By Zephyria Hae-jin was sick for days on end.
He was in so much pain. His whole body was burning, and he was barely holding onto his hazy consciousness. It was as if all the pain he had been pushing back and ignoring had come rushing at him all at once.
Now I have to live.
Even as he breathed heavily through the pain, Hae-jin realized with difficulty. Because he was going to turn his back on everything, because he was going to let go of everything, he could easily abandon it all there. Because it was just a place he was passing through, he could think of it lightly.
But now he couldn’t do that.
“Hae-jin, just a little more. Come on.”
A very earnest voice urged him. He blinked his hot eyelids and saw a spoon with a little soup being pushed in front of him. Hae-jin unconsciously opened his mouth slightly. The spoon carefully entered his mouth and soon left. He didn’t know what it tasted like, but the soup went down his throat. The mushy sensation was unpleasant.
The spoon came to him several times like that. He didn’t have any strength in his body, but strangely, it was easy to hold his head up. Puzzled, he turned his dry eyes slightly and saw broad shoulders. Only then did Hae-jin realize that Ryle was holding him from behind, sitting him up. He must have been feeding him.
“This time it’s medicine.”
A small, whispering voice clung to his ear. It was as if he was afraid that if he spoke too loudly, Hae-jin would crumble and scatter. The sound of clothes rustling and people holding their breath echoed through the wide space. Hae-jin frowned unconsciously because he couldn’t remember where he was.
Immediately, the body that was embracing him stiffened.
“Please, just swallow this. Huh?”
His voice was so desperate that Hae-jin unconsciously opened his mouth again. The ardent sensation, hard to ignore, penetrated his skin. It was a nuisance.
This time, a distinctly bitter liquid went down his throat. He groaned in his throat because he didn’t like it. However, he wasn’t sure if the sound actually came out or if it just echoed in his mind.
Something was wrong. At first, he seemed to have shaken his head at this touch. But from time to time, a pair of blue, lake-like eyes began to plead desperately.
Hae-jin, his mind muddled by the fever, had no choice but to entrust himself to the flowing rain. It was a pair of blue eyes that asserted themselves heavily, making it difficult to even abandon him. The good thing was that he didn’t have to try to support his body, so he felt more comfortable.
Then he felt his body soaring upward. His head was buzzing.
“You have to fall asleep in a little while, Hae-jin.”
His cheek was pressed hard against a firm, warm shoulder. But instead of resisting, Hae-jin drooped his head even further, as if burrowing in. A steady vibration rumbled through his body. His throbbing head slowly pressed down to the floor.
Even with his heavy head, Hae-jin realized that he was being held in Ryle’s arms like a koala, circling the room. He didn’t know why, but Ryle always repeated this after pleading with a spoon for a long time. He did it several times while he was lying in bed with a fever.
It made him feel like he had become a giant newborn.
“Hae-jin, open your eyes for a second. That’s right.”
He was so sleepy, but Ryle occasionally urged him to open his eyes, lifting him up. He turned his head irritably, but it seemed that he only twitched slightly. A soft cloth brushed his cheek.
Until now, he had vomited as soon as he lay down after taking medicine, but after Ryle started walking around the room with him in his arms, he got better. He didn’t feel like he was going to vomit right away or that his stomach was twisting. In particular, the feeling of his solar plexus twisting terribly, even though he hadn’t eaten anything, was painful even when he was unconscious.
“You can sleep now.”
He didn’t know how much time had passed. Hae-jin, who had been staring blankly over his shoulder because Ryle had woken him up several times, finally closed his eyes. A heavy, sorrowful sleep enveloped him again.
Still, he had become quite used to this broad embrace.
On a night when stillness spread its wings over everyone, Hae-jin woke up.
As soon as he came to his senses, he reflexively and slowly raised his body. It felt like he was submerged in sticky water and then pulling his body out. He closed his eyes for a long time because his head was spinning for a moment, and then he could see someone large crouching next to him.
“…….”
Ryle’s hair, scattered on the pillow, was sparkling in the softly shining moonlight. He stared at the scene as if he was possessed, as if stars had fallen.
As soon as he wondered why he was here, painful memories passed through his dazed mind. It felt like he was watching a video that someone had recorded, without any emotion.
He looked around the room and saw that it was Ryle’s bedroom. A strange feeling, familiar yet unfamiliar, washed over Hae-jin. Then, suddenly, an impulse arose. Since the moon was so bright, he wanted to see the fairy tale book his mother had read to him.
Almost half-dreaming, Hae-jin followed the traces of his family. He couldn’t go to the lake where they had been together anymore, so he felt like he deserved to breathe if he could at least retrace his memories like this.
As he moved his body, something heavy that had been on top of him fell off with a thud. It was Ryle’s arm, which had been holding him tightly until now. He must have been in a very deep sleep, because he didn’t move at all.
With an incomprehensibly cautious gesture, Hae-jin gently put his arm down.
As soon as he got down from the bed, his legs gave way. However, he didn’t feel any pain because there was a thick rug, almost like a blanket, on the floor. Hae-jin got up, staggering nonchalantly, and walked forward again. He felt like he had only blinked for a moment, but he was already in the hallway.
A chilly sensation clung to his skin. Only then did he realize that he was wearing simple clothes, but he didn’t care. The study wasn’t that far away. However, his injured leg felt strangely dull.
He groped around for a long time, but he couldn’t get out of the hallway. He felt like he had left the room so quickly, but it was strange.
Then there was a loud noise from behind.
“Hae-jin!”
The sound of the door hitting the wall roughly echoed repeatedly. Hae-jin turned around blankly at the sudden commotion. Soon, Ryle came out into the hallway where he was, in a hurry.
Hae-jin stood there silently, watching him, because his legs didn’t seem to want to move anymore. Ryle’s eyes widened as soon as he found him, and he ran over to him in a daze. It was only a moment before Ryle’s arms, which had quickly approached, blocked his view.
His body floated up and his hair fluttered back a little. Taking advantage of that gap, Ryle’s desperate pheromone passed through the strands of his hair, filling them. It felt like he had been thrown into a forest all at once, and he woke up.
Ryle, who was holding him tightly in his arms, buried his face in his shoulder. His whole body was shaking violently, even though he was holding him so tightly that he couldn’t fall.
After holding Hae-jin like that for a long time, barely breathing, Ryle barely opened his mouth.
“Where were you, …where were you trying to go?”
Hae-jin calmly listened to his trembling words. He also looked at the two arms that were clinging to him so much that he couldn’t ignore them anymore.
“To the study…….”
Ryle was silent for a moment at his short words. Then, suddenly, he lifted Hae-jin up. Hae-jin, who naturally buried his face in Ryle’s arms, frowned in bewilderment at this familiar posture.
Before he could say anything, the two of them arrived at the study. The hallway, which had been so long and cold, ended so easily.
“…….”
Ryle sat Hae-jin down on the sofa with a very familiar movement. As soon as his body was buried in the soft cushions, he carefully wrapped him in a blanket that was next to him. Meanwhile, he pulled over a stool from the other side and put Hae-jin’s legs on it. His legs, which had been numb all the time, were now complaining of pain as they became more comfortable.
Hae-jin couldn’t help but relax his body at the warm feeling. Ryle, who had been watching him for a while, moved his body toward the bookshelf this time. He didn’t say anything, but Ryle came back without hesitation, holding the fairy tale book that Hae-jin used to read.
As he dazedly accepted it, Ryle pushed his large body between the sofa and Hae-jin this time.
“……It’s uncomfortable.”
Now that he didn’t feel any pain, there was no way he could be comfortable in the position of being hugged from behind, as if he was being fed. Even though he pointed out the fact without hesitation, Ryle was adamant. Only after he had crammed Hae-jin into his arms did he lower his head again. This time, the head touching his shoulder was quite heavy.
“Please.”
His shoulder was ringing with the muffled voice. Hae-jin noticed that Ryle’s hands, which were still holding him, were trembling slightly.
“…….”
In the end, he sighed softly and picked up the book on his lap. He still felt a little chilly, so he couldn’t help it.
And in fact, Ryle’s arms were more cozy than sitting alone.
After being sick for a long time, it felt like something had been burned to a crisp and turned to ashes. It wasn’t his body that he was trying to burn with anger, but somehow it had turned out like this. The thoughts floating around in his head were still hazy, though.
Fortunately, Ryle didn’t act recklessly after leaving the study. It was just as if he was very surprised that Hae-jin had disappeared again when he opened his eyes.
However, one thing had definitely changed.
“Are your socks too tight?”
Ryle asked as he put on fluffy socks that came up to his ankles. It was even familiar to see him kneeling under the bed and carefully caressing Hae-jin’s feet.
He felt like the pain in his ankles was subsiding as he put on the cozy socks. Hae-jin couldn’t help but shake his head lightly to mean that he was okay.
Then Ryle, who had given him a weak smile, brought an outer garment this time and started to put it on him. It was uncomfortable as well.
“Don’t do this.”
“……I want to do it.”
Ryle treated Hae-jin like a plant that would wither and die in its seat if he didn’t take care of him directly. It was as if he had uprooted him from the frozen lake and moved him to a pot in the mansion.
He narrowed his eyes and just watched what Ryle was doing for the time being. Ryle had been taking care of Hae-jin himself while he was sick. Thanks to that, he was just bewildered by this familiar touch.
As he watched him skillfully pick out clothes and put them on him, he realized that Ryle had also been putting the clothes he would wear that day in the dressing room. It was possible that Mark had given them to him from outside, but after Hae-jin woke up, he didn’t allow anyone to enter the drawing room connected to the bedroom. It was as if someone would steal Hae-jin away.
What exactly is imprinting that makes you do this much?
“What exactly is imprinting?”
“…….”
Ryle’s hands, which had been delicately arranging Hae-jin’s collar, stopped abruptly. His pheromone, which was starting to get nervous, calmly sank to the floor. Then, he erased the traces as if he was barely managing to control his agitation. Hae-jin clearly captured the trajectory of Ryle managing his pheromone in his eyes.
“I’ll organize the data and bring it to you soon. Preferably data published in books.”
“Why?”
“……Because it’ll be easier to believe.”
Hae-jin just nodded because it made sense. Ryle, who had paused for a moment, brought water from one side and handed it to Hae-jin. He wasn’t that thirsty, but once he held the glass in his hand, he wanted to drink it again.
Ryle smiled bitterly as he watched him slowly drink the water. Then he added a word.
“But one thing is for sure. I will never be able to hurt you forever. So rest assured.”
It was as if Hae-jin had been afraid of Ryle and had avoided him until now. Hae-jin, who had unconsciously agreed with that assumption, frowned in bewilderment.
Since when had fear felt so distant?
Rather, fear was flowing out of Ryle. Even right now. The pheromones that escaped from his body from time to time, as if in a fit, all circled around Hae-jin with such deep fear.
“…….”
Ryle silently accepted the empty glass of water that Hae-jin had emptied. That natural action strangely caught his eye.
He had missed the timing for something. The anger that he had barely pulled up from the lake was wandering again, having lost its way. It was even more so because he had been sick in bed for more than a week after returning here.
Before he could let go of the warmth that came to him like a sick child, Ryle had permeated him even more. He even held a full excuse that he couldn’t help it.
Thanks to that, Hae-jin was uncomfortable with this strange situation. He couldn’t just let it go as if nothing had happened. The resentment that had accumulated over the years was not so faint that it could be passed over so naturally.
However, there was one big problem. How was he supposed to be angry?
This wasn’t the first time Hae-jin had missed the timing. The first time the servants treated him rudely, the first time the meals specified in the contract didn’t come out on time. The first time Ryle said harsh words to him.
In all those moments, Hae-jin had missed the timing to get angry. Thanks to that, the box in his chest, which he had been holding down, had burst open, but he had lost his way in trying to figure out where and how to gather them.
Until the moment Ryle left the room, saying that he would go to the drawing room to work for a while, Hae-jin had to keep tracing the traces of his emotions.
* * *
With the sound of the door closing with a click, Ryle wiped his face. It was hard to hide his still trembling hands. But for now, he couldn’t let Hae-jin be touched by anyone else.
Hae-jin’s physical condition was terrible again because he had wandered through the snow for a long time with his injured leg.
Watching Hae-jin writhe in agony with a high fever for a week, Ryle even felt like he was spending the night in a huge fire pit. He almost strangled the doctor when he said that there was no way to help him right now, even if he went to the hospital. Ryle couldn’t take his eyes off him for a moment, fearing that he would put his strength into the IV that was stuck in his arm again.
Moreover, Hae-jin had a weak stomach, so he couldn’t digest the medicine properly. It was only natural that it had become a chronic problem since he had been eating irregularly for a long time and had a lot of stress. The problem that hadn’t been revealed when he was paying attention to his diet with all his heart was revealed when the balance of his body was broken.
Ryle desperately grabbed Hae-jin and poured food into his mouth. Even in the midst of his unconsciousness, his body’s rejection made his mouth dry. He felt like his intestines were being cut off when his feverish body struggled.
Even if he managed to feed him well after begging, he would definitely vomit if he lay down right away. So he walked around the room with Hae-jin in his arms for more than thirty minutes several times a day. So that there would be as little burden on his stomach as possible.
So Ryle hardly slept during the week that Hae-jin was sick. Insomnia had become a habit after he became aware of his feelings for him, but it was the first time he had stayed awake for so long.
He was afraid that Hae-jin would disappear again if he took his eyes off him for a moment.
Even his monstrous stamina as a Dominant Alpha had reached its limit. He endured and endured, and when he started to breathe evenly, his tension was released. Ryle fell asleep without being able to hold on. But when he opened his eyes, the side was empty again.
Ryle, thinking about the horror of that moment, buried himself in the sofa as if he was collapsing. He still felt like his heart, which had dropped at that moment, was half crushed.
“…….”
Ryle, with bloodshot eyes, picked up his cell phone and sent instructions outside, and then fell into thought again. He had put in so much effort, but in the end, there was a gap.
He thought he was desperately taking care of everything for Hae-jin. But that’s how things turned out because he was just trying to get rid of the annoying Alpha from the mansion. So he couldn’t leave Hae-jin’s side for a moment. Ryle had been taking time out to work in the drawing room since the day he brought Hae-jin back.
And there was another reason why he couldn’t take his eyes off him for a moment.
“…….”
Fear soared as he recalled Hae-jin’s steps, which had been resolutely walking forward. Ryle, covering his mouth, couldn’t stop the pheromones filled with fear from flowing out.
The drawing room, as well as all the surrounding rooms, were in a very incomplete state. This was because Ryle had ordered all the things that could be dangerous in the room to be removed. Hae-jin might not remember, but all the cleaning was finished, including the bedroom they were using now, while he was unconscious.
Everything from the bathroom mirror to the water glass was replaced with non-glass items. All the ties were removed and the windows were made so that they couldn’t be opened at all.
But even if he touched it and touched it again, he was just anxious. He had already put in so much effort, but hadn’t he lost Hae-jin?
There would definitely be no next chance.
While Ryle was in endless despair, the bell rang outside. He was guarding all sides so that no one could come near him now.
“Come in.”
“Here are the documents you need to review. Also, we’ve arranged it to look like you have an urgent business trip externally.”
“Good job.”
Barely straightening his back, Ryle took the documents. Of course, him being holed up in the mansion caused many problems.
However, after finishing the urgent decision-making, Ryle had to issue the most pressing order.
“Find a psychiatrist.”
“……Are you planning to change Chairman’s personal doctor?”
Due to an accident in his childhood, he already had a psychiatrist attached to him. However, Ryle shook his head firmly. Unfortunately, the best specialist in that field was an Alpha.
“No, Hae-jin will receive treatment. So, find someone who isn’t an Alpha.”
Even while handling this work, his mind was entirely focused on the bedroom behind him. He couldn’t understand Hae-jin at all. When he was slapping his cheeks and getting angry, it was better, but after he was hurt and woke up, he was too strange.
Why is he letting me be like this? Ryle was both pleased and scared by the slightly more comfortable way he spoke.
“Yes. And the issue with the bribed guards has been resolved as you instructed.”
But he couldn’t hide this dark obsession any longer. Expressing this desperation that he had been suppressing was the best he could do.
The guards who were bribed with mere money would pay a fair price. And, Daniel, who dared to pour insults on Hae-jin, as well.
It was all his fault for only half-heartedly stepping on those around him. He should have just removed them all from his sight.
A fierce energy poured out from his bloodshot eyes.
Only after barely calming down his rampaging pheromones could Ryle return to Hae-jin. However, as soon as he rang the bell and opened the bedroom door, he saw Hae-jin standing by the window.
“……Hae-jin.”
He tried his best to appear calm, but by the time he reached Hae-jin, his pace was no different from running.
“You can’t be by the window, ……like this, this close.”
“It doesn’t open anyway.”
“……No.”
He knew that he just wanted to ventilate because he felt stuffy. Even so, Ryle couldn’t bear to see Hae-jin near the window. The hand that carefully embraced him eventually trembled terribly.
He clearly remembered the day the injured Hae-jin disappeared from the guest room on the first floor. The fact that Hae-jin’s pheromones naturally led to the window.
There was a reason for that movement. It was very painful even to imagine what would have happened if he had laid him down on the second floor as usual back then.
Even though it was an unreasonable act, Hae-jin readily returned to the bed as he led him. Ryle easily felt fear in every hesitant step he took. It wasn’t just that his pheromones had transferred to his body like before. It was his own fear, squeezed out of every cell.
“Do I have to stay in this room all the time?”
They had been in Ryle’s bedroom all along. Of course, Hae-jin still felt a hot forehead even with the slightest movement. His throbbing legs also became hot and then numb, repeating the process. And a stinging sensation had been added a little while ago.
Feeling suffocated, Hae-jin unconsciously tried to open the window. He was a little embarrassed to see that it was locked.
Was he finally being imprisoned?
“If you like the other bedroom better, you can move there. It’s ready. If you like another place other than this mansion, that’s fine too. If you give me a little time, I’ll prepare it.”
However, Ryle calmly denied Hae-jin’s suspicions. At the same time, he piled cushions near his waist so that he could sit comfortably, and he also placed something soft behind the knee of his injured leg. It was a natural act of care, like flowing water.
Looking at that touch, he could clearly see one thing. Hae-jin could go anywhere freely. However, Ryle would always be by his side like this.
“…….”
He felt ambiguous and frowned again in embarrassment. He still felt suffocated, and he occasionally felt a strange impulse when he saw Ryle.
On the other hand, this warm touch was very familiar. Even the scent of fabric softener from the cozy bedding that wrapped around him felt warm.
Even though it was so cloudy outside.
“Why are you working here uncomfortably? What about going to work?”
“…….”
His head was spinning from the surging sensation. He wanted to take some time alone to look into his inner self, but Ryle never left his side. Even while naturally leaning on his gentle touch, Hae-jin continued to feel confused.
So he asked lightly. Then Ryle, who was covering him with a blanket, stopped abruptly. He took a deep breath for a moment and slowly raised his head. Their eyes met directly.
“If I go to work, what will you do?”
His blue eyes were fixed on him, covered with fatigue. The gaze, gleaming with some strange emotion, looked like a madman. So Hae-jin began to feel even more confused about his condition.
Because he wasn’t afraid of Ryle in front of him at all.
Because his pheromones were so desperately reaching out to Hae-jin.
“Ryle.”
He called his name unconsciously. The word that passed over his tongue was so unfamiliar that it gave him goosebumps. As he caressed that rough texture, one thing became clear. Hae-jin would no longer call him Mr. Vermouth.
“Yeah.”
Ryle, who answered him so calmly and docilely, was too strange. Even with those eyes that looked like he wanted to capture and imprison Hae-jin right away, that hand that gently covered him with a blanket in the end.
“My ankle hurts.”
“Yeah.”
The words that popped out were very absurd. It was true that his stinging ankle had been bothering him for a while, but now wasn’t the time to say it.
But that seemed to be the right answer, as Ryle immediately lowered his fiercely glowing eyes and moved to the bottom of the bed. Then he carefully massaged Hae-jin’s injured ankle. The number of times he had recently touched it was far greater than the number of times Hae-jin had massaged his own ankle in his entire life.
Barely organizing his confused mind, Hae-jin remembered what he needed most now. He still needed a way to solve this stuffiness.
For several days, Hae-jin mostly just idled away his time blankly. Still, the fact that he sometimes felt a surge of stuffiness was a change, if anything. It was because Ryle literally never took his eyes off him.
He calmly dug into Hae-jin’s daily life as if he had been doing this all along. It didn’t matter when he was sick and unconscious, but it was too much of a burden when he was wide awake.
Moreover, if Hae-jin had even a slight fever, Ryle acted like he was about to be hanged. He wouldn’t even let him leave the vicinity of the bed, making his whole body feel like soft cotton.
Sometimes that cotton was soaked with rain.
“Let me down.”
“No.”
“…….”
On the way back to the room from the dining room, Ryle steadfastly walked with Hae-jin in his arms. Hae-jin frowned, and he could feel the body in contact with him stiffening. But Ryle didn’t give up and didn’t let him go.
He shouldn’t have said his ankle hurt out of the blue. Since that day, his ankle hadn’t hurt. Because he hadn’t been able to walk on his own two legs even once. Ryle was so extreme, as if his legs would break the moment they touched the ground.
Eventually, after putting Hae-jin on the bed, he carefully took his temperature this time. The thermometer showed a temperature closer to normal than yesterday.
Hae-jin, who had been staring at it with him, sighed faintly. At that moment, Ryle’s pheromones poured out like a flood and then disappeared again.
It was an amazing pheromone control, no matter how many times he saw it. Even if he tried to imitate it, he wouldn’t be able to. A Dominant is a Dominant, Hae-jin thought blankly.
It was a day when his stomach didn’t feel uncomfortable even after eating a meal for the first time in a while. Hae-jin had recovered a lot of his damaged stomach thanks to the incredibly managed diet. His legs still seemed to hurt, but Ryle explained that preserving his strength was the first priority.
Anyway, he felt drowsy after eating. He seemed to have a slight surge of energy even though he didn’t have a fever, and it was a day when he felt motivated for the first time in a while. So he should take a bath.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to take a bath.”
His pheromones brushed past the tip of his nose again and then disappeared. Ryle sometimes acted like someone who had trouble controlling his pheromones. Come to think of it, hadn’t it been a while since he had naturally felt his pheromones?
“I’ll prepare it, so please wait a moment.”
“I’ll do it myself.”
“……Your legs are unstable, so no.”
His eyes began to shake slightly. He was making excuses about his legs, but it was as if Hae-jin had declared that he was going to drown in the bathwater right away.
It was really difficult and difficult.
Hae-jin couldn’t stop another faint sigh from escaping. He could see Ryle’s body stiffening. He didn’t know how to deal with the suffocating feeling that occasionally tore at his heart.
“Do as you please.”
“Yeah.”
As soon as the words were spoken, his body was lifted up again. Ryle’s actions of carrying him around like a doll were very natural. As if he had been doing this all his life.
By the way, he told him to wait, so why suddenly.
As he was watching in bewilderment, Ryle took him to the bathroom with the bathtub. There was a soft sofa that he had left there to wipe Hae-jin’s legs. He nonchalantly sat Hae-jin there and soon began to fill the bathtub with water.
“…….”
Listening to the sound of the water, Hae-jin quietly hugged his knees. The aftermath of being caught going to the lake seemed to be lasting quite a while.
Hae-jin clearly remembered his steps that he had taken without hesitation. He also knew that the organization he had done so far had that meaning. If he went back to that place right now, he was sure that he wouldn’t move forward.
As he was lost in thought in the steamy bathroom, he felt like he had returned to that snowy day. The slight motivation that had sprung up had quickly disappeared. Recently, his mood had been fluctuating extremely.
Sometimes he wanted to break the window right away because of this stuffiness. But sometimes he didn’t want to do anything, no matter what Ryle did.
Ryle approached Hae-jin, who had suddenly become limp. He seemed to be carefully watching him, then carefully stretched out Hae-jin’s body and stretched it out on the chair. Hae-jin obediently stretched out his body and leaned back as if he were a doll.
Ryle’s fingertips, touching the buttons of his pajamas, were trembling slightly.
“…….”
“…….”
He thought he was just helping with the preparations, but it was a very delicate action. Even with the intermittent memories, he knew that Ryle had personally wiped his sick body several times.
What the hell was imprinting that he could do this much? As he watched Ryle kneeling in front of him and taking off his clothes, he thought fleetingly.
He said he would prepare information about imprinting, but that was postponed until Hae-jin recovered a little. Ryle didn’t forget to explain in detail that he wasn’t trying to hide the information, but just postponing it because he was afraid it would be burdensome.
In a close distance where they could feel each other’s breath, Hae-jin blankly focused only on Ryle’s fingertips. As the buttons were unbuttoned one by one, he could feel the damp air touching his bare skin.
Hae-jin, who had been indifferently looking at the clothes that were loosened and exposed, turned his gaze to Ryle’s face this time. His golden eyelashes, which were lowered, came into view first. The scene where snowflakes were gathering like tears in that place also invaded his memory.
“Aren’t you cold?”
“No.”
Ryle’s fingertips, having unbuttoned all the buttons, hesitated a little and then began to take off Hae-jin’s pants this time. His touch became awkward as if he found it strange that Hae-jin was just standing still.
Strangely, he didn’t feel like stopping him. Hae-jin was just looking at Ryle’s hair, which reflected the light softly, as if he was trying to guess something. A few strands of his blonde hair, slightly wet from the humid air, were flowing down.
As the pants with the banding waist came down, his thighs, which had recently become more unsightly, were revealed. There was a scar on his left calf where the car door had torn it. It was so quiet that he could hear the sound of the fabric falling to the floor. Ryle, who had been holding his feet with both hands, wondering if he had habitually touched Hae-jin’s ankle, reached out again. His underwear was also lowered without resistance.
Only after taking off all his clothes did his blue eyes look up again.
Clearly, he hadn’t said anything, but Ryle looked at Hae-jin’s face for a long time as if he was seeking an answer. As he didn’t avoid his gaze, pheromones intertwined in the air for a long time. He was defenseless and naked, but he didn’t feel any urgency.
Looking at Ryle’s Adam’s apple, which was heaving greatly, Hae-jin recalled that it had been a long time since he had shown him his naked body. Except for when he was lying sick and unconscious.
He looked down at Ryle like that for a long time as if he was testing him, but the violent actions he had experienced before were nowhere to be found. It was a strange thing.
Even though his pheromones were so clearly showing what he wanted.
“……I’ll move you to the bathtub.”
“Yes.”
Ryle’s touch, which had become even more careful than before, lifted Hae-jin up. He flinched slightly at the hot palms touching his bare skin. This time, Ryle’s throat, swallowing hard, came into view clearly. After being held, he was in a position where he was exposing everything, but it wasn’t like they were in a relationship where they should be shy now.
While Hae-jin was making a face that said he didn’t know when the time between them had become so long, warm water touched his skin. As he sank into the bathtub, the sound of water pouring down awakened his mind. Ryle even brought a chair and sat next to him.
“Are you going to keep doing that there?”
“Yeah.”
Hae-jin just shrugged his shoulders once and chose to lean back in the bathtub for a long time. He had never imagined that Ryle would take care of his bath, and it was very unreal.
Bath salts were dissolved in the bathtub. It was the very scent that he always used when he reluctantly wasted water like this at Mark’s recommendation. He thought that Ryle’s indifference was still somewhat present, but he must have been mistaken. The fact that Ryle was interested in everything he ate and wore in this mansion was quite unexpected even now that he had heard about the imprinting.
“……This.”
Then Ryle rummaged through one side of the bathroom and brought something the size of his palm and floated it in front of Hae-jin. It was a yellow duck that was also hung on the Christmas tree.
“…….”
It was an action that would make even Hae-jin, who had been lying down, unconsciously sit up. It wasn’t like he was treating him like a child, so what was this?
But his hand strangely reached out to the duck. He didn’t even think about touching it when Mark showed it to him, but the texture of the rubber duck that filled his palm was amazing. The face of the duck that was being squished and squashed seemed to be smiling brightly.
Suddenly, he realized that his palm was frantically caressing the duck as if he was possessed.
“……Should I bring you a few more?”
“Do you think I’m a child?”
“…….”
Only after speaking bluntly did Hae-jin stop his hand. He slightly lowered his head and looked at Ryle’s face reflected in the light pink water.
“Don’t be surprised when you hear this.”
“Yes.”
As if he wanted to change the atmosphere, Ryle opened his mouth again. Hae-jin was able to nod calmly even at the sudden preface. It didn’t seem like there would be anything more surprising than the news of his imprinting.
Since he had already touched it, Hae-jin held the duck with both hands and leaned back in the bathtub again for a long time.
“Soon, I’d like you to go to the hospital. You need to get your leg checked again too.”
“Yes.”
He had a strange feeling that he had gained after getting his leg checked several times. He would probably hear the doctor’s nagging to be careful this time too. He might even have to wear a cast again.
“……And I’d like you to get psychiatric counseling.”
This time, he couldn’t easily give a careless answer. He pressed and pressed the duck in his hand, lost in thought. Ryle didn’t urge him and scooped up some water and sprinkled it on Hae-jin’s shoulder. The intermittent warmth patted Hae-jin’s shoulder, which was constantly trying to shrink.
The duck’s black eyes repeatedly opened and closed. The most intense emotion he had felt while he was sick came to mind.
Was he supposed to live on?
The suffocating feeling was still there. He wondered if he should just stay in this mansion like this, entrusting his whole body to Ryle. Could he endure keeping him by his side like this forever? He needed a way, but could he find it if he went to the hospital?
His heart hurt like his leg, so should he go to the hospital?
“Yes.”
After a long silence, Hae-jin tossed out another reply. As if that was enough, Ryle wordlessly continued to pour hot water over Hae-jin’s shoulders.
The bathwater, sliding down his body, scattered, leaving behind the scent of the bath salts it contained. He had been using it because he liked the scent so much, even though he didn’t particularly care for the pink color the water turned.
Then, suddenly, he realized that the scent of these bath salts was a little similar to Ryle’s pheromone.
Looking at the cast on his leg, Hae-jin quietly wiggled his leg. Only after confirming that it wouldn’t move as he wished did he sigh.
“Hoo…”
In the end, he had to wear this heavy cast again. He was already feeling the stuffiness, which was troubling. As soon as he recalled how difficult it was to wash, his body stiffened. It was obvious that Ryle would never back down this time, making it even more difficult.
“This way, Mr. Bright.”
“Yes.”
“Chairman will quickly take care of business and return.”
“……Yes.”
Even though he didn’t ask, Ryle’s Secretary told him the schedule. It seemed he really intended to go to headquarters, deal with urgent matters, and come right back. But why did he leave the Secretary here?
“Would you like to use a wheelchair?”
“It’s okay, Mark.”
Mark also stuck to the schedule. Hae-jin was afraid that he would forget how to walk if things continued like this, so he chose to walk uncomfortably with crutches.
Even though they were in the same mansion, Hae-jin hadn’t seen Mark’s face in a very long time. Unless it was absolutely necessary, Ryle prevented people from coming and going near Hae-jin at all.
He was suddenly worried that Ryle was planning to isolate him from the world. But when he recalled Ryle’s pheromone, which made him whimper pitifully on the floor at the slightest frown, his worries were quickly forgotten. Hae-jin was gradually realizing how frightening imprinting was.
After spending such precarious, in-between time, he finally arrived at the hospital. As expected, his leg was a mess. Walking on the cold snow for so long seemed to have been fatal. Perhaps because it was the first time in so long that he had left the bed, he had no time to feel scared, even though it was a hospital.
And now, only the psychiatric counseling remained.
“Are you really going to be okay? I recommended him because he’s the best in this field, but I’m also looking into other doctors.”
“It’s okay.”
He heard that the doctor he was supposed to meet was an Alpha. Hae-jin had a vague sense of rejection, but he figured there must be a reason why Ryle or the Secretary were recommending him, so he just nodded. Fortunately, the doctor, considering the patient’s reluctance, said he would take a suppressant before counseling him.
Thanks to that, Ryle, who had brought him here, couldn’t hide his anxiety until the very end before leaving for the company. He said he was worried about letting him meet an Alpha. But in reality, he was anxious about being away from his side, which could be felt from the pheromones that leaked out.
“Then hold this tightly in your hand during the counseling.”
“What is this?”
“It’s a portable pager. If you just press it in an emergency, the bodyguard waiting outside will rush into the counseling room.”
“……”
Following the Secretary’s guidance, the bodyguards who had been following him all bowed their heads at once. Hae-jin awkwardly returned the greeting, subtly pursing his lips.
Ryle had explained that he had assigned a personal bodyguard to Hae-jin after one of the mansion’s guards had been bribed. Thanks to that, he even felt like he was wearing several expensive necklaces that didn’t fit him.
“Young Master is very worried. So are the people at the mansion.”
As they approached the counseling room, Mark spoke with a worried look, showing the wrinkles around his eyes. Hae-jin felt a ticklish sensation in his ear at the word “worried,” so he unconsciously touched his earlobe.
“So, get good counseling and come out.”
“Yes.”
Even though they were only waiting outside the door, those who had come with him acted as if he was going far away. Hae-jin could only nod awkwardly, holding the pager the Secretary had given him tightly in his hand.
He thought that even when his parents had taken him to the emergency room in the middle of the night with the flu, he hadn’t received such a fuss. With that thought, he opened the door to the counseling room.
The moment he faced the doctor sitting on the sofa in neat clothes, Hae-jin could fully feel the sentiments of the people behind him. The step he took into the counseling room was quite different from the step he had taken forward in the lake.
He had a strong feeling that something was about to change.
“How dare you do this!”
“How noisy.”
Even with Daniel, who was jumping up and down in front of him, Ryle was calm. He had deliberately not bothered to look for Daniel after he had left the mansion. He knew that Daniel would desperately come running out on his own.
“How did you get rid of all the relatives! How dare you!”
“How dare I?”
“Eek…!”
That didn’t mean he was going to listen to this nonsense for long. The reason he had allowed Daniel to come all the way up here today was none other than to trample on him right before his eyes.
As he released his fierce pheromones without restraint, Daniel’s face quickly turned as if he couldn’t breathe. A ferocious desire to crush and burst him shook Ryle.
This morning, he had acquired a majority of the company’s shares. Until now, the structure was such that the combined shares of the relatives and Ryle were required to reach a majority for the sake of checks and balances.
If he rashly tried to increase his shares, fierce checks would come in. The shareholders who wanted to extend their influence to Vermouth wouldn’t easily give it up. Still, Ryle boldly executed the plan he had been preparing carefully for a long time.
“Ugh.”
After that, as soon as he got to work, he sent out orders to dismiss all the relatives who were just occupying positions. It would take some time, but his will would eventually be carried out.
His revenge was not limited to this. He felt he would only be satisfied when he made the guys who had been living with their noses in the air crawl on the floor.
Because they had made Hae-jin go all the way to the lake with that painful leg.
“How dare I? Uncle. Who do you think is the owner of Vermouth?”
The Vermouth family council was not originally such a powerful gathering. It was nothing more than a group of people who attached themselves to the head of the family with appropriate excuses. But if they dared to covet the head, shouldn’t they be eradicated?
By now, Daniel and the others holding key positions would have received summons from the police. Ryle had been digging up their crimes and corruption for a long time. He had thoroughly discussed the matter with the police so that it wouldn’t be easily covered up.
Originally, he hadn’t intended to uproot them to this extent. He had just been slowly gathering things to use in a power struggle.
But when Hae-jin spoke so sadly while suffering, he couldn’t bear it.
‘I, I’m… not an orphan, sniff… .’
Hae-jin repeated these words sadly, unable to even shed tears because of the fever. Ryle had a feeling that something was making his hair stand on end, so he analyzed the video of Daniel facing Hae-jin over and over again. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a CCTV with audio recording, so he had to get the cooperation of a police official. As a result of analyzing the guy’s dirty mouth shape, he could roughly guess the insults he had inflicted on Hae-jin.
Could that have been stuck in his heart? Enough to run to the lake at once to find his family.
After realizing that, he couldn’t control this immense anger. Despite the Secretary’s dissuasion, Ryle decided to gather all the power he had been preparing and get rid of the relatives. And he intended to take even more revenge on Daniel, who still didn’t understand his place.
“No, I can’t even call you Uncle anymore.”
“What, what…?”
“You’ll be hearing from the family council soon. You shouldn’t have been so reckless with your words.”
The family council would continue to exist in name only. Most of the conspirators would receive due punishment, but something necessary remained.
Because it was rooted in a noble family, the Vermouth family had a decent legal procedure left. It was a family law that allowed those who smeared the name of Vermouth to be legally expelled.
He might not be able to do anything about the family register created after the transition to the modern era. But the important thing was that it was a great way to break down the ridiculous pride that Daniel had carried his whole life.
“Me, me, what the hell…”
“His name is Bright.”
“……What?”
“I’m saying you shouldn’t say nonsense like he’s an orphan or doesn’t know his roots. In return, I’ll take away the Vermouth roots that you like so much.”
Daniel, who had been furious at the sudden words, rolled his pig-like eyes. And then, he realized where all this came from, and he trembled with anger, shaking his jowls.
“You, you…! Because of that inferior gene, you’re doing this now…!”
Ryle couldn’t bear the way he dared to insult Hae-jin again. The thought of wanting to strangle him for real was expressed through his pheromones.
As if the pressure he had been suppressing until now was a lie, Daniel clutched at his chest and slowly fell to the floor. He had never used his pheromones so excessively. The power of the Dominant gene could do so much more than expected. It was as if it were a battle for dominance among animals. Ryle no longer hesitated to use his traits to his heart’s content.
He walked up to Daniel, who had fallen to the floor, and slightly bent over. Fear was evident in Daniel’s eyes as he looked at his bright blue eyes.
Looking at that, Ryle whispered softly, so quietly that even the secretaries watching the commotion outside couldn’t hear.
“My father’s mistress, I mean. The one who dared to pour pheromones on me.”
“Cough, cough…”
The eyes that had only been filled with fear widened in shock. Watching that, Ryle felt the rational suspicion he had been holding onto being resolved.
His mother had held so much power, so how could that Omega have dared to touch Ryle?
The answer was here. The person who had been instigating him by attaching a mistress to his father in the first place.
“Did you think I wouldn’t know?”
“Plea, please…”
Daniel didn’t know that Ryle suffered from deep-rooted headaches because of that incident. However, he must have known that he had suffered mental anguish because of that mistress. Because it was Daniel who had lost his parents and directly acted as his guardian.
Ryle coldly looked down at the guy’s face, whose eyes were slowly turning over, and finally spat out resolutely. He would never see his uncle’s face, which had fallen to the bottom, again.
“Don’t ever touch Hae-jin again.”
For fear that even a small breeze would reach him, Ryle decided to pull out everything around him, leaving not a single blade of grass.
His bright blue eyes flickered with a strange madness.
“How was the counseling?”
“Um…”
Ryle was examining Hae-jin’s cast as soon as he arrived. It had only been a few hours since they had been apart, but he had urgently returned to the mansion and looked for Hae-jin. Not only was he not satisfied with hearing the detailed results of the treatment from Mark, but he was also impatient because he couldn’t examine his leg himself.
Hae-jin inadvertently thought that it might be more beneficial for Ryle if his leg was permanently damaged. Then he would have no choice but to not run away.
However, instead of uttering that question, he took a deep breath and chose his words. In fact, he hadn’t done anything special during the counseling.
“I don’t know.”
He had frantically filled out several questionnaires. Then the doctor didn’t ask for much. He even told Hae-jin that he could lie down comfortably for a long time.
And then he just said to say anything he wanted to say today. Of course, Hae-jin was embarrassed and had to come back without saying much.
If there was any gain, it was that he had received a prescription for medicine.
“It’s always like that at first.”
Ryle spoke as if he had also received treatment. Instead of asking sensitive questions, Hae-jin chose silence. He would have to receive psychiatric treatment for the time being. Even knowing that, Hae-jin was just wondering if he was doing well now.
“It’ll be uncomfortable to move around, so I’ll have to call the doctor here for the time being. How about it?”
“Yes.”
The thought of wearing a cast and going all the way to that distant hospital made him feel dizzy. Hae-jin, who had reflexively nodded, was strangely caught up in a strange feeling because he seemed to be recognizing this place as his real home.
“And this is the data I told you about a while ago.”
After a brief consultation with the doctor, he received the opinion that it would be good to let Hae-jin know exactly what situation he was in. Thanks to that, Ryle handed him the data on imprinting that he had been preparing for a long time.
The doctor he had assigned to Hae-jin was definitely skilled. However, the fact that he was an Alpha kept bothering him. He was trying not to make excuses for him anymore. He simply couldn’t stand having an Alpha near Hae-jin.
However, the Secretary advised that it was reasonable to assign the best doctor in this field because it was an urgent situation. Because he had heard about Hae-jin’s situation to some extent.
So Ryle decided to endure his anxiety. He wanted to change the way he was like a doll without any motivation as soon as possible. It was Ryle himself who had taken away that desire. So he was willing to do anything if he could get it back.
Hae-jin obediently accepted the documents he handed over. Ryle was afraid that he would cover them up without reading them all, like the contract he had received before.
But while hesitating, he carefully picked up the paper and began to read it.
Ryle, who was half relieved and half anxious, sent an order outside. It seemed like it would take a long time, so he was going to prepare some simple refreshments.
“Then let’s stop here for today.”
“Ah…”
Hae-jin, who had been stammering out family stories for a while, nodded with a sigh of relief. As if he knew what that feeling was, the doctor smiled faintly and organized the documents.
What Hae-jin felt the most during the counseling was that he was empty.
When he was suddenly asked what he had done or what he wanted to do, he couldn’t think of anything. Until now, he only had things he had to do, so he didn’t have the opportunity to think about what he wanted to do. It was as if his brain had been stepped on and flattened.
So he still couldn’t get used to the counseling, even though it had been going on for several times. He also had doubts about whether anything would be solved by doing this in the first place.
Still, he was able to pour out his story awkwardly, ironically thanks to Ryle. The habit of rambling while taking a pheromone shower was helpful in this way.
Just as he was thinking about him, the bell rang. Thanks to the faint pheromone that revealed his presence, he could tell that Ryle was outside.
“Hae-jin. I came to pick you up.”
He had only been in the main building and came to the outer building, but he always said that and waited for Hae-jin’s counseling to end. Moreover, he always failed to control his pheromones and revealed them like that only when the counseling was over.
He could hear the doctor groaning next to him. He hadn’t felt it because he came after taking a suppressant every time, but he said he was an Alpha.
“……I can go alone.”
“I know.”
Saying that, Ryle naturally picked him up. He had been arguing several times in the meantime, but he seemed to have no intention of stopping this until Hae-jin took off the cast. In the end, Hae-jin had to make a slight resistance by obediently drooping his arms.
But once he was in his arms, he found himself settling in too comfortably.
“……”
This was a subtle feeling like a steel ball. It was like grabbing something that didn’t know where it would fall and running outside in the rain.
The doctor’s most frequent advice during counseling was to express any emotion honestly.
But when he looked at Ryle, so many things came to mind that he didn’t know what to say.
The sound of coughing echoed through the greenhouse. Ryle, who was watching Hae-jin like that from the side, couldn’t bear it and put another blanket around his shoulders.
“It’s stuffy.”
“……Just wait a little. Have some tea too.”
He was getting restless just being in the room. It was even more so because he was eating regularly every day. He couldn’t stand it and said he had to go to the greenhouse, and Ryle followed him as if it were natural.
But as soon as he left the warm room, he suddenly started coughing. Hae-jin realized that his body was not the same as before.
Thanks to that, Ryle took care of him with eyes that looked like he was about to go crazy. He had hot tea brought out and brought blankets enough to camp here.
He had been urged to return to his room several times, but today the stuffiness felt particularly intense. He had vowed never to do it again, but it was as if he had been suppressing something all along.
“Hae-jin. Go to your room, and later…”
“Later when?”
“…When I feel better.”
A sudden, petulant dissatisfaction welled up at those words.
He would never be able to walk around energetically again. The lingering cough that had latched onto him might visit him every winter. It was Hae-jin’s fault for wandering around without caring about his illness, but the sudden, rolling dissatisfaction only grew.
No, was it really Hae-jin’s fault?
“…I told them to bring grapefruit tea with a lot of honey. Drink it a little warmer, and then go inside.”
Then Ryle carefully offered him warm tea, placing it in his hand. It was grapefruit tea, cooled to a suitable temperature for Hae-jin, who couldn’t handle anything too hot, and something he occasionally enjoyed.
The considerate gesture from Ryle in his hand felt heavy. He knew it was cooled to a suitable temperature, but it felt like holding a small fire in his palm.
His breathing grew increasingly rough. Hae-jin hated this ticklish sensation. Ryle, who remembered every little detail and tried to cater to him, felt overwhelming. His body, dragged down against his will, always felt heavy and struggled to walk.
The cause of his stuffiness suddenly became clear.
“Hae-jin, is it hard to breathe? Your breathing sounds…”
Ryle, who knew as if by magic and worried whenever he breathed even slightly heavily, was irritating. Hae-jin, his sharp, edgy feelings reflected in his eyes, met those worried blue eyes.
Only after the stuffiness had reached its peak was he able to see the fragments of emotion scattered around him, one by one.
Why had he become like this? How had he ended up so sick?
The answer lay at the end of his gaze. Blue eyes, carefully watching Hae-jin with a hint of tension, trembled slightly. As if a few more lingering coughs were a major crisis.
Just like his life, which had collapsed one day against his will, his emotions burst out in an instant.
Hae-jin roughly threw the cup he was holding onto the floor. It was too hot and heavy, and his weak body simply couldn’t hold it.
He violently flung the warm blanket that weighed heavily on his shoulders to the floor as well. But even then, the stuffiness in his heart didn’t dissipate.
“It’s okay. So…”
It would be understandable if Ryle found him acting like a crazy person, but he calmly unfolded a spare blanket. It was ridiculous to say it was okay when it wasn’t.
“What’s okay?”
“…It’s okay to be angry. But keep your body warm.”
Only then did Hae-jin realize that he was finally getting angry.
He abruptly put strength into his legs and stood up. Ryle’s arms, which had been about to wrap around his shoulders again, moved away. He was even angrier because he couldn’t run out due to the cast.
He gathered this lost anger and directed it at Ryle, who kept telling him it was okay. As if he would not miss anything about Hae-jin and would embrace it all.
“You’re putting strain on your leg. You need to be careful.”
It was a painfully considerate remark. At this point, Hae-jin couldn’t figure out what he was even angrier about.
Was he angry that Ryle, who had hurt him so much, had even gone so far as to imprint on him? Or was he angry that he had imprinted on him and then made him sick again?
‘Go Ara-ji?’
Sorrow rushed in, naturally drawn to the most recent memory. Daniel’s blond hair, who had come all the way to this mansion, which he had unconsciously considered safe, and had insulted him in such a way, overlapped with Ryle.
He had been relieved by Ryle’s changed, considerate attitude. Before he knew it, he had begun to feel a sense of warmth in this mansion, which had only been terrible. He had become completely dependent on the kind attitudes of those around him.
And yet, something like that had happened again.
Hae-jin had become an orphan again. He had clearly had angelic parents, but they had disappeared. His relative, who didn’t even know the pain of being thrown away, had come and defined him in a single word.
That hurt so much.
Later, he had heard that it wasn’t Ryle’s intention. But did that matter? He was so angry.
“Why don’t you just, just… let me resent you?”
“….”
“You should have just let me hate you!”
It was at least easier when he could swallow his sorrow and have a clear target to resent. If Ryle had remained indifferent to the end, he wouldn’t have had to go through such complicated anguish.
He wouldn’t have had to worry every day about what was wrong, or wander around wondering who to shout at.
“Why won’t you leave me alone…”
His vision blurred. Even Ryle’s blond hair, which shone uniquely among the clear greenery of the greenhouse, blurred as if smudged.
And yet, Hae-jin couldn’t deny that Ryle was there. Even though his brightly shining figure was blurred, it pierced through his vision.
Just like the warmth that had always reached Hae-jin.
“I’m sorry.”
Ryle, who had slowly approached, wrapped a blanket around Hae-jin’s shoulders again. His slightly chilly shoulders were enveloped in warmth. The apology whispered in his ear resonated gently, like the day he had vowed to call him by his name properly.
Tears streamed down his face endlessly. Tears that he had tried so hard to shed, but couldn’t.
“It’s okay. Keep resenting me.”
He hesitated, then, feeling that this level of warmth wasn’t enough, carefully embraced Hae-jin. This moment, burying his face in Ryle’s shoulder, was so familiar that Hae-jin felt even more sorrowful.
For a long time, Hae-jin shed his sorrow in the forest-like greenhouse. The sorrow he had always kept bottled up inside.
He drank in Ryle’s kindness as if it were poison.
“…Is something the matter?”
The Secretary asked with a hesitant expression, looking at Ryle, who wore a faint smile. Even though he was smiling, the reason he didn’t ask if something good had happened was because he was flustered. Except for the corners of his mouth, Ryle’s eyes were staring down at the documents as if to kill them.
Moreover, he knew that Ryle had reluctantly left for work this morning because of Hae-jin’s demand that he please leave him alone.
Was the Chairman’s mind finally broken?
“Hae-jin got angry,” Ryle said.
“…I see.”
Ryle’s smile deepened at the Secretary’s confused reply. It even seemed like his eyes were slightly creasing, but was it just his imagination?
Despite the Secretary’s confusion, however, Ryle’s joy was genuine. Because Hae-jin had gotten angry at him.
Anger was better than indifference. Ryle knew that well, having experienced that indifferent attitude to the point of death. So how could he not be happy? It meant that the boy was regaining his emotions and had the composure to look around him again.
And it was proof that he had realized he could no longer simply ignore the things around him.
Hating someone took a lot of energy. So, until now, he had been in the mansion pretending to be there, pretending not to see, as if he didn’t exist. Just like how he had accepted Ryle’s touch without a word even immediately after being sick.
It had been worth it to take care of Hae-jin’s diet with a heart-wrenching feeling. Except for Hae-jin, most of the people in the mansion were losing weight due to Ryle’s fierce surveillance, but he didn’t care.
“…It would be nice if he got a little angrier,” Ryle said.
Seeing Ryle muttering like this, the Secretary finally frowned. He couldn’t shake off the impious thought that his employer had become a little more insane recently.
Why did I do that?
As the afternoon wore on, Hae-jin repeatedly regretted his actions while curled up in bed. It was a torment that had been going on for days.
Fortunately, Ryle was back at work after Hae-jin’s long refusal. He had finally secured some time to think alone. Of course, he was still getting calls all the time. Strangely, the more he got angry, the more considerate Ryle’s touch seemed to become, which was troubling.
Only after venting his anger for the first time did Hae-jin realize something was wrong. He couldn’t shake the feeling that the anger he had thrown out was somehow a little twisted.
In the end, wasn’t it the same as getting angry at Ryle for being so considerate?
After realizing this, a wave of bewilderment swept over him, making him want to grab his head. Not knowing the reason, the doctor had only reacted positively to the news that he had expressed his emotions. It felt as if he had blurted out a hidden feeling without even realizing it himself.
Could it be true?
In this mansion, warmth now resided in every place his hand could reach. This warmth, which he could easily grasp, was truly directed at him. It hadn’t been long since he had left long streaks of rain, thinking that he shouldn’t grasp it, and he was simply bewildered.
Ryle’s pheromone, which had been so blindly chasing him, was really after him.
Thinking about the affectionate pheromone Ryle had shown during his rut, his ears grew hot. It was as if it was being emitted nearby right now. Until now, he had thought of it as someone else’s business and had only felt uncomfortable, but thinking that he was the target made him feel bewildered. It felt different from his other pheromones, which had been strangely submissive.
A feeling of shame and something being out of place. Was this okay?
Thinking of his family, his heart, which had been pounding suddenly, calmed down. Especially when he thought of the moment when he hadn’t been able to be there at the end, the emotions that had been floating up would sink back down.
“Haa…”
Hae-jin, who had barely managed to wrap up his regrets for the day, picked up the paper he had been holding since earlier. The document that neatly summarized imprinting was difficult to read because of its content.
[Negative pheromones from the imprinted target also affect the mind and body. The danger of imprinting, where one sympathizes with the other person from the source of their emotions, is revealed here.
Each of the summarized contents had a footnote attached. And Ryle had kindly informed him that all the books in the footnotes were in the study.
He read it over and over again, but somehow it didn’t feel real. Even if he understood it in his head, it was hard to believe that this kind of pheromone action was happening with Ryle. There were also parts that he had consistently failed to understand. When had he developed such intense feelings for him?
Why had he harbored such one-sided feelings?
Ryle had been indifferent the whole time Hae-jin was swallowing his sorrow. He couldn’t know exactly when the imprinting had occurred, but he could guess that the relationship between the two had gone completely wrong. He had been so sick right away, after all.
Thinking about this one-sided behavior made him angry again. It seemed as if Hae-jin’s intentions had never been important from beginning to end.
Just then, the bell rang.
“Yes.”
His blunt voice went out without hiding his feelings any longer. His cough had subsided thanks to drinking grapefruit tea with so much honey that his tongue was numb.
Tea with honey was just like Ryle’s affection. He had to drink it right away because his throat hurt, but even the sweet things mixed in it penetrated his body.
“Hae-jin. How’s your cough?”
“….”
He couldn’t bring himself to answer. His sharp heart kept trying to cut up everything, without distinguishing between himself and others. After getting angry once in the greenhouse, Hae-jin had become quite good at expressing these intense emotions. Ryle had never stopped him from doing so.
That was why. Hae-jin had unknowingly moved his pheromones and sent his anger out to him.
“Don’t worry about it.”
“….”
“I want to be alone, so leave.”
“Okay.”
It was a different kind of anger than usual. Ryle, who had been trying to gauge the shadows on Hae-jin’s face, quietly stepped back after meeting his fierce eyes. He was relieved to hear that his lingering cough seemed to have subsided a lot when he heard his voice. He had been worried sick at the thought that a long-lasting cough was likely to turn into pneumonia.
He quietly stepped back and closed the bedroom door. It didn’t matter now that that place was originally Ryle’s space. Hae-jin seemed to need time alone as he began to express his emotions.
Ryle decided to respect that as well, even though he was still very anxious about the falling situation. The imprinting he had done arbitrarily had such a terrifying blindness.
“Ugh…”
But his heart, which was starting to ache again, was rejecting this situation itself. The gushing blood poured down before he could even stop it.
He hurried out of the drawing room. He didn’t want to burden Hae-jin with even a little bit of this trace. These situations were described in detail in the report, but it would be different from actually experiencing them.
“Young Master…!”
Mark, who had hurried over when he heard the news that he had arrived, discovered the scene. A servant who was passing by nearby ran over with a towel, her face filled with shock.
“Lower your voice.”
He calmly gave the warning while wiping away the blood. His mind was entirely focused on Hae-jin, who was curled up in the bedroom.
When would be the right time to go back? He hoped the boy wouldn’t stay submerged for too long. Besides, he had cleared away all the harmful objects, but he was still uneasy. Even though he seemed to be getting better and better with counseling, he couldn’t rest assured unless Hae-jin said with his own mouth that he would live.
Would the boy have felt better if he had come a little earlier? The anxiety had consumed him all the way here, hearing that he had been in the bedroom all along. He couldn’t be more annoyed with the cars filling the road.
The time it took to commute to and from the company was too nerve-wracking.
“Mark.”
“Yes, Young Master.”
“We need to install a helipad at the back of the mansion.”
Even with a worried look on his face, Mark didn’t move around as busily as before. He simply supported him a little and moved him to another place. He had told Mark in detail what the cause of this physical condition was.
“…I understand.”
So, even at the sudden words, Mark simply replied with a dark expression. He earnestly hoped that the relationship between the two would improve.
* * *
Despite Mark’s wishes, a strange space was only created between the two. When Ryle barely narrowed the distance at the right time, Hae-jin suddenly turned his heart elsewhere again. It seemed as if a strange compulsion was constantly urging Hae-jin to run away.
Ryle continued to chase Hae-jin, drinking in the thirst as if it were oxygen. He was afraid that if he took his eyes off him even for a moment, he would go to a place where he couldn’t chase him at all.
But the limits of his body steadily approached. It was because his rut was approaching soon.
“Hae-jin. Open the door for a moment. There’s something I want to give you.”
No matter how much he rang the bell, the door didn’t open. He had said that he was diligently looking at documents related to imprinting again today, so there must have been something in the contents that had touched a nerve.
Still, Ryle stubbornly rang the bell. He was holding a small box in his hand.
Since he had started going to work, leaving the boy behind, Ryle had been contacting him directly. As he did so, he began to worry about the old cell phone Hae-jin was using. He had been biding his time and thought it was the right time to bring it.
He believed it would be effective since he had consistently shown interest in these kinds of machines. He also wanted to distract him from the time he seemed to be spending too long immersed in imprinting documents.
After lingering in front of the door for a long time, he heard small footsteps. They were unstable footsteps that made him want to reach out and offer his hand right away.
The door swung open, and at the same time, sharp words flew out.
“I don’t need it.”
Recently, Ryle had felt that there was something else mixed in with Hae-jin’s trembling eyes. They were eyes that looked precarious, as if someone was forcibly grabbing and pulling the boy down. The more Ryle reached out to the boy with even more consideration, feeling uneasy, the more intense the trembling became.
A long thirst wrung out Ryle’s lungs at this moment.
“…Just look at it first, and it’s okay to throw it away if you don’t need it.”
He barely managed to put the small box in the boy’s hand. Hae-jin gripped the box so tightly that the tips of his pinkish fingernails turned white.
Just as he was getting a premonition that something was wrong, an unexpectedly strong pheromone of rejection washed over him.
“Stop being so… considerate.”
“….”
It was a word filled with emotions that he had been holding back, as if he had been biding his time. So, at this moment, he was able to realize that Hae-jin’s rejection, which he had been feeling all along, was not directed at Ryle alone.
But the moment of realization was a little late. His body, which had already reached its limit, was shaken mercilessly by Hae-jin’s negative pheromones.
“Ryle…?”
He couldn’t fall in front of the boy.
With his vision clouding, Ryle tried to capture Hae-jin’s face in his eyes until the very end. His heart was pounding even at this moment, as if those wide eyes held worry for him.
“…It’s not your fault…”
Even in this situation, he was worried that the boy might blame himself, and that worried him.
To be continued in Volume 4.