By Zephyria 
“You said you’d never raise a pet again. How did you change your mind?”
Yoon Joo-ho, leaning his arms on the table, poked the strawberry on top of the cake with his fork.
Strawberries. Every time Song Hyun-soo came to practice his lines, he would marvel at the good strawberries, no matter how good they were. And every time, he would insist Yoon Joo-ho try them.
As if appraising a jewel, Yoon Joo-ho slowly turned the strawberry on his fork, holding it at eye level, and spoke in a voice cracked with fatigue.
“They say if you try to stop something that wants to leave, it becomes resentment.”
“Oh, that’s a good point. Who said that?”
“…An old woman.”
“An old woman?”
Leaving Seohae’s curious questions unanswered, Yoon Joo-ho popped a strawberry into his mouth. The sour sweetness of the juice made him wrinkle his nose.
Song Hyun-soo had been interested in the cat family living temporarily in the lot at ‘Honey’s place’ from the very beginning. On days without script readings, he would deliberately go there just to see the cats, and he’d even shown Yoon Joo-ho photos. This one is this, that one is that, he’d explained, adding details.
Yoon Joo-ho didn’t like that.
He knew that as each cat was adopted and left, Song Hyun-soo would be happy yet also sad, and if any cats remained unadopted, he would worry about them too.
“Don’t get attached carelessly. Unsolicited kindness without taking responsibility is just meddling.” Yoon Joo-ho’s cold words had been directly contradicted by Song Hyun-soo.
“‘You said you shouldn’t stop something that wants to leave. If you force it, it becomes resentment.’
‘Who said that?’
‘My grandmother.’”
Thinking back, Song Hyun-soo had already been laying the groundwork then. To persuade him to bring the cats home.
Yoon Joo-ho chuckled at the thought that he had fallen for that trick. Smiling only with his eyes, Yoon Joo-ho picked up a piece of cake and put it in his mouth.
“But what happened to your body? It wasn’t like this before you went to Paris.”
At Seohae’s worried tone, Yoon Joo-ho swallowed the cake and looked down at his upper body. His torso, clad in an oversized black t-shirt, seemed even more filled out than before.
“Is it too much?”
“It’s not too much, but… it has gotten a bit bigger recently. You’re also pushing to go hard today. Did this role really require that much bulk?”
“I barely did any weight training.”
Yoon Joo-ho felt his shoulders and chest, checking the thickness and volume of his muscles.
“You must have had quite a bit of fun in Paris?”
Seohae glanced at Yoon Joo-ho with a sly smile. He clearly thought Yoon Joo-ho had been working out on the bed.
“Except for work, I stayed holed up in the hotel. The only time I went out was for a jog by the Seine at night.”
“I’ll ask again, Yoon Joo-ho. You stayed holed up in the hotel?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Wow… Did Yoon Joo-ho really stay celibate all the way in Paris? Because of Hyun-soo?”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been poking the cake with his fork, immediately scowled.
“Stop talking nonsense.”
“So you had extra energy from staying celibate, and you just worked out? Right? That’s it.”
“Did you see me dating a man?”
“Your mind could have changed.”
Yoon Joo-ho dropped his fork onto the plate with a clatter and leaned back against the chair.
“Sang-ho Hyung too. Why does everyone have such fantasies?”
He reached for his coffee cup, adding, “You called me trash as a man, and then you say this.”
Seohae watched Yoon Joo-ho drink his coffee with a detached, serene attitude, then cautiously began.
“Or, are you…”
“What.”
“Never mind.”
“Don’t hesitate like you’re not your usual self, just say it.”
“Is it still because of Ji-in?”
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been drinking coffee, subtly furrowed his brow. The name, heard at an unexpected moment, had caused it.
Seohae was one of the few people who knew about Yoon Joo-ho and Jung Ji-in’s relationship. Of course, neither of them had ever told him. Seohae, who knew them both and was perceptive, had simply figured it out at some point.
“It’s already been a year and a half since I got rejected in Bali. Do I look like a devoted lover to you?”
“Absolutely not.”
“Then why would you think—”
“But I’d never seen Yoon Joo-ho suffer so much because of someone.”
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho, who had been glaring at Seohae in silence, averted his gaze with a deep sigh. He fiddled with the handle of his coffee cup, bit his lower lip, and nodded in admission.
“Yes. I struggled to hold on, and I even suggested we date because I didn’t want it to end. I won’t deny that.”
“……”
“But that doesn’t mean I’ve been dragging this out until now.”
An unchanging person. Someone who would always be there, in the same place, looking the same, whenever he returned. Jung Ji-in was that kind of person to Yoon Joo-ho, and that was a precious value to him.
The unchanging Jung Ji-in was comforting, and he wished she would always be that way.
Yes. He wished she would always be that way. He hadn’t wanted anything more, like becoming lovers…
That’s why Jung Ji-in had denied it was love. It was just possessiveness born from the fear of losing something.
Jung Ji-in had said that kind of pain wasn’t love.
“If it’s none of those things, is it because you’re bothered by Hyun-soo being close to Ji-in?”
“Why does everyone come to the same conclusion?”
Yoon Joo-ho snorted and put down his coffee cup. He sat hunched over, shoving his hands into his pants pockets. His defiant gaze, like that of a teenage boy, pierced Seohae.
“Did Jung Ji-in and I live together and get divorced? Or, at the very least, did we date? Why should I care about that?”
Seohae clicked his tongue and shook his head.
“Right, this is Yoon Joo-ho. People don’t change that easily.”
Then, his eyes suddenly lit up, and he smiled meaningfully.
“Then can I aim for Hyun-soo?”
Yoon Joo-ho smirked, a crooked smile. “He has high standards.”
“I might not measure up to you, but I’m not bad either. And I have something you don’t.”
“No, you don’t.”
“Why not? Look at me now. You’re unlucky. And you’re rude. I’m a man who can gently care for a kitten heartbroken by some awful person.”
“You already have two. Don’t be greedy. It’s beyond your capabilities.”
“You don’t like me taking him, do you?”
“He’s not someone you can mess with.”
Yoon Joo-ho’s tone was firm.
Even though Song Hyun-soo appeared rough and carefree, it hadn’t taken long for Yoon Joo-ho to realize he wasn’t heartless. It wasn’t that he didn’t get hurt, but rather that he didn’t dwell on his wounds or show them to others.
“What’s wrong with me? I’m a serious person.”
Pfft, Yoon Joo-ho scoffed.
“You like seriousness, do you?”
“I think I’m at least more serious than you. If I can’t have him, can someone like you touch him?”
“Who’s touching whom?”
This time, Yoon Joo-ho snapped. The expression that Yoon Joo-ho had touched Song Hyun-soo was extremely irritating.
“Then are you two dating? You’re not. So, you’re touching him.”
“What difference would dating make? In the end, you just break up.”
“That sounds like you’re afraid of breaking up, so you can’t even start.”
“……”
Yoon Joo-ho slowly raised his eyelids and looked across. His gaze was heavy and cold. It felt almost murderous, as if he were acting out a scene.
For a moment, Seohae knew he had touched upon the truth.
Anyone would become aggressive when their truth was touched.
“Oh, how scary.”
Seohae leaned back and brought the coffee cup to his lips.
Leaving the cake, which he had messed up, Yoon Joo-ho stood up from the stool.
He went down to the underground parking lot, tossed a sports bag into the passenger seat, and started playing music. Listening to the melody, now quite familiar, he picked up his phone.
He opened the electronic contract with Song Hyun-soo.
Jangmun-ro, Yongsan-gu, Seoul.
Looking down at the address written on the contract, he glanced back at the rear seat.
In the low, cramped rear seats, too small for an adult to sit comfortably, were six or seven shopping bags. Items bought all at once at Charles de Gaulle Airport after working non-stop in Paris. Bags, sweaters, sweatshirts, hats, gloves… all things that were not Yoon Joo-ho’s taste. Yet, the moment they caught his eye, he had bought them without realizing it. He had transferred the shopping bags, which had been loaded into the car that picked him up from the airport, to this car in the mansion’s parking lot beforehand.
He figured he’d be coming home tomorrow for script practice anyway. It felt like just an excuse to meet.