By Zephyria ■
Lee Hae-sung chose a chartered plane for their return flight with Choi Hong-seo.
It was a decision made to avoid drawing attention at LAX, which is frequented by Koreans. Of course, to the public eye, it would appear as the reunion of ARA’s Lee Hae-sung and Yoon Hye-an, a former member of the group ‘Titan,’ rather than Choi Hong-seo, but either way, it was bound to pique the curiosity of a few people, even if minor.
“People won’t think it’s strange just because we were on the same flight,” Choi Hong-seo had half-heartedly objected to using a chartered plane. To him, Lee Hae-sung had replied cleanly.
“I don’t have the confidence to stop at just being on the same flight.”
Then, shrugging, he had added with a composed face.
“You’re next to me for over 13 hours. Do you expect me to just look at you and pretend we just happened to be on the same flight?”
His expression was firm, indicating it was impossible and he had no intention of doing so. Choi Hong-seo raised no further objections after that.
After completing the highly simplified departure procedures in a private setting, the two of them and their entourage boarded the plane without encountering any other passengers.
Sitting on a long leather sofa, Choi Hong-seo turned his body halfway to look out at the airport scenery. The private jet terminal had a more relaxed atmosphere than a typical airport terminal. The vast grounds, which seemed to stretch endlessly beyond the runway, evoked not just admiration but a slight sense of being overwhelmed. The November California sun pouring down on it made his mind feel hazy.
Was everything that happened here just a dream?
While waiting for Lee Hae-sung, who had briefly stepped away, Choi Hong-seo felt an inexplicable sense of unease. Was it because the events had happened so far away? Or was it because the series of events, from reuniting and being accepted as Choi Hong-seo at the
Staring blankly at a group of noisy passengers boarding another chartered plane, keeping a considerable distance, Choi Hong-seo suddenly turned his head back inside.
Behind the main space, decorated like a drawing room, was a second, separate area where Lee Hae-sung’s attendants were seated, and Lee Hae-sung had briefly gone there. Peeking through the open doorway, Choi Hong-seo picked up a glass from the table in front of him and took a sip of champagne.
When he turned back to the window, the same noisy group was still engaged in an enthusiastic photo shoot in front of the plane. Composed of men and women who appeared to be in their early to mid-twenties, they looked very boisterous and happy. As he watched them burst into laughter while checking the photos they had just taken, Choi Hong-seo found himself chuckling involuntarily.
“What are you looking at so intently?”
A gentle hand and voice touched him from above. Choi Hong-seo reflexively looked up. Lee Hae-sung, who had returned without him noticing, was looking down with a soft smile.
“Just…”
“Just?”
“I feel a bit sad about leaving.”
Lee Hae-sung, sitting next to Choi Hong-seo, crossed his legs and picked up his own glass.
“Really? There are good aspects too.”
“Good aspects?”
“The flight here was really boring.”
He tilted his glass, clinking it lightly against Choi Hong-seo’s.
“I have a feeling the flight back will be very enjoyable.”
Choi Hong-seo couldn’t help but agree. They smiled at each other and met his toast. The anxiety had rapidly faded since his appearance. Like morning mist scattering in the warm sunlight.
“Hmm.”
Lee Hae-sung, who had been drinking champagne, suddenly sat up straight from his reclining position on the sofa, as if remembering something. Then, despite wearing a watch himself, he deliberately took Choi Hong-seo’s wrist to check the time. It was the watch with the blue dial he had bought at a select shop on this trip.
“Mr. Choi Hong-seo, we have about 30 minutes until takeoff.”
“……”
Lee Hae-sung’s face was expectant, urging him to give the desired response. But Choi Hong-seo couldn’t grasp the meaning.
“Didn’t you promise to answer before we left LA?”
“Ah…”
“That’s why I waited patiently without rushing you until now.”
Finally understanding the implication, Choi Hong-seo gave an awkward smile and lowered his gaze to the glass in his hand.
The past few days in Malibu had been a continuous stream of sex.
Sometimes they would soak in the pool, go down to the restaurant downstairs for meals, or take walks on the beach, but all other time was consumed by sex. Even the time spent in the pool, restaurant, or on the beach was merely foreplay that inevitably led to passionate embraces.
‘Even honeymoon couples would be more wholesome than us.’
Lee Hae-sung had admitted this while floating in the infinity pool, which created an illusion of being suspended between the sea and the sky, holding Choi Hong-seo. Choi Hong-seo’s arms were wrapped around Lee Hae-sung’s neck, and his legs were wrapped around Lee Hae-sung’s waist. Holding each other tightly, facing each other, they simply floated in the water. They didn’t look at the California sky above, nor the Pacific Ocean stretching out before them. They didn’t take their eyes off each other, didn’t let go of their hands, and barely parted their lips.
‘I’m already worried about returning to Seoul?’
‘Why?’
‘If your tongue isn’t in my mouth for more than 10 minutes, I get withdrawal symptoms.’
At the end of his words, which could be interpreted as either a romantic confession or a lewd joke, Choi Hong-seo laughed as if he couldn’t be helped, and gave him his tongue. A long kiss ensued, and it was immediately after that he heard the proposal to live together.
‘I want us to live together. What do you think?’
Although it was phrased as asking for Choi Hong-seo’s opinion, Lee Hae-sung’s eyes held an intense desperation. It was a desperation so profound that Choi Hong-seo felt this person might die if he refused, which could itself be considered a form of coercion. If it was coercion, it was perhaps the sweetest coercion in the world.
‘It will be hard to hide, and who knows what rumors will spread…’
‘I can handle that much.’
Choi Hong-seo knew that not all incidents and accidents in the entertainment industry were revealed to the public. Moreover, issues involving people in Lee Hae-sung’s position were even harder to spread. Neither industry insiders nor the media dared to touch them carelessly. That was precisely why someone like Lee Seo-kyung could continue his horrific atrocities for years.
‘If you’re not by my side, I won’t be able to bear it, I’ll be too anxious.’
He didn’t force Choi Hong-seo to answer immediately. He simply continued with a deep kiss and caresses, saying he only needed an answer before they left America.
Sitting on the edge of the pool, hugging and running his fingers through Lee Hae-sung’s hair as he bit his chest, Choi Hong-seo had guessed. He wouldn’t be able to refuse his proposal. Of course, he didn’t want to refuse either. But there was a bigger reason. The moment he heard Lee Hae-sung say he wouldn’t be able to bear it if he wasn’t by his side, he remembered Lee Hae-sung running out to the beach, calling for him like a madman.
He didn’t want to make him like that ever again.
“Of course, I want to be with you too, Ajussi. It’s not that I didn’t want to answer because I disliked it.”
“I know, I know.”
“Just promise me one thing.”
“Tell me. What can I promise to bring you to my side?”
Watching him move closer and sit down with an attitude of being willing to do anything, Choi Hong-seo smiled faintly.
“I’d prefer it if you didn’t call me Hong-seo in front of other people.”
His brow furrowed. A handsome face with narrowed eyes and a slightly raised chin, wearing an expression of incomprehension.
“Why should I?”
How to explain this part to him—in fact, Choi Hong-seo had been thinking about it for the several days he had delayed his answer.
“People around you will probably think of me as a replacement for Hong-seo.”
“If you were to say, ‘Actually, this person is Hong-seo, Hong-seo’s soul is inside this person’…”
Choi Hong-seo shook his head firmly three or four times.
“That won’t do.”
“……”
“No one will believe it anyway. So there’s no need to say such things.”
Lee Hae-sung put down his glass and took Choi Hong-seo’s glass as well. Then, he firmly grasped the back of the hand resting on his thigh, as if to cover it.
“Whether they think of me as a replacement in their hearts or whatever, I can make sure no one speaks it aloud.”
“……”
“Not changing people’s thoughts, but shutting their mouths. That’s the least I can do.”
Choi Hong-seo then strongly clasped Lee Hae-sung’s hand, which had been lowered like a sinner’s.
“I don’t care what others say or think, as long as it’s not you. But…”
Choi Hong-seo trailed off, biting his lip. Lee Hae-sung slowly blinked, lifting his downward-gazing eyelids.
“You’re afraid they’ll think I’m crazy?”
“……”
Scandals or anything like that don’t scare him. He believes that he can handle them. However, if he were to call a new acquaintance Choi Hong-seo and keep him by his side, it might look bizarre to his closest confidants. Moreover, if that person happened to resemble Choi Hong-seo, he might be seen as someone whose reason was flawed, crushed by the shadow of the deceased.
“Hmm…”
Lee Hae-sung let out a long sigh through his closed lips. It wasn’t a heavy sigh. It was more like the sigh of someone who had shed a burden and solidified their resolve.
A flight attendant came and took away their champagne glasses, and an announcement soon followed that they were moving to the runway for takeoff. Sitting side-by-side on the long sofa seats, the two fastened their seatbelts.
As the plane began to move, Lee Hae-sung tilted his head and looked this way. A faint smile, barely visible, played at the corners of his lips.
“Yoon Hye-an, let’s move to Bundang and live together.”
“……”
Choi Hong-seo was taken aback. He had already been called by that name countless times by him. He hadn’t expected to feel such pain and disappointment anew. To hide his complex bewilderment, he awkwardly averted his gaze. He touched his lips with his hand to conceal his expression and turned his head.
When he was with him, his own emotions always showed new reactions. It was the same in his previous life.
His emotions, so dry they were almost brittle, had learned to not react strongly to any stimulus. This applied whether it was anger, resentment, hatred, or the occasional joy, glory, or happiness. He had to create a heart that didn’t react to protect himself.
But when he was with Lee Hae-sung, who called him a baby despite his dried-out state, aspects of himself that even Choi Hong-seo didn’t know were revealed. Sprouts emerged from the roots of senses he thought had died. Those tender, light green leaves, reacting nimbly to even the slightest breeze, sunlight, or trickle of water, were a vibrant life he hadn’t known he possessed.
Because by his side, he didn’t have to protect or guard himself.
Because he didn’t have to kill his heart to the point of feeling nothing.
So, his heart powerfully felt joy and happiness, as well as disappointment and sadness, by his side. And Choi Hong-seo didn’t dislike this version of himself. He didn’t dislike the sensation of living, of feeling everything with all his might. It was just that, for now, he was occasionally bewildered.
He heard his low laughter from behind his head. Then followed Lee Hae-sung’s characteristic sweet sigh. After that, a large, warm hand settled on his head.
“Hong-seo-ya.”
“……”
“You were the one who told me to call you Yoon Hye-an. But why the long face?”
The hand above his head was removed, and his chin gently pressed down on the edge of his shoulder. Still unable to meet his eyes, Choi Hong-seo hesitated before answering.
“When it’s just the two of us… I don’t like it.”
For Choi Hong-seo, sorrow was a privileged emotion that only children who received an abundance of love could feel.
That’s why he felt sorrow for the first time when Lee Hae-sung showed him coldness as Yoon Hye-an. He was the only person who could make Choi Hong-seo feel sorrow.
He marveled at discovering this side of himself, feeling sorrow even when he knew the other person was just teasing. But he didn’t think he had made him weak.
For him, he could die once more right here, without hesitation. No one could call that weakness.