DD 8.2 Fiancé (1)

Basel, Switzerland.

A city hosting Art Basel, one of the world’s top three biennials, and the capital of culture and arts brimming with over 40 museums and countless galleries.

Rau and Lee Hyun had spent a week here, and today was their last day in Basel. Tomorrow, they would take the TGV back to Paris. This would mark the end of their approximately 40-day ‘European Art Museum Tour.’

On the final day of their long journey, the two visited the Kunstmuseum Basel.

Although they had already spent about two days here previously, they had planned to visit once more on their leisurely last day.

On a weekday afternoon, the museum was quiet, almost silent.

While acknowledging the historical and architectural value of the Kunstmuseum Basel, the truth was it didn’t possess a large quantity of famous works that would be particularly popular with the general public. Unless it was during the Art Basel period, it was rare for foreign tourists to specifically seek out this small city just to see Picasso’s early works. Most of the sparse visitors were Basel citizens.

Rau, who had been strolling through the museum as if on a walk, suddenly found his gaze drawn to one spot.

Chagall’s .

A group of children who looked to be elementary school age were sitting huddled together with their supervisor beneath the artwork. The children, seated on the floor, each had their sketchbooks open and were moving their pencils.

It seemed like a class where, after appreciating Chagall’s painting, they freely sketched what came to mind. It was a common sight in European art museums.

Keeping a respectful distance so as not to disturb them, Rau observed.

He hadn’t mentioned it to Lee Hyun, but if it was the Kunstmuseum Basel, it was a place he had visited easily ten times, whether for travel or work. Just as he was thinking about starting to look for Lee Hyun, he came across this interesting group.

Among them, one child in particular caught his eye.

A child with an introverted air, wearing round, thin black-framed glasses, yet not seeming timid. Tightly pressed lips and clear, distinct pupils busily rolling about behind the glasses gave an impression of calmness different from other boys his age.

The child was completely absorbed in his own world, moving his pen almost as if in a trance. The commotion of friends playing around right next to him didn’t seem to reach his ears. Even when an elbow from a playing friend accidentally poked him, he didn’t flinch.

Wasn’t Lee Hyun probably like that in his childhood?

Thinking that while looking at the child made him miss the real Seo Yi-hyun.

Rau checked the time on his wristwatch.

“I won’t be long.”

“You can take your time looking around.”

“I’m just going to skim through the works I want to see once more.”

It had already been two hours since he parted from Lee Hyun, who had said that, at the museum entrance. Checking his phone, there were no messages.

Yet, somehow, Rau felt he could find Lee Hyun without contacting him. He felt he knew where in this vast museum Lee Hyun would be.

He moved his legs, which had been still for a moment.

As he passed by the child with round glasses, he stole a glance; the kid was drawing a comic under Chagall’s painting. Rau shook his shoulders and chuckled softly. Still, his skill was excellent.

If the child resembled Lee Hyun, then he must also have a talent for art.

Not just Lee Hyun, but his mother and father, and even my mother – both families were overflowing with people who painted. So, our child might also have artistic talent. Even if they want to do something completely different, it’s fine.

Exiting the exhibition hall while lost in such imaginings, Rau passed through the corridor searching for Lee Hyun. Then, he even stopped walking completely, stood still, shook his head, and smirked.

Not even married yet, and already thinking about children.

Lately, he seemed to be counting his chickens before they hatched rather frequently.

Traveling for over a month, being together 24/7, he was deeply immersed in a feeling more like cohabitation than dating. That was the problem.

Where, and who, was that Lau Wikun who said he only wanted Seo Yi-hyun and had never even thought about children?

Tsk. Clicking his tongue at himself, Rau composed his expression and started walking again.

Of course, even now, he didn’t concretely want a child or anything like that. It was just imagining his and Lee Hyun’s future following that normal process: falling truly in love, promising each other eternity, getting married, and then a child being born…

Moreover, Lee Hyun hadn’t even fully Manifested as an Omega yet.

The child was just a vague imagination. What Rau wanted was marriage with Lee Hyun. A legal, social union. That was Rau’s true feeling.

Where, and who, was that Lau Wikun who held the position that whether it was a Beta couple or an Alpha-Omega couple, there was no need to marry and cohabitation was sufficient?

After meeting Seo Yi-hyun, numerous Lau Wikuns had disappeared into the past, into a history he wanted to deny.

Literally a dark history. Muttering to himself, Rau reached the entrance of another exhibition hall and slowed his pace.

The very person who had caused this change in him was right there.

A smile rose to Rau’s lips as he spotted Lee Hyun’s back. It was a charming smile enough to make people passing by glance over. Because it was a smile directed at his beloved.

Just as expected.

Lee Hyun was standing before a work by Egon Schiele.

It was one of Schiele’s self-portraits.

Instead of approaching Lee Hyun immediately, Rau leaned his shoulder obliquely against the wall by the exhibition hall entrance. It was clearly a deeply engrossed figure. It seemed better not to disturb him.

Standing there like that, he gazed at Lee Hyun instead of the artwork. Within the frame of Rau’s vision, that scene was itself a work of art. One that evoked a desire to possess it. One he wanted to look at forever.

Lee Hyun was often called ‘the Egon Schiele of our time.’

After a famous Dutch critic first named Lee Hyun as such, there was hardly an article about him that didn’t include that expression.

Regarding this, Lee Hyun showed neither a positive nor negative reaction. He seemed not to pay it much mind, saying expressions like ‘the second XX’ or ‘the XX of the East’ or ‘the XX of the West’ were frequently used phrases in any industry.

But for a serious artist diligently working, being compared to someone couldn’t be a welcome situation.

Nevertheless, Lee Hyun held more interest than antipathy towards Schiele.

During this trip, the two had spent a longer than planned time at the Leopold Museum in Vienna, Austria. Their 4-night, 5-day schedule was even extended by a day. It was because of Schiele’s works.

Here at the Kunstmuseum Basel, a few of Schiele’s works were also on display. They weren’t particularly famous pieces. But for Lee Hyun, that wasn’t an important issue.

Lee Hyun invariably stopped before Schiele’s works. From afar, and from up close. From the overall power of the work down to the detailed brush strokes. He appreciated them seriously. As if intending to absorb it all and make it his own.

Even now, Lee Hyun was facing the artwork motionless.

As if engaged in a duel.

What world was he wandering in now?

A sense of Alienation and loneliness flowed to the soles of Rau’s feet, just like when watching Lee Hyun completely absorbed in his work from behind. Knowing it was unhealthy, twisted, a greed wanting all of Lee Hyun slowly squirmed inside him.

Because of this, he had almost lost Lee Hyun.

And yet, the black greed hadn’t been completely uprooted. The only consolation was that he now knew how to handle it.

No need to be impatient. Lee Hyun would show through his work what world he had encountered. After putting down his brush, he would definitely return to me. Unchangingly, he would look at me, smile, hug me, and tell me he loves me. So, I just need to wait for him here. Maturely. Or even just pretending to be mature is fine.

Rau took out his phone and launched the camera app.

The moment Lee Hyun’s back, facing the painting, entered the screen in the desired composition, he held his breath and pressed the button.

Right after taking the photo, Lee Hyun’s shoulders, which had been standing perfectly still, seemed to shake slightly. Then, he slowly turned around in front of the artwork.

The face that had been immersed in deep focus brightened radiantly the moment he spotted Rau. At that change, Rau felt a chest-tightening relief and happiness.

If I wait, he returns to me.

It was the happiness of confirming that once again.

Lee Hyun’s approaching footsteps gradually quickened. Rau, who had straightened up from his leaning posture, met him by putting an arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulders. Lee Hyun’s body temperature and scent felt affectionate, as if they had been apart for days.

“How long have you been here?”

“Hmm… Since the guy in the blue shirt and the woman in the checkered hat passed by without even looking at the painting, just glancing at Seo Yi-hyun.”

“Ah, yes…”

Lee Hyun’s reply was nonchalant. But even so, he put his arm around Rau’s waist. Finding him so endearing, Rau, with the arm already around his shoulders, swept up the bangs covering his forehead and teased him for no reason.

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“I believe you. In Awi’s imagination, I’m suuuuper popular.”

“I knew it. How could I not believe what my lover says? Huh?”

Rau playfully teased, making as if to nibble Lee Hyun’s cheek or earlobe. Lee Hyun hunched his shoulders, trying to evade the attack. His cheeks, bulging as he tried to hold back laughter, were adorable. Playing such childish games with each other, they passed through the corridor and went down the stairs.

A middle-aged woman started coming up the stairs from the lower floor. Only then did Rau stop the teasing.

“But how did you know I was there? I was just about to call you.”

“I followed the scent of your Pheromone.”

“…Liar.”

Lee Hyun’s footsteps, descending the stairs, came to an abrupt halt. Then he lifted his own arm, buried his nose in it, and sniffed. Rau, looking up from a couple of steps below, reached out and gently pulled Lee Hyun’s wrist down.

“Of course it’s a lie, Lee Hyun-ah.”

Even so, Lee Hyun still looked uneasy. Rau went back up the stairs, faced Lee Hyun, and cupped both his cheeks.

“Sorry. I was joking.”

“It’s not true, right? The Pheromone… it’s not leaking, is it?”

“There’s no way Pheromone would come out when I’m not around.”

Although he was taking suppressants just in case, Omega Pheromone wasn’t being produced from Lee Hyun yet. The Pheromone from Lee Hyun now was only the Diamond Dust Pheromone that only Rau could detect. He also wasn’t being stimulated by another Alpha’s Pheromone.

Either being stimulated by the Pheromone Rau released first, or Lee Hyun feeling sexual desire for Rau and unconsciously releasing his Pheromone first.

Those were the only two situations where Pheromone was emitted from Lee Hyun.

“Wouldn’t it be a real problem if you reacted to some other guy?”

“……”

“Or, are you attracted to some guy other than me? Is that it? Which guy is it?”

At Rau’s exaggerated and clumsy acting, Lee Hyun finally burst out laughing. Meeting the eyes of Lee Hyun laughing in his hands, Rau also smiled softly. He gave a peck on the pretty lips and put his arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulders again.

They happened to make eye contact with the middle-aged woman who had come up to about five or six steps below them. She looked at the two with a pleased, seemingly fond smile.

Rau gave her a slight nod and a reciprocal smile, and Lee Hyun also briefly bowed his head, slightly covering his face, red to the ears, with the back of his hand.

“You’ll stop by the gift shop, right?”

At Rau’s question, Lee Hyun nodded his deeply bowed head. Rau pulled Lee Hyun’s shoulder like that and pressed his lips firmly against his temple.

“The lady is already far away. You can lift your head.”

“……”

He did lift his head, but Lee Hyun’s gaze at Rau was mixed with reproach. But of course, Rau pretended not to notice.

“I think last time we came, we bought quite a few different kinds here. I hope there’s something Lee Hyun likes.”

The start of the ‘European Art Museum Tour’ was London. The two, having moved from Paris to London, spent a week there before flying to Amsterdam. Passing through Berlin and Munich to Prague, then to Vienna, Austria, and finally here, Basel, Switzerland, was the last destination.

Whenever they found a gift shop in the museums and galleries of each city, Lee Hyun carefully looked over the products. When there wasn’t anything particularly appealing, he sometimes came out empty-handed. But he always bought at least one postcard.

And he wrote a short message on the back and mailed it from the local post office.

It was a postcard sent to his father in Donghae, Korea.

At the Kunstmuseum Basel, Lee Hyun chose a postcard printed with a work by Chagall. It was . The child resembling Lee Hyun had been sitting in front of it… Peeking at the postcard from behind Lee Hyun, Rau laughed silently at the light coincidence.

“Your father likes Chagall, right?”

“That’s right.”

Lee Hyun’s face as he answered looked somewhat lonely. Rau didn’t try to console him with words. He just gently stroked Lee Hyun’s arm and affectionately kissed the exposed nape of his neck.

Around the time Lee Hyun was sixteen. Lee Hyun’s family had planned a ‘European Art Museum Tour.’

But due to an unforeseen accident, Lee Hyun’s mother passed away, and their plan, once like a balloon filled with swollen hopes, burst and fell wretchedly into the mud.

Moreover, although it was his mother who passed away in the accident, for Lee Hyun, it was almost no different from losing both his mother and father, each in a different sense, from that point on.

The places the three had planned to visit together. No matter which one they visited, thoughts of his mother and father, of the three’s happiness and sorrow, would surely arise.

That’s why, when he heard Lee Hyun say he wanted to go on this trip together, Rau was speechless for a while. It held a meaning too great to put into words.

The fact that Lee Hyun had overcome his past and grown enough to decide to carry out this trip, planned with his family during a happy time, was moving in itself.

And the fact that he himself had been chosen as the companion for that trip evoked complex emotions.

It was an overwhelming feeling, as if he had been accepted as new family by Lee Hyun.

Whenever choosing a postcard, Lee Hyun was careful. Sometimes at the museum cafeteria, on a park bench, sometimes at the post office, even when writing the message on the postcard, he was careful. Sometimes the message was only a line or two, written quickly, but other times he pondered for a long time.

Occasionally, after mailing the postcard, Lee Hyun would be quiet for a long time. But even during those times, he didn’t treat Rau as if he weren’t there. Rather, he leaned on Rau’s shoulder, held his hand, sometimes even lifted Rau’s arm himself to burrow underneath it.

Holding and kissing Lee Hyun, who was acting clingy unlike his usual self, Rau was grateful he could be by his side in such moments.

Having only purchased one postcard, the two decided to cross the courtyard towards the gallery’s main entrance. The central courtyard was filled with the warm autumn sunlight and a pleasant breeze. It was truly perfect weather for traveling.

“What should we do for dinner? There’s a bit of gnocchi dough left frozen.”

“Hmm…”

“We had it with cream sauce the other day, so shall we try tomato sauce today?”

“Eh, but it’s the last day of our long journey.”

“Does Kun have something he wants to do?”

“I was thinking we could both dress up nicely and go to a fancy restaurant with a good atmosphere.”

“That sounds good too.”

Rodin’s occupied the center of the courtyard. A couple struggling to take a selfie in front of it came into their view. It seemed there was a limit to getting the artwork in the background with just a selfie.

As they approached them, Rau naturally spoke first.

“Shall I take a picture for you?”

“Ah, would you? Thank you. When we try to take it ourselves, less than half the artwork shows up.”

The woman handed her phone to Rau with a relieved expression.

Judging by their attire suitable for lots of walking and their excited atmosphere, those two definitely seemed to be travelers. To be traveling to Basel, and not even during Art Basel… They must really like art.

“Wow, these came out so well. I love them!”

The woman, checking the four or five photos Rau had taken, couldn’t take her eyes off the screen.

“The composition is great, isn’t it? I never even thought of taking it like this. I always get scolded by my wife for being bad at photos. Nice to meet you, I’m Felix.”

A strong German accent was detectable in the English of the man who introduced himself as Felix. Rau responded to Felix’s handshake and introduced Lee Hyun as well.

“I’m glad you like it. I’m Lau. This is my boyfriend.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Lee Hyun.”

“Lee H….”

After shaking hands with Felix and introducing himself to his wife, Lee Hyun had to face her confused expression as he tried to shake her hand.

“My name is a bit difficult to pronounce, isn’t it?”

“No, that’s not it…. By any chance… are you… are you Seo Yi-hyun, the writer….”

“Yes, that’s me.”

Lau answered instead, firmly wrapping his arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulders.

“No way…. How can this be… here… is this really possible….”

She couldn’t finish her sentence. After touching her forehead and repeating ‘Oh my god’ for a while, she shook her head and regained her composure.

“Ah, I’m Lina. I’m sorry. We’re really big fans of Lee Hyun’s work.”

“Lina is especially enthusiastic.”

Her husband, Felix, added with a laugh. Lina still stared at Lee Hyun with a dazed expression, as if she had been hit.

“Actually, Lau had been glancing at Lee Hyun ever since he took our picture. I thought he looked familiar… How can such a coincidence happen?”

“Lina, calm down a bit. You had so much to say. Are you going to regret it later if you just ramble like this?”

“Yeah, he’s right.”

While Lina calmed her emotions with deep breaths, Felix said,

“Lee Hyun doesn’t expose his face much compared to his work. I was also hesitant. I hope it’s not rude to ask….”

“Not at all. Hyun-i is shy, but he likes meeting and talking to fans. Right?”

Lau, still with his arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulders, looked affectionately at his face and asked.

“That’s true, but… the word ‘fan’ is a bit….”

This had happened three or four times during the trip. They had met people who recognized Lee Hyun about once every ten days. Since they were traveling mainly to art museums and galleries, the chances of meeting such people were high.

Each time, Lau was proud, and Lee Hyun was happy that people liked his paintings, but he felt awkward about the word ‘fan.’ He wasn’t an actor or a singer, and he wasn’t a famous painter, so he felt too embarrassed every time he heard the word ‘fan.’ He had confessed this to Lau one evening during dinner.

“Why? We really are fans!”

Lina almost shouted. Felix nodded in agreement.

“Many of our acquaintances want to own Lee Hyun’s paintings.”

“But they fail every time because the competition is fierce.”

That’s how an impromptu fan meeting was held in front of .

From the ‘Colorful Ghosts’ series to the ‘Journey of Clouds’ series and the ‘Colorful Monster’ series. More than just words, they were truly ardent fans of Lee Hyun.

Lina’s face and voice, which had been talking about her impressions of Lee Hyun’s work with a flushed face and tone like a fan meeting an idol star, suddenly became calm at some point.

“Lee Hyun, don’t pay attention to the comparisons to Schiele.”

She wanted to say this no matter what, and that sincerity was conveyed.

“Of course, Schiele is also a very, very great painter, and I love his work too… but Schiele’s work is basically based on anguish, persistent sadness, and resignation and depression that cannot overcome it. Is it Schiele just because the brushstrokes are bold and deviate from the mainstream style?”

“She always gets heated whenever she sees people comparing Lee Hyun to Schiele. She says the art critics must have something wrong with their eyes.”

Felix added.

Lina continued to look at Lee Hyun with a forceful gaze.

“Lee Hyun’s work may seem grotesque at first glance, but that’s definitely not all there is to it. It contains a warm perspective on people and a hopeful expectation that doesn’t give up on the future. Schiele and Lee Hyun are painters with completely different colors.”

Lau was grateful to her. He wanted to treat her to a meal.

Of course, Lau himself could have said that to Lee Hyun. But sometimes, one word from someone you don’t know can resonate more than ten words from someone too close. Everyone has had such moments.

“I feel encouraged by you saying that. Thank you. I’ll definitely think of it whenever I feel lost.”

Lina seemed touched by Lee Hyun’s response.

“I’m honored that Lee Hyun will think of me.”

“He didn’t say he’d think of you. He said he’d think of what you said.”

Lina playfully poked Felix in the side as he spoke in a sulky voice.

“Are you jealous? Are you jealous?”

“Yeah, I’m getting a little jealous. You like him too much in front of me, no matter what.”

“Oh, my… he’s still so cute.”

Lina’s touch, lightly tapping Felix’s cheek, was full of affection. They were a couple with passionate and pleasant energy.

They asked a passing visitor to take a commemorative photo of the four of them together in front of .

Lina, who even got Lee Hyun’s autograph on the inside cover of her novel, had a happy expression like a girl. In front of that pure smile, even Felix didn’t grumble this time.

“I’ll keep meeting you two a secret.”

Lina said with an excited expression, hugging the autographed book to her chest.

“A secret?”

“That Seo Yi-hyun usually dresses plainly and looks like a popular model these days, or that he has a wonderful boyfriend like a movie star. I’ll never, ever tell my acquaintances about that.”

“No. Please spread the word far and wide.”

“Are you sure it’s okay?”

“Of course. Especially the second part. Please spread the word about the boyfriend part very intensively.”

They took Lau’s words completely as a joke and laughed happily. Lau was somewhat disappointed that his sincerity didn’t seem to be conveyed.

“This will be the best memory of this trip. Thank you both.”

With Lina’s greeting, the four of them waved goodbye to each other. Lina and Felix headed towards the museum for their visit, and Lau and Lee Hyun headed towards the main gate.

“Lina seems to have a good eye in many ways.”

Lau said, stroking his lower jaw, and then looked over Lee Hyun, who was walking side by side with him, with a serious expression.

“A popular model who usually dresses plainly…. That seems like an accurate expression.”

“Don’t tease me.”

As expected, his lover’s reaction wasn’t enthusiastic.

“Tease you? I’m saying it because I’m proud.”

Lau protested indignantly and then shrugged, changing his tone.

“It’s about 90 percent pride and 10 percent regret that you remain my own Seo Yi-hyun.”

“Is it really only 10 percent regret?”

“Um… actually, is it 50 to 50?”

Lee Hyun laughed as if he couldn’t help it.

When Lee Hyun laughed, Lau couldn’t help but laugh along.

As they exited the main gate, the streets were overflowing with the golden autumn sunlight.

“Shall we stop by Migros on the way home to get groceries?”

“Weren’t you hoping to celebrate our last day at a fancy restaurant?”

Conscious of Lee Hyun’s questioning gaze, Lau took out the sunglasses he had tucked into the pocket of his left chest and put them on.

“Because I don’t think Seo Yi-hyun would allow a deep kiss at a fancy restaurant.”

“Not during meals, not even at home…?”

“Well, if I behave nicely, you never know.”

Lau stopped Lee Hyun, whose face was quickly turning red again. He took out Lee Hyun’s sunglasses, which were hanging around his neckline, and put them on him himself. Then he found Lee Hyun’s hand and started walking through the autumn streets of Basel.

The green tram that the two of them had to take was waiting just beyond the intersection. Fortunately, the pedestrian signal turned on at the crosswalk. Lau took Lee Hyun’s hand and crossed the road diagonally with large strides.

Fortunately, they were able to catch the tram almost perfectly.

The tram ride took less than ten minutes. The interior was empty, but the two of them leaned against the pillars by the window instead of sitting in the seats. They felt like teenagers.

Inside the swaying tram, they faced each other with a distance of about one step. It was a very thrilling thing.

Throughout the trip, they had slept in the same bed every night, and they were so hot and intimate that not a single day went by without touching each other. And yet, because this was an external place, they had to just look at each other in a state of forced abstinence. Just one step away.

They could see in each other’s eyes that the other was also conscious of this tension and felt a heightened sense of sensitivity.

Lau, keeping his gaze fixed on Lee Hyun, took out his cell phone.

He activated the camera, aiming it at the subject in front of him.

There were quite a few photos and videos of Lee Hyun taken on this trip. Thanks to being exposed to filming throughout the trip, Lee Hyun now looked quite comfortable in front of Lau’s lens.

The Swiss autumn afternoon flickered through the tram’s large window. The golden sunlight mixed with orange gained a sparkle as it passed through the car window. That light transparently illuminated Lee Hyun’s skin. In the liquid crystal display, Lee Hyun pursed his lips and smiled shyly, but did not avoid the lens.

The tension doubles at this moment when they are conscious of each other through the lens.

Lau recalled his memories of visiting Hong Kong with Lee Hyun.

At a noisy bar in Soho, Lau had captured Lee Hyun’s image on camera. And Lee Hyun, who was slightly tipsy, asked to see what he had taken.

Lau stretched his arm far in the opposite direction to avoid Lee Hyun’s hand fiddling with the camera, and unlike usual, Lee Hyun did not back down easily. Lee Hyun’s body, waving his hand to get the camera, leaned almost into my arms.

The sweet scent of sweat mixed with his nape.

What could I compare that moment of fantasy to?

“Um… I don’t think I can show you.”

“Why?”

“Seo Yi-hyun, you’re a fortune teller. You’ll read everything if you see my picture.”

“…What?”

“…….”

How I’m looking at you.

The photographer’s feelings for the subject permeate the photo. The better a person is at handling photos, the stronger the degree. It’s the same as how a person who is good at drawing expresses it better.

At that time, Lau could not yet show his photo to the unknown subject of Seo Yi-hyun. Because he would be caught in what kind of gaze he was looking at him.

Lee Hyun in the photo at the time was attractive. He was like a mysterious stranger who stimulated curiosity and hid a secret story. It’s only natural. Because Lau, who took that photo, was looking at Seo Yi-hyun as an attractive and mysterious person.

The unknown subject who claimed to be a Beta but emitted Pheromone and sensed and reacted to Lau’s Pheromone.

My one and only Diamond Dust.

He was now standing in front of him as his lover.

Lau pressed the shutter to trap Lee Hyun in the liquid crystal display at this moment.

Then he reached out and tapped Lee Hyun’s cheek with the back of his hand. Even this small act of skinship, which was nothing, turned tension into trembling. Lee Hyun’s eyelashes fluttered, and his lips smacked as he swallowed hard. Lau carefully watched each and every one of those subtle reactions.

The tram turned sharply to the right, skirting Christoph-Merina Park. Lee Hyun’s hand, holding the thin green pillar to maintain his balance, tightened.

“But why Migros today instead of Coop? Coop is closer.”

“The post office is on the Migros side.”

“…….”

“I have to send a postcard to Korea.”

Lee Hyun’s eyes subtly changed color. He was touched.

Lau lowered his upper body and brought his lips close to Lee Hyun’s ear.

“Would you allow a deep kiss? You were just thinking that, weren’t you?”

“…N, no, I wasn’t?”

The afternoon sun was ripening more softly. The scenery in front of him was warm, as if it had been faded by the light, as if he was already reminiscing about the past. Suddenly, he felt it was too precious to let this moment pass.

Erasing the distance of one step, Lau moved closer to Lee Hyun and hugged his shoulders. He stroked his warm, sun-kissed hair.

Lee Hyun lifted his chin and looked up at Lau’s face. Then he pecked Lau’s lips. As if reading Lau’s unspoken feelings and comforting him. Lau’s kissed lips tickled with happiness.

What if this moment is pushed into the past?

This unknown subject will make every moment that comes shine with mystery and joy.

It was being filled with the best day. Just like yesterday.

■ ■ ■

“Kun, how about a shared accommodation? We can cook our own meals and it’ll be fun, don’t you think?”

Lee Hyun had said that when they were just starting to prepare for the trip.

They were separated in Paris and Seoul, and as always, they were on a video call dating.

Lau, who had a list full of hotels he wanted to stay at with Lee Hyun in each city, initially showed a lukewarm reaction. On the other hand, Lee Hyun actively shared the web pages of the accommodations he had found himself.

“Can you take a look at this link? It’s an accommodation in London. There’s a separate bedroom, the kitchen is quite well equipped, and there’s even a small bathtub. The interior is cute, right?”

“Um, it’s cute, but… I think it’ll be uncomfortable because it’s a small home. Zone 3 is a bit far from the area where the museums and galleries are gathered.”

“I guess Kun would be a bit… uncomfortable if it’s not a hotel?”

“I’m fine. I like being with you wherever I am. But it’s because there are so many places I want to show you. It’s not just to be extravagant, but there are many hotels that are historically, aesthetically, and architecturally valuable. We can’t take such a long trip often, so it’s a good opportunity.”

After hearing Awi’s words, Lee Hyun seemed to be lost in thought for a moment on the screen. Then he opened his mouth in his unique, careful, and calm tone.

“I know very well that Awi has a lot he wants to show me and a lot he wants me to experience. I’m not going to just convert all those feelings into money and reject them all because they’re extravagant for me.”

“Um… I feel like there’s going to be a ‘but’ coming up after this.”

Lee Hyun chuckled at Awi’s words and continued.

“But, I’d like Awi to match my economic level for this trip. Just this once. Huh?”

“Ah… begging so cutely with ‘huh?’ is too unfair.”

Lau was already more than half defeated by Lee Hyun’s rare display of aegyo. He tilted his head back and pretended to be frustrated, covering his face with both hands.

“Think of this trip as Seo Yi-hyun inviting Lau Wikun.”

“Seo Yi-hyun inviting Lau Wikun on a trip. If you say that, I can’t say anything more. Who has such a smart lover?”

Lau’s resistance ended without even being able to exert proper force, and the two agreed to use shared accommodations throughout the trip.

But the trip using shared accommodations had new pleasures waiting that Lau had not expected.

Pleasures that he would not have felt if he had stayed in a historic luxury hotel and had all his needs met by the services provided by the hotel.

It was the pleasure of experiencing living together in advance.

■ ■ ■

While Lee Hyun was writing a postcard at the standing table in the center of the post office, Lau looked around the interior.

It was more modern, bright, and clean than he had expected. They also sold various types of postal-related products such as postcards, stationery, and envelopes. Because of this, it looked more like a stationery store than a post office at first glance.

Lau’s gaze, which had been looking around at the promotional materials on display, turned back to Lee Hyun. Lee Hyun, standing diagonally across the table, lowered his eyelids and quietly moved his pen. Today, there was no hesitation at the end of his pen.

Lau, who was watching the scene with his chin resting on his hand, took out his cell phone.

Silently, he trapped his image in the liquid crystal display for another moment.

Almost at the same time, Lee Hyun put down his pen and looked up to find Lau.

“I’m going to send it.”

Lau smiled briefly and nodded.

Lee Hyun’s expression as he came back from sending the postcard at the window looked somehow relieved, unlike before.

Lau, who had been leaning against the central table, held out his hand to him. Lee Hyun approached with quick steps and took his hand.

After holding hands, there was enough sunlight and wind on the street.

“What are we eating today?”

“Um… what would be good? First, I’ll make gnocchi with the remaining dough.”

“But the amount of dough is ambiguous.”

“Right?”

“It’s a little too little for two people to eat a meal, and a little too much for one person to eat.”

“Then shall we grill a steak and share it together?”

“Sounds good!”

“How cute.”

Lee Hyun looked down at Rau’s unwrinkled smiling face, caressed his cheek with one hand, and kissed him.

As the trip continued, Lee Hyun became quite accustomed to these short kisses in public. Sometimes, he would even initiate them, like he did on the tram a little while ago. Though it was rare.

Holding hands like children, they swung their arms back and forth as they headed to the supermarket.

Their Basel accommodation was located right behind the SBB station. It was a quiet residential area, slightly away from the city center.

It was convenient that a ‘Coop’ store, a popular Swiss supermarket chain, was a 2-minute walk from their accommodation, and another chain, ‘Migros,’ was a 5-minute walk away. For the past week, they had stopped by one of the two almost every day on their way home.

On days when they didn’t eat out, they would buy ready-made pizzas or salads, or purchase bacon, bread, eggs, tomatoes, and the like for Rau to make an English breakfast. They also sold a few types of Korean ramen, so they had cooked ramen a few days ago.

Lee Hyun was still fascinated by Rau eating ramen or hamburgers.

「It’s like watching a prince trying these things for the first time.」

That was the reason.

「As you know, it’s not my first time?」

When Rau retorted sullenly, Lee Hyun would laugh innocently as if it was funny, and Rau couldn’t help but laugh along. It was like he was a robot programmed to laugh whenever Lee Hyun laughed. Even he found it absurd sometimes, but what could he do? He liked it.

It was a bit early to shop for dinner, so the supermarket was quiet.

They went to the fruit and vegetable section and first put the salad ingredients to accompany the main dishes into the cart. The cart quickly became colorful.

“Hmm… where were the sauce and pasta sections again?”

“Over there. One, two, three… the fourth aisle.”

Lee Hyun pointed to the long row of shelves. With his arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulders, Rau skillfully changed the direction of the cart with just one hand.

“You seem like a local. So reliable.”

“I’ve been here a few times.”

“Just as you’re getting attached, you’re leaving. Right?”

“……”

Lee Hyun closed his lips tightly for a moment, then said resolutely.

“It’s a trip. That’s what trips are all about, I guess.”

His expression was like a child pretending to understand the ways of the world, and Rau burst out laughing. He wrapped his arm around Lee Hyun’s neck, pulled him close, and kissed him on the cheek. Lee Hyun, who had become timid again, covered his reddened face with the back of his hand and looked around.

“Embarrassed again?”

“We’re outside.”

His softly muttered lips were so lovely that Rau wanted to swallow them whole. But he held back.

“Where did the bold man who kissed me first on the tram go?”

“I just thought… Awi looked lonely…. Oh? That’s what Yooni Noona asked me to buy. I almost forgot.”

With that, Lee Hyun went ahead to the shelf where the snacks were. Yooni must have asked him to buy some snacks that were only available in Switzerland. There was no way Lee Hyun had forgotten. He meticulously took care of gifts for his ‘The Hands’ colleagues as well as the ‘Phantom’ family in Seoul every time he visited a new city. He was just making excuses because he was shy….

Rau chuckled to himself at the sight of Lee Hyun awkwardly waving his long limbs as he walked ahead. And that laughter soon turned into a warm, faint smile.

So that’s how it was. On the tram, he had read Rau’s momentary emotions. And he had kissed him first to comfort him. A person whose neck and ears turned bright red even with a short kiss in the corner of a supermarket where no one was watching. For Rau. It couldn’t not be love.

Rau wiped his mouth widely and slowly pushed the cart in the direction Lee Hyun had disappeared.

Lee Hyun was carefully examining the snacks Yooni had asked for. Behind him, Rau also found something.

“Lee Hyun-ah, they have this here too. Should we buy it?”

What Rau was holding up was a mouse-shaped jelly made by a famous company. Lee Hyun had stopped him from buying it in Berlin when he had shown interest and tried to grab it. This time too, Lee Hyun frowned slightly and shook his head.

“Don’t you remember the licorice-flavored jelly we bought last time?”

“Hmm?”

“The jelly that looked like a tire.”

“Ah….”

“You bought it because it looked interesting, but in the end, you said it tasted weird and looked weird, so you only ate one bite and didn’t eat it anymore. Give up.”

“But look at this realistic shape. My adventurous spirit is burning.”

Rau shook the bag of pink and white mouse jellies.

“Awi has a narrow range of acceptable tastes and is surprisingly squeamish, despite his strong sense of adventure.”

Rau burst out laughing at Lee Hyun’s plausible interpretation.

“Am I?”

“You try all sorts of things out of curiosity, but you end up disliking most of the foods you try. I think it’s been like that throughout this trip.”

“Oh… now that you mention it, it does seem like that.”

“I told you.”

Rau obediently put the bag back in its place. Then, he leaned against the cart, looking at Lee Hyun with a grin. Lee Hyun, who was putting the selected snacks into the cart, glanced at Rau with an expression that sensed something ominous.

“What’s wrong?”

“I was just thinking that Seo Yi-hyun has been observing me so closely.”

“Well… of course.”

To admit it so readily. This was another unexpected reaction. Rau’s curiosity and playfulness were triggered at the same time. Pushing the cart towards the sauce and pasta section, Rau moved closer to Lee Hyun.

“Why? Why of course?”

Lee Hyun’s gaze towards Rau showed a hint of resentment. It was an expression that said, ‘You know I’m not good at saying things like that, so why do you have to make me say it?’

Lee Hyun stared at Rau’s face, which clearly expected answers like ‘Because you’re my boyfriend’ or ‘Because I love you,’ and then quickly turned his head away.

“It’s because if I don’t stop you, Awi will quickly fill the cart with weird stuff.”

“Ah, I see. Okay, I’ll believe you.”

Even without hearing the words he wanted to hear, Rau was simply enjoying this moment. Shopping together was a special date that could only be done when returning to the same home. It was different from dates at restaurants, cafes, movie theaters, art galleries, or parks.

Rau’s apartment 601 in Paris was also being used as their hideout, and they would shop together for the necessary items and ingredients. But the longest Rau stayed in Paris was only about five days. This was the first time they were living together, returning to the same home for such a long time.

Of course, there was a time when Lee Hyun lived in Rau’s Seoul residence. But even though they lived in the same house back then, they had separate bedrooms. There was no time to build small, everyday moments by shopping or cooking together. Rau back then was consumed by a morbid obsession, chased by anxiety.

All those times were swept away into the past. Rau’s sins were revealed, and they both endured the time to repent and forgive.

When Rau recalled the days when he parked his car a little distance away from ‘The Hands’ and secretly watched Lee Hyun, it felt like a memory from a past life. It wasn’t that the memory had faded. The time when he lost Lee Hyun and wandered like a ghost could never fade.

Just thinking about that time made Rau feel a slight chill.

He felt a dizzying and chilling sensation, as if falling from a high place, and he ran his palm over the back of his neck. He shook his head to shake off the sensation and quickly followed after Lee Hyun.

The pasta and sauce sections faced each other in the same aisle. They still had gnocchi dough left, so they didn’t need to buy pasta today, but it was a convenient system anyway.

Holding a jar of tomato sauce and a jar of cream sauce in each hand, Rau asked Lee Hyun.

“What are you more in the mood for today?”

Lee Hyun, who was standing a few steps away, looking over the shelves, looked over at him.

“Or basil pesto?”

“Hmm… what about Awi?”

“I asked you first, didn’t I?”

Lee Hyun chuckled at Rau’s childish response and answered.

“Then let’s go with basil pesto today.”

Rau smiled contentedly and put the jars of sauce back on the shelf. Then, he began to consider which brand of basil pesto to choose from the three or four types available.

“Should we make mackerel pasta instead of gnocchi? I saved a recipe I saw on YouTube.”

“Mackerel pasta? Rau said he didn’t like it last time.”

“Have we ever put mackerel in pasta?”

With a jar of sauce in his hand, Awi furrowed his brow. He looked like he didn’t remember at all.

“The day we invited Yooni Noona and Michelle.”

“Ah….”

Only then did Rau nod and narrow his eyes. The taste he didn’t like came to mind.

Rau, who had obediently given up on the mackerel pasta, showed Lee Hyun one of the three types of basil pesto he had compared.

“Should we go with this?”

“Sure.”

“Then all we have to do is buy the steak meat.”

Pushing the cart with only his left hand, Rau wrapped his arm around Lee Hyun’s neck again. And he rubbed the tip of his nose affectionately against Lee Hyun’s temple, whispering in a low voice.

“About the day we made mackerel pasta.”

“……”

Trying to appear nonchalant, Lee Hyun tried not to show any change in his expression. But his ears, which quickly turned reddish and hot, couldn’t lie.

“Seo Yi-hyun was especially more active that night, wasn’t he?”

“I don’t know.”

“Was it because of the mackerel? Then should we add mackerel today too?”

“If you keep joking like that, I’m going to go wait at the checkout first.”

Oops, had he gone too far with the joke?

Lee Hyun’s sullen voice implied that Rau’s joke had reached an unbearable level. Rau urgently grabbed Lee Hyun’s arm as he turned to leave. He wrapped his arm around his shoulder from behind, across his collarbone, and kissed his temple, pleading.

“I’m sorry. Don’t leave me.”

Even while shopping for dinner at the supermarket, their own little drama unfolded several times. Rau knew that anyone who saw it would scoff and call it childish, but he was simply enjoying this moment.

“Don’t say things like ‘leave me’.”

Lee Hyun muttered, gently grasping Rau’s wrist that was wrapped around his shoulder. Even though his voice still sounded upset, he was bothered by Rau’s expression ‘leave me’. He was worried that Rau felt that way about their past separation.

Rau’s heart ached at Lee Hyun’s concern. He rubbed the tip of his nose against his temple and whispered.

“Okay, I won’t. My angel.”

■ ■ ■

Whether it was Coop or Migros, most of the checkout counters were self-service. The trend was for supermarket checkout counters to switch to self-service everywhere in Europe, including Paris.

Rau and Lee Hyun pushed their cart towards the self-checkout counters.

It was a quiet time, so most of the machines were empty. Because there weren’t many people, an elderly woman struggling with her credit card in front of the touch screen was even more noticeable.

Rau noticed Lee Hyun’s gaze that kept glancing at her and laughed silently.

“Should we help her first and then do ours?”

Lee Hyun nodded and cautiously approached her, speaking to her.

“Hello. Would you like some help?”

“Oh? Would you? I’m so grateful… I’m not used to this place, so I’m a bit confused.”

Fortunately, she readily accepted their kindness. Lee Hyun noticed a French accent in her English and naturally responded in French.

“I get lost too when I’m not used to a place.”

“You speak French?”

“Not very well.”

Meanwhile, Rau also approached and made eye contact with the elderly woman. As Lee Hyun scanned the barcodes, Rau put the items into her shopping bag. The elderly woman, who was watching the two work together so well, looked closely at their hands.

“The rings are very pretty. Are you a couple traveling?”

“…Yes.”

Lee Hyun answered with a bit of hesitation out of shyness. Rau glanced at Lee Hyun and chuckled without being noticed. This time, the elderly woman gestured towards Rau and asked Lee Hyun in a small voice.

“Husband? Boyfriend?”

“Ah… well….”

Lee Hyun hesitated and couldn’t answer right away. His face turned red all the way up to his forehead in an instant. He seemed more flustered than usual, to an unusual degree. Instead of Lee Hyun, who was in trouble, Rau quickly stepped forward and answered cheerfully.

“Boyfriend.”

“You’re both very handsome. You look so good together.”

“Thank you. But I’m a little less so than my boyfriend.”

She laughed heartily at Rau’s sociability. Lee Hyun was silently scanning the barcodes of the items with a reddened face. He was so red that it seemed like he was about to burst into tears.

After handing over the shopping bag with all the items transferred, she thanked them repeatedly.

“Thank you. It would have taken me several times longer if I had done it alone.”

“It’s nothing. It’s no big deal.”

“There used to be staff to help, but I don’t see them today.”

Looking around with a dissatisfied expression, she suddenly seemed to remember something and pulled Rau’s arm. It wasn’t to tell him to follow her, but a gesture to ask him to listen closely. Rau bent down awkwardly.

“Try to become a husband. Don’t miss out on such a good young man.”

Rau smiled awkwardly and glanced at Lee Hyun’s expression. His face, which was now scanning their own items at the checkout, was red again. It seemed he had heard her words.

“Yes, I’m working hard to be liked.”

“There are many Betas who discriminate even if Alphas and Omegas look like the same gender on the outside. But don’t worry about it. My wife and I have been living well for 40 years. We raised 2 sons and 1 daughter so well together.”

Rau had guessed from the beginning that she was an Alpha. Even if her Pheromone had weakened with age, he could still sense it to that extent. It seemed she had been married to a female Omega. And she regarded Rau and Lee Hyun as an Alpha and Omega couple.

Nowadays, the union of female Alphas and female Omegas, and male Alphas and male Omegas, is recognized in many countries, but 40 years ago, when they got married, prejudice was still rampant.

Betas, who make up the absolute proportion of the world’s population, have long been the standard of normalcy. Couples who were not a combination of male Alpha and female Omega were considered abnormal. It was especially harsh for female Alphas or male Omegas. Women who could impregnate or men who could get pregnant were considered grotesque mutants by Beta standards.

“We raised our children while not being recognized as a couple, and only became a legal couple 30 years ago.”

The look in her eyes as she said that was filled with emotion, as if that day was today.

“It was the best day of my life.”

“It must have been. I can fully imagine how happy you must have been.”

Rau nodded with a warm smile, empathizing with her.

The moment you are formally recognized as a couple with the person you love. How could it not be the best day of your life? If you had spent more than a decade not being recognized and living every day like a struggle, the emotion would be even more indescribable.

Rau and Lee Hyun’s eyes met.

They didn’t say anything, but they could feel that they were thinking the same thing.

Feeling sorry for keeping them, she bought them a bouquet of purple chrysanthemums from the flower shop near the entrance. The two of them didn’t refuse and gratefully accepted her kindness.

As they left the supermarket after parting with her, the entrance was starting to get quite crowded with people who were out to shop for dinner.

“The timing is perfect. I’m starting to get hungry. Lee Hyun is hungry too, right?”

“A little. But I’ll help you carry some too.”

“Just hold the bouquet carefully. So it doesn’t get damaged. What’s the point of sharing such a small amount?”

Rau lifted the shopping bag to eye level to prove that it was nothing.

“Don’t pretend to be strong. The sauce jars are glass, and you have two bottles of wine too.”

“I’m not pretending to be strong, I really am strong? You have to use a sturdy boyfriend at times like these.”

“Awi carries it every time under the pretext of having only one bag.”

“When there are two bags, Lee Hyun and I share them.”

“I carry the lighter one.”

“Are you complaining?”

“I’m not complaining, but….”

“It’s simple. I’m bigger, so I carry the bigger one. If Lee Hyun gets bigger than me, then I’ll ask Lee Hyun to carry the big one.”

Lee Hyun burst out laughing, as if he was dumbfounded. Rau held out his empty right palm.

“Instead, hold my hand.”

“Okay. I’ll do something like that for you.”

Lee Hyun grabbed Hyun-i’s large, wide palm, and Rau shook their clasped hands back and forth.

“Something like that? I enjoy grocery shopping with you.”

“Tell me if it gets heavy. There’s another shopping bag in the bag.”

“Okay.”

They exchanged such trivial words while walking together on the quiet street. And they returned to the same destination. Rau recalled what the old woman had said. No, rather than recalling it, the words wouldn’t leave his head.

「Try to make him your husband. Don’t miss out on such a good young man.」

Marriage with Lee Hyun.

There wasn’t a day he didn’t think about it. During this trip, he thought about it almost obsessively.

Even the best couples fight when they go on long trips or live together, they say. But the two of them hadn’t even had a slight emotional upset during the 40 days. Except for minor love quarrels like light jealousy.

Of course, he didn’t have the illusion that they would never argue while spending their lives together. But he had a strong conviction that he could overcome moments of crisis wisely with Lee Hyun. And if they ever fought over a problem, it would definitely be his fault.

He wanted to officially become Seo Yi-hyun’s man right away.

The ring they were wearing together, the ring Lee Hyun had chosen himself and put on his finger, was deeply meaningful to Rau. Separately, couple rings were something even middle school couples who had just started dating could have. He wanted to be intertwined with Lee Hyun in a more complex, more intense, and more thorough way, socially, legally, and administratively.

But he had promised him.

You don’t need to feel any constraints about this ring.

「Go wherever you want to go, do what you want to do, and have the experiences you want. And someday, when the thought of wanting to wear this ring naturally arises within you… then, let’s get married.」

Lee Hyun was only twenty-five years old.

Even if they got married, he intended to fully support his work, but he couldn’t ignore the psychological responsibility that the institution of marriage brought.

He would wait. He had to wait.

He couldn’t let his desire for him consume him and ruin everything again.

“The flower smell is so nice. Right?”

Lee Hyun, who had buried his nose in the chrysanthemums, held the bouquet up to Rau’s chin. Rau tilted his head, inhaled the scent, and narrowed his eyes.

“Not as good as Seo Yi-hyun’s Pheromone?”

“……”

Startled, Lee Hyun quickly pulled the bouquet away as if hiding it. As if the scent of Lee Hyun’s Pheromone was coming from the bouquet.

Jokes of this kind using Pheromone as a subject could only be made between lovers. Exposing Pheromone to each other was as intimate a sexual act as exposing one’s naked body, no, one’s genitals, to each other.

“You used to be indifferent to Pheromone talk.”

“That’s because… I didn’t know much back then.”

“What?”

“……?”

“That even if Seo Yi-hyun says he doesn’t like it with his mouth, his Pheromone shows everything honestly?”

Lee Hyun was increasingly taking on Omega-like qualities. It was similar to the process of learning a new culture in a new country. All Alphas and Omegas were Betas before Manifestation, so it was a process everyone had to go through, but the reason for Lee Hyun’s Manifestation itself was special. Rau couldn’t help but feel proud and pitiful of his adaptation and growth.

“Awi too, though.”

“Me? Why me? I’m honest with my mouth too.”

Seemingly quite wronged, Lee Hyun wrinkled his nose, which was rare. Rau pounced on his profile and showered his cheek with kisses. He was happy.

Suddenly, Rau felt a sense of déjà vu about the current appearance of himself and Lee Hyun.

And he soon realized the cause of that déjà vu.

It wasn’t something he had experienced with Lee Hyun.

Back when he was stalking Lee Hyun and looking for an apartment in Paris. The day he went to see the current Room 601, Rau had stood by the window and looked down at the street. He had noticed a male couple coming out of the supermarket with groceries. He had envied their peaceful Saturday as they walked down the street holding hands.

The only difference between us and them now is that we don’t have a baby.

He wanted to tell his past self to wait a little longer. That such a wonderful day would come soon. That Seo Yi-hyun was worth waiting for a lifetime.

But there was no need to tell him. Rau himself already knew that fact.

■ ■ ■

The two’s accommodation was located on the first floor of a small two-story detached house.

There was one bedroom separated only by walls without doors, and the large window in the living room/kitchen overlooked a well-maintained courtyard. They had enjoyed breakfast at the makeshift table there three times in the past week. The window faced the courtyard, so even though the building faced the road, the quietness was also pleasing.

They had only stayed for a week, but they were already quite familiar with the neighborhood atmosphere and the house. The way they opened the door with the key and entered the house was so natural that the two of them looked like residents rather than travelers.

“Should we start cooking right away?”

“Yeah, let’s do that. Can you organize the ingredients first? I’ll put the flowers in a vase.”

“Then can Awi take out the gnocchi dough too?”

“Yep.”

Lee Hyun chuckled at Rau’s playful answer.

While Lee Hyun was taking things out of the shopping bag, Rau first took the dough out of the freezer. Then he unfolded the chrysanthemum bouquet and filled a vase with water. He trimmed the stems to fit the height of the vase with the scissors provided in the accommodation. Humming unconsciously.

Lee Hyun, who had laid out all the items from the shopping bag on the counter, suddenly said in a regretful voice.

“We’re leaving tomorrow, but I think we bought too much.”

“Let’s see.”

Rau, holding scissors in one hand and flowers in the other, approached Lee Hyun.

Italian persimmons, Swiss figs, South African tangerines. Four or five kinds of vegetables, 500g of sirloin for steak, bacon, basil pesto sauce, Mövenpick ice cream for dessert (Lee Hyun chose mango sorbet, Rau chose chocolate), and two bottles of wine.

“Hmm… no. If we have breakfast tomorrow, there won’t be anything left, will there?”

“Can we really eat all this?”

“Of course. I’m planning to use a lot of energy tonight.”

“……”

At the mention of sex, Lee Hyun immediately shut his mouth. It was a strategy of pretending not to hear.

When they talked about this kind of thing outside, Lee Hyun was more wary than embarrassed. It was because he was worried about someone overhearing. But it was different in a place where they were alone. In these situations, embarrassment and tension were greater. He was aware that it was a place where a fire could ignite at any moment, where sexual acts could be carried out.

Because of the very fact that he was aware of it, Lee Hyun’s reaction made Rau even more thrilled. He couldn’t help but want to tease him more because he wanted to see this reaction. What could he do about him being so cute and sexy?

Besides, today was the last night of their 40-day trip. Even if the earth split in two, he had no intention of just letting it pass.

Trying to hide his embarrassment, Lee Hyun began to organize the ingredients with even more bustling movements. Rau smiled slyly but didn’t push Lee Hyun any further.

By the time he had cleaned up the cut stems and packaging and decorated the vase with flowers, Lee Hyun was looking at his phone in front of the counter.

“Did you get any messages?”

“From Gabriela. She asked what time would be good for us to check out tomorrow.”

“Hmm… the train is at 10:34, so should we tell her to come around 8:30?”

“Okay. I’ll tell her that.”

Gabriela was the host of the accommodation. She lived on the second floor of the building right next door and ran a café downstairs. When they met and greeted her at check-in and were treated to welcome coffee at her café, the two of them also got information about the city from Gabriela.

Her tone was blunt, but she was the kind of person who was friendly through actions rather than words. When the two of them were having a late breakfast in the garden, she would bring them lattes made at the café. She also shared chestnuts she had picked up from a nearby mountain. It was Gabriela who told them that chestnuts and acorns were abundant in most Swiss mountain areas in the fall.

Among the shared accommodations they had stayed in for 40 days, some were run by professional companies, and some were non-face-to-face systems where they didn’t see the host at all. But all the hosts they had met in person were good people. He got along well with some of them and even invited each other to meals and exchanged email accounts.

“Lee Hyun-ah, can you wash the vegetables after you send the messages?”

“Yeah, okay.”

After confirming that Lee Hyun was engrossed in exchanging messages, Rau hurried to the bedroom. Being careful not to make a loud noise, he took out a large beach towel from the closet and spread it on the bed sheet. It was for the sex that would follow after dinner.

Unlike hotels, shared accommodations didn’t allow you to change the sheets as much as you wanted. It was possible to pay an additional fee, but they didn’t have extra sheets for guests to change themselves. That meant they couldn’t sleep in new sheets after sex.

With that in mind, Rau had prepared three beach towels in advance before the trip. Because of that, the volume of his luggage had increased significantly, but that wasn’t a problem. It was as important a necessity for Rau as condoms were for a Beta male on a trip with his lover.

During sex, Lee Hyun secreted a tremendous amount of Love nectar. Recently, the amount of secretion had been increasing even more. He didn’t want him to not be able to concentrate on sex because he was worried about the sheets getting wet. In addition, he also wanted to let him sleep in comfortable sheets after sex.

After spreading out the towel, Rau took out a small paper box from the bedside table drawer this time. It was an oral contraceptive for Alphas that he took in advance before intercourse.

Lee Hyun hadn’t fully Manifested as an Omega yet, so the probability of pregnancy was close to zero. The doctor in charge also advised that contraception was still unnecessary. Even so, he couldn’t be careless. Lee Hyun was Diamond Dust, not a typical Beta in the process of Manifesting as an Omega.

The moment he tilted his head back and swallowed the pill without water, Lee Hyun’s voice came closer.

“Kun, I washed all the vegetables, should I open the wine in advanc…e…”

Lee Hyun’s steps, which had just entered the bedroom, stopped abruptly.

Lee Hyun’s gaze, who had witnessed him swallowing the pill, turned to the box in Rau’s hand. Lee Hyun’s face, which had already turned red just from that, burst into flames the next moment. He had seen the towel spread out on the bed.

Rau, who had also paused for a moment, put the medicine box back in its place and said as if nothing was wrong.

“Ah, it’s good to open the wine in advance. But I’ll do it. You might hurt your hand.”

Rau, who had walked around the bed, put his hands on Lee Hyun’s shoulders from behind. He pushed him towards the kitchen, who didn’t know what to do. Lee Hyun moved his feet as Rau led him, with his head bowed without saying a word.

In the awkward silence, Rau opened the wine, and Lee Hyun put water on to boil the gnocchi dough. Rau, who was glancing at Lee Hyun from the corner of his eye, approached the induction cooktop where Lee Hyun was as if he didn’t care. Then he put the opener in the drawer and threw out a passing remark.

“I was just taking medicine, Lee Hyun-ah.”

“…I know.”

After closing the drawer, he put his hand on Lee Hyun’s shoulder and approached him closely from behind. The round auricle touched his lips. Rau added in a whisper.

“I wasn’t masturbating.”

“Ugh, really…!”

Lee Hyun’s reddened face turned to look at Rau. Lee Hyun’s eyes, who was pressing his hand on the left ear that Rau had whispered into, were full of resentment. Rau poked his cheek with his index finger and smiled.

“Are you that embarrassed just by seeing me taking birth control pills? Still?”

“I’m not embarrassed. I was just… flustered.”

Turning his head, Lee Hyun tried to leave the spot. Rau pulled his arm and hugged him lightly from behind.

“Seo Yi-hyun is amazing once we start, though, right?”

“That’s because of Pheromone!”

“Ah… so you can’t help but do that because of Pheromone.”

“That’s right. Kun also knows what happens when you’re exposed to Pheromone.”I thought it was because you loved me so much, that’s why you became erotic.””

“……”

Seo Yi-hyun, who couldn’t deny that it wasn’t like that, was unbearably lovely.

The movements of struggling to get out of his arms also subsided. Looking down at his reddened cheeks and earlobes, Rau was simply pleased. But Lee Hyun, who had been biting his lower lip tightly, muttered quietly, as if he was a little wronged.

“Rau too….”

“Yeah?”

“Rau too… is embarrassed right now.”

“That’s right.”

“……”

This time, it was a bewildered expression with his mouth shut that looked up at Rau. Why are you admitting it so readily? That was the look on his face.

Rau, who had let go of Lee Hyun’s waist, walked to the counter. He didn’t even eat it, but he unnecessarily rummaged through the persimmons that Lee Hyun had washed and piled up. Then he took out his sincerity.

“I guess I still want to be a perfect man in front of you.”

“……”

There was no reaction. Anxious, he turned to look at Lee Hyun. He was narrowing his brow, saying he didn’t understand what he meant. Rau, who had been looking at Lee Hyun for a while, decided to tell the truth and let out a light sigh.

“When the atmosphere gets good and we go to the bedroom, I just want to show you the perfectly prepared result. I don’t want you to see me preparing it.”

He felt like a teenage boy who wasn’t confident in dating. But he didn’t dislike even this feeling. The desire to be seen as a perfect man to Lee Hyun was genuine, but the greater sincerity was that he didn’t want to treat him with any technique.

Lee Hyun’s lips twitched after hearing the confession. He wanted to laugh, but he seemed to be holding back because he was worried that Rau would be hurt. Lee Hyun, who had come from behind, wrapped his arms around Rau’s waist and hugged him. It was a situation reversed from a little while ago.

“Kun won’t look shabby with just that.”

“Don’t you think I’m just a guy with nothing but sex on his mind?”

“Since Awi told me honestly, should I tell you one too?”

“……?”

“If you look like it’s okay even if you don’t do it with me, I think I’ll hate that more.”

“Ah….”

An exclamation escaped from Rau’s lips. The words of his lover, who was ten years younger and still embarrassed about sex, were close to shocking.

“It’s not because you only have that thought in your head, but because you’re preparing for me. So Awi is perfect.”

Rau tried to turn around. But Lee Hyun hugged him even tighter. The next moment, Lee Hyun’s forehead landed on Rau’s shoulder.

“Don’t look at me now.”

“I want to see you. Can’t I?”

“If you see me now, I’ll never tell you honest things again.”

That won’t do. That’s unacceptable. Rau obediently shut his mouth.

He stood there for a while with Lee Hyun hugging him from behind. The scent of chrysanthemums rose from the vase on the counter, and the maple tree in the courtyard could be seen through the window.

“The leaves must have changed color in Awi’s Seoul house too.”

“That’s right. It’ll be red and yellow when we get back.”

The last day of the trip. This moment was like a piece of chocolate left.

Rau stroked Lee Hyun’s arms around his waist. He looked at the same scenery like that.

Marry me so I can make this moment last forever. He felt a strong urge to say that. But Rau only wore an ambiguous smile where Lee Hyun couldn’t see.

■ ■ ■

“Wow… it’s quite plausible, isn’t it?”

“It looks even better in the picture.”

“Let’s see.”

Lee Hyun showed Rau the phone screen. The dinner table in the photo, which had a few candles lit instead of lights and was decorated with the chrysanthemum flowers he had received as a gift, looked quite romantic.

“Whoever took the picture is good at taking pictures.”

“It’s like a restaurant.”

Lee Hyun looked at the screen with a proud expression, and Rau, who was standing next to him, looked at Lee Hyun’s profile. When Lee Hyun, who felt his gaze, looked up at Rau. When their eyes met at a very close distance, Rau almost reflexively wanted to kiss him. But even he thought his expressions of affection were too frequent. He decided to be satisfied with just smiling briefly and ruffling Lee Hyun’s hair.

“Don’t you think our cooking skills have improved quite a bit during the trip?”

“If you call gnocchi and steak cooking, other people will laugh.”

“Who are these other people?”

“People who are good at cooking like Ben or Jun.”

“Ah… Jun. The Jun who had a crush on Seo Yi-hyun and even made Beef Bourguignon for him.”

Even as they sat facing each other across the table, the conversation didn’t stop.

“Don’t pretend to be jealous when you’re not.”

“You think I’m not really jealous?”

“You’re just teasing. I’m over what happened with Jun now…”

“……”

“Or… am I not?”

Seeing Rau’s sulky expression, Lee Hyun slowly trailed off, changing the end of his sentence. Even as he poured wine into Lee Hyun’s glass first, Rau’s lips remained set in a firm line.

“That was a long time ago. Awi and Jun get along well now.”

“Me? Get along with that guy? Get along?”

Rau widened his eyes and pointed to his chest with his index finger.

“When you guys get together with The Hands, you two talk well together…”

“Well, I’m much older, and it wouldn’t look good to keep ignoring him. I’m just being social for your reputation.”

Rau filled his own glass with wine and set the bottle down on the edge of the table. Then, he added with a confident tone, “He still likes you. I can’t be friendly with him.”

“That he still likes me is a bit…”

“Even though he’s still hostile to me, but becomes docile as soon as you say a word?”

“That’s just because he follows you like a Hyung…”

“……”

Again, Lee Hyun’s words slowed and then stopped abruptly. He was confused whether Rau was joking or being serious, but seeing his hardening expression, he felt like he knew the answer.

Lee Hyun raised his glass and smiled brightly.

“Shall we make a toast?”

At the sight of Lee Hyun’s clear and simple smile, like an ink-and-wash painting, Rau couldn’t help but smile back.

When did he learn to deflect and escape like this?

Lee Hyun’s skill in handling Rau was improving day by day. Rau was simply happy to be fooled by Lee Hyun, even though he knew all his intentions.

Even after they raised their glasses and clinked them together, Rau’s smile continued, and Lee Hyun glanced at him with an uneasy look.

“What’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?”

“Kun, that smile right now, it’s a meaningful smile. What is it?”

“I was just thinking that Seo Yi-hyun has really become an adult.”

“I was an adult when I first met Awi.”

Lee Hyun, who was putting down his wine glass as he retorted, looked somewhat sulky. He looked like a just-turned-twenty-year-old boy who was upset that he wasn’t being treated like an adult.

Seo Yi-hyun sulking and grumbling. It was an image that would have been unimaginable around the time they first met when he was twenty-one.

“No, Seo Yi-hyun back then was more of a grown-up than an adult.”

“You mean I was immature?”

“Of course not. Could there ever have been an immature period for Seo Yi-hyun? I bet he was composed even when he was six or seven.”

“Then?”

Rau stared intently at Lee Hyun’s face, which was full of curiosity. Then, he picked up his glass again, brought it to his lips, lowered his gaze as if it were nothing, and said, “I was just thinking that you’ve learned how to handle me.”

“……”

“At first, you seemed like a boy who didn’t know anything about dating or love. Now, you play with me.”

“That’s because Awi had more experience than me, and knew all about dating and love.”

Lee Hyun’s grumbling was also a rare sight. Rau leaned his upper body far over the table, his eyes shining.

“Are you jealous? Seo Yi-hyun is jealous of my past?”

“……”

Instead of answering, Lee Hyun silently stared at him with a resentful look. Rau decided not to tease him any further. He smiled blandly, reached out, and took Lee Hyun’s hand, which was lying loosely on the table.

“What do I know?”

“……”

“Don’t you know how I lived before I met you?”

They had shared countless stories with each other. The main date for a long-distance couple separated by 90,000 kilometers was a phone call. Whether it was a phone call or a video call, there was bound to be a lot of conversation.

Rau had thought that it wasn’t polite to talk about the past with Lee Hyun. That’s why Rau hadn’t brought up the topic first. But if Lee Hyun was curious, he was ready to reveal everything honestly. Rau also wanted to be the object of jealousy at least once.

However, Lee Hyun was more mature and less prone to emotional waste than anyone Rau knew. He didn’t seem like he would care about the past that had already passed. He had almost given up on jealousy.

「When was the last time you were in a relationship before you met me?」

So when he received that question from Lee Hyun, he had jumped up from his lying position. He had been feeling drowsy listening to Lee Hyun’s voice, but it felt like he had suddenly woken up.

「You don’t have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable…」

Lee Hyun had added hesitantly.

Lee Hyun, conscious of his past partners and feeling jealous of them, was incredibly lovable. He wanted to fly to Paris right away, hug him tightly in his arms, and bury his lips in his soft cheeks.

The fact that Lee Hyun was jealous of someone else because of him was thrilling and tangy. If consideration, hugs, and kisses were the sweetness of love, then jealousy was the tanginess of love. Rau had tasted both of them through Lee Hyun.

It wasn’t something to be proud of at this age, but he had never had a relationship that could be called a proper romance. Of course, there had been people he had dated a few times, whether out of attraction or curiosity. But each time, it had failed to develop into a serious relationship and had ended anticlimactically. Rau had confessed honestly and calmly to Lee Hyun.

「To develop into a romantic relationship, there has to be a point where you have to adjust to each other, but I always got stuck there. I didn’t want to continue the relationship by changing myself.」

After a few dates, the contact would fade away, or one of them would step forward and say that they didn’t think there was any need to see each other again, and the meeting would end.

Because he couldn’t meet one person steadily, rumors circulated in Hong Kong society that Rau was a playboy. There were also rumors that he was picky and had high standards. Rau didn’t care.

「I accepted that I wasn’t the type for romance. I thought it would be like that in the future too.」

「But then I appeared, right?」

Lee Hyun was cool at times like this. Rau smiled and nodded seriously in agreement.

「That’s right. My Diamond Dust, which neither control nor suppressants could stop, appeared.」

But for Rau Wikun to know everything about love and romance. Lee Hyun was just being sulky now. Rau was just as unfamiliar with love as Lee Hyun had been back then. He was a novice who had never sacrificed for anyone or suffered from longing.

“It was the same for me.”

Rau tightened his grip, pulling Lee Hyun’s hand slightly, asking him to look into his eyes.

“It’s only you. You’re the only one I’ve ever been crazy about, the only one I’ve ever learned true love by watching and waiting for. It’s all through you.”

“I know… I didn’t say it because I didn’t know how much Kun loves me.”

Lee Hyun, who was mumbling while avoiding his gaze, was feeling sorry. He was worried that his words might have sounded like he was doubting Rau’s love.

“Yeah. I know that Seo Yi-hyun knows.”

Only then did Lee Hyun chuckle. Rau squeezed his hand once more before letting it go. Then, he served salad onto Lee Hyun’s plate. Lettuce and arugula, topped with red tomatoes and orange persimmons. It was a salad with pretty, colorful hues.

Swiss cheese was famous and delicious, but it wasn’t included in the salad this time. The two had a plan to try to eat the famous local specialties of each region as much as possible, and they had generally put it into practice, but foods with strong tastes and smells like cheese couldn’t be put on the dinner table. The reason, of course, was because of the lover-like time that would naturally follow dinner.

“Thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”

After Rau served him the salad, Lee Hyun thanked him before picking up his fork.

The two had already finished debating the issue of serving food early in the trip. Lee Hyun, who said he could serve himself, and Rau, who said he wanted to do it, so he should be allowed to, were fiercely opposed to each other. And the victory went to Rau.

Even while waiting quietly as he served the food, Lee Hyun’s expression always seemed like he wanted to grumble like this.

I can do it myself….

Watching Lee Hyun like that was another pleasure for Rau.

The food was all fresh and delicious. If the ingredients were excellent, even simple dishes could taste their best. The wine, which they had deliberately chosen to be light in texture, went well with the salad and basil pesto in addition to the steak, even though it was red.

“I think you chose the wine well.”

“Really?”

“It goes well with the basil pesto and the steak.”

Rau burst into a cheerful laugh.

“I was thinking the same thing. We’re a match made in heaven.”

Lee Hyun laughed at Rau, who gave meaning to even trivial things.

Outside the window, it was gradually getting darker, so slowly that it was hard to notice. The candle on the table felt all the brighter. Gazing at each other’s faces, illuminated by the warm orange light, the stories and laughter of the autumn night were endless.

When the steak and gnocchi were almost gone, Rau leaned his arm, holding the wine glass, loosely on the table.

“Come to think of it, you seemed to be standing in front of Egon Schiele’s work for a long time earlier.”

“Ah…”

Like a boy who had been caught with a small secret, Lee Hyun smiled awkwardly. Then, he nodded seriously.

“I still seem to be more drawn to heavy topics. I don’t know how it will change later.”

Life, death, meaning, relationships, anxiety. And yet, hope, love.

Lee Hyun was more engrossed in more difficult subjects, and the art world was sharply divided over Lee Hyun.

“Personally, there are many parts of Schiele’s personal life that I can’t agree with. But the boldness to choose potentially uncomfortable topics…”

“……”

“Or the way he expresses them…”

“……”

Even while speaking, Lee Hyun was constantly organizing his thoughts and carefully choosing his words. Lee Hyun, who was scratching the stem of his wine glass and pondering what to say next, suddenly closed his lips completely. Then, he just stared at Rau across from him.

“Why?”

“Just because. Kun is pretty.”

“Suddenly, after talking about Schiele?”

“You could be frustrated, but you always wait silently for me to finish talking. I thought Kun like that… looked pretty.”

“That’s because even the silences in between are Seo Yi-hyun’s language to me.”

As if it were natural, as if it were nothing special. Rau shrugged his shoulders and swallowed the wine, tilting the glass he had been spinning in his hand. Then, he ate some more salad.

“This was imported from Italy, right? I didn’t know Italian persimmons were so delicious.”

“Yeah, they’re delicious.”

Lee Hyun, who had been carefully observing Rau, put down his glass and leaned forward a little more. As if he really had to say this much.

“How can Awi keep coming up with those kinds of things to say?”

“Hmm? What kind of things?”

“Those… sweet things.”

“That Italian persimmons are delicious?”

Pfft. Lee Hyun, who was caught off guard, burst out laughing. The candle in front of him flickered greatly for a moment before returning to its place.

“No. That even the silences in between are Seo Yi-hyun’s language… things like that.”

“Do I seem like a playboy?”

“It’s different from that. If I thought it was a playboy line, I wouldn’t have reacted at all.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“It’s not a problem. It’s just that I can’t say those things to Awi very well…”

“You know it’s genuine. That’s all that matters.”

Rau said it lightly and smiled lightly again, as if it were nothing special. But Lee Hyun was still not relieved. He was worried that his love was not being fully conveyed to Rau, and that he was just relying on the understanding of his older lover. Even confiding these anxieties was probably just him being childishly dependent on him….

“Don’t worry about that, because you’re receiving enough affection.”

Rau filled Lee Hyun’s glass with more wine, a meaningful and suggestive smile on his lips.

“Seo Yi-hyun has more affection than you think.”

“No, I don’t…”

“Yes, you do.”

Extending his arm and clinking his glass against Lee Hyun’s, Rau smiled with his eyes from across the candlelight.

“Especially in bed, love overflows.”

If it were normal, Lee Hyun would have blushed and pretended not to hear or would have scolded him. But perhaps because of the romantic atmosphere, or because of Rau’s face, which looked especially handsome in the light of the candle, this time he didn’t avoid his gaze, even though his face was slightly flushed. He even smiled a little, and Rau felt a new thrill from Lee Hyun in a different direction than he had before, at that smile that showed composure in the face of a sexual joke.

The two drank their wine almost simultaneously, and put down their glasses almost simultaneously.

“Kun.”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you so much for this trip.”

“What was there to thank me for? We split the expenses in half, and we divided the preparations. I didn’t do anything particularly more, did I?”

“I wouldn’t have even dared to carry out this trip on my own.”

“……”

Because the promise that could never be kept had become too heavy.

Across from him, Rau’s eyes deepened and his expression became serious.

He would say something witty to lighten the mood, or he would tell him words that were so sweet they would tickle his ears. That’s what he thought. He just reached out over the table and took Lee Hyun’s hand, which was fiddling with the wine glass. Tell me, because I’ll listen to you as much as you want.

Lee Hyun responded to him and clasped his hand.

“Sending postcards to my father was also painful at first. Even though the promise to go together as three could not be kept, I could have achieved it with my father alone, but the thought that my father had turned away from me welled up again…”

Lee Hyun’s hand, which was holding Rau’s hand, gripped it a little tighter.

“But around the middle of the trip, I felt like I was being healed each time I sent a postcard.”

“……”

“And today… I wrote that on the postcard.”

Focusing on Lee Hyun’s voice, Rau even swallowed hard.

“That I’m glad I took this trip. That I had a happy trip with Awi.”

The gazes fixed only on each other trembled violently with passion. But soon it became quiet.

“Thank you so much for letting me say that. These 40 days meant more than just a trip to me.”

Rau moved his lips as if to say something. But he couldn’t say anything and let out a faint sigh.

No, what he wanted to say was clear.

The desire to propose rose clearly once again.

He wanted to embrace Lee Hyun’s present, future, and even his past. He wanted so badly to gain the qualifications of a partner.

But this time too, Rau held back. He added his left hand to his right hand, which was holding Lee Hyun’s hand, completely enveloping it, replacing his feelings. Even if it was a gesture that was far from enough to fully convey his feelings.

Lee Hyun smiled brightly and used his fork to pick up the last persimmon left in the salad and held it out to Rau.

“Kun, you eat more. I’ve eaten a lot.”

Even as he opened his mouth to take it, Rau didn’t let go of Lee Hyun’s hand.

“Is it delicious?”

He nodded in response, but somehow Rau couldn’t quite taste it.

He was only thinking about wanting to have this person in front of him as his partner.

The long candle had become short. Even half-hidden by the maple tree in the courtyard, the light of the autumn moon was clear and bright.

Chapter

■ ■ ■

After Hyun-i and Rau finished doing the dishes side by side, it was completely dark outside the window. One of the candles on the dining table, which had been left lit, had gone out, leaving only one flickering. It seemed to burn for about three hours.

Lau walked to the table and blew out the remaining candle. He moved the candlestick, from which smoke was rising, to the counter and approached Lee Hyun, who was finishing up the dishes. He swept Lee Hyun’s hair back with his still slightly damp hand.

“Should we take your medicine before showering?”

Lee Hyun nodded, his eyelids drooping languidly, seemingly enjoying the cool touch of the hand that brushed his hair and rubbed his ear. Seeing Lee Hyun like this, Rau knew that he trusted him completely.

He knew that Lee Hyun wasn’t the type to rely on or depend on anyone. He rarely shared his feelings, even with those closest to him. Sharing worries didn’t halve them, but rather doubled the number of people burdened by them. That’s what Lee Hyun thought. Solving his own problems, no matter what. That was Seo Yi-hyun’s way of caring for his people.

But only in front of Lau Wikun did Lee Hyun often relax.

Lee Hyun was clearly learning through experience during this trip that leaning on Rau comfortably didn’t burden him.

Each time, Rau felt an overwhelming sense of love along with a slight ache in his chest. He loved him so much that he wanted to give him everything, not knowing what to do. He was often swept up in a passion that made him feel like he could do anything to prove his love.

To control that heat, Rau took a long breath. He cupped Lee Hyun’s cheeks and rubbed his nose against his, then gently kissed his forehead, bridge of his nose, philtrum, and lips.

“Kun….”

As they kissed each other like two wolves rubbing snouts to show affection, Lee Hyun suddenly grabbed Rau’s wrist. Only then did Rau realize that he was leaking Pheromones.

“Ah, sorry.”

“No. It’s just the two of us, so you don’t have to apologize….”

Rau could guess what Lee Hyun’s worried gaze was concerned about.

“It’s definitely not a problem with my control itself. I’ve been dropping my guard completely in front of you a lot during this trip. So, without realizing it, I’m just more relaxed when we’re alone.”

“If that’s the case, then that’s a relief.”

That’s what he said to Lee Hyun, but in truth, Rau himself was quite surprised. It was no longer surprising that he released Pheromones when he felt sexual desire for Lee Hyun. But the kisses and skinship just now were expressions of love, not sexual caresses. It was the first time he had unconsciously released Pheromones when caught up in feelings of love. It was proof that he was being more strongly affected by Diamond Dust.

Having been with Lee Hyun for over a month, they had been exchanging Pheromones every day. They had intense Pheromone sex at least four days a week. That must be why. Rau sensed that his Pheromones were beginning to prepare to be to him.

He wanted to say that he felt like he was starting to be bound to him, but Rau smiled, hiding his excitement. He didn’t want to burden Lee Hyun yet.

He poured a cup of lukewarm water that hadn’t been refrigerated, and took out two light pink pills from a plastic bottle placed on the counter.

“Here, your dose for today.”

Rau wanted to make sure to personally take care of his medicine, at least for the duration of their time together.

Lee Hyun was an immature Omega who hadn’t fully Manifested, still in the process of Manifestation. He was receiving regular monthly check-ups from a renowned Omega specialist in Paris, and Marcus from Boston visited Paris every three months to see Lee Hyun separately.

Lee Hyun said that the check-ups with his primary doctor were enough, but Rau was anxious. The doctor in Paris only knew Lee Hyun as an Omega undergoing natural Manifestation, so he wanted him to be examined by Marcus, who knew that he was Diamond Dust. Even if Marcus didn’t know much about ‘Didi,’ it would make him feel a little less anxious.

Both the doctor in Paris and Marcus shared the opinion that he didn’t need to take Heat Suppressants yet. But Lee Hyun wasn’t a typical Omega, so Rau couldn’t rest assured.

In the end, Lee Hyun was taking the Suppressants recommended by the two professors.

There were two main types of Suppressants taken by regular, non-golden Omegas. Relatively strong Sharp Suppressants taken only during Heat, and Balance Suppressants taken daily like vitamins. Lee Hyun was taking the latter. Balance had the disadvantage of having to be taken every day, but it was much milder than Sharp and had almost no side effects.

But just as the Suppressants that Rau had swallowed by the handful in the past had been useless in the face of Lee Hyun’s Pheromones, Rau still felt Lee Hyun’s Pheromones even when he took Suppressants. It was the Diamond Dust Pheromones that only acted on Ghosts, regardless of the Omega’s Pheromones. Pheromones that could only stimulate Rau Wikun, and that only Rau Wikun could enjoy.

Since the Pheromones as Diamond Dust could only be sensed by Rau Wikun anyway, it was okay. The purpose of the Suppressants was to protect Lee Hyun’s Omega Pheromones from the Pheromones of other Alphas. No matter how unlikely it was, Rau wanted to prepare for every possibility.

Rau watched Lee Hyun swallow the pills and took the glass of water from him. Looking up at his face with furrowed brows, Lee Hyun smiled as if he couldn’t help it.

“Kun, I’m not taking medicine because I’m sick.”

“I know.”

“Then why do you make that face every time I take Suppressants?”

“That’s….”

Because it breaks my heart. If he hadn’t met me, he could have lived a normal life as a Beta without the hassle of taking medicine like this. ―But he couldn’t say that to Lee Hyun. It was a statement that didn’t respect Lee Hyun’s decision to choose a future with him. Besides, he didn’t want to entertain the assumption of ‘if he hadn’t met me.’

Lee Hyun approached and rested his chin on the end of Rau’s shoulder as he put the glass in the sink.

“You’re still feeling sorry… aren’t you?”

“Me? No.”

“I’m Diamond Dust. As long as I love Awi, I can’t help but be an Omega.”

“Yeah, I know.”

A Beta who can’t help but be an Omega as long as he loves me.

That was exactly what he felt sorry about, but he couldn’t apologize for making him love him.

“And it’s not Awi’s fault that I’m Diamond Dust.”

Rau turned to face his lover. A person who was shy and introverted but held his own precious intentions, and who would never bend those intentions. He looked up at Rau with calm but firm grey-blue eyes.

“Awi’s mistake was messing up the order. Don’t feel sorry about anything else.”

Rau put his arms around Lee Hyun’s waist. He pressed his lips to his forehead and whispered like a vow.

“I won’t. My angel.”

■ ■ ■

While shampooing each other’s hair and rubbing shower gel on each other’s bodies, the two intertwined playfully like boys. Of course, it was a somewhat suggestive play.

They giggled as they applied foam squeezed from a sponge onto each other’s genitals, pubic hair, and nipples, and Lee Hyun even used Rau’s foam-covered hair to create two small horns on either side.

“Look, it suits you well.”

Lee Hyun pointed to the mirror, amused. Rau turned to look at the mirror that was attached vertically to one side of the shower booth’s tiled wall and wiped the hazy surface with his large palm. He turned his face this way and that in the fan-shaped area where the moisture had been wiped away.

“Ha, so you were playing tricks on my face?”

Lee Hyun, who had come up behind him, pressed the end of Rau’s shoulder with his chin in the mirror and fiddled with the hair horns. He looked very satisfied.

“Cute. Like a cute devil.”

“If a devil… an Incubus?”

With his eyes still meeting Lee Hyun’s in the mirror, Rau reached back and grabbed Lee Hyun’s butt.

“Ugh.”

“You know Incubuses can have children with humans, right?”

“I can’t yet because I’m still Manifesting.”

Rau quickly wrapped his arms around Lee Hyun’s waist and turned him halfway around. In an instant, Lee Hyun was in his arms, facing Rau. From under his lowered eyelids, grey-blue eyes looked at Lee Hyun with a deeper gaze.

“You never know. You’re special, after all.”

“…….”

“My Diamond Dust.”

He whispered from so close that it seemed like he would overlap with Lee Hyun’s lips at any moment.

The water pouring over his head made Rau’s hair fall down over his forehead. Water droplets fell in long streaks from the brow bone above his deeply set eyes, and the water that ran down his prominent nose wet his parted lips.

Lee Hyun’s appearance, standing opposite him, was not much different. Rau ran his fingers through Lee Hyun’s hair, which was plastered to his forehead, and swept it back. White shampoo foam that had flowed down from his abundant black hair slid over Lee Hyun’s shoulders, back, and chest.

Lee Hyun caressed Rau’s wrist, and the water that dripped from Rau’s lips and chin flowed into Lee Hyun’s lips.

“Haa, huu….”

Rau’s hand touched Lee Hyun’s genitals. The wet hand that gripped his penis stroked it from the root to the glans.

“Ah… haa, ha… ugh.”

Lee Hyun’s hands, which were supporting Rau’s chest, scratched and gripped his skin as if digging into his muscles. Rau’s tongue, licking his own lower lip, was particularly red.

He skillfully handled Lee Hyun’s slender flesh. He knew everything about where to grip harder and where to gently release the pressure to make the object in his hand swell. As his long fingers danced, Lee Hyun’s breathing became more rapid.

“Huuhuu… ha! Haa….”

Rau lowered his head and pressed his lips close to Lee Hyun’s ear.

“Make it hard with your hands.”

Lee Hyun, who had been scratching the broad, firm chest muscles, swallowed hard. Then, hesitating, he groped down further with his hand. He touched the limp, unaroused penis that hung heavily. He gently grasped it in his hand, starting from the thick testicles below the penis.

“Hmm….”

An appreciative groan escaped from Rau’s lips as he sucked on Lee Hyun’s collarbone. Stimulated by his reaction, Lee Hyun’s hand pressed and rubbed the testicles more intensely. In proportion to the thickness and length of his penis, his testicles were also ample. Although they were about the size of Lee Hyun’s fist, they were not loosely drooping but were neatly attached in good shape.

Whenever the plump, oval testicles and the thick penis resting on top of them came into view, Lee Hyun always felt a heat rising from the core of his body. As if Rau was calling out to him. As if responding to that call with his body before his words.

When he pulled down slightly and released, the testicles shook heavily. The feeling was different from the shaking of the long penis. When he recalled the weight and rhythm of Rau shaking his hips with his penis deeply inserted, he involuntarily tensed his toes and fingertips.

Ugh. Perhaps he had misjudged his strength, Rau suddenly grabbed Lee Hyun’s wrist. Surprised, he looked up and saw a handsome, wet face smiling with a frown.

“Are you teasing me, pulling like that?”

“I’m sorry. I was spacing out…. Did it hurt?”

“You were spacing out while caressing between my legs?”

“That’s not….”

“Spacing out….”

Rau buried his nose deep in Lee Hyun’s neck and inhaled deeply.

“While releasing Pheromones like this?”

“…….”

“I think you were having a lewd thought instead.”

Rau’s hand, which had been holding Lee Hyun’s penis, began to move more ruthlessly.

“Ugh! Hng….”

Lee Hyun unconsciously put his arms under Rau’s armpits and grabbed his shoulders as if clinging to him. Once again, a hazy fog swept through his mind.

Fierce breaths burst from their lips, which were parted as if they would devour each other. Rau’s sharply pointed tongue pierced Lee Hyun’s upper lip and licked his lower lip from below. Then, he pushed in between Lee Hyun’s teeth, long and piercingly, over his tongue. The two lips, which had been slanting away from each other, finally met as one.

“Umm… ungh….”

Pheromones were secreted more actively in areas where body odor was strong, such as the armpits, groin, and neck, as well as in the mouth and glans, and inside the anus, which were made of mucous membranes. They also smelled strongly in bodily fluids such as saliva, pre-cum, semen, and Lee Hyun’s Love nectar. So, this deep kiss was like sticking a straw into a cup full of Pheromones and drinking it in.

“Umm, um. Hng, ungh. Haa….”

They explored each other’s Pheromones, busily tilting their chins this way and that. They sucked on each other’s tongues and bit each other’s lips. Lee Hyun, whose reason had begun to be paralyzed by the Pheromones, was no longer passive. Rau bit and pulled on the tip of Lee Hyun’s tongue between his teeth. Even though saliva dripped from the tongue that was sticking out of his lips, Lee Hyun did not refuse.

“Huuu… huu, ugh, ungh….”

Rather, he pushed his tongue into his mouth and begged him to squeeze and suck harder.

Rau’s eyes, looking down at Lee Hyun, were becoming hazy. He slid his hands, which had been holding Lee Hyun’s sides, down to his buttocks. He squeezed the elastic yet soft white flesh, burying one joint of his finger deep inside. A strong excitement surged up. While twisting his tongue around Lee Hyun’s tongue in his mouth, he shook the voluptuous buttocks in his hands.

“Uungh… ungh….”

Lee Hyun’s breath trembled, and his scent bloomed thickly. Rau pushed him roughly against the tiled wall.

“Ugh!”

Lee Hyun’s bare back hit the wall hard. Before he could bounce back, Rau used his whole body to press him against the wall.

“Umm. Hmm. Hng… ungh.”

Because he was blocked again by the kiss, Lee Hyun could not exhale the panting breaths that were coming out. He wrapped his arms around Rau’s neck, which was standing firm in front of his chest. Thighs like rocks desperately dug into Lee Hyun’s crotch.

“Hng, hng. Heuk. Ung.”

Lee Hyun’s body heaved with the recoil each time he tightened his thighs up and down. The breaths leaking from his lips, which were being sucked on, trembled. Lee Hyun’s heels lifted, and in the end, he was almost floating off the floor.

Whose Pheromone came first was a meaningless calculation. The moment the edges of the two Pheromones, which had been spreading out slowly like ripples, touched each other, they stimulated each other, becoming a large wave that trembled even more fiercely.

They rubbed and pressed their genitals together between their touching lower bellies. The sensation created by the slick skin, where the bubbles hadn’t been completely washed away, and the abundant pre-cum was indescribably erotic. Every single strand of rough pubic hair stood out.

Lee Hyun rubbed his love nectar-leaking hole against Rau’s thigh and his erect penis against his abs. Rau’s thigh, smeared with love nectar thick with Pheromones, was all shiny.

“Haa, ha! Fee, feels goo… good, Kun….”

Wrapping his arms around Kun’s neck, Lee Hyun shook his hips as much as he wanted without thinking. It was as if his body wasn’t his own.

“Feels good, Lee Hyun-ah?”

“Goo, good… good….”

“Seems like it.”

Rau, who had grabbed both of Lee Hyun’s buttocks tightly, pulled them forcefully while pressing his lower body tightly against him.

“Haa! Th, hic!”

Lee Hyun tilted his chin up and squeezed his eyes shut. A tingling thrill ran towards his glans, and he felt strength entering his waist. Thin saliva flowed from his parted lips. The signal for ejaculation was washing over him. Lee Hyun’s legs, floating in the air, struggled. As if he were a fugitive being chased by an object of terror, he desperately clung to Rau’s neck.

“Gah! G, gaa… I think I’m gonna cum, Kun. I, I think I’m gonna cum….”

“Show me you cumming. Huh?”

Rau’s kisses and voice, which landed on Lee Hyun’s panting cheeks and lips, were tender, but in his eyes, which were watching his lover heading towards climax, violent lust flickered. Shaking his thighs and bending his waist flexibly to put pressure on Lee Hyun’s genitals, he coaxed and soothed him, whispering softly.

“It’s better to cum here once or twice. Okay?”

Lee Hyun knew the reason too. Otherwise, he’d spill too much on the bed… so much that two or three towels wouldn’t be enough to clean it up.

“Aah, hng! Ugh, Ku, Kun….”

“Yeah, Lee Hyun-ah.”

It was more thrilling to call Rau’s name at the moment of ejaculation. When he was in Seoul, Lee Hyun always called his name at the end, even when he was masturbating. In fact, even when he was touching himself to heighten his mood, he always imagined Rau touching him and called his name. It was unconscious.

“Haa, ha… Ku, Kun. Kuhueueu… um.”

With his lips blocked by Rau’s kiss, Lee Hyun ejaculated. White fluid splattered abundantly on their bellies and chests. Lee Hyun trembled all over and couldn’t support his body, and Rau hugged Lee Hyun’s waist to support him. It was Lee Hyun who had ejaculated, but Rau was also panting heavily. It was because of the excitement.

He lifted his upper body greatly and looked down. Then, as if he were masturbating, he stroked his own abs and chest, spreading Lee Hyun’s semen widely.

After that, he grabbed Lee Hyun’s wrist, which was wrapped around his neck, and pulled it down. Making eye contact, he kissed the inside of his wrist and chewed on his skin as if he were going to tear off a piece of flesh.

“Haat! Ugh.”

Lee Hyun shrugged his shoulders and trembled. It was more thrilling than painful.

Rau slowly pulled Lee Hyun’s right shoulder, who was watching him like a frightened, docile animal. And he turned Lee Hyun around so that his chest and cheek touched the mirror.

Lee Hyun’s legs, which hadn’t yet escaped the afterglow of ejaculation, swayed precariously. Like a suspect being arrested, he was suppressed so that his cheek was pressed against the mirror, and he gasped in fear of what was about to happen.

Rau’s hand, which was closely attached to his back, slid down his side and approached the front of his groin. Scratching his wet pubic hair, stroking his penis, which hadn’t completely subsided, as if to soothe it, his large hand dug deeper.

“Uu, eu… heuek.”

The moment Rau cupped Lee Hyun’s bottom with his entire palm, Rau’s arms and shoulders hardened. Lee Hyun’s crotch, which he had touched directly, was completely soaked. No, it was continuing to get wetter even at this moment. It was as if ‘that place’ itself had melted away.

A stickiness with a viscosity stronger than water. The love nectar of an Omega, no, Diamond Dust, with a thick scent that made his head spin. Sss… Rau inhaled that scent deep into his lungs and twisted his wrist to caress the soft flesh.

“Haa, hueuung… heuek.”

Lee Hyun’s moans became sweeter as he rubbed his bottom. It was a slightly different sound than when he stroked the front. Listening to the pitiful and mournful voice, Rau released his Pheromones more intensely. At the same time, he put his other arm under Lee Hyun’s armpit, hugged his chest away from the mirror, and then used his thumb to circle his nipple.

“Haa! Heu… heuek.”

Lee Hyun, who had grabbed Rau’s arm that was crossing in front of his chest, now moaned as if he were sobbing softly.

Lee Hyun, bound from behind with a man’s hand between his legs, twisted his waist in pleasure in the watery mirror. Every time Rau cupped and massaged his bottom, Lee Hyun’s testicles and penis, which were hanging on his wrist, twitched. Stroking the plump nipple with his thumb, Rau kissed the back of Lee Hyun’s ear.

“Looks good.”

And he took his palm away from between his legs and tilted it towards the mirror. A milky white, translucent liquid pooled abundantly on his palm. The sticky mucus stretched out long between Lee Hyun’s groin and Rau’s palm. Without a moment’s hesitation, Rau raised his hand and licked the clump of Pheromones stuck to it with his tongue.

“Cr… crazy!”

Lee Hyun, who had been leaning against Rau’s shoulder, jumped and lunged, snatching his wrist. But Rau’s Adam’s apple had already moved greatly.

Due to the strong action of the Pheromones that confused his consciousness, Rau shook his head several times. The water droplets clinging to his hair splashed in all directions.

“I bury my face in your bottom and suck it every day. What’s wrong with just this much?”

“Th, that’s different.”

“It’s not the first time I’ve done this, is it?”

As if to show off, Rau licked the love nectar on his palm, that clump of Pheromones, one more time. When Lee Hyun, whose face had turned red, tried to lunge again, he pulled his arm back this time. Hugging Lee Hyun’s struggling waist and smiling mischievously, he turned off the faucet with his long arm and kissed Lee Hyun’s cheeks here and there, peck, peck, peck.

Pheromones poured out from him, who had directly swallowed Didi’s Pheromones. Like being swept away by a large wave, Lee Hyun couldn’t come to his senses for a moment.

“Heueu… haa, ha….”

Taking advantage of that gap, Rau once again pushed Lee Hyun towards the mirror. He pressed his groin tightly against Lee Hyun’s buttocks. His handsome buttocks were pressed down, pushing the flesh up in a bulge, and his glans wriggled with its head sticking out from between the cheeks. The sight of the pre-cum overflowing from his glans wetting and flowing down Lee Hyun’s buttocks made Rau’s breathing rough.

Huu…. He ran his hand down Lee Hyun’s spine and grabbed his slender sides. Moving his waist slowly from bottom to top, his glans repeatedly buried itself in and emerged from Lee Hyun’s buttocks. He had to bite his lip painfully hard at the excessively obscene sight.

Thud. Lee Hyun slammed his forehead against the mirror and twisted his waist. The movement of the hard, hot penis rubbing against his buttocks, reminiscent of intercourse, made Lee Hyun collapse.

“Uueueu, ung… heuek, heu….”

“Lee Hyun-ah.”

Rau, who was close to Lee Hyun’s profile, whispered and asked. Now Rau was like someone intoxicated with narcotic drugs. His Pheromone-soaked brain refused rational thought. He once again rubbed Lee Hyun’s bottom with his wide palm.

“Should I make you cum more here, before we go to the bedroom?”

Lee Hyun’s situation wasn’t much different from Rau’s. Saliva dripped down from Lee Hyun’s lips, who was looking down at the floor and rubbing the crown of his head against the mirror.

“Haeup, ha… haa, huu….”

Gasping for uneven breaths, Lee Hyun barely turned his head to look at Rau.

“The amount has increased too much lately, hasn’t it?”

The hand that cupped and caressed his bottom was secretive. He knew he wasn’t talking about semen. He was talking about making him release more love nectar in the bathroom. Lee Hyun leaned against the mirror and only gasped, as if trying to control the end of his sobs, unable to answer whether he disliked it or liked it.

But Lee Hyun’s Pheromones, which were spreading thickly, were answering instead.

Rau, who had his chest pressed tightly against Lee Hyun’s back, stroked down Lee Hyun’s trembling thighs. And he lifted the back of his knees.

“Eut.”

In the next moment, Lee Hyun’s calves were floating in the air.

Lee Hyun was an adult man, so it wasn’t like he lifted him up easily, but it wasn’t like Rau struggled either. As if lifting a barbell for muscle training, he just put strength into his biceps, and lifted Lee Hyun into the air.

A position where he put his hands on the back of his knees and lifted him up facing forward. His knees were bent, and the space between his thighs was wide open, exposing his crotch completely. No matter how you sugarcoat it, it was a position for making someone pee.

Lee Hyun groped and wrapped his hands around Rau’s arms.

“I think I’m going to fall.”

He pretended to be anxious, but it was actually an attempt to sugarcoat his shame.

“I’ll never drop you. I know because I’ve done this position several times.”

Whispering in a roughly scratched voice, Rau repeatedly kissed Lee Hyun’s sticky nape in front of him.

Yes, he had inserted into him in this position several times. But he had never done this in front of a mirror without even inserting.

Lee Hyun tried to close his thighs, but it was impossible. Rather, Rau widened the space between his legs even more as if to show off. Rau’s penis, which had hardened again while being caressed, was exposed in the mirror without any concealment.

Rau’s stiffly erect penis was closely attached to his buttocks. It was long enough to cross over his anus and poke his testicles, even touching Lee Hyun’s penis. It felt like that pillar would change direction and stab deep inside at any moment. Lee Hyun swallowed hard without realizing it.

“I can see your Pheromones getting thicker, so you must like it.”

Once they started exchanging Pheromones, lying about sex was useless. Rau, who had kissed Lee Hyun’s nape, made a sound of blowing air, as if warning him to be quiet this time.

“Shh… sh….”

“Why, why are you making that sound? It’s not like I’m peeing.”

“It’s similar. Try to work hard like you’re peeing. Shh….”

“Don’t do it. Th, that kind of sound won’t make it com….”Thud.” Before he could finish speaking, a translucent, sticky liquid stretched out long towards the floor. It flowed down, wrapping around Rau’s penis that was blocking the front of his hole, and fell heavily.

Lee Hyun shook his head and struggled with his legs floating in the air. Even so, he couldn’t take his eyes off the image reflected in the mirror. After spitting out a large lump a couple of times, a thinner love nectar started to leak out. Tap, tap. Drip, drip.

He knew that the amount of secretions would increase and soak two or three large towels. He had touched himself with his own hands, and he had seen Rau’s face get shiny from how much he had spilled. But it was the first time he had directly confirmed the scene of it coming out of his body like this.

So this is what an Omega is.

So that it can receive the Alpha’s large penis without any lubricant, it pours out so much love nectar that the inside of the anus overflows….

The realization that his anus was no longer just an anus was in the mirror. Inside, Rau pressed his lips closely to Lee Hyun’s ear. He whispered softly, as if sharing a secret.

“What happened.”

“Heueu, heuk… heut….”

“You said it wouldn’t come out if you said shh.”

“Haa, heu. Euk.”

“Did you start peeing out of your bottom instead of your penis now?”

Just listening to his lewd talk made new love nectar fill up. Ulgeok, ulgeok. Lee Hyun shuddered and struggled with his legs at the sensation of it pouring out of his bottom. It was such a large amount that it felt like all of his insides would fall out. At first, it was heavy and stretched out long, but after spitting out a large lump a couple of times, its concentration became thinner and it flowed out.

“Do other Omegas… become like this? Is that right, Kun?”

Rau stirred the pooled bodily fluids, which had formed a small puddle, with his toes.

“Our Lee Hyun is a bit, watery.”

Then he tapped his foot on the love nectar, making a splashing sound. The sound of the sticky mucus sticking to and falling off his skin was reminiscent of intercourse. Creak, creak, creak, creak.

“I’ve changed my mind.”

In the mirror, Rau, with crazy eyes, licked Lee Hyun’s earlobe with the tip of his tongue.

“Let me suck your cunt juice.”In an instant, Lee Hyun’s hole contracted and relaxed, and love nectar poured out more intensely once again.” Lee Hyun turned his head towards Rau, who was standing behind him.

After a messy kiss where they rubbed and twisted their tongues outside their lips, Lee Hyun gasped for breath. Kissing the tip of Rau’s high nose, he groped his own bottom with his own hands.

“Do it. Let Awi suck my here.”

Rau couldn’t maintain his sanity.

■ ■ ■

Moonlight seeped in through the large window facing the courtyard. Thanks to that, the kitchen and living room were bright enough, but the light didn’t intrude into the bedroom beyond the partition.

Dim light was faintly reflected on the bare skin of the two people intertwined in a messy position, up and down.

Rau was lying on his back facing the ceiling with his knees raised, and Lee Hyun was lying upside down on top of Rau, exposing his lower body in front of his eyes. It wasn’t just exposed. He exposed everything, from his buttocks that were open because he was bending his upper body, to the hole between them, his balls, and his penis.

The two people, who had buried their faces between each other’s legs, freely observed, licked, sucked, and touched each other’s genitals with their lips, tongues, and hands. It was as if they had forgotten that the other person had the same structure as them, and was the same sex only in terms of their primary gender. To Rau, Lee Hyun’s anus, and to Lee Hyun, Rau’s penis, were considered to be thoroughly mysterious reproductive organs of the opposite sex.

Lee Hyun struggled to swallow the glans that filled his mouth as deeply as possible. But it was difficult not only because of its thickness, but also because of the pre-cum that was constantly flowing. His mouth was all sticky. Some of it went over Lee Hyun’s throat without permission.

Because he kept swallowing Pheromone-mixed bodily fluids, Lee Hyun was becoming bolder. He wasn’t embarrassed even though Rau’s face was buried between his buttocks and he was doing whatever he wanted to all of his most private places.

“Huu, um. Uup. Ung.”

A suppressed sound echoed from Lee Hyun’s mouth, which was blocked by Rau’s penis. It sounded like a request for rescue. The stimulation happening between his legs was excessive.

Rau was almost kissing Lee Hyun’s anus. He moved in and out of the inside with his sharply pointed tongue, and he curved the end to gently scratch the inside. He also rubbed the entrance of the hole roughly with his voluptuous lips that felt voluminous.

“Hook, huu. Uuuu, uung.”

He couldn’t stand the feeling of the smooth tongue spreading out widely and rubbing against the anus and the soft flesh around it.

Lee Hyun gave up on swallowing more of the glans. Instead, he tried stimulating it by putting it in and taking it out of his mouth. Chuup, chup. Chururup. The bodily fluids flowing down the pillar brushed against Lee Hyun’s lips, creating a fairly embarrassing friction sound, but it wasn’t much different from the sounds coming from between his legs.

“Uum, hook. Eup.”

The sensation of the distinct edge of the glans scratching the inside of his cheek as it came out kept reminding him of sex. The moment he recalled the feeling of this object going in and out of the inside of his buttocks and scratching his sensitive inner walls, Lee Hyun’s hole twitched and tightened.

“Haa, heup.”

Rau didn’t miss that moment and pushed his finger long into the hole. It wasn’t his index finger or middle finger, but his fourth finger. The one wearing the same ring as Lee Hyun.

Lee Hyun’s hole, which had swallowed his ring finger whole, leaving only the matte, simple ring, chewed on his finger and squirmed. The whitish love nectar that was being pushed out beyond the edge wetted the ring and flowed down Rau’s back of his hand and wrist.

Heok, heok.

A fierce light flashed in Rau’s bloodshot eyes. His Pheromones, which had the beautiful scenery right in front of him, were wafting out, even more toxic and intense.

“Heueung, ung… keuheuk, hueup.”

Every time Lee Hyun moaned, the moist flesh walls wriggled and clung to his finger. Rau’s penis wriggled at the suction that was pulling him inside as if sucking him in. He wanted to put his penis, which was swollen so tightly that it felt like it would burst, into this inside right away. He wanted to shake his waist as much as he wanted, like crazy. But the fact that he was still holding back could only be explained by the power of a love that was close to a miracle.

A deep breath.

Three fingers, then soon two more, a total of three, forced their way in.

“Puh… euheuheueung… hueue, heuk.”

Lee Hyun spat the glans out from between his lips. Rau’s penis, flung away, swayed wildly. The column of flesh, kicked up by the recoil, slapping Lee Hyun’s nose bridge and eyelids, teetered this way and that before soon standing erect on its own. Pre-cum mixed with saliva dripped thickly between his lips and the glans.

“Heueueungeung… heueuk, eung….”

As something entered his anus, which had been sufficiently opened since the bathroom, Lee Hyun squeezed his rear end wildly with satisfaction. It was instinct. Forgetting to caress Rau’s genitals, he twisted his waist and shook his hips while lying on Rau’s crotch.

“Eueue, eung… heuk… aheu, heu… heueuk.”

He sobbed imploringly, rubbing his cheek against Rau’s pubic hair. The root of the penis touched his nose bridge. Smelling it and seeing its shape with his eyes, his body was aroused again. He wanted to suck it, wanted to touch it, wanted to taste it with his tongue and lips. He repeatedly lunged at it, licking the shaft with his tongue, then collapsing again from the pleasure of being penetrated from behind.

“Haeu! Heuk! Eu!”

With a short, cut-off scream, Lee Hyun collapsed once more on Rau’s crotch. Thud, thud, thud, thud, thud. Using his wrists, forearms, and even his biceps and triceps beyond his elbows, Rau was pressing down on the inside of Lee Hyun’s stomach with the strength of his entire arm.

“Heuheung! Eung! Eung! Keuk! Heuk!”

Each time Rau’s arm bulged, Lee Hyun’s body lurched. As if someone was pushing him from behind. Lee Hyun even lowered his head to check below, wondering if his forearm was really pushing in all the way to his elbow. That’s how much force there was.

Even so, Lee Hyun didn’t try to close his legs or stop Rau. Rather, he lifted his hips higher, rubbed his cheek against Rau’s penis, and rubbed his lips against it. It was the Pheromone effect.

Rau, seeing, hearing, and feeling all of this from Lee Hyun, was also going crazy.

Each time he plunged the clump of fingers in, the love nectar that had pooled so abundantly splattered everywhere. Droplets of love nectar were scattered on Rau’s forehead and eyelids, cheeks, lips, collarbone, and chest.

“Mi… going crazy… hageuk, keuk!”

For a moment, the flesh of Lee Hyun’s buttocks trembled. With a gush, another large burst of love nectar flowed down Rau’s veined arm, all the way past his elbow.

Flames practically shot from Rau’s eyes. Without removing his fingers, he lifted the back of Lee Hyun’s head and lunged at the hole. Like a beast that had finally obtained a bowl of water after wandering in the scorching sun, he fixated on Lee Hyun’s bottom. He licked greedily around the hole that was being violated by his fingers, rubbing it as if to crush it with his entire tongue. He scraped the surrounding flesh with his lower teeth and sucked, slurp, slurp, sucking it in. Red scratches were quickly left on the tender skin.

“Eueueung, eung. Haeut, heu. Aheung.”

Being strongly violated in his anus at the same time as having that place caressed by a tongue and lips was too much to handle. Lee Hyun became afraid that not only his bottom hole, but also his genitals, perineum, and lower abdomen, his entire lower body, might melt away.

“Heueue, heu. Aheu, eu, heuk….”

Lee Hyun instinctively began to crawl forward.

“Aeuk!”

But it was no use. Long, firm arms, having removed their fingers from his hole, soon wrapped around Lee Hyun’s thighs and pulled him back. He grabbed the sheet and twisted it as he collapsed onto the mattress, but he was helplessly dragged along, stretched out at full length.

“Eueung!Rau’s high nose bridge was buried in his butt crack, and his lips, exhaling hot breaths, sucked, sucked above the throbbing hole. The smooth tongue brutally crushed the space between the cheeks.

Lee Hyun’s fingertips caught on a pillow as he reached out and flailed his arms, searching for something to cling to. Lee Hyun hugged it tightly and buried his face in it.

“Seueueup. Hueue.”

Rau buried his face in Lee Hyun’s butt crack and took a deep breath. As if savoring it. Then, blue, blue. He shook his head from side to side in that state. Rau felt ecstasy between Lee Hyun’s buttocks, which trembled from side to side.

“Haa… I could play here all day.”

“I don’t… like that….”

Lee Hyun’s voice was muffled because his face was buried in the pillow.

“You do like it.”

“It’s not that….”

“…….”

“I want something else, something else.”

“Something else? Like what?”

Knowing full well that he meant he wanted his penis now, Rau deliberately asked again. A mischievous yet sexual smile spread attractively across his lips.

“What do you want, Lee Hyun-ah? I should give you anything that Hyun-i wants.”

Looking up at the back of his lover’s head, which wasn’t showing his face, Rau licked the curve of his bulging buttocks with his tongue.

“I don’t really know. Teach me. What does Seo Yi-hyun want right now?”

“……knotting.”

“…….”

Rau doubted his ears. He slowly lifted his head from between the prone buttocks. He was no longer smiling.

When Rau had visited the East Sea alone at Lee Hyun’s request, he had explained to Lee Hyun’s father that his son would probably become an Omega before the year was out.

It was a plan they had made together with Lee Hyun. To that end, they had continued knotting and Changing every time they met.

But after that, the plan had unexpectedly changed.

The two were planning to move to Bali, Indonesia, together when Lee Hyun left The Hands. But Lee Hyun ended up staying at The Hands a little longer than expected.

Currently, Lee Hyun was about 80% Manifestation. After discussion, the two decided to temporarily suspend Changing. The remaining 20% was planned to be completed after moving to Bali. It was a decision to prevent Lee Hyun from fully Manifestation while they were not living together.

So, for 40 days, even though they met each other every day and had penetrative sex 4-5 days a week, Rau never once knotted. It wasn’t because he didn’t want to. He was holding back with all his might.

Each time, he entered Lee Hyun while holding the root of his penis with three fingers. Because if he deeply inserted Diamond Dust and shook his waist as much as he wanted, he would never be able to control himself.

Once he entered in that state, he couldn’t avoid knotting and Changing. Since it was impossible to control Changing while knotting Didi, knotting Lee Hyun meant both knotting and Changing.

But now he was asking him to knot him.

Rau straightened his upper body and lifted his arm to roughly wipe his face.

No way. He must have said it because he was excited from the Pheromones. Like a kind of dirty talk.

He stroked the buttocks that rose dizzily even while lying prone, and ran his hand over the slender waist and clear back ridge, going against the grain. He massaged the balanced shoulders before gently pulling them. As Rau led, Lee Hyun obediently turned over.

“…….”

“…….”

Lee Hyun’s face, turned over and lying down, was clearly intoxicated by Pheromones, but he was looking at Rau with proper focus.

That didn’t mean he could do as he said. Rau picked up a towel that was soaked with Lee Hyun’s love nectar and had completely changed color. Finding a spot that wasn’t yet wet, he wiped the love nectar from his face and smiled.

“The pre-cum I squeezed out in the bathroom was useless.”

And he playfully changed the subject.

Lee Hyun pressed his lips tightly together and only looked up at Rau. He had a dissatisfied, resentful expression, but Rau pretended not to see it. He brought another towel that was crumpled messily on the sheet and carefully spread it out under Lee Hyun’s buttocks.

“Are you going to keep looking sulky like that?”

Taking his place between Lee Hyun’s legs, Rau glanced at Lee Hyun with his eyes raised. And he leaned forward and stroked his lover’s sleek chin.

“Give me a smile with that handsome face. Huh?”

“What. Kun is the one who’s handsome….”

“I’m the type who’s never been called a pretty boy, even in middle and high school.”

If Rau was a classic and textbook handsome man with a clear masculine charm, Lee Hyun was a modern handsome man with the freshness of his age.

Thick, jet-black hair, jet-black outer and inner eyelashes, long and clear eyes, slightly stubborn, thick and clearly curved lips, a slender jawline that wasn’t too soft. Long arms and legs that stretched out coolly.

At twenty-five, Lee Hyun was a young man overflowing with refreshing beauty that anyone could see. A handsome appearance, simple clothes, and a shy demeanor that made him even more likable. He had definitely become more of a man than when they first met.

Rau was newly impressed by Lee Hyun’s nakedness, without a single thread on. Stroking the dizzying straight line from his waist without any excess fat to his narrow hips with his fingertips, Rau pushed his glans into Lee Hyun’s body.

“Really… beautiful.”

“Eueue… eung! Haeu.”

Feeling the heavy, deeply embedded hard penis, Lee Hyun trembled from below. Rau leaned his upper body and pressed his crotch firmly against him.

“Haa, haa, hak… hueue… heut.”

Lee Hyun widened his eyes and gasped. He gripped the sheet and slowly twisted his waist from the enormous pressure. The contraction of the hole, regularly twitching as if breathing, swallowing Rau’s thing longer each time it opened and closed, was clearly felt.

Was Rau’s penis actually as thick as his calf? The feeling that his pelvis was being forcibly pried open was so vivid that he thought so. It felt as if his entire lower body was filled with him. But the senses, completely paralyzed by the Pheromones, couldn’t feel any pain even while receiving the Alpha’s huge thing.

How could I, who had no experience and was a Beta, have been able to receive this penis all the way to the root in my first experience with Rau? Why was I, who had been so indifferent to sexual matters, so active from the beginning in bed with him? How could I have not had a single torn wound even with the Alpha’s knotting, which a Beta could never withstand?

Now I know the reason for everything.

Because it was Didi.

Because I wasn’t smelling his cologne, but drinking his Pheromones.

Suuuk, The penis, slowly retreating, Puh-wook, was suddenly thrust all the way in.

“Haeu! Heuk!”

Lee Hyun opened his jaw and screamed. The sensation of the love nectar that had been pooling in his stomach being pushed out of the hole as much as the penis had entered was vivid.

With it fully inserted, Rau took several deep breaths. And he pulled the penis back a little and wrapped his fingers around the root. Slosh, slosh, slosh. As the foreplay had been long, he soon moved violently.

“Haeueue… heueuk, gi, gipeu, deep….”

Lee Hyun was suffocating from the rapid panting of the shaft violating his insides and the dense concentration of Pheromones.

“Here, do you know?”

With the hand that had been holding Lee Hyun’s side, Rau stroked Lee Hyun’s lower abdomen, lower than his navel, with his fingertips. Very preciously. While tearing at the edge of the pillow, Lee Hyun tried to make eye contact with Rau. Even while sweating profusely, Rau was smiling.

“Eueung… heueuk! Hak! Aheu, heu….”

“Hyun-i’s Triangle Zone is growing inside here.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t react because he didn’t know what the Triangle Zone was. Rau explained it once more easily. And he laughed awkwardly.

“Haha… Of course, this is only if Hyun-i wants it.”

“Waeoeheu, why… do you… say that.”

“…….”

“Of course, I want it too.”

At that moment, Rau’s penis swelled suddenly inside his stomach. The speed at which he had been shaking his waist back and forth slowed down. Lee Hyun placed his hand over Rau’s hand, which was touching his stomach.

“I want to see it.”

“Our baby?”

Rau forced a smile with his sweaty face.

“Awi’s Snowball.”

“…….”

Rau’s hip movement stopped completely. The smile that had been on his sweaty face also disappeared.

With his eyes locked on Rau’s, Lee Hyun’s right hand went down. He caressed himself between his legs, the point of intersection where Rau’s penis was inserted. Each time he rubbed with force, Lee Hyun’s bare shoulders moved slowly up and down. He looked like an aroused Omega, masturbating himself. Rau couldn’t take his eyes off his ‘Omega.’

Didi, who had the Triangle Zone to have a child with him inside his stomach, commanded.

“Make me an Omega here.”

“We promised. We’ll continue again when we go to Bali.”

“Do it now….”

“Do you want to make me that kind of guy?”

“What kind of guy?”

“……A guy who’s gone mad from your Pheromones and forcibly turns you into an Omega.”

Lee Hyun was silent for a moment, only looking up at Rau. He was about to finish the conversation by saying, ‘Come to think of it, you don’t want to make me that kind of guy, do you?’

“What if I do?”

“…What?”

Rau frowned without realizing it.

“I said I want to make Awi that kind of guy.”

Lee Hyun, saying that, didn’t seem to hesitate at all.

Inside Lee Hyun, Rau’s penis twitched. As if it was about to knot right away. He couldn’t tell if his heart was beating in his chest or in his penis. It was clear that Lee Hyun’s shocking statement was arousing Rau’s instincts.

It was Rau who averted his gaze. He ran his palm over his face and shook his head.

“Don’t say things like that when you can’t handle it.”

“Kun knows that I’m not the kind of person who says these things when I’m caught up in the moment.”

“You know that this isn’t right either.”

Rau immediately regretted speaking a little harshly. He took Lee Hyun’s hand, which had been overlapping his own, and leaned over to kiss the back of his hand.

“If you Manifestation alone when I’m not there, or if you even get Pheromone shock… I can’t stand that, Lee Hyun-ah.”

With his head deeply lowered, Rau buried his lips in the back of Lee Hyun’s hand.

“You said it’s still 80 percent… that I’m okay. Marcus too.”

“There can be exceptions.”

“Kun, look at me.”

“…….”

Rau, who had lifted his face with difficulty, looked pained. Lee Hyun reached out with his other arm towards him. With a small sigh, Rau leaned his upper body further. Lee Hyun wrapped his arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. So that their chests were completely touching each other. Stubbornly, Rau’s left hand was still holding the root of his penis.

Burying his lips in Rau’s ear, Lee Hyun whispered in a cracked voice.

“I’m different from then now. I’m ready.”

“Lee Hyun-ah….”

“So, change me.”

For some reason, Rau got goosebumps. His heart and eyes suddenly grew hot.

Lee Hyun’s right hand swept down Rau’s side. Squeezing between their touching lower abdomens, he gently grabbed Rau’s hand, which was holding the root of his penis. And he released each finger one by one.

“…….”

Rau didn’t stop Lee Hyun any further. Silently, he put his right arm behind Lee Hyun’s neck and hugged his shoulders.

Finally, all his fingers were released, and Lee Hyun hugged Rau’s broad back.

Deeply. Deeper than ever before. All the way to the end without any shackles. Rau pushed his genitals completely into Lee Hyun’s body.

“Haeueueue… haa… heueuheuk.”

Lee Hyun’s slowly exhaled breath trembled finely. Pheromones spread from that breath. Rau turned his head and kissed Lee Hyun’s cheek, which he was hugging in his arms. And he began to go in and out of Lee Hyun’s insides without any hindrance.

It wasn’t a special position. He was just trying to stick together a little more, to be connected more. Their lower bodies, lower abdomens, chests, four arms, and four legs were tightly intertwined. So tightly that no one could untangle them. With that, only the lower body of Rau, who was lying on top while hugging each other tightly, panted back and forth in the dim moonlight.

Rau freely unleashed the instincts of an Alpha and a Ghost. He was as free as a stallion that had broken free from its reins and was galloping across the prairie. He is not denied. He is not alienated. He is finally understood and acknowledged in the arms of the only Diamond Dust.

For a moment, the tips of Lee Hyun’s fingers, which had been hugging Rau’s back, turned white.

“Haeu, heuk! Ku, Kun… it’s co… coming now, it’s coming….”

A feeling like the organs inside his stomach were swelling up.

No, it wasn’t Lee Hyun’s organs that were swelling up. It was Rau’s, the Alpha’s penis, filling every gap in Lee Hyun’s stomach so that not a single drop of semen could flow out.

It was knotting.

Lee Hyun widened his eyes and tried to inhale with his mouth open. He wildly scratched the thick back and shoulders that were covering and pressing down on him. The two legs that had been wrapped around Rau’s waist flailed wildly.

“This… this… keuheu, heuk… keu….”

Thump, thump, thump. Thud, thud, thud.

Like the vibration of a massage gun, like a large speaker playing a symphony at an enormous volume, Rau’s penis, swollen tautly inside his belly, trembled violently. The love nectar pooled between his penis and intestines heightened the sexual pleasure to its peak. Lee Hyun tilted his chin up, his mouth slightly agape.

“G-good… Kun, this is good. I think I’m going to go crazy….”

“Do you like knotting, Seo Yi-hyun?”

“Yes. G-good, hh… ngh!”

“You like it that much?”

“Ahh, nghh! Hnng! Ugh!”

Literally, Lee Hyun was falling apart. He rubbed the back of his head, shrugged his shoulders, and twisted his waist. Those movements directly stimulated Rau’s penis inside Lee Hyun’s belly.

“Hnn… ngh! Hngg! K-keep… ke, keeep going… kkh, ahhk!”

Every time Rau’s penis trembled, climaxes washed over him in continuous waves. The vibration from the knotting felt like it was shaking and turning over not just his belly, but his heart, his brain, his very soul.

“My belly… it’s going to buurrssst, hahk! Hht!”

Rau’s ejaculation burst forth. The intense pressure, as if pounding against his tender organs, felt like it might impregnate Lee Hyun’s still immature Triangle Zone.

Even before his Omega transformation, the pleasure was several times stronger than when he had sex using just his prostate. Lee Hyun screamed like a man on fire, and at the end of his screams, he sobbed and cried. Rau diligently licked away the tears wetting Lee Hyun’s cheeks.

“Kun, Ku… Kuhuhuk.”

His limbs trembling, Lee Hyun sought out Rau.

“Yeah, Lee Hyun-ah. Are you okay? Was the knotting scary because it’s been so long?”

Hic. Lee Hyun swallowed dryly along with his sobs. He blinked his wet eyelids several times, struggling to focus.

“Hnn, hh, huk… I don’t want to part.”

“Lee Hyun-ah?”

“I wish Kun wouldn’t, khuhup, ah, go to Seoul.”

Then he wrapped both arms tightly around Rau’s neck.

“Don’t go. Stay by my side.”

Rau couldn’t believe it. Lee Hyun was always composed in any situation, seemed to want for nothing, and was capable of handling anything on his own. While he found such a partner reliable and felt proud, he was always worried that Lee Hyun might be pushing himself too hard, unable to rely on anyone.

There were occasional childish whims, like asking to trade his strawberry ice cream because the chocolate looked tastier. But he had never imagined Seo Yi-hyun acting emotionally in front of a promise and plan already made. Whining and complaining about wanting to stay together longer, not wanting to go back to Seoul—that had always been Rau’s role.

No matter how soaked in pheromones and driven to lose reason by knotting, for Lee Hyun to act like this… It was so endearing and lovely that it made him feel more pained and sad than happy.

Rau, wrapping both arms fully around Lee Hyun, kept planting kisses on his lover’s crying face.

“I won’t go, Lee Hyun-ah. I promised before, if you tell me not to go, I won’t.”

How can I love you more, how can I exist closer to you?

If you get pregnant, so a child resembling both of us grows inside your belly, will that fill this anguish and impatience a little? Will I feel more connected to you?

He supported the pitifully clinging Lee Hyun’s back and lifted him up. Sitting him on his own thigh, he held him tightly and rocked him as if soothing a child. Lee Hyun, who had been pressing his cheek firmly against Rau’s cheek, sniffled and whispered.

“Don’t go.”

Until my body shatters, until my soul vibrates. With my whole body and whole soul, I wanted to shout. Marry me.

■ ■ ■

Leaning on Rau’s arm, Lee Hyun finished an entire bottle of water and immediately flopped down. He seemed to literally have no energy left to even twitch a finger, to the point he didn’t seem to care about not covering his lower body. Looking down at the moist eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, Rau stroked that cheek with the back of his hand.

“Handsome men have it easy.”

“…What do you mean?”

“Just lying there tired from four hours of sex, yet you look steeped in the melancholy of life and art.”

Pfft. A faint laugh escaped Lee Hyun. Even that seemed laborious. Rau lay down sideways next to Lee Hyun.

With their interlaced hands resting on his chest, Lee Hyun asked as if he couldn’t believe it.

“Were we… like that for four hours?”

“We were. Because someone kept begging for knotting.”

“…….”

As if knowing he had nothing to say to that, Lee Hyun fell silent for a moment. Rau, with his elbow bent and head propped on his palm, tidied the hair stuck to Lee Hyun’s forehead and brushed it back.

“I still have legs, right?”

“Why, do you feel like you’ve become the Little Mermaid?”

“My lower part… feels tattered.”

Lee Hyun, who seemed to hesitate briefly, used a bolder word than usual, as if no other expression came to mind.

“If you say things like that, I might get excited again.”

“No way….”

Lee Hyun raised his arms and covered his face with both hands. He swept his face a couple of times like that, then glanced down. Sure enough, Rau’s penis was still erect. It wasn’t completely hard, but it wasn’t completely soft either. Protruding from the center of his sideways-lying body, it curved downward towards the mattress, unable to support its own weight.

The moment he saw its shape, color, and the blood vessels pushing up under the skin, Lee Hyun’s body stirred again. Unconsciously, his lower part tightened, his mouth went dry, his heart raced. This endless sexual desire was unbelievable even to himself. It’s not like I can say anything to Kun… I’m the same.

But even if his emotions wanted it, it was truly physically impossible now. Lee Hyun pretended not to notice and raised his gaze to look at his face, not the area between his legs.

“I forgot to mention it earlier, but I got a call from Noona when we were at the gallery.”

“Yooni?”

“No, Morae Noona.”

“Ah.”

“She said it seems a good property is coming up in the area we want in Ubud.”

“Really?”

Rau raised his eyebrows, welcoming the news.

“She said there are two buildings. She said it would be perfect if we use the front one as a gallery and the inner building as our home. Noona was really excited talking about it too.”

“I want to see what kind of property it is soon.”

“Me too.”

If they moved to Bali, they could live in the same house, together continuously. Both of them had endured their long-distance relationship solely for that goal. It was a bit later than planned, but now the target was really right in front of them.

But why?

Even though they had endured longer and harsher times, the remaining few months felt dauntingly empty to Rau.

Because he had now learned the joy of daily life with Lee Hyun. The happiness of laughing while looking at him, hugging him, kissing him, with no secrets. The happiness of falling asleep looking at his face and starting the day looking at his face.

Looking down at Lee Hyun, lost in deep thought, Rau slid his index finger along the distinct line of his profile. As he was about to trace over his lips, Lee Hyun’s gaze turned towards Rau.

“Did we tell your parents about us going to Bali?”

“Hmm… not yet.”

Lee Hyun moved his head, adjusting the pillow, and turned more definitely towards him.

“But Kun, you should be the one to keep contacting them first, right?”

“You’re right.”

Only tickling Lee Hyun’s lips, Rau laughed awkwardly, avoiding eye contact.

Because of the incident of Changing Lee Hyun, Rau’s parents had strongly rebuked their son. And that issue remained unresolved between them. They didn’t avoid situations where they had to meet, but the intimacy and warmth that had existed before hadn’t been restored.

“Should I… go visit them once?”

Lee Hyun said cautiously. Rau shook his head repeatedly. Then he pressed his cheek against Lee Hyun’s chest and hugged his waist.

“I don’t want to show you us being uncomfortable with each other over that issue.”

“Are you going to act like a child about it?”

Even as he spoke chidingly, the touch of Lee Hyun’s hand stroking Rau’s hair nestled against his chest was only gentle.

Rau’s parents were weak towards Lee Hyun. It might be due to guilt and a sense of debt towards their Ghost son’s Changed partner, but they also viewed the very nature of the person named Seo Yi-hyun as precious and beautiful.

Especially Suki Kim treasured the strange connection with Lee Hyun immensely. The child she had personally judged and awarded a special prize to in the past had become her son’s lover, and that son and he were the world’s only Ghost and Diamond Dust relationship. She believed it was no ordinary bond.

If the two of them visited together, they could probably restore the relationship faster. Because they were people who could never be cold to Lee Hyun. But thinking of Lee Hyun trying to resolve the invisible awkward atmosphere… Rau didn’t want to put Lee Hyun through that.

Stroking Lee Hyun’s flat belly with his large palm, Rau spoke quietly.

“I know they even went as far as a fake divorce for me, a Ghost, and have done everything to protect me. Changing you… they might feel like it rendered all that effort useless.”

“…….”

“I told them all about what kind of time we spent, how we decided to love again. The whole process. But since they still won’t change their minds… I don’t know what else to do or how.”

Lee Hyun ran his fingers through Rau’s hair, combing it down softly.

“It’s probably less that they’re angry and more that they were shocked. Maybe they just need a little more time.”

“…….”

“But you’ll still try, right?”

“…….”

“You’ll try for my sake too, right?”

Rau lifted his head and looked back at Lee Hyun.

“Look at this. You really have learned how to handle me, haven’t you?”

“So you don’t like it?”

“No way. I wish you’d handle me even more roughly?”

Rau sat up, bent over, and gave Lee Hyun’s lips a short kiss. He wanted more water, but all the water bottles were empty. Getting off the bed, Rau found a relatively less damp towel and wrapped it around his waist.

“I’ll get more water.”

Lee Hyun’s gaze followed him as he left the bedroom. Even with the towel wrapped, his erect front was noticeable, drawing the eye. Because that part alone was sticking up prominently. Lee Hyun knew it would take a few more minutes to subside.

When Rau returned to the bed with new water, Lee Hyun was also sitting up, propped against the pillow. Lee Hyun accepted the new water bottle Rau handed him. He had just finished one whole bottle earlier, and this time he drank half of it in one go.

“What time did you say the flight is tomorrow?”

“Flight? What flight?”

Crushing the empty water bottle in his hand with a crunch, Rau feigned ignorance with a cheeky act.

After returning to Paris together tomorrow, Rau had to return to Seoul the day after. One month after that, a two-week trip to Bali was planned. It was a trip for the purpose of finding their residence and signing a contract in advance. But then, during the knotting earlier, Lee Hyun had told him ‘not to go.’

“The things I said earlier… you know, right?”

“What things?”

“It was because I was acting strange from the pheromones. So don’t worry about it.”

“Hmm… So all that crying and saying you didn’t want to part was just because of the pheromones, is that it?”

Lee Hyun fidgeted with the water bottle with anxious gestures, avoiding eye contact.

“Ku, Kun, you know too. When exposed to pheromones, I become different from usual.”

“Then later, when you become golden, there will be absolutely no crying or having your mind half-blown during sex, huh?”

“I suppose so.”

Rau leaned his upper body forward, bracing on the sheet, and brushed Lee Hyun’s hair behind his ear.

“I’m looking forward to it. The pheromone-less sex I’ll have with Seo Yi-hyun.”

Sex without the powerful aphrodisiac effect of pheromones, only with feelings of love for each other and physical sexual pleasure. Like Betas.

Lee Hyun glanced sideways at Rau. Rau, with that confident expression that said even without pheromones he could make you cry during sex and blow your mind halfway.

Rau pursed his lips and came closer. Lee Hyun pushed those lips away with his palm.

“When I become golden, when Rau acts this annoyingly, I’ll use pheromones so you can’t move a muscle.”

“I’ll just give you pheromones, but not let you touch me.”

“…….”

“Why did you get quiet?”

The words ‘anxiously’ were omitted.

Rau, with a furrowed brow, sighed with a serious and earnest expression.

“If I’m looking forward to even that, then I must be a serious case, right?”

Thump. Lee Hyun leaned his forehead against Rau’s shoulder. And he laughed, suppressing the sound. The vibration of that laughter transmitted directly to Rau. As if they were connected as one.

■ ■ ■

Arriving at Basel Station about 30 minutes early, the two bought a cup of coffee each from a cafe inside the station and moved to the platform.

With both Swiss Railways (SBB) and French Railways (TGV) gathered together, Basel Station was quite large in scale. Lee Hyun held Rau’s hand the entire time they moved through the large station. This was because the day after Changing, Rau’s pupils became cloudy and his vision dropped sharply.

If they moved carefully, it wasn’t to the point of being unable to function, but Rau quietly held Lee Hyun’s hand and followed. Because he enjoyed Lee Hyun’s overprotectiveness, which he couldn’t normally experience. And it was also true that he could barely read things like the letters on the display board showing the platform numbers.

They had to take the TGV to Dijon first. Only by changing trains there could they reach Paris Gare de Lyon.

Arriving at the platform, they put their backpacks down on a bench and looked around. The atmosphere created by the multiple platforms lined up in parallel, the roof, and the connected station building was quite charming.

“Noona, is it okay to talk now?”

Lee Hyun was on the phone with Yooni as soon as he put his backpack down.

“Yeah, I’m actually waiting for the TGV now…. We’ll probably arrive at Gare de Lyon around 3 PM…. No, we have to transfer once. At Dijon station.”

Perhaps because it was the day they were returning from their trip, it seemed like a barrage of questions from Baek Yooni was pouring from the other side of the phone. Rau chuckled silently, and Lee Hyun also smiled back at him.

“Noona, you know. About the gathering tonight, I think we probably can’t make it.”

Finally seizing the timing, Lee Hyun cautiously broached the main topic with an apologetic voice.

They were originally scheduled to attend a drinking party with some colleagues from ‘The Hands’ tonight. But with eyes like this, the evening appointment was impossible. It wasn’t like they could keep wearing sunglasses.

Sipping his surprisingly tasty coffee, Rau absentmindedly shifted his gaze. A family of four was waiting for the train on the next bench. Although he couldn’t see their facial features clearly, he could sufficiently distinguish their apparent genders and overall vibe.

It was a family consisting of a seemingly easy-going couple, a boy who looked like a lower elementary school student, and a girl who looked around middle school age. Rau watched them intently from behind his sunglasses, especially the girl. Because it seemed like her gaze kept glancing towards Lee Hyun.

Pretending to talk to her mother sitting next to her, but the girl’s entire attention was directed at Lee Hyun. He could sense it from the atmosphere.

She probably thinks she’s hiding her interest well. Like most kids that age mistakenly think they’re clever enough to fool adults. But to Rau’s eyes, her gaze was so obvious it was almost blatant, and that’s why it was cute.

Chuckling to himself, Rau brought the coffee cup to his lips.

“No, it’s not like that! If it were, I wouldn’t have said we’d attend in the first place…. Don’t say weird things for no reason.”

Completely unaware of the girl’s stolen glances, Lee Hyun, his face even reddening, was busy hastily making excuses. It was obvious even without looking. Baek Yooni must have teased him again, saying something like, ‘Why? Did you suddenly want to spend tonight romantically alone because Rau is leaving tomorrow?’

“It’s not that, it’s because Kun’s condition has gotten really bad. He has a long flight tomorrow too, so…. I, I don’t know. It’s not that he’s sick… I guess the fatigue piled up because the trip was long….”

Because last night, because I begged, we ended up doing the knotting and Changing he had endured for 40 days three times. So his boyfriend’s eyes have faded white like ‘snowballs,’ so we probably can’t go out. —Lee Hyun was struggling, unable to say the truth like that. Meanwhile, the girl’s interest remained fixed on Lee Hyun throughout.

Lee Hyun’s clean and neat face, his seemingly plain but stylish clothes thanks to his great physique, his neat and long fingers holding his phone, and his calm and pleasant voice speaking in a mysterious foreign language. Probably everything about Lee Hyun was making her heart flutter. Rau could fully imagine how Lee Hyun looked in her eyes.

‘He’s the type that’s especially popular with people around that age.’

Rau smiled secretly, feeling more proud than jealous. There was no malice in her shy yet curious eyes. Of course, it would be a different story if she tried to approach Lee Hyun aggressively.

“You’ve become more mischievous while I haven’t seen you, Noona.”

Lee Hyun, who had finally finished his call, looked exhausted.

“I couldn’t tease you for 40 days. You’ll have to be prepared when we get back, okay?”

Lee Hyun agreed to Rau’s joking words. But Lee Hyun, nodding and smiling, was missing her. Rau could tell. She knew that Lee Hyun had precious relationships besides her. She was mature enough to feel relieved and grateful for that, rather than jealous, which was very fortunate.

The train arrived on time. The two threw away their empty cups and boarded the train.

Their first-class seats were on the second floor, so they climbed the stairs with their bulky backpacks. They packed as lightly as possible, but it was difficult to be sleek with backpacks for a 40-day trip.

The inside of the first-class cabin was empty. Only four or five passengers were sparsely seated. They took off their backpacks, tied them securely on the storage shelf, and took out only their tablet PC. Then, they went further inside to find their assigned seats. Even though it was just a hallway with no obstacles, Lee Hyun, leading the way, reached for Rau’s hand and moved slowly.

A group of passengers was just entering the cabin from the opposite side. It was the girl’s family. Again, she seemed happy as soon as she spotted Lee Hyun. Even though Rau couldn’t see her expression clearly, her face kept turning this way.

“Kun, it’s here.”

Lee Hyun, about to sit down, looked around while standing.

“Why? Looking for the bathroom?”

“I’ll be back in a bit. Kun, you stay seated.”

“I saw it when we came in, and it doesn’t look like there’s a bathroom this way. Go that way.”

“Is it okay if I leave my seat?”

“Huh?”

Lee Hyun, about to move, looked up at Rau with a worried face.

“I’m not that invisible. You know. I’ll sit quietly and wait, so go.”

It had been a long time since they had stopped knotting and Changing, so Lee Hyun’s overprotectiveness was also a welcome change. Rau stroked Lee Hyun’s cheek affectionately to reassure him.

Over Lee Hyun’s shoulder, the girl came into view. The family had chosen a four-seat arrangement facing each other, which was very close to their seats. Rau could see her general expression from that distance. Even while sitting, she kept looking up at them.

“Lee Hyun-i.”

“Yeah?”

Rau called out to Lee Hyun, who was turning towards the entrance. She wrapped her arm around Lee Hyun’s waist, pulled him close, and gave him a short kiss. Lee Hyun’s eyes widened. He smiled in embarrassment and then burst out laughing.

“What was that all of a sudden?”

“Just because. I wanted to kiss you.”

Did Rau’s unexpected and unprovoked kiss take his strength away? Lee Hyun didn’t look around or scold Rau. Instead, he kept chuckling as if he couldn’t help it. Rau smiled back, grabbing Lee Hyun’s hand as he playfully pushed her chest.

Rau held onto Lee Hyun’s hand until the last moment as he walked away, reluctantly letting go. Lee Hyun shook his head with a smile-filled face and left the cabin.

The girl had been watching this whole time. She didn’t seem disappointed that Lee Hyun had a partner. Only the color of her curiosity had changed slightly.

Rau was sure. With the kiss just now and the atmosphere between them, Lee Hyun had become an even more mysterious being in her eyes.

An exotic and attractive young man met on a boring autumn train trip with her family, and the playful yet sweet kiss he shared with his same-sex lover. This scene would remain in her mind like a vivid and beautiful photograph. Perhaps even more beautiful than reality.

Rau, watching Lee Hyun’s retreating figure, sat down in her seat with a satisfied feeling. She opened the small table and unfolded her tablet.

When they returned to Seoul, pending tasks awaited. Preparations for moving to Bali and establishing a new gallery and organization also had to begin in earnest. But all the work didn’t feel burdensome. On the contrary, she was more motivated than ever. Because it was the new life she had been waiting for so long, starting with Lee Hyun.

“Don’t go. Stay by my side.”

Rau’s expression suddenly hardened as she skimmed through the work email Kwon Juhan had sent. Even though he was intoxicated by Pheromone, Lee Hyun last night was really unlike himself. Perhaps she was missing some important change happening within Lee Hyun?

Rustle.

At that moment, a pink object was suddenly thrust in front of Rau’s eyes. Rau, lost in thought, reflexively looked up. A sheepish-looking Lee Hyun was standing next to her seat. Rau’s gaze returned to the pink object.

It was a mouse-shaped jelly.

“What… is this?”

Rau, accepting it in a daze, hesitantly got up from her seat. She continued to feel bewildered as she moved aside so Lee Hyun could sit in the window seat.

“I was worried you couldn’t eat it because of me.”

“……”

“I saw them selling it at the store earlier.”

Lee Hyun, plopping down in the window seat, scratched the back of his neck awkwardly and avoided looking at her. She thought he was going to the bathroom, but he must have gone to the platform store in the meantime.

Squeak, clunk.

The train began to move.

“If you can’t eat it, leave it. I’ll eat it for you. I’m surprisingly not picky.”

“Ah… Seo Yi-hyun, really. How many times are you going to make me fall for you again?”

“Don’t make such a big deal out of just one jelly.”

His reddened ears were adorable. Rau put her arm around Lee Hyun’s shoulder and pulled him close. She rested her chin on his shoulder, buried her lips in his ear, and whispered almost like a sigh.

“I want to run away with you like this.”

“Why run away? There’s no one chasing us.”

Lee Hyun chuckled in her arms.

“Just because. I don’t want to send you back to Paris.”

“……”

Lee Hyun was silent for a moment. Rau knew what this silence meant. Lee Hyun was a person who expressed his emotions delicately even with silence, as much as he was taciturn. Embarrassed silence, silence containing protest, silence blankly emptying his head, silence deeply lost in thought, and silence to control complex emotions from leaking out. Just like now.

Lee Hyun quietly placed his hand on Rau’s back. And he slowly stroked her broad back as he said,

“We’re going on a trip to Bali soon, so let’s be patient a little longer.”

“Yeah, that’s right.”

“Before this winter ends, I’ll have my life in Paris sorted out, and then… we’ll be together as much as you’re sick of it.”

Rau pulled Lee Hyun out of her arms and playfully bumped their foreheads together.

“I can’t agree with that.”

Seo Yi-hyun, who was reassuring Rau, who was sad about parting, with a dignified manner and only saying the right things. He had undoubtedly returned to his usual self. Therefore, Rau could not have foreseen what would happen the next afternoon.

The train slowly began to leave the station.

Rau tore open the jelly bag, grabbed a mouse by its tail, and picked it up. The pink and white mouse jelly was as refreshing and sweet as its colors.

“Hmm, not bad? As expected… you shouldn’t judge people or jellies by their appearance.”

Lee Hyun shook his head at Rau’s serious evaluation and smiled as if he couldn’t help it.

The Swiss autumn was quickly passing by outside the window. It was time to return to Paris, to everyday life.

Diamond Dust Extra 2.

A Diamond is Forever

To be continued in Volume 2

3 – Text/Section

ALDI: A German multinational supermarket chain.

MONOPRIX: A French hypermarket chain.

Monsieur: French equivalent of Mr. in English.

French Christmas greeting equivalent to ‘Merry Christmas’ in English.

Bistro: A French word referring to a casual restaurant that is not too formal.