By Zephyria “I’ll have them take you straight to tomorrow’s schedule location.”
“You have to leave at dawn. I don’t want to… make you worry.”
I tried to speak calmly, but my voice was subtly strained.
“I’ll get ready and head to work on my own, so you can sleep in and leave whenever you want.”
If I said I’d never thought about sleeping with him, that would be a lie.
But the thought of sleeping with someone I was officially dating was hard to imagine. My imagination always ended at the same scene: on the bed, still clothed, lying beneath him, looking up at him.
Even though I hadn’t expected him to suggest I stay the night, I didn’t want to avoid sleeping with him. In fact, I wanted it.
But he seemed to have misunderstood why Choi Hong-seo couldn’t answer quickly. He seemed to have concluded that I was hesitating because I thought it was too soon for intimacy.
“There’s a guest room, too.”
That statement implied he wanted me to sleep separately.
Even if you stay the night here, we won’t be intimate. So you can rest easy. That was the meaning.
“After spending all this time together, I don’t want to let you go.”
He pressed his lips firmly against Choi Hong-seo’s clasped hand, and with a sweet sigh, he asked, pleadingly,
“Can’t we?”
Even if it wasn’t about sleeping together, Choi Hong-seo felt the same way about not wanting to part. I looked down at the back of my hand, which was almost touching his lips, and then lowered my gaze to answer.
“I’ll contact my manager Hyung.”
“……”
“I’m staying out tonight.”
■
Lee Hae-sung’s bedroom was on the upper floor, where the room for cameras and the movie room were located, while the guest room was downstairs. He followed me all the way to the guest room and personally saw to my sleeping arrangements. Though there wasn’t much to pack, he wanted to do everything himself.
He took a charger out of the drawer and plugged in my phone, then neatly arranged the sheets, tucked under the mattress like in a hotel room, and fluffed the pillow. He also personally handed me pajamas to wear. A simple set of blue-toned striped pajamas.
“I have guest pajamas, but I didn’t want you to wear those. These are mine, will you wear them?”
“Thank you.”
The pajamas, folded neatly like merchandise on display, were light and soft.
“Then, go wash up and rest. The bathroom is attached to the room, so you can wash up there… towels and new toothbrushes are all in the bathroom drawer… Is there anything else you need?”
He ran a hand down his neck, looking around the room. Then, he turned and stood facing Choi Hong-seo.
“Ah… but I don’t feel good about making you sleep in the guest room. Will you sleep in my room? I’ll sleep here.”
“No, this is perfectly fine! It’s like a hotel.”
“It’s not that. You’re my lover, not a guest… I’m uneasy about making you sleep in this room.”
He looked displeased and touched Choi Hong-seo’s hair. Each time his warm hand brushed against my earlobe, Choi Hong-seo’s grip on the pajamas tightened.
His hand moved down, supporting the back of my neck, and his fingertips gently scratched my skin.
“Can’t I sleep here with you?”
“What?”
“Even though it’s the same room, it’s a twin. In the next bed.”
“Ah…”
“Even when men go on business trips, they stay in rooms with twin beds, right?”
He pointed at the two beds placed side-by-side, trying hard to persuade me. But for Choi Hong-seo, it was an unnecessary explanation.
Now that we were officially boyfriend and boyfriend, did we really need such an excuse to share a room?
“I don’t mind at all. Please sleep here if the Vice President is okay with it.”
His hand, which had been on the back of my neck, flinched for a moment, and then his thumb dug into my hair, as if stroking it backward. Choi Hong-seo’s shoulders tensed.
“Then, I’ll be a guest in the next bed.”
“……”
“I’ll go shower too, so make yourself comfortable.”
Perhaps it was because it was late at night. His voice sounded slightly deeper than usual.
Choi Hong-seo was distracted throughout his shower. He was dazed, like someone under a spell. He bumped his elbow against the glass door of the shower stall and dropped his toothbrush twice. He misjudged the amount and squeezed out too much of the expensive, pump-action shampoo.
I knew his words about going to shower were literal and held no hidden meaning… yet, I found myself washing my body more carefully and thoroughly than usual. Because of that, my shower time doubled compared to normal.
By the time I finished drying my hair in the powder room attached to the bathroom, he was already back in the room.
He was sitting on the bed with his back to me, but he turned around when he heard me.
“……”
“……”
He was wearing long pajama pants and a plain black short-sleeved t-shirt for a top. His hair, unstyled after washing, fell softly, covering his forehead.
My heart fluttered at the thought of seeing him in his most private state, so different from any Lee Hae-sung I had seen before.
He, too, seemed to be thinking something similar, his trembling gaze slowly taking in every detail of Choi Hong-seo emerging from the bathroom.
“Ah, well… these are my clothes… they’re a bit big.”
Realizing he had been staring for too long in silence, Lee Hae-sung averted his gaze, got up from the bed, put down the tablet he had been looking at, and hurried towards Choi Hong-seo.
Given the height difference, and the difference in build, his clothes were bound to be loose on Choi Hong-seo. The hem of the pants almost covered his indoor slippers, and only his fingertips were visible from the sleeves. The loose fit made the collar seem unusually deep.
To maintain a physique that looked good on stage, he always paid attention to his food intake. He was already thin, but that wasn’t enough. Since starting his idol career, he hadn’t been able to eat his favorite snacks to his heart’s content. Because of this, Choi Hong-seo, despite being toned from dance practice and exercise, had a very slender build.
“I should have given you the guest pajamas…”
He looked unusually flustered. He didn’t meet Choi Hong-seo’s eyes once while folding the sleeves of the pajamas.
A pleasant scent wafted from him as he approached.
Whether he wore perfume or not, he always smelled good, but the scent right after showering was different. It wasn’t a scent meant for adornment, but a scent of defenselessness and cleanliness, and Choi Hong-seo suddenly felt an urge to hug him.
Not sexually, but with the pure meaning of an embrace, an urge to be close to him.
Instead of hugging him, I pulled up the front of the pajama top near my chest and buried my lips and nose in it. Even if it wasn’t his scent, it was the clothes he wore to sleep. I liked the faint scent emanating from the fabric.
“These are clothes you sleep in, so it’s okay if they’re a bit big.”
“Ah… yes, that’s good then.”
He looked down at Choi Hong-seo, who was smelling the pajamas, but when their eyes met, he looked away again. He was different from the usual Lee Hae-sung.
Was he perhaps conscious of it too?
Even though we were using separate beds, we were going to sleep in the same room. It would be strange not to be nervous.
“It’s already 2 AM. You said you have to leave at 9 tomorrow, right? Shall we sleep?”
He glanced at the clock on the nightstand and stroked Choi Hong-seo’s hair, which still held the warm heat from the dryer. His exaggerated tone and actions were very different from his usual composed demeanor. He was clearly flustered and unsure of what to do. It was a completely unfamiliar and fascinating sight for Choi Hong-seo. As I got onto the bed as he guided me, I couldn’t take my eyes off him.
Finally, sensing my gaze, he asked cautiously,
“Why… are you looking at me like that?”
“Just because. I’ve never seen you dressed like that before. You look much younger.”
“Really?”
Normally, he would have continued the conversation with a playful remark, but he just looked down at his clothes and sheepishly ran a hand through the back of his hair.
He turned on the small reading lamp by the head of the bed and then went to the door to turn off the main room lights. Returning to Choi Hong-seo’s side, he sat leaning against the headboard and cupped Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks. Then, he bent his waist and leaned in close.
Choi Hong-seo unconsciously inhaled and held his breath.
“Sleep well.”
“……”
It was clearly a goodnight kiss. It was definitely a goodnight kiss, but…
Looking at him kissing my hair, not even my forehead, I knew for sure. He had no intention of doing anything tonight. That no matter how long I waited, he wouldn’t come to my bed.
Choi Hong-seo, lying on his side, watched him climb into the other bed and pull up the covers.
This wasn’t his first relationship with a man. He clearly had experience sleeping with men. Yet, if the reason he wouldn’t touch me was ‘to cherish me,’ I couldn’t accept it.
Lying on my back, looking at the ceiling, I clasped my hands behind my head. It wasn’t the posture of someone about to fall asleep. Choi Hong-seo, gazing at his handsome profile, clearly visible even in the dim light, called out to him in a very small voice.
“Vice President.”
“Yes.”
“Can I come over there?”