By Zephyria 
No one survived in the Duke’s residence, where all entrances were blocked. When I twisted the Duke’s neck in the most painful way possible as the very last thing, the tightly closed door opened, and Mahir entered.
He couldn’t say a word to me in the hellish scene of carnage. The knights who followed him were the same.
They just stared at me with the same eyes they used to look at the Emperor.
Like those retainers on the day I received the wine glass. Like the knights who came to get me from the burning castle, following the Emperor’s orders.
Like me, always.
“Ha…”
I covered my face with my blood-stained hands, trying to suppress the laughter that was bursting out, but eventually, I burst into a fit of laughter.
“Hahaha!”
I couldn’t help but laugh. Having finally resolved the situation in the easiest way, I finally understood the Emperor, whom I had so despised.
¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸.•¨•¸
When I arrived at Sa Dillin covered in blood, I felt a sense of déjà vu.
“What is that state you’re in?”
When the blood that filled the Imperial Castle eventually overflowed and went out into the world. When that huge wave of blood engulfed the world and stretched out to the vast sea.
The corpses rowing with difficulty on a collapsing boat, the following crowds, the rain of blood and the umbrella like flames, the thorns, ice, and moisture trapped in the ruins of the abandoned building…
“Kyle.”
“……”
“Kyle!”
“……”
I lifted my head and stared blankly at the black smoke filling the ceiling before lowering my gaze. The Emperor was sitting at the highest point, looking down at me with a deeply furrowed brow.
“Do you know what you’ve done?”
I couldn’t remember how I got here. Mahir seemed to be saying something to me for a long time, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying. It was definitely a language I knew, but the words that entered my ears seemed to go straight out the other way.
I was about to kneel and bow, but stopped. My body wouldn’t move as I wanted it to. If I lost my mind even for a moment, I felt like I would immediately jump forward and swing my sword like a madman.
I took a deep breath and lowered my head. The blood was sticky and stiff, pulling at my skin every time I moved.
“Why did you do it?”
He clicked his tongue with a look of disdain. The sound struck my eardrums like thunder. The Emperor, with dark circles under his eyes, leaned back against the backrest with a tired expression.
My head was spinning. I didn’t know where to start. Actually, the Duke was the real culprit behind the Crown Princess’s assassination. He framed my knight. He even used a sick old man. So I went to see him, and all he did was spout nonsense about how it was all for my sake. I was so angry, and when I came to my senses, it had turned out like that.
“Speak…”
A sigh escaped me as I opened my mouth. I wanted to explain at length, but I was too tired to even speak. I summarized it as concisely as possible.
“He wouldn’t listen…”
“……”
My head dropped. Not a single drop of blood fell, even with the impact. It was already so stuck that it seemed impossible to remove.
“……”
“……”
The Emperor was silent for a long time. I don’t know why, but he didn’t punish me. He simply ordered me to stay confined and covered up the incident.
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One of the Duke families, of which there were only thirteen in Actan, was annihilated. It was a huge event, but no one mentioned the incident due to the Emperor’s direct gag order.
It was true that some of the guards in Talim had been bribed by the Duke. Asella pleaded for punishment, saying that she was also responsible for not managing them properly.
But at the same time, she asked for a grace period, saying that Talim was still in turmoil and that if she left, there would be no one to take care of me. I hadn’t said anything in the first place, but she was making a fuss all by herself.
What kind of punishment was she asking for? Do you want to pay for your sins with your life too? I wanted to ask, but I couldn’t.
I didn’t know how to treat people, how far I could let things go, or what was right and wrong.
“Your Highness.”
I was quietly staying confined according to the Emperor’s orders when I heard a voice calling me from outside the door. When I didn’t answer, I heard a knock again.
“Your Highness, it’s Abyss.”
I turned the page of the book, but the letters were hard to see. This happened often these days.
“Your Highness.”
I couldn’t read it even if I tried. Even if I saw or heard something, it didn’t register in my head. It got better when I woke up, but the frequency was increasing.
I thought I should take a nap and closed the book, but the door opened. Abyss, who had entered without permission, strode up to me and said with a stiff expression.
“I’m sorry. I came in because you didn’t answer.”
“If I don’t answer, you should go back. Why did you come in as you pleased?”
“Why won’t you see me?”
When I asked in an absurd voice, his already stiff face became even more rigid. I thought he wouldn’t understand unless I spoke clearly, so I finally sighed and announced.
“You are stripped of your title. It was never a position a commoner could handle in the first place. But since we’ve had some affection for each other, I’ll give you severance pay. Go back to your hometown…”
Before I could finish saying to go back to his hometown, Abyss drew his sword. It was such a sudden action that I couldn’t help but be puzzled.
He knelt before me like a sinner, offering the sword with both hands and bowing his head.
“I have already sworn allegiance to Your Highness. If you want to dismiss me, take my life.”
“……”
I couldn’t help but be dumbfounded. He must have thought I couldn’t kill him, so he was saying such nonsense. The emotions I had barely been holding back were about to explode. Abyss, who had spouted nonsense, took a deep breath as if he was wronged.
At the same time, the door opened, and Asella entered. Seeing the person who had suddenly barged in, Abyss exhaled the breath he had inhaled as if he couldn’t help it. I grabbed my throbbing head and shouted.
“Do you think this is an inn! This guy or that guy…!”
“Your Highness!”
Asella hurriedly called me, unusually flustered. I felt like my heart wouldn’t last. I started to sweat and my whole body trembled.
“What?”
Perhaps because of my reaction, or because she thought she was making too much of a fuss, Asella quickly erased the expression from her face. But that didn’t make my anxiety disappear.
I followed Asella. Abyss naturally followed behind me. I didn’t have the strength to tell him to get lost, and as I walked, I arrived at the Harem.
Why here all of a sudden? Before I could even wonder, a strange figure was seen through the open door. A girl wearing a thin skirt and veil was crouching down, trembling, and turned her head as if she felt someone approaching.
“……”
“……”
The moment our eyes met, I felt like all the sounds in the world disappeared. I was stunned for a moment before approaching her.
“Why are you…”
“Your, Your Highness…”
“What are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry…”
Sakira lowered her head and shed tears.
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After Jia became like that, Sakira left Actan with her father. I heard that they didn’t settle in one place and traveled around selling things.
This wasn’t a lie. However, I heard that all of their lives changed after they started receiving the money I sent anonymously every month. Sakira’s father, who had been frequenting gambling dens for fun, became increasingly addicted to gambling and wanted more money.
It wasn’t an amount that was absolutely insufficient for the two of them to live on. Rather, I sent them money every month that they could spend and still have plenty left over, but even that wasn’t enough, and he sent his daughter back to Actan.
When Sakira first tearfully confessed the truth, I was angry. It was a situation where the anger that had lost its way was raging like a storm inside me. All the emotions gathered at one point, and I felt like I wouldn’t be satisfied until I killed it.
But the man who had been captured and dragged in was wronged.
“Why did you give me so much money? What idiot would work when a large sum of money comes in every month without having to do menial labor? It’s all Your Highness’s fault that I became like this!”
“……”
I was speechless at his confident words.
“I was a solid head of household too! If it weren’t for Your Highness, I would have lived happily with Sakira, enjoying the little things! Why did you lead me into such temptation! Why!”
Watching the man cry and scream, my homicidal urges subsided. Was it because I admitted that it was partly my fault?
It was definitely nonsense, but I couldn’t even make a proper judgment anymore.
But I couldn’t send Sakira back to that man again. I couldn’t give him money as he wanted. It was even more impossible for me to keep Sakira here.
In the end, Sakira was bound to get caught up in something someday and lose her only life.
“Abyss.”
“Yes, Your Highness.”
“She’s a child I considered like a younger sister.”
I couldn’t even remember what kind of expression I was wearing. Abyss, who understood the meaning without me having to say much, knelt before me.
“I will protect her with my life.”
And so, Abyss, Sakira, and some others from the Harem left in the middle of the night. Of course, they couldn’t be caught, so they evacuated everyone, prepared a suitable corpse, and set fire to the Harem.
Closing my eyes in the hot heat, all sorts of scenes swirled and disappeared.
They say that life has its ups and downs. I saw a passage in a book that said that’s life. That even if you’re unhappy, happiness will eventually come.
I didn’t understand it from the moment I read it. Why do people have to endure unhappiness for the sake of happiness that will come someday? Isn’t that just self-consolation for unhappy people?
I didn’t need to be happy forever, I just wanted to become someone who couldn’t feel anything anymore.
I just wanted life to be monochrome.
I wanted it to be a pure white plain with no color, no scent, and no curves. I wanted to walk somewhere invisible and inaudible, and one day, alone, run out of strength and become the sand of the desert.
The innocent building burned for a long time, screaming for a while, and I held the funeral that I had been putting off.