By Zephyria As I was mesmerized by his smile, a large hand cupped the back of Song Hyun-soo’s head and pulled him in, lips meeting. The gentle rubbing of lips and the tongue that entered his mouth carried the sweet scent of canned peaches.
A sweetness that evoked nostalgia for childhood, a time I could never return to, where even the shabby and sorrowful emotions were beautified into memories.
As he kissed Yoon Joo-ho while lying on his stomach, Song Hyun-soo pulled away and smiled. Yoon Joo-ho, with a displeased expression, narrowed his eyes and looked down.
“You’re smiling during a kiss? We really need to do something about how you kill the mood.”
It’s not like that, Song Hyun-soo shook his head.
“It’s just funny that you taste like canned peaches, sunbae.”
A sad luxury I could only afford when I was sick as a child. To feel that common sweetness through you, who are a symbol of luxury to me…
“It’s because I feel like you’ve become a little bit like me.”
Did he notice the complex emotions hidden behind my awkward smile?
After gazing at Song Hyun-soo for a moment, Yoon Joo-ho embraced him tightly without a word. Not kissing, not playfully touching his backside. He simply held him close on his stomach, his fingers idly stroking the hair on the back of his head.
Song Hyun-soo, who had buried his lips near his neck, slowly lifted his head. He had intended to nurse the sick man, but he felt like he was the one being comforted.
Beneath the shadow of his long lashes, I looked into his deep eyes and then leaned in to kiss him first. I licked his delicate yet stubborn-looking thin lips, then pressed them together with a wet smack before pulling away. All the while, Yoon Joo-ho had been watching Song Hyun-soo intently from beneath his lowered eyelids.
“It’s strange,” he murmured as if to himself, brushing Song Hyun-soo’s hair back from his forehead.
“What else?”
“No matter how I look at it, you’re not my type.”
“Yes, yes, sunbae’s type is beautiful people.”
Yoon Joo-ho lightly gripped Song Hyun-soo’s jaw, which nodded dismissively, and met his eyes, raising his eyebrows.
“You don’t care that I say you’re not my type?”
“So what if I’m not your type? You were the one who first seduced me, saying you wanted to sleep with me. And you were the one who chased after me, begging to date.”
“You have a remarkably fabricated memory.”
“Liking someone because they’re your type or your ideal is, honestly, not that significant.”
“Oh, really?”
“It means you liked me not because it was me, but because I fit your type. It just so happened that I was your type. But you’re dating me even though I’m not your type? That means you like me enough to transcend your type, that you like me for who I am.”
“Think whatever you want.”
Even as he said that, Yoon Joo-ho’s face was full of a pleased smile.
“You should admit it too, sunbae.”
“Admit what?”
“That you like me enough to transcend your type.”
Like, love. Even without saying those words with his lips, I could read his heart in his gaze and his smile. For now, that felt like enough.
Song Hyun-soo pressed his lips deeply against his smiling ones once more. Yoon Joo-ho’s arms wrapped around his lover’s torso as if he had been waiting, holding him tightly. It was a powerful embrace, as if to possess, as if to suffocate.
See, he likes me.
The moment I pulled back even a little, his tongue followed. With a smack, he kissed me, and when I tried to end the kiss, he pulled my head back and rubbed his lips against mine more intensely. I found him cute, acting like a boy begging for more kisses. We repeated the game of chase and capture, giggling, before I rolled over and got off his stomach. Feeling his fingers playing with my hair, I gazed at his face and then cautiously called out to him.
“Sunbae.”
“……”
“Please listen without getting angry.”
Yoon Joo-ho rolled his eyes up to the ceiling, feigning ignorance. Hmm… he made a sound like he was scratching the back of his throat.
“If you don’t say anything that would make me angry, I won’t get angry.”
“I saw Ji-in hyung’s number in your call history earlier.”
“……”
His wandering eyes returned to Song Hyun-soo. Song Hyun-soo pushed himself up from his prone position.
“I really didn’t look through it on purpose! I was just trying to see how I was saved…”
“So. What are you trying to say?”
“I was wondering if there’s any possibility of you two reconciling.”
“Do you want us to reconcile?”
Song Hyun-soo nodded earnestly.
“Of course. They’re the two people I like the most, and we used to be close.”
“The two people you like the most? I’m on the same level as Jung Ji-in, even though I’m your boyfriend?”
“Ah, that’s! The types of affection are different.”
“How are they different? Explain it specifically.”
“Don’t brush this off as a joke. Don’t you know that communication is the most important thing in a relationship?”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been gazing at me, gently gripped and shook the tip of Song Hyun-soo’s chin.
“Now you know how to coax me with kisses. You’ve gotten quite good.”
“What are you talking about? I didn’t kiss you for that.”
As Song Hyun-soo denied it with a flushed face, Yoon Joo-ho sat up and picked up the cigarette pack from the side table. Song Hyun-soo also got up completely, tidying himself. Sitting on the edge of the bed, with his back to me, I rubbed the back of my neck.
“Even between lovers, I don’t think you have the right to pry into things they don’t want to talk about.”
“Then why are you asking?”
Yoon Joo-ho, with the filter between his teeth, shot back, glancing sideways.
“But honestly, this isn’t something that has nothing to do with me.”
“How does it become that way?”
“Think about it,” Song Hyun-soo said earnestly.
“My boyfriend and his best friend were once close, but now they’re estranged. Do you know how much I have to be careful in between? I can’t even tell Ji-in hyung that I’m dating you, so I have to keep lying, and you make it obvious you dislike him every time he calls. I didn’t do anything wrong, so why do I have to be so anxious like a criminal? It’s unfair.”
This was the first time I had honestly confided about this issue. I couldn’t continue lying to Jung Ji-in like before, or be anxious about Yoon Joo-ho’s moods without having done anything wrong. It was something that had to be resolved someday.
Yoon Joo-ho only smoked, remaining silent.
“What is it, really? Is it something you can’t tell me?”
Song Hyun-soo waited patiently, without pressing.
As if about to say something, Yoon Joo-ho’s back straightened with several deep breaths. But then, he let out a sigh-like exhale and shook his head. He inhaled deeply, exhaled the smoke thinly, and spoke quickly in a low voice.
“It’s nothing much. It’s just that they were stubborn and prideful, and it fell apart. Since we live in different places now and can’t hang out like before, we don’t feel any particular need to reconcile.”
It was a similar explanation to what I had heard before. It wasn’t entirely convincing, but I decided not to pry further.
“Then why did he call? Wasn’t it to reconcile?”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been looking down at his hand holding the cigarette, turned to Song Hyun-soo. His gaze was firm, almost challenging.
“Me or Jung Ji-in. If you had to choose one, who would you pick?”
“Why is the conversation going there?”
“Answer me. Is it me, or Jung Ji-in?”
“What kind of question is that?”
“Is it Jung Ji-in? Is that why you can’t answer?”
“Don’t be unreasonable. What… are you serious?”
Song Hyun-soo scrutinized Yoon Joo-ho’s face. I had thought he was just joking. As he brought the filter to his lips and shrugged, his profile seemed to hide another intention.
Yoon Joo-ho, turning his head back to the front and hiding his expression, said as he tapped his cigarette into the ashtray.
“Depending on your answer, I’ll decide whether to tell you the secret… or not.”
“What is that? It’s not like you’re teasing me. The fight between you two has nothing to do with me. Why do I have to choose between you two?”
Yoon Joo-ho’s back, which he had turned to Song Hyun-soo, trembled slightly as he laughed. Whether it was a joke or serious, Song Hyun-soo grew more confused.
Yoon Joo-ho nodded a couple of times as if he had come to a realization, took a short puff of the filter, and opened his mouth.
“You said you didn’t want to lie, right?”
“……”
“From now on, you don’t have to lie to Jung Ji-in. I told him we’re dating.”
“……R, really?”
“That’s why he called.”
Song Hyun-soo unconsciously clutched his left chest. He felt more surprised than Jung Ji-in would be upon hearing that.
“Ah… then… what did hyung say? He must have been very surprised, right?”
“He seemed to not understand why you’re dating a guy like me?”
Only then did Song Hyun-soo let out a sly smile.
Crawling on his knees, he stuck close to Yoon Joo-ho’s back, who was sitting on the edge of the bed. Then, resting his chin on his shoulder, he kept giggling. Yoon Joo-ho, with a sullen expression, looked down and turned back.
“Does that one sentence make you that happy?”
“Everyone will react with disbelief, wondering why sunbae is dating me. It wouldn’t hurt to have at least one person think the opposite, right?”
Hugging Yoon Joo-ho’s waist, he rested his cheek on his upper back, below his shoulder, and listened only to his breathing.
It was a shame that the two of them hadn’t reconciled, but inevitably, that was a problem between them. At least, it was true that Yoon Joo-ho had endured discomfort and awkwardness for his sake, contacted Jung Ji-in, and revealed their relationship.
Adjusting the arms around his waist, he rubbed his cheek against his back.
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For telling hyung properly that we’re dating.”
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho said nothing in particular. Instead, he turned his body halfway, put an arm around Song Hyun-soo’s shoulder, pulled him in, and kissed him. It was a passionate kiss, almost sudden.
It was an afternoon, just a few days before the crank-in.
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