By Zephyria “First, I want to tell you that I absolutely do not treat you lightly like that.”
“Ah. Right! I wasn’t trying to say that Lee Hyun-muk is that kind of, a bad sort of person!”
“Lee Hyun-muk-ssi?”
As he said that, his gaze, which was looking at him intently, seemed a little sad, so Yohan subtly corrected himself.
“…Hyun-mook Hyung.”
Then, feeling uncomfortable on the skull chair, he shifted his hips slightly. He regretted bringing up this topic for no reason. But that regret didn’t last long. Yohan still wanted to know exactly what kind of relationship he and Lee Hyun-muk had. Even though they got along exceptionally well, there were times when he couldn’t sleep, wondering exactly what Lee Hyun-muk thought of him.
“Anyway, I’m curious. So….”
So, how should he put it? With almost no dating experience, and considering who his partner was, Yohan’s lips hesitated to speak. Perhaps seeing how his face was getting redder and redder, Lee Hyun-muk lowered the ends of his eyebrows.
“Yohan-ah. You are, so, so, so….”
Even though he had purified sufficiently earlier, he felt a reddish glow shimmering in his eyes again. It was probably because they were too close, and he had seen it wrong. Or perhaps it was because Lee Hyun-muk always made Yohan excessively nervous.
“Precious and cherished.”
Before he knew it, Lee Hyun-muk was kneeling in front of him. Yohan, flustered, tried to get down on the floor quickly too, but he couldn’t because Lee Hyun-muk’s hands had already grasped his knees. It felt like he had placed a firm cushion in front of him.
“So much so that I can grant you whatever you wish….”
Yohan didn’t know whether to be happy about Lee Hyun-muk’s words. There was a strangely unsettling undertone to what he said. After a brief hesitation, Yohan asked carefully.
“Is it because I’m a Purifier?”
It’s because I’m a Purifier that someone as great as this person treats me so well. This assumption always bothered Yohan. He was skeptical about whether he could have this kind of relationship with Lee Hyun-muk even if he weren’t a Purifier. But Lee Hyun-muk denied that thought outright.
“No. It’s because you’re the only one who rushed to save me. Because you protected me, not just once, but twice.”
“Uh, uh…”
An unbelievably intense joy slowly filled Yohan’s chest. He recalled the moments when he had bravely charged forward to protect Lee Hyun-muk and fought against the Flood, wondering if he had such great courage. He had been deathly afraid, but they were actions worth taking.
“Even if you weren’t a Purifier, I would have considered you the most precious and cherished.”
Only after hearing that answer did Yohan’s face brighten. He briefly rested his forehead on the knee Lee Hyun-muk was holding, then lifted his head. Black eyes looked up at Yohan from between the messy white hair that slightly covered his forehead.
“I’m not usually one to talk much, am I? Did this thought occur to me because of that…? If you find it hard to believe me, shall I speak more honestly?”
Yohan, overwhelmed with emotion, was about to say it was okay but hesitated. If not now, the opportunity wouldn’t come easily, so he revealed his more intimate feelings.
“It’s not that I find it hard to believe.”
“Not that?”
Lee Hyun-muk echoed in a voice as sweet and soft as cream. Yohan took a moment to catch his breath, feeling slightly out of breath.
“It’s just that, I, I…! In that sense, I like you. But I’m a man. So, I thought you might feel repulsed…”
“Mmm…. Yohan-ah. You are a person.”
“Huh? Yes?”
Yohan replied, bewildered. Lee Hyun-muk slowly continued, seeming to choose his words more carefully.
“So, as long as you are a person, everything else doesn’t matter to me.”
“Ah! So you mean you’re open to both men and women? You’re bisexual?”
“…Yes.”
After a slightly delayed response, Lee Hyun-muk fell into thought and then continued in a serious tone.
“Now that I think about it, it might be fine even if you weren’t a person. You’d definitely still be cute.”
It might be fine even if you weren’t a person? Pondering what that meant, Yohan suddenly felt anxious and quickly said.
“I’m not a Yang, you know that, right? It’s just my surname?”
Should I purify more? As he thought this, Lee Hyun-muk burst into laughter as if he had heard a very funny story. Seeing the usually indifferent person smile so rarely, Yohan also felt inexplicably happy. He giggled too and asked in a rather audacious tone.
“So, are we… dating now?”
But for some reason, this time Lee Hyun-muk reacted with considerable awkwardness. Yohan’s eyes instantly showed disappointment and dejection.
“Yohan-ah, don’t misunderstand. It’s just my remaining human conscience…. my sense of morality, that’s a bit of a hindrance…”
“What morality? Ah, you don’t mean…”
A memory came to mind when he thought of the age difference. It was the memory from the swamp last time when Yohan kissed the Madman Lee Hyun-muk to calm him down. Didn’t he also say something about his conscience hurting because he was young after he regained his senses?
“Anyway, I intended to wait with more patience.”
Trying to understand the other person’s perspective, Yohan, uncharacteristically, retorted.
“No, I’m not a minor! It’s only a ten-year difference! It’s not that big of a difference!”
He said it like that, but inwardly he wondered if there was a slight difference. If he switched places for a moment and thought about it, his current age was twenty-three, and ten years younger would be thirteen… Ugh! That’s an elementary school student! So, from Lee Hyun-muk’s perspective, it might feel like a significant difference?
‘No, no! Why are elementary school students coming up here? Elementary school students are children, and I’m clearly a grown adult. What’s wrong with a ten-year difference? In a world where couples with a twelve-year age gap exist, what’s the big deal?’
Besides, look at Lee Hyun-muk. He’s a High-level Awakener, highly capable, has a great physique, and is incredibly handsome. He has a good personality, and he’s a man of integrity who tries to protect his team members in this Abyss. Therefore, a ten-year difference is merely a tiny flaw in the face of these overwhelming advantages.
“Right, ten years isn’t that big of a difference…”
“Yes, exactly! We’re not even twelve years apart. Hyung’s face is also youthful. He doesn’t look that much older on the outside.”
“……”
For some reason, Lee Hyun-muk’s face grew even more somber after hearing Yohan’s words. Yohan, feeling anxious, pouted and asked.
“But then, how long were you planning to wait with patience? Honestly, isn’t it meaningless? We’ve already kissed multiple times, and last time, well, we did… everything else, too.”
Even though it didn’t go all the way, hadn’t they done things that were too embarrassing to say out loud? Although it seemed like Yohan had only received from Lee Hyun-muk, in Yohan’s eyes, it was an event no different from spending a night together. Lee Hyun-muk muttered, his eyes seeming distant.
“Maybe when you’re about 50 years old…?”
“Fifty years old is a bent-over old man!”
Yohan exclaimed with a laugh at the absurd joke. Fifty years old, that meant waiting another 27 years. Perhaps because the joke failed, Lee Hyun-muk chuckled weakly. Yohan’s laughter subsided as he started to suspect that Lee Hyun-muk might be using age as an excuse to reject him indirectly. Then, with anxiety, he said very seriously.
“Look, no matter how you answer, I’ll do my best to purify you…”
He tried to say it calmly, but the end of his words inevitably drooped sadly. After agonizing, Lee Hyun-muk tilted his head back and looked up at the distant ceiling of the queen ant’s chamber, saying.
“Fine, I’ll throw away things like conscience… When was I ever like a proper person anyway?”
Hearing that answer, Yohan flared up again.
“What are you talking about? You’re the most human person I’ve ever met, so don’t say that. I haven’t said it, but I’ve been a fan for a long time. You were my… hero.”
Before falling into the Abyss, Yohan had witnessed Lee Hyun-muk fighting against the Rifts a couple of times. It wasn’t just because he was lucky. There were countless citizens like Yohan who had witnessed Lee Hyun-muk’s exploits firsthand. That meant Lee Hyun-muk had saved an immense number of people. Lee Hyun-muk blinked rapidly. Then he gave a bitter smile.
“Know this. Just as before, from now on, no matter what happens, I will never give you up. Even if you resent me and hate me, never…”
His voice, muttering low with his head bowed, sounded somehow gloomy and desperate. For some reason, feeling a great sense of pity and compassion, Yohan mustered the courage to reach out his hand. Pretending not to notice Lee Hyun-muk’s dark emotions, he said in a spirited voice.
“Of course! We’re never breaking up.”
Then, as he gently stroked Lee Hyun-muk’s back, Lee Hyun-muk, who was still kneeling, rested his face on Yohan’s thigh. Yohan’s heart skipped a beat. Lee Hyun-muk looked up at Yohan with a faint smile and strangely glistening eyes.
“Wouldn’t it be wonderful if I could hide you away from Seung-ryong and Ho-young, refusing to give you up? In a very secluded and deep place, known only to me, safely…”
Yohan, who had been feeling a bit anxious for a while, said, pouring light into his hand that was subtly stroking Lee Hyun-muk’s back.
“You’re not going to do that, are you?”
“…No, I absolutely won’t.”
Lee Hyun-muk replied in a perfectly calm and gentle tone, but Yohan continued to pour light into him for a long time.