By Zephyria 
[From the beginning. During the script reading, he was cold to us, but polite to Choi Do-hoon sunbae-nim, the director, and all the adults. I thought, ‘Oh, he’s not such a jerk after all.’]
Yoon Joo-ho’s laughter grew louder. He leaned back comfortably against the backrest.
The monotonous time that had been flowing so slowly just moments ago was now refreshed. Just talking to him changed the meaning of time. He never thought someone could change his life and existence like this. He had always believed he was someone who couldn’t tolerate such a thing. But with him, it felt natural from the start. There was no need to make an effort to accept it.
Having received enough petting to its satisfaction, Monroe shook its head and climbed onto the table. Sitting on the small round table, it gazed down at the city’s night view, looking quite lonely.
[Sunbae said earlier, right? That even when I was a high school student, I wouldn’t have listened.]
“Why is that?”
[There’s no way someone like that would start listening now.]
“……”
[Don’t worry. Even if the whole nation, not just your grandparents, opposes it, I’m yours, and you’re mine.]
“……”
[Sunbae, are you listening?]
“I’m listening.”
[Then why aren’t you saying anything? You should react when you hear a love confession like this. Oh, are you perhaps crying from being moved?]
How could he do this every time?
He recognized his anxiety and identified the reason for it. He could be foolishly dense at times, but in the moments when it truly mattered, Yoon Joo-ho always provided the understanding he needed. Without unnecessary misunderstandings or blunders. He was always amazed by that.
“I’d have to be worried to feel relieved and moved.”
[You weren’t worried?]
“I wasn’t.”
[Tsk, putting on a tough act…]
“There’s no reason for me to worry about you.”
[So, you’re that confident in me?]
“If you ever leave me, I’ll hold a press conference and show everyone my inside-out lips.”
“……”
“To show them what we were like.”
[Wow… then I won’t be able to meet anyone else for the rest of my life.]
“Don’t even dream about it.”
Song Hyun-soo’s low laughter could be heard. It sounded like he was rubbing his eyes.
[Don’t talk nonsense. Who else would I dream about while dating Yoon Joo-ho?]
“Are you sleepy?”
[I’m not sleepy. I want to talk more.]
“Your voice is full of sleepiness.”
[I didn’t realize it, but I guess I was nervous today too.]
“I really like how you can fall asleep even in this situation.”
[What about you, sunbae?]
“What about me?”
[Can you sleep without me? Shouldn’t you turn on the TV and sleep for the first time in a while?]
Yoon Joo-ho turned his head to look at the TV that had been on until recently. But tonight, he felt like he could fall asleep without the TV. Because he had reassured him.
He stroked Monroe’s back as it sat regally, like the king of the world, and called its name.
“Song Hyun-soo.”
[Yes.]
“Come quickly tomorrow.”
[…Why?]
“Monroe misses you.”
Song Hyun-soo giggled sleepily on the other end of the line. Just the fact that someone was laughing made him feel relieved. Such things were still amazing to Yoon Joo-ho. Even if nothing had been resolved, he felt better when that guy laughed. If that guy wasn’t anxious, he felt better too. What a strange guy.
[Sunbae, you need to graduate from using Monroe as an excuse.]
“Hyun-soo-ya.”
[Yes?]
“Happy birthday.”
“……”
Song Hyun-soo was silent for a moment. And soon, he replied in a warm voice filled with a smile.
[Thank you, honey sugar darling. I’m not lying, it was the best birthday ever.]
He knew that his words were not a lie. Even though he hadn’t received permission from his grandparents, they had reaffirmed their feelings for each other and their solidity. So, it was one of the best days for Yoon Joo-ho too.
After ending the call, Yoon Joo-ho sat there blankly for a while. He stroked Monroe’s back and gave a meaningless gaze to the night view outside the window.
Although he had bought this house at his parents’ insistence, the night view of the Han River, which symbolized a successful life, had never moved Yoon Joo-ho. The blinds and curtains were almost always drawn, and the house was just a place to sleep.
Occasionally, guests would come and praise the overwhelming view, but the dazzling lights of the city that they admired were just artificial products to Yoon Joo-ho.
But now it was different.
Light existed because someone had turned it on.
Therefore, each of those lights was a person, and each had their own story, and so the light had warmth and was alive.
The scenery in front of him would be the same as before. Just because one person had come into his heart, by his side, his attitude and perspective on it changed.
Making him feel longing for the unfamiliar, and making him see the familiar in a new light… For Yoon Joo-ho, Song Hyun-soo was a person who simultaneously caused déjà vu and jamais vu.
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been looking down at the script in front of him, picked up his phone again.
[Did you meet Hyun-soo’s grandparents?]
As soon as the call connected, Director Bang asked that question as if he had been waiting for it.
“Yeah.”
[How did it go?]
“It’s not a pass yet.”
[Yeah… I guess they wouldn’t accept it that easily. Hey, don’t be too down about it…]
“Hyung.”
[Yeah, why?]
“I’m not worried about that anymore.”
[Do you think I don’t know that you were anxious about losing Hyun-soo because his grandparents opposed it? Why are you putting on a tough act in front of me?]
“It’s not a tough act, it’s just that I felt that way after meeting them. I think they’ll accept it if I steadily reassure them in the future. They’re just surprised now and need time. They’re warm people.”
[That’s a relief. Then why did you call?]
Yoon Joo-ho fiddled with the edge of the script’s cover.
“Hyun-soo… I’m worried about him taking that role.”
[Are you sure it’s okay? You were worried.]
“That guy is ready. I was the one who wasn’t.”
[Hyun-soo will do well. Honestly, it’s a good opportunity that’s hard to pass up.]
“Yeah.”
[Then what about you?]
“What about me?”
[Aren’t you going to appear?]
“Only Hyun-soo should go.”
[The offer casting came to you in the first place. The writer strongly wants you. At least meet and listen to what they have to say.]
Yoon Joo-ho and Song Hyun-soo had been offered the same project.
Yoon Joo-ho had received an ‘offer-only casting’ proposal. It was a proposal where he could join the project as long as the actor agreed, without having to audition.
Song Hyun-soo had received a ‘designated audition’ proposal. It was a method of holding a formal audition that was no different from a meet-and-greet, in a state where the casting was almost confirmed.
Perhaps they were casting the two in the same project to continue the buzz of <Dissolve>. But neither the director nor the writer were people who would cast an unqualified actor for that reason alone. Whether Song Hyun-soo realized it or not, he had already begun to be recognized.
Whether it was tired of chasing the lights and looking down at the night view, Monroe turned its body and rubbed its head against Yoon Joo-ho’s hand. Stroking its head, Yoon Joo-ho said in a resolute voice, as if he had already made up his mind.
“To have us both appear in the same project in a row? That’s too risky.”
Director Bang chuckled lightly.
[Since when have you cared about that?]
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho also burst out laughing.
Director Bang was right. No matter who he was dating, it was impossible for Yoon Joo-ho to turn down a project to protect that relationship. Nothing could take precedence over acting. But now, naturally, as if it were obvious, he was making such a decision. To protect him, to protect us.
[Huh? Say something, you punk. Since when has Yoon Joo-ho cared about that?]
“…Starting with Song Hyun-soo.”
“……”
Director Bang’s laughter, which had been playfully teasing, subsided. Yoon Joo-ho, who was belatedly embarrassed, hurriedly ended the call.
“Anyway, keep that in mind and proceed.”
He leaned his arm on the table and tapped Monroe’s nose. It rubbed its head against him, acting cute.
“Does Hyun-soo’s Dad miss him?”
Niyang. He tilted his head further towards the creature that was crying in a small voice. The fact that there was someone else waiting for Song Hyun-soo was a small comfort.
“So, this is what it means to miss someone.”
It was a line he had said countless times in numerous works. But he had only been imitating it without knowing what that feeling was.
Miyaang.
Monroe came closer and rubbed its face against Yoon Joo-ho’s chin. As if comforting him.
The approaching cat’s paw pointed to the printed title on the cover of the script.
Responsible Producer Choi Kang-young
Written by Yang Ha-jeong
<Déjà vu>