CNC 183

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As if filmed by a drone, Choi Hong-seo’s vision looked down upon the city from above.

A clear sky, a bustling downtown, traffic jams, ground-level trains. Countless people rushing about. It looked like any other large city, so at first, he couldn’t pinpoint where it was.

The view gradually narrowed towards a specific point.

Amidst massive shopping malls and towering skyscrapers in the city center, a patch of green plants stood out unusually, making it look like an urban park. However, buildings with exotic traditional architecture were noticeable. It seemed like what lay before him was an Eastern Buddhist temple.

Choi Hong-seo’s vision, moving independently of his will, suddenly showed the interior of a car parked in front of the temple. In the back seat, sitting side-by-side, were Jeong Ji-in and his lover. Jeong Ji-in’s lover, and the person he had seen before waking up in Yoon Hye-an’s body. Now, he knew who that person was.

Their conversation reached him. A man named Yi-han spoke, touching Jeong Ji-in’s jacket collar.

“Have a safe trip.”

“Yeah.”

Jeong Ji-in’s voice, as he replied, was terribly hoarse and low. His face was also gaunt. Another man, sitting in the passenger seat, glanced back at the rear seat and said,

“It looks like Vice President is here too. A Cadillac across the street.”

Like the lens of a camera filming a movie. Choi Hong-seo’s vision also turned in the direction the man pointed.

A large, black SUV, with a heavy build, was hidden among the cars trying to enter the shopping mall.

The next moment, Choi Hong-seo’s vision shifted to the interior of that Cadillac. More precisely, it was looking into the interior from directly in front of the rear window. Even pressing his nose against the window, he couldn’t tell if there was anyone inside due to the extremely dark tint, but that didn’t matter.

The man sitting alone in the back seat was Lee Hae-sung.

The moment he recognized him, Choi Hong-seo lunged at the window. But he had no body to lunge with. No matter how much he tried to pound on the window, he had no hands to do so.

It was the same as when he had wandered everywhere, voiceless and bodiless, before waking up in Yoon Hye-an’s body. A maddening fear washed over him. It was a suffocating fear. But without a body, there was no breath to suffocate.

Uncle, Uncle!

He called out with all his might. But it couldn’t even form the smallest whisper.

He was lost in deep contemplation. His extremely gaunt profile was sharp, almost to the point of emaciation. His eyes, gazing down at his hands dangling between his thighs, were empty. They were eyes that saw nothing.

Except for occasionally lifting his shoulders to take a deep breath, he barely moved. His loosely hanging hands were trembling. He looked like someone overwhelmed by sorrow.

Haa…

With a deep sigh, he raised his head and looked out the window. He thought their eyes met, but it was a mistake. He couldn’t see Choi Hong-seo.

His eyes, bloodshot with profound fatigue, were fixed diagonally across the street, towards the temple. His pale, dry lips moved. He was enduring. And finally, unable to bear it any longer, a single tear rolled down his right eye. Soon, he covered his face with his thin hands, veins and tendons bulging, and slumped forward, collapsing.

Only then did Choi Hong-seo realize.

The city was Bangkok, Thailand, and it was undoubtedly the day his body was cremated.

Uncle, Uncle! Please look at me! I’m here, Uncle!

No matter how desperately he called, his voice couldn’t reach him. He had no arms or legs to embrace him and comfort his sorrow. His non-existent body felt like it was being torn to shreds.

Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I should have said let’s fight together, while alive… I’m sorry. Because I wasn’t stronger.

His vision receded, no longer allowing him to see him. Even though he struggled madly, trying not to drift away, trying to stay by his side even if he couldn’t hear or see, it was in vain. He was being pulled away from him as if being dragged somewhere in the vast universe. The sky over Bangkok, as the sun began to set, was filled with a mystical purple hue.

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The scenery he saw as soon as he opened his eyes was different from usual. The atmosphere was dim and cozy, but the ceiling height and finish were not like his home in Bundang. His heart sank. Anxious, he quickly shifted his gaze, searching for Lee Hae-sung.

“……”

This was not the first time he had lost consciousness and collapsed like this. Every time he woke up, it was either in his home’s bedroom or with him by his side. Thinking it would be the same this time, he tried to control his emotions in that brief moment, but standing by the bed was not Lee Hae-sung.

“Who, who is it! Who is it!”

Choi Hong-seo, lying down, jumped up as if having a seizure at the dark figure standing motionless in the dimly lit room, curtains drawn.

“It’s me. Vice President’s escort.”

The man, unfazed, tried to calm Choi Hong-seo with a steady voice, but Choi Hong-seo couldn’t hear him. His fear reached its peak, still caught in the extension of his dream. He raised his arms to cover his face and kicked the blankets with his legs, thrashing wildly and calling for Lee Hae-sung. Just like in his dream.

“Uncle, Uncle!”

He felt like he couldn’t do it now. He couldn’t bear someone other than Lee Hae-sung touching his body, or being in the same space with someone else without Lee Hae-sung.

A strong force gripped both his wrists tightly.

“No, no! I’m not going! I’m not going! I’m sorry! Just a little… I’ll stay here a little longer! Please!”

“Hong-seo!”

“……”

“Hong-seo! It’s me.”

It was Lee Hae-sung’s voice.

Choi Hong-seo stopped struggling and opened his eyes slightly from between his arms covering his face. Lee Hae-sung, with a surprised and worried expression, was right in front of him. Before he could think anything, he simply rushed into his embrace.

“Uncle… sob, sob… Uncle…”

He could call him.

“Yeah, Hong-seo. It’s me. I’m here. You were surprised, weren’t you?”

When he called him, he answered. When he embraced him, his arms embraced him back. This was a miracle. He didn’t know if he had been crying since he had the dream, but tears he hadn’t even realized he was shedding flowed endlessly onto Lee Hae-sung’s shoulder.

“I woke up from the dream, but you weren’t here even after waking up… sob, sob, so…”

“Yeah, so Hong-seo was surprised. I’m sorry. No matter what happened, I shouldn’t have left your side. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Hong-seo.”

To Choi Hong-seo’s clinging, affectionate gestures, Lee Hae-sung gently stroked the back of his head. Like soothing a child crying for a ridiculous reason, he apologized unconditionally, tirelessly, any number of times. Holding onto Lee Hae-sung’s back, Choi Hong-seo’s hands, gripping his shirt so tightly it wrinkled, were trembling.

“No, no. Uncle… is not… at sob, sob, fault…”

Choi Hong-seo shook his head and burrowed deeper into Lee Hae-sung’s embrace. Not just his hands, but his voice was also trembling intensely.

There had been times before when he had lost consciousness, collapsed, and woken up with Lee Hae-sung not immediately by his side. In those instances, it was always the familiar bedroom in his Bundang home, but he had never reacted like this… never.

He wasn’t someone who relied on others like this.

He hadn’t been allowed to rely on others, so he had become someone who didn’t rely on them.

Had he become someone who didn’t rely on others because he couldn’t, or had he not relied on others because he was that kind of person? He couldn’t know. What became clear in this moment was that relying on someone wasn’t always a burden.

He should have relied on him more.

Lee Hae-sung quietly sent the escort away and waited, holding Choi Hong-seo until his trembling subsided. He stroked his back, smoothed his hair, and kissed his temples. He simply waited, silently.

After a long while, Choi Hong-seo began to stir slightly. But still with his forehead buried in Lee Hae-sung’s shoulder, he mumbled and asked,

“Where… is this? It’s not home, is it?”

“It’s a hotel. I was worried that moving home would be too much of a strain on your body with your fever so high.”

“So, we’re not in America yet?”

Lee Hae-sung chuckled lowly, still holding Choi Hong-seo. It was a faint sound, but as they held each other so closely, his laughter resonated through Choi Hong-seo’s body.

“You weren’t asleep for that long.”

Lee Hae-sung lowered his head to look at his lover’s face, kissed the corners of Choi Hong-seo’s eyes, and whispered as if into his ear,

“Shall we go home now? Do whatever Hong-seo is comfortable with. We can have the luggage brought to the airport tomorrow.”

“Can I just stay here today?”

“Anything… Do whatever Hong-seo wants.”

He couldn’t recall hearing such words, even going back to his very early childhood. He had never had the chance to exchange sweet words while dating someone. He didn’t know if all lovers in the world exchanged such words. But what Choi Hong-seo had come to know for certain was that Lee Hae-sung’s words were sincere, and he would actually do as he said. Except for one thing: finding Mr. Lee Jong-ik.

Choi Hong-seo slowly lifted his face from his shoulder. His hands, still clutching his shirt, remained there. Lee Hae-sung meticulously brushed away the hair stuck to his forehead and cheeks.

“You need to eat something to regain your strength.”

He felt belatedly embarrassed about the commotion he had caused, crying and thrashing after a nightmare. He absentmindedly wiped his cheeks with the back of his hand and looked down at his chest, saying,

“Then, let’s have some drinks.”

“Drinks? You’re not feeling well.”

“You know I’m not sick…”

Choi Hong-seo carefully raised his head to meet his eyes and stopped speaking.

His face was even more disheveled than when they had arrived at the hotel. It was as if the one who had suffered from a fever was him, not Choi Hong-seo. Like the face he had seen in his dream just before collapsing.

So shocked and scared, he could only stare at his face. He had only a vague premonition that something was happening, but he didn’t have the courage to ask.