By Zephyria 
Han Jun-woo was dead.
Not really dead, but the existence of Han Jun-woo had died within this pyramid.
The school was in an uproar. Now, it was erased by hundreds of lined-up sneaker marks and the dust that rose from them, but just a few hours ago, there were curved tire tracks left on the playground.
As the piercing siren rang out, all the students rushed to the windows. Dull, lifeless eyes, like dried pollack in a fish store, densely covered the windows. The school was so noisy that shouts from the kids in the next class flowed into our classroom through the windows.
“What is it? What’s going on?”
“Don’t you know? You idiot, there’s a fight in the next class.”
“What! Who?”
“That guy, Han Jun-woo and Go Yohan.”
“Wow, shit… That’s crazy. How did I miss that?”
We are high school students. A time when we are on the cusp of adolescence. At the same time, it is a time when we are extremely sensitive and full of narcissistic, individualistic emotions, ashamed of our past selves, and enthusiastic about simple, violent, and explosive emotions, so this reaction is natural.
“Hey, anyone close to someone in the next class? Weren’t those two close? How did they end up fighting?”
“Haven’t you heard the rumors about Han Jun-woo?”
Our class was a mix of kids who felt thrilled to be the subject of rumors, those who humbly accepted their downfall, and those who enjoyed the pleasure of being on the winning side. Outside the window, a white ambulance was parked. For the next 30 minutes, the biggest gossip in the school was about who had called the ambulance. We were well aware of the speed at which rumors spread in a closed, five-story private high school.
So, who won?
Those who heard the truth of the incident were not worried about the two students who were so badly injured that they had to be taken away in an ambulance, but rather enjoyed the fulfillment of a wish that had been lightly, but subtly, earnestly made at the beginning of the semester.
Go Yohan.
In the first place, the winner of such a fight is usually ambiguous. This is especially true for fights like the one that just happened, where only two people were involved. However, in this fight, everything was in Go Yohan’s favor. In addition, the rumors that had been circulating before made Han Jun-woo’s defeat even more certain.
In the dirty hallways of the boys’ high school, these words were exchanged.
“Turns out Han Jun-woo is gay.”
“What? Wasn’t he popular with girls?”
“Shit! Hey! That’s all a lie! He was actually just after their asses. All the kids he bullied got penetrated. It’s terrifying. And his family is rich. With money, what can’t you do? Shit. Just go to a Brothel and it’s over.”
“Wow. Shit. I didn’t see Han Jun-woo like that. He’s a slut.”
“Hehe. Wow. I should have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth. Even gays go to Brothels. But isn’t it cheaper in China? I heard our school trip is going to China. Can we sneak out during free time? Wanna go?”
The conversation ended not with Han Jun-woo, but with a shabby, cheap Brothel somewhere in China, but in that short conversation, Han Jun-woo’s honor was butchered a dozen times and finally murdered. The number of these murders is multiplied by the number of students in the school.
After losing to Go Yohan, Han Jun-woo became a complete slut. As if everyone had been waiting for his downfall.
The classroom was teetering between coolness and passion. Everyone’s eyes darted back and forth between the red reference points. The back of the classroom floor was still stained dark red. It must have already dried, but it felt like blood would seep out if you pressed it, even now.
The attitude of the frail Homeroom Teacher, who I thought would burst into tears as soon as she saw the scene of the accident, was unexpected. The next period was self-study, and the classroom, which had been noisy with hot topics that seemed to be throbbing, cooled down with the appearance of the Homeroom Teacher. As soon as she entered, the Homeroom Teacher threw the things she was holding on the floor, breaking them, and screamed with a high-pitched shriek that seemed to tear our ears.
“What is wrong with you all! You, you, you, you damn bastards! Do you think I’m a joke? Why do you live your lives like that? Stop it. I said stop it! Why are you making so much noise during self-study time! Is this the time for you to be talking? Next year is your senior year! Your senior year! Please listen to me and don’t cause any more trouble! Do you know that I have to take responsibility for everything you do! I shouldn’t have come to an all-boys school. I didn’t even want to come to a place like this. I feel like I’m going crazy. If you live like that, you’ll only end up as garbage, right? Aren’t you sorry to your parents? And how many times do I have to tell you not to talk during self-study time for you to understand!”
It is normal for most people with any sense to shut their mouths and watch the situation if they see a frail and delicate person who doesn’t seem like they would ever get angry suddenly getting angry, but because an all-boys school is a place where a diverse group of inadequate people gather, there are some who deviate from common sense, some who have not yet escaped the pathetic adolescence of middle school, and some who, even if they study the same amount, are inherently less intelligent and commit idiotic acts. Our classroom alone is like that.
“Eh, eeh—Teacher is angry. Teacher is angry! Don’t be angry!”
“Teacher is funny when she’s angry.”
The guy sitting in the back by the hallway said it, and the guy sitting in front of me whispered it quietly.
“You little shit! What? Do you think I’m a joke right now?! You, come out here. Come to the front!”
“Aww-. Why are you doing this?”
“Come out here, you bastard!”
The Homeroom Teacher threw the attendance book. The attendance book flew between the desks, hit the corner of a desk in the third row, and fell to the floor. The attendance book, having lost its gravity, made a loud noise.
“I was wrong. I won’t do it again. Please forgive me just this once. Okay?”
He’s still smirking and not repenting. The one who commits these kinds of acts is always someone who is neither successful nor unsuccessful, just mediocre. Clumsy guys like to act up. They pretend to be strong while showing off. But only he doesn’t know that his pretense is the most clumsy and pathetic in the world.
“Come out here. Or should I come over there?”
“Ah, Teacher! That’s too much! Really!”
“Hey!”
“Shut up, the Teacher told you to come out.”
I can’t stand it anymore. Unable to bear it, I opened my mouth. The eyes of the classroom turned to me, and I, without paying any attention, scanned the pathetic spectacle. Actually, the monkey business is so funny that I almost burst out laughing. I quite like these situations.
The reason why I, who am not good at fighting and don’t pretend to be strong by putting on a tough act, can sit in a fairly high position in this jungle is because I feed on these guys.
“Hey, Kang Jun-ah. Why are you suddenly getting serious?”
“You’re the one who can’t read the atmosphere.”
Of course, this is not a result achieved overnight. In the first grade, during the period of sorting out the hierarchy at the beginning of the semester, there was bound to be resistance, but now it is as pleasant as the Spiral of Silence Theory.
“That’s right. Don’t be so noisy and get out of here quickly. Ah, seriously, this guy doesn’t know how to read the atmosphere. Can’t you see it’s serious right now?”
“It’s because of that guy. Seriously. What is it?”
I hear Kim Min-ho’s small voice muttering to the end. The confident expression he had when he was teasing the Homeroom Teacher gradually faded like a dying ember. Pressed by the momentum of the entire class, he finally got up from his seat and stood in front of the Homeroom Teacher. Look at that dead rat-like figure.
I secretly smiled crookedly. Han Jun-woo has fallen. And I couldn’t be happier about that fact. That emotion may have originated from the fact that Han Jun-woo had punched me.
No, it’s certain. I am feeling a kind of exhilaration. Honestly, I was a little surprised. And I felt the power that had returned to me thrillingly.
“Get out into the hallway right now!”
“……”
After finally chasing the noisy idiot out into the hallway, the Homeroom Teacher put one hand on the teacher’s desk and silently suppressed her anger for a while. It was fortunate in many ways that her tone had changed to a much calmer one, as if she had sorted out her thoughts. Then, she said that she would call each of the students in the class one by one and ask them about the truth of the incident.
“I will definitely keep your secrets. So, I hope you will tell me the truth. Please don’t disappoint me. Please, I beg you.”
She seemed to be trying to hear a fair story in her own way, but the female Homeroom Teacher still didn’t seem to understand the pyramid world of men. After the self-study time was over, Lee Seok-hyun, with his face flushed and catching his breath, closed the windows and the classroom door and warned everyone.
“Hey. Watch what you say. Decide carefully whether it’s Go Yohan or the gay bastard who’s going to be staying at school longer.”
“Han Jun-woo hit first. You know?”
Kim Min-ho continued. It’s truly an amazing friendship.
And Go Yohan returned to school in less than a week.
The returned Go Yohan showed off his bluish-purple swollen jaw. His nose was torn, and bandages were plastered all over the square-cut bandage. However, contrary to his miserable face, the energy emanating from his face was more imposing and arrogant than ever. He grinned, splitting his mouth wide open, and tapped his Canine Tooth, which had been missing but was now neatly attached, with his index finger. I also lightly returned his smile.
Immediately after the fight, Go Yohan calmly got up on his own and walked to the ambulance. It was bizarre, but it was spectacular enough to make a fuss for days. I hurriedly followed him. And before he got into the ambulance, I handed him a milk carton.
“This is your tooth. Tell them it fell on the floor, and ask them to disinfect it because you might get tetanus.”
At that time, Go Yohan wiped his face with his left hand and looked at me. However, the blood that had already hardened did not wipe off. Honestly, his face, half of which was hardened and covered in crimson blood, was not a pretty sight. I was distracted by the fact that Go Yohan’s unusually small pupils were fixed on my hand. Go Yohan opened his mouth in that state, and I, flustered, perked up my ears.
“…I’ll contact you.”
His hand, hardened with blood, brushed my cheek. It was a really sudden action.
“…Huh?”
I had no choice but to stand there blankly.
Fortunately, the text message I received after that was news that most of the nerves were still alive and were transplanted as they were. And as soon as he came back like this, Go Yohan sat next to me. When my original partner came, Go Yohan didn’t even look at him and pointed to his seat with his thumb. My partner sat in the empty seat without a word.
The guy who was sitting next to me before I knew it tapped my shoulder twice quickly with his index and middle fingers and suddenly said this.
“It’s a gift.”
“What? What are you talking about out of the blue?”
“Don’t argue and open your hand.”
I put down my mechanical pencil and opened my palm. At the same time, he gently placed something on my hand. The rustling feeling remained in the center of my palm, making me feel strange. When the large hand covering my palm went up, what I saw was one broken tooth without a root, and one tooth with the root still alive.
What is this? I was confused by the unidentified tooth, which was strangely yellow at the end and covered with dark red colors, so I looked at Go Yohan, and Go Yohan leaned back on the back of his chair and sneered.
“Han Jun-woo, I’ve made him chew meat with fake teeth for the rest of his life.”
Heehee. And he twisted his shoulders and laughed really happily. Just like a pure boy.
“Did you see?”
“……”
“I won.”
This crazy bastard.
Go Yohan is the one who really doesn’t show any signs of remorse. For a moment, I almost threw the tooth in my hand against the wall.
Go Yohan’s appearance made the school stir again. After all, he was the main character who appeared first, and his face looked more normal than expected, and his actions also lacked the melancholy of a loser.
Rumors about the victory spread mainly among the second graders. Most of the people who know the truth of the rumors are also second graders. For the first graders, the second grade is a very distant grade, and it is just an interesting issue that they want to know about, but it is difficult to know unless they have an acquaintance, and for the third graders, it is like a savory seasoning in their tedious exam life, or a rotten food additive that interferes with their exams, but for us second graders, it will be one of the big events that will remain in our memories for the rest of our lives.
“Go Yohan, are you crazy? Are you out of your mind? No, I thought you weren’t normal from the beginning, but I didn’t know you were this crazy.”
“Seok-hyun-ah. You have to let the barking dogs know their place with a stick.”
At Kim Seok-min’s words, Kim Min-ho jumped up from his seat.
“Yohan is a son of a bitch—that’s right. That’s right. Seok-hyun-ah! A man has his pride, why would you give in and let a gay bastard fuck your ass? I’ll be the one to fuck you!”
Kim Min-ho, who was sitting on Han Jun-woo’s desk, stamped his feet and laughed at the trivial words. And Kim Seok-min proudly spread his legs wide.
“I wondered who would win if they really fought, but Go Yohan won after all.”
“Hey. Of course. You idiot! Who is Yohan! That bastard was fucking awesome since the first grade!”
Kim Min-ho shouted and playfully raised his fist. Kim Seok-min raised his body and grabbed Kim Min-ho’s fist with his palm. The two’s playful sparring match started like this. And Park Dong-cheol, who is sitting awkwardly next to Kim Seok-min.
“Yohan is really amazing.”
But no one answers that. That’s because Park Dong-cheol’s words are just repeating what he said a little while ago, and Kim Seok-min, who cares about him the most, is playing with Kim Min-ho. Park Dong-cheol wiped his nose with his thumb and smiled awkwardly. He knows very well that no one is interested in him. But it’s better than being alone.
Look, Teacher. This is the pyramid of insignificant boys.
I was resting my chin on the back of my hand when I took out two thousand-won bills that were stuck in my front pocket. Then, I acted as if I had just realized it.
“That’s right. Dong-cheol-ah. I haven’t given you the money yet, have I? The milk money.”
When I offer words of sympathy, at that moment. At that moment. Park Dong-cheol’s eyes are filled with hope and he gives a cheap smile. I handed Park Dong-cheol the neatly folded bill as if I were giving alms.
“Here.”
“U-uh. Thank you.”
Idiot. What is there to be thankful for? Really? But I cast a vote of sympathy for this idiot. I was happy to hear the word “thank you.” That’s because it was a word that Park Dong-cheol himself admitted that I was above him. And Kim Min-ho and Kim Min-seok, who hadn’t even been interested in Park Dong-cheol’s words, stopped their wrestling match and asked.
“Milk? What milk?”
“Jun-i soaked my tooth in milk for me. I would have had to get implants for the rest of my life if it weren’t for that.”
Go Yohan revealed his teeth and tapped the lip above his Canine Tooth. Kim Min-ho asked again.
“Why milk? What’s with milk?”
“Is this bastard an idiot? Didn’t you learn to put your tooth in milk if it falls out?”
“Ah, is that so? Hey. Kang Jun-i, this bastard is really smart.”
Kim Min-ho shook my shoulder. Seeing that, Go Yohan smiled and hit Kim Min-ho and Kim Seok-min on the back with his right hand.
“You useless bastards. Be someone who is helpful in my life like Jun.”
I smiled slightly at Go Yohan’s actions and turned my head. Park Dong-cheol, isolated again. But Park Dong-cheol was smiling. And behind Park Dong-cheol, I saw Choi Dong-hwan and Hong Hwi-jun, who were looking at us as if we were noisy. Looking at those things, I laughed louder than anyone else, just like Park Dong-cheol.
After all, I wasn’t wrong.
On the day Go Yohan and Han Jun-woo fought, the first witness I chose was me. I was a little embarrassed when I was first called. I wondered why I was called in particular, but I soon understood. The Homeroom Teacher had been particularly fond of me for some time, and I was friends with both Han Jun-woo and Go Yohan.
But my testimony was honestly biased in favor of only one side.
“Jun-woo started the fight with Yohan first. He was the one who hit first, too.”
“Really? Are you taking Yohan’s side because you’re friends with him?”
The tone of suspicion and questioning was quite unpleasant, but my expression had not been very good since before I met the Homeroom Teacher. The Homeroom Teacher wouldn’t have thought it was strange.
“Yes. Really. He suddenly said something about the textbook, and then suddenly punched Yohan. Yohan was just retaliating after being hit.”
“Hmm. Is that so?”
The Homeroom Teacher stroked the area near her sideburns with her finger.
“But you know that Jun-woo was hurt more than you thought, right?”
“Is that so.”
“When the ambulance came, Yohan walked there on his own, and Jun-woo was carried away. Jun-woo even went to the emergency room. His nose was broken and the skin on his face was torn. The difference is too big, that’s why.”
“But Jun-woo was the one who hit first, and Yohan lost a tooth.”
In addition, even at this point, I didn’t know that Han Jun-woo had lost two teeth.
Looking back now, Go Yohan meticulously collected the teeth amidst all the chaos and hid the ones that could have been saved, purely to mess with him, which feels grotesque. Perhaps Go Yohan is even more of a piece of work than Han Jun-woo, at least mentally.
“Hitting is one thing, but Yohan hit him a bit too hard, don’t you think? How could he make a kid’s face like that?”
“…That’s true.”
“Perhaps, did several people hit Jun-woo together…? Is that not the case?”
I flinched for a moment, then gave a firm answer.
“No. Go Yohan and Han Jun-woo fought alone. The other kids tried to stop them.”
“Hmm…”
The Homeroom Teacher started scratching around his ear. Thin hairs that had crept onto his apricot-colored skin rose and fell. With his other hand, he rhythmically clicked the pen button. Lost in thought, the Homeroom Teacher moistened his lips slightly with his tongue and slowly called my name.
“Jun-ah.”
“Yes.”
“Jun-i has always acted in a trustworthy manner. He has helped Teacher a lot too. So I really trust Jun-i. Teacher really likes Jun-i. I’m on Jun-i’s side.”
“Yes.”
I repeated the words.
“…That’s what I saw.”
It’s an excuse.
Again, it’s an act of creating an escape route. ‘It was just my opinion.’ It’s a very one-dimensional escape, but there’s no better way to brazen it out. And the Homeroom Teacher is funny too. What good does it do to call in a few students who are close to Go Yohan and talk to them? When you look closely, the Homeroom Teacher seems to be subtly taking Go Yohan’s side.
Well, the truth was clearly not going to be revealed as it was anyway. There are no CCTVs.
And as I thought, Go Yohan received no disciplinary action. I was sure that would be the case. It was just so obvious that I was surprised.
My certainty that he wouldn’t be disciplined wasn’t just because of the school’s sloppy response, but also because of my judgment of Han Jun-woo, whom I had been watching for a year. I could guess how Han Jun-woo’s decision would end.
I knew that Han Jun-woo would never say anything that would damage his arrogant pride, such as admitting that his teeth had fallen out, that he had been beaten to death by a classmate, or that he had ultimately lost. Only Han Jun-woo’s Father would be frustrated and pester the school.
“…But it’s strange.”
My thoughts and reality differ slightly in this area.
I stared at the ordinary classroom, where nothing had happened for days. Go Yohan’s face showed no trace of worry or concern. He was just bouncing a rubber ball, which I don’t know where he got it from, and playing noisily. His face was covered with the scars of glory.
“How can he be like that?”
In my opinion, Go Yohan should be bowing his head to Han Jun-woo’s Father with his parents by now. After all, the proposition that ‘Go Yohan hit Han Jun-woo’ is definitely true. Go Yohan, who had produced a result that Han Jun-woo’s Father didn’t like, should naturally apologize for it. Not a sincere apology to Han Jun-woo, who was actually hit, but just an apology that the angry Father wanted to receive.
“……”
I thought that when Go Yohan came back from the unpleasant pilgrimage of apologies, I would agree with him and cheer him up. I thought that was my role. But Go Yohan didn’t go to Han Jun-woo’s Father, and Han Jun-woo’s Father didn’t come to the school. This intrigued me.
I have a habit of digging up any suspicious situation that I can’t predict, and then choosing between acquiring or excluding the resulting product. So the method I came up with was very simple. It’s a ridiculous and childish scheme, like a child’s trick.
“Hey. Go Yohan…”
“Lee Seok-hyun!”
Just as I, who had devised a trivial plan, finally spoke, Go Yohan had already thrown the rubber ball on the floor and was calling Lee Seok-hyun while eating a snack that I don’t know where he got it from. My eyebrows furrowed involuntarily. The timing was bad. Damn it.
“But did someone just call me?”
Oh, I was about to fall back into thought when I heard him suddenly looking for me, so I pricked up my ears. Did he even hear my voice in all that noise? I quickly raised my hand.
“I, I did.”
“…What is it? Why did you call me?”
Before answering, I narrowed my eyes slightly and stretched them sideways. It’s an expression of dissatisfaction.
“If you called me, you should say something.”
Go Yohan flicked his finger while making a clear sound as he rolled his tongue. The action was strangely annoying, so I frowned again. Of course, I was half joking, and Go Yohan is the type who can take a joke as a joke, so it doesn’t really matter.
“You said you’re bored after school, right?”
“Yeah. Totally.”
“Are you free tomorrow? I don’t go to the academy then.”
Let’s live by calculating how to avoid losing out in any way. First, let’s create an opportunity. I smiled proudly. After hearing my suggestion, Go Yohan pointed at me. And what he said was truly a sight to behold.
“Don’t tell me you want to hang out?”
“Huh? Yeah.”
“You and me? Doing what?”
What’s with this reaction? Strangely, my face hardened at the lukewarm response.
“What… just wandering around or something.”
“What for?”
“What do you mean, what for? Just like we usually do.”
“What? Usually? Have you ever hung out with me outside separately?”
His mocking tone annoyed me, and I frowned. Come to think of it, it was a mistake to say ‘usually’ since we’ve never spent time together alone. Is he making fun of me now, seriously? Damn it. My face flushed in an instant. Shit, is he trying to embarrass me like this?
“Never mind if you don’t want to.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t want to.”
He didn’t say it, but he was being sarcastic.
I bit back the words I wanted to say and closed my mouth. What is this guy? I was about to continue speaking, but suddenly realized and sealed my lips.
Ah, this guy was originally like this.
Wasn’t it already a known fact that Go Yohan is the type who is kind when he feels like it, and distant when he feels like it? Why did I assume that Go Yohan would naturally accept my offer? Did I feel some kind of camaraderie with him because we both had Han Jun-woo as an enemy? Ashamed and pathetic of my foolish thoughts, I immediately pretended to be nonchalant and said brazenly.
“It’s nothing. Forget I said anything.”
However, as soon as I uttered the words, I fell into the abyss of regret. The words I had just spoken sounded like the tone of a boastful child, and my face burned hot. Ah. Pathetic. Pathetic. Kang Jun. I bit my lip tightly and clenched my fist on one hand placed on my leg several times. My right eye furrowed involuntarily. Go Yohan replied.
“Okay.”
He’s so annoying… I turned my body sharply to the opposite side of Go Yohan. What a frustrating bastard.
High school students have no rest on holidays. It’s an extension of studying, academies, self-study, and advanced learning.
But I have no parents by my side. There’s no one to monitor me. It’s a good thing to be a child neglected under the guise of busyness. In that respect, I was a high school student who knew how to enjoy freedom to a considerable extent, but the holiday was shattered by a surprise air raid.
The cause is Go Yohan.
-Hey. The world has gotten so much better, hasn’t it? Hospitals even have restaurants.
The sudden contact caught me off guard, and I wondered why the guy who had clearly rejected the offer was looking for me again. Ah, but when I think about it, I remember that he’s originally a selfish guy, so my heart fluctuates.
“Why did you call?”
-I suddenly thought of you… Let’s grab a meal. I’ll treat.
This bastard, seriously. I held my forehead and bit my lip.
“I don’t know.”
I licked the top of my teeth with my tongue. I’m definitely the type who can’t stand being taken advantage of even when I’m in a subordinate position. I didn’t particularly intend to annoy him. It’s just reciprocity. And as I was thinking about how to hang up, I suddenly remembered Go Yohan’s first words.
“But you said you’re at the hospital now?”
For this reason, my rest was returned and went to Go Yohan.
If the hospital where Go Yohan was wasn’t a large hospital and was quite far from home, my plan would have flowed the same as usual, but the place that came out through the airwaves was a fairly large hospital and close to home, so I gladly accepted Go Yohan’s invitation.
Go Yohan, who was said to be waiting in the hospital lobby, was sitting on a bench. With his legs spread wide apart, he just shook his hand once as if to dust it off as soon as he saw me, which was his only greeting. I didn’t accept the greeting, but stood there and squinted my eyes, looking at Go Yohan’s face.
“Why didn’t you take off the bandage on your nose?”
“I have my reasons.”
“Is it still bleeding? Hasn’t the wound healed yet?”
“It’s healed. Don’t worry.”
While I was talking, Go Yohan, who had gotten up and come next to me, put his arm around my shoulder.
“Let’s go eat. My treat.”
“This is just the underground food court.”
“What, shit… Does the food court give out free meals?”
“You’re showing off with so little…”
I glared at Go Yohan. Go Yohan just snorted with an arrogant face. We went down to the hospital basement to order a mediocre lunch to fill our stomachs, and while waiting for the food, I asked Go Yohan.
“But why the hospital all of a sudden?”
“Huh?”
“Did you come because of the wound on your face?”
“Ah.”
He pointed directly at my face with his finger. He kept gently stirring around my lower face, so Go Yohan waved his hand and answered in a very light tone.
“No, Han Jun-woo is hospitalized here.”
“…What?”
The air became heavy. I stopped tapping the table with a light rhythm with my fingers. I felt my body stiffen. Why would he go to the hospital where Han Jun-woo is hospitalized? I’m the only one who’s confused. Only Go Yohan answered nonchalantly.
“I’m going to show you something fun.”
“What on earth?”
“Han Jun-woo’s Father is in the hospital room. It’s amazing. I called him.”
I moved my lips. The words that should be uttered after ‘How?’ only lingered inside and didn’t come out. Go Yohan was flicking the fork in the air and only told me about the reason.
“I’m a person who believes in Jesus. Forgiveness! Kya. What a beautiful and brilliant word. My religion tells me to ask for forgiveness and receive forgiveness, so how can I not do that?”
“Just for that reason? You’re doing that? You’re asking for forgiveness?”
“Yeah.”
Go Yohan frowned and smiled.
“I don’t want to go to hell.”
He’s a guy who does whatever he wants. Go Yohan is.
“…Do you think he’ll forgive you just for that reason?”
The schemes that come out of an eighteen-year-old’s head are all the same. Isn’t an apology from children who are barely old enough to count on their fingers and toes, with all their hands and feet, just a shallow trick that doesn’t show sincerity and is obvious?
“Just for that reason, you say? That’s harsh. Don’t you know that saying?”
Go Yohan leaned forward. He bent his back, which had been pressed against the chair, and looked at the ceiling. Go Yohan crossed his arms and was still smiling. Go Yohan’s face is very gloomy and depressed, so even his smiling face tends to not look very bright.
“Men are either dogs or children.”
“…Seriously.”
“I’m not a dog, so whether we get older or not, we’re all the same as children, so what’s so different?”
It would be a problem if Han Jun-woo’s Father was a dog, though. Go Yohan made a pointless joke and unfolded his arms. I look at Go Yohan with a dumbfounded expression. Thinking that Go Yohan’s absurd logic never distinguishes between time and place.
“Hey, the vibration bell is ringing?”
Go Yohan jumped up from his seat and snatched the vibration bell.
“Keep an eye on my stuff.”
“No, what stuff do I have…”
Go Yohan, who didn’t even listen to my words, appeared with a tray in each hand. Honestly, I was a bit taken aback. Go Yohan’s hands were big enough to hold a tray in one hand, but
“Aren’t those heavy?”
“Not really. I don’t know?”
I blankly watched him put them on the table without struggling. Go Yohan, who saw my spaced-out face, flicked his tongue in his mouth and made a clear sound, saying this.
“Did you perhaps, admire my manners?”
He seems to have misunderstood a bit, though.
“…Shut up and eat.”
“How can I eat with my mouth shut? Like this?”
I ignored Go Yohan, who was putting a spoon to his lips with his mouth tightly closed. Soon, Go Yohan showed his teeth and smiled slyly, sitting back in his seat.
I picked up a spoon and looked at the bowl in front of me. Slowly lowering my hand, I lightly scraped the contents inside. Go Yohan blew on the food to cool it down, then put the spoon back in the bowl. Then he rummages through the side dishes with chopsticks.
I stopped trying to put the food in my mouth and opened my mouth. It’s because my gaze strangely didn’t leave Go Yohan’s hand.
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while. You use chopsticks very properly.”
“Me? Do I?”
“Yeah.”
But it doesn’t suit you somehow. It’s too textbook. I couldn’t bring myself to say that. But as if he was trying to read my expression, Go Yohan, who had been frowning and widening his eyes, suddenly said “Ah!” and smiled grimly.
“You noticed.”
“What?”
It’s a question I asked sincerely. What…?
“You’re pretending not to know, huh? You quick-witted and smart bastard. Okay. I’ll take care of you too.”
What on earth? I frowned because of the words I couldn’t understand at all, and Go Yohan twisted his lips and said.
“That is, when I go to meet Han Jun-woo, you want me to do something… like that?”
“What… never mind.”
It was obvious that it would be nonsense anyway, so I just nodded vaguely.
Go Yohan, who finished eating first, just looked at me with his hands in his pockets, and as soon as he confirmed that I had finished eating, he nodded his head towards the hospital elevator. Then, without even wearing a wristwatch, he repeatedly tapped his bare wrist with his finger, urging me.
“I’m done eating, don’t rush me.”
“We have to make it to visiting hours. You’re taking your sweet time.”
“Ah, seriously. I know.”
“Get up, quickly.”
“I got up, I got up.”
“Grab the elevator quickly, quickly.”
“Ah, seriously…”
I ran to the elevator and pressed the button, feeling slightly annoyed.
“Oh, good job!”
“Seriously, you’re so full of it…”
I secretly glared at Go Yohan. So that’s the kind of personality he has when you get close to him. It’s been almost half a year since we became close, and I’m just finding out now. Well, I didn’t really intend to find out.
While waiting for the elevator, Go Yohan smoothed the end of the large bandage attached to his chin with his finger. As a result, the thick bandage that had been firmly attached to his skin began to dangle.
“Is it okay to just tear that off like that?”
“It’s cumbersome. It’s hard to wash my face too.”
The elevator arrived in the time it took to finish the short conversation. As soon as he got in, Go Yohan pressed a certain floor without any hesitation, and while going up, he looked in the mirror and showed his teeth. Even while doing so, he muttered meaningless things like “Ah, they’re straight.”
When I turned my head slightly, the way he was slightly bending his back to look in the mirror, and putting both hands in his pants pockets in the meantime, looked so delinquent. How is he so tall? While instinctively observing Go Yohan, the elevator quickly arrived.
The hallway was very quiet. Go Yohan pointed to the hospital room with his chin.
“That’s the room.”
The slightly parted lips and the eyes that were lowered to look ahead were quite arrogant. I and Go Yohan got off the elevator before the doors closed. However, Go Yohan didn’t move towards the direction he had pointed, and I just stopped behind him and waited for Go Yohan’s reaction.
Go Yohan, who had been standing still for a moment, moved towards the hospital room again. Walking quickly with his unusually long legs, he scratched the adhesive part of the bandage with his fourth finger and tore it off his face in one go.
“Ah. Crazy. That fucking hurt.”
The peeled-off bandage went straight into Go Yohan’s pocket. Go Yohan’s flat pants bulged slightly. Go Yohan turned around and looked at me.
“……”
The exposed chin was full of bluish and dark red colors. To be honest, it was a bit grotesque. But the fact that the owner of the scar was wearing a confident smile felt strange and uncomfortable to me. And to make matters worse, his face is gloomy and looks like he has some kind of ulterior motive.
“How is it? Does it look convincing?”
Go Yohan always spouts nonsense. Everything that bastard says is impromptu and self-serving. He always tries to persuade me with absurd logic, and sometimes he restricts himself by showing unbelievable faith.
“Well.”
Suddenly, Go Yohan’s words from a few days ago came to mind.
As if talking about someone else’s story, he said he went to church for the first time in seven years. He said he made his First Holy Communion at the age of eleven and then made his first confession. His sin was that he hadn’t greeted God for seven years, and he confessed that he stopped by because he thought Father would scold him, but the priest told him it would be difficult if he came with such faith.
‘Ah, I’m sorry. I was about to leave, but I ended up giving the priest’s last greeting. The priest was embarrassed. I only realized it after I left the room. I was so embarrassed I could die. Shit. Why was the prayer written in front of me?’
But Go Yohan will definitely not go to church this week either. Go Yohan is that kind of guy.
‘Well, some church people who know my parents asked me why I didn’t come. Is that the only question they can ask me? What can I do? I have to be consistent.’
Go Yohan chuckled. And watching the guys laugh along with Go Yohan, I nodded. Yeah, Go Yohan is consistent in a strange way. And that consistency has never put me at a disadvantage.
I raised my hand. And I roughly tore off the bandage on my nose.
“Wouldn’t it have to be this much?”
A dark red line was drawn horizontally in the middle of my unusually high nose. Go Yohan looked at me with a smiling face, then folded his eyes into crescents.
“Do you know why Han Jun-woo is an idiot?”
Go Yohan lowered his head slightly, put his face close to my head, and said in a small voice.
“He has no brains. No brains. He doesn’t know that living like that will ruin his life.”
Tap. Tap. Go Yohan’s thin fingers tapped near his pocket.
“That’s why you should have listened to your Father. If you listen to your parents, you’ll get rice cakes even in your sleep.”
So, do you listen well? I swallowed the words I wanted to ask. In some ways, it seems like he listens well. Good job. Really. Go Yohan’s voice was full of laughter. We soon reached a large door, and Go Yohan waited quietly without opening it.
In a short time, I tried to deduce the cause of my actions. Why did I follow him here and agree with Go Yohan’s strange behavior? The most certain reason I can accept is probably because I want to watch Han Jun-woo’s downfall with my own eyes.
I raised my head and looked at Go Yohan’s face. I put my hand on Go Yohan’s back and said in a small voice.
“Let’s go.”
As soon as he heard my words, Go Yohan smiled slightly as if he had been waiting. Then, he swept his hair back with his fingers, messed it up roughly, bent his back, and carefully opened the door. I followed Go Yohan, who stepped out first, into the hospital room.
Han Jun-woo was lying in the hospital room, and next to him was a familiar face. It was Han Jun-woo’s Father. Honestly, I was horrified inside. I really didn’t expect him to be there.
“I’m sorry I’m late. I’m Go Yohan.”
In a brazen manner, Go Yohan raised his head shamelessly and said this. I was inwardly embarrassed, but quickly hid my expression and bowed slightly.
“Hello.”
As soon as I finished speaking, the old gaze that had been looking at Go Yohan reached me. Strangely, he seemed a little surprised.
“…You, aren’t you Jun-i?”
“I met him in front of the hospital lobby. Are you here to visit him?”
But Go Yohan answers. Pretending not to know is quite shameless. Lies come out so easily, like casual greetings. He must have done it a lot. Lying. I was amazed by his shamelessness, but for now, I smiled normally and matched his words. I can’t say no here.
“Yeah. Visiting.”
“Ah. But what to do…”
His worried face pauses his words. Then he hesitates as if he has something to say, which is really blatant. In the end, Han Jun-woo’s Father spoke first.
“I’m really grateful for the visit. Jun-woo will be happy too. But Jun-ah. I’m sorry, but could you leave for a moment? I have something to say to this student.”
“Ah, yes.”
I nodded and quickly left the room. I thought about leaving the door slightly open to listen secretly, but Han Jun-woo’s Father was staring at me so intently that I couldn’t.
So, I don’t know what happened inside.
I stared at the window without anything to do. The clouds were passing slowly. Whether it was a short time or a long time, I don’t know, but the door opened after a time that may or may not have been enough to talk about forgiveness. It was Han Jun-woo’s Father who came out.
“Jun-ah.”
“Ah, Father. Is the conversation over?”
I quickly turned around and bowed again. As the sound of shoes approached, I finally raised my head as if I had been waiting and looked at the face that had given birth to my first illness. He seemed to have gone through a lot. His face looked haggard in just a few months, which made me feel uneasy.
“I’m sorry for kicking you out so suddenly. Jun-woo acted immaturely towards you… But I’m really grateful that you came all the way here. But Jun-woo is currently on medication, so he can’t get up.”
“No, it’s okay. I had to come anyway. It’s a shame I can’t talk to Jun-woo, though.”
“Yes, thank you for understanding.”
Han Jun-woo’s Father sighed softly. The sigh looked so pale that it seemed pitiful. The tiger-like figure who used to rage at everything Han Jun-woo did was gone, and there was only a weak middle-aged man. It shouldn’t be this depressing just because Han Jun-woo got hit a few times. That appearance was a little strange.
“I thought Jun-i would get better if he hung out with you, but lately he’s been doing strange things and hanging out with friends who aren’t in a good environment… And this time again…”
“……”
“Jun-i, do you know a kid named Han Tae-san?”
Han Tae-san. The tips of my fingers trembled slightly. I’m sick of it now. Really.
“Tae-san? Yes. He’s a classmate.”
“What kind of kid is he? Do you know anything about him?”
“Well, he’s kind and good at studying. But he has a difficult family situation. But he worked hard in school…”
“But?”
“From one day, he started hanging out with Jun-woo, and suddenly he hasn’t been coming to school lately, and his grades have dropped a lot…”
“……”
“I don’t know much else.”
I’m sorry, but I don’t want to get deeply involved. But my face was pitiful and sad, as if I was genuinely worried.
Han Jun-woo’s Father took a deep breath and roughly wiped his face with his rough, wrinkled hand. In addition, he gave me a very selfish and annoying greeting, saying that he had to go because he was busy and asked me to take care of Jun-woo. He patted my shoulder lightly and left the hallway. He doesn’t take responsibility for his son. Because he’s an embarrassing son. And what he asked together was for me to watch over Jun-woo until that student left.
As if I would. I went straight into the hospital room and told Go Yohan.
“Go Yohan. He left.”
“Where to?”
“Completely. Outside.”
Go Yohan, who was already sitting in the guardian’s chair, tapped his thigh lightly with his fingers and straightened his back. Then he turned his body around in his seat. The creaking sound of the chair was unusually loud. There was no sign of apology or remorse on Go Yohan’s face. Rather, that bastard waved his hand and gave an amazing greeting.
“Wow. His face is completely wrecked.”
It was Go Yohan who was showing a completely different behavior from the excuse of apologizing. Isn’t that what the person who wrecked it shouldn’t say? Go Yohan mocked Han Jun-woo’s sleeping face, pushing it with his fingers.
“Did you feel good telling your Father? You’re not a kid.”
Go Yohan, who had been grinning, said, “Ah, right,” and took out a pen and a small Post-it from his pocket. The name of a school uniform store was written largely on the Post-it, but unlike the fancy cover, the Post-it attached inside was made of cheap yellow material. When he bit the pen cap with his Canine Tooth and pulled it out, the pen tip was revealed with the sound of air bursting. A short sentence was scribbled on the Post-it. Then, he unnecessarily showed it to me. The Post-it read:
Go Yohan slapped the Post-it on Han Jun-woo’s forehead. And he took pictures of Han Jun-woo’s face as if he was enjoying it. Around the time the clicking sound was heard until I was tired of it, Go Yohan roughly opened Han Jun-woo’s mouth.
“Jun-woo, it’s time for a delicious meal.”
Go Yohan tore the Post-it from his forehead into small pieces. The torn Post-it rolled along his fingers and fell into his open mouth. And his jaw was forced to move. Han Jun-woo’s teeth clattered. Clatter. I heard the sound of them colliding. Go Yohan played with Han Jun-woo’s jaw like that, then looked around and brought a water bottle. And he poured it in.
“What are you doing now?”
“What do you think?”
Go Yohan smiled, pulling up his mouth.
“The Bible said that if someone slaps your left cheek, let them slap your right cheek too.”
“……And?”
“Isn’t Han Jun-woo my enemy? But I only slapped his right cheek, so I came to slap his remaining left cheek too. This bastard won’t willingly offer me his left cheek.”
Go Yohan, who didn’t erase his smile, tapped Han Jun-woo’s cheek with the back of his long fingers.
“Even after hitting him like that?”
“Huh? I didn’t hit him. I retaliated.”
“That’s the same thing.”
“No. It’s not. Jun-ah. Jun-i. As you know, simple assault and self-defense have completely different punishments. Based on the standards set by the state, whether you hit first or you got hit and then hit back. The first one is a very bad guy. The second one is a so-so guy.”
“……”
“I’m a so-so guy.”
Go Yohan pointed at Han Jun-woo, who was lying down, with two index fingers.
“He’s a bad guy.”
And he withdrew his hand and suddenly spoke in a violent tone.
“Then why did you hit someone?”
After strongly pushing his swollen cheek with his right index finger, he snorted. Han Jun-woo’s head turned to the side, and I stared at Go Yohan with a disgusted look. But all he does to get revenge is take pictures and feed him paper. But the eyes that met mine still only smiled, even though they knew the meaning of my gaze.
“What are you looking at like that?”
Go Yohan smiled, pouted his lips, and shrugged his shoulders.
“You’re weird.”
“What is?”
“No matter how much you got hurt, it can’t end with just an apology in that short amount of time.”
“Shit-.”
Suddenly, a curse word popped out of Go Yohan’s mouth. I was startled for a moment and widened my eyes to look at Go Yohan. Go Yohan tilted his head slightly, bit his lip, and glared at me. His gaze looking down at me with his chin slightly raised was not kind.
“He got hit and I got hit, but if we apologize, it’s the same. Am I just a stray dog, and is he some kind of national treasure?”
“No, that’s not it.”
“You’re making people feel bad for no reason.”
What, do you have to be so sarcastic? I was annoyed by his arbitrary tone, as if I was upset, so I spoke in the same sulky tone.
“You’re the one who’s bothering a busy person on a holiday.”
“What? Hey, you were the one who said let’s hang out first. Are you changing your mind? And what. It’s good to help each other.”
“Help each other? Then what do I get?”
“Don’t you know?”
Go Yohan’s changes are always sudden. What was with cursing just now, and now he’s calling me again in an excited voice. It’s a really strange atmosphere. Was Go Yohan like this? Was he this kind of guy?
“Jun-ah.”
I looked at Go Yohan as if possessed. Go Yohan, who pointed at Han Jun-woo with his hand, slowly smiled.
“It’s an opportunity.”
Go Yohan’s low voice urges me.
“I told you I’d take care of you. Isn’t this what you were expecting?”
My eyebrows furrowed involuntarily, and at the same time, Go Yohan’s eyes curved. Looking at those eyes, I thought Go Yohan was more like a vicious demon that had infiltrated the holy place of the church than a devout believer. He’s definitely not a believer. Rather, he’s a religious blasphemer. So, that’s what he meant when he said it lightly at the restaurant.
“……”
But like someone possessed by a demon, I approached and quietly looked down at Han Jun-woo. His face is half-swollen, and he’s sleeping like he’s dead. The first emotion that came to mind when I saw his eyes closed was, of course, not love. I spat on Han Jun-woo’s face.
Actually, I didn’t have to do anything. It would have been moderately okay. I could have just scolded Go Yohan, pretended to be noble, pretended not to fit in anywhere as usual, and remained the innocent Kang Jun who is loved by everyone.
But, I didn’t want to do that. So why did you trample on me? I didn’t express or force my feelings. Why did you crush me? Especially when you were crazy about that cheap love, you bastard. You dog-like bastard.
My resentful anger and betrayal fell on Han Jun-woo’s nose and cheeks. When I had the opportunity to do something to Han Jun-woo, all I did was express my agonizing and self-sacrificing love, but it was such a petty revenge. It was clear that I was no different from Go Yohan.
“Wow, what is it.”
Go Yohan clapped his hands and rejoiced. I wiped Han Jun-woo’s face roughly with the blanket he was covering, as if to get rid of the moisture, fearing that someone would hear us. At that action, Go Yohan finally covered his cheeks with both hands and rejoiced.
“Is this what happiness is, Jun-ah!”
“……What the hell.”
I’m crazy too, but Go Yohan is really crazy.
We left the hospital room in time for visiting hours. Go Yohan hummed a soft tune, and I walked next to him without saying a word. Then Go Yohan, who stopped humming, asked me.
“That’s right, Jun-ah.”
“……?”
“Hey, do you want to go somewhere and hang out today?”
It seems like I finally like you now. You bad bastard. I took a step and answered.
“Sure.”
At those words, Go Yohan suddenly overtook me. Surprised by his shocking action, I raised my head, and he turned around in front of me and put his hand on my shoulder. As if looking at a commendable dog.
“Hey.”
“……What.”
“I kind of like you now.”
It’s as if he’s praising me from above. That subtly pointed nuance was uncomfortable.
I fell into 고민. Should I point out this nuance, or should I pretend not to know and bow my head in front of Go Yohan? The crossroads of choice always come suddenly. Just like now.
How can I make my life go in a better direction? I thought for a while and chose the easier path. Anyway, Go Yohan was someone I wouldn’t see after graduating from high school, but he was still necessary for a smooth high school life.
I smiled slightly and shrugged my shoulders. But I wanted to speak as unhumbly as possible.
“It’s probably just because you and I were on the same wavelength today.”
“Wavelength?”
Go Yohan repeated my words, then gradually stretched his lips and smiled in the sunset.
“Wow. You really hate Han Jun-woo.”
It’s a tone full of obvious sarcasm. But there’s no hostility. A face like cool frost. And Go Yohan with blue mold on his chin. I looked at the dark background of the window where darkness was slowly descending. I could see Go Yohan faintly reflected in the darkened window.
“Thank you.”
Go Yohan, reflected in the window, smiled faintly. His pure white teeth were slightly revealed. What for? For hating Han Jun-woo? Or for finding the teeth that Han Jun-woo broke? I didn’t say the most important fact, so I couldn’t figure out what Go Yohan was thankful for.
“Let’s go.”
“……Okay.”
Still, I started to like Go Yohan quite a bit from the moment I heard those words. I don’t really know when the liking started, but I can say that the time I finally acknowledged it was right now.
These days, I contemplate Go Yohan. It’s because Go Yohan is everywhere my gaze reaches, strangely. It’s not that I’m strange. If anything, Go Yohan is strange. Go Yohan is petty and narrow-minded, and unlike his pursuit of a celibate life, he has a great sexual curiosity.
“Fella is the best. My girlfriend does it for me every weekend. Hey? You guys don’t know? An older brother told me that Ejaculate is good for a woman’s skin.”
“No wonder when I went with the kids last time, they just told me to spray it on my face.”
“I think that’s because they’re disgusted by eating your Ejaculate?”
“That’s your story.”
“No, your story.”
“Fella is honestly better done by the girls who get paid. They’ve done it so much, they know the techniques.”
“Shit. A girlfriend has love, you know? Love.”
“Free pussy, isn’t it?”
“You son of a bitch, you wanna die? Seriously.”
The guys in school who were considered fairly good-looking mostly had relationships with their girlfriends, while the ugly ones who liked to show off would pool their money and lose their virginity at a room salon. Honestly, most high schoolers lost their first time at a room salon, so Han Jun-woo’s one-night stand at a club was a dream fantasy for the incompetent. That’s why these dimwits were so enthusiastic about Han Jun-woo’s story.
For men, the number of times they’ve had sex is like the number of medals they’ve earned, so when it’s passed from mouth to mouth, whether it’s a girlfriend or a prostitute, they’re just someone who gave the man a medal. That shy act that was done in secret is treated the same as a grainy sex video that you can find with a quick search on the internet. As if it’s something to be proud of. Those pathetic sluts.
From the perspective of those sluts, Go Yohan is also a moron who hasn’t earned any medals, but Go Yohan treats them like morons instead.
“Shit. What is this? Aren’t these all sluts?”
Looking at this situation, it’s easy to see why Go Yohan came to dislike Han Jun-woo. Maybe, by his standards, he can’t stand to leave the germs that eat away at society alone. Whether it’s prostitution or homosexuality.
“Get lost before you start reeking of STDs.”
Go Yohan’s tone was always playful, but clearly aggressive, putting others down. So, the individuals in the group that Go Yohan was lumped into felt unpleasant. Here, the hierarchy is revealed again. The lower guys just laugh it off, but those close to Go Yohan in the hierarchy would retaliate with a mix of playfulness and sincerity, just like Go Yohan did.
Most of it was done by Kim Min-ho, and the main weapon was Go Yohan’s ignorance about sexual experience.
“Aish, come on. Why is the virgin butting in here? Get lost, you cherry.”
But Go Yohan just smiles slyly, like a snake.
“I’m butting in because what you guys are saying is so pathetic.”
“What the fuck? What do you know? A virgin talking shit.”
“Take a good look. I’m doing you pathetic high schoolers who can only talk about Fella a favor because you’re so pathetic.”
Go Yohan, smirking, opened his mouth. A slender finger poked the middle of his tongue.
“This is Fella.”
Next, he opened his mouth wide enough to see his throat, then put his finger deep inside and pulled it out.
“That last part was a deepthroat.”
This time, he tilted his head slightly. He took his slender finger out of his mouth and poked between his chin and neck.
“This inside is Imaratio, kids. You have to reach that far to be a man. Is your dick so small that you only know Fella? That damn Fella. Seeing you guys constantly shouting about Fella makes my heart ache. The only place you’re touching is the tongue? What are you gonna do if your dick is the same size as when your mom changed your diapers? If your mom sees you naked, she’ll probably be reminded of the old days and change you into a Huggies.”
“Damn. Where do you know that stuff from? Knowing you, you’re probably doing it behind our backs, aren’t you?”
“No. I read, books. You idiot. Books. You idiot.”
Go Yohan tapped the face of the guy who had just pointed him out with a thin book each time a syllable was cut off. Shee-bal! Gruff voices that had gone through puberty laughed gruffly.
I was talking to An Jisu about the pop quiz near the front of the classroom at that time. An Jisu often took a guarded attitude towards me, who was clearly lower in grades than her, and as evidence of this, she always asked me about my grades after the exam. And she was just as sensitive about her own grades. She was very sensitive when she found factors that lowered her grades.
Most of the reasons were the noise pollution from the back of the classroom.
“Ah, it’s really noisy……”
She muttered in a small voice, as if it was a soliloquy that came out without her knowing, then looked at me, startled. It’s because she knows that there are a few guys in that group who are close to me.
“It’s okay. Honestly, it’s noisy to me too.”
“Ah, no……. Ah. How did you solve question 25?”
An Jisu stretched her neck out and looked at the test paper over my arm. I reached out and pointed at the problem, bit my lip once, and answered in a fairly generous voice.
“I got that one wrong. It was hard.”
“Really? Ah, I got it right for now. But I’m not sure.”
So what. You idiot.
“Then isn’t it better to ask Teacher than me? I’m not sure.”
“I’m trying to double-check before asking, just to organize my thoughts. You’re good at studying.”
An Jisu glanced at me and smiled slightly. There’s no way to know if it was a smile that came naturally while talking, or if she was smiling because she liked this situation. But An Jisu is a smart girl. If I get jealous here for no reason, I feel like I’ll be like a dog that lost a fight, so I pretended to listen to An Jisu’s interpretation, which I didn’t really want to hear.
In other words, we’re both shady inside.
“Contestant number 1. It’s Park Dong-cheol with a bouncy ass!”
If I turn my ears back to the back, the topic has already moved on to somewhere else.
“Okay. Dong-cheol, are you ready?”
“Yes!”
Giggles echo loudly, beyond whispers.
“Seriously, you crazy bastard! Hey! Yohan! Look at this! He’s gone crazy, this bastard!”
“That’s so funny. Go Yohan. Look quickly! Isn’t that guy crazy, this!”
At the commotion, I put my hand on the printout on An Jisu’s desk and turned my body. I felt An Jisu also following me and looking at the back of the classroom.
“Ugh, ugh!”
Park Dong-cheol was putting the neck of a cider bottle into his mouth. And he pursed his lips, and with his hands, he grabbed the body of the bottle and slowly moved it back and forth. I frowned.
“What are they doing now?”
“I don’t know.”
I shook my head at An Jisu’s words. But I certainly didn’t not know what was happening. I was just embarrassed by the situation that was happening.
“Seriously, what are they doing……”
The speed of the green bottle going in and out of Park Dong-cheol’s mouth gradually increased, and the depth of entry became even deeper. The splashing sound inside the bottle became louder, and the cheers of the guys around him became even louder.
“Dong-cheol, you crazy bastard!”
“That bastard’s doing it hardcore!”
The green bottle curved as it bent, and sometimes it came completely out of Park Dong-cheol’s mouth, and it was clear that Park Dong-cheol’s tongue was tightly blocking the hole in the bottle. The speed was getting faster and faster, and Park Dong-cheol sat on the chair and spread his legs. And he bent his back and looked at the floor.
White foam was flowing down from Park Dong-cheol’s mouth. The cider foam ran down Park Dong-cheol’s chin and wet the wooden floor.
“Oh! Oh! Oh!”
Oh. Oh. The short exclamations gradually rang out loudly in a fast rhythm, and Park Dong-cheol, who had been bending over in half, suddenly stood up. At the same time, he straightened his back and took the bottle out of his mouth. As the mouth of the bottle and Park Dong-cheol’s tongue separated, the foam that had been blocked somehow flowed out.
“I’m cumming, I’m cumming!”
Park Dong-cheol lowered his arm, put the cider near his genitals, and shook it wildly. The guys nearby raised their arms to avoid it, but they couldn’t avoid getting cider all over their school uniform sleeves.
“Ah! Shit! That’s dirty!”
“Keuheuheuh. You pathetic bastard!”
Traces of cider foam remained slightly on Park Dong-cheol’s mouth, and the droplets hanging from the end of his chin dripped onto his shirt. The mouth of the bottle was already facing the floor. All the liquid was scattered nearby or plummeted to the floor, leaving a dark brown stain. It’s really disgusting.
“…….”
Do you want to be in that group that much? Park Dong-cheol’s desperate talent is so pathetic that I can’t even bear to look at it. When I turned my head, An Jisu was also frowning, probably thinking the same thing. In the meantime, Go Yohan wiped his chin as if pressing it with his thumb and smiled.
After that day, the boys in our school followed Go Yohan and used the word Imaratio instead of Fella.
Not long after, Han Tae-san, who had unintentionally been released from Han Jun-woo’s confinement, returned. That was really uncomfortable for me.
After the class started and two periods had passed, the front door of the classroom opened carefully. Most of the students played noisily near the back door during break time, so it was an excellent choice if they didn’t want to be noticed.
However, the guys who had been outside for a long time had cold air on them, so they were bound to be caught by the guys who had a keen sense of smell. Of course, Han Tae-san was no exception.
“…….”
Because of Han Tae-san’s appearance, silence fell in the classroom. At the same time, it’s safe to say that everyone was looking at Han Tae-san. The guy was surprised by the quiet atmosphere in the classroom, so he lowered his face and walked quickly to his seat, which had been empty for a while.
Even though it had been empty for a long time and was quite dirty, Han Tae-san didn’t properly wipe away the accumulated dust and dirty waste, and just kept his head down. The silence gradually disappeared, and some of the people inside the classroom let out a chuckle as if to be heard.
“He managed to come to school. That pathetic bastard.”
“Hey, he can hear you.”
I just rested my chin on my hand and thought. Han Tae-san really doesn’t have anything going for him. As the classroom became less crowded, hyenas looking for fun bit their prey. The guy who shouted loudly from the center of the classroom, as if to be heard, is a typical example.
“Do you know how many gays there are in the world? I saw it on the internet? There’s a ratio of three gays in every high school class. Hey. Think about it. This means there are three gays in this classroom right now. Three!”
“One is Han Jun-woo. One is Han Tae-san. Then who’s the other one? Shit. Come out quickly. Hmph. Don’t covet other people’s asses. Come out when I’m being nice.”
Ah. That’s dirty! A piece of paper tightly crumpled into the size of a fist flew and hit the head of the guy who was threatening. It’s all a joke. But for Han Tae-san, it wouldn’t have felt like a joke.
In the midst of the commotion, Go Yohan, who was in a group, suddenly looked at me. Our eyes met as if they were tangled. I asked with my lips.
‘Why.’
Then Go Yohan pointed to himself with his index finger.
‘Me?’
It sounds like he’s asking if I was looking at him. I reflexively answered roughly.
‘What.’
When I told him with my lips, Go Yohan smiled and buried his face in his desk. Our conversation becomes quiet in the midst of the chaos. I wondered if I should stop them from bullying Han Tae-san, mixed with a sense of guilt and vile sarcasm, but the need to worry disappeared before I could step in. It’s because Homeroom Teacher stepped in that afternoon.
“Listen up, everyone!”
As soon as Homeroom Teacher confirmed that Han Tae-san had come to school, she rushed into the classroom and slammed the attendance book down. Homeroom Teacher, who felt guilty about the series of events, glared and looked for the guys who were leading the bullying. Homeroom Teacher said.
“If there’s anyone bullying Tae-san, tell me quietly. You can send me a text. You all know my number, right? I’ll definitely keep your name anonymous. I will. And if you report it, I’ll give you something in return. But the kid who gets reported to me has to be prepared. You can’t do whatever you want anymore. The school is noisy right now because of this incident. You know that our school was selected as an excellent high school, and you know that the principal is paying attention, right? Now, if you mess up, you might get expelled right away. Got it? You all know that it can have a big negative impact. Do you understand?”
There aren’t many guys in our class who are strong enough to act as confidently as Han Jun-woo, and even if it was middle school, there’s no one in high school, especially in a general high school, who would risk getting demerit points after their spirit has been broken once. But because of the rebellious attitude of wanting to do more if they’re told not to, persistent bullying remained. Fortunately, it wasn’t enough to get on my nerves.
“Yeeees-.”
A half-hearted answer echoed in the classroom.
But what I found unpleasant was not the fact that Han Tae-san was being bullied, but Han Tae-san’s gaze that occasionally brushed against me.
Han Tae-san is looking at me. Secretly.
I pretended not to notice Han Tae-san’s gaze. Behind me, Go Yohan poked my back hard with his unusually long finger. And he made a nasal sound.
“Eueueheum.”
“What, stop it.”
“Hey. Han Tae-san is subtly looking at you, you know? A lot too. Constantly.”
Go Yohan said with a sneer on his face. I was annoyed by that expression. I feel bad. I turned my body slightly and warned Go Yohan in a low voice.
“Don’t look at him.”
“Why?”
“They’ll find out that I know he’s looking at me. I don’t like it. I’m going to pretend I don’t know.”
“He’s looking at you so desperately? You’re not really interested?”
“I’m not, so please be quiet.”
“Okay.”
Go Yohan covered his mouth with his hand and laughed, then answered soon after.
“Okay. Look ahead.”
While waving his hand. I looked at Go Yohan’s hand, then turned my body back to its original position and focused on the class.
When the class was over and I was packing my bag, Go Yohan tapped my shoulder lightly. When I turned my head to look at him, Go Yohan made a ‘click’ sound with his mouth and pretended to shoot me with his hand.
“Let’s go together.”
“I’m going home?”
“Yeah. I’m going home too?”
“But why are you going towards my house?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“…….”
“And, now that I think about it, it’s ridiculous. Did you lease that road? Are you the only one who lives in that neighborhood?”
I tried to refute, but I gave up on refuting because the things I wanted to say were long and pathetic excuses like, ‘My school and home aren’t that far apart, so I usually walk, and most of the neighborhood I live in is private houses, so there aren’t many residents, so I know that there’s no one in our school who lives in the same neighborhood as me.’
“Let’s go together, then.”
At my words, Go Yohan slung his bag over his shoulder and put his hands in his pockets. And he quickly winked one eye and smiled crookedly. I think I made a blank expression at that action, and Go Yohan said this.
“Why are you laughing?”
Was I laughing? I touched my mouth with my hand without realizing it. Go Yohan ridiculed me for that.
“I’m lying. You idiot.”
“Ah, seriously.”
I’m at a loss for words at the surge of absurdity. Go Yohan couldn’t hold back his laughter and changed his words while giggling.
“Sorry, I’m not lying. Why are you laughing?”
I lightly hit Go Yohan’s back with my fist. Go Yohan laughed and dodged my fist, then made a fuss for no reason and went out of the classroom.
I looked at his back for a moment, then immediately followed him out of the classroom. Then I only walked the road to my house, and Go Yohan followed me next to me. There wasn’t even any trivial talk. Go Yohan just had a lollipop in his mouth and was sucking on it. I wasn’t particularly uncomfortable with the silence, so I just moved my feet. Then Go Yohan spoke first.
“About Han Tae-san.”
“Han Tae-san?”
There’s no one to hear, but Go Yohan even unnecessarily bent his back slightly and put his palm to his mouth and whispered softly right next to my ear.
Every time he spoke, I could hear the candy scraping against Go Yohan’s teeth, and sometimes the candy stick brushed my cheek as Go Yohan’s lips moved. Go Yohan’s thick voice scratched my ear little by little, like a small bug crawling on thin skin.
“Yeah, actually, I heard it from Homeroom Teacher, no. Prince went to the faculty room and heard it? He told me.”
“Lee Seok-hyun?”
“Well, he’s been with Han Jun-woo all this time.”
The steps didn’t stop. Surprisingly, I didn’t think much about it. Maybe it’s because I expected it. He was with Park Seung-wan while dragging Han Tae-san around, and after getting caught, he went home and forcibly let Han Tae-san go. It’s obvious.
“Ah. Really?”
“Han Tae-san was finally freed from Han Jun-woo’s surveillance when Han Jun-woo got hurt. But, Han Tae-san should be grateful to me. Why is he only looking at you so desperately without a word of gratitude? That’s absurd.”
He’s still whispering. I nodded, accepting the whisper without saying anything.
“Anyway, Han Tae-san has entered the path of ruining his life because of Han Jun-woo’s tantrum.”
Go Yohan rolled his tongue and made a ‘pop’ sound, then scratched his neck horizontally with his thumb. I frowned involuntarily. I felt a little weak at the unnecessarily fluctuating feeling.
“I guess so, he’s pathetic.”
“It’s like a good citizen who was hit by a drunk driver.”
Africa, a weak herbivore born into a life of being hunted by lions. Is Han Tae-san a good citizen like a weakling who can only be eaten?
I thought of Han Tae-san’s dark eyes. Come to think of it, herbivores have big, round eyes, just like Han Tae-san. But for a very petty and pathetic reason, yet a reason that touched my pride, I didn’t particularly like Han Tae-san.
“To be honest.”
“Huh?”
“I don’t really like Han Tae-san.”
The fact that I could say that as it is meant that I thought pretty highly of Go Yohan. I was surprised at myself for saying it. I even regretted being honest. Go Yohan, having heard my true feelings, smiled slightly, as if he had been waiting for me to say that. Maybe it was just my imagination.
“Somehow, I thought so.”
His cool face became even more slender. His already cold face looked even colder.
“I understand. It’s like how I hate Han Jun-woo. It’s like that.”
“You hate Han Jun-woo?”
I was really surprised. Not a mechanical reaction, but genuinely surprised, and I ended up raising my voice. Of course, seeing them fight, you’d think he’d hate him, but this tone was as if he had hated him even before the fight. It sounded as if it was obvious that he hated Han Jun-woo. But Go Yohan, on the contrary, only smiled with his mouth, as if surprised.
“Wow, look at you pretending not to know. How hypocritical.”
“No, since recently? Or from before?”
Speculation crept up. Go Yohan, a devout Catholic. So, is he homosexual? Is he hating Han Jun-woo because he really did something gay? In an instant, I felt like I was plummeting to the ground. It felt like a heavy weight was tied to my heart. I felt uneasy. Scared. Disgusted.
Go Yohan, who had straightened his back at my words, looked down at me quietly and clicked his tongue. Tsk. Feeling like I was being rebuked, I looked down at the floor once, then carefully looked up at his cold face. Go Yohan seemed to be thinking about something for a moment, then soon changed the subject.
“By the way, do you know why Han Jun-woo can’t come back?”
“Ah, seriously.”
I threatened Go Yohan, raising my fist slightly. But, honestly, I didn’t particularly want to hear the former answer with my own ears. Was it a defense mechanism, or guilt? I might have wanted to avoid that terrible answer.
“What is it?”
Go Yohan lowered his head. He put his hand closer to my ear than before and whispered even more softly.
“Han Jun-woo’s family went bankrupt.”
“…What?”
I must have been too surprised. I could feel my voice trembling. Of course, that was inevitable. I anxiously asked, wondering if this was another one of Go Yohan’s lies, and the guy who had dropped the bomb smiled mischievously.
“Totally- bankrupt. Han Jun-woo’s dad. His company was already faltering, and he was even caught up in embezzlement crimes. He lost his management rights, and his only son is terrible at studying, young, and there are strange rumors going around these days, so what power would he have? He had everything taken away by his uncle, who had been grinding his teeth. He became a beggar in an instant. That bastard. He looked down on that loser Han Tae-san so much. No, he looked down on the kids in our class so much. He’s even poorer than those bastards. And you know what? Just between you and me? Han Jun-woo’s dad. He’ll be arrested soon. He might even be on TV. This is just between us.”
In an instant, I felt like a small stone was hitting my chest. It was because Go Yohan’s finger was bent, and he tapped my chest with his prominent first knuckle as if knocking. I stopped walking, turned my neck slightly, and looked directly at his chilling face, which was barely visible. Go Yohan raised one side of his lips and confidently assured me.
“This is really not a lie.”
I had a bad feeling. My instincts had hardly ever been wrong. This was really not a lie. I took a step back. But Go Yohan, as easily as he had dropped the bomb, broke the subtle boundary and our silence with such ease.
“Oh, right, Jun-ah. I think I’m crazy.”
“What?”
“I left my homework at school. Crazy. I’m screwed.”
“The one that’s due tomorrow?”
“Yeah. Shit, I’m fucked. I’m going back to get it.”
A fist with moderate force touched my chest.
“See you tomorrow. Sorry I can’t go with you.”
I don’t know if my chest broke from the fist that touched me, but just as I felt like something wet was about to leak out from under my chest, he took off far ahead.
[To be continued in Volume 2]