By Zephyria “I think I saw somewhere that the Vice President doesn’t smoke…”
Lee Hae-sung’s shoulders trembled with a hollow laugh. He lowered his head, sighed briefly, and rubbed the back of his neck with the cigarette in his fingers.
“Saw somewhere…”
Lee Hae-sung mulled over Yoon Hye-an’s words in his mouth.
Even if it wasn’t recorded on Wikipedia, my smoking history isn’t a hidden story known only to a select few. Due to circumstances, the image of a ‘model third-generation chaebol’ became fixed, and I was occasionally mentioned as a model student who even succeeded in quitting smoking.
However, it didn’t seem like the reason model student Lee Hae-sung became known as a non-smoker was because he ‘happened’ to see it somewhere. For someone who knows conversations shared only between Choi Hong-seo and himself, is it a big deal to know a little about his smoking habits? It wasn’t surprising anymore.
Lee Hae-sung lifted his lowered head and stared intently at Yoon Hye-an.
“Is that so? I heard that Yoon Hye-an is a tremendous heavy smoker.”
“……”
“You don’t smoke after losing your memory, do you?”
Like Choi Hong-seo.
That part was omitted.
Lee Hae-sung watched Yoon Hye-an, who couldn’t answer, for a moment before turning his head back to the window. Beyond the car window driving along Gangbyeonbuk-ro, Seoul’s night view shimmered over the Han River.
Bringing the cigarette to his lips, Lee Hae-sung thought.
Just how much does Yoon Hye-an know?
Perhaps that is what he is most curious about right now. Whether Yoon Hye-an is lying about not remembering himself, how he found out about Choi Hong-seo and himself, for what purpose he is imitating Choi Hong-seo… More than those things, what he is most curious about right now seems to be that.
“It was difficult to quit, though.”
Keeping his gaze fixed outside the car window, Lee Hae-sung impulsively began to speak.
“My mother passed away first, and not long after, my father also passed away… It was after that I properly finalized the divorce. I quit around that time.”
Lee Hae-sung’s voice, continuing the same story he had told Choi Hong-seo, was hoarse. Perhaps, and with high probability, a story Yoon Hye-an might already know…
He swallowed dryly with difficulty, his throat constricting, and said.
“I had been smoking since high school, so it wasn’t easy to quit.”
“……”
“It was almost the only deviation for a model successor.”
This time, there was no intention to test Yoon Hye-an.
He simply wanted to go back to that time. He wanted to experience that moment again, to immerse himself in that moment. He wanted to have the same conversation as back then, as if playing a role. He wanted to dream.
This time, he hoped Yoon Hye-an would say it.
‘You did well. Smoking is bad for your health.’
That, the words that child had said to him then.
However, no words came from the seat beside him.
Until now, Yoon Hye-an had imitated the words that child had said several times. He had done it many times already, so why wasn’t he doing it this time? What meaning did it have now, whether it was the second or third time?
Lee Hae-sung tapped the cigarette, which had only grown in ash without being smoked, on the ashtray. His hand showed a hint of nervousness.
Yoon Hye-an, who remained silent, had his head bowed so low his chin touched his collarbone. His ears, neck, and face were all red. It wasn’t the redness of shyness or embarrassment. He was trying hard to suppress and control some emotion. His cheeks twitched, and his Adam’s apple bobbed up and down.
Lee Hae-sung’s gaze shifted lower. Yoon Hye-an’s knuckles, gripping the thigh area of his pants tightly, were white.
If it had been before, he would have thought even this behavior was all calculated. But now, it didn’t seem that way. He didn’t seem like someone who would go that far. What does he know so much about… Or, because he keeps imitating Hong-seo, does he now overlap with Hong-seo? Huh?
Smiling wryly at himself, Lee Hae-sung deeply inhaled the filter of the shortened cigarette.
As the car left Gangbyeonbuk-ro and entered Hannam-daero, Yoon Hye-an finally spoke.
“You quit with such difficulty, why… are you smoking again?”
“……”
“It’s bad for your health.”
Lee Hae-sung, who had already put out his cigarette and was lost in other thoughts, slowly turned his head again. The redness on his face had subsided, but Yoon Hye-an still wasn’t looking this way.
“You probably know why I started smoking again, Yoon Hye-an.”
“……”
“Don’t you?”
“……”
“Ah, are you going to talk about evidence again?”
Yoon Hye-an, whose lips moved as if to say something, slyly turned his head out the window. From this side, only a part of his cheek was visible.
Lee Hae-sung, in a moment, grabbed his shoulder without realizing it and pulled him. The person whose body was turned looked at Lee Hae-sung with a surprised and bewildered expression.
Lee Hae-sung himself was just as surprised and flustered.
His hand had reached out before he even realized it, the thought flashing through his mind that he looked like he was about to cry while looking out the window.
But Yoon Hye-an, when he turned, wasn’t crying. His face looked like he was about to cry, but he wasn’t crying.
Lee Hae-sung’s gaze scattered erratically. The hand that had been gripping Yoon Hye-an’s shoulder tightly slowly loosened its grip.
Yoon Hye-an’s eyes were asking the reason for the sudden action, but coincidentally, there was no word he could give as an answer. He couldn’t say that he wanted to check if he was crying.
Lee Hae-sung’s hand, awkwardly withdrawn from Yoon Hye-an’s shoulder, fumbled and searched for the cigarette pack again. As if looking for an excuse.
“Near the hotel… which way should I go from there? Should I go down towards Gyeongnidan-gil?”
While Yoon Hye-an, who had taken out a cigarette, merely fiddled with it in his hand, Yoon Hye-an answered in a rather firm voice.
“Just drop me off near the hotel.”
“I’ll drive you to your door, why.”
“Somewhere around here is fine. We’re almost there.”
Checking outside the window, the H Hotel building was now visible on the left. Even the neighborhood he lived in was the same as where Choi Hong-seo’s accommodation had been before.
He had walked along Soreal-ro with him near here and taken him to his accommodation. He had researched where Choi Hong-seo lived in advance and memorized the route. It was a stalker-like act, but he wanted to escort him smoothly.
Yoon Hye-an lived in that neighborhood.
Lee Hae-sung didn’t like Yoon Hye-an’s actions, as if he was about to get out of the car immediately, leaning away from the seatback and fiddling with his bag. It made him feel constantly uncomfortable.
“Um… If you go straight at the three-way intersection, then stop right at the crosswalk…”
“Are you not telling me where your house is because you don’t want to?”
He interrupted Yoon Hye-an, who was leaning his upper body towards the passenger seat and explaining the route to the driver.
“Don’t you think I can easily find out Yoon Hye-an’s home address if I wanted to?”
“That would be a violation of personal information.”
“……”
While observing, he complained with a sullen face. Even that unexpected moment of boldness reminded him of that child.
‘I won’t cry, but I might get angry.’
‘I didn’t make a cute face.’
Choi Hong-seo’s unique way of speaking, which became stiff out of shyness rather than actual anger, had made Lee Hae-sung happy.
“Where did you learn to speak like that?”
It was in a tone as if scolding a child who had learned bad things. Yoon Hye-an pursed his lips tightly and tried not to make eye contact with Lee Hae-sung. Even this stubbornness reminded him of that child.
“Vice President, what should I do?”
When the light changed, the driver in the driver’s seat asked in a troubled voice. Before Lee Hae-sung could answer, Yoon Hye-an stepped forward and pointed to the crosswalk ahead.
“Stop there, at the spot I mentioned earlier! It really is there!”
Since Lee Hae-sung gave no other instructions, the driver stopped the car there.
“Thank you for the ride. Goodbye.”
Yoon Hye-an, clutching his bag tightly against his lower abdomen and bowing his head, got out of the car as if fleeing.
Whether going to Hannam-dong or Seocho-dong, they would have to go further ahead and make a U-turn. Leaving Yoon Hye-an, who was waiting for the light to change, behind, the car slowly started to move forward.
Lee Hae-sung did not look back. Lost in thought, he said in a dry voice.
“Drop me off at the next signal. I need to walk a bit.”
“Understood.”
As soon as Lee Hae-sung got out of the stopped car, the attendant immediately followed. The attendant took Lee Hae-sung’s jacket from the back seat and quickly followed him.
“Vice President, the temperature is quite low. You should wear an outer layer…”
“I’m just going to smoke a cigarette.”
Refusing the outer layer and sending him away, Lee Hae-sung crossed the crosswalk and stopped in front of the railing.