4 – Merry Holiday (Side Story 2.4)

In the winter of my twenties, after passing through nineteen, there were facts I didn’t know and familiar air currents spreading. The media and imagination were full of fantasies. I was old enough to be called a proper adult, but the square classroom still existed.

The twenties I had so longed for were nothing special. It was just that I could choose between a square life and a life of untamed wilderness. That was all. As someone who wanted a stable life, I naturally chose the square life, but life doesn’t always go as planned. Just like right now.

“I’m screwed.”

I muttered to myself. It’s 11 a.m. now. On the desk is an exam paper. And written on the blackboard is the word ‘Open Book’. It’s an open book, right? With trembling hands, I searched through the handouts and lecture notes, but I couldn’t find the answer the question was asking for.

In contrast, the seats next to me, in front of me, and behind me were frantically writing down the subjective questions. The sound of the ballpoint pen tip hitting the plywood desk seemed to be chasing right behind me. I read the question that only I couldn’t understand a whopping eleven times.

Did Kang Suhyun learn her terrible Korean grammar from Professor?

That’s right. If our school’s mechanical engineering department is about the level of a local medical school, then of course he would have studied well. Shit, it was the shadowing learning method. No, I don’t have time for this.

First, I clenched my molars tightly. Then, I broke down all the words in the question and classified them as whether I had heard them in class or not. I excluded the words I had never heard before. Next, I wrote down all the trivial information I remembered along with the words I had heard before.

After linking together the seemingly related things from the scribbled sentences, I pressed hard between my eyebrows once with my index finger. I lowered the finger that had been touching my eyebrows and pressed hard between my chin and neck. And with my remaining right hand, I created a nonsensical novel. Still, it was based on the information the Professor had taught me. If I got stuck, I searched through the lecture notes and pulled out plausible content.

Why is he putting things on the exam that he never said in the lecture? While writing, I felt a sense of injustice rising up, and I pressed down hard on the pen, causing the ink to smudge, but I didn’t have time to worry about such things.

I squeezed out all the memories I had, packaged them up, and had only 15 minutes left. I put the ballpoint pen tip on the last remaining space and pondered.

Should I write a letter, or not? If I write it, what should I say? Shit, Professor. Why are you trying to make my life so fucked up? Why are you putting things on the exam that weren’t in the lecture?

Then, the D that was clearly visible appeared before my eyes. I shook my head.

Then… Dear Professor. I am an enthusiastic student who has never missed your class… But why did you make the exam like this?

“There’s no answer.”

That’s it. Let’s just not write it. I threw the pen down on the desk.

There were only about seven people left in the lecture hall. Judging by their faces, they seemed to be in a similar situation to me. They were sitting still with bored faces, and when I got up, they looked like they were thinking, ‘Finally, one more person is leaving,’ and got up abruptly, which felt even pathetic.

I handed in the exam paper at the front desk, returned to my seat, packed my things, and turned on my phone. Dozens of messages were piled up in the silent machine. Such a thing was rare in my life, which was so devoid of friends that it was in the negatives, so I checked with curiosity and was surprised to find that it was the department’s group chat room.

I slung my bag over my shoulder, quietly pushed in my chair, and checked the contents.

「Deleted content.」

「Deleted content.」

「Don’t talk about jb here. This is the announcement room.」

The movement of opening the door stopped, and my thoughts stopped as well. Hesitantly, I took a step out, and the door closed with a reaction. I stood in the empty hallway, staring blankly at that one sentence.

“There was a cheat sheet for this exam?”

It seems I’m really screwed.

There were too many variables in college to survive as an outsider than in high school. Because I went around alone without knowing any department classmates, I didn’t know at all that a cheat sheet was circulating for this Professor’s major exam.

No, why, why? Shouldn’t college be a fair place? If you got in by using your brain, you should compete with your brain until the end. Why are you using tricks and being a jerk?

As I went down the stairs in a daze, I was already on the first floor. My feet touched the floor, and my eyes met a familiar figure. A man who was clearly tall even though he was squatting on the floor. He had his elbows on his knees and was staring intently at his phone screen, an ordinary pose, but strangely noticeable.

The exam was over, and the empty lobby was terribly cold. But why does that guy even make the cold temperature seem like it’s his own?

He didn’t say he would come to pick me up after my exam, but I thought he would be there. Go Yohan is strangely perceptive and predictable in these kinds of things, so I burst out laughing. He’s really seriously transparent.

“Yohan…”

Just as I was about to call Go Yohan, the lobby was filled with the sound of a phone ringing. The phone hanging from the end of his long, white fingers was the culprit. He looked at the screen, raised one eyebrow, clicked his tongue, and answered the phone.

“What.”

I stopped walking and stood still. And I adjusted the bag I had slung over my shoulder. My feet were stuck to the floor and wouldn’t move. There’s a reason for that. It’s because my gaze was directed between his widely spread legs. I didn’t intend to. It’s only natural that my gaze went to the zipper with its zigzag wrinkles and the center line, especially after what happened yesterday.

“Shut your mouth and don’t talk nonsense.”

He has a terribly foul mouth. If you look at his gentle tone and smiling face, it seems like he’s joking, but frankly, his tone is too harsh even for a joke.

“If you contact me from now on, you’re dead.”

He smiles, revealing his white teeth, and hangs up without even listening to the answer. The phone that had fallen from his ear was placed in front of his eyes again. His smiling expression gradually returned to a blank one, and his hands and eyes moved quickly as if he was reading a message.

I groaned inwardly. And just as I was about to move my feet, the same sound filled the lobby again. Go Yohan twisted his lips and answered the phone roughly.

“I told you that if you keep calling, you’re dead.”

My hands are still on the railing, and his back is against the wall.

“If you keep calling me unnecessarily, I can’t answer important calls. You son of a bitch.”

His attitude of only saying what he wants to say and hanging up is really trashy. Why does he have friends? I don’t. I was frustrated like that, but suddenly I realized. Ah, that’s right. There’s one more thing I learned from the square life.

People who exist from the beginning to be noticed by others and people who are noticed by effort are clearly different. Knowing that fact, and as someone who once desperately wanted to be noticed by others, I should be disgusted by the flamboyant son of a bitch leaning against the wall.

Strangely, I felt itchy inside and stroked the cold part of the railing with my fingers. I erased the thought of moving my feet just before. With a slight upward curve of my lips, I pressed the 0 button on my phone.

Again, the same bell filled the lobby. It’s the third time. However, this time the reaction was particularly different. The guy’s eyes, which had been looking at his phone, blinked quickly once. Then he raised his fist to his mouth and,

“Ahem.”

He cleared his throat. The long legs that had been squatting down went up in an instant. Finally, his back was off the wall. The guy who let out a long breath finally answered the phone.

“Hello.”

-Hello.

Why did I call when I can hear everything? Even I think my intentions are terrible, so I chuckled. This time, I was the one who sat down. This is not some kind of seesaw game.

“Hello?”

-Hello?

The guy tilted his head to the side, narrowed his brow, and asked again. At that, I, who had been tapping my lips with my finger, opened my mouth.

“Am I your honey?”

And immediately regretted it. Ah, really. What did I just do? It’s a mess.

With the sound of sneakers sliding on the floor, a presence rushed in quickly. It seems he’s finally noticed. In the meantime, I’m so embarrassed that I buried my head between my knees. I can’t do it. I can never imitate Go Yohan.

“No, forget it.”

“Forget what.”

His low voice echoed above my head. Every time he moves, the zipper jingles, revealing its invisible presence. Whether he intends it or it’s really a presence that heaven is helping, I swept my ears hard with the back of my cold hand and tilted my head back.

“I think I failed.”

“Your honey?”

“Yeah.”

My voice cracked. Damn it.

“It was a good try.”

Why do you have to answer so seriously? Go Yohan is standing in front of me with his arms crossed, and I feel a presence behind me. I quickly closed my mouth at the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs.

The identity of the presence coming down regularly was one of the remaining final seven, and a classmate whose face I knew. I closed my mouth and looked up, wondering if he had heard anything, and the classmate also looked at me as he came down, and our eyes met. The classmate was the first to greet me.

“Hi.”

“Oh, hi.”

“Well… goodbye.”

“You too.”

The height of awkwardness. The classmate glanced back and forth between me and Go Yohan and passed by. At the same time, I made eye contact with the guy who was scanning the classmate up and down, and the classmate first gave a silent nod and left the lobby. I watched the classmate’s back as he walked slowly and broke the terribly quiet atmosphere.

“We looked like people who were talking behind someone’s back and then shut up when the person suddenly came. He must have thought it was really weird.”

“Who is he?”

But the answer that came back was completely out of the blue.

“Just a classmate.”

“…Are you close?”

What’s with staring intently at the back that has already turned into a dot and can’t be seen? When I’m right here. I felt petty for no reason over something that wasn’t a big deal.

“Not close. That’s why I failed.”

Only then did his eyes turn to me.

“What?”

A faint and small pupil was filled with worry. Worry? It really doesn’t suit Go Yohan. As the upright and brilliant gaze turned to me, I smiled sweetly like a melting jelly, foolishly.

And as I opened my lips, I realized. From the moment I met Go Yohan, the cheat sheet was no longer a big deal to me.

“What failed?”

“Not having friends in the department.”

If I had friends, I would have been told to get a cheat sheet from the seniors. Now, I got up, chewing over the irreversible past.

“I think I was wrong. Should I follow along to a club or volunteer now?”

“Following those things won’t help you in life.”

A strangely prickly voice quickly and heavily hit and passed my ear. I brushed the hand that had been on the floor on my thigh and looked at him.

“It’s too unfair.”

To be exact, I saw Go Yohan’s phone screen, which was turning on all the time. Oh my. My pupils bounced into the air. Frankly, I wasn’t angry, and I wasn’t jealous. I knew it, I knew it, and it was natural considering Go Yohan in high school. It was just a playful joke mixed with envy.

“You have so many friends, but you keep me locked up so much.”

I threw a light jab and lightly hit the back of Go Yohan’s hand, who was holding the phone, with my hand. And as I passed him and tried to move my steps to the end of the lobby, the arm I was shaking was grabbed in an instant. It didn’t hurt particularly, and I was puzzled by the sudden attitude, so I turned around and saw Go Yohan looking at my face with a serious expression that was burdensome.

“What, why…?”

“I won’t meet them if you tell me not to.”

“Huh?”

“They’re not important guys anyway.”

“No, there’s no need to go that far…”

There, there isn’t. The atmosphere suddenly became burdensome, and my mouth became heavy. There’s really no need to do that. Rather, Go Yohan, who was shaking his feet as he looked at me, who was silent, began to spit out words.

“I can cut them off right away if you tell me to.”

That far? I don’t want to do that at all.

Strangely, Go Yohan thought that I would be displeased with ‘his friends’. Not at all. Rather, I felt burdened by Go Yohan’s attitude, which seemed to be expecting something from me, and took a step back, and suddenly I had a thought, ‘Huh’. So, people are most sensitive to the other person like a mirror in the part they are most angry about. Maybe it wasn’t me who was being sensitive, but Go Yohan.

I reached out and grabbed Go Yohan’s arm that was grabbing me. And I asked seriously and quietly.

“Go Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you not like me having friends?”

“……”

Go Yohan’s lips, who had lost his words for a moment, gradually protruded like a duck’s. Ah, that’s right. At the same time as the conviction, Go Yohan nodded his head slightly. His long neck revealed a clean curve. The question of why? burned black like burnt paper. It felt like I knew without asking.

I grabbed the wrist I had been holding even more gently. No way.

“You don’t like me getting close to other people?”

Even in this situation, I lowered my voice, afraid that someone might pass by and hear. I am so timid.

“I know.”

But I had to say what I had to say. This is actually a behavior pattern that is full of my personal feelings. I found out from the beginning of this year, but Go Yohan actually likes it a lot when you take his side, even if he doesn’t act like it.

“I can live well even if I don’t have friends anyway. What I said just now was just because of the cheat sheet.”

Go Yohan grabbed my arm tightly. It doesn’t hurt, but the pressure that is so suffocating climbed up my nerves. I deliberately avoided Go Yohan’s gaze and continued to speak.

“Well, if you search communities, they might post that they’re selling cheat sheets, right? Next time, I’ll just buy it with money.”

“……”

“Then that’s it.”

After taking his side so excessively like this, Go Yohan always becomes quiet. It’s one of the few moments when Go Yohan becomes quiet. One is when he’s sleeping, two is when he’s really angry, and three is when someone takes his side excessively without asking or questioning. The behavior shown in this third situation is really unforgettable.

A blank expression and looking only at the floor. But that, he’s embarrassed.

There’s me, feeling proud of Go Yohan’s expression that only I know. Would Kang Jun believe it if I said to him in the first year of high school, ‘You’re going to do things like letting Go Yohan win all the time just to see his embarrassed face’? He would never believe it. I blamed my foolish past.

And Go Yohan, with his gaze on the floor, glanced at me, who was secretly pleased, and said this.

“You and I should have been in the same department.”

“I know.”

This time again, I pretended to be unfairly disappointed. Again, Go Yohan’s eyes widened as soon as he made eye contact with me, and he hurriedly looked at the floor. Geez, me.

“…I should have known which department you were going to go to in advance.”

What is this again? Just as the complex cube in my head was being solved quickly, Go Yohan abruptly cut off the flow of busy thoughts.

As the thoughts subsided, the cube that had stopped creaked and turned. The tight plastic bar moved, making a sound that tore through the air. When the color red came into the nine faces and the small boxes that had been uneven became cubes, my lips parted.

“Was it you who put in a word to the consulting teacher?”

I heard Go Yohan’s breath stop at my words. I really heard it with my ears. At the same time, my eyes also narrowed.

“You already passed, so you made me apply for sociology to somehow get me into this university, didn’t you?”

“……”

“No way, right?”

Rolling around. His faint pupils rolled to the side. His lips, which had been twisted to one side all along, gathered forward and made a sound of air escaping. Just as his lips, which had been pursing a few times, seemed to be going back in, they spread wide to both sides.

“No?”

Not ‘What are you talking about’, but suddenly ‘No?’ Hmm. I narrowed my eyes even more, filled with suspicion that wouldn’t go away, and Go Yohan avoided my persistent gaze and turned his eyes to the window, blinked his eyelashes quickly, and let out a small exclamation. Thanks to that, I also witnessed the winter unfolding beyond the glass.

“Jun-ah, it’s snowing over there.”

White dust was fluttering down to the floor, passing through the blue sky.

“It is.”

I let out a hollow breath and shook my head. That’s right. Well, it’s okay. I should be grateful that Go Yohan is the type of person who doesn’t dwell on things that have passed. Thanks to that personality, tiring things also happened, but.

While searching for a tiny, barely visible snowflake, I saw Go Yohan in front of me. His cold face and the way he focused on the gently falling snowflakes seemed both fitting and unfitting, like watching an old silent movie in an empty theater.

A frighteningly silent red carpet and chairs radiating coldness. I felt a strange unease, a sense of sitting on a chair with something unknown on it, my body shivering in the deserted chill, a stuffy, pulling pain in my upper chest.

Honestly, snowy landscapes are just cliché. First snowfalls, seen dozens of times in a lifetime, are nothing special. I was just watching the scene illuminated by the light of the silent movie in front of me, my chest aching somewhere because of the subtly shining fluff reflecting that light, and I stood still.

“…Pretty.”

“Pretty.”

Go Yohan repeated my words like someone who had left their mind somewhere. Hearing Go Yohan’s words, I turned my gaze back to the world outside the glass. That’s not what I thought was pretty.

“Will it pile up?”

It’s so like me to not add my true feelings and just throw out other words. Even in this situation, I’m just thinking realistically, ‘If the snow piles up, it’ll be a pain to go home.’ I even bit my lower lip slightly, blaming myself for ruining the mood. People don’t change that easily, I guess.

“If it piles up before we go home, it’ll be fucking annoying.”

“……”

“Why?”

“Just. It reminded me of the old days.”

Suddenly, I remembered the days when I hated Go Yohan. It was annoyingly strange that the thought that we had subtly matching values would suddenly pop up at a time like this.

“What old days?”

“When I first met you.”

By my standards, we met in the second grade. It’s not a lie. But Go Yohan smiles meaningfully at my casual words. What, why is he smiling like that? He even slowly strokes his chin with his right index finger. The annoying thing is, Go Yohan looks pretty cool no matter what he does. Actually, a lot. No, honestly, he’s just cool. It’s really annoying.

“You think of me on the first snowy day? Did it snow when we met?”

“No. That was just my first impression. You’re like a summer monsoon and midwinter.”

“Jun-i didn’t see it that way……”

His meaningful smile is gradually turning greasy. His narrow eyes looking down at me, his nose soaring high, all seemed to be making fun of me.

“What, what.”

“Fuck, what.”

Ruining the mood. Go Yohan muttered to himself, almost inaudibly, and checked the phone he was holding in his left hand. It was ringing again. I wondered if it was the same person who had called earlier, but I knew it wasn’t as his face, which had been lightly annoyed, gradually turned expressionless.

“……”

I know when Go Yohan makes that face. When his family calls.

This time, the bell rang loudly throughout the lobby. But Go Yohan just kept staring at the phone screen, not even thinking about answering the call.

To me, who had grown up like a flower petted in a fence all my life, Go Yohan’s family love was really hard to understand and amazing, but I knew this one thing for sure.

Go Yohan is the most like the leader of his family, and at the same time, the most mutated.

“When that old man dies, I’m going to throw him in a mental hospital and starve him to death.”

See. Things like that. As the uncomfortable electronic sound that filled the lobby stopped abruptly, Go Yohan ran his tongue over his gums. And soon after hearing the message notification, he twitched one eyebrow and muttered quietly.

Here, ‘old man’ means his parents. Go Yohan doesn’t want to admit it, but each of these ways of speaking is like his Father, and each of these actions seemed really mutated.

“Why are they contacting you all of a sudden?”

“There’s just something.”

When I asked Go Yohan, who suddenly became pitiful, he changed the subject. Does he think I won’t ask until the end? All the lies he suddenly makes are obvious. Because they’re so clumsy.

I nonchalantly looked out the window as if to say I understood. When Go Yohan saw me and tried to pick up his phone to look at the screen again, I quickly leaned over and looked at the screen. A few seconds is enough. I’ve always been a fast reader. Because of my speed-reading habit.

「25th. Last warning.」

“25th?”

“Hey, you!”

Go Yohan, startled, reflexively swung his arm. Unfortunately, because I was standing behind him, I ended up getting hit in the chest by his quickly approaching hand blade. There was no time to think. I staggered from the pain, as if I had been hit hard in the upper chest with a brick, and coughed violently.

“Ah……”

“Hey!”

Go Yohan, looking flustered, dropped his phone on the floor and grabbed my chest and back in an instant. You bad bastard. Giving me poison and then medicine. Why is he so unbelievably strong? I felt like stomach acid was coming up because it hurt so much, and I almost teared up, but I barely held it in.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. Are you okay?”

My stomach is still queasy, but I took a long breath and raised my hand lightly. It means I’m okay. I bent over, grabbed my knees, and took a deep breath of the cold air. I lifted my head in that state. The place where I turn my eyes is always the same place. The place where the despair that bloomed brilliantly in my life is.

Wow, I’m even hearing Go Yohan say sorry. And not just a playful apology.

Why did Go Yohan’s face turn even paler than mine? Why would that proud bastard kneel halfway and look up at me so easily? I can’t even get angry.

I also forgave him in my heart, thinking, ‘Yeah. I was trying to look secretly, so how surprised he must have been.’

It seems that I really have a spirit of sacrifice rooted in my body, using affection as fertilizer.

At eighteen, Go Yohan, who I hated the most in the world, is now so lovely. In the first place, getting hit a little wasn’t a big deal. It was okay if Go Yohan was a little selfish, willful, and a bad bastard. I could put up with that much.

When I think about it, I’m so generous, but ironically, the only one who has sacrificed for me is Go Yohan, ‘my despair’. I pressed down on my chest and said.

“On the 25th……”

“Fuck.”

“Shall we go to the amusement park?”

So I have no choice but to treat you well. I didn’t want to date because I knew this would happen.

“On Christmas.”

“That’s not the problem, are you okay!”

“I told you I’m okay. Why are you making such a fuss? I was just a little surprised.”

Why is Go Yohan’s face getting more and more distorted at my excuse? He cooled his already gloomy and cold face even more with an expression as if he had eaten taffy. Moreover, he finally clenched his fist.

“Go Yohan?”

Then he glanced at his left fist, and in the blink of an eye, he hit his own cheek hard with his fist. It happened so suddenly that there was no time to stop him. Blood was seeping out of the side of his lip, as if it had burst.

My thoughts froze and I couldn’t say anything, so I just opened my mouth and reached out my hand, but Go Yohan, with a nonchalant face, grabbed my hand and put it on his red, swollen cheek.

“Go Yohan!”

This crazy bastard. A crazy bastard. Goosebumps ran from head to toe. But contrary to my situation, Go Yohan, who now smiled refreshingly as if everything was done, said.

“Where did you say you wanted to go? Sorry, say it again. I didn’t hear you well. I heard Christmas……”

“Why your cheek……!”

“I’m okay.”

If he was going to say that, he should have gotten up and said it. Go Yohan was still kneeling and looking up at me. And he smiled with a pure face, as if he really wanted praise.

“Why are you making such a fuss? I was just a little surprised.”

I got goosebumps at Go Yohan, who was repeating my words. Is this bastard really crazy? Could it be that he was holding it in? Is he saying the feeling he felt when I said I was okay in this way? To show me?

An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. I remembered Go Yohan, who lived that way. That’s my law. Go Yohan’s words from some time ago flashed by like a photograph taken in a panorama.

What should I, what should I really do with you?

I looked at Go Yohan with a stupid face. What can I give to this bad bastard who is having this strange love? What I, what I can give. I desperately rummaged through my memories and remembered a crumpled Unlimited ride pass. That’s all I could do-.

「Go Yohan r=1−sinθ Kang Jun」

I checked the message that came late at night in the morning and my blood pressure only went up. It’s Kang Suhyun’s doing again. I already have a hard time getting up because of my low blood pressure, but as soon as I checked the message, the back of my neck was so tight that I almost died.

「What is this?」

December 24th. 8:45 AM.

Since the vacation started, all I’ve been doing is going back and forth between my parents’ house and my apartment. It’s because my parents still haven’t come back.

The reason I go back and forth is because of a slightly guilty reason. From the middle of the second semester, my parents would often ask me casually, ‘How is Auntie?’ The uneasy nuance emanating from those seven letters. Moreover, monitoring the actions of an adult who is twice my age is not easy mentally, and it’s not something I want to do, so I kept my distance. I’d rather it be a complete stranger. It was even more uncomfortable because of Go Yohan. I felt like I had been caught with a weakness.

The subtle war of nerves between my parents, me, and Auntie had been slowly starting since I left my parents’ house.

My parents contact Auntie every day to ask her to come to the apartment and clean it, and I have been subtly refusing for half a year. In the end, I persuaded Auntie. Of course, it was a fake persuasion, as always.

‘Auntie, I’ve decided to live with a friend from the same school for a while. Not for a long time. He couldn’t find a studio apartment. I think my friend would be very uncomfortable if you came in often.’

Even then, the answer was just a nonchalant ‘Yes.’ I was relieved and deliberately asked her to visit at a time when no one was there, but as the days went by, the stress I received was immense. Moreover, what was the point of my parents casually leaving a message in the last phone call that I didn’t need to be at school during the vacation, so I should come home and guard the house? And it was with a very intentional feeling.

‘Is Auntie guarding the house well? Are you going home often?’

‘Yes, I’m taking care of it every time.’

‘I heard she’s really using it like her own house. Inviting people without permission.’

‘That never…… happened.’

‘……Jun-ah, you’re going to go home when the vacation starts, right?’

‘Home?’

‘I don’t want to have a headache either. I don’t want to suspect people. Let’s just be good to each other.’

‘Then what about the apartment? It’s going to be empty for almost 3 months. Wouldn’t that be a problem?’

‘Is 3 months empty a big deal? It’s a big deal if the main house is empty. You just have to pay the management fee. Leave it alone.’

Excuses didn’t work. So I had to pretend to be at home to my parents as much as possible.

The fatigue created in that way was strangling me. Now that the vacation has started, my parents will naturally ask Auntie about my life at home. The excuse I made during the summer vacation, ‘I’m going to live with a friend for a while,’ didn’t last long. I need to make another excuse quickly before the vacation gets any longer.

「128」

……6606.4818843257?

What the hell is this……

That dog-like Kang Suhyun is making me even more pissed off when I’m already in a complicated mood. First of all, I threw my phone on the bed.

Kang Suhyun’s intention in sending this message was clear. December 25th. Christmas has come.

It’s absurd, but my and Go Yohan’s official first date…… well, it’s hard to say that, it’s just a place that’s a little hard for guys to go to together…… the first day has come. It was a truly suicidal anniversary. The reason is because I’m embarrassed.

“Haa……”

I slumped to the floor with a sigh. And the weak smile that flowed out with the sigh is definitely not because I’m happy. Absolutely, absolutely, absolutely not. I pressed down on the corners of my mouth that had gone up on their own with my hands.

“When we go out, be unconditionally indifferent. Act like it’s no big deal.”

I think it already seems like a big deal from the fact that I’m muttering this, but I think there’s a difference between saying it and not saying it, even if I know it. If I say it, I’ll at least recognize it. I put strength into my slumped legs and got up from my seat and opened the door.

And I saw a second sight I couldn’t bear to see.

“……”

“Are you up?”

Why is the bathroom in the living room the first thing I see as soon as I open the door and cross the hallway? When did the structure become like this? Probably from the beginning. Also, the reason this situation came about is probably because my and Go Yohan’s sexual relationship started. I turned the wrong tap.

“Hurry up and wash, I have something to show you today.”

“Don’t show me, don’t show me. Please.”

I flatly refused. It was because of Go Yohan’s outfit in front of me. Where did he find it, but he’s walking around without even tying my bathrobe. It’s driving me crazy.

“Please, please tie it tightly in the front.”

Why doesn’t Go Yohan put on clothes after he finishes showering? Because the private room at his parents’ house has a bathroom attached to the living room? But I have that too. I also had a bathroom in my private room, but I didn’t walk around naked. At least I didn’t not wear underwear.

“It’s not the first time you’ve seen it, so why do you hate mine so much?”

Go Yohan pouted and shook his head with a towel. Water droplets splashed from his wet hair, and the moisture that he hadn’t wiped off flowed down his clear abs. It was okay up to that point, but as the water droplets passed his abs and went down, they were wetting his proudly exposed Penis.

What’s even more fucked up is that Go Yohan’s Penis was gradually rising up from the moment it met my eyes. But why is Go Yohan just shaking his head with a blank expression? He’s a really incomprehensible bastard.

I hurriedly turned my face in the opposite direction and mumbled frantically.

“Aren’t, aren’t you ashamed?”

“What are you talking about. I’m not ashamed of anything with you, Jun.”

“Please. I, I……”

“Don’t be like that. You like it so much when I give it to you. You bite it tightly, cry, and cum.”

“Hey!”

“Jok-ing.”

My face was flushed and I shouted without realizing it. I covered my mouth afterwards, but it was already too late. But Go Yohan didn’t care at all, and with the towel on his head, he flicked his Penis up with his index and middle fingers and said this.

“Want to use it?”

I couldn’t stand it anymore at those words and ran back into the room. Even in the midst of that, the distorted scar on the inside of Go Yohan’s thigh remained as an afterimage in my head and tormented me. It seems that Go Yohan didn’t think he could be seen, or he seemed to have forgotten about the existence of his scar for a moment.

Does it make sense that the witness cares more about the scar than the owner of the scar? Especially if that’s the starting point for sexual arousal.

Really, I’m sure I’ve been caught by a seriously crazy bastard. No, I’m sure I’m crazy.

Go Yohan has been happily jumping around these days. I don’t know the cause at all. A few days ago, I witnessed him sitting alone on the sofa and suddenly smiling quietly. Even late at night without turning on the lights. He’s been like that since I showed him the crumpled ticket. Could it be that he really wanted to go to the amusement park?

Come to think of it, it’s been 3 years since I met Go Yohan. We’ve never gone anywhere far with a purpose.

If I were to make an excuse, it would be that it’s all my fault. I lived a little tightly in the first semester to recover the grades that had failed. But Go Yohan, who unusually likes a diligent life, thought he was in the same situation and mind as me, but I never thought he would like it so much.

From the elevator to the front door, Go Yohan jumped rhythmically like fingers pressing a piano. I think they call that skipping. He’s not even a kid. He even taps his thigh with his fingers. I asked Go Yohan, who was humming and going down the stairs, as if asking him casually.

“Are we leaving too late?”

The time was already around 2 PM. The late departure was a collaboration between me, who doesn’t really like going out, and Go Yohan, who takes his time with everything. Thinking about it again, my and Go Yohan’s values in life are subtly similar.

“Where to. Amusement park?”

“Yeah. Is it late?”

“I don’t think so.”

Go Yohan stopped his light steps at my question.

“I guess, anytime is good.”

I knew it. I wore a subtly smug expression. And I subtly showed off the ticket I had taken out. I got this. To be honest, it was a ticket I got by sheer luck.

But I decided to keep those trivial words to myself for now. I think I did a good job. Isn’t this the time to show off? There aren’t many days when I can openly brag to Go Yohan. Isn’t that right? I subtly straightened my shoulders and puffed out my chest.

“I bought it.”

“Really? Good job, good job.”

“I even bought it cheap.”

“Impressive. So impressive.”

Go Yohan chuckled and patted my butt. Praise makes even Kang Jun dance. But my smugness quickly lost its momentum and shrank. The reason was the thing Go Yohan took out of his pocket. What was in his unusually large hand was a small, square piece of plastic.

“What’s that… Wait, is that a car key?”

I squinted and stared again. It didn’t change. No matter how I looked at it, it was a car key.

No way. Why is that in Go Yohan’s hand? No, did Go Yohan have a license? No, did he have a car? I knew he had a motorcycle, but… The ticket I had proudly taken out felt pathetic, and embarrassment came suddenly like a shower. I subtly hid the ticket in my pocket and asked.

“Why do you have that?”

“It’s proof that I’m not a complete idiot.”

“What?”

“We can’t walk like a loser to the world of dreams and fantasies. Cinderella also used magic to ride a pumpkin.”

I frowned at the strange non sequitur, and Go Yohan showed me his outstretched right hand and said.

“I have a license.”

“How?”

“How? Yohan is American.”

What is that outrageous way of referring to himself in the third person?

Go Yohan used his brazen way of speaking and then took something out of his back pocket as if he were taking out a card, with something stuck between his middle and index fingers. I hesitated and took what Go Yohan handed me. ‘Surely not’ didn’t change. Has my ‘surely not’ ever changed?

“…What is this?”

The card was just an ordinary credit card. One that said, ‘Yohan is allowed to drive a car.’

“Let’s run wild with the Lord as our backing.”

“Are you crazy? I don’t want to die.”

“Tsk, picky bastard.”

Go Yohan clicked his tongue. Then he tucked the credit card into my back pocket as if he were giving a tip. Is he crazy? There’s really a psycho like this. Go Yohan ignored my horrified expression and this time took out a small card from his wallet. And when I frowned and received it, it was an international driver’s license.

“Satisfied?”

His smug attitude was like a kindergartner showing off his toy. I looked at the front and back and it was really a driver’s license. I looked at the license, which was full of scratches as if it had been stuck in a corner somewhere, and I just couldn’t shake off the absurdity, so I laughed.

“You have a driver’s license, so why do you take taxis?”

“Am I driving an invisible car? Where do I have a car?”

“You had a motorcycle.”

“You still remember the junk I threw away a long time ago.”

“You threw it away?”

“Yeah. I was afraid I’d die young riding something with two wheels. And I was so scared that you’d be comforting your grief of losing me to another guy that I hurriedly threw it away. I’d rather ride a rickshaw. I suddenly got so scared. Two guys I knew died riding that a while ago.”

How far did he go with his imagination? I replied with a disgusted expression.

“Your friend must have been badly hurt.”

“What are you talking about? I said they died.”

Go Yohan frowned. It was as if he meant, ‘Are you even listening to me?’ Did ‘died’ really mean died? My mind became hazy and I opened and closed my eyes in offbeat rhythm. What is disregard for life to Go Yohan?

“Is it someone you know as in an acquaintance of an acquaintance?”

“There are kids I went to middle school with. A semiconductor guy and a musical instrument company guy.”

“You say you know them, but you don’t know their names.”

“Do I need to?”

“No, that’s obvious… You said you know them? There must have been names you called each other.”

“I called them Semiconductor and Instrument.”

“Then were you called Spirituality?”

“If they called me that, those guys wouldn’t have died just a while ago.”

“……”

Wow, he’s really trash. He’s the guy I like, but he’s closer to Satan than a human. Disregard for life was nothing to say to a guy who pulled out his own healthy tooth.

He somehow manages to call me by my name. In high school, the only people who called me by my name accurately were the teacher and Go Yohan. It’s ironic. Should I consider this an honor?

“Okay… Good job.”

“Are you crazy? What’s good about it? Is someone dying a good thing? You have a weird personality.”

I lost the will to answer and walked away, trudging. It was because I was suddenly disappointed in my taste. I really only like trash. My future suddenly felt bleak. My taste is trash, and Go Yohan seems like he’ll be trash even as he gets older, so I had a premonition and a similar feeling of fear that my relationship with Go Yohan wouldn’t change.

“Then I guess I’ll be in your grasp wherever I go.”

There was no answer to the playful words I threw out. Well, it was probably a joke that wasn’t worth answering.

I was embarrassed for no reason and pretended to look over the license for a while before handing it over. The large, long fingers that I always saw brushed against my thumb and snatched the license away.

“……”

Why does he always brush his hand like that? Every time it brushes, the subtle warmth left on my skin makes my heart flutter. I lowered my gaze and secretly rubbed the thumb that Go Yohan had touched.

Go Yohan carelessly stuffed the license he had taken out of his wallet into his pocket. Why not put it in your wallet? Now I realized the identity of the many scratches. Every single one of those things is like Go Yohan.

Go Yohan, who didn’t care at all about the driver’s license, which was already a past topic of conversation, pressed the button on the car key. At the same time, headlights flashed somewhere. In the place where the light flashed briefly, there was a car that looked just like Go Yohan.

“But you said you didn’t have a car?”

“I didn’t have one until yesterday.”

“……”

“Now I do.”

“Did you buy it?”

“No.”

“Did you borrow it?”

“Yeah. I guess?”

What do you mean, I guess?

“……From who?”

“I don’t really know. Just someone I know through someone else. I looked at the model.”

Go Yohan just shrugged at my question. Wow. Does he not even know who he borrowed the car from? I can’t even imagine how, from whom, and how he borrowed it that he even forgot who he borrowed it from. Then how is he going to return it?

In the end, I gave up trying to think of a way. Well, what does it matter? The guy who lent it to him is probably rich too.

“Okay. A car is better than a motorcycle.”

“Really?”

Go Yohan, who was already tall, even lifted his heels. The huge figure went up and down, honestly revealing his simple joy. It was a very fleeting joy. The honest joy disappeared as his heels came down to the floor.

“I deliberately chose one with a wide front seat. But there’s no back seat.”

But Go Yohan is still Go Yohan. The car whose headlights flashed looked like what would happen if you turned a motorcycle into a car. This is the first time in my life I’ve ridden in a sports car that looks so flashy. And the color is matte – now I know the difference between matte and glossy – black. Anyway, I don’t know Go Yohan’s taste. A flashy car covered in depressing colors.

“You only drive cars that look like you.”

“Is it cool?”

“It looks unhealthy.”

“That’s absurd. You’re slandering me. Where is there a person as wholesome as me?”

Who would believe that? If evil were born as a human, it would be Go Yohan. Go Yohan looked dangerous and offbeat even when he didn’t do anything. He just looks like that.

“It looks too dangerous.”

That’s my definition of Go Yohan. I had been expecting him to become like this as he grew up.

Whether he didn’t hear me or not, Go Yohan frowned and gestured for me to say it again. Are you crazy? I’m going to say it? Never, ever, ever.

I ran down the stairs and ran towards Go Yohan’s car. I opened the passenger seat as I pleased and sat down. And I looked out the car window and said with my eyes.

‘What are you doing?’

Go Yohan, who looked at me pointing to the driver’s seat with a chin gesture, laughed in vain, lightly tilted his neck, and walked over leisurely, unlike me, who had run all the way here. Even at a similar speed. That was even more annoying. The driver’s seat door opened, and Go Yohan came in with a cold wind.

I see why he got this car. Good to have long legs. Damn it.

“……”

“……”

Since when did the definition of an amusement park become an Avici hell?

I was so tired of the crowds that I was about to be crushed to death. I’m going to kill that Kang Suhyun bastard. He said Christmas was a hole? That Kang Suhyun bastard is the kind of guy who would go to the weather forecast and say it’s sunny on a rainy day and have a company picnic, and if he went to the statistics office, he’d blow up his boss’s outfit in a week and be fired for murder.

So this is what it smells like when there are a lot of people. I felt like I was going to die from the musty smell, so I covered my nose and mouth and looked up.

“Yohan……”

Yohan. The mouth that was about to call out stopped. Go Yohan’s eyes that met mine had no focus. His face was pale to the point of dying, and his expression was so depressed that he looked like he was going to kill someone. So I had no choice but to say this.

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry.”

“I’ve never been to an amusement park before, so I didn’t know there would be so many people.”

“No, I’m happy there are so many people.”

That’s not what you should say with a dying face and expressionless face. I frowned and said softly.

“I’m really sorry.”

The ride I waited for, thinking I’d ride the most fun one, had a waiting time of 3 hours. Crazy. The only good thing was that it was right in front of me. It was the price I paid for waiting 2 hours and 15 minutes. I was filled with anticipation that I would only have to wait about 40 minutes.

I admit it. I was secretly looking forward to the new experience. If I wasn’t concentrating, my heels would repeatedly go up and down. Calm down. What’s so great about a ride? Well, it might be a little exciting, but that doesn’t mean I should jump around like a child. I put strength in my feet and pressed my body down heavily.

“If you’re so sorry……”

When I was pressing down on my heels like that, Go Yohan leaned in slightly and whispered in my ear.

“Make me a rag.”

“……”

He really doesn’t have any sense of time or place. I pushed Go Yohan’s cheek, which was close to me, with the palm of my hand, and moved one step to the side. I pretended to be relaxed, but in fact, I didn’t feel that way at all these days. I reacted so sensitively because I didn’t want to be caught that my body instinctively flinched because of the breath tickling my ear.

If Go Yohan is twenty, so am I.

In fact, I’m not that different. No matter how noble I pretend to be, I’m just a person. But the difference between me and Go Yohan is that I want to hide my changes, and Go Yohan pours out his emotions to me to the point of being burdensome. If I think about why Go Yohan, who had been so eager to torment me, has changed like this, well. I think Go Yohan has become a little more mature.

For example. Right now, Go Yohan was just standing still with his head turned in the direction I turned it. Before I took my hand away, I could feel the slightly trembling skin. He’s smiling.

“Is it okay to be so cold to me?”

“I’m sorry, but wouldn’t it be okay to not be cold if you didn’t say useless things?”

I knew that he was maintaining his smile with his head turned because I saw Go Yohan’s protruding cheekbones. He likes to tease me. Knowing that, I keep responding like this.

It’s love, it’s love.

I heard Kang Suhyun’s voice from deep inside the right side of my head. Why am I thinking about this kind of thing alone with that bastard’s voice? In the moment of blaming Kang Suhyun, who had done nothing wrong, a cold hand grabbed my ear and pulled it hard. The sudden movement suddenly ended my imagination, and I looked at Go Yohan with surprised eyes.

“Ouch.”

It didn’t hurt much, but I blinked my eyes as if to be heard and said stiffly. What was so annoying again, he wiped away his smile and looked down at me from top to bottom. Go Yohan is the most annoying when he does that.

“Yohan.”

“Yeah.”

“This……”

“Ah.”

The gesture of pulling my ear became softer at my words, and soon tickled my earlobe.

No, I told you to let go, not to touch me like this. I’d rather you pull it. On the contrary, touching me so gently makes me more embarrassed. The rustling sound of the fur brushing against me and every gesture of massaging the hard cartilage were all tremendous stimuli.

I raised my hand and pushed away Go Yohan’s hand and turned my face to the other side. He must have noticed. It must look weird. But I can’t help it. It’s better than blushing openly. And as expected, Go Yohan stubbornly reached out again. This time, as if he was reading my face, he lightly touched the thin, ungrown hair near my ear, not my ear.

I pushed away Go Yohan’s fingers that were playing with my hair. As if he was dissatisfied with that, Go Yohan raised and lowered one eyebrow, and at the same time, opened his mouth.

“You were thinking about another guy just now.”

He’s really good at reading my face.

It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t taken aback. But there’s no reason for Go Yohan to be dissatisfied with my delusion. The main character I just thought of was Kang Suhyun. I frowned openly. It was to instill in him the certainty that the imagination he was thinking of would never happen.

“Does Kang Suhyun count as that bastard?”

“Why is Kang Suhyun coming out of there again?”

But unlike the certainty that Go Yohan’s subtle expression would brighten, it changed to an expression that was more complicated to explain. I became confused as well. Why? What could have happened?

“Kang Suhyun is the one who sold me the ticket here.”

Unfortunately, the reaction was steadily worsening. The more I continued to speak, the more I was falling into a swamp. The end of my words was tinged with uncertain emotions.

Lines appeared on Go Yohan’s forehead, and his sharp jawline even tilted slightly to the side. The pupils that were looking at me gradually moved to the side and eventually rested somewhere in the air next to me. Then he didn’t move at all, wondering what he was thinking.

“……”

“……”

I shuddered a little. What, did I say something wrong?

I went back over what I had said again, but I still couldn’t figure out the mistake I had made.

He’s not jealous, is he? The level difference between Kang Suhyun and Go Yohan is too great for me to be jealous, so it’s impossible to put the possibility on this side. The only things that are similar are height and education, but you have to be jealous of someone who deserves it. I couldn’t possibly raise the possibility of jealousy because I had never given opportunities or attention to the lower class of the pyramid. It was definitely the first thing to reject.

What’s left is what happened between Go Yohan and Kang Suhyun. But isn’t that something I don’t know? Even if I subtly ask them, they won’t tell me. Kang Suhyun only avoids my questions. What do you want me to do? I didn’t know how to speak and stammered out an excuse that wasn’t an excuse.

“It didn’t mean anything. Kang Suhyun even gave you this ticket to go with you.”

Finally, the eyes that had only been looking at the air moved little by little and looked at me. The moment our eyes met, his light-colored eyes openly asked me. ‘Why?’ The atmosphere was colder than winter and darker than night. And I’m always so weak in this kind of atmosphere.

Winter monsoon. A day when it’s not snowing but raining damply. White breath melting in the rain. Humidity that comes in winter. Go Yohan was a being born with the wicked conditions that made me tremble. How can a person be like a winter monsoon? But that’s Go Yohan.

I was in a hurry. I didn’t want to let Go Yohan misunderstand. Anyway, I’m the person who wants to give the only umbrella left to Go Yohan, who’s standing in the winter monsoon rain. The hand that moved reflexively took out the cell phone hidden deep in my clothes.

“Do you want to see what I talked about with Kang Suhyun?”

Still, it was a wise choice. The most efficient way to persuade Go Yohan was still evidence.

“Is that okay?”

Go Yohan laughed. However, it was definitely not a delusion that the laugh was as unpleasant as a rag twisted by hand. Wow, he’s forcing that laugh so hard right now. As if he realized he’d made a mistake, he raised both corners of his mouth wide. It’s good to laugh, but his eyes should laugh too. If he only covered his mouth, anyone could see that his face was expressionless, and his skin crawled.

But his words were different from his eyes. Go Yohan, with his dead eyes, pretended to be more easygoing than anyone else with his mouth. To the point where it was awkward and even burdensome.

“It’s okay. Forget about it.”

“No! I’ll show you no matter what. You have to see it.”

I hate this unpleasant feeling even more. I hated Go Yohan much more. First of all, I wanted to reveal everything that Go Yohan might dislike, so there would be no lingering feelings. It was like actively emphasizing my determination not to hide anything from him.

I forced my trembling hand, whether from the cold or from anger at the unpleasantness, to turn on my phone screen. And like showing a royal pass, I showed him the conversation between Kang Suhyun and me.

That disgusting message, even after seeing it again.

「Go Yohan r=1−sinθ Kang Jun」

Who was it that said they wouldn’t look earlier? Was it the person who pretended not to be interested and only looked at the air? As soon as I showed him the phone, Go Yohan leaned in so close it was burdensome and read the screen. And unlike me, he seemed to understand what it meant right away. Because Go Yohan was stroking his chin and talking to himself. It was certain.

“Go Yohan, heart, Kang Jun?”

“What, how do you know this?”

“Kang Suhyun sent this?”

“You understood? Really?”

I asked because I was genuinely curious. Even if I checked again because I thought something was strange, it was just a trivial formula. So how did he know? Is there some kind of slang I don’t know about? Am I the only one who’s behind? Is it a trend that most college students know? I was confused.

“Then do you know this too? I tried calculating it with the natural constant, and I got 6606.48.”

「128」

“Do you know what 6606.48 is?”

I showed Go Yohan the message written below as well, but Go Yohan looked at the screen, looked at me who was confused, looked at the screen again, and then suddenly burst into laughter. It was such a light and clear laugh. The moment breath burst from his refreshing mouth, I felt an unspecified number of nerves gathering with all five senses. If I felt jealousy there, absolutely not. There was no time for that.

“Ah, seriously, Kang Jun.”

Go Yohan’s long eyes curved. In his crescent-shaped eyes, his upper and lower eyelashes overlapped. Come to think of it, Go Yohan’s eyes were slender, but his features were quite large. His eyes aren’t small either. His features themselves are so striking that my gaze keeps being drawn to him.

During the very short time that his pupils were revealed between his slender eyes, the world flickered in black and white. Only Go Yohan had color in it.

When I have an amazing experience, I think like this.

It’s so cliché. My thoughts right now are like a scene from a novel or drama. It’s childish and embarrassing. But I had no choice but to honestly admit it. There’s a reason why there are cliché descriptions.

Everyone in the world has had similar experiences, and the most vivid emotions among those experiences are described most appropriately by clichés. So I have no choice but to admit it again.

I love Go Yohan like a scene from a drama.

“Ugh, that’s creepy.”

“Why?”

I shook my head, suppressing a laugh that was leaking out.

“Doesn’t the wind that blows every time a ride passes by give you goosebumps?”

“I guess.”

I offered a brazen lie. I’m no different from Go Yohan, actually. But I lie for profit, and Go Yohan lies for fun and survival. Well, I don’t really know what the difference is.

I was about to put the phone I was showing Go Yohan back in my pocket. But it was thwarted because my hand was immediately grabbed. Go Yohan, holding my hand, read the message on the screen again and burst into laughter even louder than before. His laughter is like peppermint candy.

“…What’s so funny?”

Of all things, my throat was filled with a handful of sugar-like excitement. I’m going to get sick of my own voice because it’s so sweet.

“To say ‘I love you,’ that stupid bastard sometimes says the right thing.”

“That’s right. How did you know this? Isn’t this problem a bit strange?”

My curiosity resurfaced. It’s not like I’m obsessed. I just thought it would be good to know. That’s just my personality.

“That’s…”

Go Yohan shrugged lightly at my question and opened his mouth,

“Please come all the way to the back row!”

Thanks to the enthusiastic part-time worker, our conversation was cut off somehow.

Pushed by the people behind us, we sat down in our seats without any room to spare. So why is 14 ‘forever’? I want to know. Even if I tried to ask again, the crowd pushed me and Go Yohan from behind.

When I came to my senses, the safety bar was coming down. What is this feeling like a mob scene?

“Go, Go Yohan.”

I hurriedly called Go Yohan, who was sitting next to me, but soon the loud announcement sound brutally killed my voice.

“Ouch.”

I reflexively covered my ears at the piercing mechanical sound that hurt my ears. It didn’t feel that loud outside, but when the microphone was turned on right in front of me, it was a really overwhelming loud sound.

“We sincerely welcome everyone who has visited our land! This is our land’s famous A, T, T, R, A, C, T, I, O, N! Attraction! Not the Viking, not the flume ride, where thrill and excitement coexist, where is it? It’s X-Traction! Don’t cry if you’re scared. We’re going around three times. So check your safety bars again, the entrance is on the right! The exit is still far away. So everyone! Get ready to scream, and let’s start without delay!”

Is this an announcement or an order?

The moment I heard the part-time worker’s incomprehensibly fast announcement, I knew. We came to the wrong place. I checked the safety bar properly because they told me to check it, and it was even loose.

“Yohan.”

On the old train that was trembling and starting, I called Go Yohan. And as expected, Go Yohan, whose face I met, was also stiffening his expression and slightly lifting and lowering the safety bar.

This time too, Go Yohan’s face was asking. ‘What is this?’ There was only one thing to say to that expression.

“I’m really sorry.”

“Yeah. You should be sorry for this.”

Where did the Go Yohan who generously said it was okay go?

Go Yohan touched the safety bar again. His cool face stared down at the bottom of the ride from the highest point with a chillingly expressionless face. It didn’t seem like he was particularly scared. It was a face that had experienced an unacceptable situation below common sense. Maybe, I was too.

“Let’s never come here again.”

Yeah. I was about to answer that, but suddenly Go Yohan reached out and grabbed my safety bar. Uh.

Before I could figure out what was going on, the ride that had climbed to the summit plummeted to the ground in an instant. But my gaze was constantly on the large hand holding the old handle with all the paint peeling off.

My heart was shaking so violently. It was like someone was shaking a glass bottle containing my heart violently.

I raised my trembling hand and grabbed Go Yohan’s safety bar. Probably, Go Yohan didn’t see it because it happened in the midst of the commotion. I’d rather it be that way. Even though the cold wind was cutting my face, my head was just hot.

And one new thing I learned. Go Yohan seems to be weak with rides. Maybe, maybe. He’s not showing it, but Go Yohan, who was sitting on the bench, was subtly listless.

It was exactly that feeling. Someone who’s carsick.

“You.”

“…Huh?”

“You’re carsick right now.”

Go Yohan subtly avoided my gaze and only answered in a very small voice.

“No?”

“……”

“This place… just doesn’t suit me.”

I agree with the latter part. An amusement park and Go Yohan. It seemed to fit, but it didn’t fit at all. Go Yohan holding a helium balloon in a space full of red and pink fantasy and happiness? Moreover, two perfectly normal men sitting on a heart-shaped bench and talking to each other? It’s a real nightmare. I feel a little sick.

Ah, I think I’m getting more carsick. I thought I should drink something cool.

“I want to drink something. Do you want to drink something too?”

“Is there any?”

“No, I’m going to buy it. So I’ll go to the nearby convenience store, and you stay here.”

It was my own consideration, but Go Yohan just shook his listless face from side to side.

“No. Let’s go together.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why? Will I die if we go together?”

I raised my hand firmly.

“The space we’re in is a bit special. In a space like this, even two men going to the convenience store together looking so close might not look good to others. It’s a bit disgusting.”

“I’m handsome, so it’s okay.”

“Ah, because you’re handsome.”

The good thing here is that my emotions don’t show well on my face. I naturally learned how to hide my emotions because I was used to enduring things since I was young, but on the other hand, Go Yohan said it without any shame or hesitation with a perfectly normal face, as if it were obvious.

These days, I’m admiring Go Yohan’s shamelessness. Really.

“You’re all sincere, aren’t you.”

“What’s with the tone?”

Go Yohan frowned and glared at me. I nonchalantly got up and avoided his gaze. And I pointed to the left path, recalling my memory.

“If I remember correctly, the convenience store was probably over there.”

“Look at Jun-i changing the subject. Seriously.”

Go Yohan looked at me with an expression that said he couldn’t help it and then burst into that unique, easygoing laugh again.

“You know you’re really funny these days, right.”

“Two steps is too much like strangers, and next to each other looks a bit subtle, so let’s walk half a step apart.”

“Half a step? Okay.”

“It’s okay to bump into each other a little while walking.”

“We can bump into each other? You’re incredibly generous. I almost cried.”

“Let’s go.”

“Yes. Teacher.”

Go Yohan really matches my jokes well. Even I’m not funny.

It’s something I’ve realized these days. I was clearly realizing one of the reasons why I couldn’t sit at the apex. My personality is boring. I have no sense of humor and no wit to make others happy. No matter what I did, it was studying and pretending to be nice. That’s why I wasn’t popular when I was in school. But in the past, I was so consumed with jealousy that I couldn’t accept my shortcomings. Now, I understand to some extent. I’m not a fun person to hang out with.

I guess that means I’ve grown enough to understand these feelings. I haven’t changed in being sensitive, but I’ve still learned how to restrain myself to some extent. I nodded, paying attention to Go Yohan, who was walking half a step behind me.

Go Yohan and I spent the last moments of our growth together. I never thought it would really happen, but according to my standards now, I think we’ve grown up well.

“……”

“Ah, I’m sorry.”

While I was lost in thought, someone bumped into my arm. A feeling of displeasure surged up in an instant. No, I’m an adult. It was a moment when I was trying hard to suppress my rude emotions. I smelled a familiar scent. I was flustered and looked at the person I bumped into, and the culprit was Go Yohan.

“I accidentally bumped into you while walking.”

“Yes.”

Why did I use honorifics? I was so flustered that I ended up speaking similarly to Go Yohan’s manner of speaking.

“No, not you.”Your tone is polite.” Is it a pretense? I feel like you usually have a very dignified tone.”

“…I don’t really do that.”

“It’s okay. Having a bad personality is my fetish. Since we bumped into each other, can I walk next to you?”Where did you learn that tone anyway?”

“I learned it from the person I live with.”

“Let’s get the words right. When did I ever use that tone?”

I frowned in frustration. No matter how much I thought about it, I had never spoken like that. Okay. If I had to concede just one step, I would talk like that to adults. But I’ve never done that to my peers.

“Even if you say ordinary words, they sound very dignified because of your voice. Your tone is calm.”

“That means I’m boring.”

I know too. My personality is boring. I didn’t know it then because I was obsessed with reactions, but I’ve never led a relationship positively. Even in high school, there weren’t many people who laughed because what I said was genuinely funny. To put it another way, it means I’m a boring person.

But Go Yohan acted as if he didn’t understand my words at all.

“Boring?”

“I’m boring. Me.”

“You don’t know your own charm.”

“Charm? What are you talking about.”

Even though I said it curtly, I was secretly looking forward to it. Go Yohan knows my charm. Yeah, maybe I’m a little fun to Go Yohan. He said he likes me. I lit up my eyes with anticipation for no reason. I was waiting for the words that would come out next, but Go Yohan looked down at me and said with a smile.

“There shouldn’t be any misunderstandings, so I’ll say it calmly.” Objectively, you’re not fun. But the things you do are a bit funny.”

“Let’s just break up here and act separately.”

“Ah, seriously, I’m going crazy.”

Go Yohan suddenly covered his mouth with his hand and laughed with his back bent. He’s laughing annoyingly. What’s so funny? I couldn’t understand it at all, so I decided to just ignore it.

“You’re really funny, why are you so funny?”

“Who are you? Who are you to talk to me?”

I didn’t even look at Go Yohan, who was following closely behind me, pretending not to know him. I tried not to show that I was sulking, so I acted even more aloof. But it seems like Go Yohan doesn’t care at all. He grabbed my arm playfully and turned my body halfway by force, and then burst into laughter again after seeing my expression.

“Ah! So freaking cute.”

The expression of laughing with his eyes closed and even wrinkling his nose was really pure in the literal sense. The problem is that it’s malicious purity. It’s an expression that he can’t help but be happy to be teasing me. That’s it.

“Let go. Of this.”

“Do that again.”

“What.”

“‘Who are you? Who are you to talk to me?’ This. Just one more time. Just once.”

“No. You pervert.”

He likes all sorts of weird things.

“Pervert? Jun-ah, now that I hear it, it’s a bit like that.”

Go Yohan was still shaking my arm without letting go, but then his expression changed as if he had suddenly thought of something. He’s really a child full of anomalies. The end of the anomaly was always teasing me, though.

“Strictly speaking, you’re more bright than me.””

I admit it again. I have a habit of adapting to my reality faster than others. Go Yohan probably just threw out those words as a joke. He’s always been a child who likes to do naughty things like this. And the words that Go Yohan says with a blushing face always stimulate me.

It’s unfortunate for Go Yohan, but there’s one sad fact. Kang Jun is more shameless than Go Yohan. It’s hard for Go Yohan to penetrate Kang Jun’s thick skin.

Kang Jun’s conscience confessed. How many times have you used Go Yohan as a side dish?

The answer is countless. I outwardly found calmness and said it plainly to Go Yohan.

“I don’t barge in while you’re showering like someone else.”

“Who does that?”

I scanned Go Yohan from head to toe with half-closed eyes. That was my answer.

Go Yohan leaned his big body and bumped into me all the way while walking along the crowded path. It was on purpose. I staggered very slightly, pushed by the large figure. I was about to get angry and bumped into Go Yohan in the opposite direction, but as expected, Go Yohan didn’t budge. Rather, I was bounced off. Damn it.

Go Yohan grabbed my body, which was being pushed to the side by the reaction. It’s so unsightly to be dangling with my arm grabbed that I could die. I closed my eyes tightly and pulled my arm out of Go Yohan’s hand.

Then I glanced at Go Yohan and warned him firmly. It’s because the incident a few days ago left a lingering feeling.

“Don’t keep coming in when I’m showering. And don’t keep touching me.”

“You’re really too much.”

“What.”Don’t you find me attractive?””

“……!”

Crazy, Go Yohan finally crossed my limit. Feeling a chill down my spine, I quickly turned around and covered Go Yohan’s mouth. I must have given it a little too much force without realizing it, because Go Yohan’s lips were pressed hard against my palm and were half-turned.

“You’re doing this on purpose, aren’t you. Right now.”

His eyes narrowed on the edge of my hand. Into a pretty crescent shape. Then his thin facial lines shook up and down. Go Yohan was nodding with my hand dangling. You crazy bastard.

I looked around, suddenly realizing that my actions were more noticeable than Go Yohan’s words. My face flushed. I was mortified. I quickly took my hand off Go Yohan’s mouth, moved my feet, and walked faster.

Since there were so many people, the surroundings became stuffy after only a few steps. Even without seeing them, it was possible to roughly gauge the size of the people around. Animals are like that, originally.

So, I was secretly relieved. It was because I thought the large body behind me was Go Yohan.

“It’s so cramped, I’m going to die.”

That was until I heard an unfamiliar voice.

I hurriedly raised my head. In the spot where I naturally expected Go Yohan to be, there was a man I had never seen before. What’s worse, I even made eye contact. I screamed inwardly and lowered my head.

Where did Go Yohan go?

I raised my head again and looked around. Just as an inexplicable despair was about to erupt, a small vibration rang in my hand. I frantically looked down and saw that Go Yohan was calling.

“Ye, hello.”

-Yes, this is your wife.

Is this the time for such a pointless joke? The tension that had soared cooled down due to the absurd situation.

“I lost you.”

-That’s what you get for wandering around alone.

“I’m a twenty-year-old man, don’t use that tone.”

-Then don’t become a lost child in the first place.

“I’m not lost, I just got swept away by the crowd. If I’m lost in the same situation, then you should be lost too.”

-Hing. That’s right. Yohan is so, so scared.

“……”

I didn’t expect him to admit it so readily. The lisping sound in his low voice made me gasp. It’s so awkward and confusing…… But why is it a little cute?

-It’s okay. I’m following you right now. You’re so tiny, I bet you can’t see me.

Go Yohan’s outrageous remark instantly erased the strange feeling. Damn it, just because he’s tall, he looks down on others. I frowned instantly and looked around. No, even now, my line of sight isn’t that low.

“I can see you.”

So, I lied.

-You’re full of it.

“It’s true. Just look for the one that’s obnoxiously tall and sticking out above everyone else’s heads.”

“Don’t lie.”

He really came in close. Go Yohan’s presence.

“You were just spinning your head around like a helicopter until just now.”

At the same time, a firm hand gripped mine tightly enough to crush it. The low voice that had been coming through the speaker was now a tangible presence, scratching at my sensitive ear. I reflexively flinched and covered the ear that the damp breath had touched with my free hand. My startled heart was pounding like it would burst.

I like Go Yohan’s voice because it’s heavy. His face has a cool and elegant feel rather than a heavy one. That imbalance makes people tremble like crazy. Because I know that, I reacted sensitively to Go Yohan’s whisper.

All the nerves and cells in my body were jumping around like they were having a seizure. I took a breath and carefully looked up. It was a defensive posture that I had taken without even realizing it. Go Yohan was looking down at me with a slightly dazed expression.

“……Why?”

I pretended to be nonchalant, scratched near my ear with my finger, and stood up. Even though my heart was in tatters. As proof, I had completely forgotten that I was holding Go Yohan’s hand.

Go Yohan looked at me even more blankly for asking. Then, he stared silently at his right hand. Why is he suddenly looking at that? My gaze followed Go Yohan’s hand.

Surprisingly, I didn’t realize I was holding hands even though I was holding hands. It was a really foolish moment. It was because my body, tense with worry, was twitching on its own. I couldn’t even stop my confused heart, thanks to Go Yohan, who was tapping the back of my hand while clenching and unclenching his fingers.

Finally, Go Yohan, who had been looking at the tips of his fingers with his eyes lowered, suddenly turned his gaze away.

“Seriously, Kang Jun’s taste is really unique.”

“……”

“Your face is super red. Right now.”

The voice teasing me gently stroked my ear, causing my twitching body to tremble slightly in the opposite direction. It was because I was overwhelmed with embarrassment. Why did I come here with him? Before that, why did I give Kang Suhyun money?

But I can’t lash out here. I’m the one with more to lose. I need social prestige, and he lives his life however he wants. Arguing with Go Yohan, who tells social status to suck it, always ends on a sour note.

I don’t want to admit it, but my compatibility with Go Yohan is the worst. It usually ends with me getting dragged in. Was I born to lose to Go Yohan from the start?

“Oh, you’re chewing me out.”

I raised only one corner of my mouth and felt extreme annoyance at the face that was teasing me. When I think about it, it’s like that. He was born with everything that others envy, but he’s also full of inferiority complexes, which is annoying.

“Me in a place like this.”

And what’s with his physical confidence being so damn good? Instinctively, my gaze naturally went to Go Yohan’s center, stopping abruptly around the middle of his thigh.

“A place like this, where?”

Crazy, crazy Kang Jun.

“Ah, it’s nothing.”

I shuddered. And then I realized. That I was holding Go Yohan’s hand. I shoved my trembling hand into my pocket. I’m, I’m not in my right mind.

I stiffly turned my body, which wasn’t working well. As luck would have it, there were more people on the street than bugs, so I couldn’t even make a proper path, but I moved forward no matter what.

“I’m never coming to a place like this again.”

I gritted my teeth as I pushed through the crowd. Then, I was overwhelmed by a crowd of people who seemed to have come in a group, filling the street. Excuse me. Excuse me. I tried to call out to the person next to me who was forcefully pushing my side with their arm, but my voice was drowned out by the noise. Ah, seriously.

Just as my whole body was about to be uncomfortably compressed, I heard a familiar, low voice, and felt the sensation of a hard hand wrapping around my shoulder.

“Excuse me.”

Go Yohan’s voice isn’t even that loud. Rather, it’s on the quieter side, but the man who couldn’t even hear me quickly turned around. Then, as soon as he confirmed Go Yohan’s face, he just bowed his head and frantically pulled on the clothes of the people who seemed to be his friends to one side.

He couldn’t even hear my voice. Why does he listen so well to Go Yohan’s words?

I muttered my complaints inwardly and ignored the fact that my heart was beating faster than usual.

“You lose your way so easily, why do you wander around alone so much?”

“I’m good at finding my way.”

“What are you talking about? You’re always stuck in weird places.”

“What? What did you just say?”

I opened my mouth to say something, then closed it again. It was because I wasn’t as angry as I thought I would be, even though he was teasing me. I’ve really mellowed out a lot, haven’t I?

No, it’s all because Go Yohan is so selfish. Why does he always make such pointless jokes? I didn’t even have to think deeply to be sure, so I wasn’t angry.

Why didn’t I realize it in the past? Go Yohan’s motive for tormenting me seems to be exactly that. He’s so eager to torment the person he likes. He has to see that person cry because of him to feel relieved.

Do you know what the best revenge you can take on someone like that is? Extreme indifference.

“If you keep tormenting me like that.”

The problem is that I can’t be indifferent. I’m really in a bad way. Of all things, my voice trembled because my heart rate hadn’t calmed down. Damn it. I’ll just pretend it’s because I’m cold.

“You.”

But why did I get stuck here? I chewed on the second curse. In the meantime, I didn’t think any more because Go Yohan, who saw someone running from behind me, pulled me toward him.

“You?”

“You…… You.”

“Me what.”

Damn it.

“Never mind.”

The only thing I could think of was something childish like, ‘I’m not playing with you.’ It was a word that would feel childish even before I said it, and I would feel ashamed afterward, so I stopped.

“If I torment you, what? You have to tell me.”

“There’s a snack bar over there.”

I had long since lost the original purpose of evolving into someone who doesn’t get motion sickness, but I pretended not to hear Go Yohan and pointed to the snack bar. It was a very skillful performance.

“But there are too many people?”

My acting was very skillful. The reason was that the words I said after that were not acting. The snack bar, which also sold snacks, was full of people wearing all sorts of fancy headbands, children holding balloons, and parents chasing after those children.

While my face was turning increasingly pale, Go Yohan said afterward.

“Jun-ah.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll just swallow my saliva.”

“……”

Should he? That would be better. I quietly agreed.

Go Yohan, too, was no different from me, and with a more gloomy and pale face than usual, he scanned the crowded snack bar. While I was watching Go Yohan, I bumped into people five times. There were no apologies, and I didn’t expect any apologies either. That’s how chaotic the amusement park was.

Go Yohan, who was dumbfounded, had a strangely more subdued face and said in a trembling voice.

“With yours.”

“Okay…… Hey.”

Even with a look that was so sick of it that he looked like he was going to throw up, he still came up with that thought. Go Yohan is amazing. In the meantime, he always chooses to say these things when it’s noisy. Thanks to that, the nonsense disappeared mixed with the noise. Even if someone in this crowd overheard my conversation with Go Yohan, it was at such a subtle volume that they probably wouldn’t be able to understand exactly what was said.

But he was maintaining a subtle distance from me. He wants me to hear it. I don’t know if he’s being considerate or if he doesn’t care about being considerate at all.

“I’m really because of you.”

I didn’t look at Go Yohan. I just took off my coat and plunged into the crowd inside the snack bar. There were so many people that the inside of the snack bar was slightly warm enough to make me sweat.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll go buy water.”

“What? I don’t need it. Come here.”

I turned around. Go Yohan, who made eye contact with me, tried to come closer while twisting his body, but he repeatedly failed. The snack bar, which exceeded the number of people that could be effectively accommodated per area, was nothing more than a field of barriers for Go Yohan. I guess it’s not good to be tall in situations like this. Even if he tries to break through the crowd, there’s no room because the person breaking through is bigger than the people being broken through.

“You’re just a big oaf, go out and wait.”

“Hey, Jun!”

I ignored Go Yohan, who was shouting from behind. And then, looking at the countless black heads that unfolded in front of me again, I quietly gasped.

Did I make a mistake?

I soon scoffed as if to laugh at the thought I had. I barely avoided the people who were receiving their orders and leaving, took a step forward, gave way to the person who was hovering around wanting to take my place, and slowly approached as I filled that person’s empty space. Then, I witnessed Go Yohan looking at me with a cold face from afar.

“Why is he looking at me with those eyes?”

Sometimes Go Yohan is colder than winter. What is he thinking when he has that expression? I’ve never heard Go Yohan’s inner thoughts when he has that expression, so it’s natural that I don’t know, but sometimes I feel a little sad about that naturalness.

Should I go and ask him? What he was thinking until I came back here.

The sweet drink mixed with green grapes and lime was teetering precariously on the plastic cup, almost overflowing. The sticky drink was flowing down through the unsealed seams. Ah. I looked away and looked at my damp fingers. I shouldn’t be distracted and walk carefully. That’s what I was thinking when it happened.

“Ah!”

A scream was heard, and something hit my leg. If it had just hit me, I wouldn’t have thought much of it. Why did it have to hit the back of my knee? Losing my balance, I pulled my body back, and as a result, the drink I was holding spilled all over my white shirt.

“……”

What is this? The shirt is turning a light green color. I looked blankly at the remaining drink. There was still liquid left, about half the height of my little finger. There’s some left, but. No, this is. Looking ahead with confused eyes, I couldn’t see Go Yohan.

“Uh.”

Where did he go? Even in the midst of all this, I forgot that I had spilled the drink and stood on tiptoe. But even in the crowd, Go Yohan was nowhere to be seen.

“……Go Yohan?”

“Waaaaah!”

What cut off my thoughts was a child’s cry. Startled, I turned around and saw a young boy holding his forehead and nose, wincing. Leftover soft ice cream was on the floor. That, it can’t be. I looked at my legs with despairing eyes. And also the white traces all over my calves.

“Ha.”

I’m going crazy. God is never on my side. I’m really a terrible person, just like Go Yohan said. Damn it. In the meantime, I felt the gazes turning to me and quickly fixed my expression.

“Hey, are you okay?”

It was a kind tone that came out reflexively. As I bent my knees to see if he was hurt, I felt like I knew why people often told me I was nauseating. Even I think I’m a bit too much of a goody-two-shoes.

Fortunately, the child seemed fine. Judging by his appearance, he was about seven years old. Around preschool age. Anyway, I asked again just in case.

“Are you hurt anywhere?”

The child nodded with a face distorted from crying.

“That’s good. Where are your parents?”

“Over. Over there.”

In the direction the child pointed, there was a woman and a man who had turned pale. I sighed and stood up. There’s no need to be so full of despair. Anyway, Kang Jun, who has to look good to others, will never say bad things. Especially to passing relationships.

The child’s parents, who had passed through the crowd, saw my clothes and bowed with even paler faces.

“Oh, what should we do? I’m so sorry. The child suddenly ran out……”

“No, it’s okay. There are so many people, I didn’t see him either.”

See?

“I’ll pay for the cleaning. You too, don’t just cry, apologize.”

“No, just tell him to be careful.”

That way, he won’t cause this kind of trouble again. Damn it. I should be grateful that I took off my coat. What’s with my clothes and pants being in this state? I’m really a pathetic sight.

“Just a moment, we don’t have any cash, so if you give us your account number, we’ll definitely send it there.”

“Don’t feel too sorry. These clothes aren’t expensive. I can just buy new ones.”

“Are you waiting for someone?”

“Yes? Ah.”

Maybe the truly pathetic one is me, who can’t lower his tiptoes. I realized what I was doing only after hearing the child’s mother’s words. I had been frantically scanning the crowd. Like a meerkat looking for food. Crazy. I quickly fixed my gaze forward and continued speaking.

“That’s, yes. My friend is waiting for me over there. I’m really okay, so don’t worry too much.”

“Then please tell us your number, at least. We’ll definitely contact you.”

“I’m really okay.”

He should be comforting the crying kid. I keep saying I’m fine.

It was clearly an act of kindness and courtesy, but to me right now, it was just a bothersome compensation. It’s just clothes, can’t I just throw them in the washing machine?

It’s also uncomfortable how people keep looking at me. My top is soaked green, and the ice cream that’s clumped on my pants is melting. Being the center of attention like this is the worst.

Finally, I gave up first. The one who’s always aware of others loses.

“If you give me your number here, I’ll contact you right away.”

The man who seemed to be the kid’s father took out his phone from his pocket. And the moment he turned on the screen and handed it to me, someone snatched the phone from right in front of me. Huh. Surprised by the sudden situation, I blankly looked in the direction the hand had come from. There stood Go Yohan, pressing numbers on the phone.

“Excuse me, just a moment.”

“This is my number.”

It was Go Yohan who cut off the bewildered kid’s parents. He tossed the phone back to them and pointed at me with his chin.

“I think I need to take my friend to change his clothes.”

“Yohan, where did you go……”

I didn’t hear how the kid’s parents responded. No, I couldn’t hear. It was because my mind went blank as Go Yohan draped his jacket over my shoulders and carelessly fastened it in the front.

Go Yohan’s shoulders were heaving with labored breaths. Why? As I asked myself, Go Yohan grabbed my arm and pushed through the crowd, dragging me out of the store. I followed behind him, half-forced, watching his large back.

Go Yohan frantically scanned the signs and walked as if running, then stopped in a street that was relatively empty. Then, with a frown, he looked around as if searching for something. It seemed like he was looking for a road.

“Hey, Go Yohan.”

“What.”

“Drink this.”

“What?”

This is one of the few moments in my life. Shouldn’t it be commemorated?

‘December 25th. Finally witnessed Go Yohan looking at me like I’m crazy.’

Actually, what was important to me wasn’t what or where Go Yohan was looking for. It was to give it to Go Yohan. I showed Go Yohan the little bit of drink left and smirked.

“I bought it for you to drink.”

And I asked.

“But earlier, why were you looking at me like that?”

The question I thought I should ask earlier popped out. It was almost instinctive. I was too curious to resist. But unfortunately, I couldn’t hear the answer to my question. It was because Go Yohan, who had been looking at me like I was crazy, changed his attitude. Go Yohan nonchalantly took the cup in my hand and downed the drink in one gulp. Then, he licked his lips and said.

“I think I raised you wrong.”

Raised? What did you raise? I frowned at the nonsensical words, and Go Yohan added.

“Were you always like this, or are you becoming like me?”

“Like you?”

“Ah, I see.”

But before I could understand, Go Yohan came to a conclusion on his own. Well, judging from Go Yohan’s expression, it seemed like he just wanted to enjoy the moment rather than hear the answer. Go Yohan, who was subtly looking down at me with narrow eyes, smiled a smile I had seen before. Something felt ominous.

“You’re copying me.”

“What? No.”

“You used to copy me all the time in high school. Don’t you remember?”

Suddenly, what the hell is he talking about? I frowned at the absurd words. Go Yohan’s slender, long fingers reached for his bangs, which had grown too long.

Since turning twenty, Go Yohan had started growing his bangs long and sweeping them back. My eyes were drawn to the hand holding a few strands of hair that had fallen forward. Go Yohan’s hand movements were natural but unnatural. I wondered if his nerves were really coming back, as his fingers, which had been stiff until recently, now moved as Go Yohan intended when he put strength into them. The problem was that three fingers moved at the same time. Just like now.

“……I wasn’t copying you back then either.”

“Just say you were. I feel like I’m going crazy with joy every time you copy me.”

My gaze can’t leave Go Yohan’s fingers. Why do I like that hand so much? Go Yohan, unaware of this, raised his eyes and looked up. All while lifting his hair with his hand and sweeping it back. I stared at the movement as if possessed, then froze at Go Yohan’s words.

“And because I said I like lime, you even bought lime flavor.”

“……”

“Thanks for the Ade.”

……He remembered. I suddenly felt endlessly embarrassed, as if my thoughts had been exposed. Unlike Go Yohan, who slightly lifted his head and swept back his hair, I lowered my head and looked only at the ground. I could see the hem of my pants stained with ice cream. Why does everything that annoyed me before feel like nothing now?

“Let’s go.”

“Where.”

I replied a little curtly to the words filled with a strange mockery. Not because I disliked it, but because I was embarrassed.

Go Yohan, who saw my childish behavior, stretched out his foot and nudged my toes. Only then did I raise my head. The face that met mine was smiling, with one eye slightly closed. The jacket that had been draped over my arm slipped out of Go Yohan’s fingers.

This is definitely Go Yohan’s trap.

The moment I sat in the passenger seat, Go Yohan threw a pack of wet wipes into my arms. The wet wipes, which read ‘World of Fantasy and Dreams,’ looked like they were sold somewhere in the store. So, was that what he disappeared for a moment to get?

“Since there’s nothing to change into, wear this for now.”

The reason I’m awkwardly clearing my throat, which isn’t even dry, is because of this one sentence. The words Go Yohan said as he slightly pulled at the white turtleneck he was wearing. As the sound of the engine died down, the heat gradually filled the car.

I looked away, pretending not to care, and stared at the sky, which had already darkened. Winter nights come unusually early. Ahem. An awkward cough came out on its own.

“Then what are you going to wear?”

“What.”

“You, ……you hate that, don’t you.”

I scratched the back of my neck, glancing at Go Yohan’s shoulder. The hand that had been roughly wiped with wet wipes was cold.

There was no answer to my question. Go Yohan just looked down at me with lowered eyes. I quickly shut my mouth and peeled the damp shirt away from my body. I fiddled with the buttons on the shirt for no reason, then leaned my back against somewhere between the seat and the door, watching the scene intently.

Go Yohan’s skin, illuminated by the faint light.

I forgot to swallow. Soon, my throat became parched, and I swallowed loudly. Go Yohan said he was going to swim. Because there was a swimming pool at his family’s house. Does swimming make your body that beautiful? The moment Go Yohan’s head came out of the shirt, I quickly averted my gaze.

“Here.”

“……”

My gaze, which had lost its way, landed on Go Yohan’s hair, which was tangled messily from being rubbed against the clothes. The neatly cut hair, just long enough to sweep back, fluttered here and there. Why does even Go Yohan’s unkempt appearance suit him so well? It’s really absurd.

“What are you doing, not taking it?”

“Ah, uh. Okay.”

What are you going to wear? My head was full of questions, but I just mindlessly took the clothes that were handed to me. What should I do with this? As I fiddled with it with a troubled expression, Go Yohan said as if throwing it.

“Are you going to wear that over what you’re wearing?”

“Huh?”

I widened my eyes and stupidly asked back. I hurriedly lowered my head, and the white shirt, now smeared and soaked on the front, filled my vision. Even I could tell that I couldn’t keep wearing it. It was cold and damp, so it would be better to take it off.

But still. The hand that was touching the buttons slowed down.

“……Don’t look this way, turn around.”

Shit. A husky voice, full of embarrassment and shame, burst out. It was a slightly different voice than my usual voice. Honestly, it would be one thing if it was someone else. Why did the person in front of me have to be Go Yohan?

“Why, are you being shy now? After doing everything we’ve done.”

“It’s not that……”

It’s a comparison. And it’s even more humiliating to have to show Go Yohan the body that’s being compared. But it was too miserable and hopeless to say these words out loud, so I couldn’t bring myself to tell the truth.

“Just look somewhere else for a moment. It’s not a difficult thing to do.”

“Why do you ask for so much? Annoying.”

Go Yohan looked at the car ceiling and closed his eyes. And after giving a bitter smile with an unreadable intention, he leaned back in his seat.

“Is it okay now.”

“Just a moment, it’ll be just a moment.”

I hurriedly took off my shoes and put my feet on the seat. It was an impulsive action to minimize the exposed area. After burying my back deeper into the space between the seat and the door, I hurriedly unbuttoned my shirt. And I raised my head. It was the moment I was about to throw the unbuttoned shirt over my shoulder.

“……”

My eyes met Go Yohan’s, who had his hands on the steering wheel and his head leaning deeply against the seat.

“Why?”

Go Yohan asked so brazenly. As if he hadn’t done anything wrong. But I couldn’t bring myself to get angry or scold Go Yohan. I just raised my knees and took off my shirt, trying to act as nonchalant as possible.

“It’s nothing.”

Unfortunately, my head was about to explode.

A persistent gaze touched the skin exposed to the air. It was fortunate that I had raised my legs first. I covered Go Yohan’s persistent gaze with the ice cream-stained pants. And I picked up the clothes that Go Yohan had been wearing until just now. The soft cashmere texture was uncomfortable.

My hand, pretending to be relaxed, searched for the place to put my head. I think I put on the clothes naturally enough. The moment I pulled my head out through the long neck and put my arms in, my anxious head began to calm down.

“I’m done changing.”

Ahem. I swallowed again to soothe my dry throat.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while.”

“Uh.”

“Did all the body hair on your body go to your head?”

Huh? I lowered the legs I had raised to cover my body and frowned. The change in my expression was small, but the change in my emotions was great. At first, I frowned because I was trying to understand Go Yohan’s intention, and the second time, I frowned because I understood the intention.

This time, I pretended not to hear Go Yohan and threw the shirt in the back seat. Unfortunately, Go Yohan noticed my intentional ignorance. That bastard is really quick to notice.

“I was complimenting you on having a lot of hair.”

“That’s a lie.”

“It’s like well-groomed high-quality ginseng.”

“Your analogy is annoying.”

Go Yohan, who had been leaning his face on his arms on the steering wheel, suddenly wrinkled his nose. His expression was so playful that it was overflowing. Go Yohan, who neither affirmed nor denied it, turned his gaze. Go Yohan was looking at the pants full of traces of dried ice cream.

“What about the pants?”

“Why. You want me to take off my pants too?”

“Do you want me to? It’s not like I can’t.”

I’ve always had a hard time beating Go Yohan since high school, but Go Yohan, who’s a year older, has become even more difficult than Go Yohan, who’s a year younger. Somehow, he’s becoming more relaxed and less talkative. It’s the same now. Go Yohan ran his fingers hard across his cheek and said this.

“But would my pants even fit you? Your clothes are already so baggy.”

“……”

I naturally looked at the clothes I was wearing. It definitely felt a little flat when Go Yohan wore it, but why does it look a little baggy when I wear it? At least the top is okay. If it’s pants, there will definitely be extra leg room. Shit. I bit my lip in embarrassment.

“……I’ll just keep wearing the pants.”

“That’s going to be a problem.”

“What?”

“Didn’t I say I borrowed a car?”

I was so dumbfounded that I couldn’t even speak. That rich bastard. He even scratched the car on the way here. When the door scraped against the wall while turning a corner, he didn’t even change his expression. Now he’s really good at making a troubled face. That bastard, he’s doing that even though he knows I know he’s acting. Crazy.

But what can I do? Since he brought the car, Go Yohan is the boss. I had no choice but to persuade Go Yohan.

“Go Yohan. I don’t have anything to wear if I take this off now.”

“That’s why I warmed up the car.”

“Let’s say I take it off in the car, what am I supposed to wear when I get out?”

“Your coat is really long. Wear that.”

“……”

You want me to wear a coat over a turtleneck and underwear on my lower body? Even with white socks that go up to my ankles? Is this crazy bastard trying to make me an exhibitionist?

I looked at Go Yohan with a face that had turned red with anger. Go Yohan seemed to be enjoying this situation very much, as the smile didn’t leave his lips. I felt an atmosphere where something dangerous was about to happen. Something’s wrong. I grabbed my pants out of self-defense, and Go Yohan said while looking at my hand.

“Ah, right. I didn’t say we were going home now, did I?”

“What does that mean.”

“They said there’s a fireworks festival at nine. Let’s watch that and go. It’s our official first date.”

Date.

As my chest grew heavy at the blatant word, Go Yohan reached his hand back and tapped the glass.

“The heater’s on, the seat’s wide, it’s dark, the front is open, and people outside can’t see inside. It’s perfect.”

“……Did you tint the windows?”

“I tinted them really dark.”

I rolled my lips into my mouth. If Go Yohan says this much, there’s nothing I can say. It’s not like I’m the only one taking off my clothes, Go Yohan is also shirtless. And Go Yohan is being considerate in his own way for something I did by mistake. If Go Yohan hadn’t brought the car, it would have been the worst.

Yeah, the outside might be able to be painted, but the seats might be annoying to clean. I heard that sensitive people even take off their coats before getting in.

In the end, I decided to give in to Go Yohan’s argument.

And well, pants are better than having my upper body compared. It won’t be visible when it gets dark anyway, and I can cover it with a coat. Even after making the decision, I hesitated and stroked the buckle. I finally opened my mouth. It was the same situation as before.

“Close your eyes tight, I’ll take it off quickly.”

“It’s not difficult.”

“Don’t open your eyes in the middle like before. Promise.”

“Okay. I said okay.”

Go Yohan answered by lightly shrugging his shoulders, then slammed his forehead against the steering wheel. Then, he accidentally pressed the middle and the horn blared loudly. Go Yohan raised his long neck, looked at me, smiled apologetically, and lowered his head again. Then, as if to show off, the distorted scar clearly engraved on Go Yohan’s back was visible.

“……”

I hurriedly lowered my reddened face and lowered the zipper.

“Don’t lift it yet.”

“Uh. Don’t worry. I won’t lift it.”

“Not yet, not yet.”

I hurriedly pulled my legs out through the holes and quickly threw the stiff pants into the back seat. I ignored the sound of something falling somewhere and pulled the coat over my legs. All of this was done in 30 seconds. I breathed a little heavily and called Go Yohan.

“It’s okay now.”

“It’s okay?”

“……Yeah.”

“Phew.”

Go Yohan shook his head slightly and straightened his back. As a result, the skin illuminated by the streetlights and moonlight sparkled once and was buried in darkness. Go Yohan leaned his back against the seat and laughed heartily.

“Someone was peeking a lot, but I can’t do it.”

“I didn’t look.”

“I didn’t say it was you.”

I denied it almost as a mechanical reflex, and Go Yohan said without even looking at me. Go Yohan, who was just checking the time on the clock attached to the car, suddenly turned his body and opened the storage compartment in the back seat. I couldn’t even look at Go Yohan’s face because I was embarrassed, so I turned around following Go Yohan. Go Yohan just reached out his arm and reached the distance that others would barely reach by lifting their bodies.

And inside the opened storage compartment were a few cans of drinks and a few small chocolate bars.

“You said it wasn’t your car.”

Go Yohan seemed to have read my gaze full of bewilderment, and Go Yohan was embarrassed for the first time today.

“I prepared it in case something happened.”

I stared intently at Go Yohan’s hand, which was stretched out as if showing off. Still, the three stiff fingers. I don’t know how he drives with that hand. He’s doing pretty well. It was just a matter of grabbing the steering wheel, so it wasn’t difficult, and he changed gears pretty well. It’s automatic anyway, so there weren’t that many times to change gears.

But why did it keep catching my eye like that? Truthfully, even while coming here to the amusement park, I had secretly twisted my legs together, feeling a strange sensation. Go Yohan probably knows about my weird reactions by now, though.

Ever since I told Go Yohan that I get turned on by his fingers and scars, Go Yohan has subtly increased the times he strokes or touches me with his stiff three fingers.

The problem is that I’m into it. I must be a hopeless pervert.

“So, we only have to stay for an hour before we can leave, right?”

“Yeah. We might not see it directly, but let’s watch what’s in the sky comfortably from a warm place.”

Go Yohan smiled as he opened the can. So purely, too. I took the can Go Yohan handed me and thought about the chances of Go Yohan having watched fireworks like this. In my estimation, it’s probably close to 0%. I stopped as I brought the lukewarm drink to my lips.

“This is non-alcoholic, right?”

“Yeah, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunately.”

He’s so good at playing along with my lame jokes. I tried to be funny, but I failed. I changed my approach and pretended to ask seriously as I finished my drink. After swallowing a few gulps, I suddenly found the situation funny and burst out laughing. This time, I quickly covered my mouth with the back of my hand to avoid spilling.

“What’s so funny?”

“No, I just find this situation funny.”

“The situation?”

I leaned forward, wiped my mouth, and answered.

“I never imagined I’d be watching fireworks with my pants off in my life.”

“Well, I didn’t know my first time watching fireworks would be half-naked.”

“Is this your first time seeing fireworks?”

“It’s the first time I’ve come to see them seriously. Who knew such a heartwarming thing would happen in my life.”

I drank my drink again without a word. And I praised myself from a few minutes ago for making a wise decision. I’m glad. I didn’t let anyone else steal the opportunity. Moments and choices I didn’t think were important became the highlight of our relationship without me even realizing it.

So, Yohan’s first relationship, first date, and first fireworks are all with me.

“Why do you keep smiling?”

Go Yohan asked, looking at me with his back against the seat. But Go Yohan, who was asking me ‘why are you smiling,’ was actually smiling himself. I wonder why he’s asking without realizing he’s smiling.

“You’re smiling too.”

“No, I wasn’t. You were the one smiling.”

What kind of answer is that when he’s openly grinning? I scoffed and shrugged my shoulders.

“Okay, I’ll say that’s true.”

“Why do you keep laughing? Is the situation that funny?”

“I’m laughing because I’m happy right now?”

“What are you happy about?”

I looked at Go Yohan askance. My eyes met Go Yohan’s, who was smiling awkwardly. There are times when I go crazy. Regardless of time or space. Right now was one of those times.

“You.”

But there are moments when Go Yohan is too lovable to just pass by. For me, who has Go Yohan as my weakness in life, those moments have become situations that inevitably happen. It’s unavoidable.

In addition, the force majeure that suddenly befalls me often leads me to the most erotic times. No wonder the guys who used to frequent brothels were treated like fools. Those who are already desensitized to stimulation won’t know the real erotic moments. What drives people crazy isn’t porn or sex. It’s the reconnaissance that happens before porn and sex begin. Mental arousal, that kind of thing.

“……”

“……”

Go Yohan’s fingers lightly tap the steering wheel. That guy who ignored my words not to look at me like that is now looking out the window on the other side without being told to. In the quiet atmosphere, the only sounds were the small noises made whenever I and Go Yohan tapped the intact car body.

“Jun-ah.”

“……Uh.”

I stroked the bumpy surface of the leather with the blunt part of my finger. He called, I answered, but the conversation didn’t continue. Then, a slightly heavy sound hit the car window. A drop of water plunged onto the window, creating a crown-shaped smudge.

I gently raised the hand that had been caressing the leather seat. Then, I stroked the collar of my coat. I was moving my body myself, but it felt strange, like it wasn’t moving as I intended.

Drip, drip. Heavy raindrops fell on the thick metal of the car. I was the first to speak.

“The fireworks must be canceled.”

“……”

“Because it’s raining.”

Pink-painted nails scratched the coat. The surface of the coat warped along the direction the hand swept. Go Yohan lifted his right arm, which had firm muscles, and stroked his right arm with his left hand, which had nothing on it. He also touched his shoulder with his arm raised. It was an act that felt exactly like I was aimlessly tormenting the coat and seat. Go Yohan, who had put both arms back on the steering wheel, rested his chin on his arms. The rain grew heavier and blurred the car window.

“I think I’ll increase my smoking.”

Go Yohan’s words, which broke the silence, were truly unexpected. But they were words that resembled Go Yohan’s presence so much. Like shards of glass thrown into a calm lake.

“-Huh?”

“What do you think, should I?”

“……Why are you asking me that.”

I hate the smell of cigarettes-. He could have said that. I just put my thumb, which had a rough side, in my mouth and bit it lightly. Crunch. Crunch. My fingernail bounced between my Canine Tooth. Like Go Yohan, I turned my head and looked out the window next to me. It was an unpredicted guerrilla downpour. The ground became darker than the sky. Among the vaguely visible scenery, the light from the streetlights spread on the ground, tearing apart as soon as it touched the water.

I stopped biting my hand.

From the time Go Yohan started smoking, I began to enjoy the smell of Go Yohan’s cigarettes. The firm lips holding the thin, wrinkled white stick, the neatly extended high nose bridge, the eye sockets that were more sunken than others. And the days continued where I was tormented by the expression Go Yohan made when he smoked.

“Why did you even start smoking in the first place? Did you suddenly develop a longing for it?”

It’s strange. I felt breathless. Feeling suffocated, I slightly opened the drawer in front of me and then closed it again.

“You used to say that guys who smoke in high school are all hopeless morons.”

“……Fuck.”

“You said it yourself.”

“That’s right. Fuck. I said that.”

Go Yohan sighed deeply and ruffled his hair. His already unkempt hair fluttered even more messily by Go Yohan’s hand. Unfortunately, the problem was that the disheveled hair suited him so well. Everything, including the muscles illuminated by the fragmented streetlight and the selfishly broad shoulders, seemed like props for Go Yohan.

“I don’t want to tell you.”

The hand that had been holding the steering wheel fell onto the seat. Go Yohan collapsed his body, leaning back against the seat in that state. Then he turned his head to the opposite side of where I was sitting.

Is he telling me to stop talking? I felt inexplicably anxious. A heavy, suffocating unease strongly constricted the blood vessels leading to my heart. Contrary to Go Yohan, who was sprawled on the seat, I straightened my back and sat up. And then I froze. Because of the foreign movement digging into my coat.

A slender finger came crawling up like a worm and entered through the gap in the coat. Go Yohan was clearly looking in the opposite direction, but Go Yohan’s right hand was invading the inside of my coat. My stomach reflexively tensed. Finally, his finger hooked onto the underwear near my pelvis. The finger that had entered the gap between the underwear and skin pulled and released the underwear.

“……Go Yohan.”

I heard the sound of a snort. Go Yohan’s jaw, which only showed a line, trembled. And the finger that was holding the underwear as if to tear it off began to move down. Thanks to that, the end of the underwear, which should have been wrapped around my waist, was dragged down below my buttocks.

“You also think I’m like a dog, don’t you. I think I’m crazy too. Can you feel it?”

Go Yohan’s voice bounced off the glass and flowed to me. Can I feel it? I was busy trying to fix my trembling breath and mentally harassed mind. Taking advantage of my silence, Go Yohan’s hand entered my underwear. I just grabbed the collar of my coat and stared at the air. My gaze scattered with excitement.

The hand that entered my underwear scratched my thigh hard. It was clearly with a force strong enough to leave a red line, but it didn’t hurt. Only one place, the index finger that could properly apply force, hurt as if the bone was being pressed. I reflexively grabbed the coat tightly. I suppressed the moan that was about to burst out like that.

“……Ugh.”

The finger that had been pressing into my skin until it was about to be injured went down my thigh. That slow movement felt like being cut with a knife, so terribly sensitive. Go Yohan’s body leaned towards me little by little. The sound of the seat rustling filled the inside of the car.

The finger that was going down to my knee changed direction to the inside midway, and bent its joint at the slightly fleshy part.

The underwear that was so precariously hanging was pulled down more and more. The only thing that could prevent the underwear from going down here was my weight.

I turned around and looked at the pants sprawled on the floor of the back seat. I thought it was strange.

“Go Yohan, you……you were planning this, weren’t you. From the beginning, you were originally planning to……”

“Fuck, of course. Did you just realize that now? Why watch uselessly exploding fireworks. Fuck. What a waste of time.”

The finger went up my thigh again. The flesh on the inside of my thigh was dragged like that. This time, it was clearly with an intensity that would leave a red mark. Finally, the hand that had crawled all the way inside dug into the inside of my thigh. Only then did I hurriedly grab Go Yohan’s wrist. Unfortunately, my hand and Go Yohan’s hand were blocked by the coat.

“I have to repay what I accumulated when I was a kid, with interest.”

“……I never accumulated anything like that.”

“Bullshit.”

Go Yohan didn’t care about my dissuasion. Rather, he grabbed the flesh on my thigh with one hand hard enough to hurt.

“Repay the price for using eighteen-year-old Go Yohan as a Semen thief as you please.”

“Hey, you did too.”

“Of course. That’s why I’m going to repay it too.”

A long, slender index finger lightly scratched the flesh below my genitals as if pressing down. The sensation of strongly scratching the flesh over the thin fabric made my whole body shudder. My whole leg convulsed violently once.

Go Yohan’s wrist was pressed between my legs. But Go Yohan’s finger didn’t stop.

“I never forget a debt, you know.”

“……”

My feet twisted, and my instep scratched the rough floor. It was because Go Yohan’s hand barely avoided my genitals and rubbed them in a circular motion. My muscles trembled. Like a body trembling from drinking too much caffeine.

“You understand. Honestly, this is also your fault. If you had given it to me back then, this wouldn’t have happened.”

The hand that had deeply dug into the inside of my thigh stopped. Ah, it stopped. I twisted my body, feeling a strange emptiness from the sudden stop of the tickling. It was then. Go Yohan firmly grabbed the inside of my thigh and pulled it strongly towards him. At the same time, my waist, which had been losing strength, slipped at once.

Crazy. As soon as I realized that one leg had been forcibly opened, I hurriedly gathered my legs. But Go Yohan raised his mouth askance and put his finger through the gap in my underwear and flicked the tightly attached fabric. With an unpleasant sound, the underwear roughly stuck to my skin.

“Ugh……You were the one who said you would dedicate your virginity to God.”

“You know it well? That’s why I converted.”

Go Yohan grabbed my hardened genitals over my underwear in one swift motion. I gasped and stopped breathing, bracing my hand somewhere on the door. Go Yohan leaned his body towards me, glanced at the center of the coat that had sunk in from spreading my legs, and then looked at me and smiled.

“God, you’re hard.”

“……Let go of this.”

“Jun-ah, just say it honestly. You wanted to get fucked by me, didn’t you. You looked at my dick so much.”

A large hand slowly stroked my genitals up and down. With really textbook movements. I forcibly gave strength to my waist, which was bending on its own. The hand that had been bracing somewhere on the door started wandering again.

Tap, tap, the excited hand tapped anywhere to find a support. But unfortunately, the passenger seat wasn’t a place with many things to grab.

My genitals became hotter and hotter from the moving friction. Go Yohan felt the movement of my genitals, which were gradually twitching as blood rushed below, and slightly lifted his hand. The skin didn’t touch, but the warmth was there, with a gap in between. Honestly, that was more painful. I swallowed the dry saliva and opened my mouth with difficulty.

“……No, I didn’t.”

“Ah, you’re going to pretend you didn’t.”

Ah-. Go Yohan, who made a long sound, smiled more bitterly than ever. At that smile, I strangely felt a chill down my spine, and the warmth fell from my swollen genitals.

Uh. I slowly raised my eyes and looked at Go Yohan. Below, I felt the sensation of the coat fluttering for a moment. Looking down again, Go Yohan’s hand wasn’t inside the coat. Go Yohan put the hand that had been touching my genitals back on the steering wheel. He was really annoyingly relaxed.

“You’re able to pretend you’re not even while dripping water from that tiny hole like that.”

“Hey, why do you keep talking like that……”

“-What are you doing?”

Go Yohan bent the hand he had placed on the steering wheel. The hand reflected in the subtle light was slightly shining. It wasn’t completely wet, but the fingertips were wet. But that was even more arousing.

Without even looking at me, Go Yohan said in a flat tone.

“Take it off.”

But the desire and excitement hidden in his voice were directed straight at me. Take it off. Go Yohan, who had thrown those words, slightly turned his head and stared intently at my center.

“You’re going to get your Semen on my car.”

“……Go Yohan.”

“And don’t cover your legs with the coat, sit on it. Spread your legs. That’s the etiquette and Moral obligation to me.”

An arrogant gaze pressed down on me. What the hell is the etiquette and Moral obligation to you? Before that, you said this wasn’t your car. That you borrowed it? This bastard lied to me again. Then what etiquette should I show? Fuck. Showing you the scene of me getting hard in front of you and getting excited? Why does Go Yohan want to see that shameful sight? My stomach was stuffy, but the already excited below was even more stuffy.

Below the arrogant gaze, I can see a sneering mouth. I burst out laughing. I rubbed my forehead with my hand and thought. Go Yohan’s jokes are always malicious.

“You said you can’t see inside from the outside.”

“You can’t. Or maybe, do you want to be seen?”

Go Yohan noticed that I had taken a step back. Honestly, I’m going crazy too. With Go Yohan and I already alone in the car, this game is already over. You dog-like bastard. You’re quick to notice. I covered my eyes, which were definitely bloodshot.

Yes, I’ve been horny every day since I mixed bodies with you. I also know that Go Yohan has let it slide even though he knows that. He must have clearly seen me staring blankly at his center every time. He even jokingly pointed it out a few times. I pretended not to until the end, but it’s true.

I imagine having sex with Go Yohan every time. I’m a crazy bastard. I hate this me so much that I want to die. I covered my eyes with the back of my hand to hide the feeling that I was so embarrassed I could die.

“No, I just wish you were dead.”

“What a pity, your wish won’t come true.”

Go Yohan said with a slightly guilty expression.

“I think I’ll live a long and healthy life.”

“……You son of a bitch.”

“I’m really sorry. Jun-ah. But that’s how life is, isn’t it. It doesn’t always go as planned.”

Is he teasing me right now, or is he really saying he’s sorry? It must be teasing.

“Fuck, you bad bastard……”

I shook my head and lifted my legs. And I put both thumbs into the underwear hanging on my waist. Even while recognizing what I was doing, I felt suffocated at the thought of what would happen in the future.

I glanced at Go Yohan out of the corner of my eye. Go Yohan, who I saw in passing, was wiping his dry face with his hand. And then he was blurting out words that anyone would be excited to hear.

“It can’t be helped. You like Go Yohan, me. You even liked me when I was acting like that? You crazy bastard. Why didn’t you say that earlier. I’m so sorry for my school days. You sons of bitches. I wondered why you were so furious every time I brought up sex. This is what it was. If I had known that I could have sex with you back then, I would have been the vanguard of life’s trash. Do you know how hard it is to hold back the desire to grab your legs and spread them open and sprinkle my Ejaculate inside every time I see you getting excited about me.”

“Crazy, aren’t you a crazy bastard.”

Damn it, why are you saying that now.

The hand that was moving stopped, and my heart pounded like crazy. Like banging with a fist. I guess I’m not in my right mind either, with my heart racing at this sleazy confession. I imagined myself shaking under Go Yohan with my hands tied, and I twisted my waist. Damn it. My already throbbing Penis pulsed once, big time.

I squeezed my eyes shut and then opened them. It’s a shame if only I suffer. I’m resentful that only I’m going up and down like this.

“Hey.”

“What.”

Go Yohan answered, propping his forehead. Without even looking at me. Is he ashamed too, or is he feeling skeptical about his own desires? But it’s already too late. What can I do, it’s already spilled. I learned after experiencing it several times, I have a tendency to just go for it once the game starts. And I hate losing more than anything.

I slowly lifted my waist and stretched my underwear to both sides. I did it while turning my body in the direction of Go Yohan. And at the same time, I said nonchalantly.

“Are you going to look?”

“…….”

“You can look at me naked, you know.”

Go Yohan’s gaze slowly turned to me. I didn’t miss that moment and slowly lowered my underwear. At that moment, I saw his light-colored eyes gradually becoming clouded. As my underwear went down, it pressed against my Penis, and as it went down to the middle of my thigh, my Penis, which had been entangled in my underwear, popped out and bounced up.

I looked at my Penis throbbing towards instinct, then looked at Go Yohan and opened my mouth.

“What’s the interest rate?”

His clouded gaze became even more intense. I instinctively knew the meaning of that gaze. Just look where the gaze is directed. At my already glistening Penis and thighs, and the place that had desperately taken in Go Yohan.

Go Yohan is violating me in his imagination.

“Your hole.”

I listened to Go Yohan’s words and kicked my coat with my toes, dropping it to the floor. Go Yohan’s gaze reached the falling coat and then came back up.

“It’s fluttering.”

Shit. Thanks to that, my face flushed.

“Hey, you son of a bitch. Just because I took the initiative doesn’t mean you have to go that far…….”

“Do you know what this car’s nickname is?”

Go Yohan, who had been staring at my bottom for a while, asked with a truly innocent face.

“What is it.”

“A car that Ferrari made for car sex.”

I was momentarily stunned by the filthy words that were the opposite of his innocent face. I don’t know if he has a dirty mouth or an innocent one.

“There’s a car like that……?”

“Wanna do it?”

Go Yohan asked with a serious look in his eyes, contrary to his light tone. That look felt like it was caressing my body. I felt that untouching sensation and pulled down the clothes I was wearing. And slowly bent my knees and crawled on the seat. And lowered my feet near the gear.

Go Yohan looked up at me and scanned my bottom, and I said to Go Yohan.

“……You said you were going to do it anyway.”

At my words, Go Yohan wet his lips.

“Don’t you change your mind. You liar.”

“…….”

With my words as the end, Go Yohan suddenly moved. While staring at me. Go Yohan moved his left hand and pulled something under the seat. And with a clunking sound, the chair was pushed back. It was because his annoyingly long legs pushed the chair hard.

I glared at Go Yohan’s legs, then carefully lifted my feet and crossed the spread legs over the gear. I bent my waist like that and hesitated for a moment, then sat on top of Go Yohan. Ahem, I caught my breath. After a short deliberation, I grabbed Go Yohan’s pants buckle. But my hands were shaking badly. So much that Go Yohan could feel it.

However, Go Yohan’s abdominal muscles were also trembling slightly, so I didn’t say anything and carefully pulled the buckle. With a thud, the buckle came undone.

“…….”

“…….”

I swallowed again.

This time, I grabbed the zipper with trembling hands. Now I just have to lower this. It was the moment I gave strength to my hands and made a resolution. Go Yohan’s hand began to gently stroke my thigh. Go Yohan’s hand, which had been gently stroking my bare skin, gradually went up, dug into my clothes, and rubbed my waist.

“Ah…….”

Without realizing it, I twisted my waist and frowned. My Penis, which had been tingling painfully since earlier, moved slightly. Go Yohan, who saw that, smiled, lowered his hand, grabbed my pelvis, and lightly pressed on my stomach and waist with his thumb. Because of that, the hand holding the zipper trembled as if bouncing.

“Ah, wai, wait a bit.”

“Jun-ah, lower it quickly. I want to quickly overlap and rub against yours.”

“I know. Please, please let’s go slowly.”

“I heard that if you tickle while you’re fucking, you get excited. Are you like that too?”

“How would I…… know that. You son of a bitch.”

“Ah, I took your first time. Right.”

Go Yohan didn’t stop stroking my waist and stomach with his cold fingertips. Every part that was touched was dyed with a cold chill, and I felt like my insides were twisting. The sensation that was pain gradually disappeared and turned into a sensitivity that made my nerves stand on end. Afraid of that unbearable gap, I let go of the zipper. Then I lifted my trembling hands and pressed Go Yohan’s hands down.

Then I hit the steering wheel that was tightly attached to my back with my elbow. I stopped all actions, surprised by the small, very small and short honking sound. With Go Yohan’s wrist tightly held.

“It’s quite wide, but I guess my back still touches.”

“Cou, could they have heard?”

“At this time, in this weather? Everyone’s probably waiting in the building to avoid the rain.”

“You never know. There might be people trying to go back like us.”

“Then we just have to be quieter.”

Unexpectedly, Go Yohan obediently lowered his hand as I pressed his wrist. But the words he spat out were not obedient at all. Go Yohan lowered his hand below the seat and raised his chin and said.

“You’re not going to stop here, are you? Coward.”

“I’m not.”

What does he think of me. I was about to answer in a fit of pique, but I saw Go Yohan smiling crookedly. Uh. In a moment of carelessness, Go Yohan’s body fell back, and my body lost its balance and collapsed forward. And I buried my nose in the end of Go Yohan’s shoulder like that.

“Ah! Surprise, why did you suddenly recline the seat……!”

I couldn’t get up because the seat was uncomfortable, so I was trying to prop myself up with my hands in the empty space. The hand that had been stroking my stomach suddenly grabbed my neck as if to strangle me. And the game was over. Go Yohan slightly lifted his waist. Go Yohan’s face, with his eyes half-closed, slowly came up between my vision. Naturally, my eyes closed too.

Just as our slightly trembling lips were about to overlap, Go Yohan pushed his breath into my mouth.

“Jun-ah, you have to open it.”

The hand that was trying to get up lost its strength. It was my best to support my weight with my hand barely touching the window. The fingers that were going up my neck stopped near my ear and tickled the back of my ear and the auricle. Go Yohan bit my lower lip gently and then overlapped his lips at an angle.

I’m trapping Go Yohan under my arms right now. I struggled to find a place between Go Yohan’s spread legs, and my arms dangled precariously near Go Yohan’s head.

The uneasiness that I was about to fall soon became a distorted excitement. A hot and thick tongue pushed in from lips that were tightly pressed together without any room for air to enter. At the same time, I rubbed my lower body without realizing it because of Go Yohan’s touch that was stroking the ends of both ears.

My eyes stung. Damn it, it’s starting again.

“You’re crazy.”

But Go Yohan looked at my face and smiled. It would be fortunate if it ended with a smile. Go Yohan, who smiled after slightly parting his lips, put his tongue back into his mouth and closed his lips tightly.

It wasn’t enough. I just, I wish he would keep kissing me warmly. Sexual desire dominated my head. That’s why I hate sleeping with Go Yohan. Because I lose control of myself. But it’s already spilled. I kept rubbing my lower body against Go Yohan’s stomach and bit Go Yohan’s lips. I bumped my lips wildly as if a bird was pecking with its beak, but it didn’t open either.

“Hey.”

I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at Go Yohan. Go Yohan was just smiling at me while staring at me quietly. Bad bastard.

I lifted one of the arms that was supporting my body and desperately stroked Go Yohan’s cheeks and near his ears. I was copying the thing that I liked the most among the things Go Yohan did to me. Every time my hand touched him, Go Yohan blinked the eye on the side my hand was touching as if it was stinging.

The shape looked like he was winking.

“Don’t do it, really…….”

“What am I doing.”

“Really…….”

In a desperate heart, I buried my head deeper. To be exact, I pressed my lips tightly against Go Yohan’s tightly closed lips and tried to open his mouth somehow. Maybe my efforts were commendable, Go Yohan raised his lips longer and changed his mind and gathered his lips forward.

Peck, peck, peck-. Go Yohan’s short bird kisses collided in a row on my lips that were tightly attached. Then he gathered his lips and pulled them while keeping his lips tightly closed. It was a bird kiss without sound. At the same time, his smiling lips trembled and tickled my lips.

I couldn’t stand it any longer and lifted my head and glared at Go Yohan and said.

“Do you like teasing me?”

But Go Yohan finished his answer with the act of arching his eyebrows once. A perfunctory bastard. Still, I was distracted by the action of opening his mouth, so I couldn’t even resent him. Fingers that had warmed up with the heat of excitement rushed recklessly near my eyes. It was Go Yohan’s stiff middle finger. The awkward movement wiped as if rubbing near my eyelids and eyelashes, and my eyes closed reflexively.

When Go Yohan took his hand away, the tip of his finger was wet.

The wet finger came between my lips and Go Yohan’s lips. Go Yohan deliberately, deliberately turned his head to avoid my lips and licked his finger as if wiping it. That was so hateful, I grabbed Go Yohan’s chin and turned it. And I pressed my lips against his lips again as if ramming them.

“Jun-ah.”

Go Yohan was trying to say something, but he couldn’t because of me. Of course, it’s also because Go Yohan didn’t resist. My face was reflected in the light eyes that were shining closely in front of me. There was a twenty-year-old youth who was anxious and desperate. I can see myself clearly, so there’s no way Go Yohan wouldn’t know.

His light eyes gradually closed, and his mouth opened. Go Yohan’s prank was finally over.

This time, he gently tickled my tongue. But when I tried to bite Go Yohan, he quickly avoided it and bothered my palate or gums.

Go Yohan’s kiss started in a way that didn’t suit him, and in the end, it changed to be the same as him. In other words, Go Yohan was learning to kiss with me. And he learns it very slyly.

Peck, peck-. The sound of wet friction spread faster and more intensely. That was so sexy.

The sound of moisture dripping filled the car, and the sound of water pouring hit the car and bounced off violently. The water flowing over the window was reflected on Go Yohan’s cheeks and hair.

I felt the hand that had been stroking near my ear going down my neck again. My shoulder blades were tickled, and the hand that went down dancing along my waistline finally reached my butt. One gently, one stiffly. The fingers on the moving hand poked my flesh one by one. Of course, I was in a state of being completely out of my mind, clinging to the tongue that was tormenting me inside.

Go Yohan’s lower body moved. My lower body was tightly held. I frowned because I was very dissatisfied with that. It was because I felt like my desires below, which were instinctively heaving, were castrated.

Then, Go Yohan made a line with his lips and said after slightly matching his lips.

“Jun-ah.”

“……Yeah.”

“Take it off quickly.”

Go Yohan, who closed his eyes, lifted his butt and rubbed his center against my thigh. His hard Penis, wrapped in thick cloth, pressed against my left thigh. I must have been bewitched by Go Yohan at that time.

I pressed my lips against Go Yohan’s lips again more strongly, and lowered my hands that had been wandering meaninglessly inside Go Yohan’s hair. After a few misses, I touched the zipper. Ziiip. My stomach felt pleasantly sore with the clear sound.

One of the hands that had been holding my butt tightly went down. Go Yohan’s left hand. It went between the opened zipper, and after a small movement, Go Yohan’s waist was lifted and lowered. Unfortunately, at that time, Go Yohan’s Penis wrapped in underwear and mine, which was standing straight and dripping water in a row, touched. Soon, there was a sound of something sticking and falling off.

Go Yohan, who lightly kissed my lips again, pulled his head back. Still uneven breathing filled the space between us. And my gaze and Go Yohan’s gaze went down at the same time.

My Penis, which was standing straight and sticking out from inside the turtleneck, and Go Yohan’s ferocious son of a bitch, which was revealed between his opened pants, were wriggling little by little and pouring out thin liquid wildly. He pretended to be relaxed, but Go Yohan’s Penis was so heated up that his blood vessels were all sticking out to the point of being grotesque.

Ah…….

That was so insanely sexy that I deliberately scattered my gaze and raised my head. Go Yohan smirked while looking up at me like that.

“Jun-ah. What’s this you spilled on the inside of my clothes. It’s all wet.”

While saying that, he pressed down hard on the end of my center, which was hidden inside the cloth, with his palm.

“Ah……!”

“These are my favorite clothes, you can’t do this.”

The rough surface of the cloth was rubbed wildly against the smooth glans. Because of that, the strength in the other hand that was barely supporting me was released. Thanks to that, my body collapsed and Go Yohan’s lips and my lips were crushed painfully.

“Ah, shit.”

Then the soft skin hardened in an instant. I felt the muscles under my skin tense. And conversely, my Penis and Go Yohan’s palm, with the cloth in between, were rubbed faster.

I shook my whole body without realizing it from the pain of scraping off only the glans wildly. It was too, too good. I was so scared of it being too good that I forced myself to raise my knees. As our closely touching lower bodies separated, Go Yohan took off his clothes in an instant.

“Ah, eugh!”

“Ha…….”

Then he grabbed mine and his with one hand in an instant. The knees I had raised collapsed.

Go Yohan grabbed the side of my head with his right hand. The lips that were awkwardly touching moved again. Maybe it was because they burst when they collided, it stung every time they moved, and I almost shed tears. Doesn’t Go Yohan hurt? I hurt. But I can’t say anything because I’m the one who made our lips like this.

Go Yohan’s teeth gently bit and pulled my lips. I hurriedly welcomed that visit. Because I thought shameful voices would flow out.

“Heuh…….”

Go Yohan swallowed the moans that were eaten inside my mouth very well. Of course, he swallowed some of mine too.

Even while touching our Penises so that they made a splashing sound as they got wet, we didn’t stop moving our waists. The surrounding temperature rose, and it was definitely a cold winter, but I felt hot. My waist moved harder and harder as if violating Go Yohan’s hand.

“Yo, Yohan-ah.”

“Yeah. Ju-na.”

Awkward pronunciation was mixed in. My eyes got hot because of Go Yohan who was accepting my name.

Reason has long since flown away. Go Yohan’s lower body, which was pushed up, collided with my lower body, and our legs, which didn’t know what to do, got tangled and intertwined. I put my trembling hands next to Go Yohan’s head and endured, and Go Yohan’s hand violated me and violated both Penises at the same time. Go Yohan’s remaining hand pressed my waist down.

Our kiss became a mess. Saliva spread, and we avoided each other because of the stinging wounds. But we still exhaled towards each other. When Go Yohan’s excited eyes flickered in my blurry vision, I felt my lower abdomen throbbing passionately.

“Go, Go Yohan. Yohan-ah. Sto, stop. Wait a minute.”

Go Yohan isn’t someone who will listen if I tell him. I hurriedly lowered one hand and grabbed Go Yohan’s hand that was squeezing me up and down wildly. Unfortunately, my hand was just placed on top and had no choice but to follow the ruthless reciprocating motion.

“Wait a minute! I think I’m going to go…… eugh.”

“Cum on me. It’s okay. You can do it.”

Are you crazy. I tried to force Go Yohan’s hand away, but as expected, the rebellion failed. It was just enough to put my hand between Go Yohan’s fingers. I was trying to take care of it with something like a tissue somehow. I was trying to, but. My lower body, which had already missed the timing, reached its climax and tightened a lot.

“Ah, ah…….”

The problem is that I went, but Go Yohan didn’t. Even while I was soaked in aftershocks, his Penis of ignorant size rubbed madly against my Penis, which was pouring out thick liquid. The pleasure gradually turned into pain.

“I, I went. I wen, I went.”

It was impossible to get up because a monstrous force was pressing down on his waist. Jun trembled, and his Penis, which had dropped Ejaculate on Go Yohan’s stomach, heated up again. He felt like he was about to cry. It felt like torture. Torture that drove him crazy.

His strength drained, and he buried his face between Go Yohan’s neck and shoulder. Then, he heard Go Yohan’s small groan as he scratched his neck, which made him feel even more insane.

“Ugh, ah.”

He frantically covered his mouth. Go Yohan’s glans was now stabbing his stomach relentlessly. Every time it painfully poked his lower abdomen, a shiver ran through him. It felt like sparks were flying.

He clearly saw it erect earlier. Why was it lasting so long? As he panted with such resentment, Go Yohan’s waist movements gradually slowed. He thought it was finally going to end.

“If you came, you can just come back.”

Was now the time to say that? Go Yohan joked in a voice soaked with excitement. Bastard. Betraying Jun’s relief, Go Yohan grabbed his Penis with the hand that had been moving and squeezed it as if to burst it. It hurt so much that he almost bit Go Yohan’s shoulder.

It felt like pain and sexual excitement were put in a blender and ground at maximum power. His head was piercingly sharp, and his body trembled reflexively. He blocked his mouth with one hand as if to distort it, and with the other, he grabbed Go Yohan’s arm fiercely and endured. Go Yohan’s hand, which had been pressing down on his waist, had already come down again, grabbing his buttocks as if to burst them and pulling him up.

Then, there was a moment of silence. After that, the only sound was Jun’s panting.

“It’s 2:1.”

Go Yohan laughed, exhaling. His strangely hoarse voice was annoyingly sexy. Jun wanted to retort immediately, but his body was limp from the foreplay, and he didn’t have the strength to say anything. All he could do was weakly punch Go Yohan’s arm with his fist.

“Ah. Why?”

“……”

Even after seeing Jun’s resentful eyes, Go Yohan teased him.

“Anyway, look at you, squirting all over the place and making a mess.”

He should have stopped there, but Go Yohan put his hand inside his buttocks and deliberately patted him. Every time his sticky palm tapped inside, his lower body twitched instinctively. Shit. The clumped Ejaculate collided with his skin and made a sound as it fell, leaving a long trail. Then, the hand that had been tapping inside gradually dug deeper.

“Go Yohan.”

At first, he was just limp, but the sight of fingers full of clumped Ejaculate pressing down on the entrance inside his buttocks and then advancing again made him open his eyes wide.

“Jun-ah, can you open the drawer below the gear?”

Jun shook his head. Let’s go a little slower. That was the intention behind his action, but Go Yohan smiled slightly and nudged his chest with his nose. Then, he subtly took out the finger that had put the tip near the entrance and, with difficulty, bent his hand and pressed the drawer near the gear with his elbow. Then, he lowered his hand again.

“Are you going to put it in now?”

“Yeah.”

Even so, Jun’s gaze was directed at the half-open small drawer. At the same time, he felt the area below his buttocks slightly opening, and his body trembled slightly. A small finger carefully began to enter between the tightly spread flesh. Jun was utterly horrified.

Go Yohan moved his body uncomfortably. Eventually, he let go of the hand that had been spreading his buttocks. Jun thought that Go Yohan had granted his earnest request. Until Go Yohan grabbed his thighs and pulled him up a hand’s breadth.

His buttocks were placed directly above Go Yohan’s Penis. Only then did Go Yohan begin to caress between his butt cheeks with his sticky hand.

“It’s not enough to spread it with Ejaculate, so can you get some lube from there? You’re seriously too tight.”

“……Are you really going to do it now?”

“Jun-ah, it’s better to do it quickly and rest quickly.”

“That’s……”

But…… The words of hesitation mumbled in his mouth. Unlike the soft tone that was persuading him, the violent fingers were already entering for the second time. He grabbed Go Yohan’s shoulder tightly at the slightly stinging sensation. Fortunately, he stopped again.

“I had no choice…… After having sex with you, I, I couldn’t, ugh, wait, don’t, don’t touch there.”

“You couldn’t walk for three days? You almost couldn’t take the exam.”

At the explicit words, Jun momentarily lost his words and closed his mouth. He heard that anyone who had sex with Go Yohan would definitely be in a wheelchair. Shit, not a single word was wrong.

“I’ll only make you hurt for one day this time.”

“You bastard, is that what you should be saying in this situation?”

“I’m wronged. It was partly your fault back then.”

He made a wronged expression, but his fingers moved so well. The explicit sound of squelching came from below, where it couldn’t be seen. The unloosened hole counted the number of Go Yohan’s fingers with amazing accuracy. The two fingers that were still there were just teasing the entrance, loosening the muscles.

“Ugh……”

The tantalizing pleasure tickled the nerves in his legs. In response, his back bent forward on its own. Jun unknowingly dug his fingertips into Go Yohan’s shoulder, but even though he quickly took them off out of guilt, Go Yohan didn’t even show any signs of pain. Rather, he spouted these words.

“You provided the cause. You have to say the right things according to the situation. When I have my Cock all the way in and you only say pretty things, how can I be in my right mind? You always say pretty things when we have sex. Just to suck my Ejaculate.”

“Ah…… Wait, let’s get the words right. When were you inside back then? It was after you were all the way in and pulled out.”

“Oh, you’re good at saying dirty things.”

“Hey, you.”

“Do you know I’m horny?”

Go Yohan relentlessly tormented Jun, who was already struggling to lie face down with only his buttocks slightly raised. He rubbed his Penis against the skin below his Penis. The glans, which had risen along the skin, scratched near the split flesh.

Jun couldn’t stand it anymore and slammed his head into Go Yohan’s shoulder. Afterwards, feeling a more stinging pain, he put strength back into the hand that had been resting on Go Yohan’s shoulder.

“The one inside is the third one you like.”

“……”

“Wow, you’re twitching all of a sudden.”

Crazy bastard. Jun was really about to die from the heat, not excitement. He grabbed Go Yohan’s shoulder tightly, meaning to shut him up, but Go Yohan ignored his resistance this time as well.

“Jun-ah, if you want to keep dating me, you have to get used to my size.”

It was a truly brazen boast. The way he said it while tapping his head against the side of Jun’s head was utterly shameless. In fact, Go Yohan’s posture wouldn’t be very comfortable either. Lying down with his upper body slightly raised for insertion was something that couldn’t be done without ordinary stamina.

He clearly felt the clumped liquid in his lower body falling down. Shit. Jun gritted his teeth and reached out to put his hand in the drawer. Then, he lifted up the object he grabbed right away.

“Here.”

He couldn’t bring himself to look at Go Yohan’s face.

“That’s right. Good boy.”

However, Go Yohan only played around by pulling the end of the spread hole with his fingertips and flicking it lightly, and didn’t take the object that Jun had taken out. At the sudden rush of pleasure, his legs trembled like an aspen, and he almost dropped the object he was holding.

“Take this……”

Jun shook the object, making a disturbingly trembling voice. He meant for him to take it quickly. Go Yohan’s reaction was different from what he expected.

“You spray it on your ass.”

“Ugh…… What?”

“Squeeze out as much as you need. My hands are too busy.”

At those words, Jun lost his words and raised the hand holding the object onto Go Yohan’s shoulder. It was because he was losing strength and couldn’t keep holding it.

He wanted to go back to the past and tell himself. Go Yohan is a pervert, just like you thought.

Why did he really like this bastard? But he couldn’t help but like him already. It was all because his taste was terrible. Now, he just blamed himself. See, why did you have such a bad eye for people?

Conversely, the truth inside him whispered. So, do you like it or not?

He liked it. He liked it so much that it was annoying.

Jun turned the remaining hand that had been holding Go Yohan’s shoulder back as well. Thus, he was once again in the shameful position of burying his face on Go Yohan’s shoulder and raising only his buttocks. If he moved even a little bit upwards from here, his body would fall forward and his face would hit the floor in the back seat. He absolutely wanted to avoid that.

With movements that were cut off like an electrocuted creature, he opened the lid. And he guessed at the invisible place and squeezed the thing he was holding with all his might. With the sound of air escaping, a cold liquid poured out.

“It’s cold……”

Whether the aim was wrong, the cold liquid ran down his back towards his shoulder.

Damn it. Jun stretched his arm further back. This time, it fell into the air, and when he pulled it a little further inside, the cold liquid began to slide down between the spread flesh.

Pop, the sound of the finger that hadn’t put much in coming out was heard, and a hard and hot temperature rose along the center line of his back. Go Yohan had scooped up the liquid falling down his back with his finger. He couldn’t stand it because his lower body was shaking so much. Now, it didn’t matter how much liquid was left inside the object. He just released the strength in his hand. The sound of the object falling to the floor was heard.

“It’s loosening up a bit now.”

Go Yohan’s three fingers came in all at once. It was a natural result since he had been openly applying lube for sex to the place that had been spread so wide. At the same time, he felt the fingers of the other hand coming in as well, and he crumpled the hand that he had dropped powerlessly.

“Jun-ah, does it hurt?”

“No.”

He shook his head. Every time he moved his head, Go Yohan’s cheek, hair, and shoulder touched his face.

“Ah, it’s okay for now.”

“It’s faster than the first time. I guess you’ve gotten used to having my Cock in you a few times. Can I put in one more finger?”

“Please don’t ask things like that…… Don’t ask.”

His pronunciation was unclear because he was burying his face in Go Yohan’s shoulder.

Go Yohan, who had leaned his back against the seat, raised his waist a little again and put in one more finger. A total of four fingers had entered. Three right fingers that had gone in deeply. One left finger that had only slightly entered near the entrance. It was so tightly spread and so sensitively heated that he could feel the movements as they were.

“Okay, okay. I’ll put it in without asking.”

His bottom kept throbbing. Go Yohan’s waist movements had stopped, but his fully erect and raised Cock was twitching and subtly poking his bottom. It must be painful.

“……”

This was Go Yohan’s unique kindness. He was trying to hold back for Jun’s sake.

He slightly raised his head and looked at Go Yohan’s face. His delicate profile was distorted, unlike his relaxed tone. His breathing was also strangely rough, and the way he muttered curses with his rough breathing, loud enough to be heard, was sexy. With his eyes half-closed and his brow furrowed, Go Yohan didn’t seem to know that Jun was stealing glances at him. That was truly sexual.

When he hid his face again for fear of being caught, Go Yohan, who had stopped his hand, leaned his back against the seat again. Haa-. Go Yohan, who let out a long breath, said.

“You have a G-spot in here.”

“Ah…… Huk!”

Then, he pressed his thumb hard on the sensitive flesh between his raised Cock and the hole. It was truly a surprise attack.

“Su, suddenly……”

“They say they go crazy when you poke that spot with the tip of your Cock.”

His legs gave way and he collapsed downwards. Even so, he thought. He didn’t have to. Rather, the angle of trying to aim only at that spot would be close to impossible. Go Yohan’s size was that monstrous. Jun didn’t know where that spot was either, but he was a guy who just pressed down on every spot when he put it in.

However, his thoughts couldn’t come out of his mouth. Only thick saliva dripped down.

“Sorry, I don’t know where it is with my hands. It’s deep inside you.”

Saying those words, Go Yohan completely raised his waist. In response, Jun, who had been pushed by the strength of Go Yohan’s shoulder and chest, ended up sitting in the same position as Go Yohan. Before he could even ask what he was doing, Go Yohan moved his limp legs to the outside of his body and lay down on the seat again by himself.

“……?”

What was going on? While he was just sitting there blankly at the strange behavior,

“What…… Ah…… Aah!”

Go Yohan put his Cock in from below in one go. One buttock was forcibly spread to the limit. He could feel the Cock that had entered as if tearing his flesh filling the inside completely. In a panic, Jun grabbed the protruding part of the car window with his hand.

“Go, Go Yohan. I’m, ah, inside.”

Before he knew it, the area near his hip joint was tightly gripped to the point of suffocation. He breathed roughly and looked down with scattered eyes. There, he saw Go Yohan, whose waist was bent outwards and whose eyes were half-closed. His pupils, hidden between his eyelashes, were immersed in explicit excitement and his unique sexiness.

Go Yohan raised his gaze. That’s how their eyes met, and Go Yohan raised the corners of his lips and smiled.

“You told me to put it in without talking.”

He couldn’t refute those words. He was too busy putting strength into his waist, which was about to collapse, and he had already come once from the pleasure of pressing down on the G-spot and stirring up the inside with his glans. He could even feel the white Ejaculate flowing down his Penis and down his thighs under his large top.

Unfortunately, Go Yohan didn’t know about Jun’s situation.

“Your inside is trembling very finely right now.”

“……”

“I’m going to move.”

No. He was coming right now. Those were the words that only flashed in his head. Go Yohan, who had been looking straight into his eyes, suddenly thrust his lower body upwards.

“Ah!”

His hand went up on its own. It was to cover his mouth. But that damn Go Yohan snatched the hand that was going up to the middle and pressed it down. Seeing him smiling at him, it was clear that he had done it on purpose.

“Anyway, it’s pouring rain outside right now, so you won’t be able to hear it.”

“No, pe, people are co, coming……!”

“Don’t tighten up while saying those words.”

Go Yohan frowned slightly. Then, he began to shake uncontrollably. He wished he would get tired, but that monster didn’t seem to have any trouble lifting him up. He shook so much that his head hit the ceiling hard.

“Ah!”

It hurt so much that he lowered his head, and Go Yohan grabbed his right hand, which had just been grabbed, and pulled it down. Bastard. He wasn’t going to stop. Jun, who was shaking precariously up and down with his back bent, groped for the car wall while suppressing his moans as much as possible. He was afraid that he would fall over and hit his head on the floor.

“Shit……”

“Heuht…… Ah, aah.”

It felt like a large nail called Go Yohan was hammered into the center of his body. The liquid that had been helping with the insertion gradually turned white, and the sound of squelching was heard. The liquid that splashed every time he moved dirtied Go Yohan’s stomach and his thighs.

He made a desperate effort to lift the hand that had slipped off the wall again. Then, he found the handle attached to the top of the door. This was the only way to avoid falling forward. He had to grab it urgently and endure the ruthless desire that kept stabbing him from below.

The problem was that he was still coming.

His front was already coming, but every time he ruthlessly stabbed the inside, the pleasure forcibly awakened his body. When he opened his mouth because he was out of breath, the clumped saliva fell down in a long stream.

His body honestly accepted Go Yohan’s hostility with excitement and fear. The Cock, which was shaking his body from side to side and stabbing him in just before he fell, mercilessly filled the tightly constricted hole.

The Cock, which had gone in to the limit, stopped for a moment, and his exhausted body slumped down. Even though the throbbing and twitching sensation was filling his insides, he couldn’t put strength into his body and couldn’t pull it out. He just caught his breath while relying on the handle with his Cock still inside.

Go Yohan’s hand gently stroked the back of his hand with his fingers intertwined. He felt that ticklish sensation and choked back his sobs.

“Damn it, why did it get tighter? It’s already tight.”

“Yoha, Yohan-ah.”

Taking advantage of the moment when Go Yohan stopped, Jun called Go Yohan’s name. Go Yohan, who was loosening the hand that had been holding his hip joint, replied in a voice that didn’t suit him at all.

“Yeah?”

He was unnecessarily kind. He was still tickling the back of his hand with his fingers.

Jun swallowed once. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth carelessly, he would show an ugly sight because saliva kept pooling in his mouth. He lowered the hand that was holding the handle and wiped his eyes as if to crush them with his wrist. In that way, he opened his mouth while trying to look as human as possible, without moving or putting strength into his lower body as much as possible.

“I’ll move……”

“Huh?”

“I, I’ll move. Pl, please. Don’t move.”

This was a plan I’d desperately come up with when I was a blank slate, mentally shaken. Honestly, it was a cheap trick. But I had no choice. If I kept getting pounded like this, every single one of my erogenous zones crushed, I felt like I would die. I figured it would be better if I moved instead.

I didn’t ask for permission. I took one look at Go Yohan’s face, which was becoming more and more flushed with lust, and moved on my own.

I just slowly lifted my hips with every ounce of strength I had. Go Yohan’s Penis, which was filled to the brim inside me, slowly slid down along my inner flesh. And just when I thought I’d spat it out halfway, I slowly lowered myself again. It definitely felt less overwhelming than before, but conversely, my entrance was involuntarily contracting and relaxing, reading the shape of his Penis exactly, and a subtle stimulation gradually began to build.

“Haa.”

Go Yohan, whose eyes met mine, licked his lips with his tongue. At that moment, I wondered if it wasn’t me who was moving, but Go Yohan who was slowly moving me. Even though our bodies were intertwined, I felt like I was being violated. That was the look in Go Yohan’s eyes.

“Jun-ah.”

“…Hng, ah.”

I tried to answer ‘Yeah,’ but only a useless moan escaped, so I shut my mouth and just nodded.

“I love you.”

My body stopped abruptly at the truly unexpected words. And my mind, which had been consumed by arousal, began to realize what those words meant, and I involuntarily tightened my lower body.

“It hurts. Jun-ah.”

“S-So…sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry. What can you do if you’re just naturally tight?”

As he said that, Go Yohan playfully thrust his hips up. Not as ruthlessly as before, just a small movement, enough to poke the inside a few times. That small movement made my Penis quiver minutely.

“……”

I narrowed my eyes and looked down at Go Yohan.

He barely goes once he’s inside, and he’s full of malicious playfulness, even toying with my body. What am I supposed to do with this hateful yet lovable guy? I swallowed again and pressed my hips down, sinking deeply. Then, I bit down on Go Yohan hard on purpose.

“Ah……”

At that, Go Yohan let out a low groan with a scrunched-up face. Then he immediately looked up at me with a dumbfounded expression. I deliberately tilted my head up, smiled, and moved my hips back and forth.

“Y-Your…Penis is just ridiculously big.”

Go Yohan’s face grew redder and more distorted. Ah, a strange sense of victory washed over me. When Go Yohan subtly tried to move his hips, making a scratching sound in his throat, I pressed down on Go Yohan with my free hand. I moved back and forth, subtly lifting and lowering my hips. The flesh that had been pressed together separated, and Go Yohan’s soaked Penis slipped out slightly before going back in again.

“Ah, damn it.”

Go Yohan covered his eyes with the back of his hand. He was biting his lip hard; he seemed to be in a lot of pain.

“Jun-ah, I’ll move.”

I shook my head again. Go Yohan saw my answer through his fingers and cursed softly.

It was when I was basking in a sense of victory at that sight. I should have been well aware that my opponent was Go Yohan. Go Yohan, who had been lying down, suddenly got up and pushed me, and my back mercilessly pressed the horn.

Bbaang-! The loud noise that rang out was drowned out by the rain. I saw traces of car headlights turning on and off somewhere far away.

A groan was swallowed down my throat. It was a sound I never thought I’d make in my life. My shoulders, which had been tense, stiffened. Even if I tried to pull my hips forward to avoid it as much as possible, I couldn’t escape because of Go Yohan’s body, which was pressing against me from the front. My Penis was already trembling violently inside, and I felt like I was about to fall backward at any moment.

“Are you trying to kill me?”

Go Yohan only said disgusting things in an unstable voice.

I didn’t even have the strength to open my mouth, so I raised my fist and punched Go Yohan’s shoulder, but Go Yohan didn’t budge. He was just breathing slowly, only moving his body slightly. And then our eyes met.

At that moment, I realized that the current Go Yohan was in a state where he couldn’t hear anything. His pupils were dilated. Exactly. The look in Go Yohan’s eyes right before he loses it. Even now, it was the last thing left in my memory of that painful night.

The moment I saw that look, a thrill ran through me, and a tingling sensation lingered at the tips of my toes. The dark pupils, which couldn’t be read, and the bright irises, which didn’t seem to contain any rational thought, crushed my mind. I impulsively reached out my hand.

Does Go Yohan know? That there are times when Go Yohan’s eyes only contain me. Often, I fall into those dark and transparent eyes, becoming a docile mammal that doesn’t resist, even knowing that I can’t breathe.

“……”

I wrapped my arms around Go Yohan’s neck and hugged him tightly, so tightly that it hurt my chest. Then, I buried my face in his unusually smooth and long neck and gently bit it. The huge Penis I had been holding below throbbed greatly, and the root slipped out of my insides, then slipped back in again due to the gravity of my weight. As the parts that had been in contact separated, the subtle breeze that entered through the gap made my wet lower body feel cold.

That was the beginning.

A firm hand grabbed my waist. If it had been bare skin, I might have screamed, unable to withstand the intense pressure. And then the world spun around, making all sorts of loud noises as it spun. Something hard even hit my calf hard.

“Ah, aah!”

I opened my eyes wide because it hurt so much, but Go Yohan’s side was even more of a mess. He hit the window with his shoulder, hit the ceiling with the back of his head like I had earlier, and the small devices that had been attached to the front of the car all fell to the bottom at once. With every slight movement, the body, whose size couldn’t be controlled, bumped into every corner of the car without exception.

I couldn’t come to my senses even after screaming.

My back hit the seat where Go Yohan had been sitting. My head touched where Go Yohan’s head had been. The hot warmth melted my back. Unfortunately, the position wasn’t stable. The seat was in the wrong place, and there was a cliff below my head. When I turned my head slightly, the floor of the back seat looked so dizzying.

Go Yohan, I think I’m going to fall. Just as I was about to say that, the Penis, which had been burning hot as if scratching the ticklish joint, slowly slipped out. An indescribable sensation made my feet curl inward.

It was just as the smooth glans was slowly slipping out. The moment I twisted my body to get into position, it tore through my insides at an unexpectedly fast speed and stabbed the tip into me.

“Haa-euk!”

My mind went blank.

Go Yohan’s neck, which I had been desperately clinging to so as not to fall down, and my fingers, which had been hooked around it, curled up like claws.

“……Hic, eugh.”

Amidst my collapsing mind, I felt something grabbing my feet. At that time, I couldn’t judge what I was doing, how I was doing it, or what the situation was. Something, it felt like my legs were wrapped around Go Yohan’s waist. No, I just don’t know. It hurts, it hurts so much that I feel like I’m going crazy.

I felt something flowing out of my swollen and festering eyes again. Go Yohan was visible through my blurry vision. He was lifting his head, closing his eyes, and biting his lips… At the same time, the sensation of his Penis, which had been heavily pressing down on my inner walls, crying out as if trembling with pleasure, flowed into me. My lower abdomen, where the ends met, trembled as if vibrating slightly.

Ah. As if he had enjoyed all of the short thrill, Go Yohan, who had a faint smile on his face, lowered his head and looked at me.

“Just hold on a little longer. Okay?”

My neck was bent backward, and I couldn’t do anything, so I just shook my head up and down while crying. A hot and firm palm gently rubbed my cheek.

And Go Yohan’s last bit of control was released.

The thick and long Penis came out long and deep. My head spun at the sensation of being pierced as if tearing through my inner walls with some kind of arm. It felt like Ejaculate had been poured over my head. The white and sticky fluid clouded my mind.

The strength in my arms, which I had been using to cling to Go Yohan’s body so as not to fall, was gradually fading. I desperately tried to cling on with my fingernails, but my body was already gradually falling downward. The fact that I couldn’t cover or close my mouth had already fallen to the floor, covered in Ejaculate.

“Ah, eugh, eugh……!”

It felt like my mucous membrane was melting. Even as it brushed against me hotly and scratched me, my insides were trying to draw in the Penis that was coming in. My pleasure-soaked body was just moving as it wanted.

“Ah, eugh!”

The moment the tips of my fingers trembled and lost strength, Go Yohan grabbed one of my arms and lifted my body. I screamed in pain as if my shoulder was dislocating. Only then did Go Yohan stop thrusting his hips incessantly, and then he grabbed my waist with his remaining hand and pulled me down.

“Eugh!”

I thought there was no more room to enter, but my breath stopped at the pressure that dug in as if tearing through the remaining flesh. A stuttering voice strangled my throat. While I was trembling at the presence that had entered and wouldn’t leave, both of my hands were grabbed. I felt ten fingers digging between my fingers. The movement was quite gentle. But in reality, there was nowhere for our hands to let go.

Go Yohan and I were still, holding each other’s hands as if clinging to each other. We made eye contact, didn’t move, and felt each other’s presence. I sniffed once and stared intently at Go Yohan’s face. I scanned every detail: his slender and deep eyes, long eyelashes, neatly extended high nose, and dry skin. Go Yohan was doing the same thing as me, and our eyes met in the air a few times.

I didn’t have any thoughts while looking at his face. He’s handsome, I guess. But he’s not my type. I think I had thoughts like that, but my mind was already in the same state as if I had my face in a fish tank. It meant that my thoughts were soon dissolving into the water and disappearing. I was just vomiting white liquid and letting go of my mind.

Go Yohan lowered his head and looked down, then lifted my outer garment with one hand. And then he made a strange expression.

“Did you just go while looking at my face?”

“……”

The face I saw in the meeting gaze was strangely red, but that might have been because my vision was colorful and wet, so I might have been mistaken.

“Jun-ah, the people around you don’t know how cute you are like this.”

Damn it, it’s just you. You’re the only one who feels that way. Only you.

Even knowing that, the spasming insides, the entrance that was holding his Penis, relaxed and tightened. I only knew that Go Yohan, who was lifting my clothes, was slightly frowning and stiffening his body. Why Go Yohan of all people? Just…because Go Yohan had filled my head before I knew it.

A dazzling brilliance, so dazzling and dazzling that it was dazzling, lingered subtly between my lower abdomen. I felt a firm hand caressing my chest, which was subtly digging into my clothes and heaving. Every time the sensitive part brushed against the hard fingers, I put strength into my waist.

Forcibly waking up my drowsy mind, I looked at Go Yohan’s right hand, which was still intertwined with mine. Only two fingers were stuck in my fingers, and three fingers were awkwardly holding only the side of my hand. I slowly pulled that hand.

Go Yohan asked with his eyes. Still caressing my chest with his hand. And subtly starting to move his hips. He seemed to be in considerable pain, judging by the fact that he was frowning so much because he couldn’t move as much as he wanted because of the seat. But I don’t know why I felt so affectionate about that.

Am I crazy? I guess I must be crazy. I moved my hand and carefully released Go Yohan’s fingers. Go Yohan was still looking at me with a face that seemed to be asking what I was doing. That made me feel playful.

Why are you looking at me like that? You do whatever you want, so why can’t I do whatever I want?

My mind, which had gone crazy with adrenaline, gave the order. Open your mouth. And put in what you like.

“Haa……”

Three long fingers came deep into my mouth. To be exact, I put them in. And I licked the fingers that were gradually stiffening with my tongue. I was still teasing Go Yohan with my eyes.

“Crazy bastard.”

Along with Go Yohan’s low curse, the hard thing that had been filled inside came out and in by half.

“Ah, ah.”

It didn’t come in as if tearing through my inner walls. It moved softly as if pressing down dully. However, the problem was that the slow and soft movement was more painful for me, who was burning all over. The tips of my toes gradually curled up.

I weakly bit down on the fingers that were hanging in my mouth, but Go Yohan didn’t take his hand out of my mouth. He was just moving stiffly as if pressing down on my tongue.

Every time the hot and thick thing came out, I could feel the sensation of my inner walls, which had been stuck to it, being pulled down. Go Yohan’s appearance, with his eyes closed and his body heaving with his Penis half-pulled out like that, was too stimulating for me.

I was getting impatient. Even though he had clearly Ejaculated, the aftershocks didn’t stop. Rather, the slightly bent Penis was about to drive me crazy because I could feel the bent shape every time it went in and out. Go Yohan, who had pulled out his Penis halfway like that, bit his lip until it turned white and took his hand out of my mouth in one swift motion as if he had made up his mind.

That’s when I realized.

“Ah, n-no.”

My tongue was brushed by Go Yohan’s fingers, and I babbled in a strange pronunciation. A wet hand grabbed my waist. And Go Yohan lifted me up and tried to pull out the Penis that had been half-inserted. Even though it had swelled up so much that it felt like it was about to burst.

I just had one thought: I didn’t want to. So I recklessly twisted both legs that had gone up to his waist. And I desperately pressed down on Go Yohan’s back.

A low groan passed by briefly. I could feel the full force in Go Yohan’s tightly pressed stomach on my buttocks and thighs. The already damp inner walls gently accepted the Penis that was swollen to the point of bursting.

“Jun-ah, take this out.”

Go Yohan, who was flustered, lifted his waist, but I don’t know. I just shook my head and reached out my arms. I put my arms around Go Yohan’s neck, who was trying to pull his body out, and pressed down on him. Because of that, Go Yohan lost his balance and fell forward before he knew it.

“I-.”

Go Yohan quickly lifted his face and said, but it was already too late.

I deliberately tightened my entrance. With all my strength. It was just a selfish desire not to have what was contained inside me taken away. Then the Penis that had been contained inside me thrashed, and soon began to pour Ejaculate inside me along with aftershocks. Rather than feeling something coming in, I was melting into the hip thrusts that instinctively moved my waist and pushed the tip in deeper.

“Ah, aah…… Ah, ah……. Keuk, keuheuk.”

I definitely went earlier. I definitely went forward earlier. All my muscles were contracting.

My mind still hadn’t returned. My whole body was trembling minutely, and I was groaning uncontrollably. Every time the fingernails that had been touching the seat trembled rapidly, I could hear the sound of leather and fingernails colliding. The front was now so blurry that I couldn’t see anything. It was too hard to breathe.

“Haa……”

Go Yohan was definitely still moving his waist gently even though he had poured out all of the thick and long Ejaculate. Even as I heaved, I thought that Go Yohan’s actions would make the Ejaculate that was filling my insides go even deeper inside.

Nothing was coming out of my Penis. But I was writhing with pleasure as if my whole body was being bent, breathing out of rhythm. The uncontrollable trembling stopped when Go Yohan stopped moving and let out a long breath. Go Yohan, who had been catching his breath like that for a long time, raised his heavy body and said.

“Did you not go just now?”

Go Yohan gently pushed my Penis with his hand. I didn’t have the strength to resist, so I just breathed.

Did I not go? I don’t know. I was just exhausted, dazed, and soaking in a strange languor even though my whole body was sore as if I had muscle pain.

“I’ll scrape it out for you when we get home.”

The Penis, which still had some firmness left, came out in one swift motion. When the tip of the Penis was placed on the entrance, Go Yohan lowered his hand. From what I could see, he seemed to be grabbing the end with his thumb and forefinger and pulling it out with force. Soon, the thick glans popped out with the sound of wet flesh rubbing against each other.

I looked at the air while heaving my chest up and down. As my mind gradually cleared, the inside of the car finally came into view properly. It was a complete mess.

The window was full of moisture. Heavy rain was still pouring down on it. I could see traces of people passing by between the distorted streaks of light. I covered my face with my hands. Crazy-. My reason was finally starting to come back.

“Don’t worry. I’ll scrape it all out for you. It didn’t hurt, did it? Back then, either.”

I lowered my hand and looked in the direction where I felt warmth. When did that bastard get dressed? Go Yohan, with the back of his head against the car ceiling, pressed my eyes with his stiff fingers as he fastened his buckle. Then, he gently swept outwards.

Shame came over me even more strongly at those words.

“I, I… I’ve never… I’ve never done anything like this before.”

“Car sex? Or not cumming and leaving?”

His words were filled with laughter. As he said that, he supported himself on the seat with his hand, stretched out his disgustingly long legs, and moved his body to the passenger seat. Then, he leaned back in the seat I had been sitting in. Each and every movement was so clean and efficient that it annoyed me even more.

“Jun-ah, look at my injured back.”

Go Yohan wore a smile that looked like a sneer and showed me his back. I wiped the tears from my nose and chin with the back of my hand, and I almost reached out towards Go Yohan’s back without realizing it.

Go Yohan’s back was more of a mess than the car. Blood was flowing along the red nail marks on his neck, his shoulders were red and swollen, and there were already blue marks on his distorted shoulder blades.

I touched Go Yohan’s back lightly with my fingertips. Then, I suddenly saw my reflection in the car window, where a small waterfall was flowing. I saw myself with an expression more distorted than Go Yohan’s scars.

“Damn it.”

But at those words, Go Yohan’s face flushed instantly, and he hid his back. Like a fool who had just realized his mistake. And he couldn’t even make eye contact properly, awkwardly smiling as he said this.

“…Is it too gruesome?”

“…”

Idiot.

I unconsciously looked at my hand. The tips of my fingernails were subtly stained red. Damn it. I clenched my fist without realizing it. First, I lifted my waist and stood up, stepping on the drawer between the seats with my knees. Then, I pulled my body out and called Go Yohan’s name in a low voice.

“Go Yohan.”

Go Yohan’s gloomy eyes turned to me. A sharp and somber gaze. Those eyes that had completely turned my life upside down.

“Pretty.”

I didn’t wait for an answer. I brazenly wrapped my hand around the side of Go Yohan’s head. And I kissed the lips that had parted to say something to me. It wasn’t long. It was because my back hurt as if it would break. I bit his lip slightly at the stinging pain and then pulled my body back and sat down.

“Jun-ah.”

“Ah, wait a second—.”

Perhaps because I had moved so abruptly, the ticklish sensation that had brushed against my inner walls was still trickling down from the slightly throbbing entrance. Damn it. Even as my face flushed with embarrassment, I couldn’t help but remember what Go Yohan had said before.

‘Your Semen will get on my car.’

It was a reflexive action. To be honest, it wasn’t mine, but Go Yohan’s.

I lifted both legs and hurriedly lowered my hand. After putting my hand between my legs, I gathered the Ejaculate dripping from inside the hole with my hand and put it back inside. Then, I slightly blocked the gap with my middle finger. Fortunately, it didn’t flow out. Just when I felt relieved, the Ejaculate gushed out again, as if the tension had been released.

“Ah, damn it. Just a moment, I’ll take care of it.”

After pushing the leaking fluid back in with my fingers several times, there was only an uncomfortable feeling, but it didn’t flow out anymore. Okay. I tried not to put any strength in my stomach as much as possible, and with my fingers blocking the small, panting hole, I lifted my head with minimal movement and said.

“Sorry. At least it didn’t get on the seat.”

And only after lifting my head did I realize what I had done. Bright eyes filled with lust were trembling slightly as if embarrassed, and at the same time, they were pouring out a hot and heavy intention, and even though the rain was hitting the car window noisily, I could hear Go Yohan swallowing.