By Zephyria 
I was momentarily stunned by the unexpected words.
He’d kill himself with me if I didn’t want to live, but I had to tell him at least a day in advance? It felt like a moment to be touched, but I was even more creeped out than before.
Because that meant that, in the end, I would be the one killing Aska.
“Got it?”
“……”
When I didn’t answer, Aska asked again, as if urging me. I couldn’t laugh or cry, and just stared at Aska with an awkward expression before subtly averting my gaze.
“Did you get it?”
The desperate request was slowly turning into a threat. His expression was also becoming increasingly fierce, making it difficult to keep my mouth shut.
Anyway, it was clear that whether I wanted to die or not was no longer important. I couldn’t let Aska die, so I had to find a way to live.
“I got it.”
“Why did you take so long to answer?”
His wet eyes narrowed suspiciously. I put my hand inside Aska’s top, stroked his back, and said,
“I was touched.”
“That’s not a touched expression.”
“It is.”
“It’s a creeped-out expression.”
He was like a ghost. I just wanted to move on, but if I left it alone, he might misunderstand, so I told him honestly.
“It’s not that I’m creeped out by you, it’s just that thinking about how your life depends on me suddenly makes the responsibility too heavy. It’s not just me dying if I die.”
At my words, Aska pouted. I wiped the moisture from his face and eyes and asked,
“Were you lying down alone thinking about that?”
Aska leaned his warm cheek slightly against my palm and closed his eyes.
“Yeah, I kept thinking about it, and there are so many things I want to do.”
“……”
I felt strange. How could he have decided to die with me when there were so many things he wanted to do? Did that mean he liked me enough to give up everything?
I understood his feelings, but I didn’t feel good about it. Fortunately, Aska kept his eyes closed, so he didn’t see my awkward expression.
“I want to travel around this country and that country and eat a lot of delicious food. Actan and Calderia aren’t that far apart, but the food is very different. The ingredients are different too. If you go to countries much further away from here, there will be a lot of new things.”
“That’s right.”
“And the sea is blue in Actan and Calderia, but in some countries, it looks purple. Depending on the location, the scenery at sunrise is also different. The types of trees are different too.”
Was that fascinating? It’s still the same sea and the same sun. Of course, I was amazed when I saw the sea for the first time, but that was only for a moment. After seeing it a few times, it became nothing more than a giant puddle of salty water.
“And there are Ruins hidden here and there, anyway, I want to see all of that. I didn’t have time to see those things when I was running around looking for you.”
“……”
“But I remember a few. I’m going to go see them with you later when I find you.”
Finally, Aska opened his closed eyes. His moist eyes sparkled like wet jewels. He seemed to be in a good mood already.
“Actually, it was fun being with you in the underground Ruins too. It was dangerous, and I wasn’t in my right mind, but still.”
“It was amazing for me too.”
“We were the only two who knew something new that no one else knew. That’s something only you and I know. We’re the only two in the world who have seen it.”
The more I listened, the more I thought it was a good thing I didn’t go back to the Imperial Castle. He likes to travel around like this, how frustrating would it be to be trapped in Talim, going back and forth between the Greenhouse and his room?
“But when I lay down and thought about it……”
Aska took my hand that was touching his cheek. I nibbled between his delicate fingers with my fingertips. Aska frowned for a moment as he spoke, as if tickled. But he didn’t let go of my hand.
I’ve decided to live for Aska from now on, so I have to let him do everything he wants to do. Go eat delicious food, find good scenery, and show him new things……
“That’s not what’s important.”
“It’s not?”
The moment I decided to let him do that, I was surprised and asked again at his words that it wasn’t.
“Then what’s important?”
“Being with you.”
“Together?”
“What’s so fun and exciting about going to see the purple sea alone? I’d just be sentimental thinking that it would have been better if I’d come with you, and then I’d go to sleep.”
After finishing speaking, Aska let out a big sigh.
“It’s not important where I go or what I eat, it’s important to do it with you. But if you’re angry and won’t go with me, or if you’re dead and gone, it’s meaningless for me to go alone anyway. I feel like I’d just sleep and then at some point, I’d think it would be okay if I just didn’t wake up.”
“……”
“So it’s better to die with you than to live like that. It’s better to eat something delicious together today and die tomorrow. So be sure to tell me a day in advance. Got it? Don’t take it as a joke. I’m really serious right now.”
Looking at Aska explaining with a serious expression, I didn’t know how to react. In the midst of all that, it was funny that he had to eat something delicious.
“What do you want to eat for the last time before you die?”
“Just the most delicious thing. What do you want to eat?”
I was about to say his semen, but the atmosphere was a bit heavy, so I just didn’t say it.
Anyway, I thought I vaguely understood what Aska meant by having to be together no matter what he ate or did. In fact, if I was eating with Aska, it didn’t really matter what it was.
Whether it was expensive food, street vendor’s chicken skewers, or semen.
“I went to see my brother earlier, and we were talking about this and that, and it came up that you choose how to live your life.”
“Choose?”
“Yeah, my brother chose to live as Emperor.”
Aska tilted his head at the sudden change of topic. I brushed Aska’s hair and continued.
“I thought you’d be stifled if you were in the Imperial Castle, so I decided to just stay missing. But my brother said that if you decided to live as a wanderer, then you should live that way. He said that now that you’re all grown up, you have to choose how to live your life.”
After hearing that, I decided to live for Aska without thinking. I don’t know why I suddenly thought that. I didn’t know the specific method, or what Aska wanted.
But after hearing what Aska just said, I had a feeling.
“I want to go see the purple sea with you too.”
That wasn’t because I was a wanderer, or because I wanted to see the purple sea. It was just because Aska wanted me to see it with him.
I wanted to enjoy the scenery that would have meaning if we saw it together, not alone, for the rest of my life.
“If we’re going to go see the purple sea, we have to be alive anyway, so I won’t say anything more about your heart.”
Aska’s expression brightened noticeably at my words.
“Really?”
He bloomed as if it were a lie that he had been crying. I poked his reddish cheeks with my fingertips and continued.
“Really. And I swear I’ve never thought of you as a leech for even a moment. I’ve never even thought of the word parasite.”
“I know that too.”
Aska mumbled softly, avoiding my gaze hesitantly. I pinched Aska’s cheek slightly with my index finger and thumb.
“Then why did you say such ridiculous things and run away? Do you know how surprised I was?”
“It was your fault. I know you don’t think of me that way, but why don’t you know that I don’t think of you that way? No matter how much you suck on me and prolong your life, would I think of you as a leech, you idiot.”
Looking at Aska speaking rapidly with an aggrieved expression, I was speechless. It was too logical, and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything he said was completely correct.
“Okay, I’m sorry about that.”
“Don’t say you’re sorry, say thank you.”
Aska’s eyes narrowed again when I hesitated.
Strangely, the word thank you didn’t come out easily. Was it because I had no choice but to accept it, but I felt more sorry than thankful?
I can lie about other things without batting an eye, but I don’t know why this one won’t come out of my mouth. But looking at Aska’s expression, I thought he would keep nagging me until the end, so I sighed and opened my mouth.
“Thank you.”
“Say thank you for saving me with all your heart. And say please take care of me in the future.”
“……”
Ugh, really. He’s just taking advantage of this……
Since I was doing it anyway, I got out of bed and stood in front of Aska. Then I bent down and gave a respectful greeting of gratitude.
“Thank you for saving me. Please take good care of my life in the future, Your Highness.”
I said that and waited for a while, but there was no answer, so I glanced up. And as soon as I met Aska’s eyes, who was looking at me with a triumphant expression, I burst out laughing.
Aska grabbed my hand and pulled me into his arms.
“Aska.”
His strength was so strong that I was suffocating, but I felt like it would be okay to suffocate like this.
“I’m not going to die until you have nothing else in this world that interests you.”
I decided to live like that.