By Zephyria He was at a table with Director Kang Woo-hyun, the production company CEO, and the lead PD, engaged in a serious conversation. People at other tables were also murmuring about the situation just moments ago, their voices hushed.
“What… was Choi Hong-seo really his sponsor, just like Seonbae Seo Jun-yeong said?”
Park Dong-ha muttered as if to himself. Park Dong-ha was staring intently at Lee Hae-sung at the farthest table.
“I didn’t believe Seonbae Seo Jun-yeong when he said it, but seeing it today, isn’t it undeniable? If that’s not the case, there’s no reason to go that far, honestly.”
Perhaps he had hoped Choi Hong-seo would chime in, but Park Dong-ha’s words, calling him a sponsor, instantly ignited Choi Hong-seo’s anger. He wanted to say something, but even opening his mouth was impossible. All he could do was twist the napkin until it was wrinkled and clench his teeth to endure.
“On what grounds are you calling him a sponsor?”
Instead, Kim Yi-jung’s incredulous, cold voice was heard.
“When a wealthy and powerful person meets an entertainer, isn’t it wrong to immediately assume a sponsor relationship?”
“Ah… well, I wasn’t talking about Actor Kim Yi-jung…”
Park Dong-ha was flustered, busy making excuses. But Kim Yi-jung didn’t relax his expression.
“If one person has wealth and power, it’s always seen as that kind of relationship, isn’t it? Then, if I don’t want to be suspected of meeting someone for money, I should only meet people with the same parental wealth and individual salaries as me?”
There must have been a reason for Kim Yi-jung to be so overtly displeased. When a wound is touched, no one can react rationally. But Choi Hong-seo didn’t have the luxury to think about reasons right now. He was in such a bad state that he couldn’t even hear their conversation anymore.
It’ll be okay. Last time, I endured until Yong-jae arrived. If I can catch my breath in a quiet place, I’ll be lucid enough to leave without causing a scene.
The lights began to dim, as if the movie was about to start. Soon, the movie’s opening titles played on the screen. Choi Hong-seo waited for a little time to pass, then quietly stood up from his seat. Park Dong-ha and Kim Yi-jung looked up, but their expressions were largely hidden in the darkness.
He approached an employee assigned to assist guests with their meals and asked for the location of the restroom. Fortunately, there was a restroom on the rooftop as well.
As soon as he locked the restroom door, he collapsed onto the floor. Clutching the toilet bowl, he vomited the little he had eaten. The floor, the walls, the ceiling, were all melting and warping like a Salvador Dalí painting. It felt as if every pore in his body was squeezing out sweat.
‘Choi Hong-seo was a very important person to me.’
It was an ambiguous statement, yet it implied so much. In front of the person he thought was Yoon Hye-an, he had defined Choi Hong-seo’s significance without being flustered or overly cautious.
‘But now, I can no longer meet him. The process and reasons for not being able to meet him were filled with things that made me unspeakably angry and heartbroken… Do you understand?’
If someone were to lose a precious person due to such processes and reasons, who wouldn’t become sensitive? Who could live with a clear mind? How much time and energy would it take to recover?
And even if a period came when it seemed like recovery, could it truly be considered recovery?
At the time, it felt like the only decision before me.
I had been deceiving myself for a long time, telling myself there was hope, that I could endure, and postponing it, but I realized I had already crossed my limits. All this time, my feet had been treading on empty air.
So… I wanted to let it all go. I thought that if I just let go, the terrible past and the terrible things that would happen in the future would all disappear. I made a wrong decision in a state of panic, unable to think normally.
In the place I left, the few people I cherished were suffering, bearing my absence. I was brought back to this world to see that clearly.
How Lee Hae-sung, who hasn’t let go of Choi Hong-seo, is living in a world where Choi Hong-seo has disappeared. It felt like watching all his suffering as my soul wandered this world.
No, it’s not just a feeling. My soul is indeed wandering this world.
Because he can’t see Choi Hong-seo. If he can’t see me, it’s as if I don’t exist.
Therefore, this surreal experience was undeniably a punishment and a retribution.
Having vomited even clear liquid, Choi Hong-seo barely managed to stand, holding onto the edge of the sink, and turned on the cold water, splashing it onto his face. He splashed it as if pouring it. Yet, it was no use. Irresistibly, his consciousness was being dragged somewhere. It felt as if someone had plunged a hand into his body and yanked out the core that supported his physical form.
His neck snapped, and he collapsed onto the floor.
Lying on the cold tile floor with his cheek pressed against it, Choi Hong-seo dimly realized.
Does my body react negatively when I recall memories and emotions from when I was Choi Hong-seo too intensely? At the ancestral shrine, in Director Kang’s drawing room, and today… Was that why?
He was afraid of losing consciousness. He was afraid that when he opened his eyes again, this moment where he woke up as Yoon Hye-an and could see him would disappear entirely. Or that he might never open his eyes again. That he would return to a state of wandering through space and time without voice or form.
As his eyes, which he had forced open to somehow stay conscious, finally succumbed and slowly closed, he sincerely wished.
Even if it meant a greater punishment, let me remain here, where I can see him.
■
In the hospital room, only the faint hum of the air purifier could be heard. Outside the window, a drizzle fell in the deep darkness.
The structure, with its separate living room and bedroom, as well as the furniture and lighting used, were designed to be comfortable and hotel-like, rather than giving the impression of a hospital. A kitchen was also provided next to the living room, allowing for separate meals to be prepared to suit the tastes of VIPs and their guardians, accompanied by staff.
The Seoul cityscape, viewed from the 19th-floor VIP ward, was submerged in darkness.
There was no news of rain. That’s why the outdoor event was planned.
As dark as the outside was, the glass window acted as a mirror, reflecting the brightly lit hospital room. Lee Hae-sung, who had been looking at the patient lying in bed behind him through the window, let out a heavy sigh and turned around.
Returning to the chair placed near the bed, Lee Hae-sung quietly looked down at the patient’s closed face. The patient was asleep after receiving fever medication. He was receiving an IV drip through the back of his hand due to dehydration from the fever.
Yet, the sweat persisted. Wet hair clung to his forehead and temples.
His crossed legs and tightly crossed arms in front of his chest represented Lee Hae-sung’s continued exclusionary psychology towards the man before him.
But why?
Unlike before, he couldn’t just send this man alone in an ambulance. He couldn’t.
Amidst the awkward atmosphere, as the movie screening was underway, a commotion arose around the table where the youngest actors, Park Dong-ha, Kim Yi-jung, and Yoon Hye-an, were gathered. Yoon Hye-an had been gone for 30 minutes and hadn’t returned, and when they went to check, the door was locked from the inside and there was no answer when they knocked.
The event was immediately halted.
On Yoon Hye-an’s chair, only a napkin remained. It was so tightly wrung that it was covered in wrinkles.
Lee Hae-sung instructed the guests to wait at their tables and told the staff to open the door.
The moment he discovered Yoon Hye-an collapsed on his side on the bare floor, what came to Lee Hae-sung’s mind were not the various misdeeds recorded in Manager Kang’s report.
‘I never say bad things about Vice President.’
It was the resolute and determined expression, exactly like what Choi Hong-seo had said, that filled his mind.
After quietly moving Yoon Hye-an downstairs so other guests wouldn’t see him, Lee Hae-sung followed immediately.
Yoon Hye-an, slung over the shoulder of a sturdy bodyguard, was so hot that heat radiated from him.
‘It seems we need to take him to the hospital immediately rather than wait for an ambulance.’
Whether it was Manager Kang or the bodyguard carrying Yoon Hye-an… In response to someone’s report, Lee Hae-sung nodded and accompanied them all the way to the underground parking lot.
As he reclined the seat and positioned the patient almost lying down, securing the seatbelt, Lee Hae-sung stood still in front of the open rear door of the SUV.
‘Vice President, you need to move aside for us to depart.’
At the urgent voice, Lee Hae-sung got into the car instead of stepping back. It was an impulsive, spontaneous choice, not a decision made through any particular accident process.
He instructed the hospital to prepare a VIP ward, and the patient was taken directly to the 19th floor without going through the emergency room, where immediate measures were taken by the VIP ward physician.
The attending physician, who had said he would return to report in detail, had been gone for 30 minutes. Just as he was considering asking the staff waiting in the living room to check on the situation, the attending physician arrived at the room.