By Zephyria 
Just an hour ago, they were noisy, wondering where they would sleep, but now it was very quiet. Perhaps because they were tired, everyone was lying in bed, trying to sleep.
The hunters, including Polargehen, seemed to have scattered to their assigned places to stand guard and were nowhere to be seen. Therefore, Ardian was the only one who wasn’t asleep yet, so he immediately caught my eye.
He also felt my presence and turned around, tapping the floor as if telling me to come to his side.
However, I took one of the prepared bedding sets and settled down in a spot far away from him. To be exact, it was on the outskirts, away from the spot where the children were crowded together. I didn’t want to sleep among the humans who were so close together that their arms and legs would get tangled if they turned over.
Then, Ardian picked up his bedding, got up, came to my side, and settled down again. He responded to my glare with a smile. He was an incredibly shameless guy.
I thought about moving my spot one more time, but I didn’t want to engage in a pointless battle of wills. I decided to just leave him alone.
“Where did you go?”
As soon as I sat down on the blanket, Ardian, who had followed and sat down next to me, spoke in a soft voice as if he had been waiting.
I sat with one knee raised, comfortably resting my arm on it and propping up my chin.
“I just went out for some air.”
“Cloud Hunter was heading that way. Did you meet him?”
“Mm.”
“What did you talk about with him? Are you two close?”
When I sent him a look instead of answering, Ardian, who was also sitting with one knee raised and his arm resting on it, buried half of his face in it.
His eyes, hidden in his arm, shone with a strange light.
“I don’t like that.”
Soon, he mumbled and his hand, which had been slowly reaching out, covered the back of my hand that was resting on the floor. When I coldly pulled my hand away, Ardian let out a small laugh as if he had expected it.
I frowned. For some reason, I didn’t like it.
“Whether I’m close to him or not, what does it have to do with you?”
“I get jealous when you’re too close to other people.”
Right.
I had forgotten for a moment… this guy was like this.
He wouldn’t have any sincerity, but his words flowed like a clear stream.
“Don’t be ridiculous. Keep your jokes within reason.”
Eventually, I ended up snapping back with a stinging remark at a lump of emotion that had suddenly surged up. It was because my words had come out faster than I had thought. Ardian’s lips twitched for a moment. A strange look appeared on his face, which seemed very similar to the emotion called ‘disappointment.’
“I’m not joking.”
“Then why do you keep saying things you don’t mean?”
Ardian retorted to me instead.
I frowned a little deeper.
He was openly flirting with anyone and everyone, yet he was irritating me with those kinds of words, which made me feel very unpleasant.
But why was I bothered by that again?
I was about to argue, but I felt a sense of pride along with the thought of why I should. It felt like I was being swayed.
In the end, I lost my will and fell into a deep sense of futility.
It’s confusing. Yeah. This guy keeps making my heart confused. That’s why it was difficult to deal with him, and why things kept going wrong like this when I talked to him.
He says he wants my heart, but he doesn’t fully reveal what he’s hiding inside. That’s the fundamental problem. But if I try to bring it out, he’ll hide again.
It’s always the same old story.
He said he wasn’t my enemy, but I wondered if I could even trust those words.
So, what do I want to do with this guy, whose identity is still ambiguous because I still can’t tell if he’s an enemy or not?
Silence continued as I couldn’t readily answer.
I felt Ardian changing his posture and approaching me.
When I turned my head, he was too close, so I instinctively leaned back and braced myself on the floor to keep my balance.
However, Ardian didn’t stop there and crawled closer on his knees, almost digging between my legs. His right hand covered the back of my hand, and his gaze poured down on me from where he was looking down at me.
“Looking at you like this… holding hands like this too.”
His left hand quietly reached out and touched my cheek.
“Touching you like this… pressing our lips together and kissing too.”
His white fingers, gently stroking and running down my jawline, lightly touched my lower lip last.
“I want to do everything only with you.”
This guy…
“What do I have to do for you to believe me? That I’m sincere.”
As if he wasn’t satisfied, he tried to shake me up even more.
I dropped my head to the side and avoided his gaze.
It was such an uncomfortable distance that I couldn’t find a place to put my eyes, so I wanted to run away from this spot right away, but it was painful that I couldn’t because of my awkward posture.
I narrowed my brows and eventually glared at him.
“Get out of my way if you don’t want to die.”
Of course, that wouldn’t be a threat that would work.
Yet, he obediently backed away.
Considering the difference in power between him and me, it was actually impossible. He could suppress me with force at any time and solve the problem, but he wasn’t doing that.
“…I can’t fully believe everything about you.”
I slightly lowered my gaze, taking it away from him.
“Because you don’t trust me either.”
Ardian doesn’t say anything in response to that.
“That’s what you’ve been hiding about yourself so far.”
Even after I finished speaking, for a long time.
It was an affirmation in the form of silence.
Soon, Ardian’s face, which had dropped his head with a small deep breath, was shadowed. He hesitated for a long time, then slowly opened his mouth.
“If you know about me… you’ll definitely hate me.”
It was a voice that sounded difficult, as if he was squeezing it out.
“So, I wish you didn’t know.”
His voice seemed to crack for a moment.
“I just… I wish you would only look at me as I am now.”
It was as if he was pleading pitifully, which made me feel strange.
“……”
Hearing him say that much, my heart softened. If all of that was acting, he would be the greatest clown of all time.
Then, can I withdraw my distrust and give him trust?
If I can give him trust, the possibility of him regarding someone he genuinely likes as an enemy is also low, so there would be no reason to be wary of him.
Of course… the words that I would hate him if I knew his identity were suspicious…
I glanced at him and let out a small breath through my nose.
“Alright. I’ll trust you once.”
“…You’re trusting me? That I like you?”
“That and that you said you weren’t my enemy, both.”
Ardian stared at me intently. I tilted my eyebrows, wondering why he was looking at me like that, and he lowered his eyes as if some tension had been relieved.
“Hey. Ray.”
Soon, he put on a faint smile.
“Can I kiss you?”
What followed was a very absurd question.
Why did the conclusion go there?
I frowned and looked very disgusted.
“No.”
“Why?”
“Why, you ask.”
I had a lot to say, but I was so dumbfounded that I was at a loss for words, so I pressed my forehead. From the beginning, there was no reason for him and me to have to do such dirty things. I had only acknowledged that his feelings were genuine, but that didn’t mean that I had accepted him.
Also, even if I fully understood the emotion called love and accepted him, I didn’t want to actively engage in the act of kissing that lovers do.
How filthy an act it was…
What is the reason for mixing tongues to express affection? It doesn’t make sense at all. It wouldn’t be any different from putting meat in your mouth and rolling it around.
“Have you ever kissed before?”
At that time, Ardian’s subtle question broke through my thoughts. I didn’t like it for some reason, so I pushed away the chin of the guy who was looking at me.
“I don’t. Such dirty acts.”
“Dirty… I feel good.”
How would he know if he felt good or bad?
When I looked at him with narrowed eyes, Ardian, who had gently grabbed and pulled away my hand that I was pushing away, meaningfully sparkled his eyes.
“Aren’t you curious? What it feels like.”
“I’m not curious.”
“I’m curious. What it feels like to do it with you.”
Is it any of my business whether he’s curious or not?
“Stop talking nonsense and go to sleep.”
I shook off his hand and grabbed the blanket.
It was to end this pointless conversation.
However, Ardian, who was stuck to me like a piece of gum, was being more persistent than usual.
“Ray. Are you really not going to do it with me?”
“……”
“Huh? I’d like it even just once.”
“Shut up.”
I covered myself with the blanket and turned over. When I closed my eyes, Ardian became quiet too. I knew he was next to me because I didn’t feel him leaving, but suddenly I felt a hand stroking my hair and lingering near my ear.
“Then… hey, Ray.”
At that voice, I half-opened my eyes that I had closed and glared at him. Ardian’s golden eyes, which had blinked once, were completely filled with me.
“If I use the wish I didn’t use last time, can I do it? Kiss.”