By Zephyria 
I quietly looked at Aska, who was very angry, and opened my mouth.
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, it’s that I’m afraid you’ll cry again.”
Aska was surprisingly sensitive and would shed tears at just a few words. I remembered that he had cried just from hearing that he had been tortured, so I tried not to say anything bad, but I didn’t know he would think like this.
“Afraid I’ll cry? Is it that bad?”
As expected, Aska straightened his back with a serious expression at my words.
“That’s why I didn’t say anything. Would I have kept it from you if it wasn’t a big deal?”
He doesn’t even appreciate my consideration and just yells… I wanted to click my tongue and blame him, but Aska’s expression was so stiff that I couldn’t even joke around.
“Were you avoiding telling me because you didn’t want to remember it?”
It wasn’t exactly that… It was such a long time ago that I didn’t feel much even if I thought about it.
He became cautious, as if it was a lie that he had been shouting and angry just a moment ago.
“If that’s the case, you don’t have to tell me…”
“……”
“If it’s not that, and you didn’t tell me because you were afraid I’d cry, you don’t have to do that anymore. And what’s wrong with crying? You can cry sometimes.”
I felt both amazed and uncomfortable at the same time at those words. Every time Aska acted like this, I felt the urge to avoid him.
If he hadn’t kept saying that I was avoiding him earlier, I would have made some excuse to get out of here today.
“It’s not like I’m a plant that won’t grow if I hear something bad…”
Aska kept stuttering, unable to finish his sentences properly, as if he was still choosing his words carefully.
“It’s not about good or bad, I just want to hear your story. I’m not a child anymore, why are you worrying about such unnecessary things?”
I thought there was no need to talk about the past, especially the bad times, but I couldn’t keep my mouth shut any longer when he said that much. But I had rarely told my story to others, so I didn’t know where to start.
While I was pondering, Aska spoke first.
“It wasn’t just a passing thought that I wanted to become a knight. It wasn’t something I suddenly thought of. I’ve always wanted to be something else, even if it wasn’t a knight.”
This was the first time I had heard this story. But somehow, I had a bad feeling. I frowned without realizing it. Aska, who didn’t know anything, began to slowly take out what was inside.
“I’m Aegis, who came here as a hostage. So I can’t go out alone, I can’t talk to other people, and I have to hide every day…”
“……”
As expected, my bad feeling was right. That’s why I couldn’t just be happy about Aska’s growth. When he was young, he didn’t know anything, so he did as he was told and stayed quietly locked up, but as he grew older, his curiosity about the outside world would grow.
Then, he would suddenly realize that his situation was unfair.
“So that’s why you wanted to become a knight? Because you can go wherever you want if you become a knight?”
When I asked to confirm, Aska nodded.
“Then I can go with you wherever you go. Then I’ll be Aska, not Aegis, who became a knight, so I don’t have to hide.”
“……”
But the words that followed were a little different from what I had expected. The creeping unease was subsiding, but I was still feeling awkward.
“Anyway, Aegis is weak and has Sealing Magic on him, so he doesn’t go out much. I don’t know anyone here, so if I say I’m recuperating, no one will come looking for me. So Aegis stays in the room and lies down, and I, who became a knight, keep going with you.”
Aska spoke fluently about the plan he had made, as if he had already made up his mind.
“Then I don’t care if you’re busy. After all, a bodyguard is always with you wherever you go. And if you don’t want to talk about the past, you don’t have to. I won’t ask anymore. If we keep being together from now on, I’ll naturally know what will happen in the future.”
I wanted to say something, but somehow I couldn’t get the words out. I didn’t know if I was feeling good or bad. All sorts of miscellaneous and confusing emotions that couldn’t be defined as one thing kept appearing and disappearing.
“……”
If I used another identity like Iskha said, I could give him a title and make him a knight. But I didn’t want to do that.
How could the Imperial Princess Consort become a knight? It wasn’t even a matter to be considered, but it was hard to refuse outright when he said so much. So I decided to put this aside for now.
“The reason I can’t taste is a side effect from when I was young.”
Aska’s eyes widened at my words.
“It wasn’t exactly a secret. It’s just that it’s not a very pleasant story to hear, so I kept avoiding it.”
“……”
“I didn’t deliberately hide it, and it’s not like you’re the only one who doesn’t know.”
“Then what was with you and Parha constantly making eye contact and exchanging glances?”
I had never exchanged glances with Parha. I was just unilaterally glaring at him, but he was misunderstanding.
“I didn’t do that. I was just giving him a look to tell him not to say strange things to you.”
“……”
Aska’s expression was still sullen despite my explanation. Aska, who was looking at me with suspicious eyes, as if he couldn’t believe it, asked.
“Side effect? Side effect of what?”
“There was something that happened when I was young, and Khalifa ordered it. It was to build resistance to poison by gradually increasing the amount, and that’s how it happened.”
“Poison?”
Aska asked back in surprise. Fortunately, he wasn’t crying, but his complexion was getting worse and worse, to the point where it would have been better if he had shed tears. I didn’t want to tell him because I thought this would happen.
“You ate poison? On purpose? How much?”
I didn’t just eat it, I also applied it to my body or inhaled it in the form of smoke or steam, so I couldn’t measure the exact amount.
“What did you eat? What kind?”
Aska asked urgently with a worried face, as if he had many questions, but it was difficult to answer this as well. There were so many that I couldn’t remember them all.
“Did it hurt?”
When there was no answer again, he asked an easier question this time.
I remembered Aska asking me if I was scared. It was the question he asked while crying when he heard that I had been tortured. At that time, I lied that I was scared to change the subject of the conversation, whether he cried or not, but I couldn’t do that now.
“It was so long ago that I don’t remember it well.”
“……”
I thought he would cry if I said it hurt, and it would be a lie if I said it didn’t hurt, so I vaguely avoided it. Then Aska silently stared at me.
Just when I thought I was suffocating from the excessively heavy air, Aska reached out and wrapped his arms around my neck. Now he was so tall that his head was much higher than mine when he sat on my lap.
“I wish we had met a little earlier.”
“Why?”
“Because I can make you not hurt every time you hurt. And I can hug you if you’re scared.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at those words.
“You probably couldn’t even walk back then.”
If I calculated the age, Aska was at a time when he couldn’t even speak. Aska was silent, fiddling with my earlobe as if he was thinking about something, and then asked something strange.
“But can you still get that poison now?”
“Why?”
“I want to try eating it too.”
At those words, I unconsciously clenched my fist. Aska slightly moved away and looked down at me, feeling the sudden pressure on his waist. I frowned involuntarily at his expression, which seemed to have no idea what was going on.
“Why would you eat that, all of a sudden?”
“I’m just curious how much it hurt you.”
“Why are you curious about that?”
“I can be curious. And anyway, I can heal myself, so it doesn’t matter.”
If you think about it, that’s true, but still, there are so many things to eat in the world, why would you eat poison?
“What was it like when it hurt the least? The least painful symptom.”
When I clicked my tongue and shook my head, Aska asked another question. He really had a lot of questions.
“It was just a slight fever. I didn’t really need to take an antidote, so it just went away.”
“Then get me that one to try. Anyway, I know you’ll say no to the most severe one, so I’m compromising.”
I didn’t even respond to the ridiculous words and spanked Aska’s butt.