitting the rough spots of the asphalt echoed through the street. Because it was snowing heavily, he could occasionally hear a squishing sound. No one looked at him, but he felt uneasy because it seemed like he was making dirty noises.
But it was too much for him to lift the trunk altogether. As a result, he had to keep walking into the city, making the sound of the wheels rolling endlessly. He was planning to go a little further and take the bus. As he walked, looking only at the ground, he couldn’t shake off the feeling of walking on thin ice.
Did Ryle really have to go this far?
He certainly had no intention of clinging on even if he had just been asked to leave. In the first place, he had stayed this long against his will, so he felt resentful.
And strangely, it hurt a lot.
He thought he didn’t have the energy to hurt anymore, but strangely, the pain continued. Ryle’s voice, saying that he was the most important guest, echoed in his head unnecessarily. But did he have to send him out at the end as if he was shaking off dirt?
Only then did Hae-jin realize that he was like a child who had become too attached to warmth. He thought he was keeping his distance well, but he was wrong. He had become accustomed to the warm mansion surrounding him. That’s why it hurt so much.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t his fault. Their warmth was like a heavy rain pouring down on a dry drought. It was inevitable that Hae-jin, who had been parched and dry, would get soaked.
Anyway, now that he had clearly realized it, he had to let go of the warmth that he had unknowingly coveted. Each time he let go of the emotions he had been holding on to, a long trail of melted snow followed behind Hae-jin. As if rain was actually pouring out of him.
With each difficult step he took, he gradually returned to his former self. As if his softened heart had been a lie, the vitality gradually disappeared from his face. His body withered and shrank again in an instant. Hae-jin had to witness himself, parched and dry from a long drought, once again.
When he thought about it, he was already on the edge of a cliff. He hadn’t been able to get out of here even once since his parents passed away. He had just forgotten for a moment because the things surrounding him were too warm.
It was a good thing that he had left without listening to Daniel any further. Hae-jin, whose toes were already halfway off the cliff, could not confront or resist this. It was best to just avoid it. Otherwise, he would really be pushed out.
On a white day when snow was falling heavily. That’s how Hae-jin left the mansion. Leaving behind black marks made by the trunk wheels, like tears.
“Find him. What the hell is the security team doing!”
“Personnel have been deployed to the city immediately, but, the snow is so heavy that it’s difficult to secure visibility.”
“Check if there are any other bastards who have been bought off besides that Alpha. Deploy all the personnel from headquarters as well. Immediately!”
“If we deploy all the personnel from headquarters, the headquarters…, I understand.”
The Secretary, who was about to show his reluctance, quickly lowered his head and changed his words. Seeing Ryle’s eyes shining fiercely with bloodshot eyes, he felt his knees buckle.
Even though all the people he had planted were actively looking for Hae-jin, Ryle couldn’t just sit still. He had to pace anxiously at the entrance of the mansion where Hae-jin was last seen. He was ready to run out at any moment if he heard a clue.
The Secretary was puzzled when he heard the sudden news during the day. It was that Hae-jin had suddenly gone to the forest on a day when it was snowing so heavily.
Ryle was in the middle of an important video conference. He had been extremely restricting all business trips that required him to go far away recently, so he couldn’t postpone it.
As soon as he heard those words from the bodyguard, Mark and the servants were surprised and ran to the forest, so the Secretary prepared the car. He thought Ryle would go straight to the mansion.
But even after searching for a long time, there was no news from Mark. Realizing that something was not right, the Secretary put aside all his work and began to search through the mansion’s CCTVs one by one. Even after looking at all the places Hae-jin usually went, there was no trace of the black-haired man. So now it was time to look at the rooms that were not used often.
An unexpected person was sitting in one of the drawing rooms.
Immediately, the Secretary sent a signal to Ryle. Ryle, who had hurried to finish the meeting, was waiting for earth-shattering news.
Hae-jin had disappeared.
The guy’s movements, which he found again from the beginning, were amazing. It took less than 30 minutes. From the moment Hae-jin met Daniel to the moment he decided to leave the mansion immediately and put it into action.
If he didn’t know the circumstances, it would have seemed as if he had left as if he had been waiting for Daniel. Ryle was angry that Daniel had dared to pull off such a trick right under his nose. But soon he had to fall into even greater despair.
Because Hae-jin was leaving the mansion without any hesitation.
The pain in his heart covered him with a desperate feeling that seemed to break his back and sink him to the floor. It felt as if the snow falling so hard that he couldn’t see was entering his lungs as it was. Every time he took a breath, he felt choked up.
Just today, he was going to ask for a little more time.
But Ryle desperately endured it. If he collapsed now, it would only take longer to get Hae-jin back. He had found the guy who had been traveling without a trace before. He was sure it would be like that this time too. Unlike then, the search had started faster.
But strangely, he couldn’t hide his anxiety. He felt like he would go crazy if he didn’t know where Hae-jin was for a little longer.
It’s only a matter of time anyway. He was sure he could find him. Ryle kept repeating to himself as if he was casting a spell.
But he couldn’t figure out why he was so creepily uneasy.
An familiar structure came into Hae-jin’s sight in front of the bus stop. It was the ATM where he had withdrawn money once before. In the distance, he could see the old motel where he had stayed when he was tired of walking. It was the very place where Ryle had barged in at night to find Hae-jin.
The motel was located in front of a narrow road right under the mountain. If it wasn’t for the bus stop, it would be hard to believe that cars were traveling on this remote forest road, as it was so deserted. In fact, there were few cars on the road, so only the wheel marks of the bus that had just passed were clear.
In front of the silent forest where he could hear the sound of snow falling, Hae-jin was lost in thought. He had originally planned to unpack his luggage at that motel again. It was the place where he had once sold Hae-jin’s information to Ryle, but there was no other choice. It was the closest and only place to his destination.
“…….”
His gaze fell back to the ATM. While looking at the floor in front of the machine, where snow had piled up white without a single footprint, Hae-jin silently continued his thoughts.
He was originally planning to stay here a little longer.
This time, he had enough cash in his wallet. He had found them while going back and forth to the hospital. It was always better to be well prepared. His luggage was simple, just like then.
But Hae-jin, who had been looking at the motel as if he was going to go there, finally turned his back. It was snowing, but there was still quite a bit of time left before sunset.
If he walked quickly, he could arrive today.
He slowly stepped on the snow. His uncomfortable leg became extremely unstable on the snowy road, but he managed not to fall. He put strength into his hand and used the trunk to balance himself. Thanks to this, his footprints, though a little crooked, went straight towards the lake.
He wanted to forget it, but the question continued to bother him. As he came here and thought with his dry head again, something didn’t feel right.
Thinking about the Ryle of the past, it would have been more appropriate for him to tell him to get lost directly. Without even sending a relative he had never seen before to warn him.
Of course, he might be too busy to even give Hae-jin time. Maybe he found an Omega who was more compatible and didn’t feel it was worth it.
But even if there was some misunderstanding, what did it matter?
Hae-jin was already tattered enough. The insults flew and pierced him like thorns, but he had no responsibility to endure and understand them, at least not for him. It was enough to be as precarious as thin paper soaked in water. There was no need to show himself torn and scattered in that place.
So Hae-jin decided to keep walking without stopping. Then he felt like he could shake off this strange feeling that even made him feel betrayed and leave it behind.
Ryle had already found Hae-jin several times. So now, all he had to do was head to a place where Ryle couldn’t follow.
All he needed now was a weak leg to take him there and a little time.
“Ugh, please, that’s not it, it’s all Daniel’s fault…”
“Shut up.”
The Alpha who had called Hae-jin out of the bedroom was sprawled out in front of Ryle with a messed-up face. The bodyguards throw the guy down in the hallway not far from the entrance of the mansion. Some of them had slightly uncomfortable faces, but there was no mercy in their hands. Because of the guy’s stupid actions, the jobs of the entire security team at the mansion were about to be cut off.
Only after the interrogation was over did Ryle find out exactly what Daniel had done. Daring to do that in his mansion, daring to do that to Hae-jin. What’s worse, he quickly left the mansion while everyone was confused and mistaken that he had gone to the forest.
Soon, a hunger that felt like his insides were being cut off covered him. He could clearly see what misunderstandings Hae-jin must have had.
‘I have nowhere else to fall now.’
There must be a reason why he remembered the guy’s words when he urged him to sign the contract again at this moment. This absurd mistake had pushed Hae-jin’s back. Ryle seemed to know exactly why the guy had left the mansion so resolutely without even hesitating for a moment.
Ryle couldn’t believe this situation at all, so he went straight up to his room. Only Hae-jin and the guy’s old trunk were gone. It was as if there was no trace that anyone had been here.
When he saw the blue scarf lying alone, he just felt like he was going to die.
“Any news about Hae-jin?”
“It has been confirmed that he took the bus, but there is still no news. I’m sorry.”
With a trembling hand, Ryle covered his mouth. His churning stomach wanted to pour out everything inside him. It felt like each of his ribs was breaking and bending inward.
His vision was dyed red and did not return. This sight of red snow scattering all over the world was definitely not normal. He was sure that finding Hae-jin was only a matter of time. But he couldn’t shake off the feeling that he was late.
‘……I want to see the lake.’
Then, suddenly, Hae-jin’s words sounded like a hallucination in his head. It was the only place Hae-jin had said he wanted to go directly. Why the lake of all places.
Come to think of it, when he brought Hae-jin back, the guy was constantly heading somewhere. The place where Hae-jin withdrew all his remaining assets naturally came to his mind.
Why did Hae-jin take out all his assets without hesitation at that time?
“The old motel where I brought Hae-jin before.”
“Yes, Chairman.”
“Is there a lake near there?”
The Secretary was puzzled, but immediately took out his cell phone to check. Mark, who was watching the situation with a dark face, was the same. It was a mistake to run to the forest without looking back, fearing that Hae-jin might get hurt by the sound of the forest. He should have checked if he was safe in the room first. The sound of the servants blaming themselves in a similar way also hovered gloomily around the mansion.
Ryle’s hands had been clenched so tightly that they had been bloodless for a while.
* * *
Heavy Rain City had a very short winter. Unlike other cities, the mild climate continued throughout the year, and then a sudden cold snap covered the city. The cold snap that stayed for a while gradually disappeared around January.
However, it often snowed at the end of winter, as if rain was always by its side. Heavy snow like heavy rain.
Thanks to wandering through the forest path for a long time, Hae-jin was finally able to reach his destination.
The lake was surrounded by a quiet silence. The snow that had been falling softly and steadily had already turned the area around the lake all white. No one came to this remote and unremarkable lake on such a rough day. Except for Hae-jin.
After briefly taking in the scenery of the lake, he slowly moved his steps again. Not only his injured leg, but also almost no sensation below his knees. But it was okay. His unstable leg had successfully led him here.
The sound of stepping on the snow became familiar in the meantime. Hae-jin thought it was fate that it was snowing so much today. Just like his heart, the snow covered everything on the ground.
Even if someone fell somewhere, the snow would cover up their miserable appearance.
He could see the other side of the lake. His family used to sit on that side and look at the brilliantly shining surface of the lake. Unmanaged weeds fluttered in the wind, and occasionally the shadows of large fish could be seen under the surface of the water.
He steadily moved his steps. Precarious, but Hae-jin did not stop. He wanted to go to the place where his family used to sit together. The sensation of the snow touching his feet changed slightly. It seemed that he had come up onto the lawn near the lake in the meantime.
“……H……!”
He was sorry that there was no sun. But he decided to be thankful that the snow was piling up thickly. Because all the dirty footprints he was leaving behind would be covered up.
At some point, it became very difficult to pull the trunk. Even though the ground was flat, something was strangely tangled in the wheels. Hae-jin, who thought that it was his lingering feelings, let go of the handle that he had been holding on to even though his hands were numb from the cold.
The trunk, which had been following heavily behind, stopped at the edge of the lake.
“……Hae-jin……!”
His steps were lighter now that he had let go of his lingering feelings. If he crossed the lake straight ahead, he could reach the place where his family used to spread out their picnic mat. He had no sensation in his toes.
The footsteps that had led straight to the lake as soon as he came out of the forest continued to move in the same direction. So that he wouldn’t have to go around to get to the other side of the lake.
That’s how his steps, dotted like that, drew closer to the lake. The sound of water surging and rippling beneath the ice could be heard.
Just one more step, the moment he was about to step forward.
“Hae-jin!”
His body, which had been blankly walking forward, abruptly stopped. Someone pulled Hae-jin relentlessly from behind, trapping him in large, warm arms. He couldn’t tell if the lake’s water had brushed against his frozen toes because he had no sensation. He was just a little disappointed.
One step more, forward.
“Hae-jin, stop!”
The arms wrapped around his waist were too tight to break free. Blankly staring at the other side of the lake, he was slowly pulled down to the ground. The warmth behind him continued to pull the coldly frozen Hae-jin backward, backward.
Without realizing it, he struggled, reaching his arms forward. It was then that Ryle’s pheromone, utterly disheveled, enveloped the vicinity of the lake.
“Don’t go.”
“……”
A terribly trembling voice reached right near his ear. That hot breath painfully touched his skin. As if resigned, Hae-jin dropped his arms to the ground, only keeping his gaze fixed on the other side of the lake. Like someone who couldn’t hear anything.
It wasn’t just his voice; Ryle couldn’t shake off the sensation of his entire body trembling. He couldn’t even muster the will to control his pheromones. Desperate emotions poured out unfiltered. It was a great agitation, unlike Ryle, who usually managed his pheromones with almost obsessive compulsiveness.
The lakeside, where heavy rain had solidified and fallen, was so white it hurt the eyes. That’s why Hae-jin’s black hair reached Ryle’s vision so destructively. Making it known even from afar that Hae-jin was there.
From the moment he spotted him, Ryle ran like a madman. Hae-jin’s steps, precarious but moving forward, were somehow strange.
The lake was so white that it seemed impossible to distinguish one part from another. The edge of the lake was covered in slush ice, wearing white snow like a hat.
However, the gloomily sunken water in the middle was clearly visible. Because the weather wasn’t cold enough to freeze it solid all the way to the center.
Hae-jin was staring intently at it, yet he only walked forward.
“I know I have no right to say this, but this time it’s a misunderstanding. So, please…”
That’s why Ryle felt a deep fear for the first time. He realized how complacent he had been in believing that he could always find Hae-jin, no matter where he was.
The eyes of the guy looking at the empty other side of the lake were vacant. As if he was ready to go to a place that he could never chase after.
All that agitation was clearly conveyed to Hae-jin as well. The arms holding his body tightly transmitted the vibrations relentlessly. The pheromones clung to Hae-jin desperately, filled with endless despair.
Hae-jin, who had been indifferently watching it like slush ice on the lake, moved his lips.
“Mr. Vermouth.”
“……Speak.”
Hae-jin’s faint pheromone, flowing out dryly, mercilessly dug into Ryle’s chest along with his words.
Because there was painfully nothing contained within.
Ryle’s hands were now shaking uncontrollably. Even though he was holding onto Hae-jin, it didn’t feel like he had him. He wanted to retreat from that dangerous lake, but he couldn’t even pull him because he was too afraid of the guy just standing there. The best he could do was just hold on and plead like this.
Hae-jin, who was ready to let go of Ryle’s hand at any moment, was so terrifying.
Endless frustration pressed down on his shoulders. The snow falling from the sky weighed down on Ryle’s entire body as if scolding him. That fate was so heavy and frightening that Ryle slowly crumbled.
He hugged Hae-jin’s back with both arms. It felt like he would go forward without even turning around, leaving him alone here.
Cold snow touched both knees.
“Please, don’t go.”
“……”
He thought that after realizing the imprinting, he wouldn’t be able to refuse anything Hae-jin wanted to do. But at this moment, Ryle realized that there was something he had to do, even if he had to spit up blood in an unsightly manner.
He couldn’t let him go into the cold lake like this. Wasn’t he venting his resentment in the wrong place?
“I imprinted on you.”
You should have just shot me instead. Instead of throwing yourself into the cold water like this.
“……”
Hae-jin, who had been ready to step forward at any moment, suddenly stiffened.
Ryle, who had been clinging to him with both arms, clearly felt it. He slowly lowered his face and pressed his forehead against Hae-jin’s back. His body, which had been exposed to the snow for so long, was cold and painful.
It couldn’t be helped even if it sounded selfish. Ryle had to gamble at this moment.
“…I won’t even talk about contracts anymore. Just stay by my side.”
Ryle had no right to worry about Hae-jin’s actions and dissuade him. So he had to awaken the mind of Hae-jin, who was still blankly looking at the other side of the lake. Cruelly, with selfish words, the fact that Hae-jin couldn’t shake everything off and go there.
Even if he was hated forever.
“A person who loses their imprinting partner dies.”
“……”
“……Please……”
At Ryle’s words, he slowly turned his body around. From the forest, the guards who had belatedly caught up with them were running over.
The arms that had been holding his body tightly loosened like a lie when Hae-jin turned around. However, as soon as he faced Ryle completely, he grabbed his waist like shackles again. As if he was uneasy.
Hae-jin slowly lowered his head. Ryle’s posture, kneeling in front of him, felt very awkward. But on the other hand, it was ironically familiar. Since when had his pheromones always approached him like this?
The same was true of Ryle’s pheromones, which were rushing in as if to fill the lake with himself.
“……What did you say?”
Imprinting. Who, on whom?
Hae-jin could no longer pretend not to see the emotions he had been suppressing in his heart. Because Ryle had just told him that he could never be with his family again.
He wanted to think that he was lying because he was afraid that he would die right in front of his eyes. But Hae-jin now realized that he had already instinctively recognized this long ago. Ryle’s pheromones, which had been so cautious around Hae-jin as if he were a huge fire, proved it.
He felt empty that he hadn’t realized it sooner.
And he was upset.
Once the anger soared, it only grew endlessly. The emotions that he had simply suppressed because he didn’t know how to express them had festered and rotted there, accumulating like black pus.
Even though he was afraid of needles, Hae-jin wanted to know for sure if he was pregnant until the end. That way, he wouldn’t take an innocent life. He didn’t want to leave a heavy burden of guilt on his way to see his family.
But imprinting. Hae-jin also knew that if there was no imprinting partner, the person who imprinted would also die. He didn’t want to know, but he knew. Beyond just the knowledge he had, Ryle’s pheromones were desperately telling him that.
“I imprinted, on you, Hae-jin.”
At that moment, the sound of skin colliding echoed across the lake. Tearing apart the silent place where only the sound of snow shyly piling up could be heard.
Ryle, who had been slapped unexpectedly, turned his head sharply. Watching his cheeks flush red, Hae-jin realized that it wasn’t just his body that had been dragged down to the ground.
At the word “misunderstanding,” he guessed that he had some circumstances. But as he had thought earlier, what did it matter? If the kind attitude he had shown so far was genuine, then that kind of humiliation should never have happened in front of Hae-jin again. Especially if he had imprinted on him.
Like his sorrowful five years that had passed, it should never have happened again.
“Why can’t I even control my own life?”
A trembling voice spread across the quiet lakeside. The people who were approaching from afar sensed the unusual atmosphere and stopped without coming any closer.
A tingling pain started from his fingertips. Soon, that pain grew as if pressing down on his heart. It was absurd that Ryle was even kneeling in this snowfield. Hae-jin’s heart, which had already become prickly, was raging in all directions. Just as he was about to open his mouth again, unable to control his anger.
Ryle’s calm confession flowed out.
“You’re right. It’s my fault.”
The moment he heard that answer, he strangely lost all strength.
An empty feeling suddenly escaped his body. It felt as if something that had been supporting his spine until now had scattered entirely into the air along with his exhale.
Even with his cheeks flushed red from being hit, Ryle was only looking up at Hae-jin’s face. Hae-jin was finally dragged down to the cold ground without being able to go to his family in the sky. Ryle watched that empty fall without even blinking.
After watching him for a long time, Ryle carefully took Hae-jin’s hand, which he had raised to slap his cheek. His hand, which had been cold and frozen, was very red from the sudden impact. Ryle looked at Hae-jin’s red, chapped palm as if it pained him more than his own cheek that had been hit. Then he took off the gloves he was wearing.
Only after forcibly putting warm gloves on both hands did Ryle look straight up at Hae-jin again. Blue eyes, resembling the lake, turned to him with desperation.
The emotions that Hae-jin had been desperately ignoring were filled inside him like a lake. It was a truly mismatched emotion with the selfish words he had said to him, saying that he had imprinted.
“……”
The emptiness that had replaced the great anger was so great and heavy that it weighed down on his body. His legs, which had been numb since earlier, no longer had the strength to carry him forward. His hands, which had been numb from the cold, hurt too much because they had been wrapped in warmth.
It was a pain he didn’t need to know.
At that moment, the strength suddenly drained from his body.
In an instant, his knees, which he had barely been supporting, buckled. Ryle caught Hae-jin, who suddenly collapsed to the ground, without a moment’s gap. Like someone who had all his senses focused on everything about him.
The limp Hae-jin was held in Ryle’s arms.
“Let’s go home.”
Ryle whispered in his ear. In his flickering vision, he could see his golden eyelashes. The snow that had fallen from the sky, as if he had been wandering outside for a long time, was clinging to his eyelashes. It melted away and lingered around Ryle’s eyes like tears.
Unlike before, he was unfamiliar with himself for easily thinking of his mansion at the word “home.”
* * *
Each time he blinked, the scenery outside the car window changed quickly. The limp Hae-jin couldn’t resist Ryle, who wouldn’t let him down even in the car. The warmth clinging to his entire body was now squeezing pain from his entire body.
When he opened his eyes briefly, it was the entrance to the mansion. Mark’s worried face could be seen. The stiff bodies of the guards, who were very nervous, were also occasionally visible.
He closed his eyes again and opened them, and it was the room where he had stayed for a long time. Ryle went into his bedroom, not the bedroom that he had always used. The limp Hae-jin just watched him do what he was doing.
Whether he had instructed in advance, the bathroom attached to Ryle’s bedroom was filled with warm water. A fluffy sofa that didn’t suit the bathroom was also placed there. After sitting Hae-jin there, Ryle carefully took off his shoes and rolled up his pants.
Then he scooped up the hot water and slowly began to wipe his legs.
“……”
“……”
Ryle was silent throughout. He thought the water touching his toes would be very hot, but it was bearable. It was because Ryle was constantly massaging him so that he wouldn’t feel the pain. Especially the touch that went back and forth on his ankles was so careful that it was ticklish.
While silently watching him do that, Hae-jin suddenly blurted out a question.
“Why did you imprint?”
Why me of all people?
At that question, which was like a seizure, Ryle, who had been kneeling and busily moving his hands, stopped abruptly.
His hand holding his leg trembled. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Hae-jin’s face. Because he had clearly seen Hae-jin collapsing in emptiness earlier.
The warm steam filling the bathroom intervened between them. Each time he inhaled the humid air, he felt suffocated. Ryle couldn’t answer those words, which were like reproach.
“Why?”
So when he asked again, he just had to lower his head. Ryle slowly lowered his face onto Hae-jin’s cold knees. Like that day when he had buried his face in his shoulder.
“I’m sorry. I’m, I’m sorry.”
A sensation more moist than the humid air slowly melted Hae-jin’s knees. As if that was the answer he had been waiting for, Hae-jin just silently looked down at Ryle like that.
“I’m sorry.”
I’m sorry that I can’t let you go.
And forgive me for being happy that I have an excuse not to let you go.