By Zephyria 
Aska was still looking elsewhere. Every time I saw the tips of his ears turning increasingly red, my already shattered heart broke into pieces, crumbled, and was trampled into dust.
“I was just wondering what it would be like if we met as strangers, not as a married couple.”
“……”
His head turned further and further away, until he was almost sitting with his back to me. I reached out and grabbed his forearm.
“What’s so interesting over there?”
“Anyway, that’s why. It wasn’t a big reason, but if I had known it would be like this, I would have told you the truth from the beginning……”
His voice began to mix with tears.
“Why isn’t that a big reason? It sounds like a huge reason to me. And why are you looking over there when you talk? Turn around.”
I tried to force him to turn, but he wouldn’t budge. Helpless, I collapsed forward.
“Ugh……”
“Why? Are you dizzy again?”
As I buried my face in the blanket and squirmed, Aska asked in a surprised voice. Soon, I felt a feathery touch on my back. Not missing the moment, I quickly raised my head and grabbed his wrist. As our eyes met, Aska’s eyes widened.
I could see his eyes and cheeks flushed pink like flower petals, and my heart crumbled again.
“Are you dizzy?”
His worried gaze and voice were so soft and ticklish that I couldn’t stand it. I suddenly felt goosebumps and raised my arm, bringing it close to my eyes.
All the fine hairs were standing on end.
“I didn’t hear you properly earlier.”
“What?”
“Huh? What did you say? What was the reason you didn’t tell me?”
I grabbed Aska’s shoulders firmly with both hands to prevent him from turning away again. Perhaps because my touch was too rough, Aska’s expression immediately contorted.
“You heard me.”
“I didn’t hear you properly.”
“What are you talking about? Let go!”
Aska’s voice was getting louder and louder. No matter how hard I was holding him, he could easily shake me off with a single gesture, but he didn’t. Watching him whine and lightly twist his shoulders, telling me to let go, made my lower abdomen tingle.
“You have to look each other in the eye when you’re having a conversation.”
Aska took a deep breath as if he was about to shout, but he couldn’t let out a sound and only trembled, his mouth open. He repeated this several times, and his complexion turned as red as if it would burst if touched.
“What was the reason you didn’t tell me?”
I slowly released the strength in my hands that were holding his shoulders, worried that it might hurt. Now, he could escape my grasp with just a slight movement, but Aska didn’t move at all.
Aska, looking as if he was too embarrassed or ashamed to look me in the eye, hesitated for a long time before finally making a difficult sound while looking at me.
“Even if we weren’t anything……”
Even though I knew what words would come out of his mouth, I felt dizzy again. I focused all my attention to prevent myself from stopping his hesitant lips with my own, and I mentally recalled hundreds of imperial etiquette rules.
“Even so, you……”
“……”
“You like me……”
“……”
Like me…….
“Like… me……”
Like me what…….
Like me what!
I scolded myself inwardly, but eventually couldn’t stand it and lunged at Aska. Aska, surprised by my sudden attack, caught me with wide eyes.
I pinned Aska down and grabbed his cheeks, showering kisses haphazardly wherever my lips landed. Forehead, eyebrows, eyes, bridge of his nose, corners of his mouth……. As I kissed his lips and groped his flat chest, I suddenly felt a dizzy spell without warning.
I couldn’t tell if I was dizzy because I wasn’t feeling well or if I was too excited.
No, why now of all times?
I covered Aska’s body and collapsed, barely suppressing the groan that threatened to burst out. Still, I felt a little better as I remained still with my eyes closed.
“I told you not to move……”
A small, wet voice was heard. I wanted to see what kind of expression he was making, but I couldn’t lift my head.
Aska, who was lying underneath me, raised his arm and stroked the back of my head, saying,
“I should have just told you as soon as we met.”
Then he repeated what he had said earlier. I closed my eyes and leaned my face against Aska’s chest, asking,
“What?”
“That I’m your Imperial Princess Consort.”
At those words, I was so surprised that I raised my head. No, I tried to, but Aska pressed the back of my head tightly, preventing me from moving.
“I told you not to move suddenly. You might lose consciousness again.”
“You’re the Imperial Princess Consort? But I thought the Imperial Princess Consort was a woman?”
“That’s a long story.”
Even in my dizziness, I groped Aska’s chest. Even if I considered his height and build, his chest was too firm to be a woman’s. No matter how small a chest is, can it really be this firm?
As I continued to grope his chest, Aska sighed and said,
“I’m a man.”
“……”
Could there have been some circumstances? I don’t know what circumstances could have caused everyone to think his gender was the opposite, but it didn’t matter at all.
“We’re married? You and me?”
“Yes.”
“……”
Crazy, that’s a total win…….
My heart pounded at the unexpected words. Then that means sleeping together and spending the night together isn’t a problem at all, right? Even if he wasn’t the Imperial Princess Consort, I would have done something anyway, but it’s definitely better to do it as a married couple.
“Since we got married without even knowing each other’s faces at first, we were already a couple from the moment we met, whether we liked it or not. So I was wondering what it would be like to meet without any of that……”
He was talking well, but then his words started to slow down again. His voice sounded watery, so I reached down and grabbed his side tightly, kneading it.
“Why are you suddenly touching there?”
His voice, which had been about to become gloomy, quickly regained its vitality. I shook with laughter.
“What does it matter if I touch what’s mine?”
At my words, the strength pressing down on the back of my head weakened. Taking advantage of the gap, I slowly raised my head and saw Aska’s shocked expression.
His face was bright red, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
I went up further and kissed his flushed cheeks, licking his tearful eyes with my tongue. I grabbed his cheeks with both hands and admired his flustered face up close, unsure of what to do.
“……”
“……”
I stared at his trembling eyes and suddenly became curious, so I asked,
“Haven’t you kissed much?”
“……Why are you asking that all of a sudden?”
“Why are you so flustered?”
It seemed like he was simply embarrassed, but it also seemed like he wasn’t used to this kind of thing at all. Five years ago, we were both younger than we are now, but that wasn’t the only reason.
Was I not very expressive back then? If it had been me, I would have told him I loved him until he was sick of hearing it. Instead of blushing at something like this, I would have made him so used to contact that he wouldn’t even be conscious of it.
Come to think of it, I remembered that he said he had never heard me say I loved him. What on earth was I doing five years ago?
“I’ve hardly ever done this.”
“……”
I couldn’t help but become serious at his mumbled words.
He was stuttering less than before, and his red face was gradually returning to its normal color, but it was too obvious that he was trying to act like nothing was wrong.
“I only do it when I’m sick……. Almost……”
He still couldn’t look me in the eye properly, so every time Aska avoided my gaze, I moved my head along with him. If he turned to the left, I moved to the left, and if he turned to the right, I moved to the right.
After repeating this several times, Aska looked at me with eyes that seemed like he was about to shoot death rays. His expression was full of annoyance, so I grabbed his cheeks and squeezed them tightly.
“……”
Even with his lips pouting out, his eyes didn’t die and became even more ferocious. His eyes were still tearful, his nose was red, the area around his eyes was blotchy, his lips were swollen and glossy, and his pupils were shaking as if there was an earthquake…….
“You’re ugly.”
That’s why I couldn’t stand it. The moment I lowered my head to kiss his protruding lips, our eyes met. I was startled and stopped moving.
It was because Aska’s expression seemed somehow shocked, unlike a moment ago.
It was a short moment, less than a second. Aska squeezed his eyes shut and pushed my hand away.
“Don’t do it!”
He hadn’t shaken off my hand even when he was struggling earlier, but this time it was with much greater force. He even turned his body to the side, causing me, who was on top of him, to fall onto the bed.
I put my hand on the back of Aska’s head, which was buried in the pillow, and hurriedly lowered my head.
“I’m just kidding.”
“Go away!”
“I just said it as a joke. I really did.”
“Go away!”
I was flustered and desperately tried to make excuses, pressing my face close to the gap covered by his hair, but it didn’t work. Cold sweat ran down my back.