By Zephyria “If you’re anxious, I’ll try harder.”
“……”
“This is an experience that will become a precious memory for us, so let’s not use it as a means to resolve anxiety. Okay?”
His words seemed right. It wasn’t that he was anxious because their physical relationship wasn’t progressing. And even if his anxiety were resolved by sleeping together, it would only be temporary.
This time, he brushed Choi Hong-seo’s hair upwards, kissed his exposed forehead, and said sweetly.
“Be a good boy, okay?”
Clutching the t-shirt on his chest, he nodded diligently. He wanted to be a very good boy for him. He didn’t want to trouble him.
He liked the occasional praise of being a good boy.
It was the kind of compliment you’d give a child, but he’d never even received it when he was a child.
There was no adult who paid attention to a child neglected even by their parents. Although his appearance was eye-catching, a child who wasn’t loved lacked charm in their personality. He was slow to realize that his appearance could be a weapon, and he wasn’t cunning enough to try and gather people’s attention with it.
As an adult, he had silently come this far, carrying heavy secrets and the responsibility for them alone. He was never allowed to be childish in front of anyone. He never complained.
But it was different in the face of his affection. The ingrained determination to bear everything alone melted away, and aspects Choi Hong-seo himself didn’t know—various emotions like wanting, jealousy, anxiety, and reassurance—emerged within him.
Only in the face of his affection, as if treating a precious child, could Choi Hong-seo be a ‘good boy.’
As he rubbed the tip of his shoulder with his arm, he stretched out his other arm and turned off the reading lamp. The room, with its blackout curtains drawn, was filled with darkness.
His skin and warmth, touching him, became all the more vivid. Had there ever been such comfortable darkness before?
In the darkness, Choi Hong-seo could be bold. Brushing his chest through the t-shirt, he listened to his breathing.
“I have a question.”
“Yes, ask away.”
A playful answer came back.
“Did you act like this when you met other people too?”
“Like what?”
“Taking weeks just to kiss…”
He let out a soft chuckle. Even though it was a tiny laugh, it was so close that he felt it all over his body. It was a strange sensation.
“No.”
There was no hesitation in his answer.
“I’m surprised by myself every time these days too.”
“……”
“Is it because of the age difference… Everything feels so careful with Hong-seo.”
That you are an exception. That you didn’t act this way with others.
Just these words could bring so much joy.
After a moment of silence, he pulled Choi Hong-seo’s head closer and kissed his hair. He was truly generous with his kisses. Though not often on the face.
“Are you still anxious?”
“No.”
He answered aloud, not just with a shake of his head. The thought that he wanted to stay alone with him in this darkness and this space made this moment feel comfortable. Strangely so.
“Now that I think about it, ‘Ajussi’ isn’t so bad either.”
“You said you absolutely disliked it earlier.”
“That’s true, but whatever it is, it seems better than Vice President.”
So he really disliked the title Vice President that much. Choi Hong-seo chuckled softly in the darkness. Then he shifted his face slightly and burrowed deeper into his embrace. In the bedroom, where the air conditioner was set to an optimal temperature, his side was as cozy as a nest made of feathers.
“I think you’re sexy, Ajussi.”
“……”
“Lee Hae-sung Ajussi is sexy. I want to kiss Lee Hae-sung Ajussi too…”
“Hearing Hong-seo say that, it’s not just ‘not bad’ anymore. The word ‘Ajussi’ actually sounds really sexy, doesn’t it?”
He wondered if he could even fall asleep in such close contact, but his hand stroking his hair, his regular breathing, the warmth of his shoulder being gently rubbed, the scent and his natural aroma… everything touching him softened Choi Hong-seo’s tension and led him into sweet dreams.
He fell asleep without even knowing when, melting away.
In his shallow sleep, he dreamt of him whispering “I love you.”
■
When he woke up, Choi Hong-seo was alone in the bed.
He had probably left the room very carefully, not wanting to wake Choi Hong-seo.
He had wanted to wake up early and leave together… Choi Hong-seo hurried out of bed. The thought of going to work with the help and farewell of Manager Kang and other employees in this house without him was awkward even to imagine.
Fortunately, it wasn’t yet time for him to have left the house.
He tried calling him to ask where he was, but it didn’t connect.
He paced nervously around the room and then cautiously left. The downstairs was mostly common space, and his private quarters were gathered upstairs, so he figured he should head upstairs first.
He hoped not to run into anyone, but just before exiting the hallway, he encountered an employee. Fortunately, he didn’t greet or speak to Choi Hong-seo. He merely bowed his head as he stepped aside. Choi Hong-seo, who was awkwardly returning the greeting and trying to hurry past, changed his mind.
“Excuse me, do you happen to know where the Vice President is?”
“He’s in the dressing room on the second floor.”
“May I… go see him?”
“Yes, of course.”
“Thank you.”
After exchanging polite bows with the employee again, he headed upstairs without delay this time. He took the stairs two or three at a time.
The dressing room, where he had chosen a tie with him yesterday, was located deep within the second floor. It was connected to his bedroom and could also be accessed from the hallway through a double door.
Knocking a couple of times on the double door, Choi Hong-seo cautiously pushed it open.
“Vice… Ajussi.”
He called out to him softly. There was no one in the small space between the dressing room and the double door.
However, if he listened closely, he could hear human voices from further inside. Choi Hong-seo quietly closed the double door and entered. The door leading to the dressing room was open, and light and sound leaked from within.
“From now on, please have Manager Kang personally take care of Hong-seo.”
It was clearly his voice.
Choi Hong-seo involuntarily stopped in his tracks. He had thought he would be alone, but it seemed he was with Manager Kang.
Should I just leave… While he was hesitating at the open door, nibbling on his lips, the conversation continued.
“Since he seems uncomfortable with the employees being around, don’t be too formal… treat him casually. Make some jokes too.”
“I did make jokes yesterday. Did you find them unfunny?”
“Well, you didn’t give the impression of being a funny person. I’m probably the only one who understands Manager Kang’s jokes, aren’t I?”
Manager Kang, speaking with him, was a little different from the Manager Kang Choi Hong-seo had perceived until now. He could somewhat understand that he was someone who made jokes without a smile, with a blunt and even intimidating face.
Mustering the courage to go inside. The moment he touched the doorknob, he spoke in a slightly worried voice.
“I want Hong-seo to be able to come and go here comfortably.”
“……”
“I want him to like this house.”
“……”
“It bothers me that he seems uncomfortable coming here right now.”
“Yes, I understand. I will pay more attention going forward.”
“Please do.”
“Vice President, I’m asking for confirmation in case I make a mistake.”
Manager Kang didn’t hesitate to ask. His tone was calm, requesting information for practical efficiency.
“As of now, how should I know and serve Hong-seo-gun?”
Even though Manager Kang, who asked directly, was calm, Choi Hong-seo outside the door was more tense. Sweat beaded on his hand, which was gripping the doorknob he had only been holding.
Lee Hae-sung answered immediately, without giving Choi Hong-seo any time to prepare himself. The answer seemed already prepared.
“He’s the VVIP of this house.”
“Understood.”
‘The VVIP of this house.’ There seemed to be a clear definition between the two of them of what that meant. Manager Kang didn’t ask twice.
Choi Hong-seo quietly turned and left the dressing room. This time, he didn’t rush at all, didn’t skip steps on the stairs, and slowly walked through the hallway, stairs, and living room back to the guest room and lay down on the bed again.
In his house, for me to sleep enough, prepare at my leisure, and go to work. That’s what he wants.
Burying his face in the pillow, which faintly carried his scent, he repeated it in his mind.
I am his VVIP.
That one sentence, at this moment, felt like compensation for all the past. A hot tear flowed from the corner of his eye, lying on his side, towards the pillow.
■