By Zephyria 
Carrying two cocktail glasses on a tray, Song Hyun-soo crossed the floor of ‘Jessica’. The tables were almost full. While Saturday evenings were indeed the busiest time of the week, this level of crowding was unprecedented.
Song Hyun-soo stopped at table B-12. It was the same table where Yoon Joo-ho had first sat when he visited ‘Jessica’.
“I’ll prepare your ordered cocktails.”
“Wow, look at the colors. They’re like jewels.”
“Did the actor make them himself?”
That’s right. Most of the customers occupying tables at ‘Jessica’ on Saturday night had come after hearing rumors that ‘actor Song Hyun-soo’ worked there. More accurately, it should be said that Yoon Gyeol-ho had come to see the person Yoon Joo-ho exclusively followed.
The title ‘actor-nim’ felt awkward and embarrassing, but he put on his professional smile and showed his characteristic friendliness.
“Of course. These two cocktails are ones I’m particularly confident in. I hope you like them.”
Coincidentally, the two cocktails ordered were ‘Kiss of Fire’ and ‘Sex on the Beach’.
The former was a cocktail he had made for Jeong Seong-won at Yoon Joo-ho’s birthday party, and the latter was a cocktail he had made while confessing to Yoon Joo-ho using a line from
The customer who ordered ‘Kiss of Fire’ asked cautiously.
“Excuse me, sorry to bother you during work. Could we take a picture together?”
“If it’s not possible, please feel free to refuse!”
Song Hyun-soo readily agreed to the request.
“Our bar manager strongly encourages photos with customers. I’d be very grateful if you’d take one with us.”
They took a selfie together and chatted briefly. These were people who had found Song Hyun-soo through Yoon Joo-ho’s social media and then followed Song Hyun-soo as well.
“By the way, how are the cats you posted on social media doing?”
“The one with the dot next to its nose, that one was the only one left, I think.”
“Ah… I hadn’t uploaded that yet, but thankfully, that one also found a good adoptive family and was adopted.”
“That’s a relief!”
Yes, it was adopted into an amazing family and achieved a cat life reversal. It now lives in a penthouse with a Han River view, surrounded by luxurious toys. With Yoon Joo-ho as its butler, no less.
“Can I tag you and the bar location on social media with a photo?”
“Of course. Our manager would be thrilled.”
As he walked back to the bar counter after saying goodbye, he could hear pleasant remarks behind him. He looks much better in person, taller than expected, nice personality, cute, and so on… As an actor, he had rarely received this kind of attention, so he felt shy but his lips couldn’t help but curl up.
Rubbing the back of his neck, Song Hyun-soo placed the tray on the counter and said to the smiling manager.
“Manager-nim, I’d like a short break.”
“Ah, of course, of course. Our Song actor-nim needs to get plenty of rest.”
The manager, who had seemed to view Song Hyun-soo with disdain just a few months ago, was now openly doting on him. Song Hyun-soo chuckled, and the manager laughed along.
Taking off his apron, Song Hyun-soo exited through the back door via the kitchen behind the counter.
He put on his padding and lit a cigarette.
Through the narrow gap in the sky, he could still see signs for billiard halls, PC bangs, and pubs. But that scenery no longer felt like a barrier preventing him from escaping.
Instead, he already felt a sense of nostalgia for this view.
Someday, he would quit ‘Jessica’ completely and step into a completely different daily life…
After taking two or three puffs, Song Hyun-soo took out his phone.
His smile, which had been a smirk while looking at Yoon Joo-ho’s message, slowly faded. He returned to his call log and scrolled down. It had been several weeks since his last call with Jung Ji-in. He had exchanged occasional text messages since then, but this was the longest he had gone without a proper call since Jung Ji-in left for France.
He was conscious of it, bothered by it… but the biggest reason was that he wasn’t sure how to approach the conversation.
He didn’t want to reveal his twisted jealousy or inferiority complex during a call with his unsettled feelings. He didn’t want to hurt Jung Ji-in or ruin their relationship with it.
“Just look at me. Just think about how much I love you.”
Yoon Joo-ho’s words were the deciding factor.
His plea not to be swept away by an unchangeable past, but to focus only on the heart that loved him now.
It felt like even the small lingering anxiety had melted away with those words.
He played around, scrolling up and down, and finally made up his mind, touching Jung Ji-in’s saved name.
It was around 3 PM in Paris now.
He might be practicing acting or working out.
He knew that hyung would know I know everything, so what if it’s awkward?
He nervously took a drag from his cigarette while waiting for the call to connect.
[Oh, Hyun-soo-ya!]
His voice sounded as welcoming as ever. Song Hyun-soo felt grateful and, at the same time, guilty again.
“Hyung.”
[Are you busy? Can you talk?]
“I’m off today, so I’m working part-time at ‘Jessica’.”
[You’re working part-time even on your day off? Are you okay? You seem to be pushing yourself too hard.]
“Still, I need to earn some pocket money. I still want to make more cocktails.”
[Right. You won’t be able to do that kind of part-time job once you become famous.]
“Assuming I become famous as an actor, of course.”
[What reason would there be for you not to succeed? You have solid acting skills now, a solid mentality, and someone strong supporting you.]
The person strongly supporting me.
Song Hyun-soo tapped his cigarette, shaking off the ash, and began to speak in a rather serious tone.
“Hyung, I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch often.”
[What’s there to be sorry about? You’re busy. There are times when you need to focus on your work.]
“It’s not that, I… I was avoiding you.”
[…]
“It’s not because I dislike you, but because I was afraid I’d make a mistake with you.”
Jung Ji-in, who had been listening quietly, spoke cautiously.
[It’s not different for me, Hyun-soo-ya.]
“…”
[I too…]
Jung Ji-in’s voice trembled over the phone. Song Hyun-soo was greatly surprised. To Song Hyun-soo, Jung Ji-in was someone steadfast, who wouldn’t waver or break under any circumstances.
[I was afraid of losing you because of this.]
His vision momentarily blurred. He had to brace his nose and mouth tightly to avoid crying.
[When I found out you were dating Yoon Joo-ho, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you right away.]
Even though he knew Jung Ji-in couldn’t see him, Song Hyun-soo shook his head vigorously.
“Don’t say that, hyung. You said Joo-ho Sunbae threatened you not to tell me, right? And honestly… if I had found out through you, it would have been even more shocking. It’s true that you didn’t tell me. Joo-ho Sunbae should have told me himself.”
[You’ve probably already heard from Yoon Joo-ho, but I wasn’t actually dating or anything.]
“I know.”
[As you saw when you lived at the dorm, we didn’t meet that often.]
With teary eyes, Song Hyun-soo let out a small chuckle.
“Why are you trying so hard to make excuses, hyung?”
From the other end of the line, Jung Ji-in’s laughter was also heard.
[When you called me, Yoon Joo-ho. He looked truly desperate.]
“…”
[Not trying to grab something after losing it. It was strange that he was someone who could even fabricate lies out of fear of losing you. I was also surprised to hear that Yoon Joo-ho wasn’t the only one who liked you, but that you two were dating.]
“I’m sorry, hyung. For not telling you sooner.”
[Given who the other person is, it’s a difficult matter to talk about. He’s Yoon Joo-ho, and also, he’s a man.]
“It was shocking that there was something between you and Joo-ho Sunbae.”
Song Hyun-soo could feel Jung Ji-in’s breathing becoming unsteady over the phone.
“But I’ve also realized something.”
However, Song Hyun-soo felt more at peace than ever. He spoke the truth more comfortably than ever.
“That Yoon Joo-ho is someone I can’t give up on, to the point where it transcends all of that.”
He wasn’t saying this to Yoon Joo-ho himself. He felt strange talking such sentimental things to a third party, and he chuckled, lowering his head.
Meetings and partings were never that difficult or complicated. This kind of entangled relationship, where they couldn’t let go of each other and swore they’d die if they did, was a first for Song Hyun-soo.
[Hyun-soo-ya.]
From Jung Ji-in’s voice calling him, Song Hyun-soo sensed a solemnity characteristic of someone who had made a decision.
[You said there was someone you wanted to introduce me to someday when I visit Paris.]
“Yes.”
[It’s my lover.]
“Huh? Really? Hyung, you found a lover there? Wow, congratulations!”
[Um… well… actually, I moved here from Korea with this person to be with them.]
“Y-you moved here together from the start??”
[I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you sooner. They’re also a public figure, and… it wasn’t easy to bring up because we’re a same-sex couple.]
Song Hyun-soo felt he understood, to some extent, why Jung Ji-in was bringing this up now. Perhaps he wanted to convey, somehow, that whatever had existed between him and Yoon Joo-ho was now merely a perfect past for both of them.
Song Hyun-soo took a puff from his shortened cigarette and smiled faintly.
“I’m glad, hyung.”
[Huh?]
“It’s lonely to adapt and live alone in a foreign place. I’m glad you have someone you love by your side.”
He could say it sincerely, and he could smile sincerely.
And, he was glad he could do so.
“Hyung, don’t hesitate to contact me from now on. I won’t either.”
[Okay.]
“I don’t want to lose you because of that incident.”
[Me neither.]
“And there’s something I need to tell you in advance.”
[What is it?]
“Something is going to happen from now on. I don’t want you to be too surprised or worried.”
[What do you mean, something will happen…]
Jung Ji-in’s voice immediately stiffened.
He and Song Hyun-soo had gone through the incident of losing Choi Hong-seo together.
They knew all too well that even small incidents could be a major blow to people whose faces and names were known.
“It’s related to Joo-ho Sunbae, more than me. But we’re doing this with full knowledge, and we have a plan. So, whatever blows up, don’t be surprised, just wait a little.”
[Did you, by any chance, ask Yoon Joo-ho to come out together? Did you agree to that?]
Jung Ji-in’s voice sounded so sincere that Song Hyun-soo burst out laughing instead.
“Why would the conversation go that way?”
[No, seeing him back then, Yoon Joo-ho seemed like the type to do just that.]
The fact that Yoon Joo-ho, and Yoon Joo-ho’s feelings for him, appeared that way to others was, in any case, good news.
Better than hearing he was much better looking in person, or cute, or things like that.
He tilted his chin up and looked at the sky. It was a hazy sky where stars were barely visible, unlike Myung Hae-ri’s pitch-black night, but to Song Hyun-soo, it looked like the same sky.
[Hyun-soo, you’re not getting into something dangerous, are you?]
“It’s nothing like that, hyung. This time, I’m going to fight back properly.”
To go to a free and high place.
With him.
By our own strength.
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