By Zephyria “Any love you give me, Daddy, cannot be bad or selfish… That’s what I mean.”
His left hand, not clasped, reached out and gently cupped his cheek. He felt the warmth of his lips on his hair.
“Yes, I told myself I wouldn’t wait anymore, but I waited. But Hong-seo-ya.”
“Yes.”
“Look at me.”
His hand gently lifted his face. Following his lead, he raised his head.
“I did calculate that if I intervened rashly, the video could be shared immediately. However, just because I didn’t immediately beat Jo Seong-hyeon to a pulp on the spot doesn’t mean I’m going to overlook the things he said to you that day.”
His tone was gentle, and the touch on his cheek was warm. He spoke softly, as if kindly explaining to a child. Yet, beyond his eyes, something was raging.
“Just as Hong-seo doesn’t want to repeat the same choice, neither do I. I regretted it so much.”
His thumb stroked his cheek, then lightly pulled at the edge of Choi Hong-seo’s lips.
“If I had only investigated him, or if I had just had people follow him back then, Lee Seo-kyung would have died before you stood on the 32nd floor.”
Ah… Choi Hong-seo’s lips parted. He took a deep breath through his open mouth. His eyes, looking up at him, trembled.
He had just admitted, in effect, that he had killed Lee Seo-kyung.
Lee Seo-kyung had died from a shooting in Bangkok, Thailand. While Lee Hae-sung might not have pulled the trigger himself, it was tantamount to admitting his own involvement in the murder.
Sweat slicked the palms of their clasped hands.
“But, Daddy… you refused, didn’t you?”
“Refused?”
Lee Hae-sung’s gaze, which had been looking down at Choi Hong-seo’s lips, which his thumb was tracing, met his eyes again.
“My acquaintance, Hyung. Your cousin. When he suggested revenge, you said that personal revenge… was just venting. I definitely didn’t dream that.”
Lee Hae-sung narrowed his eyes, his brow furrowing. The hand that had been holding his cheek suddenly tightened.
“How… does Hong-seo know that?”
“……”
After chewing his lip for a moment, Choi Hong-seo spoke with difficulty. He felt that if anyone would believe him, it would be Lee Hae-sung.
“Before I woke up as Yoon Hye-an… I have some memories. After I died. I had no body, no voice, but I wandered everywhere. That’s when I saw it.”
He could see goosebumps rise on Lee Hae-sung’s neck and the hairs on his face stand on end. His grip on Choi Hong-seo’s hand kept tightening, as if to crush his face.
“…Is it true?”
Choi Hong-seo murmured softly and then eagerly elaborated.
“It was a room I’d never seen before… like a drawing room in your house. Four men were sitting there. I saw My acquaintance, Hyung, first, and then opposite him, you… were there. The other two were strangers, but I knew who one of them was after I woke up as Yoon Hye-an. That the person sitting next to My acquaintance, Hyung, was your cousin.”
“How… could such a thing happen…”
“That’s why I thought you didn’t kill Lee Seo-kyung.”
“Hong-seo-ya…”
His face drained of color. Releasing the hand he was holding, he now cupped Choi Hong-seo’s face with both hands.
“Hong-seo-ya.”
As if confirming that the person before him was truly Choi Hong-seo, he fumbled over his face with both hands. Though his large hands had little room to explore his small, slender face, he was desperate, like someone blind who could only confirm their lover’s face with their hands.
“It’s me, Daddy. It’s Hong-seo.”
Choi Hong-seo placed his hands over his, which were covering his face. He tried to meet his unfocused, wandering eyes with his own.
“How can such a thing happen, Hong-seo-ya.”
Even though he had never doubted that the person inside was Choi Hong-seo, not Yoon Hye-an, and had believed him without the slightest suspicion once he made up his mind, Lee Hae-sung was always newly thrilled by each piece of evidence that made that fact clearer.
“I feel so sorry for our Hong-seo, what god must have pitied him?”
The raging fire in his eyes calmed, and the hands cupping Choi Hong-seo’s cheeks were hot with fever.
“Who is that god, Hong-seo-ya?”
His face drew closer, and he nuzzled his nose against Choi Hong-seo’s.
“Whether it’s God, Buddha, or a fairy… if it’s such a good god, I might even take up religion.”
After exhaling the last word like a sigh, their lips met. Skipping the perfunctory pressing and rubbing, he deeply entered Choi Hong-seo’s lips from the start. His thumb, holding his face, gently pulled his lower lip, and his tongue slipped through the parted gap. The wet flesh sliding into his mouth was wide and strong, proportional to his height. Yet, it wasn’t just forceful.
He scraped and licked his lips with his lips, then filled his mouth with his tongue as if to suffocate him, only to then tickle his palate, the inside of his cheeks, his gums, and teeth with the tip of his tongue. As his tongue curled and pushed into his mouth, Choi Hong-seo’s tongue recoiled towards his throat, and he could feel Lee Hae-sung smile with satisfaction as he pulled his lips apart.
“Mmm, mm… Hmmm… Nn.”
The hands holding his face moved away, reaching behind Choi Hong-seo’s back. Pushed by the force, his body tilted further. As he lay back at an angle on the sofa cushions, his fingers intertwined with his, slipping between his own. The wet palms of their clasped hands stuck together.
“Hhh… Uh, mm. Mm.”
Pressing their clasped hands firmly onto the sofa, he relentlessly explored Choi Hong-seo. He cornered Choi Hong-seo’s tongue and rubbed his own against it.
As his body and mind melted warmly and hazily, making him think of nothing but his kiss, a quiet knock sounded, and the door opened.
“I’ve prepared the tea.”
It was Manager Kang.
Unlike Choi Hong-seo, who stiffened instantly and jumped, Lee Hae-sung, who was sprawled over him, didn’t budge. Glancing at Manager Kang, he deliberately deepened his kiss, holding Choi Hong-seo’s lips, which were trying to pucker shut.
“D-Daddy… Mmm… Nn…”
He tried to push away his shoulder with his free hand to control him, but it was no use.
“I wish you could bring the tea later.” Manager Kang entered the study as if nothing had happened and placed the tray on the sofa table. He was acting according to some unspoken rule of the house, and in reality, both Lee Hae-sung and Manager Kang moved as if the other didn’t exist. However, Choi Hong-seo was not accustomed to the concept of employees. He didn’t think he ever would be. His tongue, which had been melting, hardened, and the space between his legs, which were wrapped around his torso, kept shrinking.
He had never engaged in such an intimate display of affection in front of anyone, not before his death, and not even after entering this house as Yoon Hye-an.
For the first time, Lee Hae-sung was frightening. It wasn’t that he was afraid he would harm Darling. He knew well that he wasn’t that kind of person, and even if he were, it wouldn’t matter if it was Lee Hae-sung. It wasn’t that kind of fear, but the fact that he was in an abnormal state, having lost his composure, that scared him.
Only after Manager Kang left the study did Lee Hae-sung’s tongue slide out of Choi Hong-seo’s mouth. Even after that, he lingered, licking and swallowing the various parts of his lips, nibbling lightly, and seemed unwilling to pull away for a while.
“That’s right. I definitely said that. That personal revenge is just my own venting.”
From a distance where his lips were inches from touching, he whispered, his eyelids lowered. His flushed voice was husky and thick.
“The emails Lee Seo-kyung sent you. It was before I saw them.”
His right hand, still clasped, was gently rubbed. Merely rubbing his palms felt lewd, as if hinting at intercourse. As he writhed from the sensation of his lower abdomen growing taut as if to become erect, he finally stirred and moved aside with a low, short laugh.
“……”
Looking down at Choi Hong-seo, who lay below, gasping for breath, Lee Hae-sung extended his hand. As he took the hand, Lee Hae-sung bent at the waist, slipped his arm under Choi Hong-seo’s back, and pulled him up into a hug.
Swallowing the saliva still filling his mouth, Choi Hong-seo wiped his lips with the back of his hand. While straightening his posture and tidying his disheveled pajamas, Lee Hae-sung poured tea from the teapot into a cup. The sharp sweetness of ginger bloomed warmly.
“It’s ginger tea. They say it warms the body.”
As he took the teacup Lee Hae-sung offered, Choi Hong-seo nodded. He seemed so calm, it was hard to believe he was the same person who had broken free from his usual bounds just moments ago, as if his reins had been loosed.
But that wasn’t the case. The space between his legs as he rose from the sofa was heavy. He was already erect but merely suppressing it. Choi Hong-seo quickly averted his gaze, as if he had witnessed something he shouldn’t have. Holding the teacup with both hands, he blew on the transparent golden tea to cool it.
Tap, tap. Turning his head toward the sound, he saw Lee Hae-sung leaning against the edge of the desk, a cigarette in his mouth, flicking the lighter’s wheel to light it.
Choi Hong-seo forgot to drink his tea, his eyes fixed on the sight. He was thinking, He doesn’t want to show me him smoking.
He inhaled the first puff very deeply, then exhaled slowly. The volume of his broad shoulders and chest expanding and contracting beneath the thin knit was clearly visible.
“I was just smooth, without any scars or bumps.”
His story began like that.
“I even thought there was nothing that could leave a scar on me. I accepted it as compensation for a life I had to walk only the path of duty and responsibility.”
After taking another puff of the cigarette, he dropped his head as if collapsing and ran his fingers through his falling hair, clenching his fist.
“Everyone just expected something from me. Money, status, connections, even sympathy… To them, I was merely a means to realize their own desires. I couldn’t expect unconditional affection from the people I met or my ex-wife either.”
He raised his head and tapped the cigarette on the ashtray on the desk, smiling bitterly.
“Well, it was the same from my side.”
“……”
“I never once thought someone would protect me… It was an arrogant, pathetic life.”
His gaze, which had been cast downwards at an angle, turned towards Choi Hong-seo.
“But a baby, twelve years younger, protected me. Without asking for anything from me.”
“……”
“How could I forget someone who gave me love I had never received?”
The strained smile that had lingered on his face slowly disappeared. And eyes blazing like a fire took its place.
“And how could I forgive each and every one of the bastards who took that person away from me?”