By Zephyria [Even if I don’t remember, what I did doesn’t change, I said that. I was very bad to you before, and yet you always accepted me. This time, give me a chance to help.]
“How… sob, hic… How can I… I, sob, sob, sob, I called Hyung to that place…”
Once the tears started, they flowed endlessly. The resentment and guilt towards Yoon Hye-an, the suffocating fear instilled by Jo Seong-hyeon, all mixed together. The emotions he had suppressed without resolving them, without being able to let them out, erupted uncontrollably.
[Even if you failed to lure the Vice President using me, Jo Seong-hyeon didn’t back down. He found another way.]
Yoon Hye-an’s voice on the phone was calm. It was a side of Yoon Hye-an that Park Dong-ha had never known. Or, had Yoon Hye-an ever been similar to his past self since waking up from his coma? Yet, he couldn’t readily believe the words about losing his memory. It was too difficult to let go of the former Yoon Hye-an.
“I shouldn’t have… sob, I shouldn’t have… taken a sponsor… hic… It was something I shouldn’t have done… Jo Seong-hyeon is right… I, sob, I went looking for it myself… Who can I blame…”
Park Dong-ha was now sobbing uncontrollably, his shoulders shaking. He babbled incoherently, blaming himself, forgetting he was on the phone.
He was confessing the emotions he had carried, trapped in a prison of fear for one pyeong, without telling anyone, to none other than ‘Yoon Hye-an’. He had thought that ‘Yoon Hye-an’ would be the only one he could talk to. Had he ever thought that?
Yoon Hye-an on the other end of the phone listened to Park Dong-ha’s crying for a moment. Then, in a calm but confident voice, he said,
[If you stand a person on the edge of a cliff, and hold a sharp knife in one hand… do you jump? Or do you get stabbed? When asked like that, there’s no choice, is there? What can you possibly choose between the two?]
“Hoo, sob… hic…”
[Jo Seong-hyeon, who threatened you to choose whether to jump or be stabbed, is the sinner. Whether you chose to jump or be stabbed, it’s not your fault. I, too… only realized it when someone told me this, but I now believe that person is right.]
Park Dong-ha was listening to Yoon Hye-an’s words, and as he did, his crying gradually subsided. Like a child crying bitterly, who slowly stops crying upon seeing a new toy waved before them.
Wiping the tears from his cheeks with his palm, Park Dong-ha focused on Yoon Hye-an’s voice as if entranced. His palm, after wiping away the tears, was wet. He rubbed it on his pants and swallowed the end of his sobs.
[A wrong that can be forgiven and undone is a mistake, but a wrong that cannot is a sin. Do you remember your line in our script?]
“Yes, I remember…”
Park Dong-ha nodded and replied in a voice still full of moisture. It was a line he had been practicing just a moment ago, so there was no way he wouldn’t remember.
[Both my past self and your current self, taking a sponsor was a big mistake. Even if no one else was harmed, it was like harming ourselves… a very, very big mistake.]
“……”
[But Jo Seong-hyeon harmed others too. He filmed unconsented videos and threatened people, ruining many lives, and is still ruining them, and we don’t know how many more he will ruin.]
“……”
[I think that’s the crucial difference between a sin and a mistake. No, I’ve come to think that way. Thanks to someone.]
“Sob, sob… hic…”
For some reason, Park Dong-ha started crying again.
Yoon Hye-an hadn’t changed. Not just a little, but he had become a completely different person, someone Park Dong-ha didn’t know. Perhaps it was because of the ‘someone’ Yoon Hye-an was talking about now.
Park Dong-ha could feel that there was no lie or acting in what Yoon Hye-an was saying to him now. Only a relationship where two people truly love each other could change someone like that.
“Sob, hic… I, I’m sorry, Hyung… I believe you now… that you, sob, are a different person from before… hic, that you’ve lost all your memory. I believe it now. That the Vice President and you, hic, are not about sponsors or anything like that… hee, sob…”
[Yes, thank you. Thank you for believing me.]
From the other end of the phone, Yoon Hye-an’s voice, which had been composed all along, also trembled with tears.
[So, trust me one more time, no, trust the Vice President, and let’s hurry and pack your things now. Even if I can’t stop Jo Seong-hyeon, the Vice President can.]
The more Park Dong-ha heard Yoon Hye-an’s voice, trying to swallow his tears and stay calm, the louder his crying became.
[Dong-ha, Park Dong-ha. Are you listening to me? We don’t have much time now. Even if you cry, you have to cry while packing. Okay?]
“Ah, I understand…”
[Put Romeo in his cage. He’ll be looked after at the Vice President’s house until you return.]
After ending the call, Park Dong-ha haphazardly wiped his tear and snot-covered face with a tissue. He was told to pack in an hour, but he didn’t know where to start. The emotions that were still unresolved and spread out made him flustered for a while. Then he spread out his suitcase and started throwing whatever he could grab into it. Summer clothes and winter clothes were mixed, and important items and useless ones coexisted.
In fact, nothing was absolutely necessary. It wasn’t like he was going on a leisurely trip. Park Dong-ha seemed like someone whose only goal was to fill the suitcase. And when the suitcase was indeed full, he closed it and zipped it up.
Romeo, it was time to take care of Romeo.
As if sensing his owner’s anxiety, Romeo had hovered around Park Dong-ha while he was packing. Park Dong-ha sat on the floor and petted Romeo.
“Romeo. You have to stay at the Vice President’s house for a while now. You’re really going to be pampered. You can be good and not be disliked, just like when you were with me, right?”
Whether he knew about the temporary separation or not, Romeo rubbed his body against Park Dong-ha’s thigh and then lay down close beside him.
“Shall I give you one more treat?”
Nyaa? At the word ‘treat,’ the cat immediately reacted. He sprang up from his lying position and perked up his ears. Seeing that, Park Dong-ha managed a brief smile.
He dragged the haphazardly packed suitcase to the entrance and headed to the kitchen with Romeo, who was trotting behind him. As he took out a plastic bag from the refrigerator, Romeo’s tail stood straight up and wagged.
Niyaa.
The cat looked up eagerly, urging him to hurry.
He took out a individually packaged churu from the plastic bag and offered the cut end to Romeo so he could eat it easily. At first, the cat licked it while standing still, but soon he placed his front paws on Park Dong-ha’s hand and became engrossed in eating.
“Is this that delicious?”
The creature didn’t answer this time either.
The homemade treats Yoon Hye-an had left behind the day he came to this house. That night, Park Dong-ha couldn’t sleep, tossing and turning for a long time before coming back to the kitchen. Standing blankly in the unlit kitchen, he rummaged through the trash can and pulled out this bundle of plastic bags again. For some reason, he couldn’t bring himself to throw them away completely. Perhaps he wanted to believe that Yoon Hye-an’s words might be true this time? He didn’t really know himself. He just couldn’t.
The churus he had been giving him one by one were now down to just two or three. As Park Dong-ha stroked the back of Romeo, who desperately pounced on the churu until the very end, his eyes welled up with tears again.
“How do you make them. Next time… I’ll definitely ask Hyung.”
His eyes reddening, enduring so as not to shed tears, Park Dong-ha vowed again.
“I’ll definitely ask and make them for you.”
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