By Zephyria 
“Your face has gotten so gaunt. You need to take care of yourself and eat well…”
Ire forced a smile at Anna’s concern. The marks from that day were still clearly visible on her neck. Two weeks had passed since Matteo disappeared, but there was still no news. On his days off, Ire wandered the riverbank where Matteo had last been seen, sometimes even heading downriver.
“Hyung, when is Dad coming back?”
Luca whined every time they met. Quick-witted Monica stuffed bread into Luca’s mouth. When she told him he had to be good for Matteo to return, Luca looked at Ire with tearful eyes and asked why his dad wasn’t coming back, even though he prayed hard and behaved well. It hurt more than anything. Matteo might be even more necessary for that kid than he was for Ire.
“He’ll be back. He will.”
Ire stroked Luca’s head and continued eating. He couldn’t taste anything. Food that used to be comforting now felt like grains of sand. Still, he forced it down. With Matteo gone, he had to take responsibility for the children.
After finishing the meal, he cleaned up, played with the kids, then left the house. Luca and John clung to him, wanting to go with him, but he pulled himself away with heavy steps. Kim Ha-yoon had told him to apply for leave until Matteo was found, but Ire refused. Waiting around doing nothing would break him.
He took public transportation and headed to the river where Matteo had disappeared. He wandered the area like it was routine. He knew that even if Matteo were alive, he wouldn’t be here, but Ire couldn’t stop. He felt like he had to.
He repeated this until sunset, then collapsed on the riverbank. The calm water reflected the orange sky, and a subway train sped past above. Nearby, people on evening strolls chatted in pairs and groups. It was all so peaceful.
Then came the sound of footsteps.
Ire turned. Kim Ha-yoon appeared and sat beside him, holding two cans of beer.
“Knew you’d be here, wallowing in self-pity.”
“Knew Captain would come too…”
“You know that sounded pretty romantic, right?”
“You’re always chasing me like some leech stalker…”
“You were doing so well until now.”
Ha-yoon opened a can and pressed it against Ire’s cheek. Cold. Ire took it and sipped. The beer washed away the thirst and even the dull headache. When he scrunched his face with a “Kyah,” Ha-yoon smiled softly. Just looking at that face made Ire feel a little lighter.
As promised, Kim Ha-yoon spared no effort in searching for Matteo. He sent people out beyond the area, even combed through hospitals. Ire was grateful. If not for him, he might have collapsed already.
But he also felt guilty. Was it okay for him to be like this?
“You’re making that gloomy face again. Don’t do that, look over there.”
Ha-yoon pointed to the opposite side, then slowly to the left. Ire followed it with his eyes until he was staring right at Ha-yoon’s face. Before he could scold him, Ha-yoon leaned in and lightly kissed him.
Startled, Ire pushed him away and rubbed his lips with the back of his hand. Ha-yoon’s expression shifted.
“Keep wiping. I’ll pin you down and rub your mouth till it’s raw.”
Ire shot him a disgusted look, and Ha-yoon rested his head on Ire’s shoulder. When Ire didn’t push him away, Ha-yoon’s arm wrapped around his waist.
“When are you going to give it to me?”
Ire took another sip of beer and glanced at him. “Give what?” Then Ha-yoon’s hand slid down and grabbed his butt. Ire nearly hit him with the beer can.
The gratitude he’d felt a moment ago evaporated.
As Ire jumped up in a fury, Ha-yoon looked up at him.
“Can’t I?”
“Would I let you?”
“Why not?”
Ire wanted to tell him to take his own pants off if he was that eager, but there were too many people around. Kissing and hugging were one thing, but he had no desire to deal with that hideous thing.
“Thank you.”
“Suddenly?”
“I was feeling down, but now I’m too pissed to cry. Captain, you’ve got a real talent for pissing people off.”
Ire crushed the empty can and tossed it in the trash. As he climbed the hill, Ha-yoon followed. What he’d just said was sincere. Even when he was drowning in sadness, if this guy showed up and pulled something absurd, anger would take over. And for a while, the pain would disappear.
“……”
Ire turned back. Ha-yoon was on the phone a few steps behind. He wasn’t speaking, just listening quietly, then smiled faintly and mouthed, “Good work.” His expression looked strangely relieved as he approached.
That evening, the squad members who had gone to Area C returned.
With an unexpected bounty.
The mess hall was bustling—proof that the unit had come back. As soon as Park Woo-jin appeared, he started nagging.
Why was the barracks dirty? Did Ire clean it? When Ire said yes, he told him to get his ass beat. As always.
Ire rubbed his reddened face and sat down. A moment later, Seo Young-jun sat beside him. Oh Nam-gi had vanished again the moment the squad returned.
“That weasel. Look at him. Kissing up to the seniors, rubbing his hands together. That guy should be in politics, not the military.”
“But he’s a good kid.”
“I’m better.”
“Yeah. You’re good too.”
When Ire answered insincerely, Seo glared at him, then brought up something else.
“Did you hear? They took hostages in Area C.”
“Hostages?”
“They’re locked up in the warehouse behind the annex. We’re taking turns guarding them.”
“Ah…”
“There’s even a woman. A pretty one. Aren’t you curious?”
Ire wasn’t. He just hoped his turn wouldn’t come. But that hope didn’t last. After dinner, Park Woo-jin called Ire and his classmate and ordered them to guard the hostages. He also warned that if they were caught dozing, they’d be running laps until they died.
On the way to the annex, his classmate stayed silent, clearly irritated. Ire suspected he thought this was happening because of him.
They left the unit and headed to the warehouse. The iron door was tightly shut. It was hard to believe hostages were behind it. As Ire stood guard, gun in hand, he heard knocking.
He ignored it. But the knocking grew louder.
—Hey. I really need to pee. Can you open the door?
Ire stayed silent, eyes forward. The voice repeated the request, then turned to curses. His classmate slammed the butt of his rifle against the door.
“Shut up! You beggars! Before I open the door and shoot you all!”
Ire looked over, startled. The classmate, panting, raised his head with a smug smile. The warehouse went silent.
Time passed. Midnight came and went. Then the classmate said he was going to the bathroom, and didn’t return. Not in 10 minutes. Not in 20.
Ire remembered the look on his face when he’d exchanged glances with Park Woo-jin earlier. He’d thought they got along fine, when Woo-jin wasn’t around, but maybe not.
“Shit…”
Ire cursed and slid down the wall. He hadn’t been told not to sit, after all. The moon above was unusually bright. Staring up at it made him miss Matteo even more.
Then he heard singing.
He thought about scaring them like his classmate did, but stopped. Instead, he sat still and listened. The mournful melody was familiar. At first, he thought he was imagining it. But he wasn’t.
He mouthed the words. Then he remembered.
It was the lullaby Matteo used to sing to him when he was a child.
Strange. No one but Matteo had ever known that song. Even Gangsan had never heard it.
Feeling uneasy, Ire got up and faced the door. The song turned into sobbing.
Then a man’s voice, calm and firm, spoke.
—Stop crying, Seol-ah. The dead don’t come back just because you cry.